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Samuel was woken by the pitter-patter of little footsteps. As he drowsily pushed himself up into a sitting position, a young face peered into the doorway, hesitating, before coming the rest of the way in.
In the darkness and his half-asleep state, Samuel saw the unruly brown hair and dark eyes and almost called the boy Buckley. But Buckley was gone, and hadn’t been five in a long time—this was the son Buckley and his wife had left behind. “What is it, Gary? Should I check your closet for monsters again?”
Gary shook his head. “Can I…” He hesitated, uncharacteristically timid. “… sleep with you tonight?”
How could Samuel ever say no to that face? “Of course, Gary. Come here.”
Gary started to clamber onto the bed and Samuel pulled him the rest of the way up, holding him close. He was so little—bigger than Delia’s boy despite being three months younger, but still so very small. He hadn’t been eating much since they’d lost his parents, and it hurt to see someone so young grieving so hard.
Gary curled into Samuel’s side with a soft little sigh. Samuel ran a hand through Gary’s baby-soft hair, lightly scratching the boy’s scalp like he was petting a pokémon, and heard a barely audible hum of contentment.
Soon enough, Gary was sound asleep, his little chest rising and falling in time with his deep, steady breathing.
They were going to be okay.
Gary had seemed mostly himself when he’d first come home, and Samuel had initially thought all that was on his mind was the Indigo Plateau Conference coming up.
But when Samuel heard footsteps outside his bedroom door that night, he wasn’t surprised. He pushed himself up and tried to look awake, not wanting Gary to peek into the doorway and think he was asleep.
No footsteps, no sight of Gary’s face, like he was hesitating.
Then Samuel heard a small, choked noise—a stifled sob.
“Gary,” he said gently. “I know you’re out there. Come on in.”
Seemingly out of habit, Gary peeked into the doorway before coming the rest of the way in. He didn’t need help getting onto the mattress, and it dipped slightly under his weight when he sat there. He’d grown over the years, but he was still so small. Still a child.
“What’s wrong, Gary?” Samuel rested a hand on Gary’s back and felt a flash of alarm when he flinched. He’d never done that before, except when high fevers made him fussy and sensitive to touch. “Are you feeling all right?”
“I’m fine,” Gary said, and Samuel knew he was lying. “I just couldn’t sleep, and I… I didn’t want to be alone.”
There it was. They’d had a good track record on nightmares these past couple years—he’d been sleeping in his own bed through most nights since he was seven—but there were still going to be rough nights. And no matter how proud and stubborn he was, Gary had never liked being alone on nights like that.
“Do you want to talk about what’s keeping you awake?”
Gary shook his head.
“Then how about I make you some tea that’ll help you sleep?”
Gary hesitated. “You don’t have to.”
“You’re my grandson, Gary,” Samuel said. “I won’t be able to rest until you’re taken care of.”
Gary blinked, then nodded. “I’d like that.”
They walked to the kitchen and while Samuel set about making the tea, Gary paced for a bit, sat on the floor for a while, and then wandered off.
Samuel finished the tea and found Gary sitting on the couch, pencil and paper in hand, his tongue sticking out like it did when he was in deep concentration.
He sat beside Gary, whose focus still didn’t break. Gary looked tense, and there was a haunted look in his eyes. No child’s eyes should look like that; what had done that to Samuel’s bright, confident grandson?
“Gary…”
“Grandpa,” Gary said suddenly, desperately. “Have you ever seen a pokémon that looked like this?”
He held up a drawing and Samuel studied it. It was… a menacing sight, but not a familiar one. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Gary, I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
The way Gary's face fell broke Samuel’s heart. Gary sighed. “Figures. The pokédex didn’t recognize it either.”
“Is that what’s been bothering you?”
Gary answered with a small, almost imperceptible nod.
“Encountering a pokémon like that… it must have been scary.” Gary acted tough, but he was still just a boy. Samuel didn’t want to think about how scared he must have been.
“I’m not—”
“Don’t try to tell me you’re not scared of anything,” Samuel said with fond exasperation. “It was only a couple years ago that I was checking your closet and under your bed for monsters, don’t think I’m getting forgetful in my old age just yet.”
Gary looked away, cheeks turning red. Samuel rested a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay to be scared, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Gary replied, distractedly picking at his nails.
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready, but… what happened? It didn't hurt you, did it?”
Gary froze, paling, and then buried his face in Samuel’s shoulder. He was trembling.
Samuel pulled Gary close to his chest, stroking Gary's back in rhythmic, comforting circles. “Shh,” he soothed. “Just breathe, you’re okay. You’re safe, I’ve got you. Deep breaths. Breathe with me, can you do that?”
He took a deep breath, felt Gary shakily match it. The next breath seemed less shaky, less of a struggle. Gary stopped trembling, but it took several more moments, several more breaths, before he pulled away.
“Better?” Samuel asked gently.
“A little.”
