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“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”
Minho nodded, his face expressionless.
“Thank you for your help.”
He stood up and turned to leave.
One year. One year. One year.
Two words swirled in his mind, over and over again.
***
What does one do for one year?
Minho didn’t know. But for now he supposed that going on as usual would suffice. When he moved to Seoul, he had already cut off ties from his family and old friends. Alone in the city, he figured that continuing to keep his distance from others would be easy.
Perhaps he would’ve tried to do something different if he had known how wrong he would be.
***
“Could I get a large iced americano? With two creams and three sugars, please.”
Minho’s eyebrows raised in surprise as the fluffy cheeked customer in front of him rattled off specifications identical to his own preferred drink.
“Name?”
“Quokka.”
Minho paused, pen hovering over the cup, and glanced back up at the customer curiously. Gazing back evenly, the customer simply puffed up his cheeks with air, his expression unchanged.
He was ridiculously adorable.
Laughing lightly, Minho turned his attention back to the cup, scribbling the word down.
“Your order will come out on the counter to your left.”
***
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more perfect human being,” Jisung sighed, resting his cheek into his palm.
“Stare harder, why don’t you. Maybe he’ll finally notice you,” Changbin said without lifting his eyes from his laptop.
“You should’ve heard his laugh, hyung. It was like the clouds opened and the sun shone through for the first time in years. Lighting up the darkness that is my heart.”
Changbin rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramaticism, but declined to comment.
“Quokka?” A voice called out across the cafe.
“That’s my cue!” Jisung stood up excitedly. “Do you think he’ll give me his number if I ask cutely?”
He did not.
***
“Quokka?”
“Squirrel this time!” Jisung said brightly as Minho poised his pen over the cup.
Minho smirked in curious amusement but made no comment as he wrote it down.
“Your order will be out soon.”
“Hyung, he remembered me!!” Jisung said excitedly to an uninterested Changbin as he returned to the table.
***
“Sorry, I don’t give out my number to strangers.”
Jisung pouted.
“Do you really consider me a stranger? We’ve talked more than five times now.”
“Other than the fact that we have the same coffee order,” Jisung raised his eyebrows at this new piece of information, “and that you have some weird obsession with mammals with cheek pockets, I know nothing about you. Not even your name?”
Jisung smiled brightly.
“My name is Jisung! I’m a second year university student, majoring in music production. Cheesecake is the love of my life and my ultimate goal in life is to be rich enough to eat it everyday for the rest of my life.” Holding out his phone, Jisung stared expectantly at the other boy. “There, now we’re no longer strangers.”
Minho stared at the outstretched device, somewhat baffled by the exchange.
Perhaps it was a moment of weakness, perhaps Minho was more lonely than he realized, or perhaps he couldn’t find it in himself to reject the adorable boy staring at him with wide, pleading eyes for the sixth time, but whatever it was, Jisung returned to Changbin that day with a triumphant grin and a new number saved in his phone.
***
[1:00pm] Unknown number: hi this is jisung!! aka quokka/squirrel/hamster/chipmunk/i forget the others
Read at 1:30pm
***
“You never responded to my text.”
“Sorry I’m bad at texting.” Minho shrugged apologetically, handing Jisung the iced americano.
“How about real life talking then? When does your shift end?”
Minho hesitated, but repeated exposure had weakened his resistance to the soft boy.
“3pm”
The bright, heart-shaped smile Jisung flashed at Minho did things to his chest that he would rather ignore.
“Great! I’ll meet you outside the cafe at 3pm.”
***
“You do realize that I work at a coffee shop, right?” Minho said, staring at the cup that Jisung was handing to him as they stood outside the cafe.
“Well you’re always serving me, so I just wanted to return the favor once?” Jisung pouted, his cheeks puffing out. “An iced americano. Two creams, three sugars.”
Resisting the urge to poke the other boy’s squishy cheeks, Minho sighed. Taking the offered drink, he sipped at it, satisfied with the familiar taste.
“So, hyung, do you like movies?”
“I usually watch them alone,” he said succinctly.
“Great! So you’ll be experiencing something new today!”
***
“You really don’t have to keep getting me coffees. At this rate I’m going to develop an addiction like yours.”
“It’s not an addiction, it’s a hearty fascination,” Jisung said indignantly.
“Well either way, you’re dying early from all the sugar you eat.”
