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Chapter Text

The first time Chuuya used Corruption was when he was fifteen, just three months after he joined the Port Mafia. He and Dazai were on a mission sent by Mori, it was supposed to be an easy one, eliminate a small gang that was stealing supplies from one of the warehouses Port Mafia owned.

Small was an understatement, they were expecting more or less 30 people but was surprised to find that they were about 70 members, and most of them were ability users which caused a big problem for the two men. They were far outnumbered, and yet Dazai still chose to stay and fight. By the time half of the members were gone, Dazai was on the ground, a gunshot wound on his leg, and Chuuya, soaked with his own blood and the blood of the gang members. He was on the verge of passing out.

Chuuya was completely used and beaten up but he couldn’t stop fighting, he couldn’t stop killing, it was as if he was losing control of himself, of his ability, and he could feel something inside of him rattling, shaking, trying to break loose, and he was exhausted. He just wanted this to be done, he felt himself slowly give in into this power, into this entity inside of him, until he felt it slowly taking over his body.

He looked at his hands, red and black lines swirled around his arms and he could feel it, spreading on his body, he could feel his ability getting stronger, getting restless inside of him, and then he was out. He could see everything but he couldn’t control it, he couldn’t even think. His mind was blank, all he could hear were screams, and a laugh, his laugh but it didn’t sound like him. It was painful, everything was painful, pain, pain, pain. It was everywhere, he could feel his body tearing apart from the power. It was too much for him.

After an excruciating time passed by, he felt a hand hold his wrist, a familiar touch, and it was enough for it to stop whatever took control of his body. When his ability was fully nullified, he fell on his knees, his whole body numb. He looked beside him, and he met wide eyes staring into him, surprise and worry filled them. That was the first time he saw Dazai show a genuine emotion.

“Chuuya, are you okay? What the hell was that?” Dazai asked, kneeling beside him. Chuuya fell flat on Dazai’s lap. His head was spinning, he couldn’t move a muscle, and he just wanted to pass out. He tried to answer Dazai but he was too exhausted to even move his mouth. He felt Dazai’s hand rest on top of his head, slightly patting his head.

“Chuuya, you can rest now.” Dazai soothed, his fingers playing with Chuuya’s hair. Chuuya hummed in reply, his eyes dropping, Dazai was still saying something but he passed out before he could even understand what he said.

Chuuya woke up two days after he first used Corruption, Kouyou was sitting beside Chuuya’s bed inside the Port Mafia’s infirmary. Kouyou filled in him with everything that happened. Chuuya has killed everyone in that gang, even destroying their hideout in the process. Dazai was able to nullify him before everything got worse. Kouyou asked what it was, where it came from, and why was he only able to use it now. Even Chuuya didn’t know what it was, but the only thing that comes in mind was Arahabaki. That whatever power that was, it came from Arahabaki.

Mori, to say the least, was not happy, he was ecstatic about learning of his newfound ability. He was excited in sending off Chuuya and Dazai to missions when Chuuya was fully healed. Mori said that whatever that power was, it was going to help them, the Port Mafia, take full control of Yokohama. It was strong enough, maybe even more, to let Mori have more power and control in the Mafia.

“Chuuya…” Kouyou trailed off, her features still as poised as ever, void of any emotions but her voice was laced with uncertainty.

“Yes, Ane-san?” Chuuya asked, slightly tilting his head questioningly.

“This new ability you discovered, it’s very powerful. It is probably the most powerful ability the Mafia has right now aside from Dazai’s. It might even give the Mafia an upper hand in this city but it’s a liability to you, boy.” Kouyou explained, looking straight at Chuuya, indicating that she was serious. Chuuya didn’t understand what she meant by it being a liability when it’s his ability to begin with.

“A liability?” Chuuya asked, looking at Kouyou with a perplexed look. How can his own ability be a problem for him? Is it because he couldn’t control it? He can train more, maybe he could even ask Dazai for help.

“Look at what it did to your body.” Kouyou said dryly, looking over Chuuya’s body as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Ane-san, it’s the first time I used this, maybe if I train more–” Chuuya tried to protest, realizing that having this kind of power can not only benefit the Mafia but it can also benefit Chuuya, he could rise up the ranks. He could be given a permanent place in the Mafia and not just be a pawn that would be thrown out when he has served his purpose but Kouyou cut him off before he could expound more.

“It’s killing you.” Kouyou snapped, her voice firm yet loud in the large room. Chuuya flinched at Kouyou’s voice. She was strict, ruthless and even brutal but never to Chuuya.  In the three months he has known Kouyou, she never once snapped at Chuuya like this. She has always kept herself steady, not showing any emotions like a true Mafioso would do. She has always held herself with so much grace and dignity.

“W-What?’ Chuuya stuttered. His head suddenly felt light-headed. Killing him? What? How could his own ability be able to kill him? Several questions were running through Chuuya’s mind. Chuuya is fully aware that there is an entity is inside of him but Upon the Tainted Sorrow was his.

“Chuuya, like I said, it is indeed powerful but it is too much even for you. Your body can’t take it. It’s draining your life until you die of exhaustion.” Kouyou explained carefully, taking Chuuya’s hands into hers, stroking gently the back of his palm with her soft hands. Kouyou was trying to comfort Chuuya, this was the first time she did this.

“What are you talking about, Ane-san?” Chuuya pressed. Chuuya was now confused than ever, how can his own ability be draining his life? Is it really possible for a person to die of exhaustion by using your own ability? Chuuya has never heard of an instance like this. He knew that using the new power he acquired was painful, no doubt about that, but dying? Now, that’s something else.

“The moment you use that power, it’s already killing you from the inside, and the longer you use it, the more it drains your life. The records showed internal bleeding, Chuuya. You lost a lot of blood. I didn’t want to tell you this because Dazai asked to but you barely even used your new ability for 5 minutes, and blood was leaking from your mouth, nose, ears, and eyes. Good thing Dazai was smart to realize that you were practically dying out there and had stopped it before it got even worse.” Kouyou sighed. Chuuya just looked at Kouyou in shock, his mouth slightly agape, and his mind slowly trying to process and understand what Kouyou just said.

He was left speechless, all he could think of is how ironic everything is. He came into this world partly because of Arahabaki and yet he’s going to die if he uses Arahabaki’s power. He wanted to laugh out loud at the irony.

“Chuuya, you’re already exceptional with your gravity manipulation alone, and I heard you’re training very well in martial arts. You’re still young, you can improve more without using that power. We can’t have you dying because of something you couldn’t control, it’s not worth it. As much as possible, if you can, try not to tap into that kind of power again. Only use it when you have no other choice left.” Kouyou continued, letting go of Chuuya’s hands. Kouyou then stood up from her chair, slowly walking towards the door, before she can open the door, she stopped and looked back at Chuuya.

“Do you understand, Chuuya? That is an order from me.” Kouyou said, her voice stern and unwavering, implying that whatever excuse or reason Chuuya would try to justify right now would just be futile.

“Yes, Ane-san.” Was all Chuuya could say. He still had a lot of questions, but he knew it would only be ignored. He slowly laid back in bed, he was exhausted, his body still in pain, and his head spinning from what he just learned from Kouyou. He closed his eyes, sleep overcoming him.

Chuuya stayed for a week inside the infirmary, and in that week, Dazai never visited him even once. He couldn’t even leave the infirmary because his body was still sore from using Corruption. He wanted to talk to Dazai, to ask what really happened that night so he could understand. He even asked Kouyou to let Dazai visit him, but he still hadn’t come.

Chuuya couldn’t stop thinking about what Kouyou said to him. Losing his life didn’t scare Chuuya. He knew from the start that at some point he would die, and the way he’s living his life right now, being in the Mafia, and going into missions that could possibly kill him was already a given. He knew that even way before he joined Port Mafia, when he was still with the Sheep that he would eventually die.

What scared Chuuya, well he’s not really scared but something that made him on edge, was the fact that he himself was the one who could kill him. It wasn’t the guns, or the knives, or even an ability but it was himself that could take away his life. He didn’t care much about his life or his humanity but dying because of himself, because of his ability was something he would never ever choose to do. It was practically suicide, and he will never accept or forgive himself for dying like that.

It took Chuuya three full weeks to heal and yet Dazai had not visited him even once, he didn’t even see Dazai when he was called in by Mori and Kouyou to talk about future missions and plans for him and Dazai. He even texted Dazai asking where he was and if they could talk, but Dazai never replied. He spent the two weeks in his room, reading or researching more about Arahabaki. Mori was kind enough to give him some information about the reports of Arahabaki from the government lab before.

Chuuya stopped texting Dazai after the second week, he never called Dazai even once because texting and calling are two different things, and calling means he really wants to talk to him and he didn’t want to give Dazai that satisfaction, not that Chuuya really wants to talk to him. He just wanted to know what happened that night. He didn’t want to seem desperate to see or to talk to Dazai. Fuck Dazai, Chuuya wasn’t going to chase after him.

It was hell being with Dazai. Spending almost every day of the week together ever since he joined the Port Mafia. They would bicker endlessly. Arguing and shouting most of the time that Kouyou nearly shouted at the two of them to shut the fuck up because they were too loud and annoying. They have been fighting more physically ever since they started training together, well Chuuya was the one mostly training while Dazai would just sit but he would spar with Chuuya all the time.

It has been four months since Chuuya met Dazai and yet he still couldn’t understand him. He couldn’t understand why Dazai wore so many bandages on his face and body, or the fact that he always had new injuries every week makes Chuuya wonder where he got them when Chuuya has always been by his side most of the times and Dazai rarely gets injured when they go out on missions. He couldn’t understand why Dazai always seem so insincere towards everyone, like he doesn’t care about anyone at all. He couldn’t understand why Dazai looks at everything with that stupid empty, dull, cold eye. So uninterested with the world, with life. He still couldn’t read Dazai, his personality, his emotions, his movements, everything seem so impassive, so artificial, so dead.

Chuuya couldn’t understand how someone alive could be so dead.

Dazai showed up three days after Chuuya was fully healed.

“Chuuya~” Dazai sang, as he barged inside of Chuuya’s room. Chuuya, who was sitting on his bed reading a book, didn’t need to look up to know who it was. He placed down his book and glared at the intruder. Dazai walked towards the bed and sat on the edge, looking at Chuuya as if he hadn’t been avoiding Chuuya for three fucking weeks.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Chuuya growled, trying to kick Dazai off the bed. Dazai grabbed ahold of his ankle, Chuuya looked at Dazai and there was a dark glint in his eyes. Chuuya tried to pull it away but Dazai held his ankle firmly and started tickling the sole of his foot. Chuuya was now laughing and writhing on his bed, trying to get out of Dazai’s hold.

“Stop…you…fuck...ing…bastard.” Chuuya choked in between laughs. Dazai was also laughing as he continued to tickle Chuuya’s foot. Chuuya looked at Dazai, and he could tell that his laugh was a genuine one, he was like a kid. Chuuya realized that Dazai rarely act like his age, he was always so cold, so cruel to everyone but he can’t help but notice that Dazai acted like a kid whenever he was with Chuuya.

“Chuuya, didn’t you miss me? I know you missed me. It’s written all over your face.” Dazai said teasingly, finally releasing Chuuya’s foot. As soon as he released it, Chuuya smacked Dazai with his pillow, adding weight to it by using his ability. Dazai nullified it as soon as he touched the pillow but Chuuya kept on smacking him.

“What the fuck is your problem? You fucking waste of bandages.” Chuuya shouted, while Dazai plopped down the bed. Chuuya scanned Dazai, he has a new bandage on his left cheek. His arms and necks were covered with freshly wrapped bandaged, it was like he just wrapped new ones before he went to see Chuuya.

“You are the problem, chibi. Is your ass fully healed now? You were in bed for three whole weeks, sleeping, jacking off, and probably doing nothing but research about Arahabaki while I was out there alone, doing missions alone, cleaning up messes alone. You’re supposed to be the one doing all the work, not me.” Dazai whined, rolling his eyes. He put his palms on his cheeks, resting his arms on the bed, while Chuuya was glaring daggers at him.

“Fuck you, Dazai. I’m not your dog.”

“Ah, I’m not interested in fucking you, and is that how you talk to your Executive?” Dazai smirked. Chuuya never snapped his neck that fast, he thought he was going to break it. He looked at Dazai with wide eyes, but with a scrunched up face showing he doesn’t believe a word he says.

“Executive my ass.” Chuuya spat but Dazai’s smirk got bigger, his dark brown eyes glinting in the dim room. Chuuya didn’t know if Dazai was actually happy about it or he was just showing off to Chuuya.

“Well, while you were acting like Sleeping Beauty, Mori-san rewarded me for all the hard work I did these past few weeks.” Dazai said smugly, sticking his tongue out. Chuuya glanced at him and despite the fake cheerfulness in Dazai’s voice, he was really serious about being an Executive.

Chuuya is fully aware of how intelligent yet cunning Dazai is, another thing he couldn’t understand is how Dazai’s brain works. For a fifteen year old boy, he was too sharp and quick-witted. He was too smart for a kid. Always masking his true intentions with that cold demeanor, always three steps ahead of others. Dazai will always be the greatest mystery to Chuuya.

“Got nothing to say? Not even a congratulations?” Dazai cooed, resting his chin on his arms, looking back up to Chuuya.

“No. What are you doing here?” Chuuya groaned, standing up from his bed, walking towards his small refrigerator to drink some water. All that laughing got him thirsty. He looked back at Dazai who still lying on his bed, who was already looking straight at him.

“You were the one texting me day and night to come talk to you, so I’m here!” Dazai exclaimed happily, as if that would make Chuuya happy.

“I did not text you day and night, bastard, and the last time I texted you was more than a week ago.” Chuuya spat out. After weeks of not hearing from Dazai, instead of wanting to talk to Dazai about what happened that night, he just felt annoyed.

“It’s the same thing, Chuuya~” Dazai sang, sitting up from the bed. His face suddenly turning serious. “So it’s really killing you, huh?”

Chuuya shrugged, “You already know that.”

“I thought you were just bleeding from being beaten up. I realized after calling your name over and over again that you couldn’t hear me. It was like you were possessed. Laughing all manically, and you kept throwing all those big gravitons around even though everyone was dead.” Dazai continued on, his face blank, showing no emotions. It was like he didn’t care about what happened. Well, that was Dazai for you.

Chuuya just listened, not commenting on what Dazai was saying. Maybe he was indeed possessed by Arahabaki’s power, swallowing him whole until there was nothing left of him.

“And I realized that I’m the only who can stop whatever that was. I’m the only who can stop you from dying.” Dazai said smugly with a hint of satisfaction, a smirk growing from his lips, which made Chuuya realized something.

If he had to use that power, he had to put his life on Dazai’s hands. He had to trust Dazai with his life. He had to trust Dazai to stop him from dying. He had to trust Dazai. Osamu Dazai who is a fucking bastard, a cold and cruel one.

“Your life is in my hands which means I practically own you. You’re mine, Chuuya~” Dazai said the words more seriously than they sounded, which made Chuuya actually laugh out loud not because it was funny because it was fucked up how Dazai said that.

The thing is Chuuya didn’t know how he activated Arahabaki’s power that night, so there is this lingering possibility that he can activate it without him knowing which means he actually needs Dazai around especially during missions because like Dazai said, his life was in Dazai’s hands. Even though Chuuya hated that the fact that Dazai was the only person who could save him from dying, he had no choice but to try and trust him.

“You don’t fucking own me.” Chuuya snarled, which made Dazai grin mischievously. He brought his right hand up, and placed his thumb and forefinger on his chin, acting as if he was thinking about something.

“Hmmm, maybe I’ll let you die.” Dazai taunted. Chuuya walked towards Dazai, glaring at him as he stopped in front of him. Dazai raised his eyebrows, his eyes glinting, a smirk on that smug face he had on.

Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s neck, slightly choking him, as he looked down straight into Dazai’s brown eyes, their faces a few inches apart from each other, “I’m going to kill you first.” Chuuya seethed through his teeth. He knew Dazai was deliberately riling him up, provoking him, he wanted Chuuya to explode.

“Oooh, so Chuuya’s into this kind of stuff, huh, didn’t expect that from you. Oh well, since you’re already choking me, how about you choke me harder, daddy?” Dazai moaned, raising his head up, which almost closed the distance between them. Chuuya, flustered from what Dazai said, released his hands from Dazai’s neck.

“Get the fuck out.” Chuuya snapped, as he faced away from Dazai. He could feel the heat rising on his face. His hand slightly twitching from what just happened. He didn’t expect Dazai saying something like that to him, and he hadn’t even realize that their faces were too close from each other until Dazai moved his face.

“Aww, is Chuuya blushing?” Dazai laughed, but Chuuya wasn’t having it. He looked at Dazai again, and he was already staring right at Chuuya, an amused look on his face, his already dark brown eyes even darker.

“Get the fuck out of my room, you fucking bastard!” Chuuya shouted, pushing Dazai off his bed. Dazai chuckled, as he stood up and walked towards the door, opening it but right before he leaves, he looks back at Chuuya.

“Don’t worry, Chuuya. I won’t let my chibi partner die like that. I’ll always be right beside you.” Dazai said with a small smile on his lips. Before Chuuya could say something, Dazai was out of the door, and all Chuuya could do was stare at the empty hallway.

Chapter Text

The second time Chuuya used Corruption was six months after he first used it. During those six months, they decided to name the power that stems from Arahabaki to Corruption. It was a fitting name for its power, because like its name, it takes over and corrupts Chuuya, making him uncontrollable, and maniacal, destroying everything on his sight.

Chuuya had spent the last six months trying not to lose control over Corruption. He would take on missions with Dazai, and when he would feel Corruption eating him up, trying to take over, he would ask Dazai to nullify him before he could give in to Corruption.

It was ironic really how a few months ago, Corruption or Arahabaki never really lost control, it was always stable inside of Chuuya. Before he joined the Port Mafia, he never felt the importance of a fight or the danger of violence, knowing that he wasn’t fully human.

He lived and grew up without understanding any of his emotions. After meeting Rimbaud and joining Port Mafia, he was actually trying to live his life as himself, and not some vessel for some God, but then Corruption had been starting to go off control.

Chuuya learnt that the more he and Dazai were in danger during their missions, the more Corruption tries to break free. It was as if Chuuya’s body was going into a defense mechanism whenever they were in a tight spot, but Chuuya still fought and tried to keep Corruption in check as possible as he can. And in the past six months, Chuuya had not lost his control over Corruption.

Other than taking on missions sent by Mori or Kouyou. Chuuya was also busy training. He decided that if he wasn’t going to use his ability’s true form, then he might as well spend training his body, his ability, and mastering martial arts.

While training, Chuuya met Tachihara. Michizo Tachihara was newly recruited by the Port Mafia, and became a member of the Black Lizard. The first time Chuuya met Tachihara, they both clicked off right away. They both have a lot of similarities which made it easier for them to talk to each other.

After a few weeks of training, Chuuya had become more comfortable with Tachihara than with Dazai. It was refreshing for Chuuya to know someone his age in the Port Mafia aside from Dazai, and Tachihara acted his age than Dazai was.

Unlike Chuuya, Dazai didn’t like Tachihara (he actually hated Tachihara), he said he was too proud, and a know-it-all. Dazai even said to Chuuya that they were practically twins, not because of their red hair, but because they were both impulsive, arrogant, and had a bad temper. There were even times Dazai would belittle and mock Tachihara during trainings which would cause the three of them to clash with each other.

He spent all his free time inside the training room, sometimes alone, sometimes with Dazai if he wasn’t busy trying to kill himself, and mostly with Tachihara who would help him train by using both of their abilities. Of course, Chuuya preferred training with Tachihara instead of shitty Dazai.

Chuuya also learnt that Dazai really was suicidal. At first he thought Dazai was just playing his mind games, and spitting bullshit about wanting to die and trying out several ways to kill yourself without pain. It wasn’t until he actually witnessed Dazai trying to kill himself that Chuuya realized how bad Dazai actually wanted to die. It was one of the days Chuuya wished he could forget.

It was two weeks before the second time Chuuya used Corruption. He was walking towards Dazai’s room, ready to punch him on the face for missing training again. They had come to an agreement that they would only at least train twice during a week because they didn’t want to spend every day of their lives together (Dazai was the one who said this).

When Chuuya opened Dazai’s door, ready to shout at him for being a fucking bastard. Chuuya was shocked – no, scratch that – he was horrified to see Dazai on his bed, blood spilling on the floor, staining the bed sheets. Dazai who was laid down on bed, his eyes closed, with two fresh large cuts on his right wrist.

“Dazai!” Chuuya shouted, as he ran towards Dazai, “Come on, wake up.” Chuuya said in a small panicky voice. He shook Dazai, and gently slapped his face repeatedly but Dazai wasn’t waking up. He checked his pulse, and it was still there, but only barely. Chuuya noticed how Dazai wasn’t wearing his bandages on his right arm, exposing his bare skin, full of old scars, and recent cuts.

Chuuya cursed in his breath, he could feel his hands trembling, his face dripping with sweat. He was terrified, he didn’t know what to do. He glanced at the cuts and almost wanted to vomit from its sight, with blood still continuously dripping from it. He went to Dazai’s drawer, and grabbed a small towel, then he wrapped it around Dazai’s wrist.

He scooped Dazai in his arms, and started running towards the infirmary, leaving a trail of blood. While trying to walk as fast as possible, he passed by Kouyou, who was looking at him in wide eyes, instantly realizing what was happening.

“I’m going to get Mori, go now.” Chuuya nodded, passing by her and into the infirmary. When he was inside, he was almost glad that no one was inside to see him all scared and panicky. He set Dazai down in one of the private rooms, and sat down beside Dazai. Chuuya checked his pulse again, and it was still there.

“This brat will be the death of me.” A voice sighed, Chuuya looked back, and it was Mori. He was putting on his gloves, and behind him was Kouyou. Chuuya moved away from the bed, as Mori started setting up the IV fluids, and placing an oxygen mask on Dazai’s face. Mori looked at Kouyou, and nodded.

“Let’s go, boy.” Kouyou said, pulling Chuuya out of the private room. She stared at Chuuya for a while, a sad yet gentle expression on his face but still full of grace. “You’re crying.” She said, as she gently wiped Chuuya’s cheek.

What?

Chuuya then realized that he was actually crying this whole time, he wiped his cheeks, and there were indeed tears. He looked at his fingers, not believing that he actually cried. That he actually cried because of Dazai. Then the next thing he knew, he was slumping on the trash can beside the door, vomiting his guts out.

He felt gentle hands rub circles on his back, as he continued to vomit. He was crying again. He could feel his throat burning, his head aching, and his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He couldn’t remove the image of bloodied Dazai earlier.

It was funny really, how Chuuya could kill people so easily, so merciless. How Chuuya already witnessed a lot of deaths, and even suicide attempts by numerous people. How Chuuya was used to all the bloodshed and gore he had encountered throughout the years, and yet here he was crying and vomiting on a trash can because he saw Dazai all bloodied up, with cuts on his wrist.

When he finished, he went to the sink, gargled his mouth, and washed his face. After repeatedly washing his face, he took deep breaths, trying to calm his self. He looked back and saw that Kouyou was observing him.

