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“I’m not fucking interested in being shipped off to some loser’s farm,” Xiao Zhan heard hissed out angrily around the corner. He stopped walking abruptly, not wanting to interrupt the heated argument that appeared to be going on nearby.
“Yibo,” he heard Wang Han say patiently. “We’re not shipping you off. This is an opportunity we think would be very beneficial for you.”
Xiao Zhan peeked around the wall to see Wang Han put his hands on the shoulders of an attractive young man with a scowl on his face, arms crossed and clearly furious.
“Why can’t I stay here, gege?” Yibo asked petulantly, Xiao Zhan putting his hand over his mouth to stifle a laugh at how adorable the furious younger man looked as he tried not to pout.
“Didi, you know why,” Wang Han said softly, drawing the younger man in for a hug. Yibo stayed stiff at first but finally relaxed into the hold, putting his face into the other man’s shoulder as he let out a loud frustrated sigh.
Xiao Zhan felt awkward eavesdropping and didn’t know what he was interrupting so he quietly backed up around the corner to not disturb the touching scene playing out in front of him, letting out a yelp as he backed into something fleshy.
“Xiao Zhan!” Da Zhangwei said ebulliently. “There you are, we were just looking for you!” Da Zhangwei and Gao Tianhe stood there in chef’s whites, smiling at him.
“I like the jacket! You know, you can wear more colors now that you’re not having to dress all in whites,” Gao Tianhe joked, gesturing at the tan blazer Xiao Zhan had worn to the dinner.
Xiao Zhan laughed nervously as he felt suddenly surrounded. “Why does this feel like an intervention?” he joked, eyes widening when he saw the men exchange glances. “Wait, is this an intervention?” he asked confused, startled at the reaction.
“Let’s show you where your food will be prepared tonight, Xiao Zhan,” Da Zhangwei said with a wide smile, blatantly ignoring Xiao Zhan’s question. The men led Xiao Zhan to a large kitchen, his eyes lighting up at all the bustle as he saw ingredients being prepared for tonight’s dinner.
“Good choice for tonight’s dinner, by the way, very seasonal!” Gao Tianhe praised, Xiao Zhan flushing.
“Thanks, it was actually really fortuitous. There were so many geese around waking me up in the morning that I just couldn’t stop thinking about roasting them,” Xiao Zhan said with a laugh, the other men chuckling.
“I’m pretty sure that’s not what the song meant by ‘Six Geese A-Laying,’” Da Zhangwei snickered, pointing out the six large trays with geese prepared for roasting on them.
They all laughed at the corny reference. The older men subsided quickly though, again glancing at each other. “Is there something we needed to discuss?” Xiao Zhan asked, head tilted to the side in confusion.
“Well,” Gao Tianhe said hesitantly, “It’s more of a favor, really. Come with us?” he asked politely, gesturing that Xiao Zhan should follow the other men as they moved to a nearby office.
Xiao Zhan sat where indicated, feeling as if he was in a job interview as the other men didn’t sit but instead stood around in front of him, continuing to silently exchange glances and then looking down at him. The door opened and in walked Wang Han. Xiao Zhan started to stand to greet him but was quickly waved down by the older man who sat behind the desk, the other men lining up around him.
“What’s going on, Han-ge?” Xiao Zhan asked curiously.
“We’re so glad you came for tonight’s Guest Chef dinner, Xiao Laoshi,” Wang Han said respectfully, Xiao Zhan’s eyes widening at the more formal address.
“Of course,” Xiao Zhan said, shaking his head. “You all did so much for me when I was going through such a hard time, you know you only have to ask, and I’ll help however I can.”
Wang Han smiled widely, showing his teeth. “I’m so glad to hear you say that, Xiao Zhan. How’s the farm doing?”
Xiao Zhan’s smile froze as he started piecing things together from the earlier overheard conversation.
“It’s, uh, doing well,” he said cautiously, “A lot of work but I’m happy to do it. It feels more real than Suibian Table ever did, honestly,” he said with a small laugh, “And I’m really proud of what I’m accomplishing. I think you’ll enjoy the geese for your meal, and I brought a variety of vegetables from your list as well.”
Wang Han nodded enthusiastically. “Hard work, the feel of dirt under your nails, it really seems to have helped you find your place in this world. And I’m so glad that we were able to help you find what you needed.”
Xiao Zhan nodded hesitantly, “Yes, I, um, owe you all a debt.” He winced internally as he saw them all exchange pleased glances, nodding at each other.
“We actually need a favor, Xiao Zhan,” Wang Han said, tenting his fingers in front of him and looking directly at him.
Xiao Zhan sighed, “Does it have to do with that angry young man?”
One of the men let out a barked laugh, quieting quickly at a glare from Wang Han, who quickly dropped it for a friendlier look as he turned back to Xiao Zhan.
“So you’ve seen our Yibo already, then,” he said with a soft smile, Xiao Zhan nodding.
“I’m sorry, Wang Laoshi, I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, just heard someone talking about ‘some loser’s farm,’” Xiao Zhan said with a small laugh as he watched Wang Han wince. “I’m guessing I’m the loser?”