Minho stiffened at his own words as they left his mouth. Being with Jisung had allowed him to forget about his own circumstances for a brief moment. The boy was too easy to talk to and Minho found his defenses lowering despite his resistance.
Jisung laughed happily, oblivious to Minho’s internal struggle.
“I’ll gladly die for cheesecake.” Looping his arm through Minho’s, he continued, “A short life filled with cheesecake and iced americanos while hanging out with you doesn’t seem like a bad deal,” he joked.
Minho couldn’t laugh with him.
“I’d rather you live a long and healthy life.”
***
“Hyung, let’s go take a picture with the big heart!” Jisung said, tugging Minho towards the attraction.
“There are a lot of people in line,” Minho noted dryly.
“It’s okay, we can wait, it’ll go quick!”
“Everyone in line seems to be a couple.”
Looking around, Jisung realized he was right. A blush tinging his cheeks, he hesitated, suddenly awkward.
Seeing his embarrassment, Minho sighed at the innocent boy.
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s go take the damn picture.”
***
“You don’t talk to your parents anymore?”
“We had a bit of a falling out after I moved out here.” Minho shrugged. “I wanted to be a dancer. They had other ideas. Turns out it was something we couldn’t come to an agreement on.”
Jisung frowned.
“But things have changed now? You don’t dance anymore.”
Minho winced.
“Well, there were other reasons for that.”
After that, no matter how Jisung prodded, Minho wouldn’t say any more.
***
“Aren’t the cherry blossoms so pretty?” Jisung laughed, spinning around, gazing up at the dancing pink petals swirling around them.
Minho laughed with him, watching the excitable boy run around in the shower of pink.
Jisung ran to the nearest tree with strong, sturdy branches low enough for him to reach. Climbing quickly up the trunk, using the branches for support, he turned and sat on one of the branches, his dangling feet now high enough to clear Minho’s head.
Watching him amusedly, Minho was caught by the image of the cute boy in the tree, surrounded by the blooming flowers. Wanting to preserve the moment, he took out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of Jisung laughing in delight. Smiling softly down at the picture, Minho was broken out of his admiration when a voice called his name.
“Come join me!” Jisung yelled, beckoning him up. Minho shook his head.
“I’m good down here. Heights aren’t really my thing.”
Eyes widening and mouth dropping into an “o,” Jisung stared down at him, a contemplative look overtaking his surprised one.
“Would it help if I held your hand the entire time?”
Rolling his eyes, Minho knew it would, but was unwilling to say so. Instead, he responded by taking a hold of the nearest branch and pulling himself up until he was eventually settled beside Jisung.
Barely registering Jisung’s satisfied grin at him, Minho stared straight ahead, taking calming breaths and trying not to focus on how far away the ground was.
“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” Jisung said happily, snaking his arms around Minho’s waist and gathering his hands in his own.
***
Jisung stared incredulously at the acorn in his palm.
“Hyung… Did… Did you put this in my pocket?”
Minho grinned cheekily.
“It reminded me of you.”
“It-- you-- what?” Jisung asked, bewildered.
Laughing gleefully, Minho explained further.
“I was walking home and found it in the grass. It made me think of you so I wanted to give it to you,” he said, pinching Jisung’s round cheeks.
“Hyung, why are you so weird?”
“One of life’s biggest mysteries, Sungie.”
***
Wide-eyed, Jisung and Minho stared at the receipt in front of them.
“H- How did we manage to eat this much sushi?”
Looking up at Minho, Jisung whispered,
“We each ate $100 worth of sushi, hyung.”
Meeting each other’s eyes, they held eye contact for a few moments before a giggle escaped out of Minho’s mouth.
Soon, they were both laughing hysterically, bellies aching, and tears running down their cheeks.
Picking up the $200 bill, Jisung managed to calm down enough to speak.
“Well, it’s a good thing that we came here with this,” he said slyly, holding up his mother’s credit card, the original reason behind their fancy outing.
***
Boom.
Minho felt Jisung’s head lean on his shoulder as they watched the fireworks explode in the sky above them. Entranced by the dazzling display of colors, Minho automatically tilted his head to rest it on top of the other’s.
Naturally, almost subconsciously, their hands found each other, twining into a loose grasp between their bodies.
Feeling Jisung’s head start to lift, Minho straightened his head, turning to look at the other boy. He found himself staring into wide eyes, inches away from his own.
