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Summary:

Castiel finally makes his way back to Dean, but he's no longer the same being as he was before. Purgatory AU.

Notes:

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Supernatural franchise. No money is being made for my having written this piece.

This is something I've been working on for a little while on and off. It started off one way and then went into a totally other direction that I really enjoyed writing. It's in a slightly similar vein of my old story 'Matter of Time' and a little bit of 'Firebird' too. I'm even considering a follow-up story as well. I hope you guys enjoy it.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Benny had gone away to scout ahead, leaving Dean by himself as the shadow approached him from behind. Grabbing his weapon, Dean turned and stopped in place.

"What the hell?"

Dean rose slowly from his crouch where his friend Castiel was poised and ready to attack, red eyed and frowning. Sweat beads littered his forehead and one hand was held out in front of him, his fingers stiff and claw-like.

As though he wanted to scratch Dean with his fingernails.

His breathing was concentrated as the frown melted away into a look of pure fear.

And sadness.

As Dean rose, Castiel collapsed into his arms. Sobs racked his body and Dean felt like he wanted to cry too. When he began to calm down a little, Dean moved them to the ground and continued rubbing the angel's back.

"Cas, what happened?"

Castiel rubbed his eyes and started talking. "The last thing I remember was seeing you. And then I didn’t…"

He made a move to continue following when...when, what?

"Ah, you're awake."

Awake? All around him was nothing but a blanket of blank space. The darkness surrounding him suddenly began to dissipate and he found himself lying back on a pile of dingy, dead leaves in a clearing full of bent trees. His head felt like it was full of cotton and a very human feeling of a headache was building in his temple. Someone began walking towards him and he was forced from his position to look up and see....

"Mary Winchester?"

"Mary" smiled a little too widely and shook her head.

"Guess again."

She reached out her hand to touch him in the spot that was hurting and instantly the pain went away. Everything suddenly became a little clearer and he realized just whom this person was.

"Eve."

She smirked. "Bingo."

Castiel stumbled to his feet and called forth his blade, holding it in front of himself for his own protection.

"Where have you taken me? Where's Dean?"

Eve held up her hands in front of her, demonstrating that she wasn't going to attack him.

"Relax. He's right where you left him. With my child..."

Castiel squinted. "Then why am I here?"

"You're here," Eve said, coming towards him and walking around him, "Because I could sense just how lost you felt and I thought you could use a little tender care."

"I need to get back to Dean. He needs protection."

Castiel started to walk but, when he reached the very edge of escape, found himself unable to move any further. He tried again, but nothing. It was as though there were an invisible wall blocking him from going forward.

"Now now, little fledgling. I didn't say you could leave so soon."

Castiel turned back just as Eve appeared before him, thin but long fangs extending from her mouth and going to his neck. He didn't know whether or not he had time to cry out because the darkness that surrounded him earlier returned and he again knew no more.

"Eve? Eve got to you?"

"I believe so. She must’ve returned here in death just like everything else."

Dean shook his head. "But... But how did she...?"

Castiel looked down idly at his fingernails and shrugged. "Eve is older than even myself, created by my Father along with the Leviathans. I think. She has power over me, Dean, just as before."

"What, what did she do to you?"

Castiel frowned and clutched his hair. "I don't know. I feel...strange. I just (Castiel wiped his forehead with the back of his arm) I just need something."

"What?"

Castiel shook his head. "I don't know."

Dean looked around and realized that both of them were fairly out in the open. Anything could find them out here.

"Come on, man," he said, standing and pulling the angel back to his feet. "We should get going."

"But what about...?"

"Benny's good. He's been here awhile, he can wait a little bit longer."

Castiel nodded and motioned his head west. "Shall we?"

Dean led the way forward. "Let's roll."


Dean walked a few paces ahead of Castiel, keeping his eyes out for anything out of the ordinary. When the angel stopped suddenly and looked backwards, Dean waited a few minutes before walking back.

"What's up?"

"Did-did you not hear that?" Castiel asked, looking back and forth between Dean and the way ahead.

