Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Thomas (Greenie50) has added Newt (TheGlue), Minho (TheBest), Alby (Alby1) and Gally (TheActualBest) to the chat.

Newt: What is this...?

Thomas: It’s a texting group chat!

Minho: Why’s Gally in it?

Gally: Ahem, why wouldn’t I be?

Newt: You’re annoying

Alby: I think Gally was added as an afterthought

Gally: Was not.

Thomas: ....actually yeah they’re right

Newt: ANYWAY

Newt: ...

Newt: I forget what I was going to bloody say

Minho: *applause*

Alby: So.... what are we gonna do?

Gally: Argue?

Alby: No

Gally: Annoy each other?

Minho: No

Gally: You shanks are no fun...

Thomas: Can we just talk about the fact that Alby’s username is Alby1?

Alby: I COULN’T THINK OF ANYTHING

Newt: Why not just Alby?

Alby: It was taken—

Minho: And I’m TheBest

Gally: And I’m TheActualBest

Minho: WAIT

Minho: YOU-

Minho: I’m gonna kill you

Gally: Have fun

Minho: And then when you’re dead, I’ll resurrect you so I can kill you again

Gally: I’d like to see you try—

Newt: Stop arguing, guys

Gally: And how’re you gonna stop us?

Newt: Minho, if you shut your face I’ll give you some Skittles

Minho:

Minho: Argument over, I want Skittles

Gally: Cheater-

Thomas: Nice job, Newt

Newt: Thanks, Tommy

Alby: GSNBDHENANACESRXGYN:HSNDHJSSKA/

Thomas: ...what

Alby: MY CAT STEPPED ON MY KEYBOARD

Newt: Wow

Alby: WAIT WHY IS EVERYTHING IN CAPS?!

Gally: Do you have caps lock on?

Alby: NO

Thomas: You sure?

Alby: NO

Alby: HOW DO YOU TURN IT OFF???

Newt: Push the buggin’ caps lock button!!!

Thomas:  Yes, Alby, you idiot

Alby: IT’S NOT WORKIN’

Newt: How many bloody times did you push it?

Alby: A LOT

Gally: Try pushing it ONCE

Gally: Just ONE time

Alby: I- oh.

Alby: ...thanks

Minho: Idiot.

Chapter Text

Thomas: Nooooooooooot

Newt: ...why

Newt: why me

Thomas: NOOT ARE YA LISTENING?

Newt: YES

Thomas: Can you go get groceries?

Newt: Why can’t Minho get them?

Minho: I don’t want to

Newt: Alby?

Alby: Nope :)

Newt: 

Newt: I’m not going to bother askin’ Gally

Gally: Wise decision

-later-

Newt: Alright.... what do you shanks want?

Minho: SKITTLES

Newt: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND SKITTLES?!

Minho: They taste good.

Newt: Fine, I’ll get your bloody Skittles

Minho: :D

Newt: What else do we need?

Thomas: Oranges

Newt: Okay—

Thomas: The red ones

Newt:

Newt: wHAT

Gally: I think he means apples

Thomas: Yeah get some of those

Newt: I-

Newt: You guys are idiots

Thomas: Did you get my red oranges??

Newt: Yes...

Thomas: Yayyyyy

Newt: Okay

Newt: What else?

Gally: We’re out of milk

Newt: Finally, a normal request

Newt: I can’t believe I’m saying this, but THANK YOU, GALLY

Gally: You’re welcome

Minho: Hurry up and bring me my Skiiiiiittles

Newt: I’m comin’, be patient

Alby: Can you get some oranges?

Thomas: He already got oranges

Alby: Yeah but I like the yellow ones

Newt: 

Newt: W

Newt: H

Newt: A

Newt: T

Minho: He means bananas

Newt: I-

Newt: I’m done

Newt: No more requests

Gally: But I want a coconut

Newt: WHY

Gally: They taste good

Thomas: 🎶Ko ko kokokoko nut🎶

Newt: Minho please make Tommy shut up before I punch him

Minho: Can you even do that from the phone screen?

Newt: Try me.

Minho (TheBest) banished Thomas (Greenie50) from the chat.

Gally: You can do that?!

Gally: Can I do that??

Minho: Yes, and no

Gally: Awwww

Minho: Only me and Newt can do it to people

Minho:

Minho: That came out wrong—

Alby: Yep it kinda did

Newt: Aaaaanywayyyyy

Gally: Newt: master of awkward transitions

Newt: Slim it, shuck-face

Newt: ANYWAY

Newt: I’m leaving now so I hope you’re all happy

Gally: Did you get my coconut?

Newt:

Newt: No

Gally: I WANT A COCONUT

Newt: NO

Gally:  coconut, coconut, coconut

Alby:  Coconut, Coconut, Coconut

Minho:  COCONUT! COCONUT! COCONUT!

Newt: NO!

Newt: I AM NOT GETTING A COCONUT!

Minho (TheBest) has added Thomas (Greenie50) to the chat.

Newt: What—

Thomas: Noooot

Newt: What are you doing—

Thomas: Noooot can you pleeeeeeeeease get a coconut?

