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Jaewon studies his new mirror, a vintage that his mom bought him for his birthday. It was only a few days before then when they moved into their new home. A two story, contrary to their old apartment in Daegu. They bought it from a store down the way that sold old donated items to all the curious passersby and new residents, such as themselves. “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” at it’s finest.
The mirror was a true antique, it seemed. Probably comes from old money too. Signs of age, repeated cleaning and the detailed carving of the name “Kang” at the top all give it away. That doesn’t make it any better quality, though, it still sold for 300,000 won.
Why’s he up right now, anyway? It’s already two in the morning, he should’ve been asleep hours ago. He turns on a lamp and begins examining his shirt as he walks up to the mirror. Looking up again into said mirror, he notices something.
There’s a haze. It’s almost as if there’s thick, grey smoke in the mirror. But there’s nothing in his room…?
‘Why does it look like that? It’s so blurry’.
He spends a second looking into the mirror and finds that the only thing he can see is...Not himself. There’s someone sitting at a desk.
A guy, it seemed, a guy with short black hair. Jaewon steps away from the mirror, convinced it’s a hallucination. He should really get some more rest. Stumbling over to his bed, he lets himself forget what just happened and drifts off into sleep.
***
'It's Friday. Lookism updates today,' Jaewon notes, sleepily scrolling through the WEBTOON app, 'I wonder what's going to happen next.'
He flips onto his stomach, struggling to remember what had happened the night before. Oh, right. He had seen something weird in the mirror. Would it still be there if he checked?
He gets up, yawning and stretching. He knows it was a dream, obviously, but it’s nice to relive things, even if you haven’t lived them at all. Walking up to the mirror once again, his gaze falls upon unfamiliar objects, and he falls back, startled.
What he sees is not his room. In fact, it’s laid out entirely different, it’s huge. There’s a guy there too, the same guy he saw last night, dark black hair and all. He’s sitting on his bed on his phone, seemingly not noticing Jaewon as he watches through the glass
'Oh my gosh...is this real?' He wonders, watching in stunned silence as the man gets up and begins moving towards the mirror. Jaewon simultaneously moves away, further amazed by how the figure disappears once he backed up enough. Is he hallucinating?
Jaewon gets up and makes a fearful tread towards the mirror, prepared. He must be crazy. He definitely must be, because he walks up to it once more, and again the man appears. He's scooted forward just in time to watch the guy come right up to the mirror, eyes closed as he stretches.
Jaewon examines him, slightly frightened, but intrigued. This is like a movie.
The man opens the eyes to look at Jaewon. Sure enough, shock begins to grow on his face. He drops his arms to his side, stunned.
“So you’re not a dream?!” He exclaims.
“Who are you?! What?”
“You’re...in my mirror," the taller male begins, still recovering from the initial shock of seeming someone in his mirror that wasn't him, "I had seen you a couple times before, but I thought it was just a dream...”
“Wait, you too? You’re in my mirror!”
The male on the other side of the glass takes a seat, spending a few minutes in silence. Jaewon can tell he’s thinking, but about what?! What could possibly be an explanation for this?
“So basically...You’re in my mirror. Is this like an invention? Or magic? But I don’t know who you are…”
Jaewon’s speechless. So he doesn’t know, and this man doesn’t know...Then what the heck is this?
“This sounds like one of those spirit movies...or magic, or science fiction.” He stutters, trying to stimulate at least some coherent thought.
“You’re right, but is that possible?” The guy on the floor mumbles to himself, perhaps trying to comprehend a plausible cause for this situation they find themselves in.
“I think so. Because if I move back, I can’t hear or see you anymore.”
The man nods and mutters, “Same for me, I—Oh my god, i think you live in a mirror universe.”
***
It was an unlikely encounter. Of course, neither could have predicted this...situation, but luckily they were able to deal with it in orderly fashion. As ‘orderly’ as they could get, at least. After a good half a day of testing the limits of this mirror, or what they might now consider a ‘portal’, they’d come to a few conclusions.
“So we have the same universe, just with minor differences?” Jaewon asks, rocking back and forth as he sits cross legged on his rug.
“Yeah. We both live in South Korea, we speak the same language, but you live in a different universe than I do. You said your president’s name is Moon Jaein? Ours is Kyung Jinhyun.”
