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It’s only as he’s in the middle of paying the somewhat shady Noctilucous Jade vendor a frankly ridiculous sum of mora for several hunks of the rare mineral, that Childe finally wonders what Zhongli actually does with all the many precious gems Childe had bought him. He does wear jewelry and Childe wouldn’t be surprised if Zhongli --being the cultured man of many hobbies that he is-- had made it himself. That would almost make sense, but there was a problem with that theory; he never seemed to switch out any of his old accessories for new ones, so he couldn’t have been using the gems for jewelry making. Perhaps, he was simply something of a collector with no other use for his jewels. As boring an answer as that may be, it certainly seemed to be the most logical conclusion.
While Childe is lost in thought, the gem vendor wraps the three pieces of Noctilucous Jade in rags and gently deposits the precious parcels into an inconspicuous cloth bag, which he hands to Childe, who then hands it to Zhongli.
“I must again thank you for covering my purchase,” the funeral parlor consultant says with a slight, almost sheepish smile.
“It’s no problem,” Childe assures him, despite the fact, that it is actually, kind of a problem. He’s very wealthy but even so, his mother had urged him recently to at least try to be more frugal, and paying for Zhongli’s extravagant purchases is the exact opposite of frugal. “Although, you should probably start trying a little bit harder to remember your wallet. I’m not going to be around to pay for your extravagant purchases forever,” he warns with a playful shake of his finger at the older man.
Zhongli chuckles softly but there’s a hint of melancholy to his smile. “No, I suppose you won’t be,” he agrees and he sounds oddly wistful for reasons Childe cannot begin to place.
Childe doesn’t respond right away, because he’s suddenly struck by the way his companion looks in the waning daylight. Zhongli makes quite the regal sight, illuminated in the setting Liyuen sun, amber eyes catching the light in such a way as to where they almost seem to glow. He looks oddly ethereal in the light of dusk and seems far too out of place amongst the mundane hustle and bustle of the Liyue docks.
After a few seconds, he manages to snap himself out of his daze. “Ah, it’s getting pretty late,” he notes, tilting his head up to glance at the pink-violet evening sky. “What are you thinking for dinner?” he asks, already having accepted that wherever they go, he will end up paying. Childe can count the number of times Zhongli has actually remembered his wallet on one hand. It is the very literal price one pays for the funeral parlor consultant’s time.
Zhongli hums, raising a gloved hand to his chin in a thoughtful pose. “We have been eating at the Pavillion quite a bit as of late,” there is a pause and Childe finds himself hoping that Zhongli decides he’s in the mood for something more affordable, for the sake of his mother’s peace of mind. “A change of scenery is long overdue. You can continue with your chopstick practice at Wanmin,” says Zhongli decisively, and Childe barely holds back a sigh of relief.
“I’ve mastered many difficult and arduous tools, I will get a handle on chopsticks,” he insists boastfully, although truthfully, he doubts if he’ll ever be as comfortable with chopsticks as he is with the good old fork and knife combo.
The walk from the docks to Wanmin is fairly uneventful, aside from when a stall selling handmade Rex Lapis merchandise catches Zhongli’s eye and Childe ends up paying for a handmade Rex Lapis plushie that is almost sacrilegiously cute.
“I didn’t know plushies were your thing,” Childe comments mildly as they once more continue on their journey after the brief interruption. They very much don’t fit his image, it’s a little charming, Childe decides.
“They aren’t really, although this one is exceptionally well-crafted. The accuracy and attention to detail are truly commendable,” Zhongli explains, raising the plushie to carefully examine it before returning it to the bag it came in. “I simply know someone who collects such merchandise and thought it would make a thoughtful gift.” There’s a slight smile on his face and an almost mischievous glimmer in his amber eyes as if he’s in on a joke that Childe isn’t. It’s not exactly an uncommon expression for him, honestly, there are many times where Childe feels as if Zhongli is privy to some information he’s lacking. It can be a bit frustrating at times, but how otherwise enjoyable his time spent with the funeral parlor consultant outweighs that small negative.
When they finally reach their destination, the sun has almost disappeared from the sky and the light of dusk is slowly fading. Chef Mao sees them coming and gives them a friendly wave. A good deal of the local restaurant owners are openly (and rightfully) disdainful or mistrustful of him, he appreciates the genuine hospitality shown to him here. It would truly be a pity if Chef Mao or his daughter got caught in the crossfire of his mission here. Hopefully, it won’t have to come to that.
“Good evening!” Chef Mao greets cheerfully as they walk up to the restaurant. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you two,” he notes conversationally. “Anyways, what can I get you two? Xiangling’s just returned with fresh ingredients so I hope you’re ready for a treat.”
