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Lorenz had never been a big fan of alcohol.
In all honesty, he had never considered it back in school. Not only to set a good example for younger students, but also because he had simply never fancied it’s taste.
The bitter and sometimes burning sensation it left in his mouth and throat was most certainly off putting and far removed from the slight sour tinge and freshness of his prefered teas.
If he had to describe it - truly describe it - it was downright offensive.
So how he had let himself be talked into a glass of wine by Ferdinand was beyond his knowledge. If he had even protested the idea he wasn’t sure anymore, but he had sat down with his friend and instead of their afternoon tea they had enjoyed some evening wine.
A little more than Lorenz had originally anticipated.
Ferdinand - bless his soul - had made sure to find the sweetest wine in all of Fódlan in hopes that they would actually be able to finish the bottle.
And they had. Quicker than Lorenz would like to admit, especially considering that was most likely his fault.
The sweet and almost fruity aroma still hadn’t been able to completely cover the bitterness, forcing him into emptying his glasses much quicker than he should have.
Despite the poor choice of drink, it had been a quite pleasant evening as it always was with Ferdinand around. It had always been easy to talk to him, back in their academy days and even now after the war.
Even more so as they had slowly drunken themselves into a state of tipsiness, their exchange becoming less and less eloquent and more freely, talking about this and that, duties and expectations, their friends and family-
It had been certainly a joy of laughter and smiles and small quips.
That is until Lorenz nearly choked on the liquid going down his throat as Ferdinand mentioned Claude.
It had taken him a moment to compose himself - or maybe even a bit longer than a moment. It was certainly hard to tell with his head feeling much lighter and clouded, now that he thought about it.
His reaction had been enough to earn a raised brow and a laughter from his friend and Lorenz had to remind himself to let Ferdinand know to apologize for finding amusement in his struggle.
In the moment, that had been far removed from his mind indeed when the other had remarked how well he and Claude had gotten along lately.
Though, he could hardly blame him for that. It was true after all.
Lorenz couldn’t pinpoint down when it had happened, but somewhere between the beginning of the war and the approaching end of it, they had become…. closer.
One might even say, they had gained each others trust. Claude was a talented leader, even Lorenz had to admit as much. If he was in a particularly good mood - which he undoubtedly was in his current state - he’d even catch himself thinking that Claude would be perfect to lead Fódlan.
Recently, they had conversed quite a lot - be it tactics of simple small teases and quipps. Lorenz was still desperately trying to outsmart the others' spontaneous comebacks. Sometimes with more success, sometimes with less.
In the end, he had begun talking about Claude quite easily, Ferdinand nodding along with a smile and interest, sipping from his wine now and then.
More compliments than his younger self would ever believe slipped through his lips. Of responsibility, and determination, of clear goals and companionship.
And as he talked more and more, a downright waterfall of praise of Claude, Ferdinand stayed silent.
That is until Lorenz appreciation turns away from Claudes deeds and begins focusing on other aspects. His skill in archery, how his arms had gotten much stronger from having to pull back Failnaughts string, how his posture had changed ever since he started to prefer to fight on top of Wyverns, how his beard - albeit quite ridiculous - accented his jawline perfectly-
Yes, it had taken until the moment that Lorenz mentioned, that he had grown up quite handsomely, before Ferdinand sets down his glass and interrupts him.
More blunt than Lorenz was used to, he had pointed out his own words to him, catching him off guard.
There was nothing he was able to say to defend how he had simply gone on about Claudes smile, his hands, his eyes, the tone of his voice-
Maybe, if Lorenz had been sober, he would have simply asked Ferdinand to stop looking at him with his teasing smile and knowing eyes. Yet, he hadn’t been and still wasn’t, the embarrassment and harsh realization still burning in his chest.
He isn’t certain why he had agreed to finish up their night early and even more so he wonders why he had agreed to give Claude a visit at this hour per Ferdinands suggestion.
It was quite late already, Lorenz heart beating quite fast as he raises his hand to give a soft knock at the wooden door in front of him.
Though, he did find himself in quite a desire to see the others face now, talking about it having sparked the need to see it in the soft glows of the candles lining the hallway. He could tell easily that Claude was still awake, light flickering through the slit under the door.
For a second the light flickers as it gets covered and he could make out the scraping of a chair as Claude approaches the door, soon opening it up, eyebrows already raised before he even knows who it is.