“Are you okay, Chuuya?” Kouyou asked with a sad smile on her face. Chuuya now felt embarrassed. How could he cry and vomit like that in front of someone respectable and dignified like Kouyou? 

“Yes. I’m sorry you had to see that, Ane-san.” Chuuya apologized, and bowed. He only knew Kouyou for eight months, and he was already embarrassing himself by showing weakness in front of an Executive, and his superior.  Chuuya was struck with regret, he just showed weakness for something so trivial.

Was Dazai trying to kill himself really trivial? If it was, I wouldn’t have reacted like this. Chuuya thought but he shook this away.

“It’s okay, boy. No need to worry about it. I figured this is the first time you saw Dazai like that.” Kouyou commented. And it was true, this was the first time he saw Dazai try to take his own life.

Chuuya had always heard Dazai complain and whine about wanting to die but he never really thought that he was so serious about it. But it was also unnerving how this incident seems to be something Kouyou and Mori are used to.

Does this really happen all the time? Is that why he always wore those bandages? Was it to cover his scars from actually trying to kill himself? After seeing his exposed arms filled with scars earlier, the only thing Chuuya could think of is what’s underneath all those bandages. Was it really scars from his suicide attempts? Was Dazai harming himself? If his body was covered with bandages, how many scars, how many attempts has he made to have that much injury? Just thinking about it made Chuuya wanted to vomit again.

“Dazai is a brilliant person, a prodigy like everyone says. I admit that I have never met someone as intelligent and manipulative as Dazai but he is also the most complex person I know. You can never read him, and you can never understand what goes inside that mind of his. But just like everybody else, he also has his own demons but the difference between us and Dazai is that he lets his demons swallow him up every time. He doesn’t even bother fighting them but no matter how much he succumbs to his demons, they can never swallow him up whole.” Kouyou continued on, and Chuuya just listened and stayed quiet because he honestly didn’t know what to say anymore.

Chuuya sat on the floor, as he hugged his legs on his chest, resting his head on his knees. It has been eight months since he knew Dazai, and instead of understanding him, even just a little, he’s now more baffled. He realized that maybe he will never understand Dazai, that maybe he will never know Dazai’s true intentions, and that maybe Dazai will always remain as a mystery to him.

Dazai was indeed an enigma, and Chuuya doesn’t know if he wants to understand him or just leave him be.

“Do you care for him, Chuuya?” Asked Kouyou in a tone Chuuya doesn’t recognize. Was it curiosity? Was it concern? Was it disappointment? Was it anger? Chuuya didn’t have time to think about it anymore as he answered Kouyou with no hesitation.

“No! I don’t care about him at all, Ane-san.” Chuuya defended, staring at Kouyou with wide eyes. Cared for Dazai? Him? Bullshit. He hated that bastard more than anything in the world.

“Oh? I just thought with the way you reacted.” Kouyou pondered, as she eyed Chuuya, watching to see if Chuuya would break again like he did a few minutes ago.

“I was just startled, Ane-san. I just….. I never thought Dazai was so serious about being suicidal.” Chuuya admitted. Kouyou nodded and gave Chuuya a small pat on his head. Both of them falling into a comfortable silence.

Mori left the Dazai’s room a few minutes after, telling them that everything was stable, and that they can leave. Dazai was still unconscious after losing a lot of blood. After peeking on Dazai’s room, Chuuya was the first one who left the infirmary but not before he heard Mori informed Kouyou that this was Dazai’s worst attempt yet and that he could have actually died if Chuuya hadn’t found him.

Chuuya was in bed now staring at his ceiling, he looked at the clock beside him and it was already 1 am, he couldn’t sleep, no matter how much he tried. The scene of him walking inside of Dazai’s room, seeing Dazai like that kept on repeating on his mind like a broken movie tape.

Chuuya had always known that Dazai was a lonely person, never getting too close to anyone, but also never getting too distant, he was always in the middle. Chuuya had always known that Dazai has something dark inside of him, inside of his mind. If Dazai was already this cold and cruel on the outside, what more on the inside? How rotten to the core is Dazai to just let himself give in to his demons?

After how many hours of overthinking, hours of twisting and turning on his bed, and even a few moments where tears slipped from Chuuya’s eyes. When the sun was rising through the cracks and lighting up Yokohama did Chuuya finally let sleep take over him.

When Chuuya woke up, Dazai was nowhere to be found.

The next time Chuuya saw Dazai was two weeks after when Mori sent Chuuya, and the Black Lizard on a mission. That was the day, Chuuya used Corruption for the second time.

He was surprised to see Dazai already waiting at their meeting site. He was resting his back on the wall, an arm sling on his right arms. Chuuya noticed that Dazai had more bandages today. It fully covered up to his palms, and his whole neck. He also bandaged his left cheek today. His right eye also covered in bandages. Chuuya never saw Dazai without the bandage on his right eye.

When Dazai noticed them, he locked eyes with Chuuya, and gave the biggest and fakest grin he had, waving around like a fool. It made Chuuya disgusted how Dazai could easily put up another mask, and put on a happy act every day.

“Ah, Chuuya. I’ve missed you.” Dazai yelled, still waving around his left hand. Chuuya walked straight towards him.

“You shit, where were you?” Chuuya asked angrily, glaring at those brown hazel eyes. Dazai grinned at him.

“Is Chuuya worried about me?” Dazai cooed, pinching Chuuya’s cheeks which made Chuuya froze on his feet. He could feel his eyes widen, and his cheeks burn up. Realizing what was happening and that there were other people behind them, he immediately punched Dazai on the stomach. Dazai groaned, as he bent over clutching his stomach.

Okay, Chuuya did worry for Dazai, but he won’t admit that he was actually thinking about Dazai for the past two weeks that he barely got any sleep worrying if Dazai was okay. Chuuya won’t admit that he was actually scared, he spent almost all night looking for him. He was scared that maybe Dazai would try to take his life away again.

When Dazai had recover from the pain, he suddenly turned all serious and cold. He explained the plan thoroughly, grouped and assigned each members of the Black Lizard into a task. Of course, Dazai and Chuuya were together but what’s shocking is that Dazai put Tachihara together with them.

“Chuuyaaa~ I heard you were the one who found me. I wished you just let me died though.” Dazai sighed, as if he was ungrateful that Chuuya saved him, which made Chuuya stopped in his tracks and looked at Dazai in disbelief.

“What?” Chuuya snarled, grabbing Dazai’s collar, and pushing him to the wall.

Two weeks. For two fucking weeks, Chuuya almost lost his mind worrying about Dazai, silently and secretly crying on bed or while showering, and even vomiting at times when he can’t remove the image of Dazai on his head. This is what Dazai would say to him? It was like the biggest slap on his face. Chuuya never felt as pathetic as he felt right now.

 “What? You know how I’ve always wanted to die. I tell you that every day. Didn’t you want me to die too? You should’ve let me be.” Dazai complained, he was even pouting which made Chuuya’s blood boil. He didn’t know if Dazai was serious or if he was just playing Chuuya but he didn’t care anymore because he punched Dazai on the face.

“You fucking asshole. I’m so fucking done with your bullshit.” Chuuya shouted. He was going to punch Dazai on the face again, but a hand stopped him. He looked back, and Tachihara was grabbing his arms, shaking his head.

“Chuuya, I don’t think we should be fighting. We’re right by the enemy’s base. They might notice us.” Tachihara said, slowly pulling Chuuya’s fist away from Dazai’s face. Chuuya stepped away from Dazai, and took deep breaths. He could feel his control falter as he felt Corruption slowly go out of control inside of him.

“Fuck you, Dazai. Go and die for all I care. I’m going alone.” Chuuya spat as he walked away from Dazai who was still on the wall wiping his bloodied mouth on his sleeves. As he walked further from Dazai and closer to the enemy’s base, he suddenly felt someone following him. Chuuya was ready to kick Dazai in the face again, but when he glanced back, it was Tachihara.

“It’s just me.” Tachihara said, raising his hands in surrender.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I was so ready to punch you.” Chuuya chuckled silently. Tachihara smiled, and they both walked towards the enemy’s base, glancing around to see if someone was hiding through the shadows. The sun was starting to set, as orange, red, and yellow hues filled the sky.

The enemy’s base was in an abandoned two-story house on the middle of a forest. The mission was to assassinate every single person inside or is affiliated with the people inside of the base. A government official who was working with Port Mafia on the imports and exports of cargos in Yokohama City has been secretly embezzling some of the goods and has been working for some other small organization, trying to topple Port Mafia.

Chuuya and Tachihara peeped through the windows of the house, ready to attack but they were surprised to see that no one was there. This mission was supposed to be a surprise attack on the enemy, but it looked like they got played.

“Fuck!” Chuuya cursed, as he rounded up the house, and it was empty. He signaled Tachihara to radio the others of the situation. Chuuya entered the house as quietly as possible, looking at every nook of the house to see if there were traps, or bombs laid out. When he thoroughly checked the first floor, he slowly made his way up the second floor.

When he reached the second floor, a person was sitting on the middle, a cigarette on his hands. Chuuya didn’t recognize this person, he wasn’t in any of the reports that were given to them. He looked back at Chuuya and smiled. He slowly inhaled from his cigarette, and then suddenly there were fire everywhere.

Chuuya could feel the wooden floor burnt up as he jumped right before the flames could reach him. The fire was getting bigger, and was quickly burning the whole house in mere seconds. Chuuya jumped out in one of the windows, and landed outside. Tachihara then ran up to him.

“What happened?” Tachihara asked in horror, looking over to Chuuya and the burning house.

“They have an ability user. Where are the others?” Chuuya asked, looking around for the guy. This guy had a powerful ability, and if they weren’t careful, they could get burnt to death. He didn’t understand where the fire came from, but he was sure the cigarette had something to do with it.

“They’re all occupied now. They’ve found the real base, and they’re cleaning up. Dazai is with them.” Tachihara answered. He was also looking for the ability user through the fire. Then suddenly a burning debris were thrown into their way. Chuuya grabbed Tachihara and hoisted the both of them into the air before it could hit them.

Chuuya looked at the burning house, and the guy was on the window, smirking at them. He was continuously throwing burning debris towards them. Fuck this was going to be hard. Even if Chuuya would throw the burning debris back to the guy, he doubt the guy would get burnt as fire was his ability.

 He could feel the heat from here, burning the surroundings, and smoke filling his nose. Chuuya can’t get near the guy, without getting burnt, or suffocating from the smoke, and Tachihara’s ability would just deem useless as fire can melt metal, and this guy’s flames were scorching.

Chuuya and Tachihara landed back on the ground. He and Tachihara could just run away since Dazai and the others have already cleaned up, he could just leave the fire guy, but he was too powerful to just leave him be. He would also be disobeying orders by leaving one of them alive, when it was clearly said to kill every single one of the enemy.

The house was falling down the ground, and Chuuya noticed that the guy was gone, as the house was fully burning from the ground up. Chuuya circled around the house and saw the guy inhaling his cigarette, making the fire hotter, bigger, and spreading it out in the open.

Chuuya was practically melting from the heat now. He could hear Tachihara’s voice to come back, and just let the guy escape, but Chuuya wasn’t having it. He wasn’t letting this guy go away, not only could everything possibly go wrong if he lets him escape, but this guy could be a significant person in the other organization if they left him alone to deal with the Port Mafia.

It was too hot, the smoke was suffocating him, and his eyesight was getting blurry from the heat. His head was spinning, and he could feel Corruption slowly trying to take over. He could still hear Tachihara screaming from the other side of the fire. The guy was just a few meters away from him, still smoking the cigarette.

Chuuya knew that the control he had to stop Corruption from taking over was wavering. He could feel it slowly spreading over his body.

The scorching heat made it even worse than it is. Chuuya could barely hear Tachihara’s voice, and he could barely even see the guy in front of me. He just wanted things to be done, just wanted to finish the fire guy off so they could leave.

The control Chuuya had for five months was gone, as he let Corruption take over his body. Everything was blank again, his mind was blank, and he couldn’t comprehend what was happening anymore.

He could see himself throwing the large gravitons around, the fire were slowly going out, as the gravitons swallowed everything up. He was losing control, raging all around the place.

Chuuya didn’t know if the guy had died, or got caught up in one of the gravitons. He just kept on destroying everything on his sight. The pain was too much, his body couldn’t take it anymore. Everything hurt, his insides hurt, his body hurt, he could feel the blood dripping from his eyes, nose, ears, and mouth.

The gravitons were getting bigger, as Chuuya kept on throwing them around. He could feel his body getting exhausted. He could feel Corruption consuming him, draining all his life form. He felt like any second now, he would die from exhaustion.

The pain was unbearable, it was killing him. He could feel his body breaking, he could feel his body giving out. He was slipping away, barely holding on.

A hand suddenly grabbed his shoulder, nullifying Corruption. Chuuya immediately collapsed on the ground, he couldn’t feel or move his body. Everything was painful. He looked back up and he saw Dazai looking at him.

“You stupid fucking idiot.” was the last thing Chuuya heard, before he blacked out.

Chuuya woke up four days after he used Corruption. He was in one of the private room but what surprised him was that Tachihara was the one sitting beside his bed and not Kouyou.

“Chuuya! Are you okay?” Tachihara said, as he stood up from his seat. Chuuya groaned, as he tried to sit up. He could barely move his body. “No, don’t get up. Just lay down.” Tachihara as he helped Chuuya in a more comfortable position.

“What happened?” Chuuya coughed out. Tachihara then grabbed a glass of water, and gave it to Chuuya. He drank all of it one go, and placed it down on the bedside table.

“You tell me. You were chasing down the guy, then suddenly the ground was shaking, and when I looked you, your pupils had turn white, red lines swirled around your body. You killed him right of the bat, but you still continued throwing the big gravity balls around. You were going berserk, Chuuya. I radioed Dazai-san when I realized you weren’t stopping. Good thing, he was already on his way to us.” Tachihara explained in detail, as Chuuya stared at the ceiling.

Chuuya almost died that night, he knows it. He used Corruption longer that night, and the pain was much more excruciating than the first time he used it. He felt it that night, his life slowly slipping away as exhaustion and pain consumed his body.

“What was that, Chuuya?” Tachihara asked, concern laced in his voice.

“That was the true form of Chuuya’s ability.” A voice said. Tachihara and Chuuya looked towards the door, and saw Dazai standing there. He wasn’t putting up his fake happiness act right now. He was just staring coldly towards Chuuya, with literally no emotions on his face.

“Leave us alone.” Dazai ordered. Tachihara looked at Chuuya, and Chuuya nodded in response. When Tachihara left the room, Dazai didn’t sat on the seat beside the bed, he sat on Chuuya’s bed.

“Dazai, get off the bed.” Chuuya snapped. Talking also was too painful for him right now. When Dazai wasn’t getting off the bed, Chuuya decided to just let him be.

“You’re such a fucking idiot, you know that right?” Dazai said but it wasn’t in a teasing tone, it was like he was angry at Chuuya. He glared at Dazai, who was just staring at him with his cold left eye which Chuuya hated so much.

“If you’re just going to insult me, then can you please leave? My head hurts like hell, and your face is giving me a headache.” Chuuya said, gritting his teeth in pain. Whatever Dazai’s up to, Chuuya wasn’t having it today. He was too worn out for Dazai’s bullshit.

Dazai didn’t leave. He just stayed there, sitting beside Chuuya’s waist, still staring at Chuuya. It was like Dazai was studying him.

Another thing, Chuuya hated about Dazai’s eye was that it felt like he was staring inside of Chuuya’s soul. He felt too bare, too exposed towards Dazai’s gaze. Dazai put his hand up to Chuuya’s face, gently caressing his cheek.

“Dazai, wha––” Chuuya was ready to scream at Dazai even through the pain but Dazai had cut him off.

“Promise me you won’t use Corruption when I’m not with you or beside you.” Dazai whispered, his voice soft, too soft to belong to Dazai.

Why did he have to promise Dazai that? Dazai knows that Chuuya still can’t fully control when he can and can’t use Corruption. Promising him that would be useless.

Chuuya looked at him with wide eyes, Dazai was still caressing his cheek, his thumb stroking his bottom lip. Chuuya couldn’t process what was happening right now. What the fucking hell was Dazai doing? His hands was frozen to Dazai’s touch. He couldn’t push Dazai away from him, because it was too painful for him to move his arms.

“Why? Wha–What are you doing, Dazai? Stop that.” Chuuya tried to shout but it came out like a whimper. He could feel his cheeks turning red.

Fuck, why does Dazai always do things like these that makes Chuuya flustered? He wanted to turn away from Dazai, he wanted to kick Dazai off of him, he wanted to punch him on the face, but Chuuya just stared back at Dazai.

The worst thing about this was Dazai had no emotion on his face right now. He was staring at Chuuya like a dead man. His eye was much colder than ever, his face impassive which made Chuuya more uncomfortable than what Dazai was doing.

“Promise me.” Dazai pleaded, which made Chuuya even more shocked than he already is. Dazai’s voice had completely betray whatever restrain he has on his emotions despite putting up an emotionless face.

Chuuya closed his eyes, not wanting to see Dazai’s cold stare on him. Dazai then started brushing his fingers on Chuuya’s face, around his eyes, his lashes, his eyebrows, his cheek bones, his bones, his jawline, his chin which made Chuuya quaver in bed.

It was too quiet around him, like it was just the two of them in the building. He could feel his heart beating rapidly on his chest, he could feel his stomach churning as Dazai’s soft and gentle fingers stroke his face.

“I...I promise, so please stop it.” Chuuya breathed, his voice all choked up. He realized that he was holding his breath the whole time.

“What was that?” Dazai said, pulling away his hands from Chuuya and back to his lap. Chuuya took a deep breath, and slowly opened his eyes. Dazai was staring right at Chuuya, still no emotions present on Dazai’s face, not even a small reaction, or even just a crack from Dazai’s face.

“I promise not to use Corruption when I’m not with you.” Chuuya promised sincerely.

It was honestly surreal for Dazai to let Chuuya promise him something as deep as this. A promise to not use Corruption without him because they both know Chuuya would die if Dazai wasn’t by his side. It was as if Dazai was asking Chuuya to promise him not to kill himself.

But how dare Dazai let Chuuya promise him something like this when Dazai himself was going around trying to kill himself?

Dazai suddenly stood up from the bed, and walked out the door before Chuuya could open his mouth and retort about how ironic the promise was. But what startled Chuuya was the figure standing outside of Chuuya’s room, cherry red eyes staring at him.

She was standing there, her body composed and calm but her slender face was formed into a frown. The corners of her mouth turned down, her eyebrows furrowed together, with a look of disapproval on her face. It was as if she saw everything that has happened.

Kouyou shook her head at Chuuya, and left.

Chapter Text

The third time Chuuya used Corruption was almost a year after he first used it. It was during the darkest conflict in Yokohoma’s history, the Dragon Head’s Conflict.

One month after Chuuya used Corruption for the second time, the Dragon Head’s Conflict started when an ability user died, leaving a large amount of fortune. Several criminal organizations in Yokohama battled to claim that fortune.

87 days later, the day before the last day of the conflict, most of the criminal organizations were destroyed. Strain, an overseas organization has contributed the most casualties in this conflict. Takasekai, a criminal organization in Yokohama, collapsed when its leader had died. Other organizations like Shadow Blade, Bishop’s Staff, KK Company were completely wiped out.

Throughout the conflict, four of the major organizations have fallen except for the Port Mafia. Even though, they’re still standing, they’re barely getting through it as one of their Executives, Colonel, has died, and Dazai has gone missing.

The White Dragon or Shibusawa had become the biggest threat to Port Mafia. Everything about Shibusawa and his ability is completely unknown to the Port Mafia which infuriates Mori. Mori called upon Chuuya and Hirotsu on his office and informs them of the situation of the conflict.

Chuuya who was irritated about Dazai being missing, suggested to just leave him be but Mori ignored Chuuya. Hirotsu was now reporting about the deaths of their comrades, and that the location of Dazai is still unknown. The only thing Hirotsu knows is that Dazai had recently bought a microscope.

“What did you say, Hirotsu-san?” Chuuya said, as Hirotsu was still reporting to Mori. Hirotsu looked at Chuuya in shock for having the guts to interrupt him while still disclosing the details of the conflict to Mori.

“What?” Hirotsu said, completely confused about what Chuuya was talking about. Mori looked at Chuuya with a smirk, as if amused by what was happening.

“About Dazai. What did you say?” Chuuya asked again.

“That he bought a microscope?” Hirotsu trailed off, uncertain as to why Chuuya was asking him this.

“That fucking asshole.” Chuuya muttered under his breath, while Hirotsu just looked at him more confused than ever. When Chuuya realized what he just did, he quickly bowed in front of Mori.

“I’m sorry, boss. I just realized something. Can you please excuse me?” Mori laughed, and waved his hand, allowing Chuuya to leave Mori’s office. Chuuya turned away from Hirotsu and Mori, and walked inside the elevator, pressing the floor to where the Executives’ office were.

Chuuya recalled a conversation he and Dazai had a few weeks ago when they were talking about the happenings in Yokohama because of the war. After that, Dazai had insulted him about being so small that he needed a microscope to see Chuuya properly which earned a punch from Chuuya.

He entered Dazai’s office with so much force, he snapped the door in two. He saw the microscope on top of Dazai’s table, and breaking it into pieces, revealing a transmitter, which means Dazai had intentionally let the enemy capture him.

Chuuya stormed out of Dazai’s office, muttering curses under his breath about Dazai being a fucking shit, and hoping Dazai would die at the hands of the enemy. Chuuya was so angry, and bent to find Dazai, and kill the White Dragon. When the elevator opened, Hirotsu was inside.

“Where are you going, Chuuya-kun?” Hirotsu asked, noticing Chuuya’s restless stance.

“I’m going to go to Dazai.” Chuuya said with a hint of annoyance. Hirotsu looked at Chuuya in surprised.

“What? You know where he is?” Hirotsu asked, completely surprised. When earlier, they were just talking about a plan to find Dazai.

“Yes, he hid this inside the microscope.” Chuuya said, showing the transmitter to Hirotsu, as he scanned it in his hands. Hirotsu nodded then realized something.

“Are you going alone?” Hirotsu asked, and Chuuya nodded. When they reached the parking area, before Chuuya could leave the elevator, Hirotsu grabbed his arms. “Don’t. Atleast bring someone with you.”

Chuuya shook his head, “No need, I’m probably going to use Corruption.” which shocked Hirotsu, releasing his hands from Chuuya’s arms.

Chuuya walked away from the elevator and towards his motorcycle. Putting the transmitter on his ears, he hopped on his motorcycle, and left the Port Mafia headquarters. Storming the streets and buildings of Yokohama, he could hear voices, as he went closer to where Dazai and the White Dragon were.

“Dazai, where are you?” A voice said through the transmitter, a voice Chuuya had only heard once in his life. It was Odasaku’s. He was one of the lower members of the Port Mafia, but it seems like he and Dazai were quite friendly with each other.

“I have a feeling I know what you’re up to, but you need to run. It’s not going to be safe there for long.” Dazai said to Odasaku.

