Archive of Our Own

“Are you a dream?”

“I’m whatever you want me to be.”

***

Furiously swiping away his tears that managed to escape despite his best efforts, Jisung ran out the front door after a particularly nasty fight with his parents.

They’ll never understand , Jisung thought to himself angrily, my entire life is here. I could never just leave it behind.

For the past few months, Jisung’s parents had been trying to convince him to move across the country starting in the fall to attend a prestigious boarding school that, quote, “would open up so many opportunities and set him on the path for success.” He was wasting away his life in this small town, they would say.

Jisung was less than happy about the arrangement. He loved his hometown, his school, his friends. He loved walking down the street and chatting with the little old lady who ran the flower shop. When he was bored, she would invite him in for some tea and send him off with a rose to “give to his special someone,” she would say with a wink.

As he ran down the street, he passed by the cafe where he and his friends would always hang out, laughing and joking over hot chocolate and pastries for hours on end. The owner there would occasionally bring them free sweets or cakes, never complaining even when the boys would get a little too loud and boisterous.

He ran past his favorite tteokbokki place, where they would make the dish with the perfect proportion of spice, sauce, and rice cake; something that Jisung swore that no other place could do.

At the recognizable bend in the road, Jisung veered to the right, running into the grass and jumping the fence that bordered the grassy meadow that Jisung knew like the back of his hand. 

Once he landed among the tall grass and its softly swaying flowers, Jisung allowed himself to slow to a walk, chest heaving, his tears still drying on his cheeks. Taking deep breaths, he allowed the familiar feel of the grass brushing past his legs and through his fingers soothe his mind.

There was one more reason why Jisung refused to leave this town. The one thing, no-- person, that he could never leave behind. And that was--

“You’ve been crying.”

Spinning towards the familiar voice, Jisung felt his heart lift as his eyes rested on the face that could ease all his worries with a single smile. His eyes locked with large brown ones, framed with long lashes that seemed to sweep across his cheeks each time he blinked. A strong jaw and defined cheekbones only added to the ethereal beauty of the person who stood before him. He was surrounded by a soft, shimmering light and Jisung never knew whether or not it was actually emitted by the other or if it was just his own brain adding a halo effect to the otherworldly boy.

Minho.

***

A little while later, they were sitting underneath their favorite tree, a large peach blossom. Jisung was curled up with his head resting in Minho’s lap, the latter slowly combing his fingers through Jisung’s hair.

Jisung allowed himself to relax into the other’s touch, lulled into peace by the steady strokes. He opened his eyes and felt his breath catch as he looked up at Minho, his beauty framed by the blooming pink flowers surrounding them.

Feeling his gaze, Minho looked down at the boy in his lap, giving him a soft smile. A smirk that only raised one corner of his lips and hinted at the mischievousness and playfulness that Jisung loved.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Minho teased, knowing full well the number of times that Jisung had attempted to photograph the other boy, only to be left with an empty background.

Pouting, Jisung stuck out his tongue but continued to stare, confidently and desperately committing the familiar outline to memory.

“Are you going to talk about it?” Minho asked, poking softly at the lip Jisung had pursed.

At that, Jisung sighed and turned his head, looking out instead at the meadow. 

“There’s nothing new to talk about. I’m not leaving. My parents can’t make me.”

It was Minho’s turn to sigh, his hand stilling on the boy’s head.

“Jisungie…”

“No!” Jisung sat up suddenly, Minho’s hand falling from his head. Glaring at the elder boy, Jisung turned to face him directly. “Don’t say it. I have everything I want and need here. There’s no possible reason that could convince me to leave.”

“Sungie, you’re still so young. You have your whole life in front of you. You’re smart, personable, and talented. I would hate to see you just waste away here when you have so much potential outside of this small town.” Minho reasoned, his brow furrowing as he pleaded with the other boy. Jisung shook his head quickly. 

“Stop saying that! You sound just like my parents. Doesn’t it matter to any of you what I want to do?” Jisung choked out, tears beginning to prick at his eyes again.

“Of course it matters, Sungie.” Minho sighed. “But you shouldn’t stay here just because… just because of me. I’m not-- I can’t--” Minho ran his hand through his hair in frustration, “I’d be stealing your future from you by allowing you to stay here with me.” He let his hands drop into his lap, his chin dropping as he looked down. “I can’t offer you anything,” he murmured.

Jisung placed his hands on Minho’s cheeks, forcing the other boy to look up and meet his gaze.

“Anything I could want, you’ve already given me.” Jisung said fervently. “There’s nothing more I want than to stay next to you.” As a thought popped into his head, he let his gaze drop, his hands following. “Unless… I mean, unless you don’t want me around anymore,” Jisung stammered uncertainly, his eyes watering at the thought.

Minho’s eyes softened as he sighed, pulling Jisung into his lap, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on his head. Jisung burrowed his face into Minho’s neck, his own arms sneaking around the elder’s waist.

“You know that could never happen.” Minho decided to let the matter drop for now, allowing them to just be content in each other’s presence. Whether or not Jisung left, they still had the entire summer to spend together before school would start in the fall.

Jisung nestled further into Minho’s embrace, enjoying his scent and the comfort that came with his warmth. The peace didn’t last long, however, as he suddenly felt a jab against his side. Jerking backwards, he let out a shriek as Minho started tickling his side. Trying violently to worm out of the comforting embrace turned deadly grip, Jisung smacked Minho’s shoulder, gasping out broken laughs.

“Let me goooo!” Jisung shrieked, attempting to twist away from Minho’s offending hands. Even in his tickling-induced frenzy, Minho’s peals of laughter sounded like music and Jisung found himself wishing he could listen to it forever. 

Eventually, Minho released the boy, tears streaking down his face from the playful torture he was just subjected to. Jisung flopped onto his back, trying to catch his breath.

“I swear,” he panted. “I don’t know why I put up with you. You’re the worst.” Minho giggled.

“That may be true, but it clearly doesn’t stop you from coming back,” he said, waggling his eyebrows. 

“It’s not my fault,” Jisung said, “You must have cast some sort of spell over me. There’s no way I would deal with you out of my own free will.”

“Ah yes. I suppose I am at fault. My dashing good looks are too difficult for anyone to resist,” Minho preened.

