Chapter Text
It was a chilly morning at Cheyenne Mountain. Captain Samantha Carter was sitting in her lab, studying an artifact that SG-2 had brought back from one of their previous missions. It was a round stony thing. She had been examining it for a few evenings now. It gave off weak energy readings, but Sam couldn't figure out what it was supposed to do, or how to turn it on or off. She twirled it around in her fingers; noticing something glimmering on the side, she put it up to her eyes. She couldn't make out the detail for it was so small, so she put it up under a lamp and looked at it through a magnifying glass. But It was gone. Strange, she sighed and put the stone back on the table. She assured herself that she would get back to it later. It wasn't that anybody was pressuring her into figuring it out, it was more like she was demanding it of herself. In her first days on the SG-1, it would have been to prove herself. Now it was more about concentrating on something else than the endless swirl of thoughts her mind had made a habit of producing over the last weeks. She looked at the table in the middle of her lab, many more objects lay there, a fine layer of dust covered some of them. Sam sighed as she was once again reminded that labs didn't usually have windows. Especially when they were underground like hers. The air system was good, but it still didn't quite measure up to real fresh air.
Sam zipped up her jacket as she walked out of the entrance tunnel of the Cheyenne Mountain Complex. It was rather chilly outside today, but she had decided that a short stroll would help clear her mind. Passing by she nodded at the two airmen by the exit and said: "Just going to get some fresh air."
During the walk, she thought about everything that had happened to her in the last few months. Since their first mission on Abydos, they had visited several more worlds. Most of them had human cultures on them, presumably, their ancestors were likewise from Earth, abducted by the Goa'uld, like those of the Abydonians.
She still couldn't quite believe that this was real. That she was really going into space, something she had dreamed of since she was a kid. She had to smile as the thought brought back memories of looking at stars at night, her father teaching her how to use the telescope... And now here she was, decades later, a grown woman, exploring strange new worlds. Meeting new civilizations and making new friends. Though not all the civilizations were friendly at first.
Her mind wandered to a mission that happened several weeks ago. The natives had been angered by her presence, simply because she was a woman. And their customs dictated that a woman couldn't simply travel across their land in "man's clothing" and speak to whomever she chose to. What a medieval mindset, she thought to herself then. But unfortunately, it was a very real reality on that world. Most tribes on that planet treated women as men's property. Sam recalled that awfully tight blue dress that she was forced to wear. The color was fabulous, sure, but the overall design was simply very hard to freely move in; not to mention the heavy headdress.
It wasn't just through her airforce training that Sam was accustomed to robust clothes that she could move and fight in, even as a kid she often preferred to wear some of her brother's older clothes instead of the girly stuff they sold at the store. As an adult, she learned that she must sometimes wear a skirt and heels to be respected as a woman, but she never liked it. She felt most comfortable wearing her SG-1 uniform. It had nice colors, came in a blue and green version, accompanied by black. Simple and elegant. And what was more, it carried the implication that she belonged to a team. That she had someone who had her back. In the end, they even ended up changing the laws in that region, but it still wasn't a mission she liked to remember that often. Though kicking that chief's butt during their life-death knife duel sure felt good. She grinned to herself.
But speaking of remembering past missions, there was one that she just couldn't get out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. It had happened just a week ago. They visited P3X-797, the planet had a special kind of virus that made some of the natives behave like cavemen and gradually began infecting the SGC personnel as well. Under its influence, she, Samantha, had tried to seduce her commanding officer, Colonel Jack O'Neill. She knew she wasn't exactly in her right mind then and she also heard of several other similarly embarrassing incidents amongst the rest of the SGC staff. So perhaps the incident alone wasn't that much of a problem, but the vividness of the memory, the zeal with which it continued to preoccupy her thoughts, and the lingering sensual impressions as well as emotions that it awoke in her.
She still felt awkward whenever she saw Colonel O'Neill which led to her spending as little time around him as possible. She instead opted to spend all her time in her lab - alone, where she would drown herself in work in an attempt to keep her mind too busy to return to that moment again. Her tactic had about 50% effectiveness. Her teammates Daniel and Tealc had asked her several times to have lunch with them, but she always insisted that she was too busy and would just grab a little snack later. She had nothing against the two, but when they had lunch, Colonel O'Neill usually joined them as well. She knew for a fact that he remembered her behavior, he had hinted at it playfully.
Sam didn't know how else to deal with the situation so she decided to keep herself as busy as possible until those impressions, feelings, whatever it was - went away. When they weren't so fresh anymore. She had worked hard to get to where she was now and she couldn't let this small incident compromise her performance. She couldn't risk her team position by having improper feelings for her commanding officer. But innerly she worried a little whether she wasn't damaging the relationship to her teammates further by avoiding them like this. Dr. Fraiser had attempted to inquire about how she was doing after those events. And though she and Janet were slowly becoming friends, Sam didn't yet feel like opening up to her about such personal matters.
She did end up discussing it a bit with Daniel, who had thoughtfully inquired about her well-being. Daniel was a good friend and sometimes it was refreshing having someone around who didn't think in the traditional military manner. While anyone else would have probably asked her whether these feelings were affecting her job, Daniel instead asked what she was feeling and whether she liked it or not. She had been so taken aback by that approach, that she didn't know what to answer. The good friend he was, Daniel didn't pressure her into giving him any sort of reply and instead suggested she "think about it a little". So here she was, thinking about it, and honestly, her head was starting to hurt.
"Carter." She had been so consumed by her thoughts that she did not hear the footsteps approaching her, she stopped in her tracks and turned to see who had so melodically called her out by her name. Across the lawn, the figure of Colonel Jack O'Neill strode purposefully in her direction.
'Speak of the devil' she thought to herself.
TO BE CONTINUED...