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Numb hands grip a broom, sweeping and sweeping. The tile is always a difficult surface. Dust just loves to fall into the cracks, doesn’t it? With one go-over, you get the top surface, but you do another few to get the parts that drag behind.
Jaewon, the owner of the numb hands in question, stops his toil and leans on the end of the broom, feeling the ball of it push into his palm, unsteady and wavering.
“Yah, Jaewon,” A voice behind him yawns. Jun, the owner of this shop he sweeps the floors of. He walks out from the back room, examining his tablet.
“Jun? What’s up?”
“I’m thinking of getting a tongue piercing. What do you think?”
Jaewon tilts his head and smiles softly at him, a playful glint dancing in his eyes, “Tongue piercing? I can do that for you, if you’d like.”
“Not you, I don't trust your skills. I’d go down the street for it.”
He pouts and rises, gripping the broom and again returning to his chore, “Juuuun! I’m learning! But I think you should, it fits you.”
A vibration in his pocket catches his attention. Strange, usually no one calls him. Who could that be? Out comes the phone, and the caller ID is revealed.
‘ Yoonhee ’
Ah, Yoonhee. She’s a good friend of Jaewon’s, as they had grown up together and shared similar interests, like makeup. Yes, makeup. All throughout Jaewon’s upper school years, he had been a master of the art of facial paints, as you might call them. Mostly because Yoonhee’s mother had a massive supply of makeup that they just couldn’t resist leaving alone. Sure, he was bullied for it, sure he was called queer, but it wasn’t exactly a lie.
Jaewon swipes to answer and holds his phone up to his ear.
“Oh, hey Yoonhee!” he chirps.
His friend’s apologetic voice comes gliding in over the line, “Jaewon! Hi, I'm really sorry, I need to ask a favor.”
“Oh sure, what is it?”
“I was supposed to do makeup for an idol group, Hi-LITE today for a fansign, but my car broke down and I’m stuck out here. Do you think you can go in for me?” She pleads.
Jaewon freezes. He’s always wanted to do makeup for a living, but never got an opportunity to, hence his settling for a job at Junsu’s tattoo/piercing place. Yoonhee was the one that really pursued that dream, Jaewon was ready to let it die. But how could he? It’s still there, that fire.
It's just that...his insecurity is even stronger.
Before he can give Yoonhee his same old “I wouldn’t be a good fit”, she starts reprimanding him. “Don’t even start with the whole putting yourself down thing, you’re an amazing makeup artist, even better than I am.”
Jun interrupts with a wry smirk, “She’s right, you are.”
“Hey, tell Jun I heard that! Anyway, It’s ok if you can’t, but don’t let that be the reason. I mean, come on! They’ll even pay you!”
Jaewon pauses to consider the offer. It really wouldn’t hurt. And it is true, Jaewon is pretty good at makeup, he’s practiced for most of his life.
“Ok. I’ll do it! Send me the location, Yoonhee.”
Hanging up, Jaewon pulls on his coat, says goodbye to a protesting Jun (“You’ve still got an hour left of your shift!”), and heads off to get a cab.
***
Was this a mistake? Hopefully not.
The first thing that Jaewon notes upon arriving at the location, is how terribly crowded it is. Almost suffocating, with all the squealing girls and guys standing around, running to each other and screaming about something or another. He doesn’t blame them, it must be exciting to see your idol in person. And meet them? Up close? Even better!
The rush inside the actual studio is exquisite. People running around dragging other people, lugging along the wardrobe, preparing for the day’s work.
‘The group’s name is Hi-LITE’ Yoonhee had said. Hi-LITE? An interesting name. Jaewon wondered whether he had ever heard them or not.
Suddenly, a woman holding a clipboard, almost like out of the movies, comes up to him. “Are you Yoonhee’s replacement?” She asks, “Are you Ahn Jaewon?”
“A-Ah, yes! I am. What—What should I be doing?”