Dean frowned and crossed his arms. "No. Why? What was it?"

"It sounded like...a song?"

"A song?"

"A melody. Music."

Castiel's red eyes burned into Dean, willing him to believe what he said to be true.

"Where'd it come from?” Dean asked. “Which direction?"

Castiel closed his eyes and walked in a slow circle, listening. Dean was reminded abruptly of a few weeks ago when the guy spent his free time talking to bee swarms.

"This way," he finally said, facing north.

They continued walking, now in the new direction. Castiel wiped away more sweat and Dean noticed that the fingernails of Cas' hand looked longer than they had earlier.

"You still doing okay?" Dean asked carefully.

Castiel swallowed and nodded his head. "I will be fine."


A few days later they came upon a rogue band of werewolves that surrounded them once they'd caught their scent.

"Well, if it isn't the human and his little...what're you?" the leader asked, peering around Dean to where Castiel was standing in a hunched crouch.

Five other wolves blocked off any potential exit, leaving the two of them trapped in the center of their trap.

"Hey, we don't want any trouble," Dean said, putting down his weapon and holding up his hands. "We're just on our way out to see the Big Lady in Charge."

No one said anything for a time; everything remained frozen.

One of the scrawnier wolves was the first to move towards them, poised to attack. Dean turned on instinct but Castiel was already right in front of him, blocking the attack with an angry growl as he slashed the coming monster with his hand, leaving a trail of blood before launching himself at it, bringing the both of them to the ground.

"Not good," Dean said before immediately turning and swinging his blade, slicing the head off of another wolf that was about to attack him from behind.

Castiel rose back up with a nasty bark, causing the remaining four wolves to literally turn tail and make their escape to wherever they came from.  The pair remained to catch their bearings.

"Cas," Dean finally said, putting his knife away for safe keeping. "Come on. Let's keep going."

Castiel turned to look at him before he raised his head to sniff the air. After reorienting himself, Castiel led their way once again.


When it was close to what counted as nighttime in Purgatory, Dean begged Cas that he needed to stop.

"I'm beat, man. I need a break."

Castiel made sure he still had the scent of their search before locating for them a secluded area that would be good enough for Dean to take it easy. They sat beside each other, Castiel fiddling with his coat and Dean polishing his knife against the side of his own jacket.

"So...Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

Not knowing exactly how to ask, Dean started and stopped speaking a bit before finally asking, "What exactly kind of, kind of thing, are you?"

Castiel looked down at his hand and licked his lips (showing off sharpened teeth he definitely never had before) before answering.

"I'm not - I'm not sure exactly. I - I think it's something, um, doglike?"

Dean closed one eye and then the other while trying to picture it. "Dog?"

Castiel stood and suddenly began pacing back and forth. "It's strange, these feelings that are just growing inside of me. I need - I need something. Something to - something to....something to hunt."

“You wanna hunt?” Dean asked, attempting to be casual.

Castiel approached Dean, clutching his collar, and with desperation said, "I-I hunger for it. To attack. To capture. Tear with my hands and-and teeth. To ki-"

"Hey!” Dean yelped, pulling away. “Cas, snap out of it!"

The red of Castiel's eyes intensified the longer he stared into Dean's face. "My grace is waning, Dean. I can feel it. It is going away and I won't be able to...I’ll be something else."

Dean took Cas into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Cas, you're going to be just fine. You stick with me and I won't let anything happen to you."

"What if I get too far gone? What then?"

"We'll figure it out." Dean continued to hug his friend, squeezing him tightly to ensure he not be alone.


Castiel watched over Dean as he rested. Gently, he placed his hand against Dean's face and traced a line with his fingernail so lightly it didn't even leave a mark. Dean snorted in his sleep, maybe feeling the slight touch so Castiel removed his hand.

He looked down at it.

He refused to tell Dean just how bad it was getting. Denied it. It would do him no good to worry; Dean would probably somehow think all of it was his fault. He was like that. He was a good man. A good friend.

