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"God, just - fucking kiss and get it over with, please."
Seokjin gestures between Taehyung and Jimin while he's putting his jacket on, his face a mix of mild annoyance and fondness, expecting their habit of kissing each other upon greetings and goodbyes. Something which many, if not all of their friends have come to witness at some point in their lives. Something that made them the butt of many jokes and made everybody laugh, including themselves.
Something so natural for the two of them that they never cared who said what about it. It was who they were and it was how they loved. Open, loud, in everybody's face.
So when time comes for Taehyung and Seokjin to leave for the night, it's only natural that Jimin and Taehyung kiss each other, bid their affectionate farewells. In front of their whole friend group, of course, after their small get together at their place.
How wonderful.
"We know you wanna, don't get all shy all of a sudden now," Hoseok calls them out for their silence. To the others, their hesitance apparently looks like they're shy.
If only it were.
"Yeah," someone else says, Jimin isn't paying attention who, "we don't want one or both of you exploding over the weekend."
Jimin sees Taehyung force a smile and do a good job at it, too, probably putting all of his acting experience into it. Jimin opts to look down at the ground to hide the sadness in his eyes.
It's true, had it been a few weeks ago, Jimin and Taehyung would have been having an intense kissing session before the upcoming occasion, before Taehyung and Seokjin's weekend trip to Seokjin's family farm. Taehyung's leaving tonight and staying over at Seokjin's for their early trip the next morning.
If they didn't say a proper goodbye, they would have most definitely been miserable over the weekend.
But considering the current circumstances, they are going to be miserable either way. At least, Jimin thinks, things are already so fucked that nothing could really get worse, so fuck it, he says to himself and moves into Taehyung's space before anyone starts to get suspicious. He slings both arms around Taehyung's shoulders and pulls him against his chest, rising up to his tiptoes. Mouth against Taehyung's.
Taehyung seems caught off-guard only a little, before he easily falls into long-practiced rhythm. They share a rather long but dry kiss, lips interlocking but mouths still mostly closed, lips chapped after all the wine they've had. Both holding their breaths, unmoving except for the way Taehyung's arms land around Jimin's back.
When they finally part, Jimin tries to give him a smile and feels his eyes tear-up a little.
Taehyung's still looking at him with his own warm smile that Jimin knows is still fake.
Their friends laugh at him for crying because he'll miss his boyfriend over the weekend.
He laughs along. But he's not crying because of that - he's crying because he doesn't even have a boyfriend anymore. He won't just be missing Taehyung over the weekend, he's missing him already and he'll be missing him forever.
That night alone is not an easy one.
It's not Jimin's first night alone in the bed - their bed - but it is his first night alone in the house in a very long time. And certainly his first since they broke up.
To put it simply, he's miserable.
He's miserable and everything around him seems to exist for the sole purpose of mocking him. Torturing him.
The bed sheets are awfully cold without Taehyung's furnace of a body in them next to his. In his attempts at getting comfortable, Jimin keeps finding himself searching for more heat under the blanket, but it's cold wherever he reaches. It's empty wherever he touches. And it makes him feel cold inside, too, realizing how lonely everything is without Taehyung.
He hates seeing the other side of the bed empty. He hates knowing this is how things are now. He hates every single minute for passing by like nothing's wrong, when Jimin himself feels stuck in a loop where their last fight plays in his head over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
He feels the ghost of their earlier kiss on his lips and it feels so wrong - the feeling of pretending to kiss the man he called his soulmate for years. Lying to his friends.
He's been in bed for a few hours now, but they feel like weeks, months, years, like an eternity, when Jimin can't seem to fall asleep.
Too afraid of the future, too afraid of moving on. Too afraid his dreams will be full of Taehyung's beautiful smile - too afraid they won't. Too afraid of the thought that he might not even have him in his dreams anymore.
So he tosses and turns, tosses and turns.