“Just admit that you chose me to seduce because you found me too cute to resist,” Jisung teased, puffing out his cheeks in a way that he knew Minho adored.

Sure enough, Minho reached out to pinch his cheeks, stretching out the soft skin, cooing at the boy below him. Smacking his hands away, Jisung wrinkled his nose at Minho, still feeling the ghost of his touch on his face. Minho smiled down at Jisung, then quickly leaned down to press a kiss against his forehead.

Blushing, Jisung stared up at him, shyly peering through his eyelashes. Minho brushed his fingers lightly across his pink cheeks, lingering slightly, then suddenly poking into the squishy flesh.

“Cute.”

Jisung pouted at the adjective, but long used to the description.

“You should get going. It’ll be dark soon and your parents will worry.”

Jisung sighed, knowing Minho was right. Reluctantly he stood up, feeling Minho’s gaze on him as he did so.

“I’ll be back tomorrow,” he promised.

“I’ll be waiting.”

***

“So are you gonna be going to that new boarding school in the fall?”

Jisung groaned, leaning back in his chair and letting his head loll back in frustration. Why was this the only topic that anyone would talk about nowadays? He glared at his friend who had made the offending comment. 

“Not if I can help it,” Jisung muttered. He and his two friends, Seungmin and Felix, were lounging at their usual table in the cafe, sharing a piece of cheesecake. It had been a month since the ugly fight with his parents and subsequent conversation with Minho, and Jisung was thankful that both parties had not brought up the sensitive topic since then.

Seungmin shrugged. “You can’t deny that it’s a great opportunity. One that a bunch of people would kill for, I bet.”

“You say that like you wouldn’t refuse it too,” Jisung scoffed. Seungmin’s family ran the bakery in town and it had been passed down through countless generations; Seungmin’s being no different.

“Jisungggggggg. You gotta make sure to come back and visit often! Don’t forget about us!!” Felix whined dramatically, throwing his arms around Jisung. Shoving his friend away, Jisung rolled his eyes. 

“I’m telling you, I’m not leaving. Stop being so dramatic.” Felix sat back, his eyes gaining a new teasing glint.

“Don’t tell me you’re resisting because of a certain ethereal looking boy that you go and meet in the meadow every day,” Felix sniggered, donning a lovestruck look as he quoted Jisung’s past description.

“Well it’s certainly not because of us,” Seungmin said, rolling his eyes. “I’m still not convinced this Minho even exists,” He started ticking off his fingers, “You can’t take pictures of him, Felix and I have never seen him, and he never leaves the meadow.”

Felix gasped, his eyes going comically wide. “Seungmin! I can’t believe you! Don’t you believe in magic? It’s like Jisung has his own personal guardian fairy or something! I believe in the power of true love!” Felix turned to Jisung, clapping a hand on his shoulder, giving him a look of respect. “I commend you for finding something that neither of us will ever find. Especially not Seungmin, with his cynical attitude.”

“Hey, excuse me for being concerned about our friend’s mental sanity. You can’t deny it’s a weird situation and he definitely doesn’t need you egging him on,” Seungmin bristled.

Jisung started to zone out, his friends’ bickering fading into the background. He did often wonder what exactly Minho was. Why wouldn’t he show up in any photos? Why couldn’t he leave the meadow? He had asked the older boy multiple times, but Minho always deflected with another question or changed the subject.

Sometimes at night Jisung would wonder if he had just simply imagined the boy and their entire relationship. But when he visited Minho, felt his warmth, smelled his scent, saw his eyes curve into crescents when he laughed, all his doubts disappeared. When he felt Minho’s cheek, warm and solid against his palm, Jisung knew that this incredible boy was not something he could’ve conjured from the depths of his imagination.

Jisung thought back to the first time met Minho, a smile ghosting his lips as he relived the encounter.

*** Flashback … START ***

One year ago

Today, Jisung was feeling particularly adventurous. As he walked down the all too familiar road that ran straight through his town, he tried to think of something new that he could do in this small town. Lost in thought, he didn’t realize when the road began to curve left and stumbled when he walked straight off the side of the road. Standing up straight, he noticed the fence that ran along the west side of town, separating the town from the fields beyond.

Approaching the fence, he whipped his head around, looking for witnesses. After ensuring there was no one watching, he quickly hopped over the barrier. He landed in grass and wildflowers that came up to his waist and was met with a field that stretched out as far as the eye could see. Almost instantly, Jisung could feel a shift in the atmosphere. The air felt serene, peaceful, almost dreamlike. Walking forward, Jisung let his hand trail through the grass, enjoying the feel of the soft plants running along his bare skin.

There were occasional trees scattered throughout the meadow, but one in particular caught his eye. It was by far the largest tree in the vicinity, several of its large branches drooping down to skim the ground. It was a peach blossom tree, and the pink flowers were in full bloom. As Jisung watched, the flowers fluttered in the slight breeze, a small shower of pink and white petals softly swirling around to form a rippling canopy. 

Entranced, Jisung hadn’t realized he was walking towards the tree until he was close enough to touch a branch. Stepping beneath its wide shade, Jisung sat down, leaned back against the trunk and quietly watched the colorful petals dance through the air. 

Lulled by the peaceful and enchanting atmosphere, Jisung allowed his eyes to slip shut.

“You’re in my spot.”

Jisung’s eyes flew open, meeting the gaze of another pair of brown eyes that were much too close for comfort. Jumping half a foot in the air, Jisung tried to scramble backwards but his movement was prevented by the trunk behind him. Still attempting to create distance between their faces, he involuntarily jerked his head backwards and slammed it on the tree. Groaning and clutching his head, he fell sideways, finally free of the enclosed space.

Throughout the whole ordeal, the figure who had startled Jisung hadn’t moved from his crouched position, simply turning his head down to follow Jisung’s fall to the ground. Still groaning, Jisung attempted to maneuver himself into an upright position that was not between the stranger and the tree.

“The hell--” Jisung cursed as he struggled. But his words caught in his throat as soon as he got a better look at the boy in front of him.

He was, in short, the most beautiful person Jisung had ever seen.

