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I don’t care if the house is packed, or the strings of light are broken.
I don’t care if the gifts are wrapped, or there’s nothing here to open.
I don’t care if the carpet's stained; we've got food upon our table.
I don’t care if it’s gonna rain, our little room is warm and stable.
(Love is Christmas)
Winter 2011
Three days until Christmas
The realtor hands Castiel their copy of the paperwork and tips the key to the house into Dean’s palm. After shaking both their hands, she smiles, wishes them good luck and begins picking her way down the sidewalk, sidestepping the cracks and navigating carefully around the overgrown shrubs. Dean and Castiel are left standing in front of their new house, the charm of being new homeowners casting a glamour over the faded paint on the trim, the scraggly yard covered in wilted weeds and the dingy, outdated windows. They grin at one another, glad they’re finally home.
Castiel had been content to continue living in an apartment, but the place they were living had become too small for all of their belongings. Plus, the landlord had been kind of an asshole, and Dean was sure the man had started being rude to them because he realized they were together. On the other hand, Dean had begun talking about wanting to fix up a house, to have some room for woodworking projects and plant a garden. The more they had talked about it, sketching out plans for a vegetable garden and discussing the benefits of carpet versus hardwood floors, the more excited Castiel had become.
They were lucky Dean had wanted a fixer-upper, since that was all they could afford, in the end.
The cold December wind nips at their cheeks and they both pull their scarves tighter around their necks. As they step onto the creaky front porch, Castiel takes a deep breath while Dean unlocks the door and they step inside. Empty rooms echo their footsteps back at them and the sense of possibility is almost overwhelming. Castiel can picture where the furniture might go - once Sam shows up with the moving truck - and makes a note of places they might hang the few framed paintings they have. A friend of theirs from school, Anna, had offered to paint them some new pieces for their new house and Castiel can see they’ll need it.
The house is one story, which was one of Dean’s preferences as his knees had begun to bother him and he didn’t want to deal with going up and down the stairs all the time. The front door opens into the living room with its large fireplace (that had been on Castiel’s wish list), and Cas frowns at the ugly carpet - he’d forgotten just how green it is. Dean laughs at his expression and promises again that it will be the first thing he fixes, since he knows there’s hardwood under the ridiculous shag carpet.
Through a large archway is the kitchen and the dining room, lovingly painted with brightly colored flowers all over the walls. Although they don’t live all that close to Sam and their other friends anymore, they plan on hosting plenty of get-togethers once they get settled in, and the kitchen satisfies Dean’s requirements for cooking large meals for friends and family.
It had been a hard decision to move to a new part of town, but the area is quiet and most of the houses are well-maintained. It’s close to Cas’ school and the commute to Dean’s job at the garage won’t be too long. They’d already met one of their neighbors, an elderly woman who promised to bake them a pie when they moved in, immediately endearing her to Dean.
Moving through the house, Castiel opens the doors to the extra bedrooms, shivering at the cold air that flows out. He’s planning to use the room at the back of the house that looks out over the yard as his study, complete with shelves and a nice desk - when they have some extra cash for it, that is. In the meantime he will use the cheap desk from Ikea they bought a few years ago. Dean offered to build him a desk and some shelves, but of course he doesn’t have a lot of spare time these days, now that Cas has started school again and Dean is the one earning money for them. Once they start fixing up the house, funds will be even tighter. Castiel applied for a job at a nearby bookstore and hopes the extra income will allow Dean to take it easy once in awhile.
Going back out to the main area of the house, he helps Dean carry in the few things they had packed in the Impala: mostly bathroom stuff and a couple knickknacks to decorate the bedroom. Their master bedroom is large enough for a king-sized bed - no more elbowing each other in the middle of the night, feet hanging off the end of the mattress - and there’s a large closet with enough room for all their clothes. They even have a small master bathroom, complete with a robin’s egg blue counter, sink and toilet, vestiges of the 70s.
Cas had brought his laptop with him in the car, not wanting to let it out of his sight now that he’s finally started his dissertation. There is so much research on that hard drive, the loss thereof would set him back significantly, and so he hangs onto it tightly. Dean gives him a fond look, rolling his eyes playfully.
“You’d think you love that thing more than me, Cas,” Dean teases.
“Hmph,” is all Cas says as he sets the computer down on the kitchen counter.
Contemplating lighting a fire in the fireplace to stave off the chill, Castiel realizes that they don’t have any wood to use. There is a long list of things they do not have at the moment, including any decorations for Christmas - which is three days away - above and beyond the decorative candles Dean had purchased a few years ago and some sad strands of tinsel stashed away in a box somewhere.
The mantle on the fireplace will be a great place to hang stockings and maybe even arrange some trendy decorations along the top. He’s been exploring Pinterest in the past few months, dreaming of the space and freedom they’ll have to make the house their own.
Dean comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and they stand together looking at the empty room until they hear the brakes of the moving truck squeaking outside. They take a simultaneous deep breath and Dean goes to the door, letting his brother in as he hurries up the walk, pulling a hat down over his ears.
