Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I don’t really mean anything to you after all, right ?”, Hifumi said with a sigh.

“I-I never said that… There was some trouble on my way home today, and I- it can’t be helped-”, Doppo tried to explain, but it didn’t seem to be working. He has always had trouble with expressing himself, which always had him being in trouble. This argument with Hifumi was no exception. He had been trying to explain to his boyfriend about why he ended up coming home a lot later than usual, thus missing his dinner appointment with him, since the moment he stepped into the living room. In the end, he ended up not being able to say anything as he saw how disappointed Hifumi was.

“Excuses again ?”

“No-”

“I’ve been waiting since forever for the dinner, but then you just ignored me, and pretended like nothing happened.”

“I didn’t…”, Doppo tried to deny. He didn’t intend to ignore him. He was just too absorbed in trying to finish his works as fast as he could so that he could leave early for the dinner. ‘But then, it was still my fault for not replying to his messages…’

“You did.”

“Like I said-”, Doppo tried to explain again, but the blonde wasn’t even bothered to listen anymore, turning his back towards him.

“Ah… Lets stop this. This is ridiculous.”, Hifumi spat bitterly.

“Wait, Hifumi-”

“Yeah. You’re right. It can’t be helped, right ?”, Hifumi said, sounding eerily cold. “Even after all these years growing up, you’re still really suck when it comes to relationship between people. Why don’t you try dying for real ? That way you won’t be bothered with maintaining relationships between people anymore.”

Doppo froze at his spot as soon as he heard Hifumi’s venomous words. He never thought that he’d hear those words from his boyfriend. Sure, Hifumi sometimes doesn’t seem like he has any filter when it comes to voicing his thoughts, no matter how offending or embarrassing they are, but they were never this hurtful. Never this venomous. Maybe he fucked up really bad this time after all.

‘Ah… I fucked up again…’, Doppo thought. ‘I always ruin everything.’

“Ah- Sorry- That doesn’t-”, Hifumi stuttered as he tried to take his words back. He turned backwards to look at his boyfriend, and the sight made him regret everything. Doppo’s eyes were void of life, and he could see tears forming in them.

“Y-You… You’re right… It’s exactly like what you said, huh… Haha…”, Doppo said with a lifeless voice, then added a laugh that sounded awkward even to his ears, with the hope that it will ease the tension between them. Noticing how it wasn’t working, he made a swift movement towards his bedroom. “Lets just go to sleep. I’m really sorry, Hifumi. Good night.”

“W-Wait- Doppo !”, Hifumi said as he walked after Doppo, only to have the door slammed in front of his face.

He stood frozen in front of Doppo’s bedroom door as everything finally dawned on him. He just said the worst thing he could possibly say to Doppo. He knew that Doppo didn’t mean to miss their dinner appointment. He knew that Doppo’s colleagues probably dumped all of their jobs on him like always, and his boyfriend was probably had been focusing on finishing the job as fast as he could so that he could make it to the dinner. And the redhead did mention about having trouble on his way home, so some thugs probably thought that it was a wise decision gang up against Doppo into a rap battle when he’s already tired from working overtime.

Doppo did looked way more miserable than usual when he arrived, yet there Hifumi was, lashing out on him as soon as he arrived. They had been together since middle school. They should’ve understood each other’s quirks by now, but still, he let his disappointment got to him and spat those hurtful words towards his own boyfriend. Telling Doppo to die was so uncalled for, considering that the salaryman has always had the tendency to end his life.

‘Oh my god… I can’t believe I said that to Doppo…’, the blonde thought to himself, tears started to well up in his eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to hurt you, Doppo… I’m sorry…’

Hifumi wanted to bang on Doppo’s door until he came out, but he decided against it to let the both of them to cool down from all of the emotions. But part of him was worried; worried that Doppo might actually did it. What if he wakes up tomorrow, and found that it was too late to mend everything ? What if he went into Doppo’s room only to find out that the room is empty ? Or worse, what if he found Doppo- no he didn’t want to finish that thought. If that happened, it’s going to be all his fault. He didn’t mind, no, he really does mind if Doppo decided to walk away, but that’s better than the last thought.

“I should believe in Doppo… I’ll see him tomorrow. I’ll talk to Doppo again, and apologize.”, Hifumi muttered as he went to turn in for the day.

Chapter Text

Hifumi woke up as soon as his morning alarm started ringing – not that he really slept that well last night with how his argument with Doppo ended. He had been worrying the whole night that he would lose his boyfriend as soon as morning came. Pushing the nasty thoughts away, the blonde went to the kitchen to start preparing food for breakfast and Doppo’s lunch box. He decided to go with Doppo’s favourite for his lunch box – grilled salmon – as an apology for what he did last night.

One thing that he liked about waking up before anyone else is the peace that he gets from having next to no sound filling the surrounding. That means he can focus on the noises that comes from his cooking process only. He always finds it relaxing listening to the sounds of chopping, frying, searing and grilling – even the act of it feels fulfilling. Imagining how the ingredients would turn out is exciting, and seeing how happy his boyfriend looks while eating is the reward that he always waits for.