He was dressed simply in jeans and a sweater, but somehow still made it look like he could walk down a runway. Soft brown hair swept across his forehead, and framed his perfectly sculpted face. His high cheekbones, sharp nose, and soft lips did nothing to detract from his wide, doe-like eyes. Jisung was sucked in, feeling his breath catch.

Jisung had always thought of himself as attractive, perhaps one of the best looking around town. But after he saw the boy in front of him, his first thought was, so it is possible for a human this good-looking to exist.

The thought made his stomach churn a little in jealousy, as he glared defiantly at the other boy. Seemingly sensing the shift in mood, the other boy cocked one eyebrow, one side of his mouth sliding up in a confident smirk.

Uncomfortable by the way that expression made heat rise up his neck and paint his cheeks pink, Jisung blurted out the first thing in his mind.

“Who are you?” 

The other boy’s smirk deepened as he laughed lightly.

“Shouldn’t I be the one to be asking you that?”

Feeling his blush deepen, Jisung muttered, “Jisung. My name is Jisung.” Hearing this, the smirk turned into a full smile as the other responded,

“And I’m Minho.”

Minho , Jisung thought, mentally rolling the name around. He liked it a little more than he would care to admit.

Straightening up to his full height, Minho stared down at Jisung still on the ground, his features settling back into a soft smirk.

“Well Jisung, despite the fact that you have stolen my spot, I will allow it just this once,” he said, beginning to walk away. Pausing before fully leaving the tree’s canopy, he called back over his shoulder, “but only because you’re cute.”

And then he was gone, leaving Jisung with too many questions and too many feelings.

*

Trotting off the now familiar bend in the road, Jisung hopped the fence again, a rose tucked in his back pocket from his recent visit to the old lady running the flower shop. For your special someone , she had said. Jisung didn’t have the heart to tell her that there was no such person, so he accepted the flower and left it in his pocket as he continued on his way.

Heading towards the peach blossom tree, Jisung hadn’t gotten far before he heard the voice that had haunted his thoughts and dreams for the past few days.

“You’re back.”

Turning slowly, Jisung braced himself so he wouldn’t be struck speechless after seeing Minho. It didn’t work.

“I, uhm, yea. I suppose.” He stuttered out breathlessly.

“Back to steal my spot?” Minho asked, his lips lifting into what Jisung now recognized as his teasing smirk.

“Maybe not steal? I was thinking, uh, that we could maybe share?” Jisung muttered while toeing the ground, his hand reaching up to rub his rapidly reddening neck.

“Hmm,” Minho hummed, tapping his chin and scanning Jisung critically. “I suppose I could be convinced.” 

Jisung raised his head to meet Minho’s gaze, surprised and a little hopeful. 

“With appropriate payment.” 

Jisung felt his stomach drop. 

“Ah… sorry I don’t have any money on me right now…” Jisung said, thoroughly embarrassed. Eyes glued to the ground, he mumbled, “I guess… If you prefer, I can go…” Making to walk back to the fence, Jisung hadn’t even taken one step before he was blocked by a body that was much closer than it was before.

Surprised, Jisung looked up to find Minho’s face inches from his. Frozen, all he could do was stare as he slowly moved closer. From this distance, Jisung noticed that the other boy had a small mole on his nose, above his left nostril. Following the dark spot, Jisung went almost cross-eyed as it came even closer.

And suddenly, the warmth was gone, Minho now a few feet away, brandishing the rose from his back pocket in front of him, covering his small smile.

“This will do,” he announced, “I do hope you weren’t saving it for anyone.”

Jisung’s hands flew to the back of his jeans, finding the now empty pockets. He shook his head quickly, both in response and also to shake unwanted thoughts out of his head. 

“No no, you can have it. The florist in town likes to dote on me. And besides, she had just given it to me to give--” Jisung cut himself off, cursing himself for almost revealing the true purpose of the rose.

“To give…?” Minho questioned. “Give to who?”

Jisung clamped his mouth shut, unwilling to say more.

“Ah ah Jisungie, keeping secrets already, I see.” Jisung flushed at the nickname, but kept his resolve. Minho laughed at his dedication and began to walk towards the peach blossom tree.

“It’s too bad,” he said nonchalantly. “I do quite like roses. But I’d like them even more if I knew they were specially meant for me,” he said slyly, pausing in his stride. Jisung snapped his head to look at Minho, eyes wide.

Having received the confirmation he needed, Minho just laughed, a full bright laughter, his cheeks pushing his eyes almost closed, forming crescents. Jisung again found himself losing his breath and wondered if he would ever be able to breathe around Minho.

“You coming?” Minho called back, already halfway to the tree. Shaking his head clear of thoughts again, Jisung broke into a jog to catch up with the other boy.

*

“We’re playing by my rules today,” Jisung announced, walking up to the tree and brandishing a deck of cards. Minho looked up curiously from where he was lying down under the green leaves the tree was now sporting.

“Oh? And what rules are those?” He asked, amused.

“Doubles, sandwiches, and NO runs,” Jisung said emphatically, citing the valid card combinations to slap in ERS.

“That’s way too little,” Minho insisted. “The game is so boring if you don’t play with runs. You’ll hardly ever slap and by the time you do, the stack is so large it’s basically game over.”

“That’s the point!” Jisung exclaimed, “It raises the stakes! Each slap is a slap for survival! Life or death!”

Rolling his eyes, Minho nodded and lazily agreed to play by his stated rules as he sat up, motioning for Jisung to sit across from him.

Hardly 2 minutes passed before Minho slapped a combination that Jisung didn’t see, grabbed the pile, and added it to his own stack, too fast for Jisung to confirm whether or not the slap was valid.

Peering suspiciously at Minho, Jisung growled warningly,

“Minho hyung…” 

Minho blinked innocently back.

“Yes, Jisungie?”

“What was the combo that you just slapped?” Minho sniffed.

“A valid one.”

“It was a run wasn’t it?!” Jisung screeched, launching himself at the older boy, grabbing at the pile of cards in his hands.

Despite being tackled, all Minho does is laugh gleefully, entirely enjoying Jisung’s indignation. Unable to keep the cards away from Jisung for very long, he decided to throw his entire stack in the air, the cards scattering and fluttering down around them. Jisung stopped his attack for a few seconds to stare in horror at the mess before turning and tackling Minho again.

“You cheater!” Jisung shrieked, “Lee Minho, you are such a cheater!”