“All right, let’s get this shit moved, I have a date,” Sam says shortly. He’s not the world’s biggest fan of moving, especially in the cold. Cas can’t blame him, of course. They would have been able to move almost a month earlier if their loan paperwork hadn’t been held up by the bank.
“Ooooh hot date” Dean says in a ridiculous tone, but pulls on his own coat and follows Sam.
Six hours later, Cas and Dean are alone again, surrounded by boxes and hastily arranged furniture. Too tired to think about making dinner, they order a pizza and Dean smiles when he gives their new address to them for delivery.
“Think we’ll ever get used to owning our own house?” Dean asks as they settle in to wait for their dinner.
“No, I don’t think I will. I hope not anyway; that way we can always appreciate the fact that it’s ours,” Castiel answers thoughtfully.
After eating far more pizza than was probably wise, Cas gets up to move the couch, but it proves to be too much work.
“Don’t worry about that, we’ll get it straightened out tomorrow,” Dean says. “Let’s go use the rest of our energy on setting up the bed.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, but they both pass out as soon as the sheets and comforter are on.
Two days until Christmas
When they roll out of bed the next morning, they start moving furniture around and get most of the main living area sorted out. After a quick lunch of leftover pizza, Dean decides that they absolutely must decorate for Christmas, despite having next to no decorations and Christmas Eve is tomorrow. Cas attempts to reason with him, explaining that there will likely be slim pickings on decorations in the shops in town and they have other things to worry about at the moment.
The tipping point comes when Dean reveals that he wants a tree as well and says with a sly grin, “Wouldn’t it make our first Christmas in our new home special?” Castiel finally gives in, throwing his hands in the air.
They go to every store in the immediate area, buying the last three sets of sparkling lights and a box of ornaments from a dollar store, and as a collection of cheap looking little stockings from the craft store. The only other dollar store in town is thoroughly picked over and has no decorations whatsoever.
Castiel insists on stopping at the grocery store for food so they don’t starve over the next few days and Dean talks him into buying some scented pine cones displayed in bags by the front door. They grab wood for the fire as well, to Cas’ relief. It was cold in the house that morning, and they’ll need to get someone in to look at their heater before too long.
At last, after the sun has set and the stars begin to appear, they drive around to all the tree lots in town, but none of them have anything that’s just right in Dean’s mind. So they go to the next town over and there they find a tree that isn’t completely pathetic. By the time they get home, Cas can clearly see that Dean isn’t at all happy with the results of their shopping trip.
It doesn’t matter that he saw it coming, Castiel doesn’t say “I told you so,” choosing instead to help Dean set the tree in the one-car garage to warm up and calls to order Chinese food for dinner.
After they eat, they decorate the mantle on the fireplace with a string of lights and stockings. The smile on Dean’s face as they build a fire and sit back on the couch makes this stressful day worth the hassle.
They watch Die Hard on Cas’ laptop before they head to bed, as has been their Christmas tradition for years. When Castiel looks out the window as he’s gathering the blankets to take to bed, he sees that the sky is orange outside and the clouds are hanging low. He shivers and hurries to join Dean in bed.
Christmas Eve
Dean wakes up early the morning before Christmas, determined to get a head start on their shopping for the day, convinced that stores in the next town will have enough decorations to make their home festive. He also begins to make a list of things to get for dinner, claiming he’d like to make them a special Christmas Eve meal. They shower and get dressed, and as Cas is making coffee he glances out the window in the kitchen. His eyes go wide.
“Um, Dean,” he starts.
“Yeah?” he hears Dean answer from down the hall in the bedroom.
“I don’t think we’re going anywhere today…” he says, hesitantly.
“Why not?”
“Just… look.”
Dean comes up behind him, and his gaze follows Cas’ pointed finger out the window.
There is at least a foot of snow on the ground and thick flakes are still falling.
“Wow.” Dean doesn’t sound as disappointed as Cas thought he would; in fact he sounds reverent. Turning back around to look at his boyfriend, he sees that Dean is smiling and his eyes are sparkling. “That’s a lot of snow. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a white Christmas.”
Cas begins to see that it wasn’t about the decorations themselves, after all. Dean wanted to feel like the day was special and celebrate the fact that they’re together in their own house.
Excitedly, Dean runs back to the bedroom, coming out with two thick pairs of socks and tosses a pair to Cas. After yanking on his own socks, Dean goes to the closet and starts to pull on his coat and mittens.
“Come on, Cas, let’s go play in the snow,” Dean insists when Castiel doesn’t do anything but stare at the socks in his hand.
“That sounds really cold,” he tries to protest.
“Don’t you want to build a snowman, be a kid again?” Dean asks with a grin. His expression falls when he sees Castiel’s shrug. “Didn’t you build snowmen and have snowball fights when you were a kid?”