“Piss off, scrub.” Chuuya shouted at the transmitter, as he continued to storm the streets. He saw a figure kneeling on the ground but he was too fast to recognize who it was.

“Hi, Chuuya. You’re in the range of the enemy. Take some bullets and die, thanks.” Dazai’s annoying voice rang on Chuuya’s ears.

“Shut up.” Chuuya coldly said to Dazai, as an electrokinetic ability user attacks him. He turned his motorcycle from left to right, dodging the attacks. Chuuya cursed, as the ability user attacked him with streaks of lighting.

Chuuya evaded the attack, as he hoisted himself and his motorcycle using his ability, and rode upward towards the buildings. When he arrived on top of the building where the ability user was, and had gotten closer, making his presence known to the others around him.

“It would have been more amusing if you’d been struck by lighting and died.” Dazai commented. He was sitting patiently, his hands handcuffed, with a person aiming a gun behind his head.

“Shut it, Dazai.” Chuuya snapped, as the guy holding the gun behind Dazai’s head was surprise to see Chuuya.

“You’re five minutes late.” Dazai said, as he flipped backwards and kicked the person behind him. “Because of that, I got smacked three more times than I needed to.” Dazai walked towards Chuuya.

“I might as well finish you off.”

“I’m not the one you need to kill.” Dazai said, as he snapped his fingers, and the handcuffs fell down from his wrists. Several men armed with guns suddenly ran and circled around, surrounding the both of them.

“Look at all this trash.” Chuuya insulted, looking around the armed men.

“Clean it up, please. You’re prepared for this, aren’t you?” Dazai said. The ability user with the electrokinetic ability was in front of Chuuya, his hands sparkling with lightning. Chuuya glared at the user.

“Come to think of it, I have a debt to repay you.” Chuuya said, as he continued to glare at the ability user in front of him. Chuuya then activated his ablity, crashing all the people that had surrounded them with a blast, decimating them all in an instant.

Chuuya and Dazai walked away, and entered into the building. After a few turns, they were finally in front of the White Dragon. He was inside an ornate dome structured of pillars, stained glass, with different types of colors.

The White Dragon or Shibusawa sat in front of a burning can filled with money, as he threw in gems into the fire, muttering the words ‘it’ll be mine’ and ‘it won’t be mine” whenever a gem falls into the fire.

Dazai commented about how those jewels were real, and that it could have made a woman happy. When Shibusawa had finally thrown all the gems into the fire, he rested his chin on his clasped hands, completely oblivious to the two men standing in front of him.

“It’s not much fun seeing these readings come true. Starting an organization hasn’t helped me get what I want.” Shibusawa said disappointingly to himself.

“Give me back my friends.” Chuuya said, which made Shibusawa looked up and acknowledge their presence.

“Welcome, boring guests. I don’t expect you to give me what I desire. Die now as they did.” Shibusawa said, as mist suddenly appeared around them. Shibusawa closed his eyes. “All your friends killed themselves. Boring people are boring, even in death.”

And this is what triggered Corruption. The anger Chuuya was feeling right now was too much. He was enraged by how his comrades had died, it felt so meaningless, so vain. And this guy in front of him said it like their deaths were boring, that it had no meaning.

“You…” Chuuya growled, as he lost his composure and control, releasing Corruption. His coat’s sleeves had burst into pieces by the impact. This was the first Chuuya had used Corruption, not because he was in danger, but because of his emotions. He felt so grief-stricken, so angry.

“Don’t stop me.” Chuuya said to Dazai, as papers, and small debris were circling around them.

“Oh dear, Corruption, huh?” Dazai said disapprovingly, but he knew that he had no choice but to let Chuuya be. He stepped back, as he watched Chuuya lose control.

Chuuya screamed, as Corruption finally took over him. The intensity of Corruption caused an explosion, destroying Shibusawa, the building, and the other structures within the perimeter.

Despite this being the most powerful Corruption had ever been since the first time he used it, this was also the shortest time he ever used Corruption. He barely used Corruption for one minute, it was painful but it wasn’t as painful as the first and the second time.

Chuuya felt hands caressed both his cheeks from behind, nullifying Corruption. Chuuya collapsed, not because he couldn’t move his body, but because he was crying. Dazai who was still holding him, fell down with him. Dazai moved Chuuya’s head into his lap, as Chuuya cried out in anger, in pain.

Dazai brought his fingers up to Chuuya’s hair, playing with them, as Chuuya continued to cry. Chuuya didn’t care if Dazai was seeing him cried out his eyes, he didn’t care that he was literally crying on Dazai’s lap, he just needed to let it all out.

Chuuya cried and cried that night, as Dazai brushed his hair until he passed out.

When Chuuya woke up, there were three things that shocked him. First, he woke up with Dazai on the room with him. Second, he wasn’t in the infirmary. Lastly, he wasn’t also in his room, but he can never forget who this room belongs to.

Chuuya looked around, and Dazai was drinking what looked like whiskey. He was seated in front of the window, looking at the Yokohoma city night lights. Chuuya could see through the glass window that was as big as the wall that the city was in ruins, there were still smoke everywhere. Some buildings had fallen through the ferocity of the conflict.

Dazai had his back facing Chuuya. It was still night, so that means Chuuya must have been out for at least a day. Chuuya sat up and was relieved to know that his body didn’t hurt that much, and he can freely move it.

“What the fuck am I doing here?” Chuuya asked, his voice hoarse. He remembered he was screaming a lot when he used Corruption that night. Dazai, who wasn’t even startled by Chuuya’s voice, looked back at him and smiled.

“Ah, is Chuuya awake?” Dazai said, placing his glass of whiskey on the wine table beside him.

“What am I doing here, Dazai?” Chuuya asked again, his voice sounded rougher and harsher. He needed a glass of water.

“Chuuya,” Dazai clicked his tongue on his teeth making a ‘tsk’, “You do realize you’re not the only person in the Port Mafia that is injured right? The infirmaries are all full right now.”

“I fucking know that, asshole. What I’m asking is, what am I doing here, in your room?” Chuuya asked again, annoyed. Dazai clearly knew what he meant, but once again Dazai was being a fucking bastard.

“Oh my, Chuuya. Did you really forget?” Dazai smirked, as he stood up from his seat, and walked towards the bed, seating in front of Chuuya, who was glaring at him.

“What the fuck are you talking about now?” Chuuya sighed, obviously done with Dazai’s bullshit. As Chuuya continued to glare at this asshole, who made his life worse ever since he met him. Dazai smirked, and moved closer to Chuuya, while Chuuya moved backwards.

“When I, Tachihara and Hirotsu-san carried you out of the building, you kept on saying my name in your sleep, albeit it was curses, it was still nice to see Tachihara glare at me like that. But that’s not the point.” Dazai said in amusement, which made Chuuya groaned.

Did he really say Dazai’s name in his sleep? In front of Tachihara and Hirotsu? That was so fucking embarrassing, but he was glad it was just curses, as it should.

 “Anyways, the point is your room’s fucked, and Tachihara suggested that you could rest on his room but when we reached headquarters, you were suddenly hugging me and wouldn’t let go. Of course, I wasn’t going to sleep with you and Tachihara so I decided to let you sleep here, in my room, in my Executive Suite room.” Dazai said with all the fake enthusiasm he could ever muster, even waving his hands around. Even grimacing when he mentioned Tachihara’s name. Chuuya’s glare turned into a frown, not believing a word Dazai said.

Chuuya hugging Dazai? Now that is some high level bullshit.

“You don’t believe me, do you? So typical of you, Chuuya. That’s why I asked Hirotsu-san to take pictures!” Dazai said, as he stood up from the bed to get his phone that was beside his glass of whiskey. He opened it and walked towards Chuuya. He placed the phone in front of Chuuya’s face, and there it was.

Chuuya and Dazai were on the bed, on Dazai’s bed. Chuuya was hugging Dazai’s chest, his head nuzzled on Dazai’s neck. Dazai’s hand was on Chuuya’s waist, it looked like he holding him tightly. While Dazai’s other hand did a peace sign, and Dazai was winking, and sticking out his tongue on the picture.

Chuuya looked at the picture with wide eyes, analyzing it, making sure that this was really him. He looked at it, once, twice, thrice, and he still couldn’t believe he did that. He was about to snatched the phone and break it when Dazai quickly pulled it away from Chuuya’s face.

“See? Don’t we look cute?” Dazai grinned, as he quickly hid the phone inside his pocket.

“Give. Me. The. Phone.” Chuuya threatened, glaring at Dazai, who just stuck his tongue at Chuuya, shaking his head.

“Dazai, give me the fucking phone!” Chuuya yelled, as he lunged into Dazai, who landed on the bed. Chuuya who was on top of Dazai, tried to get the phone from his pocket, but Dazai kept on moving and wriggling beneath him.

Dazai then pushed and rolled Chuuya, so Chuuya was now the one in bed. Chuuya tried to slide his hands inside the pocket, but Dazai had pinned Chuuya’s hands on top of his head. When did Dazai get so strong? Chuuya then used his legs to flip them again, and now he was the one who was pinning Dazai down in bed.

“Hmm, I admit this is a nice position, but I would have to say that I prefer being on top.” Dazai breathed, both of them were panting from flipping and rolling on the bed.

 Chuuya looked down at him. Their faces were close, too close for Chuuya’s liking, and yet he still didn’t pull away. Chuuya stared at Dazai’s left eye, who was already staring at him, this time it wasn’t as dead like always. His eye had a dark glint, but maybe it was the city lights that were illuminating Dazai’s left side. Chuuya then looked at Dazai’s mouth which was slightly parted, breathing in and out.

 When did Dazai look so pretty like this? When did Dazai even look pretty?

“Give me the phone, Dazai.” Chuuya choked out. Dazai hummed, which made Chuuya looked back up to Dazai’s eye, but it was looking at Chuuya’s lips.

 He was too mesmerized by Dazai, it might have been the fact that Dazai looked so beautiful under the moonlight as it shone through half of Dazai’s room. Or it might have been the fact that Dazai have always been pretty, but Chuuya never noticed it, or just refused to notice it.

Chuuya didn’t know who moved first, but the next thing he knew, both of their lips were pressed against each other. It surprised him how soft Dazai’s lips were, with how cold Dazai was, he thought it might have been rough. Chuuya removed his hold on Dazai’s hands, as he placed his hands on Dazai’s cheeks, cupping them slightly so the angle of their lips would be more comfortable.

Dazai’s hands were now on Chuuya’s back, pulling him closer, as their kiss deepens.  What was even more surprising was how good of a kisser Dazai was, great even. Chuuya never thought that Dazai would have experience, with how cold and rude he was to others. Chuuya, on the other hand, having been with the Sheep and being growing teenagers with hormones really gave him a few experiences.

Chuuya felt Dazai’s tongue licked his bottom lip, and Chuuya partly opened his mouth, granting entrance to Dazai’s tongue. From the slow and gentle pace they had, it suddenly turned messy and more desperate, like they’ve been wanting to do this for so long. Dazai bit Chuuya’s bottom lip, which made Chuuya let out a soft moan.

That was when Chuuya realized what was happening, he opened his eyes, and instantly pushed himself off Dazai.

Wiping his lips, he looked at Dazai, who, for a moment there, looked surprised, but it was quickly masked off by a smirk. Chuuya who was still shocked––no, he was horrified––by what happened, just stood there, his hand still on his lips.

“I never knew Chuuya was such a good kisser!” Dazai exclaimed, sitting up on the bed. He was smirking, as if satisfied with just happened between them. Chuuya was frozen on his feet, he didn’t know what to say or do. He never thought in his life that this would happen between them.

“Aww, is Chuuya flustered?” Dazai teased. Chuuya bit his lip in anger, he wanted to explode, wanted to strangle Dazai, and maybe even kill him in the process. He felt so humiliated right now, felt so exposed.

 Dazai and Chuuya just made out. They just fucking made out. Chuuya let Dazai kissed him. Chuuya let Dazai touch him. Chuuya let Dazai bit his lip. Chuuya let Dazai in through his mouth. Chuuya let Dazai hear him moan. He felt so shameful right now.

As much as he wanted to blame it all on Dazai, to just fucking kick him in the face, Chuuya also gave in and kissed Dazai. He also touched Dazai so he was also responsible for what happened to them.

But Chuuya felt so done with Dazai, he knew that fighting or even shouting at him would just be pointless, and would just leave him more infuriated than he already is. Chuuya was too shocked to even shout at Dazai right now.

So he turned his back and walked towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Dazai said, grabbing Chuuya’s arm before Chuuya could open the door.

“To sleep.” Chuuya sighed, not even fighting Dazai anymore. He was just tired now, and humiliated. He never felt as ashamed and foolish as he felt right now.

“Where? I told you, your room got ruined.” Dazai said, still not letting go of Chuuya. Fucking hell, why was Dazai acting like this? Chuuya just wanted to leave this room as soon as possible. He just wanted to go as far away from Dazai as possible.

What happened between them wasn’t supposed to happen. It wasn’t supposed to make Chuuya’s inside turn, and not in a bad way.

“I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go sleep with Tachihara. It’s better there than to be here with you.” Chuuya snapped, pulling his arms away but Dazai gripped his hold tighter. Chuuya turned back and glared at Dazai. He was met with a cold brown eye, not like the shining ones he saw earlier, it was back to the dull and dead eye.

“Tachihara, hmm? You have such bad taste in men, Chuuya.” Dazai said dryly.

“Let me go, Dazai. What the fuck is your problem?” Chuuya said, pulling his arm roughly this time. Dazai finally had let go of Chuuya’s arm, and he was so ready to leave this instant.

“Ah, so you do like Tachihara.” Dazai scoffed, which made Chuuya face Dazai again. He just wanted to fucking punch that impassive face he had on.

“The fuck, Dazai? What is it to you if I like Tachihara or not? Huh?” Chuuya said as he jabbed Dazai’s chest on every word he said.

“But we can’t have that, Chuuya~ Have you forgotten that I own you? That you belong to me? That you’re mine?” Dazai said as cold as he can, probably the coldest Chuuya has ever heard Dazai, as he stared directly into Chuuya’s eyes.

Chuuya glared into Dazai’s eyes as he remembered the first time Dazai had said that him which was a year ago. Dazai had never brought it up again, but hearing it right now with what just happened to them a few minutes ago, and this time it was said even more seriously like he actually meant it, made Chuuya’s blood boil. Before Chuuya could say anything, Dazai had beat him to it.

“I’m leaving. You can sleep here.” Dazai said blankly with no emotions present in his voice, as he walked passed Chuuya, and out to the door.

Chuuya broke the bed and destroyed Dazai’s room that night.

After the Dragon’s Head Conflict, the Yokohama City had gone through a state of shock. The streets were stained with blood, the number of corpses were countless. Mafioso, criminals, and even innocent civilians had died during the 88 days of the conflict. Several buildings and structures had been hit or have fallen down to the ground. Yokohama City was a mess, a very very big mess after the conflict.

That night when Chuuya used Corruption, that was the night the Dragon’s Head Conflict came to its conclusion, by killing the White Dragon himself. Port Mafia has emerged as the victor of the war and the only remaining criminal organization that is left in Yokohama City.

 Not only had Mori won the conflict, and even got the remaining fortune left. Mori had gained control over the whole underground world, making him and Port Mafia the most powerful in the city.

After that night, Chuuya and Dazai were officially known as the Soukoku which means Double Black. Mori was the one who gave them that name, who was very grateful for Chuuya and Dazai for killing the White Dragon, and for winning this conflict.

With one of the Executive seats being available due to the death of the Colonel, Mori had rewarded Chuuya for ultimately ending the conflict, and Chuuya was made one of the top five Executives of the Port Mafia.

One month after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, the whole city was still in restoration and in repairs, even the Port Mafia headquarters was reconstructing due to the damage it had received. And because Chuuya’s room was also destroyed during the conflict, he had to rent out on an apartment near the headquarters.

Chuuya had spent most of his days downtown, helping with the restoration of the city. Because of his ability, he was the one who was carrying out the fallen debris or remains of a building. And if he was too tired to come help, or had a free day, he’s either spent it sleeping or hanging out with Tachihara.

Since the city and Port Mafia were busy with the repairs, Mori had not ordered or given an official mission towards the members. The only order that was given was to help restore the city. And since most of Port Mafia’s enemies were wiped out during the conflict, and a lot of the members were injured, Mori had been a little lenient but still stern and severe.

After what happened that night in Dazai’s room, as usual, Dazai was nowhere to be found, or maybe their paths have just not crossed for one month, and Chuuya was really grateful for that. After destroying Dazai’s room that night, he had stormed out of the headquarters unable to sleep because of what happened, he decided to take a walk around the city, until his feet took him to Rimabaud’s grave. He spent the whole night there, despite the cold ocean breeze.

Mori had summoned Chuuya in his office today, as Chuuya rode up the elevator, he suddenly felt tense, like something bad was going to happen. When the elevator doors open, he was greeted by guards who had their gun up, but they quickly bowed when they realize it was Chuuya.

He continued walking through the long hallway, and stopped in front of the big red double door. The two men standing on guard outside of the door, opened it and Chuuya now knew why he felt sick. He was met with a face he hadn’t seen for a month. Dazai was already staring at him, like he was waiting for Chuuya.

“Welcome, Chuuya-kun.” Mori greeted, as Chuuya bowed his head. Mori was seated on on his red chair behind his table. His chin resting on his hands. Chuuya walked forward, and stood next to Dazai.

“I’m glad I finally got to meet you two together after your excellent work during the Dragon’s Head Conflict. Well, Dazai-kun, I’m sure you’re very aware that Chuuya-kun is an Executive now.” Mori happily said, as Dazai just gave a nod, looking like he was so bored of what Mori was saying and would rather be anywhere than here.

“Anyways, I called you two here right now because as of now, you two are the most important members of the Port Mafia, and you two are officially partners now. I’d like to reward you with something I know would help strengthen your partnership.” Mori continued on, as he opened one of the drawers on his table.

When Chuuya heard the word reward, his mood suddenly gone up. Being here with Dazai was making him remember scenes, he’d rather much forget. Chuuya won’t admit it but he has been trying so hard to forget what happened that night. Dazai’s lips, his tongue, his touch, his eyes, Chuuya just wanted to forget it all.

The way Dazai soft lips was pressed into his. The way Dazai’s tongue explored his mouth, and clashed with his. The way Dazai touched him on his back pressing him closer, so gentle yet also so tight. And the thing he can never forget is the way Dazai had looked at him, his eyes glinting as he stared at Chuuya like he couldn’t believe Chuuya was in front of him, like he couldn’t believe Chuuya was that close to him.

When Mori had finally found what he was looking for, he placed it on the table. He gestured the both of them to come closer. When they were standing right by the table, Chuuya looked at down, and he was surprised yet confused to what the reward was supposed to be.

On top of the tables were two identical silver keys, and a piece of paper.

“Go on, don’t just stare and get your reward.” Mori smiled, but there was something about his smile that hinted danger. Chuuya wasn’t as intelligent as Dazai, but he knew he was smart.

Kouyou had always warned Chuuya about Mori. She would always tell Chuuya to always be careful and to always be on guard when Mori is in the room. The thing about Mori is that he sees through literally everything. Just one move, one reaction, or just one crack from your surface, he’ll know everything in an instant.

Mori had always been a dangerous and cunning person, and seeing him right now felt as if he was testing the two of them. Chuuya don’t know what Mori was testing them, but he felt that if any of them made a wrong move right now, they would fall prey into one of Mori’s schemes.

“Ah, what is this supposed to be, boss?” Chuuya asked carefully, grabbing the silver key and inspecting it. Chuuya looked at Mori, and he was smiling creepily now, which confirms that Mori is up to something.

“That, Chuuya-kun, is the key to your new house, or should I say penthouse?” Mori said cheerfully, like they were supposed to be happy about it but Mori was the only one who looked like he was happy about this situation.

Chuuya was about to thank Mori but then he realized that there were two identical keys, he almost dropped the key in horror. He tried not to show his reaction but he looked like he failed because Mori chuckled and was looking at him. He glanced at Dazai to atleast see his reaction, and saw that Dazai had not showed even an ounce of emotion. Right now, he looked more bored than ever.

“Are you okay, Chuuya-kun? Is it not enough?” Mori asked, but he was still smiling. Chuuya shook his head.

“No, boss. This is more than enough. I’m very grateful. Thank you.” Chuuya said, as he bowed in front of Mori. Yes, he is grateful that Mori had rewarded him with a house, a penthouse at that, but living with Dazai? Chuuya doesn’t know if he could do it.

“It’s the least I can do after your outstanding work, Chuuya-kun. You could actually move in by today if you want. This is the address.” Mori said, as he pointed on the piece of paper that was still on top of the table.

Chuuya picked up the paper, and looked at it, and was surprised to see where his new home. Chuuya was about to thank Mori again, but Dazai snatched the paper away from him.

“Not even going to let me see?” Dazai said to Chuuya, he looked at the paper and hummed, “Not bad, boss.” This was the first time Dazai had spoken since Chuuya had entered the room, and the first time he talked to him after a month. Chuuya looked at Dazai who still had an impassive face on.

“Of course, only the best for the best.” Mori commented as he stared at Dazai, but he wasn’t smiling anymore. Mori looked disappointed like he didn’t get what he wanted.

“Is that all?” Dazai asked, as he placed this key and the paper on his pocket.

Mori nodded, “You can leave.” Chuuya bowed to Mori again, but Dazai just turned his back, and walked out the door, leaving the room first. Chuuya turned his back, and walked towards the door, but before Chuuya could leave, Mori called him out.

“Have fun but not too much fun, Chuuya-kun.” Mori warned but it felt more like a threat than a warning. Chuuya glanced back, and looked at Mori, who was looking at him with a menacingly smile that gave him chills. Chuuya nodded and left the room.

Chuuya moved to the penthouse the same day Mori gave them the key. It didn’t take too long for Chuuya to move his belongings to his new house since he was temporarily renting out an apartment, most of his things were already packed, and most of his stuff were just clothes and some daily essentials.

Chuuya was carrying two large luggage, full of his clothes, and small backpack of his knives. When he arrived at the building, he couldn’t hide his excitement, even though he was going to leave with Dazai, he still was going to have a house, his house, maybe even a home in the city. As he went inside the building tower, he was not surprised to know that their penthouse had a separate elevator and garage on the back of the building, far from the public’s eyes.

He knew the penthouse was in the last floor, which means he had a view of the city he loves so much. When the elevator opened, it revealed a long hallway, the other side of the wall full of paintings, while the other side was glass and had an overlooking view of the city.

 A big double door was at the end of the hallway, like the door in Mori’s office, but this door was black. Huh, Double Black. Chuuya turned the doorknob to check if it was open, and it was which means Dazai was already here.

When Chuuya opened the door, amazing was an understatement. The whole place was in black and white. The furniture, the walls, the doors, literally everything was either black or white. The best thing about this place was as soon as Chuuya entered the place, he was welcomed by the Yokohama skyline.