Newt:

Newt: I hate all of you

Alby: I didn’t do anything

Alby: It’s Minho’s fault

Newt: Don’t matter

Gally: Wait are you getting my coconut

Newt: Yes...

Gally: Yay

Minho: I think we know how to get Newt to do stuff for us

Minho: Just get Thomas to ask

Newt: Shut it

Minho: Just sayin’

-later-

Gally: THIS IS NOT A COCONUT

Gally: THIS IS A SHUCK POTATO

Newt: Oops sorry must have mixed them up

Gally: I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU

Thomas: You can’t.

Thomas: Newt just left.

Thomas: With a coconut.

Chapter Text

Minho: I’m bored

Thomas: Same

Minho: Wanna play truth or dare?

Thomas: Sure

Alby: Okay

Gally: Yes

Newt: No I do not

Thomas: Why not??

Gally: You got something to hide?

Newt:

Newt: Yes actually so we’re not playin’

Thomas: I dare you to play truth or dare with us

Minho: Ooooh

Newt: You can’t do that

Alby: Yes he can. You have to play, Newt

Newt: No

Gally: Yes

Newt: No

Gally: Yes

Newt: nO

Gally: yES

Newt: NO

Thomas: YES

Newt: FINE

Minho: Yay :D

Thomas: Who wants to start?

Minho: THOMAS TRUTH OR DARE?

Thomas:

Thomas: .....truth

Minho: What do you think of Newt?

Newt: whAT—

Alby: Ooooooh

Gally: Ooooooooooh

Thomas:

Thomas: I mean he’s nice and stuff

Thomas: And like he has a nice smile and his eyes are pretty

Newt: ............

Alby: OoOoOoOo

Gally: OoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Minho: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Thomas: .........

Thomas: Shut up, truth or dare, Gally?

Gally: Dare

Thomas: I dare you to punch Minho

Minho: WHAT

Minho: WHY

Alby: This escalated quickly

Gally: I would, but he’s like three blocks away

Minho: I FEEL BETRAYED

Thomas: Fair enough. Just kick him really hard next time you see him

Gally: Will do

Minho: WHAT DID I DO

Newt: YOU INVOLVED ME IN THE QUESTION THAT I DID NOT WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN

Minho: THAT DOESN’T MEAN I DESERVE TO BE KICKED

Newt: YOU DO

Gally: MY TURN

Gally: Newt!

Newt: Shuck

Gally: Truth or Dare?

Newt:

Newt: This is gonna be bad no matter what

Newt: Truth.

Gally: If you could date any of us, who would you date?

Newt:

Thomas:

Newt: Does Teresa count?

Minho: You’re gay

Newt: 

Newt: Do I count?

Alby: You can’t date yourself

Newt:  I can try

Gally: Nope

Newt:

Newt: Then Thomas I guess

Thomas:

Minho: OoOoOo Noot liiiiikes Tommy!

Alby: OOooooooOoOoOooOooooOo

Gally: Hahaha

Newt: I never said that!!!

Galky: Then what did you say? 😏

Newt: That he was the best option

Thomas: 

Minho: But actually would you date him?

Newt: 

Newt:

Newt:

Newt:

Newt: .........maybe

Thomas:

Newt:

Thomas:

Newt:

Thomas:

Newt: Anyyyyyywaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy

Gally: But—

Thomas: ANYWAYYYYY it’s Newt’s turn

Newt: Alby, truth or dare?

Alby: Truth.

Gally: Boooooo

Newt: If you could kick anyone right now, who would it be?

Alby: Gally

Thomas: Hahaha

Gally:

Minho: Hahahahahahahahaha

Gally: Honestly I hate all of you

Newt: You say that a lot

Gally: And I mean it every time. 

Alby: Guess I’m last. Truth or dare, Minho?

Minho: Dare.

Alby: I dare you to give me your phone password

Minho: You can’t do that—

Gally: He can, actually

Minho:

Minho: Truth.

Alby: What’s your phone password?

Minho: You’re the worst.

Minho: BetterThenAlby100

Alby: You sure it’s not BetterThanAlby100?

Minho:

Minho: ..........Is that how it’s supposed to be written?

Alby: Yes

Minho:

Minho: Oh.

Chapter Text

Newt: Alright, who took it?

Alby: Took what?

Newt: The shuck charging cord

Newt: My phone is dyin’ and I can’t find it

Thomas: You know it seems kind of stupid that we all live together and yet we only own one charging cord

Minho: We’re good at being stupid

Alby: We technically don’t live together

Alby: Our apartments are just all right next to each other

Newt: THEN WHY DO WE SHARE A CHARGING CORD

Thomas: Because we’re good at being stupid

Minho: Did you just quote me?

Thomas: Yes

Minho: Nice

Newt: Aaaaaaaaanywayyyyyy

Newt: WHO TOOK IT?

Alby: Did you ask Gally?

Newt:

Newt: GALLY GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND GIVE ME THE CHARGING CORD BACK

Gally: I don’t have it

Newt:

Newt: THEN WHO DOES??

Thomas: No clue

Alby: What percentage is your phone at, Newt?

