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Hermione hated feeling like this, like she was bobbing for apples in the biggest barrel that she ever come across. It was almost as if she had fallen into said barrel and was now attempting to tread water just to stay afloat. She wanted this feeling to go away and she had hoped that in telling Fred and George about the baby that she would start to feel better, but until she knew what Ron's thoughts were, she almost felt as though she couldn't make any plans to move forward with her life as it stood. He had been purposefully avoiding her, and Hermione had decided to give him the space that he apparently so badly needed in order to clear his thoughts. She knew that it took two to tango, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel responsible for this entire situation.
She'd found herself spending more and more time at the twins' flat; she'd even spent the last three nights there. The first night had been awkward to say the least, but after they had figured out the sleeping arrangements - which had consisted of Hermione simply making Fred's bed slightly bigger and insisting that George join them - they had all managed to get along just fine. Hermione knew that this was only a temporary thing, but it was another thing that she couldn't plan for until she knew what Ron wanted. She did however know that no matter what she wanted to be with Fred and George, living with them.
She had managed to go back to work today, which had made her feel a little better about things with it being one of the only aspects of her life that she did have any sort of control over. She was determined to say on her chosen career path despite the fact that she was pregnant and while it was something that she needed to talk to Kingsley about as she knew that she would have to take some time off work when the baby was born, but until then she could continue to work her ass off.
That was probably why she was extra exhausted when she made it back to the Weasley twins' flat that evening. She all but collapsed onto the sofa after George let her in. He had been watching her ever since she walked in and she knew that he was worried about her, and that her not really saying a word to him was not helping that at all, but she was just too tired for conversation.
It took him a little while to sit down with her on the sofa, pulling her up onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her. She let her head lean against his chest and listened to the steady beating of his heart. It calmed her anxieties and she was grateful in a way that she knew that she would never be able to fully express. She let herself sit with him for a while, managing to somehow clear her mind completely of work and Ron and even of the baby for the time being. George had some sort of power over her that she didn't understand, but then that was maybe the point.
When Fred finally made his way up from the shop, Hermione had all but dozed off. She did however manage to blink her eyes open when she heard the door shut with a dull thud. She gave him a sleepy smile though she didn't move from where she was curled up against George.
"You okay?" Fred asked, exchanging a look with George over the top of her head and she knew that she needed to explain that she was just tired from work, from being pregnant, and from worrying about the future. She didn't know how to tell them that without worrying them even more though.
"Mhm." She hummed as she pulled back a little to look at Fred properly. "Just can't wait for bed, that's all." She told them. "It's been a long day…" She paused for a moment before she asked "I take it you haven't heard from Ron today?"
"Actually he stopped by this morning." Fred's words were slow, cautious, as if he expected Hermione to blow up or freak out or something, and part of Hermione felt like she probably would have done so had she not been exhausted. "He's going to drop by tonight."
Hermione chewed on her lip slightly, wondering if that was a good thing or a bad one. She wanted to probe Fred with more questions about Ron, but something about the look on her face told her that she shouldn't so instead she just gave a small nod. "I'm gonna go shower then." She said before she added "If that's okay?"
She watched Fred and George exchange a look, one that she didn't know what it meant at all, but Fred was nodding. "Of course, love." He said softly.
Hermione forced a smile before she headed off to their bathroom. Now that she was away from George, she could feel her mood starting to tank but she knew that she needed to shower and wash the day away before she could face Ron. She could help but be worried about what he was going to say when he got there, even though she had made it clear to both him and herself that she didn't need him to commit to being a father. She still couldn't shake the feeling that he should be a part of his own child's life.
She stripped off once she was inside the bathroom and then under the water once it was rubbing hot enough. She wanted to scream, though she couldn't exactly pinpoint why that was, except that everything had just gotten too much for her. She felt a lot better once she was back out from under the water and wrapped up in a towel, though she reckoned that was the first time that the act of showering itself hadn't been the thing to make her feel better.
She let herself stand in front of the mirror for a while, mainly checking herself from different angles and wondering for the first time since she had found out that she was pregnant whether there were any noticeable changes to her body. She didn't have a bump yet, but from what she understood, it was probably too early for that, but that didn't mean that she hasn't changed somehow. She certainly felt different anyway.
She wrapped her hair up in a towel before drying herself off and realising that she hadn't grabbed herself any pyjamas before coming through here. She took a breath as she realised that meant that she would need to somehow get through to Fred's bedroom to grab some without being noticed. Neither twin had seen her naked yet, though she supposed they probably should before she blew up like a balloon and they wondered what they had let themselves in for. Today, however, was not that day, she decided as she all but ran to get her pyjamas.
When Hermione ventured back through to the living room, Ron was there, sipping tea and looking very pink around the ears, another reminder to Hermione that this was far from the ideal situation to be in, let alone to raise a baby in, but as she sat down on the sofa across from Ron and gave him a tentative smile, she reminded herself that no matter what this baby would be loved.
"Hey." She greeted him as she pulled her legs up to cross then underneath her. "It's - uh - it's good to see you."
"Is it?" Ron asked, a frown flickering across his lips before it disappeared again. "I thought you might be avoiding me, actually…" He trailed off, his eyes fixing on hers in a way that seemed to compel Hermione to tell the truth, not that she had even considered being anything but honest with him, especially not about any of this.