Then again, Lorenz wasn’t even certain how late it was, most likely deep in the night. Being surprised at a visit probably wasn’t the most odd thing to happen.
“Lorenz”, Claude says, voice slow as his eyes travel over his form. “To what do I owe the pleasure in the middle of this fine night?”
The question makes Lorenz cheeks heat up, realizing he probably shouldn’t tell the other he simply wanted to see his face, maybe sit close to him hoping for the touch of the others hand on his shoulder-
“Lorenz? You okay there? Everything alright?”
The careful worry in Claudes voice makes him snap out of his drunken desire. Their eyes meet, the archers previously confused look having turned into one of concern.
“I-“
Calm yourself, Lorenz. Do not think about it too much
“No, I am quite fine - well. Thank you for asking-“, his voice is certainly more unsteady than he would like, but there is a faint hope that Claude might not pick up on it.
But of course he would. He shouldn’t have drank as much as he did.
The flickering candles in the back of the room making him feel warmer than he already was.
The doubt in Claudes eyes makes him want to shiver at the gaze.
“Well- okay. Then what can I do for you, mh?”
“Talk.”, Lorenz says quickly, trying to sound like his usual composed self.
“Gladly, though if that’s really what you want, I think we should take you to Marianne after all.”
There it was, that cursed smirk pulling at the others lips, that Lorenz wished to feel against his own.
He wonders how they would feel if he ran his fingers gently across them-
“With you. Talk with you, I mean. Of course.”, he adds then, walking past Claude and into his room, earning a look from him. “About...things.”
In response, he gets a soft humm as the door is closed behind them, Lorenz being shown to sit down on a chair next to the others work table.
“Talk you say? Most unlike you to choose a private conversation at this hour of the day, but sure. I’m awake after all, lucky you.” Claude says, smiling at him as he sits down himself.
The smile makes Lorenz weak and he was never happier to actually already sit, certain his legs might have given out under him otherwise.
He needs a second to compose himself as well, noting how close they were sitting, knees almost touching-
When had they begun sitting so close to one another? Had become so familiar that they wouldn’t mind-
“Lorenz are you drunk?”
Ah. As perceptive as ever, much to Lorenz displeasure. Of course he would not be able to trick Claude, not in the state he was in at least.
“I am most certainly, very much , not so-“
That did not mean he wouldn’t try.
“Mhhh.”, Claude humms, allowing himself to lean on his hand, giving Lorenz a once over again, another more honest smile creeping on his face. “Sure then, enlighten me Lorenz. What did you want to talk about?”
There it was, the small oversight he had made previously.
Though, then again all of this was a small oversight. Or a big one for that matter.
Why had he come again? Curse Ferdinand.
He knows he’s silent for longer than he intents too, looking at Claudes face, his strong features, his tired yet bright eyes, the way his shirt was partially unbuttoned, allowing Lorenz to peek at his slightly exposed chest-
His hands grip to his pants tightly, keeping himself from reaching out to touch.
“About… the future.”
“The future? Well, then go ahead. What did you have in mind?”
Claude was mocking him, that much was obvious, finding delight in Lorenz ineloquent responses and the way his mind drifts in between them. He’s almost certain Claude knows, simply because he’s leaning back in expectation, looking like he was inviting him to-
“Of- of course.”, Lorenz clears his throat, trying to stay focused on the handsome face and not get distracted anymore. Yet, he couldn’t be sure if this was truly helping or making matters much, much worse for him. “You see, your leadership has been c-certainly impressive-“
“Oh. High praise from Gloucester himself, I’m honored.”
“- and I was wondering if you would- if you needed- if someone at your side was what you wished.”
He winces, his choice of words making him want to hide in the darkest corners of the academy to never return. There was now way he himself was aware what he was saying, but he knew that Claude did, seeing the sudden smirk.
The way he sits up a bit straighter now, shifting, their knees finally touching, Lorenz finally feeling their warmth-
His eyes half lidded with amusement, opening those beautiful lips to speak-
He couldn’t take it anymore.
Lorenz clouded mind was at its breaking point, unable to control his hands and catching up much to late as he reaches out for Claudes loose shirt to pull him in and close-
His lips were as warm as Lorenz had always imagined, even if he would never admit to it, not even drunk and clouded like in this very moment.
