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Mercy of Kalr was docked with Athoek Station. The ship needed some supplies and due to continued crowding on Station, the crew was all living on board for a while.
There was something so deeply familiar about the first step into a decade room early in the morning that sometimes for an abrupt moment I felt like I was still in the past. Still myself, my full self. It was a simple action, one I had done so, so many times, with each of my ancillaries, several times a day, every day for my almost two thousand years. It was disconcerting, that feeling, but not entirely unwelcome.
Today I led the morning prayer and then settled into my seat, waiting for Kalr Five to bring my tea and breakfast. Seivarden sat opposite me, as usual not very talkative this early in the morning, which was fine with me. I found that I enjoyed the companionable silence. We were partway through eating when Sphene arrived and joined us. Sphene had shown no inclination to return to her own ship and seemed to keep an irregular schedule, which I thought was a little odd for an ancillary but wasn’t about to say so.
“What adventure do you have planned for us today, Cousin?” Sphene asked, her tone as steady as always.
I swallowed a bite of pastry and said, “More meetings with the provisional government. But first I need to stop by the Temple. It’s high time I officially change my name.”
I had only accepted the surname of Mianaai because it came with a ship and a mission that I wanted to go on anyway. And I really didn’t have much choice in the matter. Now that the political situation had changed so dramatically and the only other Mianaai in the system was locked up, indefinitely, I was free to be rid of the name.
Sphene nodded approvingly.
“What are you going to change it to?” Seivarden asked.
“I’m not sure,” I said. I’d only thought of doing it that morning.
“You’d better think of something now. Knowing how dreadful your imagination is, if you wait until you’re on the Temple steps, you’ll end up with something awful,” Sphene said helpfully.
“Oh, I know the perfect thing!” Seivarden grinned.
“Yes?” I asked, waiting for her to continue. She was clearly drawing out the suspense.
“Fleet Captain Breq Vendaai has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?”
I raised an eyebrow. Not what I had expected.
Seivarden continued, “I would have to come with you to the Temple and sign the documents, give official approval from a senior Vendaai.” She said that as if it meant something, as if her house was something that existed beyond herself. Not presumptuous at all.
“So that would make me…what? Your sister? Is that what you’re suggesting?” I asked, my expression perfectly innocent. It was a little cruel to tease her that way, but she had walked right into it.
Seivarden’s confident grin dropped so fast that I almost laughed out loud. She quickly backtracked, “Well…not exactly…”
Sphene cut in, “Oh yes, I like this idea! That would make us cousins!” She put a friendly arm around Seivarden’s shoulder.
“No, that’s not…” She trailed off, hesitant to offend Sphene, but not thrilled with the sudden familiarity either. Seivarden clearly had not thought this through at all. She used her fork to spear a large bite of food and took her time chewing, glaring at me across the table.
“I do appreciate the offer, Lieutenant,” I said graciously, trying to take a little of the sting away from my teasing, “But I’m sure I’ll think of something appropriate.”
“Fleet Captain?” It was Kalr Five. From the way she looked slightly into the middle distance before speaking, I guessed that she was speaking for Ship. “Why not keep it simple? Fleet Captain Breq Toren.”
I thought for a moment. “Yes, I think that will do.” I was a little embarrassed that I hadn’t thought of that myself.
Seivarden finally smiled again and nodded her approval.
“Really, Cousin? Naming yourself after a god?” Sphene commented. She shook her head in dismay, “How blasphemous.”
I gave her a look and declined to respond. I put the last bite of pastry in my mouth and washed it down with tea.
“I like it,” Seivarden said, “Breq Toren. It’ll be nice to finally be able to use your original name again after all this time, or part of it anyway.”
“You know, Translator Zeiat is going to be very confused when she meets you again and you have a different name,” Sphene said. “Or whoever they send in her place.”
I had rather hoped that getting rid of the name Mianaai would prevent a lot of potential confusion at the upcoming Presger conclave, but Sphene did have a point.