The exterior of the penthouse were all glass wall windows, since it was almost sun set, yellow, orange, red hues filled the place. Chuuya walked around the penthouse, their living room was spacious, the kitchen was too big for the two of them, but the dining table was only for two people, and all of them faced the Yokohama skyline.

Chuuya set his bags on the living room, walking towards the kitchen to get some water. He opened the refrigerator and it was empty, the cupboards were also empty. Chuuya sighed, the only stuff that were there were the basic kitchenware like plates, glasses, spoons, pots, and knives. Chuuya grabbed one glass, and poured tap water on it.

 A figure came out from the hallway which Chuuya assumed to be where the rooms were. Chuuya can’t believe he almost forgot that he and Dazai were going to live together now. His excitement simmered down, as Dazai walked towards him.

“Chuuya~ it’s so good to see you. It’s been a while.” Dazai said, waving at him. Chuuya just looked at him blankly, as he drank his water. Dazai sat on the counter in front of Chuuya, his chin resting on the palm of his hand, his fingers tapping his jaw.

“What do you want, Dazai?” Chuuya groaned. If it was possible to not talk to Dazai or even see Dazai, he would have done that. But now not only does he see Dazai even more, they had to share one living space.

“Do you like the place, Chuuya?” Dazai smirked. Obviously Chuuya liked the place, which was evident on his face. But the way Dazai was smirking means he was scheming, which made Chuuya squint at Dazai.

“Yeah, I love it… Why?” Chuuya trailed off, uncertain as to why Dazai was looking at him as if he was happy about something. Then a thought passed through his mind, which made Chuuya widen his eyes, almost dropping the glass.

“Don’t fucking tell me.” Chuuya said, as he ran towards the hallway where the rooms were.

There were only two doors, both of them were placed on the middle, completely opposite to each other. The first room, which was on the right side of the hallway, was a room with a king-sized bed. This room was facing the Yokohama Trademark Tower and the Minato Mirai.

The second room, which was on the left side of the hallway, was exactly the same as the first room. This room was facing the Port Mafia Headquarters and Mori Corporation. Chuuya sighed in relief, knowing that there were two separate rooms for the two of them.

A laugh boomed behind him, “Did Chuuya thought we only had one room?” Chuuya glared at Dazai, who was leaning on the wall, smirking, “That would have been nice though. Chuuya’s a good cuddle buddy!”

“You fucker!” Chuuya shouted, as he aimed to kick Dazai’s head which Dazai had effortlessly dodged.

“But it’s true though. Chuuya’s all warm and cuddly.” Dazai said, a small smile on his face. Chuuya could feel heat slowly rise to his cheeks by what Dazai said, then he remembered Dazai probably still had that picture of Chuuya cuddling him. Then suddenly scenes from that night replayed on his mind, which made Chuuya turned his back on Dazai.

After not seeing Dazai for a month, and then suddenly seeing him again only to find out they were living together was making Chuuya’s mind go all tangled and chaotic. Not seeing Dazai didn’t make him forget about that night but still he tried to do everything; he worked, he slept, and he hung out with Tachihara. Dazai being gone made it a little easier for Chuuya to not think about what happened that night

But seeing Dazai right now, all he could think of was Dazai. The Dazai that night. The soft and gentle Dazai. The Dazai that had kissed Chuuya. The Dazai that had cuddled Chuuya. The Dazai that had touched Chuuya. Even though Dazai had gone back to his cold and impassive self after what happened. Chuuya just can’t seem to forget that version of Dazai.

“I want this room.” was the only thing Chuuya could say, realizing that he was lost in thought, and has just been staring at the Port Mafia headquarters for a while. He looked back at Dazai, who was just staring at him.

“I figured you’d say that. My things are already on the other room.” Dazai nodded, then left the room, closing the door with him. Chuuya jumped on his bed, and just watched the sun set on his glass window.

Chuuya left his room to get his luggage on the living room. It was already night time and he was hungry but he would have to buy groceries first but he was also too tired to buy, he decided to just order out some food tonight. After Chuuya ordered, only for himself, of course. While waiting for the food, he decided to take a bath.

His room was big. A black king-sized bed on the middle facing the glass window wall, and two bedside table with two lamps on top. A chair and a small table was on the end of the room, facing the Yokohama skyline. A mirror closet on the other side of the wall, and two doors each on the left and right side of the closet which were probably the bathroom.

Chuuya opened the right door, and it revealed a toilet and a sink. So that means the left door was the bathroom. Chuuya started removing his clothes until he was naked, he threw his clothes on the basket beside his bed. He went to get fresh clothes and arranged them on bed.

 Chuuya entered the bathroom, and his jaw dropped. This was probably the best room in the entire penthouse. The bathroom was spacious, a circle bathtub, that was two big for one person, was placed near the glass window, which gave you an amazing view while bathing. There was a large glass shower enclosure in front of the bathtub, which even had a seat inside. Two large vanity sets were on each opposite walls.

But what caught Chuuya’s eyes was the other door on the other side of his door. Maybe it was a walk-in closet or another room for the toilet, which excited Chuuya more. Chuuya walked towards it, and opened it, only to see Dazai laying on his bed, who turned his head at the door being opened.

Dazai looked at him up and down, his eyes slowly taking in Chuuya’s body. He even looked down at Chuuya’s dick a little longer than he should, and smirked. Chuuya stood there frozen, and naked, in front of Dazai, who was still checking him out. Chuuya then realized what was happening.

A bathtub too big for one person

A large shower enclosure too big for one person

Two vanity sets on each opposite sides

Two doors inside the bathroom

Chuuya and Dazai were sharing one bathroom. So this is what Dazai meant earlier. They might not have been sharing a bedroom, but Chuuya would rather share a bedroom than a bathroom with Dazai.

“For your height, I didn’t expect you to be that big.” Dazai commented, winking at Chuuya, as he points on Chuuya’s dick. Chuuya looked down, and back up to Dazai.

“Shut the fuck up, Dazai!” Chuuya screamed on top of his lungs, as he slammed the door hard, almost breaking it into two. He heard Dazai laughing on the other side of the room.

Chapter Text

It has been one week since he and Dazai started living together, and living with Dazai was like living with a ghost. After what happened the first night, he barely saw Dazai for the whole week. He didn’t even know if Dazai was coming home or not. Whenever Chuuya woke up, Dazai was already nowhere to be found, and Chuuya would always come home to an empty house.

There were only three instances he saw or bumped into Dazai at home and it was always when Chuuya was showering or when he was in the bath tub. After the first night, Chuuya realized that both doors in the bathroom can only be locked on the other side, which means Dazai could just walk in anytime whenever Chuuya was inside the bathroom.

The first instance was on the second day of living together, Chuuya decided to use the bathtub for the first time. He woke up around noon that day, and Dazai wasn’t at home anymore so he decided to take a long, hot bath.

While he was bathing, and enjoying the view, Dazai suddenly went inside, wearing a bath robe, which Chuuya was so thankful for (he wasn’t interested in seeing what’s underneath that). Even in the bathroom, Dazai was still wearing his bandages on his arms, neck, and eye.

“Here I thought, I could shower alone, but I think this is better.” Dazai breathed, gazing at Chuuya, which made Chuuya grimaced. Dazai was making his way towards Chuuya, slowly undoing his bathrobe.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Dazai.” Chuuya gritted through his teeth, but Dazai was looking at Chuuya like he wanted to wreck him.

“Don’t you wanna bathe together? You do know that this tub is for two people, right? We could even have sex in here.” Dazai said, his voice sounded deeper and breathy. Chuuya didn’t liked it one bit.

“Get the fuck out, Dazai!” Chuuya yelled, as he threw water on Dazai. He didn’t know why he was feeling so hot and bothered by what Dazai said like a virgin (which he isn’t), maybe because it was Dazai who said that.

“Tsk, Chuuya is so boring.” Dazai sighed, turning his back on Chuuya, leaving the room.

The second instance was on the third day of living together, Chuuya woke up at 4 am, and couldn’t go back to sleep. He decided to take a short shower to start his day. While he was showering, Dazai walked inside the bathroom, it looked like he just got home. He was still wearing his black long coat. Dazai looked at Chuuya like he was surprise to find him in the shower so early in the morning.

“Oh, didn’t expect to see you this early.” Dazai said, as he opened one of the drawers in his vanity set, grabbing a few rolls of bandages. Chuuya ignored Dazai and continued washing his body, despite him being naked in front of him again.

“Should I join Chuuya? I feel like having a shower after a long day.” Dazai said, standing beside the shower enclosure, right in front of Chuuya. Dazai looked at Chuuya’s body again, stopping at Chuuya’s dick.

“Looks like someone’s excited.” Dazai smirked. Chuuya looked down, and oh my fucking god, he was fucking hard. He was hard, and Dazai’s right in front of him, looking at his hard on. Chuuya immediately covered it with his hands.

“Get. Out.” Chuuya growled, which made Dazai’s smirk bigger.

“Don’t be shy, Chuuya~ Do you need some help?” Dazai offered, waving his hand in front of Chuuya.

“You fucking bastard, GET OUT!” Chuuya shouted. He could feel the glass vibrate because of his voice. Dazai laughed, and winked at Chuuya, finally leaving the room. It took Chuuya a while to get off, trying so hard not to think about Dazai staring at him.

The third instance was on the fourth day, Chuuya had just gotten home and it was already around 11 pm. He was exhausted for doing work in the city, and he also had reports to do and sign. He bought bath products so he could enjoy a scented bubble bath after a tiring day. He also bought wine to enjoy the bath more, even though he was just a minor, he loves wine.

After Chuuya had set up the bath, and placed the table from his room beside the bathtub. He placed the bottle of wine on top of the table, as he drank while enjoying the relaxing bath. One glass had turned to eight glasses. The thing about Chuuya is that he was a lightweight which he really hated because he loved to drink.

On his ninth glass, he could feel his head spin, he slowly closed his eyes, resting the back of his head on the edge of the bathtub. When he opened them after a while, he was met with brown eyes staring directly at him, just a few inches above his face, which caught Chuuya by surprise.

“What the fuck, Dazai. You scared me.” Chuuya said, slightly slurring. He was already tipsy. He moved his body to directly face Dazai. Chuuya rested his chin on the edge of the bathtub.

“Chuuya, are you drunk?” Dazai said teasingly, poking Chuuya’s cheek. Chuuya swatted Dazai’s finger.

“No… Hmmm, maybeee a little?” Chuuya drawled out, looking up at Dazai, who was looking down at Chuuya. His vision was getting blurry and hazy. Dazai kneeled in front of the bathtub, until he was on eye level with Chuuya.

“So cute, my chibi.” Dazai whispered so low, Chuuya almost hadn’t caught it.

 Chuuya closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Dazai anymore. He could feel Dazai’s hand on his hair, gently stroking it. The exhausting day, the scented bath, the wine and Dazai’s hand made him just want to pass out in the bathtub.

“Heeyy Dazai.” Chuuya called out, Dazai hummed in response. “Why’d you kiss me that night?” Chuuya wasn’t even thinking of what he’s saying anymore. He could just regret this in the morning, even blame it on the alcohol, but he wanted to know, wanted to see Dazai’s face.

“You kissed me too, Chuuya.” Dazai let out a small laugh, as he continued to stroke Chuuya’s hair.

“Why did you have to look at me like that?” Chuuya whispered, opening his eyes to see to look at Dazai, to see even just a little reaction to that impassive face.

“Like what?” Dazai said, tilting his head to the side, gazing at Chuuya’s eyes. His dark brown eye looked like it was challenging Chuuya to say it.

“Like you wanted me.” Chuuya breathed. He stared at Dazai whose eye slightly widen, his jaw clenched. He could feel Dazai’s hand on his hair paused, and just stayed there. But everything just happened in a second, like it didn’t happened at all.

“You must be so drunk, Chuuya~” Dazai said with his fake enthusiasm. He let out a laugh, an obviously fake one. Chuuya sighed, so it was back to this fake happy mask. “Chuuya should sleep now, or you’d drown in the bathtub.” Dazai stood up, turning his back, and left. Not even glancing back at Chuuya.

Chuuya got off the bathtub after that, finishing the wine on his room until he passed out in bed.

He hadn’t seen Dazai since that night, which means he hadn’t seen Dazai for three days already. He didn’t know if they just didn’t crossed path (which is impossible because they now live in one penthouse and share one bathroom) or if Dazai just haven’t come home since then.

Chuuya had invited Tachihara for dinner and wine at his penthouse tonight, like a housewarming dinner. He also invited Kouyou, but she declined because she was busy doing work. He didn’t informed Dazai about the dinner, of course, after all that humiliating moments in the bathroom, Chuuya doesn’t know if he could still face Dazai.

After preparing for the food, and showering. He was just dressed in normal black trousers, and a red sweater. He still kept his choker on. Chuuya made the finishing touches by preparing the table, and the wine. While waiting for Tachihara to come, Chuuya decided to have one glass of wine to lift up his mood. Tachihara came not long after.

“Wow. That’s all I can say. Wow.” Tachihara said, as he walked around the penthouse, looking around it with his eyes wide.

“Right? Boss really went all out.” Chuuya laughed, already sitting at the dining table, sipping his wine, waiting for Tachihara to finish exploring the house.

“Well, you deserve this. You were the one who ended the Dragon’s Head Conflict.” Tachihara commented, finally sitting down on the table in front of Chuuya.

“Whoa. This is a lot.” Tachihara breathed out, as he looked at all the food present on the table, which made Chuuya smiled. On the table, Chuuya had prepared lemon pepper chicken, Cajun pepper steak, and mashed potatoes.

“Is it? Well, I didn’t know what to cook so I just went all out, I guess? This is actually the first time I cooked in this house and this is supposed to be a housewarming dinner, I wanted to prepare something good.” Chuuya went on, while Tachihara just stared at him, smiling. Chuuya looked at Tachihara, raising his eyebrows.

“What?” Chuuya asked. Tachihara shook his head, and picked up his spoon and fork, and started putting portions of the food to his plate. Chuuya looked at him, as he took the first bite of the steak, Tachihara’s eyes widen.

“Chuuya, oh my god, this is so good.” Tachihara sighed in satisfaction, as he continued to eat which made Chuuya let out a breath he didn’t know he had.

“Thank you, Michizou. I’m glad you liked it. You’re actually the first person to try out my cooking in the Port Mafia.” Chuuya admitted. Even Kouyou had never tried out Chuuya’s cooking, because he was anxious that maybe Kouyou wouldn’t like it, and most of the time, they would always dine out in restaurants.

“Really? I’m happy. This is really delicious, Chuuya.” Tachihara grinned at him. Chuuya started eating, and the two of them had small talk throughout dinner.

After the Dragon’s Head Conflict, he and Tachihara had gotten closer. Both of them would help out in the restoration of the city together, and would hang out after if they weren’t tired. They would eat lunch or dinner together. They even had gone to first name basis, well only Chuuya since Tachihara had been calling him by his first name ever since

Being with Tachihara was comfortable, and Chuuya liked that. Living out the Mafia life was hard, even for someone as talented as Chuuya. The bloodshed, the violence, the death, all of it was too much for a teenager, and yet Chuuya had lived through all of those. Chuuya had get used to all the blood on his hands.

And being with Tachihara made him feel like a teenager, which he is. Tachihara made him feel like they were both normal teenagers, living out a normal life, just hanging out with each other, talking and laughing about everything. It was nice to feel like a teenager even just for a short while. It was nice hanging out with a person who felt warm instead of someone who felt cold and cruel.

When they both had finished dinner, they switched to the living room, sat on one of the couches and started drinking wine. They were just talking about random things like judging the Port Mafia members or talk about the missions they had before the Dragon’s Head Conflict or what would have happened if the Dragon’s Head Conflict had never happened. They even talked about the places outside of Yokohama that they would want to go or travel to.

“What is it like to live with Dazai the Demon Prodigy?” Tachihara asked curiously.

“Like a ghost. He’s barely home. I actually haven’t seen him for days, which is a good thing because I don’t wanna see his ugly, bandaged ass.” Chuuya scoffed, rolling his eyes, which made Tachihara laugh.

After how many glasses of wine, Chuuya had lost count, both of them were already drunk. Chuuya learned that Tachihara was also a lightweight like him. Both of them were laughing about Dazai’s ugly ass or the way Hirotsu scold the Black Lizard or how everybody knows that Kajii has a crush on Kouyou.

When they both were calm after laughing so much, Tachihara placed down his glass on the coffee table, and looked at Chuuya, who continued to sip his wine. Chuuya’s head was spinning, he was drunk, and he knows that.

“Chuuuuyaa, your cheeks are red.” Tachihara slurred, poking his cheek. A scene passed in Chuuya’s mind, an image of Dazai poking his cheek a few days ago when Chuuya was also drunk.

“Reaaaallly?” Chuuya drawled out, putting his palms on his cheeks and squeezing it, which made Tachihara laugh out loud.

“Chuuuya, you’re soooo cute. I wannaa eat you up.” Tachihara slurred, placing his hands on top of Chuuya’s hand, and squeezed his cheeks. Chuuya looked at him in wide eyes, and then suddenly he pulled Tachihara close to him, and kissed him.

Chuuya didn’t know what happened and why he did it. It might have been because they were both drunk. It might have been because their faces were too close to each other. It might have been because Tachihara was holding Chuuya’s hand. It might have been because Tachihara was a warm person, and Chuuya wanted to feel that warmth.

Their kiss was messy, sloppy, and it tasted like sweet wine. Their mouths were everywhere, both desperate to have a taste of each other. It might have been the wine that made this so intoxicating.

 It has been a while since Chuuya had been this desperate in making out (let’s not count the kiss with Dazai, because that was a mistake and he was not desperate that night).

Right before Chuuya could get on top of Tachihara, a door opened, specifically the front door. Chuuya broke off the kiss and looked at the door, a tall figure was standing there, just staring at them. Chuuya couldn’t hide the startled look on his face, like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

“I didn’t know we had guests, Chuuya.” Dazai said, his voice so harsh and cold, it made Chuuya shiver, almost sobering him up. The look on Dazai’s face was dark, indescribable, like the face he always wear on missions. Chuuya got off Tachihara, and sat back down on the couch.

“I can invite who I want, Dazai.” Chuuya spat out. Chuuya didn’t like Dazai’s tone or the way Dazai was looking at him right now.

“Leave.” Dazai ordered to Tachihara, who was still lying on the couch. He looked at Dazai in surprise, like he couldn’t believe Dazai was making him leave. That shocked Chuuya.

“What the fuck are you doing, Dazai? This is also my house.” Chuuya said in disbelief, glaring daggers at Dazai. Chuuya looked at Tachihara, “Stay.”

“Leave right now. I order you as an Executive.” Dazai commanded again, his voice loud and unwavering, like the way he talks to the lower members of the Port Mafia or the members that were under his command.

“Fuck you, Dazai. Shut the fuck up. I’m also an Executive.” Chuuya walked unsteadily towards Dazai, who was still standing in the doorway, ready to punch that fucking dead cold face he had on. Chuuya’s head was still spinning, even though he was slowly sobering up with what’s happening. He felt a hand on his arm, he looked back, and saw Tachihara.

“I’m just going to leave, Chuuya. It’s okay.” Tachihara said, his voice slightly slurring, he walked passed Chuuya, and bowed slightly to Dazai, closing the front door. Both of them were still obviously drunk. Chuuya would have invited Tachihara to just sleep here since it was getting late, but unfortunately, Dazai just had to go home.

“You fucker!” Chuuya shouted, as he punched Dazai in the face. Dazai didn’t even stop or dodge Chuuya’s punch. Dazai stumbled, holding his cheek. Chuuya went to punch Dazai on the face again but this time Dazai dodged him, held Chuuya’s arms, and slammed him on the front door, which caused Chuuya to groan at the contact.

“You fucking bastard, just please go and die right now.” Chuuya yelled at Dazai’s face. He could feel the alcohol leaving his system the angrier he is. Chuuya’s back was still on the wall, Dazai hovering over him.

“Are you that angry because I told your boyfriend to go home?” Dazai taunted, staring directly at Chuuya with that cold dead eye Chuuya wished he could remove from Dazai’s face.

“What the fucking hell is your problem with Tachihara?” Chuuya snarled, glaring at Dazai. Chuuya is fully aware that Dazai hates Tachihara but every time Tachihara is mentioned or whenever Tachihara was close to Chuuya, Dazai would always turned colder than usual and let it out on Chuuya which infuriates Chuuya so much.

“I hate it when someone touch what’s mine.” Dazai whispered, as he went closer to Chuuya’s face, that Chuuya could practically feel Dazai’s breath on his mouth. “Shouldn’t you know that already?” Dazai’s lips brush against Chuuya’s.

Chuuya felt his brain malfunction, because the moment Dazai’s lips touched his, he bit it so hard, he could taste the blood but that caused Dazai to fully press his lips to Chuuya. This kiss wasn’t like the first one they had, or like the kiss he had with Tachihara. This one was rough, aggressive, and full of anger.

Dazai was pinning Chuuya on the front door, his knee in between Chuuya’s legs. Chuuya had his hands wrapped around Dazai’s neck, pulling him closer. They were both groaning in pain and pleasure as their teeth clashed with each other, their lips probably bruised, and their tongue tasted like iron.

Chuuya’s brain had officially stopped functioning, as he grinded on Dazai’s knees for more. He should be punching Dazai’s face right now, not sucking it off. He was too angry, too infuriated right now but he also didn’t want to stop. He wanted more, and he could feel that Dazai also wanted more.

Chuuya knows he should stop, to push Dazai away from him, but he kept pushing him closer. He wrapped his legs on Dazai’s torso, as Dazai lifted him up. He broke of the kiss and started kissing Chuuya’s jaw to his neck, sucking it, leaving hickeys.

“Fuck you, Dazai, fuck you.” Chuuya tried to snap but it only came out as a moan, as Dazai sucked off his neck. Chuuya was grinding down on Dazai, and he could feel that both of them were already hard. Dazai then started going lower, and started kissing his collarbones, but then Dazai suddenly stopped which made Chuuya glared down at him.

“Chuuya is so heavy, my arms’ gonna fall off.” Dazai said, pouting. Chuuya groaned, and pushed Dazai away from him.

 Chuuya walked back to the living room, and grabbed the unfinished wine. He walked towards the hallway towards their room, chugging the wine in one go. He needed to be at least drunk (again) to be able to go through with what’s happening right now. He looked back at Dazai who was just staring at him.

“What the fuck are you waiting for over there? The door’s fucking hurting my back, you fucking asshole.” Chuuya snapped, and walked inside of Dazai’s room. He was not going to have sex with Dazai in his room. Dazai followed him shortly, who was looking at him in confusion, like couldn’t believe what was happening.

Chuuya grabbed Dazai, throwing him into the bed. He went top of Dazai, as he kissed Dazai with so much force like their kiss earlier. Chuuya started removing his sweater, and unbuttoning Dazai’s vest and dress shirt, throwing it on the side. Chuuya broke of the kiss, and looked down on Dazai’s body, his neck, his chest, and his stomach were all wrapped in bandages.