“You have no proof that I cheated,” Minho laughed, vainly trying to fend off Jisung’s attacks, “are you falsely accusing poor me of cheating when all I did was attempt to follow the rules that you forced me to agree to?” He said, with as much as an innocent voice he could muster through his laughter.

“I hate you.”

“You love me, Jisungie.”

Jisung couldn’t find it within himself to disagree with that statement.

*

“Can I take a picture of you, hyung?” Jisung asked as they munched on some of the peaches given by their finally fruiting tree.

Minho glanced over at Jisung, smirking,

“What, you can’t get enough of me when you’re here, so you need a way to look at me when you’re at home?”

Smacking his shoulder, Jisung pouted.

“Seungmin and Felix don’t believe you exist, hyung. So I have to show them a picture of you to prove that you’re real.”

Minho gasped in fake horror, clutching his chest.

“Does this mean you don’t actually care enough about me to want a picture for yourself?” Minho pretended to be faint, lifting a hand to his head. “I don’t think I can take a picture now, I’m too devastated.”

“Hyungggggggggg,” Jisung whined, pulling at his arm. “Come on, it’s just one picture and it’s just to prove your existence to my friends!”

“So your own personal descriptions of me aren’t enough for them?” Minho sniffed. “I’m not sure if the fault is on them for not believing you or on you for not describing me well enough,” he joked, poking Jisung in the stomach.

Knowing that Minho was purposely deflecting, Jisung refused to play along and sat stubbornly, staring at the other boy expectantly.

Seeing that the boy wasn’t going to budge, Minho sighed.

“Give me your phone,” he relented, holding out his hand. Brightening up, Jisung broke into a wide smile as he dug out his phone and quickly handed it to Minho.

Turning towards Jisung, Minho raised the phone, the back of the device facing Jisung, and snapped a quick selfie of himself, his fingers forming a “V” next to his eye. Handing the phone back to Jisung, he smirked.

“Here you go. Now you have eternally preserved my beauty in your phone.”

Scoffing, Jisung moved to unlock his phone so he could look at the photo that Minho took, but Minho stopped him, placing a hand over his.

“Ah ah, not so fast. Don’t want you fainting in shock after seeing such a flawless photo of myself. Look at it on your own later, when you’re missing me most,” Minho teased.

Rolling his eyes, Jisung laughed exasperatedly at the other boy, but acquiesced and put his phone back in his pocket.

Later on, when Jisung opened his phone to look at the picture, he was instead confronted with a picture of himself, stars in his eyes as he watched Minho take the fake selfie. 

*

Tears running down his face, his face stinging from the cold wind and his almost frozen tears, Jisung hopped the familiar fence. Almost instantly, Jisung felt a familiar presence.

“Jisungie?” Appearing by his side, Minho reached out to touch his head. “Sungie, what’s wrong?”

Turning to bury his face in the elder’s shoulder, Jisung felt arms automatically wrap around his waist.

“They’re trying to make me leave, hyung,” he sobbed. “They want me to move away. I don’t want to go.”

“Who’s they?” Minho asked, pulling away slightly, brow furrowed in confusion and concern. “What’s going on?”

After taking a few breaths to calm himself, Jisung explained the situation. About how his parents had got him accepted into a prestigious boarding school across the country and now expected him to begin attendance starting next year. And once they had brought it up and he had refused, about the subsequent fight that followed.

“They just never asked me,” Jisung sighed, running his hands through his hair. “And now they expect me to just leave my entire life behind, saying that this will be the start of a better one.”

Minho hummed, tapping Jisung’s knee. They were both now sitting in the grass, backs against the fence, huddled together for warmth.

Looking out across the field, Minho breathed out slowly, watching his breath expand into a white cloud and dissipate. He hesitated slightly before beginning to speak.

“This probably isn’t what you want to hear right now,” he said slowly, “but your parents have your best intentions in mind. They want the best life for you.” 

Jisung sighed again.

“I know that, but--”

“And because I do too, I have to agree with them.”

At those words Jisung snapped his head up, turning to look at Minho.

“What?” Jisung said flatly, filled with a sense of betrayal.

Turning his head to meet Jisung’s gaze, Minho stared back evenly.

“This is a great opportunity for you,” he said, “it opens up your future to so many more possibilities than you could ever get if you stayed in this town.” Minho’s gaze softened, hand reaching up to cup Jisung’s cheek. “Someone like you is wasted here.”

Resisting the urge to lean his cold cheek into the warmth of Minho’s hand, Jisung turned his head away, letting Minho’s hand fall back down into his lap.

“I can’t believe you would take their side,” Jisung muttered, anger rising in his chest. “I thought you of all people would stay by my side.”

“I’ll always be on your side, Sungie,” Minho said, “I’m still on your side. And your parents are too.”

Jisung shook his head, eyes flashing.

“That's not what I mean. None of you are taking my own feelings into account. What's the point of a “successful” future if I'm not happy?” Jisung spat, hands forming quotes. “I'm happy here.” Glaring defiantly at Minho, he continued, “I'm happy here with you.”

“That may be true for now, but growth is important,” Minho reasoned softly. “You can’t grow here. You’ll be stuck,” he sighed, breaking Jisung’s gaze and looking out at the peaceful and still meadow. Catching a wildflower between his fingers, he plucked it and murmured, staring down at the small petals in his hands,  “stuck like me.”

“What if I want to be stuck here with you?” Jisung said simply, still staring at the other boy.

Minho’s hand suddenly clenched into a fist, crushing the flower, as he looked up at Jisung, eyes wide.

“Don’t--” Minho breathed. “Please don’t tell me you mean that.”

Jisung’s stomach dropped; Minho’s words sliding between his ribs like a sharp knife. Swallowing, he allowed the hurt to turn into anger.

“I meant exactly what I said,” he said challengingly.

“I’m not worth it, Jisung,” Minho said flatly, his voice finally dropping any of the warmth it had held before.

The cool detachment of Minho’s voice and the fact that Minho hadn’t called him by his full name since the first time they met, always opting for an affectionate nickname, slammed into Jisung, and he sucked in a breath. Feeling his eyes begin to burn, he jumped to his feet.