“Well, it’s a start.” Samuel handed him the cup of tea. “You should drink this while it’s warm. It’ll help you relax.”
Gary took it. “Thanks, for you know… everything. I know how much trouble I can be.”
“Gary,” Samuel chided, taking Gary’s hand. “You’re never going to be too much trouble for me, do you understand that? You’re my grandson and I love you more than anything in the whole world.”
That earned him a hint of a smile. “More than anything? In the whole world?”
Samuel nodded. “That’s right. Never forget that, okay?”
Gary gave a small nod and sipped his tea, quiet but seemingly calmer.
Samuel watched him, relieved. There were going to be difficult nights, but they were going to be okay. Gary was going to be okay—as long as there was breath in his body, Samuel would make sure of it.
Gary rested his head against Samuel’s shoulder. Samuel ran a hand through Gary’s hair, just like he had when his grandson was smaller.
“Hey, I’m gonna fall asleep here if you keep that up,” Gary said, a weak attempt at protest.
“Good.” It was definitely better than not being able to sleep at all.
Despite his protest, Gary’s eyes closed, and relief washed over Samuel at seeing him finally relaxed and content.
Samuel set Gary’s drawing aside. If he ever found out anything about that mysterious pokémon, his grandson would be the first to know, but for now what Gary needed was this—the comfort and security to rest.
“Gary?”
For a moment it seemed like Gary was asleep, but then he looked up with half-lidded eyes and softly replied, “Yeah?”
“Never stop coming to me when something’s bothering you, okay? I’d take a thousand nights like this over one where you bear your pain alone.”
“Mmhmm,” Gary said, eyes closing again.
For now, that was enough.
Sometimes Samuel wished Gary would come home or at least call a little more often, but at fifteen, Gary was growing up—or at least trying to—and trying to be more and more independent was part of that. And Professor Rowan had been keeping him busy, as he often complained about when he did find time to call, despite how clearly he loved the work.
When he did come home, it was always to a warm welcome.
He was a little thin, clearly forgetting to eat sometimes amidst his work, but otherwise he looked well, and he talked enthusiastically about the things he’d learned and the people and pokémon he’d met. Still, Samuel hadn’t missed the signs there was something bothering him.
Sure enough, he heard footsteps that night. Gary peeked in, the way he always had, before coming the rest of the way in. His loyal umbreon followed, yellow rings and crimson eyes glowing in the darkness.
It had been a long time since they’d done this. “Come here, Gary. What’s on your mind?”
Gary sat on the bed and Umbreon lightly hopped up beside him. After a moment’s pause and a nudge from Umbreon, Gary softly said, “He broke up with me.”
Samuel picked up the cue to not say the name. “Oh, Gary…”
“I don’t know what happened,” he said, sounding utterly lost. “I thought things were going fine. I thought I was doing everything right.”
He rubbed at his eyes, sniffling.
Of course. Regardless of everything he’d achieved and experienced, Gary was still only fifteen. And this kind of heartbreak was part of being fifteen.
“Shh, shh.” Though they were almost the same height now, Samuel gathered Gary up in his arms the same way he had when his grandson was five, feeling Gary hold onto him back just as readily. “Sometimes relationships end, Gary. And it doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong, or even that they did, sometimes it just doesn’t work out.”
Gary mumbled something into Samuel’s shoulder.
“You’re young, you’ll have that again and you’ll have even better, you know that? You’re a wonderful young man, Gary. There are plenty of people who will love you the same way you love them.”
“It still hurts.” Gary’s voice shook, and Samuel felt dampness on his shoulder. This was the hardest part of raising a child—sometimes there was nothing he could do to take the pain away.
“I know,” Samuel murmured, running a hand through Gary’s hair. “It’s okay to hurt. Breakups are hard.”
All Samuel could do was let Gary cry it out and try to comfort him, stroking his back with one hand and his hair with the other.
Eventually the crying eased to whimpering, then to sniffling and the occasional hiccup. Gary still didn’t move.
“Pathetic, aren’t I?” Gary said. “Crying over some stupid boy after everything I’ve gotten through.”
“You’re a lot of things, Gary, but ‘pathetic’ isn’t one of them.” Samuel refused to let Gary beat himself up like that. “It’s not a weakness to have feelings.”
Gary blinked up at him, cheeks still damp with tears, and heaved a weary sigh. “I’m sorry I’m keeping you up for this.”
“Don’t be.” Samuel reached for a blanket to dry Gary’s tears with, wrapping it around him after. “I’ve already told you, I’m here for you no matter what.”
He felt Gary relax. He ran a hand through Gary’s hair and heard a sigh that sounded less sad, almost content.
“Thank you,” Gary whispered.
He was quiet after that, and Samuel realized he’d fallen asleep.
There was no need to wake him. Hopefully he wouldn’t be too embarrassed when he woke up in the morning, but if he was… he’d be fine.