"No, I've not been avoiding you." She promised. "I was just trying to give you some space while you thought all this over. I know it's not something that's easy to wrap your head around. I still can't believe it…" She swallowed thickly as she trailed off.
"Thanks for that then." He said quietly, managing to give her a smile, though it didn't stay on his face for long and Hermione could understand why. "And thanks for seeing me tonight.. All of you." He nodded to his brothers; Fred was in the kitchenette, seemingly preparing dinner, and George was sitting on the other end of the sofa from Hermione, though if she didn't know any better she would have said that he'd shrunken in on himself. "I… I've had some time to think and I - we, as in Neville and me - we want to be in the baby's life. I want to be a dad, and so does Nevile. And I know - or at least I can guess from the fact that you're here with them - that Fred and George want to be too?"
Hermione gave a short, somewhat relieved laugh. She reached out to take George's hand as she spoke. "Yes. We all want this baby and that… that's incredible." She gave George's hand a squeeze and let his touch calm her down all over again. "It's not going to be easy, figuring everything out, but as long as we're all talking to each other and open about it all then we can do this."
"And first thing's first is getting you out of the Burrow because otherwise there really will be too many cooks." Fred commented from the kitchen. "Mum means well, but she's going to be all over you like a rash."
"And we've already pointed out the Harry problem." George added, having now moved closer to Hermione and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"The Harry problem?" Ron asked slowly, an eyebrow raised as he unfolded his hands which had been twisted together far too tightly in his lap.
"They're convinced that Harry would steal the baby." Hermione rolled her eyes before she leaned her head on his shoulder. "But that's a problem I'll have to deal with. It's not as if I have anywhere else to go." She pointed out.
"Mione. Do you really think we're suggesting that you sleep on the streets?" Fred asked, not at all unfairly as he set down the knife that he had been using to chop up the vegetables. "We want you to move in here, at least for now. And we'll look into getting a bigger place further down the line, someplace where the baby will have its own room."
Ron let out a low hum before he spoke. "You'd just have to make sure that it's not too far away from Neville's."
Hermione's head was starting to hurt as she realised just how much thought the men, the fathers , had already put into this when she was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that in a few months she was going to have a tiny baby who was almost completely reliant on her.
"We could always get somewhere together?" George suggested after pressing a kiss to the side of Hermione's head, as if he could sense her impending migraine. She wanted to lie down with her head on his lap, but she decided to just make do for leaning into his touch instead.
"That would be a good idea." Ron nodded slightly. "I mean, I'd have to speak to Neville but I know that I don't want to be an absent father, and his house is far too quiet anyway."
"What do you think?" George asked Hermione as he gave her a small nudge. "Up for living with a bunch of men?"
"As long as I get my own space too." Hermione realised as she said it that she didn't even need time to think about it. She just seemed to know that moving in with Fred and George was exactly what she needed and living with all four of them was exactly where she needed to be.
"Whatever you want." George promised, though that part was whispered so quietly that it was only between the two of them - not that Hermione would have had it any other way.
"Ginny will miss you sharing her room." Ron chuckled lightly; they all knew that definitely wouldn't be the case. Hermione had moved in before her eighth year and while Ginny had never protested, they all knew that she would be glad to get her own space back. Being the only girl in the family had meant that she never really needed to share much before Hermione came along.
"And now you won't need to worry about silly things like asking to use the shower." Fred pointed out, flashing her a grin before he turned to the stove.
Hermione stuck her tongue out at him even though she knew that he couldn't see her. "And you're really okay with all this..?" She asked Ron as she turned back to him.
"With what?" Ron asked slowly. "With becoming a dad? Yeah, I wouldn't have come here if I wasn't." He paused before he continued. "If you mean do I wish that you weren't shacking up with my brothers? Well, I lost all say in that area when I cheated on you."
Hermione bit her lip but gave a short nod. Reading between the lines, she could see that he wasn't exactly happy about the arrangement, but she tried to ignore that. As he had rightly pointed out, they weren't together and he didn't get to tell her who she could be with.
"I'm gonna head back now though. Neville's probably moved all the plants into the house by now. He wants to see you, by the way. He misses you, just doesn't know if you want to see him." Ron was on his feet now.
"Yeah, I do. I miss him too." She said quietly. That part wasn't a lie. She had missed spending time with her best friend, something that she hadn't done much of in the last month. "I'll maybe pop round over the weekend if I'm feeling up to it?" She wasn't going to commit to anything when she still felt pretty run down, but then she supposed Neville could always come over here.
"Sounds good." Ron flashed her a smile before his expression became more serious. "And keep me posted, okay? Hospital appointments, moving plans, anything like that. I'm not kidding when I say I want to be a part of this."
"You got it." Hermione told him as she made to lie down on the sofa with her head on George's lap, her eyes closing as she listened to Ron letting himself out. Her anxieties had gone down quite a bit now. They were still there in the background but it no longer felt as though she were drowning, and that meant that she could properly let herself relax.
The barrel she was bobbing for apples in had just gotten a bit smaller and more shallow, and that could only be a good thing. She let a hand move to her stomach, even though there was no visible sign of the baby or a bump there. She reckoned that she would feel even better about this all when she was able to feel her baby. Their baby.