Ever since they lived together, Doppo never really complained about his food though. Sure, Hifumi might be a good cook by now, but he did start from rock bottom. From overly mushy rice to almost burnt vegetables and proteins, and at times overly seasoned or poorly seasoned dishes, the blonde sure did make lots of them. But the redhead never complained about them. He still eats them. All he did was laugh at him and teach him how to make them better whenever he has some free time to spare.

Different from people’s belief, Doppo does know how to cook. He’s an older brother after all and sometimes, he has to cook for his little brother whenever their parents weren’t around. He does know a few tricks and tips on cooking which he learnt from watching his mother. Hifumi is sure that his boyfriend could’ve taken care of himself just well if it’s not for his hellishly long working hours which should’ve been illegal at the first place.

After everything was finished, he nervously walked towards Doppo’s bedroom to wake him up. The redhead’s alarm was blaring so loudly since 5 a.m, but he didn’t hear any noises of Doppo going out of his room to take a bath. It didn’t seem like his boyfriend even made the effort to turn off his alarm either.

‘Maybe it’s one of those days, you know ? When Doppo only managed to sleep when it’s almost dawn and then ended up oversleeping.’, Hifumi tried to convince himself. He somehow felt very uneasy about this. Shaking off his thought, he tried knocking on his door.

“Doppo-chin ! You’re going to be late, u know !”, he shouted, but heard no response. Cold sweat began running down his temple. Doppo is a very light sleeper. While he sometimes ended up oversleeping, he never failed to turn off his alarms before continuing his sleep. A few knocks on his door are usually enough to receive a response from the salaryman. “Doppo-chin ! Are you still upset ? Don’t ignore me, please… I need to know that you’re okay.”

Receiving no response, Hifumi tried opening the door, but it was locked. The host hastily went to his own bedroom to get the duplicate keys to Doppo’s bedroom, and then unlocked it. He stopped at the sight of his boyfriend on the bed, still in his striped shirt and slacks from yesterday. Hifumi came closer towards the bed, trying to confirm that the salaryman is just sleeping. The blonde let out a relieved sigh as he saw him still breathing. As he looked closely, there were streaks of dried tears on his cheeks, and guilt immediately settled inside him. ‘He must’ve cried himself to sleep.’

“Doppo… Wake up. It’s late already.”, he said as he shook Doppo’s body gently, but he didn’t give any response to it. He tried again, harder this time, but there was still no response. “Doppo ! This is not funny !”, he raised his voice, but still, no response.

“Doppo ! I know that you’re upset, but please-”, Hifumi started sobbing. He looked around for any sight of the redhead’s medications, just in case if the redhead was overdosing himself, but he didn’t find any around. He felt a bit relieved by the fact that his boyfriend didn’t actually try to overdose himself, but then he still didn’t understand why Doppo won’t wake up. “I should call sensei…”

“It doesn’t seem like there’s something wrong with him, Hifumi-kun. All his vitals are normal. It seems like he’s in a comatose state, but we couldn’t find any causes for this.”, Jakurai stated. “But I think I have an idea on what happened to Doppo-kun. Did he mention about getting into a rap battle yesterday ?”

“He… did say that he got into trouble on his way back home, but… we kinda had an argument last night… so he didn’t…,”, Hifumi said while trying to hold back his tears, but it was futile as the memories from last night flooded his mind. “Sensei… I didn’t bother to listen to his explanation… Just because he came home late and… missed our dinner appointment… I said hurtful words to him sensei… I-I just want him to wake up again. I don’t care if he’s going to hate me, or if he’s going to leave me when he wakes up. I just… I wanted to talk to him again… and apologize properly…”

“Hifumi-kun. I don’t think Doppo-kun would hate you just because of an argument.”, Jakurai said, trying to calm the blonde down.

“But I literally told him to die, sensei !”, the host raised his voice, earning a shocked reaction from the doctor from both the tone and information.

“I agree that it’s not a good thing to say, Hifumi-kun. But still, I’m really sure that Doppo-kun would not hate you just because of a bad argument.”, the doctor said with a smile. “I might just know both of you for a few months, but from the counselling sessions I had with Doppo-kun, I know that he loves and cherishes you more than anything, Hifumi-kun.”

“You… really think so ? Doppo won’t hate me ?”

“Yeah. I’m sure of it.”, Jakurai said as he patted Hifumi’s head. “If anything, I’m sure that the first thing he’s going to do when he wakes up is apologizing profusely to you.”, he continued with a chuckle.

“I bet he would.”, the host said with a small smile. “He’s always like that.”

“Please leave it to me and get some rest, Hifumi-kun. If he really was involved in a rap battle, then it’s most likely that he’s just experiencing the side effect of the enemy’s hypnosis microphone. Most of them will wear out by time, but I’ll go through this case and try to find a solution.”

“Can I wait with Doppo ?”

“Of course, you can.”, the doctor said with a gentle smile.

As soon as Hifumi went out of his room, Jakurai let down his smile. ‘I really hope this isn’t the same thing that happened to him.’