“Ah, yes. So...does this mean we’re like roommates?”
“Yeah, basically.” The other male confirms, nodding.
“Oh...Well then what’s your name?”
“I’m Dongho. You?”
“Jaewon.” He smiles, happy that even in such a strange set of circumstances, he was able to establish an amicable relation with someone new.
However, this isn’t enough to save them from awkward silences. What else is there to say, when you find out that you can just talk to someone from a parallel universe through your mirror?
Suddenly, Dongho gets up. “I have to go right now, I’ve got to get to dinner. See you later, Jaewon.” He states, walking out of his room.
He watches Dongho walk out of the room, wondering. Always wondering.
***
Dongho taps on the glass of the mirror, a couple quick raps just to draw the attention of the black-haired male beyond the glass, rummaging through his dresser and pulling out clothes.
“Yah, I think that I can see more of your room, and from farther away. I think that ‘blind spot’ sort of thing is shrinking.”
The blind spot he’s referring to, of course, is the blur. When standing next to the mirror, it’s pretty easy to hear and see whatever goes on on the other side, but when you move away it’s all an unfocused mess and the glass goes back to its normal, usual use as a reflection.
“Oh really? Let me see.”
Jaewon moves back to test this, and finds that it’s true, he can move back a lot farther than usual.
“Yeah. What were you doing, by the way? I thought you just moved in?”
“Oh,” Jaewon smiles shyly, looking down at his clothes, “I was just getting ready to go out with a couple friends of mine.”
“Friends, huh?” Dongho leans back onto his bed.
As a kid, he had been the social type. Always out to make connections, as his parents had advised him. He had a really good friend once. Minsung, his name was. They had met back in Incheon, at a park. Minsung was the one that really introduced him to the world. He even had his own phone, one with unlimited internet access. Dongho chuckles lightly, barely audible. He had once even had a crush on Minsung, but they both ended up moving away and never saw each other again. How funny, the ways things like that turn out.
“You go have fun.” Dongho mumbles, not responding to Jaewon’s little “Thank you!” as he left the room.
‘Friends…’
***
Jaewon strolls into his room, flexing his arms and neck, trying to loosen up. He’s been pretty stressed lately, and it’s time he starts relaxing.
He looks into the mirror, curious to see what Dongho’s doing today. To his slight surprise, Dongho’s in his comfy chair, reading a book. Jaewon can’t manage to read what the cover says, so he clears his throat and asks, “Hey, whatcha reading, Dongho?”
Dongho’s eyes flicker from his page to Jaewon’s face, and back. “It’s Wuthering Heights. You have this book in your world?”
“Wuthering Heights? Yeah, I've read that. What part are you on?”
“The part where Lockwood’s listening to Mrs. Dean’s story.”
“Ah, I see. Do you like them? Classic romance novels, I mean.”
“Yes, very much. They’re kind of dramatic, but I like that aspect. It’s not as much the excitement, but just how descriptive it is really...I don’t know, it’s just like watching a movie but in your mind.”
Jaewon smiles to himself, sitting at his own desk and fidgeting with a rubber toy he had once won in primary school. It's nice to know they have things in common, it really helps start conversations, especially since Jaewon's not the best at doing so himself.
“Yeah, I understand that. I always thought it’d be cool to watch the movie version, but I never got to it.”
“There’s a movie version in your world?” Dongho looks up suddenly, his interest apparently piqued.
“A-Ah, yeah there is. I’ll show it to you sometime.”
“I’d like that,” He smiles, looking back down at his book and continuing to read. Jaewon moves away from the mirror, his heart beating a tad faster than it had been when he first walked in. He’s made a friend! At least, he thinks so.
‘Either way,’ He pulls out his homework laptop, ‘If we’re not already, I hope we can become friends soon!’
***
“Dongho!” Jaewon calls, bounding into his room as he often does on good days.
“Jaewon, what’s up?”
“My friends and I went to the aquarium! Look, I even got some videos.”
Jaewon pulls up a stool and sits on it, his back pressed up against the mirror as he waits for Dongho to stand before the glass, looking just over his shoulder. He presses play and lets the video roll.