Wang Han fixed him with a stare and Xiao Zhan felt his cheeks heat up. “I know you’re joking, Xiao Laoshi, but you have accomplished so much to be proud of,” Wang Han said sincerely. “We are happy to have been able to help you in some small way when you had your… setback, but where you were and where you are is due to you- both your talents and your hard work.”
Xiao Zhan nodded speechlessly, unable to attempt arguing with the older man, his cheeks flushed at the words of praise.
“We have a young friend, Wang Yibo, and he is also a very talented young man. Like yourself, he’s had some setbacks recently, and we think getting away from here, to a place like yours, might be a helpful learning experience for him,” Wang Han continued.
“Why don’t you have him go through your program here at Fare Start?” Xiao Zhan asked curiously. “Your program is meant for people like him, I would think.”
Fare Start was a nonprofit started to help people who had trouble finding employment, people like former convicts, older people in need of new life skills, or people with only a high school degree. Fare Start was a culinary training program that employed a number of experienced chefs, headed by Wang Han, and they would run candidates through their 12-week program. It was a direct pipeline for employment at a number of local restaurants.
The program itself was sponsored by a good number of local businesses who pledged annually, and also funded by nights like tonight, Guest Chef Night. On Guest Chef Night, the food and head chef were provided by volunteers and there was a graduation ceremony for members of the culinary program mid-way through the night.
It was always a festive event, and Xiao Zhan was happy to have helped by providing the geese and most of the produce making up the dinner tonight, though he had declined being the Guest Chef, not interested in running a professional kitchen again, even in such an informal environment. If he really examined his feelings, he knew he might also be worried it would bring up bad memories, but Xiao Zhan chose not to do so, focusing instead on what he had contributed to the night.
Wang Han shook his head. “We tried. He started here actually, and we tried him in both the barista and culinary programs. But… the culinary arts are not where Wang Yibo’s talents are best applied,” he said with a strange smile, the other men suddenly coughing and trying to keep their faces in order. “He tries very hard but is best kept out of the kitchen, we think,” Wang Han said diplomatically.
“For all our sakes,” Da Zhangwei said under his breath, letting out an ‘Oof!’ as he was quickly elbowed by Gao Tianhe. Wang Han shot him a disapproving look before smiling again at Xiao Zhan.
“He is a very hard worker, but it takes Yibo time to warm up to people, as you might have gathered from the little you overheard,” Wang Han said with a kind smile. “But he’s a wonderful young man, and very quick to learn most things.”
Xiao Zhan rubbed his neck, feeling anxious. He couldn’t turn down these men. He owed them so much, and he had been so pleased when they’d reached out to him to participate in this evening. But having someone join him on his farm? Xiao Zhan wasn’t sure how he felt about that.
“Think about it, Xiao Laoshi,” Wang Han said pleasantly, tactfully not addressing Xiao Zhan’s obvious misgivings. “We’ll get you seated for the dinner and talk to you later tonight.”
Xiao Zhan nodded and left the room after respectfully bowing farewell. Da Zhangwei left him at the server station and provided some instructions to the hostess before he departed to return to the kitchen, smiling and waving goodbye to Xiao Zhan, who exhaled deeply as soon as the other man left, smiling sheepishly at the hostess.
“This way, please,” she said with a sunny smile, leading Xiao Zhan to a communal table. He sat down, looking over the prix fixe menu, noting which of the two options he wanted for each course. The hostess returned, leading (“Of course,” Xiao Zhan sighed to himself) the frowning younger man to sit across from him.
A few minutes passed, beverages were delivered, and Xiao Zhan choked on his tea when the silence was finally interrupted by the now-familiar deep voice.
“Do you know Han-ge?” asked Yibo inquisitively, still looking sullen. “He usually only seats friends and family over here, and I haven’t seen you before.”
Xiao Zhan gave him a polite smile, “Yes, I’ve known him and the other chefs for a few years now.”
He went back to his tea, not very surprised when he was interrupted again. “Who are you?” the younger man asked bluntly.
Xiao Zhan gave a more brittle smile, “I’m just some loser who farms, Wang Yibo,” watching the younger man’s eyes open wide with shock, cheeks turning red.
He took pity on the suddenly speechless younger man who was doing his best to imitate a fish with his gaping mouth movements. “It’s fine,” Xiao Zhan said with a forgiving smile, “I think we were both taken by surprise tonight. I’m Xiao Zhan, by the way.”
The server mercifully showed up then to take their selections, Xiao Zhan placing his first to give Yibo time to compose himself. After the server left, Yibo bit his lip as Xiao Zhan continued to sip his tea.
“So they told you about me,” Yibo said hesitantly, sounding both irritated and curious.
Xiao Zhan shrugged, “They said you were talented and have had some recent setbacks. They thought you might do better in a new environment.”
Yibo scoffed, “I’m fine.”
Xiao Zhan nodded, “I’m sure you are.” The appetizers arrived and they ate in silence.
“It’s just,” Yibo ventured, “There are these guys that have been giving me a hard time, and they worry about me too much.”