Newt: 2%

Newt: Hold up it’s at 1% now

Thomas: Did you ask Minho if he has it?

Minho: EXCUSE ME I DO NOT HAVE IT

Newt: MINHO GIMME IT NOW

Minho: I DON’T HAVE THE SHUCK CORD

Minho: THOMAS HAS IT

Alby: I like how Thomas is just laughing his face off over here

Thomas: MINHO!!!

Newt: THOMAS!!!!

Thomas: Someone’s in trouuuuuuble

Newt:

Thomas: It’s me.

Thomas: I don’t know why I did that

Newt: I NEED THE CHARGING CORD

Newt: GIVE IT

Thomas: MAKE ME

Gally: I’m enjoying this immensly.

Alby: That’s not how you spell immensely 

Gally:

Gally: No one CARES

Newt: THOMAS JUST GIVE ME THE BLOODY CHARGING CORD

Thomas: NoNonOnoNonOnOnoNoNoOoOooOoOoO

Newt: PLEASEEEEEEEEE

Minho: Ooh, he’s begging now

Thomas: NoOoOooOoOooOO

Newt: YeEeEeEEeeEeeEeeeEeessssssss

Thomas: NO

Newt: YES

Newt (TheGlue) has been disconnected from the chat.

Minho: Haha his phone died

Gally: That was entertaining

Alby: Someone should probably give him the cord...

Thomas: HELP ME I’M BEING ATTACKED

Minho: I think Newt’s gonna get it himself

Thomas: HAHDBSNAJJSJSJSJS GIVE IT TO ME, TOMMY HJADJHDAHJ HAHVHKIW 

Thomas: I DIDN’T KNOW SOMEONE SO SKINNY COULD BE SO AGGRESSIVE

Alby: Just give it to him-

Thomas: I LOST IT

Thomas: IJHJHEWVOJHJOQOIHIGOWDQVJOCSAOVJ SACVJN QVIOSCQ J OAD THOMAS SUCKS

Thomas: NEWT!!!

Thomas: OW

Gally: I’m rooting for Newt here

Minho: That’s because he’s winning

Gally: Exactly.

Alby: How are you still texting us while being attacked by Newt??

Thomas: I HAVE NO CLUE

Thomas: THANK GOD HE FOUND IT

Thomas: AND HE LEFT

Thomas: ALSO OW

Minho: Okay, everybody back to bed, it’s 3 am

Gally: ‘Night, everyone

Alby: Goodnight

Thomas: Goodnight. 

Thomas: My phone is cracked now—

Minho: Haha.

Minho: That’s what you get for cruelty to Noot

Thomas: Frick you.

Minho: :)

Chapter Text

Thomas: Newt

Thomas: Neeeeeeeeewwwwt

Thomas: Nooooooot

Thomas: NOOT

Thomas: NOOOOOOOOOOOOT ANSWER MEEEEE

Newt: What now?!

Thomas: Hi.

Newt:

Newt: Is that all you’re gonna say?

Thomas: Yes.

Newt:

Thomas: I mean no?

Newt:

Thomas: Maybe? 

Newt: 

Thomas: ........noot?

Newt:

Newt: It’s 1 am

Newt: You’re textin’ me at 1 am for NO REASON?!

Thomas: M’bored

Newt: Why am I friends with you-

Thomas: No clue.

Newt: That was a rhetorical question.

Thomas: Oh.

Thomas:

Thomas: Wanna play I spy?

Newt: No.

Thomas: Would you rather?

Newt: No.

Thomas: Yes or no?

Newt: No

Newt: Wait, what’s ‘yes or no’?

Thomas: It’s where I ask you a bunch of weird questions and you have to answer yes or no

Thomas: And you get bonus points for answerin’ fast

Newt: Fine.

Thomas: Okay, here we go.

Thomas: Do you like pancakes?

Newt: Yes

Thomas: Is a hotdog a sandwich?

Newt: No?

Thomas: Are you asleep?

Newt: No

Thomas: Am I annoying yet?

Newt: No

Thomas: Is the sky blue?

Newt: Yes

Thomas: Is my name actually Thomas?

Newt: ...yes?

Thomas: Are you dead?

Newt: No

Thomas: Is water wet?

Newt: Yes

Thomas: Do you have any friends?

Newt: Yes

Thomas: Am I one of them?

Newt: Yes

Thomas: Are there 364 days in a leap year?

Newt: No

Thomas: Am I annoying yet?

Newt: Yes

Thomas: Am I cute?

Newt: Yes

Thomas:

Newt: **** I mean no

Minho: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Newt: I MEANT NO

Thomas:

Minho: Hehehehehehehehehehe

Newt: Minho I will not hesitate to punch you

Newt: Also why are you awake 

Alby: I’m here too

Newt: Why are you both awake

Gally: Hello

Newt: Why are you all awake

Minho: We wanted to watch the action

Alby: Mhm

Newt: There’s nothin’ to see here, go away

Thomas:

Minho: I dunno, that looked like something

Alby: NEWT AND THOMAS SITTIN’—

Newt (TheGlue) has deleted the chat group.