‘Seals,’ Dongho notes, watching the figures in the video, ‘Seals or sea lions, probably.’
The animals glide along through the water, over the glass encased tunnel Jaewon had been recording in. They do turns and slide along, almost as if aware of their charm and purposely wooing the awed crowd. There were even a couple of quiet ‘woah’s from Jaewon in the video. Dongho smirks, picturing him standing there with his phone out, so entranced by the seal-or-sea-lions that he’s not even sure where he’s pointing the camera.
“So you like fish and stuff?” Dongho inquires, looking back at Jaewon.
“Yes! Especially sharks. They’re so cute, but no one really likes them.” He frowns.
What an endearing reason. Of course, it’s to be expected from a person like him. He’s a pure soul.
“Are you thinking of being a marine biologist or something?”
“No, I think I want to be a policeman. Either that, or a barista, if my mom manages to own a coffee shop one day like she wants to.”
Dongho nods in understanding, even though the other male couldn’t see him. Must be nice, being able to decide what you want to be in life. It’s an inconceivable concept to him, honestly. All his life, it’s been expectations this and results that. Both he and his little brother, Jun, had been strictly raised under this philosophy. There’s no room for dreams, and they accept that. At least, Dongho accepts that. Jun is a...He's the black sheep of the family, to say the least.
Perhaps if Dongho had never met Minsung, never got a taste for the freedom of creativity, he’d be just like the other kids he’s known. They drill it in you young, you know. And it’s understandable, that’s the worst part. If only it were like in the movies, where your parents are the bad guys because they hate you and think of you as a moneymaker first and a son second.
It was never that way. He’s been loved, of course he has. He’s had a good childhood. That’s what makes it so hard, you don’t know whether you’re wrong or right for wanting something other than a successful career like you’ve been told you should by your ever-so-loving parents. He’s been bred to thirst for the good life, for the money. His parents have faith in him, and that’s what makes it all the worse. Were it fear driving him, maybe it’d be easier. Maybe he’s just weak, maybe he’s just trying to look for an excuse for his submissive conditioning. Maybe it’s not even his fault.
He’s happy for Jaewon, of course. There’s no doubt in that. It’s just that...there’s always that little voice. The little bitter voice that whispers curses to you in church, that asks you what might happen if you hurled a brick at your own mother while she cooked dinner, that conjures up the worst of dreams about you doing things that would make a nun faint.
But that’s not the point. Dongho has to learn to not fixate on such things like this. It’s unhealthy.
***
Dongho groans, flexing his shoulders, stretching his back and rubbing his forehead in exasperated exhaustion. Jun's been refusing to talk to him all day, his parents are furious, and this damn computer just won’t work the way it’s supposed to.
He’s working on a video that he’s been paid to edit. Editing’s his side job, outside of his main one with his parents and his school life, of course. Part 3 of the whole is already finished, but taking forever to render, and he’s got to splice all three parts together before 6 am on Sunday, which is in two hours. It’s pretty safe to say that he’s stressed out.
He looks back at the mirror. Jaewon’s sleeping. Hm.
For some reason, seeing him there, cuddling a plush penguin in his sleep...it calms him. Dongho stands up, drinks a sip of water and sits back down, feeling rejuvenated. Jaewon’s still here, he’s not alone. He can do this.
The next morning, Jaewon wakes up to find a sleeping Dongho, draped over his desk, head laying on a closed laptop. He smiles, walking up to the mirror to get a better look. Dongho must have pulled an all-nighter. He’ll probably wake up feeling crappy, so it wouldn’t hurt to maybe...Leave him something.
He takes a sticky note and writes a quick something before walking up to the mirror, sticking it on, and leaving. Dongho wakes up to see what he wrote an hour later.
‘Good morning Dongho! I hope you got enough sleep. Have you been working all night? You looked uncomfortable, so I hope that when you do wake up you don’t feel too bad. Good luck on whatever you were doing! See you later. - Jaewon’
He chuckles. Jaewon’s so sweet. It’s too bad he can’t keep the note itself, he’d have to resort to a photo. Dongho snaps a picture, sets his phone down and hops into bed. He’s right, he does need sleep. Dongho can thank him later, when he gets back.