Before he could help himself, his eyes flicked down to Jisung’s lips, which were slightly parted, very plump, very pink, and very kissable.
His heart dropping into his stomach, Minho was suddenly forced to come to terms with the feelings he had been trying to avoid.
Panic flashing through him, he jumped to his feet, ignoring the flash of shock and hurt in the other boy’s eyes.
“I have to go.”
***
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
Minho berated himself, pacing back and forth in his apartment.
He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get this attached. He shouldn’t have allowed Jisung to get so close. The past 6 months were like a dream and Minho almost allowed himself to forget that all dreams had to end at some point.
He stopped pacing, staring straight ahead. It was time to wake up. He had to stop this. Break it off before it was too late.
Quickly coming to a decision, he grabbed his coat, heading out of his apartment, already dialing the other boy’s number.
Listening to his phone ring, Minho squinted up at the bright sun, watching the clouds drift lazily across the blue sky, a contrast to the rushed anxiety he was currently feeling.
Perhaps he had stared a bit too directly at the sun, as Minho felt a wave of dizziness overtake him. Closing his eyes and shaking his head, he opened them again to the same spinning world. The noises around him became muted and Minho barely registered the sound of a click and a familiar voice saying “Hyung?” before the world spun once more and went black.
***
Minho opened his eyes to white. A white ceiling, white walls, white blankets, and-- brown. Brown eyes rimmed with red.
“You’re awake.”
Jisung’s tear-streaked face stared up at him and Minho automatically raised his hand to wipe away the wetness on his cheeks. When he realized what he was doing, he stiffened and quickly pulled away.
Catching his retreating hand, Jisung grasped it in between his own. Eyes wide and glassy, he stared at Minho, hurt and sadness etched into his face.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Minho looked away, unable to face the distress of the other boy. He heard a sigh, before silence overtook them.
***
Blinking awake, Minho focused on the sleeping face beside him.
After being discharged from the hospital, Minho had somehow been dragged to Jisung’s apartment and was asked to stay the night due to the late hour. Still weak to the younger boy’s pleading eyes, he had reluctantly agreed. They had fallen asleep with Jisung tightly hugging Minho’s waist, as if afraid the older boy would disappear if he had loosened his grip.
Upon confirming that Jisung was still sleeping, Minho allowed himself to brush his hair away from his forehead, silently admiring his profile. Softly cupping his cheek, he shifted forward to press a light kiss to Jisung’s forehead.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, before climbing off the bed, extracting himself from the other’s slackened grip, careful to not jostle the sleeping boy.
Standing by the bed, he took one more moment to stare down at the face that he had unintentionally fallen for, committing the features to memory one last time.
Finally deciding he couldn’t wait any longer, with the younger boy possibly waking up any moment now, Minho turned with a sigh, steeling himself to leave part of his heart behind.
Taking a step towards the door, Minho felt a hand grab his wrist, pulling him to a stop. Not looking back, he heard Jisung speak, his voice too clear to have just woken up.
“If you think you’re sparing me from pain, you’re wrong.”
Minho hesitated. Still not turning around, he spoke to the floor.
“What we had… That kind of happiness. It won’t last.”
The grip on his wrist pulled harder and Minho was forced to turn back towards the bed. Jisung had sat up on the bed and now rose to a kneeling position, placing him at eye level with Minho. Releasing his wrist to cup both sides of his face, Jisung stared at him seriously.
“Even if that’s true, I intend to have it for as long as I can.”
And then he pressed his lips against Minho’s.
Stiffening at first, eyes wide, Minho eventually let his eyes flutter shut and relaxed into the feeling of Jisung’s soft lips against his own. Their lips moved lightly and slowly against each other, gradually growing deeper. The kiss silently expressed the depth of repressed emotion they had for each other, covered in a veil of hesitation and sadness, every touch filled with bittersweetness.
When they pulled away, Minho rested his forehead against Jisung’s, eyes closed.
“This isn’t fair to you,” he murmured.
Jisung chuckled lightly.
“Hyung haven’t I already told you? A short life filled with cheesecake and iced americanos while being with you doesn’t seem like such a bad deal.”
Minho hummed, realizing he agreed. He was just thankful that it only applied to himself.
“Seems like a shitty deal to me.”
“Just shut up and kiss me again.”
Smiling softly, Minho obeyed.