“You don’t get to decide that for me,” Jisung said, glaring down at Minho, his eyes glassy with tears. “I’m leaving,” he announced.

And with that, he spun around, jumped over the fence, and began the trudge back home. Shoveling his cold hands in his pockets and wishing they were covered with the warmth of a certain other, he tried to forget the flash of regret he saw in the other boy’s eyes right before he turned away, not sure what it could mean.

*

Jisung had been avoiding the meadow for several days after he and Minho had last fought. He continued sulking around his parents and his friends until Felix had finally slammed his hand down and told him to go visit Minho. Seeing the normally cheery boy so exasperated shocked Jisung into acquiescing to his wish.

As he walked towards the meadow, Jisung admitted to himself that he had, in fact, missed the other boy quite a bit. It was due to his pride and embarrassment at his outburst that kept him from facing Minho. Not only that, but Minho’s ready decision to let Jisung leave had flared his anxiety of unreciprocated affection. If their entire relationship had just turned out to be Jisung throwing himself onto Minho one-sidedly…

Jisung couldn’t let himself dwell on that thought for too long.

He was attempting to figure out how best to apologize for his absence as he climbed over the fence, but was startled out of his thoughts by Minho’s voice.

“Jisung.”

Jisung spun around towards the voice, a wealth of apologies ready to spill from his lips, expecting Minho to be angry or disappointed due to the way he called his name. But when his eyes landed on the other boy, he found neither of those emotions. 

His words dying on his lips, Jisung stared at the flat, unreadable expression on Minho’s face. Suddenly, all of his doubts and anxieties from before rushed back tenfold as he found himself, for the first time, unable to glean any emotion from Minho’s features.

Is he here to tell me to stop coming here? Oh god, what if he says he never wants to see me again? Maybe I’ve been too clingy and he’s finally had enough. Fear, apprehension, and uncertainty swirled through Jisung’s brain like a hurricane, thoughts rushing past at a hundred miles an hour.

Seemingly sensing the unease of the other boy, Minho’s face twitched, his expression settling into something that resembled a soft, albeit rather painful, smile.

“Jisungie,” he repeated, opting for the more familiar nickname this time. He held out his hand as he called his name, suddenly looking just as unsure of himself as Jisung felt.

Moving robotically, Jisung watched rather than felt his hand reach back out to Minho’s. But as soon as their fingers touched, Jisung found himself automatically relaxing into the familiar warmth. Minho must have felt the same way, as his expression softened and became less strained.

“Come on,” he said, pulling lightly at Jisung’s hand. Allowing himself to be led forward, Jisung stared down at their twined hands as they walked in silence. After a few moments, he looked up, spotted their tree in the distance, and furrowed his brow in confusion.

As was the case for most trees in winter, the peach tree had been bare for several weeks, having lost its leaves and flowers to the cold. But as they approached the tree, Jisung noted that there now seemed to be some sort of lumps attached to the empty branches, anomalies that were certainly not present the last time he had been to the meadow.

The lumps didn’t transform into shapes until they were almost next to the tree, but when they did, Jisung saw that they were roses. Dried, carefully preserved roses with their stems twined around various branches. In the cold weather under the dim winter sunlight, the bare tree was given new color and life. Jisung thought it looked beautiful.

“Did you-- are those--” Jisung breathed, thinking of all the times he had gone to the meadow after the old florist had given him another rose, happy to now have someone “special” to give it to. Though he would never admit it to Minho.

It couldn’t have been this many times, Jisung thought to himself. There looked to be over a hundred roses, all of various sizes and colors. How long had he been regularly giving Minho these roses? More importantly, how long had Minho been such a special and now integral part of his life? The time had slipped away before Jisung knew it and now he found himself unwilling to live a life apart from the other boy.

Beside him, Minho nodded.

“I kept all the roses you gave me. I told you I liked roses, didn’t I?” He laughed lightly, looking over the decorated tree. “It was getting a bit much, though. I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do with so many dried roses.” Turning to look at Jisung, he smiled gently. “But I’m glad now that they’ve found a use.”

Jisung looked at him, eyes wide. Too shocked to be embarrassed at how Minho had basically admitted he had been giving him too many roses, he stuttered,

“But… But why this-- why now?”

Minho hummed, turning towards the tree again, a hand reaching up to carefully thumb at a flower.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation from the last time you were here.” He paused, then tacked on teasingly, “You certainly gave me a lot of time to think,” he chuckled, glancing at Jisung out of the corner of his eye.

Jisung ducked his head, cheeks flushing, thinking about all the days he moped around town, avoiding the meadow. Avoiding him.

“Anyways,” Minho continued. “I thought a lot about what you said. And also why you might’ve been so upset.” Hesitating, Minho picked harder at the rose under his fingers, an outer petal eventually coming loose from the disturbance. Holding it in his palm, he studied it intensely, unable to look up at Jisung.

“I… care about you a lot, Jisungie. Ever since that day I first saw you underneath this tree, I knew that you were going to be someone special. Someone,” he sighed heavily. “special to me.” 

Growing exasperated, he waved his arms, gesturing at the tree. 

“This, all this. I don’t do-- I’m not used to this. I’m like this tree, barren and lifeless. You can put flowers on it and make it all pretty, but let’s face it. The roses are dead and you can’t hide the fact that it’s all fake.”

His hand, having clenched into a fist during his tirade, now loosened, the broken remains of the dried petal fluttering to the ground.

“But then you came into my life with your squishy cheeks and your big, innocent eyes and your heart-shaped smile, your dumb jokes, your ridiculous stories, your random games with your clearly wrong rules, and I--” Minho broke off, his eyes clenched shut and his eyebrows pulling together. 

Silence overtook the meadow and Jisung listened to the quiet rustling of the grass surrounding them as he waited for Minho to continue. Eventually he looked up, gazing at Jisung, his normally confident eyes torn.

“If I was truly honest with my feelings and let myself be selfish, I would ask you to stay here with me forever. I would beg you to not take away the only light I’ve found in my life. But I can’t. I can’t do that to you.” Staring deep into Jisung’s eyes, Minho’s eyes were pleading and desperate. “I’m terrified that you’ll throw away your life for me and one day you’ll wake up and realize that I’m fake. Just a dead, dried up rose. And you’ll have wasted your life on nothing.”