“If it is Translator Zeiat, she’s going to be confused anyway when she sees me with my leg regrown,” I said.
“True,” Sphene conceded.
Seivarden didn’t seem to be paying attention to this exchange. She was smirking behind her bowl of tea. I didn’t have to wait long to find out why.
“Fleet Captain,” she said, her tone more formal than necessary, “after you finish at the Temple, we should have a Naming Ceremony. It would only be proper.”
Sphene immediately perked up, “A Naming Ceremony? Is that what I think it is?”
“After a formal name declaration, it’s traditional to have a small gathering with sweet tea and cakes. There’s colorful streamers and people make toasts,” Seivarden explained.
“How festive! We must do it for the Fleet Captain!” Sphene declared, possibly more animated than I’d ever seen her, aside from when she was talking about throttling the Usurper. “It’s only tradition! Cousin, you deserve to have a Naming Ceremony!”
From the back of the room, I heard an abrupt snickering, quickly stifled.
“The Naming Ceremony,” I said levelly, “is only done for very small children. Not for a simple name change.”
Sphene was unfazed, “Oh, I’m sure we can adapt it for the occasion.”
I glared across the table at Seivarden. Well played, Lieutenant. I supposed I deserved that, for earlier, but I needed to put a stop to this before it truly got out of hand.
Before I could say anything, Kalr Five appeared at my side again.
“Begging the Fleet Captain’s indulgence,” she began, clearly speaking for herself this time, “May I remind the Fleet Captain that since we departed Omaugh Palace in such a rush, we never performed a Commissioning Ceremony. Since this is your first command, it would only be proper…”
Her confidence seemed to faulter a little at the end. Somehow I got the feeling that this wasn’t the first time the idea had occurred to her, and she’d only been waiting for the right opening.
I suppressed the urge to sigh. “No, I don’t think a Radchaai military ceremony would be appropriate at all.” Considering we had recently defected from the Radchaai military.
Kalr Five did a commendable job of keeping her expression even, but her shoulders slumped a fraction and the light went out of her eyes. I belatedly realized it had taken a lot for her to approach me so directly.
“Nonsense, Cousin!” Sphene waved a hand dismissively, “We’ll simply adapt the ceremony. If you intend to serve as the military force for this Provisional Republic, then you will need new traditions.”
Ship spoke in my ear, “I’ve never had a new Captain take command without some version of a Commissioning Ceremony, even during annexations. It always boosts crew morale.”
Wonderful, now even Mercy of Kalr was getting involved. At least it was speaking to me directly and not so the others could hear.
Seivarden was looking at me expectantly and her smile was so warm, all her previous mischief replaced by affection. The tumult of the past few weeks had taken a toll on all the crew, but Seivarden had taken the brunt of it. She’d already been suffering an emotional crisis when I’d sent her on what had almost been a suicide mission.
I decided in that moment that I would allow a party. I would even bring out a few bottles of my good arrack. And I’d put Kalr Five in charge of planning the whole thing, that way she could make sure everyone knew it had been her idea.
But I certainly wasn’t going to concede in front of them. I needed to maintain some shred of dignity and propriety on this ship. Better to let them stew for a while.
“I will take the proposal into consideration,” I said, then got up and left without another word.
As I walked towards the airlock, I told myself I wouldn’t but then I reached and Ship showed me the scene in the decade room, through Five’s eyes.
Sphene had a faint smile on her face. “Don’t worry, she’ll come around.”
Kalr Five pretended to ignore her, instead focusing on clearing the dishes, feeling dismayed.
“I can read my cousin better than she thinks,” Sphene continued, just the smallest hint of smugness in her voice, “The Lieutenant’s charm worked flawlessly.”
Seivarden rose from her seat, the perfect picture of aristocratic indifference, “Sphene, I’m quite sure I have no idea what you are referring to.”