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You hungry and haunted boy. I know, I know.
You want so badly to feel alive.
You want so badly to be born again.
Their story goes like this: Five isn't the hunter.
But he's the hungry wolf.
A wild animal who's been starving his entire life, who's always looking for a new prey to satisfy his hunger for a few moment before he is hungry and starving once again. He is insatiable and nothing could ever satisfy his interest and attention for long.
Not even Hargreeves and his numerous books and training could keep him occupied for long. And Five knew Reginald tried his best to keep him caged, to keep a leash around his neck and push him to obey the older man's every call and beckon like the rest of his siblings in the Umbrella Academy.
But no one could ever tame a wolf.
Not even time itself could ever keep him caged for long.
At the age of thirteen, he was restless with the burning need to put his own theories regarding his powers to the test. He wanted to see the world outside the mansion they were forced to call home. He wanted to see a world where time and space had no power over him.
Reginald was not pleased to hear about his proposal and for the first time in his life, Five did not hold his tongue as he normally would during an argument with his father. Brutal words were spilled during dinner that evening as the rest of his siblings watched him bare his fangs in anger.
It was the first time Five has ever felt his eyes burn with a kind of rage and intensity that has left him ragged for breath.
He sees Vanya shake her head at him, her face was pale and pleading as she silently begged him to stop and calm down. But Five pays her no mind, too caught up in his own thoughts and ambition to hear reason as he storms off from the dinner table without another backwards glance.
He balls his hands into fists as his mind drifts into deep concentration.
And as if being called forth, he starts to feel the power within him seep into his veins as it began to circle through his entire being.
A bright blue portal opens for him then, and he easily steps inside.
And as soon as he steps out, Five knows he did it.
He was right, the realization makes him giddy with excitement at the prospect of proving his father wrong.
The time, date, and place were he walked was all different and the adrenaline he felt made him walk faster as he felt the corner of his lips tugging into a grin.
He wants to do this again.
And he does.
The next jump takes him to a place so desolate and ruined that it took him longer to realize that he was back at the mansion, or what was left of it. Ash and rubble greet him at every direction and the smoke made him cough loudly, his eyes started to water and he desperately began looking for his family.
No one was left.
He had to dig Luther, Diego, Allison, and Klaus' unmoving bodies out of all the rubble and burry them on his own. Vanya and Ben were nowhere to be found and Five only hoped he doesn't have to burry their bodies as well if he ever finds them. The world as he knew it was gone and as the pinpricks of panic and loneliness began to sink in, Five felt himself scream his throat hoarse.
He howls Vanya's name to the wind the entire evening. The silence answered all his cries like an old friend.
The Temps Commission hires him as an agent one day, years after his time living alone in complete desolation.
They gave him weapons and names, and expect him to have it all taken cared off at the end of the day. The bodies that he's disposed off continue to pile up with each mission he takes and the blood on his hands have dyed his fingers a warm crimson.
For years, he's been labeled a monsterㅡ a beast for his ruthlessness.
The Handler tells him he's got the blood of a killer, that he is just incredibly efficient at what he does best, but Five knows the blood on his hands isn't about being a killer.
He's a wild animal who's been living alone his entire life. A lone wolf who's been away from his pack for a long time. And Five knows he would gorge himself on blood and bones if it meant he'll get to see his family once more.
He takes even more missions as part of his contract in order to get back home. And if each kill labels him a beast to everyone else around him, well, Five doesn't really mind.
It's the only thing a wolf knows how to be.
You can't tame a wolf. Vanya knows this more than anyone.
Everything about Five is brutal: his stare, his attitude, his love.
When Vanya saw him appear right out of the portal after years of disappearance, the first thing she noticed was that the green of his eyes looked even more dangerous than what she remembered.
His face remained the same, and the youthful look easily reopened old wounds inside of her as memories of the past she's long since buried started to resurface. He doesn't tell them much, but he does tell her he's read her book.
"Definitely ballsy, giving up the family secrets."
"They hate me."
"Oh, there are worst things that could happen."
She expected to see resentment in his eyes and waits to hear the anger and criticism in his voice. But instead, he regards her with a lookㅡ something sincere and distant, and so incredibly lonely.
Five leaves the mansion to get himself a cup of coffee after that and Vanya is left rooted from where she stood, wondering what his words meant all on her own.
Five came to visit her apartment unannounced and bleeding.
His gaze is still intense and piercing from where he sat, with one leg folded over his knee as he watched Vanya fiddle with her fingers out of habit from where she stood by the door.
Her obvious shock from seeing him inside her apartment makes him smile at her, all sharp teeth and blood.
"You should have locks on your windows." He says as a way of greeting.
"I live on the second floor."
"Rapists can climb." He answers back with a shrug.
When Vanya sees the blood trailing down his arms, she goes straight for the first aid kit without another word. The frown on her face deepens when she's able to see the open wound closer. Five pulls his uniform sleeve higher to show her the extent of the injury and he offers his arm to her without a single protest.
Vanya considers it a win.
That evening, he tells her about the future.
He tells her about a world of nothingness and a kind of desperation from years of isolation that Vanya couldn't comprehend and she hopes she never have to. She sees the way his eyes gloss over and hears the strain in his voice as he continued his story, noticing how it sounds so far off like he was somewhere else entirely.
She couldn't bring herself to say anything as she watched him continue to relive a memory from a past that was cruel and unkind. She doesn't know how to help him and the realization makes her hands shake.
"The world ends in eight days." Five's quiet confession shakes her from her thoughts. "And I have no Idea how to stop it." The softness in his voice and the surprising show of vulnerability in his eyes weights on her chest and pulls out an ache that she couldn't quite name.
"I'll put on a pot of coffee."
"Wait," Vanya ends up shouting when Five starts to walk for the door. He stops in his tracks and slowly turns back to look at her, waiting for her to continue and she knows she has no time to think about what she's going to tell him, so she lets the first thing in her mind leave her lips. "I haven't seen you in a long time and I don't want to loose you again."
The silence weighs heavily between the two of them and Vanya refuses to look away from him.
"Sorry I left without saying goodbye." Five finally says, his voice cracking at the end of the sentence. And Vanya knows his words are genuine when he finally looks up to meet her eyes unflinchingly.
The apology hurts, and Vanya fights off the tears that are threatening to spill from her eyes as she watched Five leave her once again.
You can't tame a wolf. Vanya knows this more than anyone.
But it can still call you home.