Xiao Zhan nodded, “Han-ge and all of the others are very caring people,” he agreed cautiously, watching Yibo’s eyes light up at the mention of his geges. “They helped me out a few years ago, actually. From a situation where some guys were giving me a hard time too actually,” he offered with a small laugh.
Yibo tilted his head, “You? Who would bother you on a farm?”
Xiao Zhan laughed, though it tasted bitter. “I started the farm a few years ago, with their help, actually. Before that, I was a chef here in Seattle. That’s how I know all of them.”
His mood turned pensive as Xiao Zhan remembered what it was like to be a darling of the Seattle culinary scene. Suibian Table, like so many Seattle restaurants, had taken pride in its farm-to-table approach, deliberately getting all local and fresh ingredients and building each daily menu around what was available. Xiao Zhan had been known for his creativity in the kitchen and his reputation quickly became established as a force in the culinary scene. The waitlist for a table was six months out at the peak of his popularity.
Yibo cleared his throat, bringing Xiao Zhan back to the present, and Xiao Zhan smiled at him awkwardly, taking another sip of his tea. “I owned a fairly popular restaurant,” he said modestly, “And I got pretty wrapped up in the glamour of it all, I guess. Lots of press, some local fame, it seemed like everything was perfect. My name was even being tossed around for the James Beard award,” Xiao Zhan paused, Yibo looking appropriately impressed.
“What happened?” he breathed.
Xiao Zhan sighed. “There was this, this one blogger. She was so nice at first, and she was so interested in everything at the restaurant. She would come in all the time, asking so many questions, and I didn’t see the harm in her enthusiasm. I guess I should have, but I never dealt with that level of popularity before and I didn’t see the harm in being nice to everyone. She seemed like she had a crush, maybe, but she didn’t act inappropriately towards me, so I didn’t see any real issue.”
He shook his head ruefully, “She started putting out all these letters with false accusations about other restaurants to the health department, spreading rumors on her blog that went viral about people who were friends of mine that she viewed as competition. It got kind of scary, actually.”
“At the beginning, everyone knew that it wasn’t my fault, but she had pictures of us together from when she’d first been interviewing me for her blog, and she kept saying how close we were, and over time, as she caused real damage to local businesses, people didn’t know who to believe. I tried putting word out that I barely knew her, that I would never try to sabotage anyone, but people started saying that I was sneaky and trying to take down my competition and then those people would attack anyone who tried to speak up for me.” He blew out a breath, looking down at the table. “I was pretty burnt out on everything by the end.”
Xiao Zhan jumped, surprised by a sudden, “But that’s not fair!” yelped out from the younger man. He shook off his dour mood and gave him a grateful grin, charmed to have someone so angry on his behalf, even though it was so many years ago.
“No, it’s not, Wang Yibo,” he said gently. “It wasn’t fair at all. But it turned out okay. Your geges helped me find another passion. I have something that’s completely my own. I’m a bit older and wiser now, and I’m happy with the person I’ve become.”
They both nodded thanks as the server brought their entrees. “This is mine, for example,” Xiao Zhan gestured at the roasted goose as Yibo’s eyes went wide. “Everyone here is eating something that I provided, and there’s something satisfying in that. I take a lot of pleasure in what I do, now.”
He tilted his head, examining the young man who was so quick to anger on Xiao Zhan’s behalf after insulting him without even knowing his name. “One of my favorite authors said something that really hit me as true during that time. ‘Reputation is what other people know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself… Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards,'” he finished with a wry smile, Yibo barking out a surprised laugh.
“He sounds pretty smart,” he said hesitantly.
Xiao Zhan smiled, “Yeah, I like her writing,” he responded, watching Yibo’s cheeks turn pink.
Yibo looked as if he wanted to say something but bit his lip, ducking his head down to start eating instead. Xiao Zhan smiled and did the same. He closed his eyes as he took a bite, savoring the flavors of the meat on his tongue. He opened his eyes to see Yibo staring at him with a strange expression on his face.
“Yibo,” the younger man said into the silence, Xiao Zhan cocking his head to the side at the non sequitur. “Call me Yibo, Xiao Zhan, and I’m sorry I called you a loser. It just,” he took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. “It just doesn’t seem fair that I have to go.”
Xiao Zhan shrugged. “You don’t. I’m doing just fine without any help. I’m sure you have other places you can be.” Yibo looked taken aback at the easy dismissal, brow furrowing as he gave a small pout.
Xiao Zhan laughed internally, “This kid is really used to being doted on,” he marveled.
“Then why…?” Yibo asked in confusion.
“Because I owe them,” Xiao Zhan said simply. “Because they were there for me when no one else was. I was scared and desperate and saw everything fading away, and they gave me something to hold onto. And they asked me to give you a place, so if you want one,” he gave a half-smile, “I have a spare room.”
Yibo looked at him for a minute, not saying anything, and Xiao Zhan waited.
“What’s it like on a farm?” the young man asked tentatively.
Xiao Zhan sighed to himself, inexplicably already fond of this mercurial young man who seemed to feel everything so passionately. “Well, this is going to be interesting at least.” He began describing what his home would be like to this handsome stranger who was going to be his roommate.
One year later: Don't Leave Me This Way