Finished, Minho let his head drop.

Despite the gravity of Minho’s words, Jisung felt his heart soar upon hearing them. He finally had enough confirmation to soothe all the anxieties he had been wrestling with. His feelings weren’t one-sided. Minho needed him as much as Jisung needed him. 

He cocked his head, trying to keep his mood down out of courtesy for Minho’s distress, but unable to keep it all covered.

“I hope you know,” he said lightly, “that it’s a little too late.” At this, Minho looked up at Jisung, his eyes narrowed in confusion, a glimmer of fear running through the deep brown. 

“It’s a little too late for me,” Jisung continued, “because I’ve already made up my mind that I want to stay by your side.” Placing his hand on Minho’s cheek, he said evenly, “And if one day I wake up and find next to me a dried rose instead of the full one that I know you are,” he shrugged, “then I’ll still count my blessings because I’d rather have a dead rose than no rose at all.”

Minho was silent for a few moments, searching Jisung’s eyes. Jisung gazed back steadily, conveying his firm resolve. Finally, Minho let his eyes drop, sighing deeply.

“Wherever you go,” he muttered, “if it’s not here, I can’t follow you.”

“Then I’m staying right here.”

*** Flashback END ***

In the cafe, Jisung was still half listening to his friend’s bickering while he thought over all the memories he’s made with Minho. Smiling softly, he swore to himself that he would never trade their time together for anything in the world.

Letting his gaze stray out the window, Jisung noticed small black flakes floating around outside, like snow. Confused, he sat up straighter in his seat, attempting to make sense of what he was seeing. After a few moments, Felix and Seungmin noticed his concentration and both turned to look at what he was staring at.

“Is it… snowing?” Jisung asked dumbly.

“It’s summer and 80 degrees outside,” Seungmin stated, equally as confused.

As they sat there, panicked shouts became audible from outside the cafe. 

“--water--”

“--have to evacuate!”

“--fire department--”

Eyes widening from the words that he was able to hear, Jisung got up quickly and ran outside, his friends close behind him.

As soon as he opened the door, Jisung was assaulted by a wave of heat, hotter than the heat of the summer days they had been experiencing. His senses immediately registered the acrid smell of soot and smoke, his eyes watering from the contaminated air. Stepping out further, Jisung looked around. There were people running outside, similar to the three of them, staring in uncomprehending awe at the sight around them. Sirens soon filled the air, coming from the direction of the fire department. A man ran up to them, coughing, his clothes and face smudged with soot.

“You boys need to get inside! A fire has broken out at the meadow beyond the west end of town and it’s spreading fast! We’re evacuating to the town hall building, it’s the furthest place from the fire right now and the safest place to be. You three should head there immediately! Call your parents once you arrive!”

Jisung blinked, slowly ingesting the man’s words. 

Fire. At the meadow. Fire. Meadow. Minho.

Minho.

Jisung felt his stomach drop as he began to run in the opposite direction that the man had told them to go. He could hear his friends call out his name behind him, but Jisung was only focused on getting to the meadow as fast as he could.

Minho. Minho . 

Minho was at the meadow. Jisung didn’t even want to think about the implications of what this fire would mean. He felt his chest constrict, an iron vise slowly tightening around his heart, and ran even faster.

As he ran closer and closer to his destination, Jisung felt the heat increase. The smell of smoke thickened and the sky had taken on an unnatural orange hue. Seeing the familiar bend of the road ahead, he heard the fire before he saw it. But once he did, he slowed to a stop, eyes wide.

The crackling of the fire echoed in his ears, mixing with the thunderous pounding of his blood. The fire before him was… massive. Just by standing there on the road, he felt the heat blister his skin. The fence marking the meadow had half collapsed, the fire raging beyond. Jisung searched the landscape in front of him for any resemblance to the place he was so familiar with, but found none. Around him, sirens blared, and he subconsciously noted the fire trucks and firefighters running to the scene.

“--sung. Jisung!”

Seungmin, Felix, and the man from before stood beside him, Seungmin currently shaking his shoulders.

“What the hell are you doing??” He shouted at him.

“Min... Minho.” Jisung managed to croak out. Like a bolt of lightning, Jisung suddenly felt a burst of energy after saying the other boy’s name. “Minho! He’s there! He can’t leave! I have to save him!” He screamed. 

He started to run towards the flames again, but was stopped by the man from before, who held him in a grip that Jisung couldn’t possibly hope to break. He still tried though, screaming and beating at the strong arms that wrapped around his waist.

“Please! Please save him!” Jisung sobbed, feeling tears stream down his face, still violently flailing against the man’s grasp. He knew that he probably looked insane right now, but nothing mattered more than the need to see Minho’s face again, safe and alive . He faintly heard his friends pleading with him to calm down, saying there was nothing they could do, that they had to get to safety right now.

Jisung’s stomach rolled, the rush of emotions and adrenaline proving to be too much as he bent over and threw up, gagging and coughing from the smoke. As his vision began to fade, he only had one word in his mind. Minho , he thought, as his world went black.

***

“...think they’ll be able to get it under control?”

As Jisung foggily stirred, he noted his pounding headache and aching body. His head was in someone’s lap and there was a blanket wrapped around his body. The person speaking, who Jisung now recognized as Felix, was talking to the person who he was lying on.

“I hope so. It was a big fire but it’s nothing our fire department can’t handle.” Mom , Jisung thought sluggishly. “We often get fires around here, since it’s so dry. But we haven’t had one this bad in a while. All we can do now is wait and hope for the best.”

Minho , Jisung thought again, as he succumbed again to the darkness.

***

Two days later

Jisung stood blankly in the middle of a blackened field, a hole in his chest, as he stared at the remains of the peach blossom tree that he had sat under with Minho only three days prior. Around him were the blackened remains of the once beautiful meadow. The flowers and grass reduced to ash, the branches of the once magnificent tree broken and destroyed. The atmosphere of the meadow, once magical and dreamlike, was now flat and gray.

The fire had only raged through the meadow. Once it had reached the fence separating it from the town, the fire had suddenly stopped. Like hitting a wall , some of the firefighters recalled. And it was how they were able to tame the blaze so quickly. It was strange, but no one knew how to explain it, so most just chalked it up to coincidence or divine protection.