“Here, come with me,” She grabs his arm and drags him along, her stern countenance never changing, “You’re a bit late, so I hope you know how to work fast. Everyone else on the team is busy, and Minsoo’s been waiting a while.”
Jaewon follows her nervously, eyes frantically searching for a person that might be this so-called Minsoo. He’s never worked on an idol before...The idea makes him anxious already.
“Try to make it look like this,” she hands Jaewon a few photos, all of men with makeup applied similarly, “Focus more on the eyes, alright? Make them stand out.”
She leaves. Jaewon looks down at the photos. Pink lips, mainly, with strawberry—
“So you’re the guy we’ve been waiting for?”
Startled, he looks up. A man sitting in a chair before him, silver locks hanging over his face and large eyes staring Jaewon down. How’d he not notice him in the first place.
“Oh, yes! Sorry, I was looking at the concept photos...I’m Jaewon.”
“And I’m Minsoo,” He smiles, perfect white teeth shone in a quirky sort of grin as he extends his hand, “Glad to be working with you. Can’t wait to see what you do.”
Jaewon gives him a nervous, wavering smile and begins, picking up the foundation.
Minsoo’s a pretty person, without makeup. He’s got good lips, a strong jawline (which can’t be corrected by makeup, obviously), and full eyebrows. Not to mention his eyes, oh, his eyes. So big, so bright. He’s got double eyelids too! Of course, Jaewon doesn’t doubt that some of this ‘perfection’ is due to surgery, he’s known that many idols do indeed go through that process. Does it matter to him? No! In his eyes, plastic surgery is permanent makeup. You feel better, you feel confident.
Though it doesn’t honestly look like he’s had much done. Since he’s granted the exclusive permission of touching said idol’s face, Jaewon finds that everything looks pretty clear. Not even any ear scars. Then again, Minsoo is pretty young. The most that he might have had is a nose job, but even then it looks pretty natural. Whatever, it’s not really his concern.
The most astounding part about him was how good he was at sensing what Jaewon meant to do. Needless to say, Jaewon is a very shy person. He has a bit of a hard time telling people exactly what he wants. But Minsoo...He just seems to know exactly which way to turn his head for Jaewon, nodding just a bit in tacit understanding.
Jaewon pulls the lip tint away from the male to admire his finished work.
“Woah, you did an amazing job!” Minsoo observes, stepping out of the chair while watching himself in the mirror. The rest of Hi-LITE stands a little while away, watching Minsoo as he gets up.
“Thank you” Jaewon flushes, watching the male go back to his group. Turns out this was a good idea.
***
Hours after the fansign began, Minsoo finds himself back in the makeup studio. The rest of Hi-LITE has already gone home, but he’s still here. Why? Because he lost his stupid phone.
Now how did he lose his phone if he usually keeps it on him at all times? It’s a pretty simple answer, really. While he was waiting for the makeup artist to show up, his phone died. Just his luck, especially after D.Min, one of his group members, had offered him a charger. Of course, him being the stubborn little bitch he is, he refused it. Not in a million years would he go back on an offer after already refusing it. Especially if it’s D.Min, that son of a bitch. He doesn’t have any bad feelings towards him, really, but it’s the fact that he’s so cocky and stuck up sometimes that pisses him off.
On the makeup table he sat at hours earlier, he sees a rectangular object. It looked like his phone. He goes to pick it up.
“Eh—? A notebook? And my phone…”
Indeed, Minsoo found his phone, but along with it he came across a notebook. A simple one, plastic green cover with white lined pages inside, filled with scribbled notes, drawings, and the like. He wouldn’t go through it, no matter how much his curiosity begged him. It’s not his, anyway.
On the first page, Minsoo finds that the notebook belongs to an ‘ Ahn Jaewon ’, printed in neat handwriting with a phone number right underneath.
‘Huh. That’s the guy that did my makeup. Didn’t he already leave? His phone number’s in here...I should probably return it to him.’
Picking up his own phone, Minsoo attempts to turn it on. The screen lights up.
'Looks like somebody charged it for me while I was gone. Cool.'