“Fuck, how do I do this shit, Dazai? I won’t fucking have sex with bandages all over you.” Chuuya said, brushing his hands over the bandages. He looked at Dazai whose eyes were the darkest Chuuya had ever seen. Maybe because it was dark, and the only light was coming from the window.

Dazai looked like he was lost in thought, Chuuya was about to get off Dazai, when Dazai grabbed Chuuya’s hand. “I’ll take them off.” It was so low, he barely heard it. It made Chuuya’s stomach churn. Chuuya already had an idea what was beneath those bandages ever since that day.

They weren’t even that close, and asking Dazai to take them off, letting Chuuya see Dazai’s skin all exposed and bare might have been too much to ask for. Even though Chuuya would like to strangle Dazai in his sleep, he still would never forget that image of Dazai in his old room in the headquarters. Dazai who was passed out in his bed, with two cuts on his wrist. Even though, it was almost 6 months ago, Chuuya would always think about that day from time to time.

 If Dazai’s scars were something he had to hide from every one, every day of his life. Why would Chuuya ask to take them off just for sex? Instead of being angry at Dazai for what happened earlier, he suddenly feel weird about it.

Chuuya then shook his head, “No, don’t. Nevermind. Its okay.” which caught Dazai by utter surprise. Chuuya looked at Dazai’s eye widen and he just nodded, like he couldn’t believe Chuuya which made Chuuya want to smile because he got a genuine emotion from Dazai.

Dazai pulled Chuuya into a kiss, but this time it wasn’t as aggressive as before but it was still rough. Dazai held Chuuya’s cheeks and pulled Chuuya into him, and they just stayed like that making out for a while. Chuuya started removing his and Dazai’s pants, as Dazai kept pulling him closer.

When both of their pants were off, Dazai placed his hands on Chuuya’s hips and started grinding Chuuya on him, which caused a moan from the both of them, feeling more sensitive as the only clothing they had was their underwear. They both could see the shape of their hard-on from their underwear.

“Do you have lube and condoms here? Chuuya moaned into Dazai’s mouth, grinding on Dazai.

“It’s in the bathroom.” Dazai mumbled, which made Chuuya groaned. He got off Dazai, and laid beside him.

“Go get it, then.” Chuuya said, waving his hands off towards the bathroom. Dazai stood up from bed, and entered the bathroom.

When Dazai was gone, Chuuya removed his underwear and started stroking his dick, brushing over the slit, which made him moan. Dazai suddenly entered the room, now fully naked, a bottle of lube and packs of condom on his hand. Dazai’s eyes rake over Chuuya, stopping on Chuuya’s hand on his dick.

Dazai placed the lube and condom on his bedside table, and crawled in front of Chuuya, stopping on top of Chuuya’s dick. Dazai removed Chuuya’s hand, and started stroking it. Chuuya hummed, closing his eyes at the friction. Dazai stroke it a few times, then he felt something cold and wet. He opened his eyes, and Dazai had started licking the slit, making Chuuya moan in pleasure. Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s hair and pushed Dazai’s mouth into his dick so he can entirely suck off his dick.

Dazai started bopping his head up and down, his tongue brushing of the slit when he goes up. Chuuya pushed Dazai down until he could feel it hitting Daza’s throat. Chuuya was a mess now, moaning, and gripping Dazai’s hair. When he could feel his release coming, he pushed Dazai off of him. Dazai wiped off his lips, saliva dripping from the side of his mouth.

Chuuya then grabbed the bottle of lube and threw it on Dazai which Dazai caught easily. Dazai then started coating his fingers with lube, he then held Chuuya’s thighs to spread it open but then Chuuya kicked Dazai’s hand.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Chuuya asked in horror, as he glared at Dazai, who looks so confused.

“Opening you up?” Dazai said, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“Who the fuck said you’d get to fuck me?” Chuuya said. Dazai’s eyes widen at the realization, his mouth slightly parted, but quickly masked it off with a smirk. Chuuya squinted his eyes at him.

“Chuuya’s a top? For someone as small as you?” Dazai said teasingly, which earned him a kick on the face.

“I’m a switch, but I’m angry at you so I’m going to be the one who’s going to fuck you. So fucking loosen up yourself cos I don’t want to touch your ugly ass, and I want to get off already.” Chuuya snapped, he was getting impatient. Instead of just getting it on, they had so many intermission before going right to it. Good thing, he was still hard from getting sucked by Dazai.

Dazai then spread his legs in front Chuuya, and started loosening himself up by inserting one finger. Dazai moaned at the intrusion which made Chuuya’s dick twitch. Dazai then added another finger, Chuuya crawled towards Dazai, pulling Dazai into a kiss. Chuuya’s hands were everywhere, trailing over his bandaged chest, his stomach, until it reached lower. Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s dick, stroking it slowly, as Dazai continued to loosen himself up, adding a third finger. Dazai was practically moaning in Chuuya’s mouth.

“I’m ready.” Dazai moaned into Chuuya’s mouth. Chuuya broke of the kiss, opened a condom and put it on. Grabbing the bottle of lube, he pressed a generous amount on his hand, applying it on his dick.

Dazai moved on top of the bed, lying back down on bed. Chuuya then went between Dazai’s legs, spreading his legs out and putting it on his shoulder. Chuuya placed both of his hands on Dazai’s hips. He positioned himself on Dazai’s entrance, and slowly entered the head inside of Dazai.

Both of them moaned at the same time, Dazai was tight, too tight for Chuuya’s liking. He paused to let Dazai breathe, to let him get used to Chuuya’s size. He looked at Dazai, who was closing his eyes, gripping the sheets hard.

“Is this your first time?” Chuuya asked, his voice low and raspy. He noticed that Dazai’s body was too tense, too stiff. Dazai didn’t answer him, and just continued to grip the sheets tighter as Chuuya slowly pushed inside. Chuuya stopped again, and started rubbing circles on Dazai’s hip.

Chuuya knew. Chuuya understood that this was Dazai’s first time to be fucked by someone. Dazai might have fucked someone, but he never got fucked. His reaction earlier gave it off when he realized that Chuuya was the one who was going to fuck him.

“I’ll stop if this is too much for you. You can just suck me off, if you want.” Chuuya said, as much as he want to fuck Dazai right now. Dazai looked like he was too uncomfortable with this, and Chuuya’s dick barely entered Dazai.

Dazai shook his head, “No. Just give me a minute.” Dazai breathed out. He started to take deep breaths, as Chuuya continued to rub circles on his hips.

“Just relax, you’re too tense.” Chuuya said, as he started kissing Dazai thighs, biting and sucking them off, leaving hickeys on it. He looked at Dazai, who opened his eye. There were tears on the corners of his eye.

Who would have thought the Demon Prodigy, the youngest Executive in Mafia History, the cold and ruthless Dazai was here under Chuuya, on the verge of tears because it was the first time he was getting fucked.

“Move.” Dazai whispered. Chuuya started moving slowly, Dazai was so warm and was too tight which Chuuya didn’t like, he felt that after a few pushes he would come right away. He was fully inside Dazai now, he did a few experimental thrusts, and when Chuuya felt Dazai starting to relax underneath him, he started picking up a pace.

Chuuya wasn’t soft and gentle when it came to sex. He wanted hot, rough, and violent sex. Sex that makes his legs shake, sex that makes his head spin, sex that makes his eyes hazy he can’t see a thing, sex that makes him scream, sex that ends up with bruises, hickeys, and scratches everywhere.

 The sex where the both of you can’t walk because it was that good. The sex that made you feel you couldn’t take it anymore but would still scream for more.

And fucking Dazai now made him want to do all that with Dazai. He wanted to wreck Dazai, to let all his anger out by fucking him until he can’t walk, until he can’t breathe. He wanted to fuck Dazai so hard Dazai wouldn’t forget the first time someone had fucked him. He wanted to ruin Dazai so bad, Dazai would be left writhing, screaming Chuuya’s name, begging for more.

“So fucking tight, Dazai.” Chuuya moaned, as he started to thrust deeper and faster. Chuuya looked at Dazai’s face, gone was the dead and impassive face he always had on.

Dazai’s mouth was open, moaning, tears were spilling from the corner of his eye. His bandaged right eye had wet spots on it due to the tears. Chuuya thrust harder just to see Dazai’s face, to see his reaction and fuck, the sound Dazai made didn’t even looked like it came from his mouth.

Just looking at Dazai right now made Chuuya wanted to come. Who would have thought Dazai would look so vulnerable, so exposed, so raw underneath Chuuya. He made sure to never ever forget Dazai’s face right now.

Chuuya started gripping Dazai’s hips harder when Dazai started tightening up on Chuuya. He was full on thrusting in and out, deeper, harder, and faster. The slapping of their bodies had filled the room. The both of them were making strangled gasps and pants. Moans and cried echoed inside Dazai’s room.

“Chu…Chuuyaa. Ple…Please.” Dazai stammered, his back arching. Chuuya grabbed Dazai’s leaking dick, and started stroking it, following the pace of Chuuya’s thrusts. Dazai was crying out loud now, begging for more which Chuuya proudly gave.

After a few strokes and thrusts, Dazai was screaming, as he came on Chuuya’s hands. Chuuya thrusts Dazai into his release, Dazai was so tight now, eating up Chuuya’s dick. Chuuya came shortly after that. Chuuya pulled out of Dazai, removing the condom and throwing it on the trash can. He collapsed on top of Dazai, not minding the mess on their stomachs.

“Are you okay, you fucking bastard?” Chuuya asked, his head was resting on Dazai’s bandaged chest. Both of them were panting, and soaked with sweat. He could hear the loud and rapid beating of Dazai’s heart. Oh, so Dazai did have a heart inside of all that ruthlessness, impassiveness, masks, and bandages.

Dazai hummed in response, Chuuya could feel Dazai’s body vibrate under him. After a few minutes passed by, both of them were breathing steadily. Chuuya could still feel Dazai’s rapid heart on his face. Chuuya was spent. That was probably the best orgasm Chuuya had, but he won’t tell Dazai that. And he hadn’t had sex since he joined the Port Mafia.

Chuuya was too tired to clean up now, he could just shower when he wake up in the morning. Chuuya could feel sleep taking over him, he closed his eyes, as fingers started stroking his hair, and he fell asleep to the sound of a heart beating.

Chuuya woke up the next day to a weight on his body, and feeling too warm on bed. He slowly opened his eyes, only to see a bandaged chest in front of him. He looked down, and a bandaged arm rested on his waist, holding him close, and they were naked. Their legs tangled to each other. He looked up, and Dazai was there sleeping, his chin resting on Chuuya’s hair. Chuuya blinked once, blinked twice, blinked thrice.

Chuuya suddenly got off Dazai, and sat on bed, his hands on his mouth. He looked at Dazai sprawled in bed, the bed was still a mess, and the sheets were undone. He looked around the room, their clothes were splattered everywhere on the floor. He looked at the bottle of lube, and trash can were the filled condom was.

“I fucking had sex with Dazai Osamu.” Chuuya said, his face in horror and disgust as the realization had come knocking him out.

His brain was fully functioning right now. His mind replaying the scenes of what happened last night. Chuuya was murmuring curses under his breath.

“Chuuya?” Dazai groggily said, wiping his eyes, his voice hoarse. Dazai sat up on bed, in front of Chuuya, looking at him confusedly.

But what shocked Chuuya more wasn’t the fact that Dazai and he had sex, or the fact that they cuddled after doing it, or the fact they slept on the same bed, or the fact that they were still both naked right now.

It was the fact that Chuuya was seeing two of Dazai’s eyes. Two light brown eyes were staring at him.

This was the first time Chuuya had ever seen two of Dazai’s eyes after more than one year of knowing and working with each other. Chuuya was mesmerized by Dazai’s eyes, it didn’t seem as cold and dull like usual.

 The sun was bright, and it made Dazai’s eyes shine. Looking at it felt like he was staring into soft, bright eyes. It didn’t feel like he was staring at Demon Prodigy Dazai or Executive Dazai.

It felt like he was staring at the Dazai who looked at him in concern and worry the first time he used Corruption. The Dazai who held Chuuya in his arms as Chuuya cried until he passed out after using Corruption to kill the White Dragon. The Dazai who looked into Chuuya’s eyes like he wanted him and kissed him after the last day of the Dragon’s Head Conflict.

They both just stared at one another in silence. Chuuya was the one who broke eye contact. Chuuya got off the bed and started picking up his clothes on floor, he felt Dazai’s eyes on him. Chuuya opened the door to the bathroom, and before closing it. He looked back on Dazai.

“This is just a one-time thing.” Chuuya said, slamming the door.

It wasn’t a one-time thing.

Chapter Text

Two months after living together, they couldn’t stop having sex with each other. Even though Chuuya would always say that it was going to be last time after they finish, they always seem to find each other doing it every time and everywhere.

And by every time and everywhere, it literally meant every time and everywhere. After they wake up, before they go to sleep, before they leave the house, even while eating lunch or dinner.

 They’ve probably fucked everywhere on the house. The living room, the couch, the dining table, on the kitchen counter, on Dazai’s bed, on the fucking floor. The only place they haven’t fucked in the penthouse is Chuuya’s room because Chuuya didn’t want any of Dazai’s sweat or come in his bed, and the bathroom.

They actually haven’t had shower sex or even bathtub sex even though Chuuya desperately wanted to try it out (the bathroom literally screams the best place to have sex) because of Dazai’s bandages. Having bathtub or shower sex would actually mean Dazai taking off all his bandages.

Chuuya nor Dazai had never opened up about the possibility of having sex without the bandages, they just let it be, even though it was a little hassle, Chuuya had gotten used to it.

The only bandage that Dazai had willingly removed in front of Chuuya was the one on his right eye. Chuuya had never asked that one to be removed, but Dazai would remove it at some times. Like when they have sex the night before their free day, or when Dazai had just showered and his hair was still wet.

They never talked about it being visible, and Chuuya didn’t had the guts to open it up or ask Dazai why he started removing it in front of him or why he had to cover it up when there’s literally nothing wrong with his right eye. But it felt nice seeing Dazai’s two eyes.

Chuuya felt more relaxed and comfortable when he sees Dazai’s eyes, it made Chuuya remember that Dazai was human, and he wasn’t the Demon Prodigy that everyone knows him as.

Just two months of living together, and seven weeks of endless fucking, Chuuya had gotten so used to fucking Dazai that they even get hard when they’re in the Port Mafia headquarters doing reports. They would do it on comfort room, and even on the torture basement where no one, not even Mori could see them. They would do it before training, or after training.

They even have done it during a mission when they were both assigned to do a stake out outside bar during the night. They were on top of the building, Chuuya was watching the entrance of the bar while Dazai was kneeling sucking him off. After that, Dazai whined so much that he was not satisfied because he hadn’t gotten off, so they did a quickie at the back of the building.

Because of always fucking everywhere and every time, they always had to buy a lot of small packets of lube. They even had stacked up on the bottle of lube and boxes of condoms because they were both that fucking horny. It might have been because they were both teenagers who worked in a very stressful environment and they both needed a very rough and aggressive release to relieve their stress.

Of course, Chuuya did the fucking, he never let Dazai fuck him even though he did want to get fucked already because he was getting tired of always being the one who’s fucking. Dazai did finger him a few times already but still he wouldn’t let Dazai fuck him (well, not yet) because letting Dazai fuck him would mean that he was going to submit to Dazai, and he was never going to submit to Dazai ever.

But fucking Dazai also had a lot of benefits because he can look at Dazai’s sex face begging for more, screaming Chuuya’s name over and over again. No one in this city would even imagine Dazai with tears in his eyes, as he cry out for Chuuya to go deeper andr faster, and Chuuya was the only person in the entire world that could see Dazai like this. The Executive Demon Prodigy crying, whimpering, and shaking underneath Chuuya.

Ever since they had started fucking, Dazai was always home now. Chuuya would wake up with Dazai by his side. Chuuya would always come home together with Dazai, or sometimes when both of them were busy, they would come home with either of them already at the penthouse. It didn’t feel like living with a ghost anymore.

Because of their constant fucking, Dazai and Chuuya were practically attached to the hip. They would spend most of their time together. In the house, in the headquarters, in the Executive office. They hadn’t become close to call each other as friends, but they were considered close close by their fucking.

And because Dazai and Chuuya were spending more time with each other, Tachihara and Chuuya had actually became distant the past two months, and it was because of Dazai. After the housewarming dinner at Chuuya’s penthouse, Tachihara had become awkward and started avoiding Chuuya. He would still greet Chuuya from time to time but whenever Chuuya would invite him for training or to hang out, Tachihara would decline saying he was busy.

After a while, Chuuya found out that after Dazai and he had sex for the first time, when Chuuya had passed out. Dazai had actually texted Tachihara using Chuuya’s phone this:

To: Michizou

From: Chuuya

hey michizou! so about last night, what happened to us was a mistake, and i was so drunk i didn’t know what i was doing. it would be best if we forget what happened. we’re still friends tho but i think it would be better if we don’t hang as much anymore. i’m really sorry.

Chuuya had punched Dazai so hard the day he found out about the text that Dazai spat out blood from his mouth. That day was probably the roughest and most aggressive sex they ever had since they started fucking. They were practically choking and biting each other. In the aftermath, Chuuya had so many bruises and hickeys on his chest and thighs because Dazai was also angry that Chuuya was angry at him for something so trivial like Tachihara.

Chuuya wanted to talk to Tachihara and to clear things up with him, but it already felt too late. It was so hard to get Tachihara alone, they haven’t even trained together anymore. Tachihara had been using the other training room on the other building of the headquarters. And Dazai was always by his side which made it even harder to meet Tachihara so Chuuya had just let it be.

A lot of people had noticed that Chuuya and Dazai had gotten closer, that they have been spending more time together. The first person to tell them this was Hirotsu. It was about a month and a half since they started living together. Chuuya was alone and had passed by Hirotsu in the elevator.

“Nakahara-dono,” Hirotsu greeted, bowing. Ever since Chuuya had become an Executive, Hirortsu had been calling him Nakahara-dono instead of the usual Chuuya-kun which actually surprised Chuuya the first time he hard it.

“Hirotsu-san.” Chuuya greeted back.

“If you don’t mind, I noticed you and Dazai had become closer this past month.” Hirotsu said, which made him look at Hirotsu in shock.

“Close? Me and Dazai?” Chuuya scoffed. Dazai and he weren’t close, they just looked like they were close.

“Yes. Is it because you’re living together or is it because you’re both Executives now or is it because you two are official partners? It just seems like you two have been bickering less than you did last year.” Hirotsu commented. Well the last part was true. Ever since they had started living together and having sex, they haven’t been arguing and shouting at each other all the time.

“We’re just growing up, Hirotsu-san, and I think if we still continued to argue like last year, Boss would kill us himself.” Chuuya said, letting out a small laugh, which made Hirotsu smile and nodded. Hirotsu didn’t ask anymore question after that. When Chuuya got off the elevator, Hirotsu bowed again.

The second person to tell Chuuya that he and Dazai had gotten closer was Kouyou, just two weeks after Hirotsu and Chuuya talked in the elevator. Chuuya and Kouyou were at an obviously expensive restaurant.

They were at a private room. Chuuya and Kouyou were just talking about Port Mafia, the reports for the Dragon’s Head Conflict, and some updates with the restoration of the City. They were done eating dinner, and we’re just drinking wine.

“Chuuya, I noticed you and Dazai had gotten closer since you started living together.” Kouyou said, looking at Chuuya from her wine.

“Yeah.” Chuuya nodded, as he drank his wine, looking away from Kouyou. Something about Kouyou’s gaze made Chuuya’s hair on his back stand up. Chuuya started bouncing his legs under the table. Had Kouyou see through what Dazai and Chuuya had been doing for the past weeks?

“I should warn you. Whatever the both of you are doing, stop it.” Kouyou said harshly, disapproval evident on her voice. Her eyes were sharp as she continued to stare at Chuuya. He glanced at Kouyou and let out a small laugh, trying to cover his nervousness.

“What are you talking about, Ane-san?” Chuuya asked, feigning innocence. Chuuya continued to drink his wine. His mind running through excuses, and reasons he could say to her. Kouyou knew, Kouyou knew what Chuuya and Dazai have been doing.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about, boy. You really think no one would know? You two make it so obvious.” Kouyou spat out, which made Chuuya flinched.

“Ane-san, it’s not what you think. We’re just… we’re just playing a game.” Chuuya stammered, his mind was blank as Kouyou stared at her with her razor-sharp red eyes.

“Is this just a game for you? You’re going to get yourself killed with your little game.” Kouyou said. She was angry, despite her keeping her composure, the glare and disappointment was evident in her face. Chuuya looked at her in confusion. What did she meant by that?

“Chuuya, I absolutely do not care what you do or who you do in your life, but not Dazai.” Kouyou said sternly, placing down her empty glass. She stood up from her seat, and walked towards the door, opening it. She looked back at Chuuya was just staring at her, a puzzled look on his face.

“Choose anyone but him.” Kouyou said, as she walked out the room.

One year after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, and eleven months after Chuuya and Dazai started living together, Yokohama City was officially back to normal, most of the structures were all repaired, some were still building a new one. The streets were filled with people again, traffic was back, shops and malls were open. Everything was up and going again.

Port Mafia has now the control and upper hand over the underworld organizations. They were at their peak year. With the aftermath of the Dragon’s Head Conflict, the Port Mafia had gain dozens of enterprises under their control, not only on the underworld but it also reaches politics, and economics. The influence of the Port Mafia had spread through the many sections of the city.

Port Mafia is now the strongest and most feared criminal organization in the city, thanks to Dazai and Chuuya

The Soukoku were feared throughout the city, and even outside of Yokohama. Their names were whispered on the dark alleys of being the most brutal and strongest duo in the Yokohama underworld history. Just hearing their names brought fear to everyone, and just passing by them made everyone crumbled on their feet.

Chuuya had been deemed as one of the most powerful and dangerous ability users in the city. No one had dare defy Port Mafia or the Soukoku duo, knowing well enough what was going to happened to them

While the city was still in restoration, about 4 months after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, Chuuya had made a goal to be able to fully control when and where he activates Corruption. Despite being sent to less missions due to the loss of most of the underworld organizations in the city. Chuuya had spent training day and night in the training room to control Corruption with Dazai’s help.

Dazai had created a chant to activate Corruption;

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.”

Chuuya had like it the first time he heard the chant. Dazai had chosen this line from his favorite poem, “The Sheep Song.”, which truly surprised Chuuya.

“It reminded me of what Corruption is, and the title of the poem reminded me of you.” Dazai said to him in bed, they had just finished having sex.

The next day, Chuuya looked for the poem everywhere. When Chuuya found and read Dazai’s favorite poem, he realized how much it reminded him of Dazai. The Sheep Song portrayed death. It expresses the feeling of despair as the expression of being alone, dreaming of death while eventually dying.

Dazai was indeed right, it did remind Chuuya of what Corruption is; death. Death to everyone who tries to destroy Port Mafia and Soukoku, and also death to Chuuya if Dazai doesn’t stop Corruption. But it also reminded Chuuya of Dazai. Dazai who craved death. Dazai who quietly wishes for death to come for him

Chuuya had read it over and over again, until he memorized each and every one of the lines and words written on the poem. Chuuya had cried that day, as he remembered the day he found Dazai unconscious in his room.