They exchange a few more pleasantries before Childe orders himself some black-back perch stew and after a long few seconds of consideration, Zhongli decides on a plate jueyun chili chicken for himself.
After they both order, they step inside the small building of the restaurant and take their seats at the one table in the establishment.
“Mr. Childe, Mr. Zhongli! It’s great to see you!” Xiangling greets when she looks up from where she had been hunched over the stove. “Oh, Mr. Zhongli! I tried your suggestion for my salt and pepper tofu and you were so right! I didn’t think the taste would change much but it really did!” she rambles and Childe finds himself endeared by her enthusiasm, it reminds him a bit of the way Teucer gets when talking about his newest toy.
Zhongli nods approvingly at her and a slight smile graces his face. “I am glad you found my advice useful. I hope to sample the new and improved dish next time,” he compliments and Xiangling lights up before the scent of something beginning to burn sends her scurrying back to the unattended oven.
It will take a while for their meals to be done, of course, Childe is prepared to spend that time listening to Zhongli lecture him on something or the other while he attempts once again to master the delicate art of chopsticking. However, before that can happen, Zhongli pulls out the cloth sack of gems and places it on the table.
“Our meals will not be done for a bit. I am, however, feeling a bit peckish, do you mind if I partake in a light appetizer?” he asks and Childe does not bother to hide the naked confusion on his face. Did Zhongli bring something from home, or did he somehow buy something while Childe wasn’t looking?
He shrugs. “Go ahead,” he says, brushing away his confusion. It’s not really his business where Zhongli got his appetizer, but then Zhongli removes a piece of Noctilucous Jade from the bag, holds it up to the light to appreciate the quality, and then, bafflingly brings the grape-sized gemstone to his lips, pops it into his mouth and bites down.
Childe’s brain short-circuits as the horrifically, teeth-shatteringly loud crunch echoes throughout the restaurant, drawing everyone’s attention to the composed, remarkably well-dressed man who just ate a priceless piece of Noctilucous Jade. The man in question, while looking somewhat sheepish, chews again and the crunch is no less painful the second time.
He finally swallows and clears his throat awkwardly as Childe openly gawks at him.
Before Childe can summon up the braincells to try and say anything, Xiangling (whose attention was captured by The Crunch) speaks up instead. “Wow! I had no idea Noctilucous Jade was edible!”
“It’s not,” Childe chokes out incredulously.
“Ah,” Zhongli finally speaks up, looking properly embarrassed for the first time Childe’s ever witnessed. “I believe I’ve committed something of a ‘faux pas’, as they would say in Fontaine,” which is a really funny way to describe eating an inedible gemstone worth several thousand mora in the middle of a restaurant in front of an adventurous and overly impressionable chef.
Suddenly, something clicks in Childe’s head. He abruptly stands up, slaps his hands on the table, and stares Zhongli dead in the eyes. “Is this what you’ve been doing with all the Noctilucous Jade and Cor Lapis I’ve been buying you!? Eating it!?” he asks, bordering on hysterical.
“...Not all of it,” Zhongli admits, looking rather uncharacteristically like a kicked puppy. Childe isn’t sure whether he wants to laugh or cry. All that mora is gone, all because Zhongli has the most bizarre and expensive taste in snack food.
He sighs, sinking back into his seat. “You know, a normal person wouldn’t still be in possession of all of their teeth after biting into a piece of Noctilucous Jade,” he notes, most of the initial shock and incredulity having already worn off.
“They would not,” Zhongli agrees and Childe can tell that that’s all he will get out of him. The realization that the man he has been spending the past several weeks with might not be completely human somehow is less shocking than seeing him crunch on a shiny rock was.
Their actual food arrives shortly after.
“So, obviously it would be impossible to include whole gemstones in a dish, but, I was thinking what if I used Noctilucous Jade shavings!” Xiangling explains enthusiastically as she slides Childe his stew and Zhongli his chicken.
“Ah, I don’t think most people would share Zhongli’s… eccentric taste in food,” Childe says with a strained chuckle, although he already knows deep down that trying to convince Xiangling not to incorporate gemstones into her cooking is a lost cause.
“I do not think it would taste like anything, to a human, that is,” Zhongli muses and Childe gives him a look.
The rest of the meal is shared in partially companionable, partially awkward silence. At the end of their outing, when he and Zhongli part ways, Childe is left feeling more than a little bit stupid as he walks back to the house the Fatui provided him. There were so many signs and he missed all but the most obvious. To think, the one thing that would cause Childe to pick up on the fact that his new eccentric friend was maybe not human, would be for him to literally eat a rock in front of him.