Castiel...

No. Not again.

Castiel... Come back to me, child. Come to me...

Castiel clutched his ears and shut his eyes. "No."

"Cas?"

Castiel looked to find Dean, squinting at him and frowning.

"S'everything okay?" he asked, voice slurred from sleep.

"I'm fine," Castiel said, lowering his hands and returning to his ramrod straight sitting position.

Dean slowly returned to an unconscious state and Castiel brought his knees up to his chin, returning to watch duty. The voice had never been so loud before.

“Oh, Father,” the fallen angel whispered to himself.

Castiel looked up to the sky. There was nothing but black, not even the light of a single star. Just a few short weeks ago, he could see the gateway between Heaven and Purgatory. He was blocked from entering but it was still there as a sign. The voices of his brethren was nothing more than a distant memory too.

He wondered what should happen to him should he not escape. He did not want to become unclean, a monster. Would Dean find it in himself to put him out of his misery?

Castiel looked to his friend once again, so peaceful in his slumber. He rubbed his fingers together and touched him on the face again.

“I will not harm you, Dean Winchester,” Castiel whispered. “I will protect you just as I always have until the day that I am no longer of sound mind to do so.”

He allowed Dean to sleep for approximately four and a half hours. Once they were prepared, they got back on their path, Castiel remaining in the lead with Dean only a step or two behind.

“Did you rest well, Dean?” Castiel asked.

“Not bad, considering.”

Castiel barely had time to turn when something jumped out of a tree and propelled itself straight at Dean, pinning him to the ground and sinking its teeth and claws deep into Dean's chest.

"No," Castiel snarled, launching himself back to where his friend lay.

The creature, a ghoul from the look of it, removed itself from Dean's body and ran off back into the wood before he could even think to chase after it. Castiel snarled at its retreating form.

"...Cas?"

Castiel turned back to Dean, covered in blood and slow in moving. Too slow.

"Dean."

"Did you get the number of that truck?"

Castiel removed his coat and used it to try and staunch the flow of blood.

“That wasn’t an automobile.”

Dean coughed, blood dribbling from his lips. “Sarcasm, man.”

The blood was gushing freely and there was just so much of it...

Bring him to me... Bring him to me, child...

The Voice. Perhaps…

"How?" Castiel asked the Voice.

You know what to do. I placed that knowledge into your mind when I remade you.

Dean was barely breathing, his heartbeat stuttering beneath Castiel's hands.

Bring him to me...

Quickly so as to not think about it, Castiel bit into the underside of his wrist and dribbled the blood that flowed into Dean's slightly open mouth. Castiel waited beside his friend, still holding onto his coat. "What have I done," he whispered to the air.

"Dean, I'm so, so sorry."


Dean woke up feeling wrong. And not just wrong like waking up on the floor in a pile of sheets for no reason wrong.

He was just wrong.

"Dean? Are you awake?"

Ok. A voice. He knew that voice. Slowly Dean opened his eyes and looked up to find that everything weirdly had a red tinge to it. Castiel's face hovered over him, frowning and examining him really closely. Oh, not again…

"We've had this conversation a million times, Cas."

"Which one?"

Dean pushed Castiel away and sat up on his own.

"Space. Dude, what happened? Why's everything so...so red?"

Castiel's mouth snapped shut and he readjusted his position in the dirt.

"You, you see red?"

"Yeah. Like it's all tinted."

Yeah, come to think of it, the temperature must've changed too. Dean began removing his outer jacket, sat still for a second, and then began removing his flannel too. There were creatures screeching nearby. Loudly. And since when did everything smell extra musty with a hint of petrified mold?

Dean wiped his forehead and frowned to himself. He looked down at his remaining shirt to find a rather large, conspicuous red stain and his really not so eaten chest underneath.

He-he had been, had been, there was a thing

"Cas...?"

Castiel looked off to the side and Dean felt the sudden urge to throttle him. Before he knew it, he was up, right in front of him, holding onto Castiel's coat and snarling at him.

