Work Text:
A Familiar New Dream.
Problem: You have been plagued by nightmares for what seems like forever. Shadowy figures from your past manifest as bright icons, blinding you, not letting you sleep. There is a new presence among them, a light of the comforting shade of orange. You want to reach this figure but you’re afraid. Afraid to leave your comfortable and familiar misery. It’s always safer than the unknown. The presence seems to understand. It reaches towards you and patiently waits.
YOU - Through the MC’s window Jamrock plays in front of your eyes like a strangely familiar slideshow. It’s dim. Lightened up only by street lamps. It’s getting dark so early these days. This and your partner’s smooth as butter driving are putting you into a lulling trance. Leaving you a moment to deflate and mull things over.
LOGIC - How the Lieutenant Kitsuragi, after the eventful Martinaise case, decided to be your partner you’ll never fully comprehend.
ESPRIT DE CORPS – You are, nevertheless, grateful. There are no other officers you would rather have by your side and none of the others would really want to be by it anymore. There was a time that your reputation alone would grant you a choice of partners. At the end only the most persistent lingered. Somehow you ended up with the one you would have chosen anyway, the one you trust the most.
KIM KITSURAGI - You look at the lieutenant. His profile lit in unsteady rhythm of the passing lights. He’s focused on the road. Brows creased just a little, bringing up the lines on his forehead.
EMPATHY - You know him well enough to see he is frustrated by the dense traffic. He really just wants to let loose and probably put on this station that he likes but still pretends not to.
YOU - You look back to the window and smile to yourself recalling his reaction when you discovered that. It’s a side of him you really want to learn more about.
ENCYCLOPEDIA - You have been gathering all that knowledge of Kim quite diligently.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - Every little fact you manage to mine you treat like something precious. A shiny nugget that the restlessly blazing furnace of your mind will hopefully forge into something useful… or maybe something beautiful.
ESPRIT DE CORPS - You gel together well. Miraculously, he has the patience for you and works well within your chaotic methods. You in turn let yourself be reeled back in by him in your less sensible moments.
COURPIS KINEEMA – You feel more comfortable in the passenger seat then you expected. You trust his ability. You really trust him and you really enjoy those rides together.
EMPATHY – So does he. He doesn't mind having to drive you home. He likes sitting in his MC and that way he can spend a few guilt-free moments more driving it. He prefers to leave the work a bit later, when the traffic is lighter but this is fine too. He likes spending time with you like this.
YOU – There’s a pleasant warmth filling your lungs at that thought. You really want it to be true.
SAVOIR FAIRE – How did a guy like you made such a cool friend? Keep yourself together. Try to not look too desperate for his attention.
You want him to think you might be a bit cool too.
AUTHORITY - You want him to listen to you.
EMPATHY - You want him to understand you.
SUGGESTION - You want him to like you.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - You want him.
REACTION SPEED - Wait….
…
...
...
...what?
VOLITION – Take a deep breath. Don’t panic but… What?
RHETORIC - No. That makes sense, actually.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY - Of course it does! You can’t expect to have a hot piece of ass next to our man every day and not have the mind wonder.
SUGGESTION – It’s more then just that. You have been thinking about your partner in a not-so-professional way a lot lately. About his eyes. The trim of his hair. The way his clothes frame his figure.
CONCEPTUALIZATION - You have been hunting that rare and elusive smile.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Oh, and I know you’ve been checking out that ass!
KIM KITSURAGI - “What is it Harry?” His voice calls you back from you head.
YOU – “Huh? What is what? I wasn't doing anything!”
COMPOSURE - …
DRAMA – Sorry to say it, sire but that in no way resembled a casual human reaction.
KIM KITSURAGI – He raises an eyebrow. “I know. That's precisely why I asked you. Usually you're… less quiet." He looks through the window at your side almost casually. “We’ve been parked under your house for a moment now.”
SAVOIR FAIRE - Smooth man, smooth… You wanted him to think you’re cool.
KIM KITSURAGI - He exhales audibly and prepares himself for something he usually avoids. He pries a little into your personal affairs. “You seem lost. Is there something wrong?”
You – “NO!”
PERCEPTION - Your answer was a bit to loud.
REACTION SPEED - It was also way too fast!
DRAMA – You could do better, my liege.
REACTION SPEED - Quickly, think of something!
YOU - “I mean… nothing out of ordinary. You know, the job. I’m… I’m just tired.”
EMPATHY - He looks at you, clearly concerned. He tries not to but he worries about you. More then he would care to admit. More then he would usually allow himself to.
His eyes narrow as he tries to read you. He’s not sure what course of action would be best for you. He wonders whether he should pursue the line of questioning or let it go.
ESPRIT DE CORPS – Interrogation is one of the tools of your trade. It’s disconcerting being at a receiving end of this treatment. Especially if you do have something to hide.
AUTHORITY - Give him nothing! Tell him to read you your rights if he wants a confession. You’re not going out without a fight!
ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Yeah! Do that and maybe he’ll have to cuff you!
COMPOSURE – You can’t gather one coherent helpful thought. Nothing in your head seems to work together. Suddenly Kim’s face is a lot more distracting. You feel exposed and vulnerable. Right now you don’t want him to understand you all that well.
KIM KITSURAGI- “Harry?” You can't avoid thinking about your own name sweet on his lips. The pleasant warm tones of his voice seem to caress the familiar sounds. “Harry?” He repeats louder and a bit harsher. It doesn't sound any worse to you. He leans trying to meet your eyes as you have been actively avoiding looking straight at him.
HALF LIGHT- An electric current runs up and down your spine. The inside of your mouth feels dry. Your hands are starting to sweat. The only question is: Fight of flight?
YOU - “I… should go. Thanks for the ride, man!” You hastily leave the vehicle. “See you tomorrow.” you say fast, not giving him any place to answer and you disappear behind your apartment's door. When finally alone you take a deep breath.
That didn’t sound confident or natural at all. “Thanks for the ride, man!” You mimic your own panicked voice. “See you tomorrow.” You add in hushed tone.
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT – There’s something seriously wrong here. Your notably strong legs seem to give out under you. You’re wobbly and unstable. Get a grip!
PAIN THRESHOLD – Your chest feels dangerously tight.
ENDURANCE – You’re unsure how much more your abused old body can take.
HALF LIGHT – You’re dreading tomorrow already
COMPOSURE - You’re nowhere near ready to confront Kim on these feelings.
ELECTROCHEMISTRY – You can’t wait to see him again.
INLAND EMPIRE – Chances are you won’t even have to wait that long. You might just see him tonight in your dreams.
Brace yourself for another restless night.
Solution: That night in your dream you see the figure more clearly. It should have been obvious who it was but denial can be a powerful thing. Before you can start to drown in the sea of overwhelming white he gives you a hand. He’s just bright enough to be pleasant and warm. It shields you from the harsh world of your own thoughts, gently demanding your focus. You offer him your hand and with it you give everything you are, if he will have it. His grip is firm and reassuring and it pulls you close. There is no turning back from this awareness. You’re not letting yourself forget.