Whatever it was, Jisung could care less about it. All he could think about now was what he had lost, rather than what was saved. As he walked closer to the dead tree, he saw flashes of the memories created underneath it. 

He saw Minho laughing, head thrown back, displaying Jisung’s favorite crescent-eyed smile after he had cracked a joke. 

He saw Minho smirk down at him, one side of his mouth curving up into an amused smile, his eyes shining with a playful glint after Jisung asked for a favor cutely. 

He saw Minho shocked, his mouth open in a surprised “o,” a blush painting his ears red after Jisung had plucked up his courage and tried something bold.

Reaching the tree, Jisung cautiously raised his hand and placed it on the sooty trunk. All of a sudden, it felt like his chest was ripping apart and Jisung collapsed to his knees, curling in on himself, sobs wracking through his body.

He wasn’t sure how long he had stayed there, perhaps a few hours, but he began to come to, hearing someone call his name.

“Jisung. Jisung. Are you alright?”

Jisung’s eyes snapped open, his mouth already speaking before his eyes could adjust to focus on the figure before him.

“Minho?” He asked hopefully, desperately.

The figure was silent, and as Jisung blinked, he saw the figure morph into Seungmin, with an expression of pity and sorrow as he stared down at him.

Jisung sighed, letting his gaze drop down to his lap.

“Seungmin, I--” Jisung’s voice cracked and he stopped talking, his tears running fresh.

Sitting down next to him, Seungmin let the boy cry into his shoulder as he silently patted his back. Despite his doubts surrounding the boy from the meadow, Seungmin stared down at his friend and his very real heartbreak and felt his heart break in turn.

“It'll be okay Jisung,” he whispered.

***

Mindlessly, Jisung let his feet lead him to the meadow. Pulling from muscle memory, Jisung placed one hand on the fence and hopped over it with ease. As he landed among the tall grass and flowers, he welcomed the familiar sense of peace and serenity, but something didn’t feel quite right.

“Sungie.”

Jisung whirled around, eyes landing on a beautifully familiar face.

“Minho,” Jisung choked out, a sob catching in his throat as he ran to embrace the elder boy. Jisung wasn’t sure why he was suddenly so tearful, but all he knew was that he never wanted to let go of the person he currently held in his arms.

“Sungie, Sungie,” Minho cooed, patting his head.

“Minho Minho Minho,” Jisung chanted into his chest. “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.” Don’t leave? Jisung thought to himself. Why would Minho be leaving?

And all of a sudden, it was like Jisung had been doused in cold water. Memories flooded back. Of a barren field. Of a dead tree. Of sleepless nights filled with tears.

Jisung pulled back. Looking around, he murmured, “This isn’t real.” He looked at Minho, his vision blurring through his tears. “You aren’t real.”

Minho stared at him evenly. Tilting his head, he questioned, 

“What makes you say that?”

Jisung put his hand on Minho’s cheek, the taller boy leaning his head into his touch.

“Am I dreaming right now? Are you a dream?”

Minho smiled softly.

“I’m whatever you want me to be.”

***

For the next month, Jisung visited the ruined meadow every day. Some days Seungmin and Felix accompanied him and some days he went alone. Each day, Jisung went to the remains of their tree and willed Minho to appear magically in front of him. But he never did.

As the weeks passed, Jisung began to lose hope of ever seeing Minho again outside his dreams. He wished he hadn’t tried so hard to commit the other boy to memory because he now saw him everywhere. When the florist gave him a rose, he saw Minho’s delighted smile each time he shoved the flower into his hands. When he passed the tteokbokki shop, he saw Minho poking his cheeks, saying they felt like rice cakes and attempting to bite him. He avoided the cafe like the plague, unable to keep himself from reliving that horrifying day every time he passed it.

The once comforting town now felt suffocating, everything he once loved was now just another thing he wanted to avoid. Which is why, one night at the dinner table, Jisung looked up at his parents and said,

“I’ll go.”

***

“JISUNNGGGGGGGG!!” Felix yelled, attempting to squish his head closer to Seungmin’s so he could appear on the small screen as well. Seungmin looked less than amused by the violation of his personal space, but didn’t push the other boy away.

“Hey guys,” Jisung laughed, the sight of his friends lifting up his mood. “How are you doing?”

Flopping back on his bed in his dorm room, Jisung adjusted his phone so he was looking up at his friends displayed on the screen. He saw Seungmin shrug.

“Same old, same old. You know that nothing ever changes over here,” he laughed. Suddenly the video feed went wild, the camera spinning in a way that made Jisung’s stomach squeeze. Soon the camera steadied again and Felix’s solitary head appeared on the screen.

“Jisung!” He whispered conspiratorially, “Seungmin has a boy!” Felix giggled as Jisung’s eyes widened, “He moved to town a few weeks ago and he goes to the bakery every day . And, get this, he’s a total hottie,” he said, pretending to swoon.

Jisung raised his eyebrows and the camera shook again, with both Seungmin and Felix on the screen after the video steadied.

“Oh?” Jisung smirked at his friend. “What do you have to say for yourself, Seungmin? Are you skimping me on some much needed tea?”

Seungmin shook his head quickly, rolling his eyes, but the slight blush that tinged his cheeks gave away his true feelings.

“It’s not like that,” he explained, “Hyunjin just really likes bread.”

“Yea,” Felix giggled, “not as much as he likes seeing your face though.”

Blushing harder, Seungmin poked at Felix.

“You’re one to talk. I know that you’ve been spending an awful lot of one-on-one time with that one guy from your class, what was his name again?” Seungmin pretended to think, tapping his chin, as Felix’s jaw dropped with horror. But before he could do anything, Seungmin snapped his fingers. “Aha! Changbin!”

Screeching, Felix started smacking Seungmin, his cheeks bright red. Seungmin started laughing as he lazily blocked the other boy’s attacks.

Smiling softly at his friends’ antics, he couldn’t hide the hint of jealousy that bubbled up as they talked about their budding romances. He couldn’t complain much, however. His new life at boarding school was actually quite enjoyable. Since he moved into the dorm 9 months ago, he had made plenty of new friends, gained new hobbies, and learned about a wide variety of new topics. He bonded with his roommate, Chan, during late or altogether sleepless nights as they grinded out assignments due the next day.