Over the year, Chuuya and Dazai had gotten even closer, especially in bed, despite Kouyou’s warning to Chuuya. Their sex relationship had also developed over the year, instead of the angry and violent sex they had on the first months, the sex they had now was less violent and focuses more on bringing pleasure to the both of them. Because of their curiosity, they also had explored more positions and added spice by trying out role play and sex toys.

Chuuya was still the top in their sex relationship, and Dazai was more than okay with that. Chuuya had not given in by letting Dazai fuck him, even though they’ve argued a lot of times because Dazai wanted to be the one on top.

But the biggest change in their sex relationship or even their relationship as a whole was that Chuuya had finally saw Dazai without the bandages and that they were having sex without Dazai’s bandages.

It was around 8 months after they were living together, Chuuya and Dazai had just gotten home from headquarters. They have spent the whole day triggering Corruption by using the chant. So far, they only had activated Corruption once but it was barely because of the chant. But progress is progress, even though it infuriated Chuuya. He desperately wanted to control when he can activate Corruption.

Chuuya entered the bathroom, already naked, planning on taking a long and relaxing bath in the bathtub when he walked in on Dazai taking off his bandages with fresh new rolls around him. Chuuya stood there frozen, while Dazai stared at him with wide eyes. In the time, they were living together, this has never happened ever.

Chuuya glanced at Dazai’s body, all the bandages on both of his arms and stomach were gone, and the only part of his body that was still covered by bandages was his chest and neck.. Chuuya had barely only looked at Dazai’s body, but even through the dim lights inside the bathroom, Chuuya had noticed the scars that covered his body although he didn’t see it clearly, he could make out the various scars on his arms. Chuuya quickly turned around, and left the bathroom

Chuuya cursed under his breath, and sat on his bed, rubbing his temples. This day was just getting worse. He could feel his insides churn at the thought that he might have crossed the line and saw something he shouldn’t have. They have never talked about what’s underneath the bandages, even though Chuuya already had an idea. Chuuya just walking in on Dazai taking them off felt so rude.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, then it slowly opened. Chuuya at looked at the door and Dazai had entered the room, but this time he was naked, truly naked. There was no bandages on him, he was standing there, his body showing bare and exposed skin. Chuuya looked away from Dazai.

“Why are you looking away, Chuuya? Is it that bad that you can’t look at my body without the bandages?” Dazai whispered, but it sounded so pained and bitter. Chuuya shook his head, still not looking at Dazai.

“No. I just thought you wouldn’t want me seeing it.” Chuuya answered with hesitation.

It was not because he couldn’t look it, it was because Chuuya felt that he had no right to look at Dazai like this. Chuuya had no right to see Dazai’s body bare. Dazai had spent his life every day covering his body to everyone, hiding the pain and scars he had endured. What gave Chuuya the right to see all of that?

He could see in his peripheral vision that Dazai was walking towards him, Chuuya’s room was dark, and the only light coming in was the light from the city night lights. Dazai was standing in front of him, and Chuuya looked down.

“Chuuya, look at me, please.” Dazai said, his voice sounded like he was begging Chuuya to look at him. Dazai placed his hands on Chuuya’s cheek, moving it up to make him look at Dazai.

Chuuya looked up at Dazai, and for the first time ever, Dazai’s face had an emotion Chuuya wasn’t familiar with. Longing. Dazai’s brown eyes was big, his eyes shining despite the darkness, looking at Chuuya like he wanted Chuuya, no, not wanted, it was like he needed Chuuya right now.

Dazai had always shown emotions despite him being impassive most of the times. Chuuya had seen Dazai angry, worried, concerned, annoyed, surprised, shocked, and even in pleasure. But he had never seen Dazai with simple genuine emotions like being truly happy or being truly sad, and seeing Dazai having an emotion on his face as deep and earnest like longing made Chuuya feel something he knew he shouldn’t feel deep inside his heart.

“Dazai.” Chuuya breathed. Dazai leaned down, and pulled Chuuya into a soft and tender kiss. It wasn’t like the aggressive kisses they shared these past few months, this kiss was like the first time they kissed. The warm and gentle kiss they shared after the Dragon’s Head Conflict.

Dazai slowly pushed down Chuuya on the bed, until Chuuya’s back was laid down on the bed, and climbed on top of Chuuya. Chuuya wrapped his arms around Dazai’s neck, pulling him close.

Chuuya could feel Dazai’s weight on top of him but he didn’t care, it felt amazing. Their fully naked body pressed together. It was the first time Chuuya felt Dazai’s body so bare. Chuuya could feel the warmth radiating off Dazai as he pulled him much closer.

Dazai’s hands was still on Chuuya’s cheeks, but Chuuya released his hands from Dazai, and started brushing his fingers everywhere. Dazai’s chest, stomach, his back, his shoulders, Chuuya wanted to feel Dazai’s uncovered body on his fingers, he wanted to be to touch all of it.

Chuuya could feel the roughness and the outlines of Dazai’s scars, he could feel it everywhere on his body. There were scars that were as big as his hands, some even bigger. There were scars that were long, some were wide, and some were little.

He could feel some scars that were just recently stitched on his arms which made Chuuya’s heart drop at the realization that Dazai was still hurting himself even now.

Chuuya broke off the kiss to catch his breath, both of them were panting. Chuuya looked into Dazai who was looking at him the same way he was looking earlier, that longing look. It felt so genuine, so sincere, like he was seeing another Dazai. The Dazai who looked at him like this. The Dazai who looked at Chuuya with so many raw emotions. The Dazai who kissed Chuuya so soft and so gentle like he was scared he was going to break Chuuya.

And deep down, in the deepest part of Chuuya’s heart and mind, he had really hoped that out of all the different Dazais he had encounter, this was the real Dazai. Because Demon Prodigy Dazai wouldn’t look at him like this, Executive Dazai wouldn’t look at him like this, Soukoku Dazai wouldn’t look at him like this, and Fuck Buddy Dazai wouldn’t look at him like this.

“Come here.” Chuuya said, as he flipped the both of them so Chuuya was the one on top.

Chuuya pulled Dazai back into a gentle kiss. Dazai placed his hands on Chuuya’s waist, he could Dazai’s thumb rubbing on Chuuya’s skin. This was nice, this could probably be Chuuya’s most favorite kiss they have ever shared, with their bodies pressed together, Dazai holding Chuuya, Chuuya’s hands on Dazai’s hair, their warmth filling the cold air.

Chuuya moved lower, and started kissing Dazai’s jaw, going lower as he reached Dazai’s neck. Despite the dim room, Dazai’scars were as clear as day, Chuuya could easily make out the scars on Dazai’s body. There was a faint line bruise on Dazai’s neck like he had just tried to hang himself, and some old scars that looked like knives had cut his skin. Chuuya kissed each one of those scars, and left a few hickeys on his neck.

“Chuuya, I…Uh…” Dazai stammered, as Chuuya went lower, and started sucking on Dazai’s collarbone.

 It hurt Chuuya to see all the scars, all the cuts, and all the bruises on Dazai’s body. Chuuya didn’t know why it hurt to see all of it. Chuuya doesn’t know what Dazai was feeling or what pain and suffering he had to go through with his scars, but even just for tonight and even just for a little bit, Chuuya wanted to soothe the pain Dazai had.

“Its okay, Dazai. I’m okay with it.” Chuuya whispered, as he went lower to his chest.

There was a big scar on Dazai’s chest, like someone had slashed him with a knife. It looked old, Chuuya kissed and sucked it, leaving a hickey. His chest had a lot of cuts, Chuuya didn’t know if this was inflicted by someone else or by Dazai himself but still Chuuya had kissed each one of them.

Chuuya felt Dazai relax underneath him, as Chuuya continued to explore Dazai’s body. On Dazai’s stomach there were a lot of scars that were obviously from knives, like someone had repeatedly stabbed Dazai on the stomach, there were about 7 stab scars. Chuuya kissed each one of them, lingering on the biggest scar, leaving a hickey.

Chuuya now moved to the side and grabbed Dazai’s left arm, he started kissing the scattered scars on his wrist which looked like he got from cutting himself. Most of them looked like they were old scars. There were scars that looked long and deep, and some were small but still were deep enough to scar. Chuuya placed soft kisses on each one of them. Chuuya moved upwards to Dazai’s upper arm. It didn’t have a lot of scars like on the lower arm, but still Chuuya had kissed them all.

He looked up at Dazai, who was staring at him in wide eyes, as if not believing that Chuuya was kissing his scars. Both of them were silent, too afraid to make a sound and ruin the moment. Chuuya leaned down and brushed his lips on Dazai’s and gave him a brief kiss.

Chuuya moved back down to his neck, then to his right upper arm, kissing the scars he passes by on Dazai’s body, and lastly Chuuya reached Dazai’s right lower arm and wrist. Chuuya intentionally made this his last because he will never forget the day he found Dazai on his room. The way it made him realize how Dazai was truly suffering and in pain.

Chuuya brushed his finger on the 2 large and deep scars on Dazai’s right wrist, it felt rough on Chuuya’s skin. Despite the wound being a year ago, you could still clearly see the outline of the scar. The cut that almost killed Dazai if Chuuya hadn’t found him. The cut that gave Chuuya nightmare for weeks. The cut that made Chuuya (lowkey) care for Dazai and his wellbeing.

Chuuya gently held Dazai’s right wrist in his hand, and place a lingering kiss on both of the scars. He suddenly feel wetness from his cheeks, and saw tears drop from his chin to Dazai’s scar. Chuuya didn’t know why but everytime he remembers the scars and Dazai’s unconscious body that day, tears start to fall from his eyes.

Chuuya hated it, hated how it made him emotional like this, hated how it made him sad, hated how it made him care for Dazai, hated how Dazai could make him cry like this and hated the fact that even though he hated Dazai, he still can’t help but care for him.

He felt a hand wipe the tears from his face, and he didn’t need to look up to see Dazai’s face. Chuuya could already feel it, in the way Dazai’s hand were wiping his face. The words “It’s okay” and “I’m sorry” lingering just from their gentle touch with one another. Chuuya felt his throat tighten at the realization that even though it was okay, Dazai was not okay, and he probably will never be.

He kissed Dazai’s body back again. Chuuya continued on liked that for the entire night, memorizing Dazai’s bare body, Dazai’s scars, kissing them, touching them. They didn’t had sex that night, and they didn’t need to. That night wasn’t a night to be spent on meaningless rough sex.

That night was a night both of them hadn’t expected to ever happen but it did, the moment they shared that night was something Chuuya couldn’t forget. He couldn’t forget the intensity of their emotions being felt through with their touch, with their kiss. No words were needed, as they held each other the whole night.

After that night, they never talked it. They never talked about why Dazai had suddenly decided to show Chuuya his bare body. They never talked about Dazai’s scars or where he got each and every one of those scars.

And they never talked about that night, they never talked about the way Dazai looked at Chuuya, they never talked about the way Chuuya had kiss each and every one of Dazai’s scars, they never talked about how Chuuya cried while kissing Dazai’s scars, and they never talked about anything that has happened during that night. It was like a mutual understanding to not speak of what happened that night, to just let it be like sharing a secret that no one should ever know.

But it was a night Chuuya had engraved so deeply in his heart.

Chapter Text

One year and nine months after the Dragon’s Head Conflict, Chuuya and Dazai had developed a routine with each other. In the mornings, they would either have shower sex or a quickie on bed, it depends whether they were going to be late or not, but most of the time they were always late so they would just shower together to save some time. Chuuya would sometimes cook breakfast if they had the time.

By the time they go the Port Mafia headquarters, they would either make reports, interrogate (torture) an enemy, but they would most likely train with each other, sometimes train with Akutagawa. Akutagawa was a young sick boy Dazai had brought back to the Port Mafia together with his little sister, Gin.

After Kouyou’s warning, Dazai and Chuuya had actually stopped having sex in the headquarters. Kouyou hadn’t open up about him and Dazai ever again. Even though there were were disapproving looks thrown at their way most of the time they pass by Kouyou.

When they’ve finished all their works in the headquarters, they would either go and get dinner, or if Chuuya wasn’t that tired, he would be the one to cook dinner. When they get home, the two of them would either shower together or have a relaxing bath, and after that if they weren’t too tired, they would just fuck each other.

But ever since Chuuya had been training to use the chant to activate Corruption, their sex life at night wasn’t as frequent as before. There were no rough aggressive sex that would go all night. There were no fucking till they see the sun rise. Chuuya would always be too exhausted after training and would just sleep as soon as he finishes showering, which annoyed Dazai sometimes, especially when he really needed a release.

On nights when Chuuya would just sleep it off, Dazai would leave at night to go out and drink with Odasaku and Ango. Chuuya knew Dazai leaves during the night but he never asked why, or who Dazai was with. As long as Dazai goes home without blood on his clothes, then Chuuya doesn’t care where, who or what Dazai does at night. (Okay, maybe Chuuya cares who Dazai fucks at night, only because he doesn’t want to get a sexual disease from Dazai.)

Chuuya’s training with using the chant to activate Corruption has been going well, even though it was exhausting Chuuya on days end, he still had gave it his all to achieve his goal. There were days he could freely activate Corruption by saying the chant, there were some days that Corruption would go out of control, and there were some days Corruption won’t be activated.

It was difficult but Dazai being by his side has made it a little bearable, he always just an arm’s length whenever Chuuya had activated Corruption. But Chuuya knew, he was almost there, just a few more weeks, and he can fully control when and where he can activate Corruption.

As the Soukoku, the strongest and most feared duo in the city, Mori had been giving them less missions but when he do assign them to one, it was mostly the difficult or impossible ones. Sometimes they would barely go unscathed, but with Chuuya’s use of Corruption, each mission they were given was always a success.

There were missions that Chuuya would have to use Corruption for a while, and there were missions that Chuuya would just have to use Corruption for a few seconds. Chuuya had used Corruption for 12 times ever since he first started using it, and the recent ones were activated by the the chant Dazai had created.

These past few months whenever Chuuya uses Corruption, he wouldn’t go unconscious for days after using it. Now he’d wake up in less than 24 hours, it depends on how long he had used Corruption unlike the first few times he’d used it.

The last time he had used Corruption was only a few weeks ago, and he had woken up a few hours after using it. He also doesn’t stay at the infirmary anymore, but sometimes he does when the damage to him him is big but if its not, Dazai would just take him home and let him sleep.

Recently, Chuuya and Dazai hadn’t been sent to a lot of missions due to them being Executives so they were mostly being busy due to paperwork or just coming up with concrete plans for missions they would send to lower ranked members that were under their command.

Also one reason, they haven’t been sent to missions was the fact that there were no threatening enemies ever since Dragon’s Head Conflict that needed the attention of the Soukoku duo but if Mori wanted something done quickly with no hesitation, then that would be time he would send out the duo.

But that was not the case today, both Chuuya and Dazai were called in on Mori’s office because they had been assigned to a mission. As both of them entered Mori’s office, Mori was, as usual, seated on his large chair. Elise was also there on the floor, coloring her drawings.

“Chuuya-san!” Elise greeted, running towards Chuuya to hug him. Elise also looked at Dazai but it was more of a glare, Dazai just rolled his eyes and just continued walking in front of Mori’s table. Chuuya was actually one of the few people Elise liked in Port Mafia. Chuuya paused to kneel down and hug her back.

“Hi, Elise-chan. It’s been a while.” Chuuya said, as Elise dragged him towards where her drawings were. Elise was drawing some of the Port Mafia members again. Elise was rummaging towards her drawings until she found the right one. She placed it infront of Chuuya’s face.

“Look, Chuuya, I drew us!” Elise happily said, as she shook the drawing infront of his face. And by us, she met him, Elise, and Tachihara. Tachihara was also another member Elise took a liking to, because it was Tachihara and Chuuya who would always accompany Elise when she goes out of the headquarters when Mori is busy.

Chuuya and Tachihara actually made up about a year ago, and they actually trained and spar together when Dazai was too busy to be with Chuuya during trainings. But most of the time, the only time they get to hang out is when they’re with Elise outside of headquarters. They also hung out a few times with just the two of them, either getting lunch or dinner.

Chuuya smiled at her, as he looked at the picture. Elise was in the middle of Chuuya and Tachihara, she was holding their hands, respectively. When she put down the drawing, she showed Chuuya another one, and it was a drawing of Chuuya, Elise and Dazai but Dazai’s had rough lines of the color red all over him.

“I also drew us and Dazai, but we killed him together!” Elise said, glaring at Dazai, who was just looking boredly at the two of them. Chuuya gave out a small chuckle, and ruffled Elise’s hair. Then someone cleared his throat.

“Elise-chan, can you do that later? I have something to tell them first.” Mori said softly, smiling at her. Elise rolled her eyes, stood up, and bid her goodbye to Chuuya before leaving the room. Chuuya walked towards where Dazai was standing.

“Okay, then.” Mori said, and he looked at the Soukoku duo, with all seriousness, “I need you two to go to London this weekend.”

“London? All the way to the United Kingdom? For what?” Dazai was the first one to speak up. He didn’t looked like he cared but he sounded like he wanted bail on this mission and just stay here in Yokohama. Chuuya, on the other hand, was kind of excited, it was going to be the first time he’ll be going to Europe.

Ever since he joined Port Mafia, the only countries he’d gone to were China, Taiwan, and Russia. Mostly to do Executive business or Soukoku missions but mostly it was just meeting other people with Kouyou or Dazai that could benefit Port Mafia’s future.

“I need you to assist and accompany Kouyou-kun to meet someone important.” Mori explained.

“If Ane-san’s going, why do we need to be there? Can’t you just send over members under Ane-san like always?” Dazai said, looking at Mori, who was looking at him with raised eyebrows. There was a pause, it was as if they were communicating through their eyes.

“Because, Dazai-kun, the person Kouyou-kun would be meeting is someone very powerful wealthy. And going to their headquarters on the other side of the world is obviously suicide but it was one of their conditions, and it would be beneficial for us if we have a good relationship with them.” Mori said, resting his chin on his knuckles. Dazai was the one who was raising his eyebrows now, giving a look that said ‘so-what’.

“And, I can’t just trust Kouyou-kun’s dogs with her life, when I know there’s a large risk that I may or may not lose Kouyou-kun if I send her with her dogs but with you two by her side, not only would Kouyou-kun be safe but we could also introduce them two of the most powerful ability users in Japan.” Mori said, smirking. But Dazai was unfazed, he slightly frowned. Chuuya was just observing the exchange between them.

“That’s a stupid plan.” Dazai commented, which surprised Mori.

“Care to elaborate on that, Dazai-kun?”

“First, you’re going to be sending three of the five Executives on one mission, and on a foreign place, that itself is plain stupid. Second, why send Ane-san there when you’ll also be sending us? Just let Ane-san stay, me and Chuuya can handle it ourselves. Or atleast choose between sending me or Chuuya to accompany her.” Dazai elaborated, looking at Mori like he was stupid.

“I know that, Dazai-kun, but like I said, this mission has been suicide since the beginning, and they specifically asked for Kouyou-kun. I think the head has taken a liking to her. And I need the both of you to accompany her because one of the conditions is to only bring two people aside from Kouyou-kun, and who would I trust the most than the legendry duo, Soukoku?” Mori said proudly, his head slightly tilted, as if challenging Dazai to say something, but all he did was hum and nodded.

“You’ll be staying there for five days, your stay there will be funded by them, from your hotels to your food. But you’ll be responsible for your personal expenses. Kouyou-kun will be explaining more about this mission on the day you leave. Is that clear?” Mori asked, looking at the both of them.

“Yes, boss.” Chuuya said, speaking for the first time since Mori talked. Dazai just nodded, already wanting to leave the place.

“You can leave.” Mori waved his hands towards them. Dazai immediately turned and walked away while Chuuya bowed his head, following Dazai out the door.

“Oh, and please do try not to enjoy too much. This is an important mission, not a vacation, okay?” Mori said, amusement evident on his voice. Chuuya didn’t bother looking back, scared of what emotion was plastered on Mori’s face despite his teasing voice.

Chuuya glanced at Dazai with his peripheral vision, for a moment, he saw Dazai’s jaw clench, a slight glare formed on his face, but it was passed by too quickly. Next thing he saw, Dazai was back to his impassive face.

It was their third day in London, and all Chuuya could say was how boring this mission was. So far, there have been no fights or deaths that have happened between them and the other organization, which was what made Chuuya bored as hell. And the fact that they were not allowed to leave the large mansion where they stayed just added to this excruciatingly long “mission”.

The day they left for London, Kouyou explained that they were meeting with the knight commander of an organization called, Order of the Clock Tower, which was based in United Kingdom. The Order of the Clock Tower is the most influential and powerful underground organization in London, and probably in the whole United Kingdom. They even had connections to the royal family.

This mission was top secret that only Mori and the five Executives, and some of the top ranks of the Order of the Clock Tower knew about this alliance. The goal of this mission was to forge an alliance between Port Mafia and the Order of the Clock Tower. This was just mostly to form a connection between two powerful organizations to back each other up. This alliance also had a lot of benefits, and one of them would be an increase in power and standing in their own respective countries.

And with the way things are going, Chuuya might say that this mission is close to achieving its goal. All that’s left is for the contracts and papers to be signed.

Another thing that surprised Chuuya when they arrived was that the knight commander of the Order of the Clock Tower is apparently a woman named, Dame Agatha Christie. She is a petite woman with long blonde hair who was the same age as Kouyou. The reason why Kouyou was specifically asked for was because they were both acquaintances who met each other at an Executive banquet a year ago, and Agatha, the knight commander, actually took a liking to Kouyou.

Chuuya drank his fifth tea for the hour, he was seated on a leather armchair outside of Agatha’s office, together with Dazai and a few of Agatha’s guards. Ever since they arrived, it was Kouyou and Agatha who personally talked about the partnership of both organizations, even Dazai was left outside.

Kouyou did summarize their meetings to the Soukoku duo and asked for opinions and oher plans but everything that both Kouyou and Agatha have discussed inside the office since the first day was only for them to know. Like Mori said, Dazai and Chuuya were only there to accompany Kouyou on this mission.

“Fuck, I’m so bored.” Chuuya said under his breath. He placed his cup of tea on the table in beside him and rested his head on the chair. The meeting has been going for more than an hour, Chuuya was hungry and tired from doing nothing.

“Same.” Dazai agreed. He was also seated in an armchair that was beside Chuuya’s, just staring at the paintings on the wall. They were not allowed to use their phone when a meeting was ongoing even though they were just staying outside which made this even more boring.

“I wanna go eat or drink some wine. The amount of tea I’ve been drinking is making me sick.” Chuuya gagged. Ever since they arrived in this mansion, the only drink they were given was either water or tea which was making Chuuya go crazy. He wanted wine, and some good wine. He hadn’t drank any wine since they left Japan.

 “I agree with you there. Let’s drink some amazing wine when we go back.” Dazai said. Chuuya looked at Dazai in surprise.