***
The next time Jaewon walks into his room, Dongho’s got an instrument case out, and seems to be rubbing something on a what looks like a bow.
“What are you doing, Dongho?”
“I’m taking care of my violin,” He answers, not looking up to see Jaewon watching him, “Rubbing rosin on my bow.”
“You know how to play violin?” Jaewon leans against his bed, still watching him with a gentle smirk playing on his lips.
“Yeah I do. I even taught my brother how to play a bit, once.”
“Will you play something for me?” He smiles cheekily, planting his chin on his palm.
Dongho finally looks up at him, perhaps a bit surprised. “Ah, sure, give me a minute.” He nods, picking up his instrument. With a quick second to grasp the neck of his violin and position his fingers just right on the bow, he begins.
“This one’s called Berceuse Romantique. I don’t know if you have it in your world.”
Jaewon takes a seat and lets Dongho start, watching intently as his fingers swiftly move and the bow begins gliding over the strings with ease, moving gracefully. It’s like watching a dream in its process of manifestation. The melody gives off a blissful, carefree air, similar to how one would feel going for a romp in a flower field as a child. Indeed, Jaewon knows that this is painfully poetic, but it’s the truth. And Dongho himself, with his tall frame and oh-so fluid movements, is an equal part in this performance. He seems to be moving with little to no effort, with every note coming to him as if it were summoned and delivered on its own.
It’s a show made just for him.
***
Dongho turns onto his side, struggling to fix his shirt under the black sheets of his bed. He sighs. His mind just can’t stay away from him, can it?
From Jaewon.
He’s always so kind, so compassionate, so supportive of anything Dongho chooses to do. Always there to talk to when he’s feeling down, always there to give him his dose of much needed serotonin. He understands Dongho, or at least he tries his best to, if he can’t fully do so.
It makes him feel warm, thinking about Jaewon. What a blissful feeling that settles in the pit of his stomach.
Jaewon, meanwhile, was in the kitchen downstairs eating an orange. Of course, his mind was elsewhere. Specifically on the topic of the black-haired male that was thought to be asleep beyond his mirror.
He’s so smart and interesting, such an amazing person to converse with. Dongho’s always got his own opinion about things, no matter the topic. He’s responsible, educated, and so, so skilled. Dongho’s the most patient man Jaewon knows, always up to teach him about things he doesn’t know about, so very understanding about his struggles. Not to mention funny, he’s always able to make him laugh until it hurts.
Jaewon feels the familiarity of the butterflies within him, giggles in giddy delight, and tosses his orange peel.
They knew, both of them knew what these feelings were. It was just a matter of how they’d act on it.
***
Dongho walks into his room, a decision set in his heart. He’s got to do it now, now or never.
“Jaewon,” He calls, walking up to the mirror, “I should tell you this.”
“Oh? What is it, Dongho?”
He takes a deep breath. He’s made his decision.
“I don’t want to skirt around this and waste time so...I’ll just come right out and say it. I really like you. Romantically. It’s ok if you don’t feel the same, I just wanted to get it off my chest.”
“Dongho,” Jaewon beams at him, getting off his bed and meeting the other’s hand pressed against the mirror glass with his own, “Thank you...I feel the same.”
No words could describe how happy the two felt to admit to each other their feelings, and realize the foundation of a relationship they would cherish for the rest of their lives.
***
Walking into his room, Jaewon notices two things. The first, Dongho’s not in his room at the moment. Second, There's a taped sheet of notebook paper against the mirror. It reads, “I’m out at a meeting today, that’s why I’m not home. I just want to let you know that I hope you have a good day today.” and a heart signed at the bottom.
Jaewon smiles. He’s so sweet.
‘Actually, this is the perfect time to make something for him. A simple gift.’
He wanders over to his desk chair and takes a seat, bringing his pencil and paper along with him to get to work. He had once taken a picture of Dongho playing violin. It’s perfect. Jaewon will draw him!
After a good three hours or so later, he has the finished product. It’s all done in pencil, in a soft sort of style. Jaewon doesn't consider himself to be an amazing artist overall, but it's one certain style that he's always known how to do. Stippling is the one he's good at, despite the strenuous hours it takes and all the cramps of the hand he gets. He sets the art aside and hops on his laptop while he waits for Dongho to get home.