“Not really. My parents didn’t want me to get sick,” Castiel says, sitting down on the couch and putting on the socks. There’s a lot he missed out on during his childhood and Dean has always been understanding about that, never making fun of him for not knowing the rules of a game or understanding a pop culture reference.
“Well, I’ll show you what it’s all about,” Dean promises. He helps Cas into his coat and they bustle out the door.
Outside, it feels like the world is holding its breath. Every sound is muted as more snow continues to fall from the dull grey sky. Dean tips his head back, sticking his tongue out, and laughs when a snowflake lands on it. His eyes bright, he steps over to Cas and pulls him into a kiss; Castiel can still feel the tiny spot of cold lingering on Dean’s tongue.
They roll up balls of snow to make a snowman, decorating it with a raggedy scarf and some sticks for arms. It’s cold and Cas is sweating uncomfortably under his coat, but it’s the most fun he’s had in a long time.
While they’re tossing snowballs at each other, Dean’s phone rings. Fumbling to get his mittens off, he answers just in time and it’s Sam, wondering how they’re doing. Cas watches as Dean enthuses about the snow and feels like his grin might freeze on his face.
Dean’s cheeks are rosy from the wind when they finally go back inside and Castiel’s hands are so cold he can barely move them. They light a fire and stand in front of it, feeling the warmth seep back into their limbs with pins and needles. Both of their pants are soaked from playing in the snow, so they change into warm flannel pajama pants.
“Time for hot chocolate!” Dean announces and goes into the kitchen to start warming up the milk. With a grin, Castiel pulls the couch closer to the fire and then finds all their blankets stashed in various boxes around the house. They meet back up in the living room, falling onto the couch with happy sighs.
Watching the flames dance and the fairy lights on the mantle twinkle as he sips his cocoa, he contemplates how he’s more in the Christmas spirit now than he can ever remember from when he was growing up.
Once he’s done with his drink, Cas leans over and kisses Dean’s cheek and Dean laughs at how cold Cas’ nose still is. Tucking Cas’ face into his shoulder, Dean pulls him in close.
“We’re missing something,” Cas says quietly after a few minutes, his voice muffled against Dean’s shirt.
“What do you mean?” Dean says, and Castiel can hear that familiar note of self-doubt in his partner’s voice.
“I mean, it would really feel like Christmas if we had a tree in here.”
“Well, you’re in luck!” Dean springs to his feet, jostling Castiel off his shoulder. “We just happen to have one of those.”
Castiel shakes his head and laughs, picking up their empty mugs and taking them into the kitchen. He hears some heavy breathing and the scratching of pine needles along the wall from the garage to the front room, and then a triumphant “there we go!”
Grabbing the other two boxes of lights they’d purchased the day before off the kitchen table, he goes back in to see Dean fluffing the branches of the trees with a grin on his face. He stands for a moment, reflecting on how much he loves this man, before Dean notices he’s there and gestures for the boxes. Together they string the lights around the tree until it’s sparkling with multicolored bulbs.
They find the tattered strands of tinsel and drape them over the tree branches, where they reflect the shining lights. Dean hangs the few ornaments on carefully chosen branches and then they step back, admiring their work.
“It could be better,” Dean says, uncertain.
“It’s perfect.” Cas insists. He leans in and kisses Dean, then moves to stoke the fire. He settles back into the couch, pulling the blankets around him and over his face to warm his nose. Dean piles more blankets on top of Cas and then throws some over himself. Dean’s arms snake around his chest and they sit wrapped up together.
A few hours later, Castiel wakes up with a crick in his neck and sees the fire has almost gone out. Dean is snoozing beside him and he watches him breathe steadily, lit by the lights on the tree. Finally, he nudges him awake and he looks around, confused about why they’re on the couch still. Cas laughs, kissing away the crease between Dean’s brows.
Pulling him to his feet, he leads Dean to the bedroom, snagging a few of the blankets as he goes. Barely awake, Dean strips down until he’s naked, slipping under the covers as Cas turns on their space heater and then he undresses, joining Dean in bed. Cas fits himself against Dean’s back where he’s curled into a ball trying to get warm, reveling in the feel of skin on skin.
After a few minutes, they have a cushion of warm air surrounding them and Dean breathes deep, pushing closer to Cas. He snakes an arm around Dean’s chest, pulling him in tight and he hears Dean hiss as Cas brushes cold fingers along his ribs.
“Merry Christmas,” Dean says as they’re about to fall asleep.
“Merry Christmas, Dean. I love you.” Castiel turns over to lie on his back and Dean scoots over against him.
“Love you too.”
Christmas Day
The next morning, they open their few presents that are under the tree after a breakfast of bacon and eggs. Cas had gotten him a book about home renovation and gardening, and Dean had gotten him books about beekeeping. They both have new sweaters and some socks, courtesy of Charlie and her new knitting habit.
Outside, the world is bright, the snow sparkling like diamonds in the winter sun. Even though the roads are clear and they could probably venture out if they wanted, they choose to spend the day together, just the two of them in their new home.