The thing is, Chuuya and Dazai had never drank alcohol together. They never went out to drink, they never even drank together at their own house. Because Dazai is not a fan of wine, and Chuuya doesn’t alcoholic drinks that aren’t wine. That’s why Chuuya either drinks with Kouyou, or Tachihara, and sometimes even Hirotsu comes with them at a bar. Chuuya also knows that Dazai usually drinks with Oda and Ango at some sketchy bar downtown. Before Chuuya could reply, the two large doors from Agatha’s office opened with Kouyou and Agatha leaving the room.

“I’m sorry for the wait, we didn’t realize we took a long time.” Agatha apologized to the men outside her office.

Chuuya and Dazai quickly stood up and slightly bowed their heads. Kouyou bid goodbye to Agatha, and three of them started walking back to their rooms. It was almost 10pm. The meeting started at around 8pm after they had their dinner.

“So? Any progress, Ane-san?” Chuuya asked.

“Yes, finally.” Kouyou happily sighed, “Agatha will finally sign the paper tomorrow morning before lunch.”

“That’s really good news, Ane-san.” Chuuya said happily.

“Also, this is our last night here. After she signs the contract, we will be leaving this mansion after we have lunch.” Kouyou said. Chuuya looked at her in surprise.

“Aren’t we going back to Japan the day after tomorrow?”

“Yes, but since the papers are signed, we no longer need to stay here for confidentiality. We’ll be moving into a hotel in the city. You can finally go out and enjoy London.” Kouyou informed which made Chuuya lowkey excited.

He can finally leave this fucking mansion in the fucking nowhere. Right after they arrived in London, they were driven to this mansion that was far from the city, located in the mountains, which Chuuya found out was Agatha’s summer home and safe house. The mansion was indeed big, with dozens of rooms, and a huge lot with a beautiful garden at the back but they literally had nothing to do here.

The reason they were “locked up” because despite being powerful, the Order of the Clock Tower had a lot of enemies, and if other underground organizations found out that Executives from one of Japan’s most powerful organizations were at London to strike a partnership, it could result to a massacre, or even worse, a conflict between underground organizations.

“Fucking finally, if we stayed one more day here, I would have killed myself at their nice garden.” Dazai said, which made Chuuya glare at Dazai. Kouyou just chuckled lightly.

“It wasn’t that bad here, you know. It was peaceful. A sight you never see in Yokohama.” Kouyou commented.

“Ane-san, this was probably the most boring mission I’ve ever gotten. We literally did nothing but sit and drink tea. I thought I was gonna lose my mind.” Chuuya exclaimed loudly, not caring if anyone would hear, they wouldn’t understand what they’re saying anyways.

“Chuuya, It would be boring for you because you live for fights, but this life was what I would have wanted, you know.” Kouyou softly said, slightly smiling sadly. She paused in front of her door, and looked back at both Chuuya and Dazai. They were already at the guest hall.

“Go rest now, on your own rooms, please. We have a long day tomorrow.” Kouyou said, as she entered her room, leaving Dazai and Chuuya alone in the hallways.

Chuuya scrunched his face. Dazai and Chuuya hadn’t actually slept with each other since they arrived here. They were just being careful, because what if there were cameras or voice recorders somewhere in their rooms, even though they checked every corner, it wouldn’t be bad to be careful of their surroundings especially in a foreign place.

Chuuya walked towards his room which was just in the middle of Kouyou’s room and Dazai’s room. Dazai walked infront of him, going straight to his door.

“Hey chibi,” Dazai called out, Chuuya turned and glared at him.

“Fu—” Chuuya, who was ready to scream at the top of his lungs, was cut off by Dazai.

“Come to my room tomorrow, will you? It’s been a while.” Dazai smirked but before Chuuya could muster a reply, Dazai was already closing his door. Chuuya kicked open his door loudly, and slamming it close more loudly than when he opened it.

“Fucking asshole, saying it like I’m a fucking prostitute.” Chuuya mumbled angrily.

But in the deepest part of Chuuya’s mind, he had been wanting to fuck Dazai too. I mean, how would he explain the bottle of lube and condoms that were hidden in his suitcase.

When the papers and contracts were signed, Port Mafia and the Order of the Clock Tower were officially allies. After their lunch, they were immediately escorted to a 5-star hotel in the city, called Claridge’s. Agatha also informed that the hotel was close to the Buckingham Palace and the Hyde Park. She also recommended some spots to visit if we wanted.

Chuuya and Dazai were together in one car while Agatha and Kouyou were in the other car. The whole car ride, Chuuya just slept because he didn’t want to spend the entire car ride in utter silence or with a screaming match with Dazai so he forced himself to sleep.

It was around 4pm when they arrived in the hotel. Chuuya woke up with his head on Dazai’s shoulder, and Dazai just smirking at him which ended up with a screaming match as they went up their rooms.

“Why is Chuuya so shy, huh? We’ve done more than just you sleeping on my shoulder.” Dazai teased. They were both inside the elevator alone. Agatha invited Kouyou for dinner and sightseeing so Chuuya and Dazai had the rest of the afternoon and night for themselves.

“I wasn’t shy so shut the fuck up!” Chuuya shouted at Dazai’s face.

“But your face when you woke up said otherwise.” Dazai said, imitating the “face” Chuuya had when he woke up.

“I did not look like that, shitty Dazai! I was just trying not to let Agatha’s men think of us as something more than a mafia duo. It would be bad for our reputation.” Chuuya argued, as he got off the elevator which was already on their floor.

“Ooh, so we are something more than a mafia duo?” Dazai taunted, his eyebrows raising, a hidden glint visible in his eyes.

“I did not fucking say that we were. I said, I did not want them to think that.” Chuuya snapped, his face scowling at Dazai, who was just looking at him. They were still in front of the elevator.

“Who cares what they think? You and I both know what we are.” Dazai softly said, as he continued to stare at Chuuya, making Chuuya scowl more.

“And what are we, Dazai?” Chuuya dared to ask, but he also did not want know the answer to that question, so he quickly turned his back and walked to his room, dragging his suitcase with him.

Chuuya did not see Dazai’s face when he asked that question, and he did not want to. He was scared of seeing Dazai maintain that impassive face but maybe he was more scared of seeing even a crack or change of emotion in Dazai’s face.

Dazai did not answer his question, and he need not to. They both know they wouldn’t like the answer to that question.

Chuuya unlocked his door, as soon as he found it. Dazai’s room was the one infront of his. Chuuya dragged his suitcase inside, closing the door, not bothering to look at Dazai anymore. He felt the slight tension that formed after he asked that question.

The suite was huge, it was much bigger than the Executive suites in the Port Mafia headquarters. It has a king sized bed, and a full marble bathroom. There was a chilled champagne on the middle of the dining table. It even had a minibar that was full of treats.

Chuuya grabbed the champagne, it was a Salon, Le Mesnil, Blanc de Blancs that was dated on 1995. This was an expensive champagne that was probably costed around 190,000 yen. Chuuya didn’t love champagne as much as he loved wine but he still liked it more than other alcoholic drinks so he removed the muselet and pulled out the cork, and started drinking it right from the bottle itself.

He could feel the buzz of alcohol that flowed through his throat. Chuuya brought the champagne to the living room, and started looking at the menu. It was almost dinnertime, but he was too tired and lazy to go down and eat from the restaurant of the hotel so he planned to order room service. Reading the menu was giving him a headache, there were a lot of English words and most of them were too fancy for him to understand.

He thought of asking Dazai to help him order but he did not want to have another screaming match with him. But Chuuya was also hungry, but he decided not to ask Dazai, his pride was too high for him to knock on his door. So he forced himself to read and understand each one on the menu.

After 30 minutes of reading through everything, his head slightly growing a headache from hunger and the amount of understanding he had to use, he finally decided on some sushi and sashimi, and a lobster main course. He ordered brownies and an ice cream for dessert. Even though he already have a bottle of free champagne in his room, he still ordered two additional bottles of wine.

He was going to get drunk on wine tonight and he didn’t care, he was going to remove tea from his system and replace it back with wine. After calling the hotel restaurant for his order, someone knocked on his door. He walked towards the door, and opened it.

“That was fast.” Chuuya said in English, thinking it was room service, but it was a freshly-showered Dazai, holding a bottle of champagne. It was the same one as the one he got in his room.

“Oh, were you expecting someone else?” Dazai asked, entering the room.

 His hair was still slightly wet and he smelled like vanilla. He was wearing a white silk bath robe that didn’t fully cover his scars in his neck and chest. He didn’t wear any bandages anymore which means he didn’t plan on going out for the night. Chuuya’s eyes lingered on the scars despite seeing them a lot of times already.

“I did not say you can come in, and yes, I was expecting room service.” Chuuya replied. It was already 6pm, and he was hungry as fuck. The last time he ate was the lunch that was almost 6 hours ago.

“Thank God, I was hungry too.” Dazai said, as he plopped on the couch, placing the bottle on the chiller.

Despite Chuuya wanting to spend the night alone drunk on wine, deep inside he also wanted to spend the night with Dazai. They were already leaving tomorrow at around 9pm for the last flight to Japan which means tonight was their last night in London and they have not had sex since they arrived. They haven’t even touched or kissed each other.

“You fucking asshole, order for yourself! I won’t fucking share so don’t ask from me.” Chuuya shouted at him, throwing the telephone at Dazai which he caught gracefully.

“Alright, stop shouting, Chuuya. We’re in a hotel. At least have some manners for our neighbors.” Dazai teased, which earned him a glare from Chuuya. Dazai picked up the menu and scanned through it.

“I don’t fucking care, Dazai.” Chuuya said, grabbing the champagne he already opened and left the living room, entering his bedroom.

“Hey! Where are you going?” Dazai called out.

“I’m going to take a bath, bastard!” Chuuya shouted back, as he started to strip his clothes, and entered the bathroom. Chuuya was scanning through the body wash and cleansers on his bathroom when Dazai appeared on the door, and stared at his naked body.

“Can I join?” Dazai said, raising his eyebrows up and down.

“No. Who will open the door when room service comes? And you’ve showered already.” Chuuya snapped. He chose the lavender scented one, and pour it into the bathtub. He watched as the water started to go up and bubbles formed in the bathtub.

“I can take bath again and I already told them to just leave it at the door.” Dazai smirked, as he removed his bath robe and hang it on the hanger. Chuuya glared at Dazai.

“No. I just want to take a bath, alone. Get out, Dazai.” Chuuya said, as he turned off the faucet, and sat down and submerge himself in the water. He placed the bottle of champagne beside the bathtub. Dazai was still there, standing infront of him.

Chuuya did truly want to take a bath alone, this was his only alone time, even when they were at home in their penthouse. Drinking wine while he was bathing was his therapy, and the only time he could be at peace, and he wanted peace before dealing with Dazai, and he knew he would be dealing with Dazai for the whole night.

But Dazai did not understand that, and because he was fucking annoying. He joined Chuuya inside the bathtub. Chuuya groaned and cursed out loud, grabbing the champagne and drinking straight from it.

“Fucking asshole doesn’t understand.” Chuuya mumbled in his breath, but Dazai was just fake laughing at him. He was seated infront of him, their knees touching because the bathtub wasn’t big enough for the two of them.

They were both silent. Dazai was resting his head on the wall, staring straight at Chuuya. Chuuya continued to drink champagne even through the silence, he could feel the bubbles in his mouth. His head slightly spinning, he looked at the bottle and he shocked to see that he was already halfway through it.

Dazai grabbed the bottle from Chuuya’s hold, and started drinking from it. Dazai grimaced from the taste. Dazai was also not a fan of champagne, well too bad for him, all the drinks they had for tonight were champagne and wine. Dazai started rubbing circles on Chuuya’s thigh, still staring at him.

Chuuya closed his eyes not wanting to see Dazai’s eyes anymore, this is actually peaceful, probably even more peaceful now that Dazai’s here with me, Chuuya thought. He released a sigh from his lips. What the fuck was Chuuya thinking? What the fuck were they doing? What the fuck have they started?

What are we? Chuuya thought, as he opened his eyes and stared back at Dazai.

They have been doing this shit like this for almost two years now. It was honestly fun at first, just fucking around like normal teenagers, because it was only sex at first. But then sex turned into this. What used to be rough and angry sex turned into whatever soft shit this is. It turned into something more ever since the night Dazai showed Chuuya his scars.

Screaming turned into whispers. Rough hands turned into soft lingering touches. Bruises turned into kisses. Glares turned into gazes. Sex was not just sex anymore, Chuuya knows that. Chuuya knows that Dazai also knows this. Everything has changed, and Chuuya isn’t sure if he likes this change.

What does Dazai think of all of this? Is this just some kind of joke to him or does he actually seriously think about this the same way Chuuya has been doing? The thing is, even after knowing Dazai for almost three years, Chuuya still doesn’t understand Dazai. But ever since that night Dazai showed Chuuya his scars, Chuuya felt like he understood Dazai a litte.

“Chuuya,” Dazai whispered, “What are you thinking about?”

Us, Chuuya wanted to say. “A lot of things.” Was what he said.

“Like what?”

“Like how you’re so fucking annoying and doesn’t understand the concept of personal space.” Chuuya snapped which made Dazai chuckled. Dazai set the bottle of champagne on the ground, and flicked water on Chuuya’s face which started a water fight inside the bathtub.

After a few minutes of throwing their bath water to each other, Chuuya finally stood up from the bathtub and dried himself with a towel. When he was dry, he put on the same white silk bath robe Dazai also wore. Chuuya grabbed the bottle of champagne on the side of the bed and drank it until it was finished.

“Come on. Let’s eat. I’m so fucking hungry.” Chuuya said, as they left the bathroom and entered the living room. His head buzzing from the alcohol, it was still an early night and he was feeling drunk already.

Both of them were only wearing their silk bath robes. Dazai went out to get the food that was already outside of their door. Chuuya grabbed the other champagne from the chiller, and placed it on the living room table. He plopped down the couch, and stared at Dazai who was pushing the trolley inside.

He could smell the mixed aroma of the food they ordered. When Dazai removed the round steel cover of service trolley, both their jaws dropped. The reason Chuuya ordered a lot of food was because he knew fancy and expensive hotels like these usually have a serving of a toddler, and he was right, but they had ordered too much.

On the top of the trolley had a large piece of steak with potatoes and spinach on the side, a lobster wellington with green salad that had sliced avocadoes, a white truffle pizza, 14 pieces of sushis and sashimis, fries, chocolate brownies, and a melted coffee ice cream. The two wines Chuuya ordered were inside a wine chiller bucket.

“Chuuya is such a pig. Imagine ordering all this.” Dazai scrunched up his face, looking at Chuuya with mock distaste. Even though half the food was obviously Dazai’s order.

“Fuck you. As if you didn’t order half of this. Get out, and don’t eat then.” Chuuya snapped, pulling the trolley from Dazai. Chuuya grabbed his utensils and started eating his Lobster Wellington with salad, and his sushi and sashimi.

“Just kidding, Chuuya, don’t be snappy.” Dazai teased, as he sat down on the couch beside Chuuya and ate a slice of his truffle pizza.

Just like always, they ate in silence. They never really talked about anything when they were eating because there’s really nothing pleasant to talk about in their lives. They just seat in silence, the same way they always do when they have breakfast or dinner together at their house in Yokohama. They just look at each other, and sometimes Dazai throws in a few comments about Chuuya’s cooking and Chuuya would scream but that’s about it.

Even though they have spent half of their time screaming and punching each other, the other half was spent in silence. The only time they actually have a conversation without them screaming at each other is when they’re in a Port Mafia meeting, or when they’re planning their strategies for a mission.

The thing is Chuuya doesn’t know anything about Dazai the same way Dazai doesn’t know anything about Chuuya. They know what lies in the surface but they never risked knowing what’s deep down. They never asked, and they never said anything. It was like they both understood not to overstep any boundaries.

Or maybe they were just scared of knowing each other more deeply than they already do.

The silence between them has always been comfortable. They did not need any words because their actions had already spoke volumes. Chuuya might not know anything about Dazai, but he understood him, the same way Dazai understood everything about Chuuya. Through the years, they have learned everything and nothing about each other just by being together.

They both understood without needing words.

Everything Dazai does might be a mystery to Chuuya, but Chuuya understood him more than anyone in this world.

Chuuya grabbed one of the wine he had ordered, it was a Corton-Charlemagne Grand Cru Domaine Henri Boillot, and it was a white wine dated in 2008. He pulled the cork out, and started pouring it on the wine glass. He drank his wine in one drink. He was already feeling drunk since finishing the champagne earlier, so he didn’t mind getting more buzzed.

“Don’t we have anything other than wine or champagne?” Dazai sighed, looking unhappy at the limited choice of drinks.

“No, but you know you can order something else for yourself.” Chuuya slightly slurred. He was drinking the wine in a rather fast pace tonight. He didn’t know why but ever since their talk outside of the elevator, Chuuya has been feeling jittery.

Dazai stared at him and sighed. He got one wine glass, opened the other champagne they had and poured himself a drink. They were already done eating. There were some leftovers left, but they would probably slowly eat it while drinking, or use the leftovers as a midnight snack if they got hungry. It was still early after all.

Chuuya continued drinking his wine, and he was drunk already. Honestly speaking, Chuuya had been drunk since they were in the bathtub. He was still a lightweight, afterall. As they continue to bask in the silence, Dazai was just on his phone scrolling through his social media. They were both seated on the ends of the couch.

Chuuya looked at the bottle, it was already almost done. He had lost count at how much alcohol he was drinking. He placed down his wine glass, his head was spinning already. He looked at Dazai, who was still on his phone. He moved towards on Dazai’s end, and he rested his head on Dazai’s lap. He felt Dazai stiffen for a second then relaxed. Chuuya was looking straight at Dazai.

“Is the little chibi drunk already? You still have a bottle of wine left.” Dazai said, pointing towards the other wine that was still in the wine bucket. Chuuya felt Dazai’s fingers brushing through his hair.

“Oooh, fuck ooooff. It’s for tomorrow mooorning.” Chuuya slurred. Dazai let out a cough but it sounded more like a laugh.

“Your hair’s getting longer, its almost reaching your shoulder.” Dazai commented. Chuuya could feel Dazai twirling his hair on his fingers.

“I’d probaaably let it groow. I wanna try that. Do you think I would look preeeeettyy, Dazaaai?” Chuuya said, slurring almost all his words. The wine was hitting him hard now. He could feel the heat growing on his body.

Dazai cracked a little smile, “You’re already pretty, Chuuya. Have I ever told you that?”

“Of couuurse not. The Dazai I know wouldn’t even admit I’m pretty. Oh my god!” Chuuya sat from Dazai’s lap, and stared at Dazai suspiciously, squinting his eyes.

 “Are you Dazai? Fuck, am I really that drunk that I’m hallucinating Dazai calling me pretty? What the fuck.”

Then what happened next shocked Chuuya, Dazai laughed. A genuine one, and not that fake one he keeps on doing. Dazai was genuinely laughing. Chuuya looked at the laughing Dazai in wide eyes.

“Who the fuck are you and what have you done with Dazai?” Chuuya slurred, he grabbed Dazai’s robe and shook him. Dazai continued on laughing, it was a hearty laugh, and it was the first time Chuuya had heard Dazai laughed so loud and so full of joy.

“Is this some kind of skin manipulation ability? Does that even exist?” Chuuya said, still grabbing Dazai’s robe. He was still squinting at Dazai, who was still laughing.

Chuuya was truly shocked, he doesn’t know if this is real or a hallucination because of the amount of alcohol he’d drunk but this is not Dazai. Dazai will never call him pretty. Dazai will never laugh like this. Dazai will never show Chuuya that he was happy. No, this is the Dazai in his dreams. This is not Dazai in real life.

Or maybe, this really was Dazai. Maybe Dazai does think Chuuya is pretty the same way Chuuya thinks Dazai is the most beautiful person he has ever seen. Maybe Dazai does laugh and maybe Chuuya was the first person who heard it. Maybe Dazai can actually feel happiness when Chuuya is around.

Or maybe, Chuuya was just drunk.

“Give me back Dazai!!” Chuuya shouted drunkenly and shook Dazai again. Dazai stopped laughing, and he was looking at Chuuya in wide eyes now.

See? It was just a hallucination, Chuuya thought.

But it wasn’t a hallucination. The reason Dazai stopped laughing was because there were tears falling from Chuuya’s face.

“Chuuya, why are you crying?” Dazai asked, his hands were already on Chuuya’s face wiping his tears.

“Give me back Dazai.” Chuuya cried out. Tears wouldn’t stop falling from his eyes.

“I’m right here, Chuuya.” Dazai whispered, as he slowly wrapped his arms around Chuuya and pulled him to him. Chuuya rested his head on Dazai’s shoulder, staining the white silk robe with his tears.

“No.” Chuuya cried, shaking his head, “The Dazai I know won’t ever call me pretty. The Dazai I know is hurting so much, I don’t even know if he can even laugh. The Dazai I know won’t ever let me see him be happy. And I won’t ever be enough for the Dazai I know to make him feel happy. But that’s okay, because he’s still my Dazai.” Chuuya sobbed, tears flowing never endingly from his eyes.

Chuuya looked up, faced Dazai, whose face was in an unreadable expression. Chuuya was too drunk to understand, he didn’t know if Dazai was in pain or if he was angry but he was just staring directly into Chuuya’s tear-stained eyes, an emotion Chuuya have dreamt of seeing in Dazai’s hazel brown eyes but not like this.

It was all too much. Chuuya doesn’t know why his emotions are acting up right now. Was this because of their conversation earlier? Was this because the sex changed? Was this because their relationship changed? Was this because Dazai had become softer towards him? Was this because Dazai had showed him his scars?

Why was Chuuya doing this? Why was he acting like this?

“Seeee, the Dazai I know doesn’t show emotions like this.” Chuuya cried, “So please, please go back to being the impassive Dazai. Go back to being the Dazai who doesn’t look at me like he wanted me. Go back to being the Dazai, the demon prodigy, the youngest Executive of Port Mafia.”

Chuuya wanted Dazai to go back to the way he was when they first met. Before their promise, before their first kiss, before they had sex, before they first slept together in each other’s arm without even having sex the night before, before Dazai showed Chuuya everything underneath his bandages, before Chuuya finally realized what he really felt for Dazai.

“Why?” Dazai asked softly, but his tone was rough.

Because I don’t want to see you look at me the way I’ve always wanted you to look at me

Because I don’t want to get my hopes up anymore

Because I don’t think my heart can take this anymore

Because it hurts so much

Because I think I love you

And I know you will never love me back

Because I know I will never be enough for you

“Because everything was so much easier back then.”

Chapter Text

It has been one month since they went back from London. Chuuya doesn’t remember how he passed out, but despite that night being the drunkest he’s probably been. He could still remember everything he said to Dazai. He remembered how he cried and begged Dazai to bring back his old self to Chuuya. He remembered the realization he had that night, and he had not been thinking about that realization anymore. He had pushed it to the deepest part of his mind.

After that night, Chuuya woke up alone in his bed the next day. And ever since that day, Dazai barely talked to him. Dazai would only talk to Chuuya during Port Mafia Executive meetings or during their trainings. Despite what happened that night, they still continued training but instead of daily trainings, the Corruption training was only for 3 times a week, during Mondays, Wednesday, and Fridays.