Soon enough, Dongho makes his way in the room, seemingly tired again and dropping all his things into his desk chair. Jaewon jumps up to greet him.
“Hey! Dongho! I have something for you.”
He picks up the drawing and carries it over to press it against the glass as Dongho perks up a bit, interested. He walks over to the glass and looks down at the drawing, silent. He’s quiet, but his face convey millions of emotions, the predominant one being amazement. It's easy to tell, from the glossy look in his eye, that there's a whole pool of silenced emotion, swirling within him
He grins, never taking his gaze off the page. “Jaewon, I love this!” He whispers.
Their eyes meet, and just for a second Jaewon can see the words, the sentiment Dongho omitted. Smiling, Jaewon sets down the paper, but says nothing else. He’ll wait until Dongho’s ready.
***
Dongho plunks at his keyboard, his head resting against the coolness of the surface. It’s a pretty boring day so far.
All of a sudden, Jaewon comes running in and hops on his bed, smiling gaily. Dongho looks up at him, a questioning look on his face.
“Wonnie? What’s up?”
Jaewon hops off the bed and makes his way to sit on his rug, crossing his legs and beaming at his boyfriend.
“I came out to my mom today. I didn’t know what to expect, but she was completely fine! She supports me...I’m so happy!”
Dongho smiles softly, watching him. “That’s amazing, Jaewon!”
It’s true. Dongho’s never been good at empathizing, but he knows what a relief it is to know that your parents accept you for who you are. His heart warms, just at the thought of Jaewon’s mother. She sounds like such a nice person, so accepting. Would he be able to meet her one day? Who knows
When Jaewon’s happy, he’s happy, even with the nagging thought in the back of his head, telling him that he should do the same too. He has put off coming out for a long time now. He wouldn’t know what they’d say, honestly. They’re sweet parents, usually, but...not always the most open minded. He’d hope that they accept him. Dongho can’t imagine what he would feel if they didn’t.
***
The thought seemed to plague him for an entire week afterwards. What would they say? Dongho didn’t have the strength to keep going without knowing, but neither could he just gather the courage to march right up and tell them. It was the constant wondering of whether he really knows his parents or not. Honestly, the most of their interactions were limited to simple commands, suggestions, favors. "Take care of Jun today." or "Make sure you've finished your homework by dinnertime."
Had they really spent much time trying to hold a real conversation with him before? Now that he tries to recall...No. There's no telling whether they'd be supportive or not. Dongho may be able to handle a lot, but that pressing knowledge that he still doesn't have...It's killing him
And that’s how he made the final decision. He’d do it. He’d wait a week or so, to build up his courage, and finally do it.
Thing is, waiting a week doesn’t help solidify your courage, it just haunts you every night, reminding you, ‘You’ve got to do it in four days’, and ‘It’s going to happen really soon’.
Maybe telling Jaewon about his plan would be a good idea. He needs a bit of comfort.
“Yah, Jaewon.” Dongho calls from his bed, in a daze.
“Oh, yeah?”
“I think...I’m going to come out to my parents tomorrow.”
“You...You are? Oh, Dongho…” Jaewon crawls out of his own bed and wanders over to the mirror, looking in, “I’ll be here for you, no matter what. I’m proud of you.”
Jaewon smiles at him, eyes crinkling like always, restoring hope to Dongho’s petrified soul. Perhaps that’s what makes it worth it all, in the end.
***
That same night, Dongho left his room, telling Jaewon he was ready to talk to his parents. He didn’t come back to his room that night.
Jaewon spent the whole night awake staring at the ceiling, at the wall, then the ceiling again. He knows what this means. There’s only one possible reason that would keep Dongho from coming back to his room.
Eventually, he manages to fall asleep, something he would regret.
In the morning, Jaewon finds himself forgetting just what worried him so bad all night, and feels as if it were just a normal morning again. It’s the note on the mirror that reminds him of the severity of the terror he had felt just hours before
He walks up to read what it says.
“I’m sorry Jaewon. I told them. They didn't take it very well at all. I don’t think I can keep living like this. I love you, so so much. I’m sorry.”