"What did you do?" Dean whispered, his eyes becoming slits on his face.

"I-I-"

"Castiel!"

"The Voice told me to do it. It told me to do it. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry," Dean growled menacingly, letting go and moving away. In the whirlwind of his anger, his head began to ache and spin so he lowered his head to the ground and waited for it to pass.

He remained bowed for several minutes and, when he sensed Castiel moving into his space again, Dean simply shook his head. The two of them remained in the same clearing for the remainder of what counted as a day in the revolting dimension.


"You were going to die."

From his position just out of Dean's reach, Castiel looked ahead to see that Dean still had yet to move a muscle.

"The ghoul drew too much blood from your coronary artery. If I didn't step in, something worse might've happened to you."

No answer but a huff of breath.

"The Voice told me..."

"The voice told you?"

Castiel looked up to see Dean had turned, was staring back at him. His red eyes appeared, if possible, a deeper shade. Anger. Hatred.

"Yes, the Voice."

"Eve's voice?"

Castiel said nothing.

"Hello my child. Welcome back."

Dean clenched his eyes shut and when Castiel moved into his space, this time he did nothing to stop his approach.

"Damn bitch."

"Manners, boy. Do not believe for one moment that you are not too old for punishment."

Dean felt a pounding in his skull and Castiel put his hands on his shoulders.

"What is she telling you? Dean?"

"If you come to me, Winchester, I'll turn you back to as you once were. You're little friend too."

Dean let out a huff of laughter. "And why should I believe you? You got him while his back was turned."

"I was only looking for a little fun. I so enjoy creation."

Dean chanced a look to Castiel who was staring at him, waiting for what he was going to say next.

"You'll turn us back if we come?"

"You have my word."

"Spill it then, sister. Where are you?"

Dean collapsed to the ground with a sharp yell as an image implanted itself inside of his mind. It lasted for several seconds but it felt like it had taken hours until it was over. Once it was finished, he needed several moments to catch his breath.

"Come on, Cas. Let’s move."

Dean looked around and down to find Castiel in a similar position to the one he was in moments ago.

"Cas?"

"...I am fine."

Castiel opened his eyes and looked up at him. Dean reached out his hand and helped Castiel back up on his feet.

"Eve tell you what's going down?"

Slowly, Castiel nodded. He sniffed the air once more and began walking. Dean waited a few seconds before smelling for himself. The direction they were going in - it smelled of roses.      


Dean felt the changes to himself the longer they walked onward.

His vision was much clearer - more so than it had ever been. Strangely, he also felt at one with the land for the first time since he’d arrived. His teeth ached and he ran his tongue through his mouth. They were sharper. Predatory. His fingernails had also hardened and had grown at least an inch or two in length. His skin also felt both tighter and thicker on his body. Harder.

He wanted to panic - but couldn't. It would do no good to let his mind go there at this point in time.

"Cas? We nearly there?"

"I believe..." Castiel stopped dead in his tracks.

"Cas?" Dean asked, coming to his side.

Before them was a grouping of trees forming an arch, where a single beam of light was shining down on Mary Winchester wearing a white dress and surrounded by beautiful blood red roses.

Neither Dean nor Castiel moved though internally they were drawn to be near her.

"Come my boys," she said, motioning for them to come, her voice echoing in this open place.

Dean was the first to take a step and then stopped himself from continuing. She smiled at them and Dean knew what was going to happen. Damn it, he knew.

Castiel was the first to walk towards her and Dean followed him. Together, they kneeled down before her and she put her hands against their cheeks and hummed.

Immediately, Dean felt totally mollified.

Castiel reached for her hand gently, removed it from his face, and kissed it. She ran her fingers through his hair and Castiel murmured in response, "Mother."

Not wishing to be forgotten, Dean shifted closer to where she sat and leaned his head against her upper thigh.

"Welcome home, my sons." She leaned over and gave both of them a kiss on the forehead.

Notes:

I love monster turning stories. Thanks again for reading. Happy Holidays everyone.