Almost desperately, he sighs, own eyes falling close and hands eventually uncurling from the collar of the shirt to let his hands rest on Claude's strong chest-
When he quickly pulls away - his mind finally reacting to what he was doing - his eyes are blown wide in horror, chest filling with dread and anxiety curling into his stomach.
“Claude- I - “
There was nothing he could say, nothing he could think of this quickly to explain his actions - the horror now being what throws him into a loop, no though able to process properly-
Matters are made much worse by Claude’s silence, face almost neutral and it’s maddening how flattering the low flickering candle makes it look even in this very moment.
The moment in which Lorenz’ dread sets in and his throat closes up.
He’s only brought back into the moment when Claude touches his thigh, his neutral expression melting in that oh so well known teasing smile. As if this was not something that bothered him-
Lorenz wants to be struck by lightning or pierced by an arrow-
“If I needed someone by my side you said? Tell me Lorenz, who did you have in mind? Yourself I presume?”There is a calmness in his voice that does not quite fit the teasing tone of it and neither does it match up with the way his thumb was gently brushing over Lorenz knee now. “Tell me, who made you figure it out? Was Hilda finally fed up? Or was it Ferdinand? If I had to guess - and I am quite good at that - I’d say it’s the latter.”
“I- excuse me?”, Lorenz almost pulls away, though he knows he would regret it if he did. So he stays where he is. “I don’t quite- I don’t understand-“
He shakes his head, trying to focus his thoughts, though he only ends up much more dizzy than before.
Especially when Claude moves closer, his other hand moving to brush against Lorenz arm, making his heart burst through his chest. He’s certain of it.
“Oh, come on. The Lorenz Helman Gloucester I know is smart enough to figure out exactly what I mean.”
There’s a moment of silence, maybe two or even three-
Claude knows. Claude had known.
“You- you are horrible-“, Lorenz shrieks, the other simply allowing himself to laugh in response. Though, it is kind.
“Am I? I think that might not be what you really think-“
“Yes- Yes you are, Claude! Horrible and- and deceiving- You knew!”
At this point, Lorenz is almost backed into his chair, Claude incredibly close and touching him - careful and gentle - eyes not leaving his face-
“Are you really that surprised? I’ve always been well known for knowing quite a wide array of things. Too much, you said once, mh?”, he says in response, voice much more quiet now, making Lorenz heart jump again- “Though, I suppose I can admit, I didn’t think it would take you getting drunk to find the confidence. You were usually always so straightforward with everyone else. Makes me feel quite special-“
“You’re horrible-“
“You keep saying that a lot for someone who just kissed me.”
That one causes Lorenz to quiet down and look for words, opening his mouth again but no words come out, simply at a loss.
Much to Claudes amusement, if his small chuckle was anything to go by.
“I- well then what- what is your answer then?”
That question seemed to catch Claude off guard as he pulls back to take a good look at him once more, Lorenz almost wanting to sigh in disappointment at the loss of contact.
“My anwer?”, he asks, head tilted ever so slightly.
“Yes, your answer.”, Lorenz confirms, eyes filled with nervousness all of the sudden, chest filling with the sudden dread from before. “About… having someone at your side.”
He simply couldn’t take the silence anymore, but there it was again.
It made him nervous, his gut turning a bit as he suddenly is aware of rejection. That he could very simply not feel the same, not be interested, not want-
With anxiety coursing through his veins, his heart beats fast and he almost wonders if he is about to pass out from uncertainty-
That is until Claude laughs and leans forward to gently pull Lorenz closer this time, pressing a quick and gentle kiss to his cheek, one of his hands moving to Lorenz to squeeze it tightly, giving him a wink as he leans back that makes his heart stop immediately.
“How about we discuss that tomorrow, mh? It’s late and you and I could use some rest. You more so than me. Don’t want you to loose too much beauty sleep.”, Claude says, giving him that same handsome smirk he always wore, the one he used to get under his skin - in the most pleasant ways.
Maybe it was foolish, but that alone calmed Lorenz nerves, allowing him to take a deep breath as he closes his eyes and nods.
It would be hard to talk about this in the morning, incredibly so and he already knows it will be an array of torture and teasing-
But he also knows that it will be fine. With Claude, it will be fine.
“Yes- yes that- that sounds lovely actually.”
“Then how about I escort you back to your room, like the dear gentleman that I am, mh?”
A roll of Lorenz eyes, followed by a small smile and a nod.
“That would- yes please.”