The black haired male sinks to his knees, trembling and clenching his fist, pressed right up against the mirror. Can he believe it? Should he? Regardless, reality won't change for him. The room beyond the mirror is empty, quiet. No sign of Dongho at all.
He’s gone.
Grabbing a pillow, it’s agony Jaewon screams.
***
Of course, Jaewon must go to school. He must pretend that there’s nothing wrong. He must act as if this doesn’t affect them. Jaewon walks down into the kitchen, trying his best to not appear mindless and greets his mom as usual before heading off to school.
Daehyun, Minsoo and Yoonhee, his friends, greet him as normal, cheerfully. Of course, they notice his change in his usual mood, despite how hard he tries to hide it. They always know him too well, don't they?
Even then, it doesn’t really matter. He can only think about him all day anyway. All throughout the morning, everything he heard went in one ear and came out the other. All morning, he couldn’t help but ask himself, ‘Should I go too?’
No, he can’t. Dongho would never want him to. God, Dongho . The mention of the name makes him wince.
Daehyun soon comes up to him, newly dyed blond hair bouncing along, perhaps hoping that a little conversation will restore his good friend's morale, “Jaewon-ah! I heard that we’re getting a new student,” He wiggles his eyebrows, “And I heard he’s rich, hot, and tall. Sound like something you’re interested in?”
There’s a pain stabbing his heart. Everything reminds him of Dongho. Everywhere he turns, it’s something about him. The books he used to read, the brand he used to wear.
'Used to,' Jaewon notes bitterly, on the verge of tears. He really shouldn't be at school right now, any minute he might—
“Hey, quiet!” Their teacher booms, “We have a new transfer student.”
Murmurs sound out among the students. A new student?
“Come in,” The teacher motions towards himself, in the direction of the door. In comes the new student, eliciting a resounding gasp from the class. Dark hair, a towering stature, a stoic face. He takes a stand in the middle of the front of the room and bows.
“My name is Kang Dongho. It’s nice to meet you.”
***
After class, Jaewon manages to scramble away from his pushing friends, forcing his way through the crowd and past tightly packed groups people as fast as he possibly can.
‘I’ve gotta catch up! There’s no way—!’
Jaewon stumbles over a fallen backpack and almost trips, but manages to escape the crowd. Panic runs through his veins, warm as blood in his ears and cheeks. He couldn't have lost him!
Apparently, he had spoken too soon. With a turn of the corner, he encounters Dongho, alone, checking his schedule. Jaewon's mouth refuses to move, perhaps so frightened of the odds, so intimidated by the chance of Dongho not ever wanting to talk to him again. But he'll never know if he doesn't take a chance.
“H-Hey! Wait!” Jaewon exclaims
The dark haired male ahead turns around to look at him, raising an eyebrow. He doesn't seem to remember Jaewon at all. “You need something?” He asks.
“Ah—um…”
What would he say? This obviously isn’t the Dongho he knows. It wouldn’t be the same. But still!
Still!
He can’t just leave it here. Maybe this’ll just be a way of grieving, coping, something. Maybe he’ll get so attached to real-world Dongho that he’ll forget about the one he had known. Maybe he’ll fall in love anew. Whatever they might end up as, there's no way he can just let him in and out of his life like that.
This isn't the end for them. It just can't be.
“I’m Jaewon!” He bows, hoping that real-world Dongho just might be a carbon copy, without the memories. If it just so happened to turn out this way, he'd be able to use his existing knowledge about the other man's personality to his advantage. It'd be his only choice.
Dongho pauses, silent, and Jaewon looks up to see what’s wrong. There's an expression on his face, as if something just clicked. Unreadable, but oh-so familiar. Then a tear starts trickling down his cheek.
In a pained voice, he utters, “Jaewon…?”
It’s him.
He’s here, right in front of him. The man he's known for so long. The man he thought he lost to the weight of rejection. The man he loves.
Without hesitation, Dongho cups Jaewon’s cheek and holds his waist with a firm grip, diving in for their first kiss. It’s full of a vigor that Jaewon had never known the other male had in him.
“I love you, Dongho.”
“I love you too, Jaewon. I’m not leaving you again,” he sobs, holding the smaller male as tight as comfortably possible, “I promise.”