He was happy, and yet.

And yet there was a hole in his heart he could never quite fill. He could always feel it, right underneath the surface, but most of the time he chose to ignore it. However, in times like this, Jisung could feel the surface straining, risking the exposure of the flood of emotions that he was trying to avoid. Swallowing, Jisung mentally pushed down the budding feelings, shutting them down with a lock and throwing away the key.

“Oh Jisung!” Brought back to the present by Felix’s voice, Jisung refocused on the two boys on the screen. “You’re coming back for the summer, right?”

Jisung nodded. “Yea, my flight’s in two weeks.”

“Great!” Felix grinned, “If you weren’t already ridiculously excited just by the prospect of seeing your two bestest friends in the world again, we have a surprise for you!” 

“A surprise?” Jisung asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Yep, a surprise. Now don’t ask for any more details because we’re not gonna spill anything,” Seungmin cut in, looking at Jisung knowingly.

Despite his curiosity, Jisung decided not to press the matter further, something about the glance shared between Seungmin and Felix that made his stomach twist in nervousness and excitement.

Like Felix said, he was indeed excited to see his friends, but with the addition of the recent news, all of the sudden the two weeks before his return home couldn’t pass quickly enough.

***

“Are you guys kidnapping me? Are the police going to find my dead body in a ditch in a few days?” Jisung rambled, as he was led forward by his two friends, his own sight obscured by a blindfold.

“Shut up, we’ll be there soon,” Seungmin said, unamused.

“We wanted this to be as big of a surprise as possible!” Felix said excitedly.

Unfortunately for his two friends, all of their hard work blindfolding and spinning him around to keep him from recognizing his surroundings was all for naught, since as soon as his foot stepped off the side of the road, Jisung knew exactly where his friends had led him.

His breath catching in his throat, Jisung felt his heart speed up and his hopes irrationally surged. No . He told himself, don’t get your hopes up . Trying desperately to tame his feelings, he settled for just not thinking about what kind of surprise Seungmin and Felix could possibly have for him at the meadow.

“We’re here!” Felix announced.

Brought to a stop, he took a deep breath as he felt the blindfold loosen. As light filled his eyes, Jisung squinted, his hand rising to block the sun from his face. His eyes adjusted quickly, however, and Jisung gasped at the sight that was before him.

The last time he stood here, the burnt and broken fence hung listlessly, guarding a blackened field of ash and soot. But now in front of him stood a strong wooden fence, clearly new, but the same wood and style as it once was. Allowing his gaze to raise beyond the fence, Jisung felt tears prick behind his eyes as he watched the lush green grass and wildflowers sway in the wind. 

There were differences, for sure. The fence wasn’t as worn, the grass was shorter than before, perhaps only reaching up to his lower thighs, and the color was much greener, much fresher. It was different, but it was still Minho’s meadow. And it was alive. A sight that Jisung thought he would never see again.

Seungmin and Felix allowed Jisung to take in the sight for a few minutes, standing in silence. But then Seungmin came and touched his elbow, saying softly,

“Come on, there’s more to your surprise.”

They led him to the fence, the three of them cautiously climbing over and into the grass beyond.

Standing in the newly grown meadow, Jisung breathed in deeply. He felt the faint atmosphere of serene dreams that he had missed so dearly, but the familiar sense was covered with a layer of something new, something foreign. 

Scanning the meadow, his eyes automatically looked to the place the peach blossom tree once stood. The tears that he had been holding back finally spilled over as Jisung stared at the baby peach blossom tree that stood there, proud and strong, its blooming pink flowers twirling softly in the breeze.

“We replanted it,” Felix said hesitantly, as the two of them followed Jisung towards the tree, the latter walking as if held in a trance. “We knew how much this meadow and this tree meant to you, so we thought we’d try to restore it. The meadow grew back mostly by itself, but we did have to find another peach blossom tree,” Felix started to ramble. “I know it’s not the same as before, but I guess we thought that this would maybe still comfort you a little?”

Standing by the blossom tree, Jisung reached out to touch one of the branches. The tree was still small, its height matching his own, but its beauty matching its predecessor. Watching as a pink petal fluttered into his palm, he choked out,

“Thank you. Thank you guys so much.” Jisung couldn’t explain the rush of emotions that was coursing through him at that moment; he felt deep sadness, nostalgia, relief, and ...hope? But he definitely recognized the genuine thankfulness he had towards his friends and the sincerity and thoughtfulness of their actions.

The two of them hugged him, one on each side.

“We just want you to be happy,” Seungmin whispered.

They stayed like this for a few minutes; the three of them relaxing in the serene atmosphere of the meadow. Eventually they pulled away, Seungmin saying,

“We’ll leave you alone here to process. If you need anything, just call.”

Then just like that, Jisung was alone.

Fiddling with the petal in his palm, he warred an internal debate with himself. He didn’t want to check, didn’t want to let himself hope just to have it be destroyed, but at the same time…

At the same time. 

There was really no debate to be had.

Looking up at the tree, Jisung studied its small branches, its softly waving flowers, and let out a small whisper.

“Minho?”

His only response was the shuffling of grass moving with the light summer breeze.

***

3 years later

Feeling the warm sun of the beginning of summer beat down on him, Jisung approached the familiar fence for the first time in three years. In that time, not only had he graduated and finished school, but the once newly constructed fence had become much more worn. Jisung could almost imagine it to be the same one he had hopped over so many times in the past.

Jumping into the meadow, he felt the atmosphere shift. It was serene, peaceful, almost dreamlike. The grass and wildflowers around him reached his waist and he reached out to run his hands through them, enjoying their soft touch against his bare skin.

He stood there for a few moments, soaking it in, before opening his eyes and walking towards the now fully grown peach blossom tree. Its pink flowers in full bloom, even the slightest breeze led to a shower of pink and white petals swirling around the tree.

Entranced by the beautiful sight, Jisung was beside the tree before he knew it. Stepping below its canopy, he sat down, leaning back against the trunk.

As he watched the dance of the flowers and petals around him, Jisung let his eyes slip shut once again, relaxing in the peace and serenity of the meadow.

It had only been a few moments before he was interrupted with the sound of a familiar voice.

“You’re in my spot.”