Ever since that night, everything changed. Their relationship changed. Dazai changed. It was like what Chuuya begged Dazai that night. They were back to square one. They don’t eat together anymore. They don’t go to work together anymore. They don’t go home together anymore. They don’t shower together anymore. They haven’t been doing anything together anymore.

There were no more stolen kisses, no more lingering gazes, no more lingering touches. There were no more sex, no more staying up all night at each other’s arms just staring at each other.

Chuuya barely sees Dazai home, it was exactly like the first week when they moved together. Living with Dazai was like living with a ghost but now it wasn’t only for a week. It has been going on for a month now, and probably would last until they die.

Everything happened so fast and sudden, the routine they usually had for one year and nine months just evaporated because of that night in London and Chuuya was barely getting by. He had gotten so used to their routine, he had gotten so used to Dazai that suddenly just losing both of those had been (honestly) so hard for Chuuya.

It was what Chuuya wanted but he didn’t know that it would be this hard.

Chuuya knows it was his fault. It was his fault for getting drunk that night. It was his fault for letting his emotions get to him. It was his fault for crying and pleading Dazai to go back to the way he was before just because he saw Dazai genuinely laughed for the first time that it actually scared the living hell out of him.

Chuuya had always knew Dazai had emotions despite being so impassive and cold, but his emotions had cracked out during times they were together alone. But actually seeing Dazai letting loose his emotions made Chuuya realized something he wished he didn’t realized that night. He always had a hunch, but he had always pushed that thought in the back of his head.

The reason why seeing Dazai let loose his emotions scared Chuuya was not because of his realization that night but it was the thought that Dazai is actually capable of having emotions and feelings. It scared Chuuya because he didn’t want to see Dazai’s genuine emotions only to find out that those reactions and those emotions weren’t actually for Chuuya.

It was already hard enough seeing Dazai looked at Chuuya like that. Like he wanted him, like he wanted to be with him when in reality, that’s not it, Dazai doesn’t actually want to be with Chuuya because Chuuya knows Dazai more than anyone in this world and whatever they have or rather, had, is not what Dazai truly wanted or needed in his life, and that’s the truth.

Chuuya knew that he himself is not enough to fill whatever void of emptiness Dazai has.

And Chuuya just didn’t want to get his hopes up anymore. He knew that he had always been attracted to Dazai because if he didn’t knew that then Chuuya would have never accepted everything that has happened to them these past few years. But to realize that he actually loved Dazai, that’s one thing he couldn’t accept. It had already been a losing game since the start, and Chuuya could not risk anything and anymore for that losing game.

He could not risk anything for Dazai, the same way Dazai does not risk anything for Chuuya.

The first person who noticed the change in Chuuya and Dazai’s relationship was none other than Kouyou. They were having their weekly dinner together. Right now, they were just at Chuuya and Dazai’s penthouse because Chuuya offered to cook for Kouyou. Dazai, as usual, wasn’t at home. He was probably drinking with Oda and Ango which had been happening more oftenly ever since they came back from London.

Chuuya cooked Pappardelle Pasta with Creamy Truffle Oil and Shrimp for dinner, which Kouyou had praised for being good. They were still seated at the dining table, their plates already discarded at the sink. They were both drinking wine, talking about what happened during their week, and Port Mafia business, when Kouyou dropped the question.

“What happened in London, Chuuya?” Kouyou asked. Chuuya got caught off guard with the question that he slightly choked in his drink, which made Kouyou raised her brows.

“Nothing happened, Ane-san.” Chuuya answered. I mean, what would he say? That he realized he loved Dazai? That he begged Dazai to go back the way he was?

“Bullshit, Chuuya.” Kouyou snapped, which surprised Chuuya. He looked at her in wide eyes. She was frowning at him, holding her drink in her hands. Chuuya drank the wine he was holding in one go.

“Nothing really happened, Ane-san. We just went back to the way it was before.” Chuuya said. Kouyou continued to observe him, as Chuuya played with his empty wine glass.

“And is this exactly like what you were before?” Kouyou wondered, as she sipped her wine.

No, Chuuya thought, this is far from what we were before.

“Yeah, Ane-san.” Chuuya sighed. He grabbed the bottle of wine and slowly poured wine on his glass.

“Do you love him?” Kouyou softly asked.

Chuuya froze, the wine in his glass overflowing and wine was spilling on the table. Chuuya shakingly put down the bottle of wine, and abruptly stood up from his seat. He grabbed a towel from the sink, and started cleaning the extra wine that spilled from his glass. His hand was slightly shaking, his eyes stinging, and tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

He had been avoiding this realization for a month now. He knew but he didn’t want to say it out loud. He knew but he didn’t want anyone to question him about it. He knew but he still can’t accept it. And to hear Kouyou, the person he most respected and adored, dropped it to his face, had made Chuuya vulnerable.

He knew Kouyou was sharp, and observant. Maybe Kouyou even knew it before Chuuya realized it. Maybe Kouyou even knew before that Chuuya had always been attracted to Dazai. Maybe Kouyou had known it would come to this, that’s why she warned him beforehand.

Chuuya stayed quiet, afraid that if he answered that question, he wouldn’t forgive himself for admitting it out loud.

He felt a hand on grabbed his shaking hands, he sucked in the tears that was threatening to fall, and looked up at Kouyou. She was looking at him sadly now, giving a small side smile. She knows. Chuuya didn’t need to answer because she already knows.

“I didn’t want to tell you this right now, but I told you, Chuuya. I told you to choose anyone but Dazai.” Kouyou consoled softly, she was caressing her thumb on top of Chuuya’s hand.

“I know.” As tears fell from Chuuya’s eyes.

The day Chuuya mastered his control over Corruption was one year and eleven months after the Dragon’s Head Conflict. Two months after that night in London.

Even though he and Dazai had barely been talking to each other, he has still been helping Chuuya control his Corruption. What used to be a caressing and lingering touch whenever Dazai stopped Corruption from consuming Chuuya turned to a touch that doesn’t even last for a second. Despite that, Chuuya was still grateful that Dazai was still helping him control Corruption.

It was on a Friday, their last training for the month because Chuuya was going on a one month mission with Kouyou in China and then London again the next week. Chuuya wasn’t supposed to come with, but it was Kouyou who insisted him to come with her, so he couldn’t decline her.

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.” Chuuya said, as could feel Corruption slowly consume his body. Red and black lines appeared on his body. He let it consume him for five seconds, before he called out Dazai’s name.

“Again.” Dazai coldly said. He was an arm’s length away from Chuuya, so he could just reach out his hand and activate his ability.

Usually their training consists of having five attempts in saying the chant. These past few months, Chuuya could go up to four attempts in controlling Corruption by saying the chant but one attempt would be him losing control without him saying the chant or him saying the chant but Corruption wouldn’t come out but this day was different.

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.” The second attempt was successful.

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.” The third attempt was successful.

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.” The fourth attempt was successful.

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.” The fifth attempt was successful. Chuuya looked at Dazai in wide eyes, who was looking at him with an impassive face but his eyes clearly surprised.

“Do it again.” Dazai ordered, and Chuuya nodded, barely containing his excitement.

“Grantors of the Dark Disgrace, you need not wake me up again.” Chuuya said, and Corruption consumed him again. The sixth attempt was successful. He felt Dazai’s hand on his shoulder, nullifying his ability. The hand lingered for more than one second.

 “Fucking finally!” Chuuya shouted happily, and looked back at Dazai who was staring at him in wide eyes. This was really happening, Chuuya had finally mastered Corruption.

Chuuya was so consumed with happiness and excitement, he wasn’t thinking about what he did next. He ran towards Dazai and jumped on the tall man, hugging him. Dazai froze but still catched him, nonetheless.

“Fuck, Dazai, I finally did it!” Chuuya shouted again, and hugged Dazai tighter. He felt Dazai wrapped his arms around him, caressing his back.

“Yes, you did. I’m proud of you.” Dazai whispered softly in Chuuya’s ear, which made Chuuya shiver slightly. Chuuya realized what je just did and what positioned they were in, and quickly pushed Dazai away from him. He looked at Dazai in wide eyes, Dazai just stared at him.

“I got too excited. Sorry.” Chuuya muttered, he turned away from Dazai, not wanting to look at the disappointment that momentarily appeared in Dazai’s eyes. Dazai just stayed quiet.

Chuuya could feel his heart beating rapidly on his chest. He hadn’t touched Dazai like that for two months already, and feeling Dazai’s warmth made Chuuya miss it more. He started picking up his things and changed his torn clothes in front of Dazai, not really caring. They’ve always done this. Dazai was still there, staring at Chuuya when Chuuya was done, and ready to leave.

“Shall we go out and celebrate?” Dazai called out, and Chuuya looked at him. Dazai was giving him a small smile, “I think this success deserves a celebration.”

Chuuya wanted to say no, he needed to say no. He doesn’t think he can be with Dazai alone. It had been two months since they last ate together, it had been two months since they went out together, it had been two months since they were together alone. But Chuuya also missed Dazai, more than he could imagine.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Chuuya nodded.

Chuuya drove them to a restaurant called Sirius. It was an expensive fine dining restaurant on top of the Yokohama Royal Park Hotel that had a view of the Cosmo Clock 21, Yokohama Bay Bridge, and the Yokohama coastline. It was also Mori and Kouyou’s favorite European restaurant in the city. Dazai told him they should celebrate there because Chuuya’s achievement was big enough for something expensive and fancy.

Dazai wanted a private room, but Chuuya told him that he just wanted a table near the window so he could enjoy the view of the city he loved. Chuuya just didn’t want to be alone in a room with Dazai. The only times they were alone in one room was in training or if they see each other at home which was barely since Dazai doesn’t go home anymore.

Chuuya ordered a bottle of Opus One, it was the restaurant’s most expesnive red wine. This restaurant usually serves buffet but they also served full course meals which Chuuya and Dazai ordered. As they waited for their meals, their bottle of wine had arrived. Chuuya opened it and poured one on his glass. He was about to sip it when Dazai also poured himself a drink.

“Of course, since this is an important celebration, I would have to drink wine.” Dazai said, imitating a gag, which made Chuuya roll his eyes.

“Congratulations, Chuuya.” Dazai smiled, as he raised his wine glass to Chuuya as if making a toast. “Here’s to the best duo of Yokohama, Soukoku.”

“Soukoku.” Chuuya softly said, he can’t help but smile as he bump his wine glass to Dazai’s glass, making a soft “chink” sound. They smiled at each other as they both drank the wine together.

Maybe, everything would be okay now.

Later that night, Chuuya didn’t know what happened or how their celebration dinner ended up like this, but he was taking this chance, because it had been too long. Chuuya and Dazai were now kissing each other, touching each other like their lives depended on it. They were in Dazai’s bed, naked.

This was different than other nights, this wasn’t as soft as the recent months but it wasn’t as rough and hard as the first few months they’ve done this. This night had a sense of urgency, of importance, it was like they were pleading at each other. Dazai was on top of Chuuya, kissing him like he missed this, like he wanted this as much as Chuuya.

Chuuya knows that they should stop, his mind is literally screaming at him to stop this and push Dazai away from him, but all he was doing was pulling Dazai closer to him. It has been too long since they last did this, it has been way too long since Chuuya felt Dazai’s warmth this close, this intimate.

“Dazai, fuck me.” Chuuya breathed, as he broke away from the kiss. Dazai looked at him with wide eyes, obviously surprised with what Chuuya just said.

“What?”

“I want you to fuck me.” Chuuya whispered, as he pulled Dazai in for another kiss.

That night, the first time Dazai was the one inside Chuuya, instead of Chuuya being the one inside Dazai, Chuuya realized that he truly love this guy in front of him. And as much as Chuuya hated Dazai’s empty eyes, he hated Dazai’s eyes more who looked at him like this, like Chuuya was the only one in the world.

“Shhhh, don’t cry.” Dazai breathed. Chuuya could feel tears fall from his eyes, as Dazai kissed them away.

“I love you, Dazai.” Chuuya whispered so low, he barely heard it, but he knew Dazai had heard him. This was the first time Chuuya admitted it out loud, to himself, and to Dazai.

“I know, Chuuya.” Dazai whispered, as he kissed Chuuya, pushing in and out of him.

Chuuya cried so hard the whole night, not because it had been years since someone had fucked Chuuya but it was because Dazai didn’t say it back.

Two years after the Dragon’s Head Conflict and two weeks after Chuuya had mastered his ability to control Corruption, Mimic infiltrated Yokohama. Chuuya and Kouyou was at China, the time Mimic had been stealing from Port Mafia’s warehouses. They had been receiving updates about what were happening in Yokohama, courtesy of Hirotsu.

Two weeks later, when Chuuya and Kouyou were at London attending banquets and meetings together with the Order of the Clock Tower, they had received a call at around 5:30pm from Hirotsu. It was probably around 2 in the morning at Japan which surprised Kouyou and Chuuya. They answered the call on the second ring.

“I have news, both good and bad.” Hirotsu’s voice clear on Kouyou’s speakers. They were both at the same hotel they stayed at 3 months ago.

“Say the good news first.” Kouyou ordered. They were both at Kouyou’s suite living room, drinking wine. Kouyou was seated in an armchair while Chuuya was seating on the couch, his legs on the table.

“Ozaki-dono, I think you should hear the bad news first.” Hirotsu suggested which made Kouyou quirked his eyebrows.

“Hmmm? What is it?” Kouyou asked, as she sipped her wine. Chuuya grabbed the bottle of wine, and poured himself another drink.

“There is a possibility….. that Dazai might leave Port Mafia. It hasn’t been confirmed but the possibility of him leaving is around 90%.” Hirotsu said, like he wasn’t sure if he should say it. As soon as Hirotsu said it, the only thing that could be heard was a wine glass and a bottle breaking. The room was silent, even Hirotsu was silent.

“Chuuya!” Kouyou screamed.

Kouyou looked at Chuuya in horror, glass and blood were everywhere. Chuuya’s hands were bleeding from him breaking the glass and bottle that he was holding a minute ago. Chuuya looked at his hands, and at the blood, his brain and body had become numb due to the pain. It reminded him again of the time he found Dazai at his room 2 years ago.

Chuuya could feel his head spin, he could feel his stomach churn, he wanted to vomit, he wanted to scream, he wanted to ask Hirotsu why there was a possibility that Dazai was leaving the Port Mafia when there was no one in this world who bled mafia blood as much as Dazai. Chuuya was starting to lose consciousness.

“Hirotsu-san, get us the next flight to Japan, NOW!” Kouyou screamed at the phone.

Chuuya closed his eyes, his was head spinning from the pain he was feeling, not in his hands but in his heart.

Chuuya could hear someone screaming at his side, it was Kouyou. She was talking to someone on the phone. Chuuya’s head was still spinning, and he could feel so much pain in his hands, but it felt like it was already bandaged. They seem to be in a car. He was too tired to open his eyes, so he just listened.

“I can’t believe you would sacrifice Dazai over an Ability Business Permit! I know getting a permit was a Port Mafia priority, but it resulted to losing Dazai!”

A pause.

“Is this why you wanted me to bring Chuuya? Because you knew this would happen?”

A pause.

“I let you be because you promised me you wouldn’t involve Chuuya in your little game with Dazai, but you were wrong this time, Mori-san!” Kouyou shouted.

A pause.

“You know how valuable Dazai is to the Port Mafia.”

That was the last thing Chuuya heard before he dozed off again.

The next time Chuuya woke up, they were already in a plane flying back to Japan. Kouyou had filled him in on everything that has happened in Yokohama, and all Chuuya could do was just listen.

Chuuya found out that the leader of Mimic, and the other Mimic members were all dead, and because of that Port Mafia was given the Ability Business Permit which makes them a licensed and a legal organization in Yokohama City. But the result of gaining the Ability Business Permit had lost Osamu Dazai.

Chuuya also found out that Oda Sakunosuke had died. Oda was the one who killed the Mimic leader, but the Mimic leader had also killed Oda. Chuuya knows who Oda is, of course, he was the person who was always together with Dazai when he’s out drinking. Oda was the person who Dazai had talked about with so much respect. Oda was Dazai’s friend, his only friend, which was what Dazai told Chuuya.

So what was I? Chuuya thought that time.

Kouyou explained that everything that had happened was all Mori’s plan to be able acquire the business permit. The Mimic was a group that used to be located in London, but Mori had asked the Order of the Clock Tower to drive them away from London and into Yokohama City. Mori and Kouyou had known about Ango being a double agent from the start, and they had used and let him be a triple agent by letting him enter Mimic.

When Mori found out that Oda and the Mimic leader had identical abilities, he asked Oda to locate Ango’s whereabouts, and everything that Mori plan led to Oda and the Mimic leader fighting to their deaths. Everything that had happen was all according to Mori’s master plan to get the business permit.

But one thing Mori had never anticipated was Dazai. Mori known had from the beginning that Dazai and Oda were close but he never expected Dazai to choose Oda over Port Mafia. That Dazai would choose Oda over Chuuya. But Mori had thought about it, he had thought that there was gonna be a small possibility that Dazai would leave Port Mafia.

And this is where Kouyou had admitted that the reason why Mori ordered her to bring along Chuuya to her mission, was because Mori was certain that if Dazai would have chosen to leave Port Mafia, and Chuuya was at Yokohama instead of being with Kouyou, Chuuya would have followed Dazai.

But everything with Chuuya and Dazai was a gamble for Mori because he was so certain that Kouyou bringing Chuuya would be the right choice, and it was. But Mori was also certain that despite sacrificing Oda as a pawn, Dazai would still stay because Chuuya was still in Port Mafia, and that was where Mori had gotten it all wrong.

The thought of Dazai leaving and betraying Port Mafia angered Chuuya, but what pained Chuuya was the fact that he wasn’t surprised that Dazai had not chosen him.

It pained Chuuya that he wasn’t enough of a reason for Dazai to stay in Port Mafia.

And he wasn’t surprised because Chuuya knew that already, he had always known that he wasn’t enough for Dazai.

Nothing was ever enough for Dazai to fill that emptiness inside of him, not Port Mafia, and not even Chuuya.

Kouyou and Chuuya arrived at Yokohama at around 4 in the afternoon. Hirotsu was the one who picked them up at the airport. He had updated them about what happened while they were in the plane. Dazai has now been uncontactable for 24 hours, most of the Port Mafia squads has been looking at every street, every alley, and every corner of the city for Dazai.

They were bought in at the headquarters, Chuuya and Kouyou were now inside Mori’s office. He was seated infront of his window, looking at the city. He was drinking his wine, a black envelope was on top of the table, it was the Ability Business Permit.

“Are you satisfied with this, Mori-san?” Kouyou asked in a sharp tone.

“We gained something that would help the future of Port Mafia, and yet lose someone as valuable as Dazai. An eye for an eye. We gain something valuable, we lose something valuable.” Was all Mori said. He sipped his wine, and sighed. Kouyou shook her head, she was already tired from the long flight, so she walked out of the office.

“Is your hands okay, Chuuya-kun?” Mori asked, looking pointedly at Chuuya’s hands which were now bandaged. It was one of Agatha’s men who stitched both of his hands.

“Yes, Mori-san.” Chuuya answered.

“Are you not going to say anything? Or ask why I did this?” Mori asked curiously, and Chuuya shook his head no.

Chuuya didn’t need to ask anymore, he already got it. There was no need to say or ask anything, because everything had happened already. Oda had died. Port Mafia are now a licensed ability organization. Dazai had left Port Mafia. Chuuya is now all alone. There was nothing to do anymore. This is the result of Mori’s plans, asking won’t change it.

All for the organization, and for the protection of this beloved city, is what Mori had said to Chuuya the day Chuuya joined Port Mafia. Everything that had happened here, Oda dying, Dazai leaving, Port Mafia being legalized was all for the organization and the protection of Yokohama.

“Are you still loyal to Port Mafia, Chuuya-kun?” Mori asked, his eyebrows quirked, red eyes staring straight at him, authoriative and serious. He wasn’t asking as Mori-san, he was asking as the boss of Port Mafia.

“Yes, boss.” Chuuya managed to say, as he kneeled in front of Mori, “I still dedicate my blood and all that I am to you, Boss. I will still protect this organization that you work to support and I will work for you to decimate its enemies.”

It was exactly what Chuuya had said to Mori, in this very room, 3 years ago, and he was saying it again to let Mori know that despite Dazai leaving, he was still loyal to Mori and to the Port Mafia. The person and organization who gave him a home and a position in this wretched world.

When Chuuya left Mori’s office, his body couldn’t stop shaking, he was on the verge of a breakdown but he walked out of the Port Mafia headquarters with his head held high. He walked towards the parking area to get his car which he left a month ago at the headquarters when he went to China with Kouyou.

When Chuuya pulled open his door, he heard a faint ringing sound, his eyes widened, and the next thing he knows, he was on standing on the ceiling, watching his car blow up to pieces.

“That fucking bastard.” Chuuya muttered in his breath.

 It was a waste to his car blow up into pieces, but it also calmed him down. He wasn’t as shaken when he left the headquarters, and it was like the verge to cry had just vanished. He ordered the lower members of Port Mafia who he saw walking pass by to clean up the mess. He called a taxi and went home.

When he finally got home, the first thing he did was look for something that Dazai might have left for him, but he (sadly) found none. He looked at Dazai’s room only to see that his clothes were still there. His essentials and toiletries, everything were still there, as if Dazai hadn’t left.

Chuuya went to the living room, and opened his cabinet wherein he collected all kinds of expensive wine, he looked at each one and finally found the one, he decided to drink, and it was the 1889 Petrus. It was one of his most expensive wine in his collection but he didn’t care anymore. He just wanted to drink something good and expensive.

He didn’t bother getting a glass anymore, as he removed the cork, and started drinking straight from the bottle. His eyes stings. His throat stings. His hand stings. His heart stings. Everything was hurting him. He walked towards his window, looking at the Yokohama skyline. It was already night time. The moon was shining bright, the city lights were shining bright.

As Chuuya savored the amazing view of this house, this penthouse didn’t feel like home anymore. He continued to chug the wine.

“What an amazing wine, only for it to be drank on this horrible day.” Chuuya slurred, wiping his tears away.

He could feel the the tears on his face, he has been crying since he opened the door of this empty penthouse, only to find out that no one is here. Only to find out that nothing here in this house was valuable enough for Dazai to bring with him.

That Chuuya wasn’t valuable to Dazai.

Chuuya loves Port Mafia, and Yokohama City more than anything in this world, and he will forever be loyal to them.

But Chuuya also loves Dazai more than anyone in this world.

That night, Chuuya cried out everything he felt for Dazai. All the anger, sadness, hate, and disappointment he felt for Dazai. All the adoration, respect, happiness, and love he felt for Dazai.

Over the three years they’ve known each other, Dazai had always left Chuuya. Dazai was always the one who would be gone in days, weeks, and even months but he would always show up after. Dazai had always made sure to come back no matter how long he was gone and Chuuya was always so certain that Dazai was coming back to him.

“You aren’t coming back anymore, aren’t you?”