He dials in the number written in the notebook. After a few rings, someone picks up.
“Hello?”
“Ah, yes, is this Ahn Jaewon?”
The voice on the other side of the line immediately turns to concern. “Yes it is.”
“I found your notebook. Sorry, I just thought you’d want it back. I’m one of the members of Hi-LITE you did makeup for today.”
The concern evident in the other’s voice turns to sudden relief. “Oh, really?” he sighs happily, “Thank you! Um...are you still at the studio? I can go back to get it.”
“Yeah sure, I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
Minsoo hangs up and walks down to the lobby to wait in a seat close to the entrance. Soon enough, a figure clad in skinny jeans and a baggy sweater with the hood pulled up walks in, catching Minsoo’s eye. That must be him.
“Ah, Jaewon,” Minsoo acknowledges the other male from earlier that day, “Here, I have your notebook.”
He hands it to him. “Thank you! I appreciate it. Your name was Minsoo, right?” Jaewon smiles.
“Yes, I’m Minsoo. You did my makeup earlier.”
“Ah, yea! I just wanted to say...you were good practice!”
Jaewon stops. ‘Good practice?’ He reprimands, ‘Don’t say that!’
“Wait, not practice,” He tries to correct himself, “I mean like—You moved the way I wanted you to without me telling you, it was...nice.”
Minsoo laughs softly, “Yeah, I get you. Anyway, uh...Since I have your phone number already, would you like mine? Y’know, so it’s not weird?”
The silver haired male internally cringes. That’s the best he can do? Really? Then again, he’s only ever asked for 3 phone numbers in his life, including Jaewon’s. But still, he’s an idol! A shining ball of charisma! Right?
Surprisingly, the taller man shows no sign of any discomfort or awkward confusion. Instead, he chuckles and takes out his phone to accept.
“Ah—sure! Here, you can put it in right now—”
Jaewon fumbles with the phone and hands it to Minsoo. He takes a few seconds to put in his number, with a series of small tap-tap-taps .
He hands the phone back to Jaewon and walks off with a small flick of the hand and a “See ya!”
Looking back down at his phone, Jaewon flushes at the contact name labeling this new number.
‘Minsoo <3’
Still, it’s pretty cool that he even made a new friend somehow.
***
“I promise you, Jun does the best piercings,” Jaewon gushes, leading Minsoo into the shop, “he even did my helix one!”
Minsoo had expressed interest in getting a piercing a while ago during one of the many conversations they’ve had. Obviously, Jaewon couldn’t resist promoting his best friend.
“So you’ve said. Can’t wait to meet him!”
The two walk into the shop and sit in nearby chairs, waiting for Jun to finish with his current client. Minsoo’s hopes are pretty high. His friend highly recommends the place, so why not? Besides, he makes this Jun guy seem to be a pretty cool dude. It’s safe to say that Minsoo’s got high expectations.
Perhaps the reality of what was about to happen met these standards, but it was all definitely not what Minsoo thought would happen.
A stern looking man with dark black hair and tattoos all along his neck and arm walks in, holding a tablet.
“You Jaewon’s friend? So what do you want?” He asks, standing beside him, an unimpressed expression on his face.
“Ah, I came for a lip piercing. Under the name ‘Lee Minsoo.’”
Jun checks his tablet a moment, swiping silently before nodding. He takes a seat next to a grinning Jaewon and begins reading off his tablet.
“Ok, I’m going to have to go over this shit before we start, so listen up. First of all, you’re going to get a diet plan. No hot or spicy food. Drink lots of water and tea. Don’t get any soap or lotion…”
Of course, Minsoo finds himself tuning out the dark-haired male’s words, instead finding interest in the fluorescent lights above him and the smooth, dark countertops free from any visible clutter. His gaze travels to his friend seated next to him, still smiling so gently, so kindly at him.
Huh. He’s got a nice smile.
“—got it?” Jun grumbles, interrupting Minsoo’s thought process as he pulls on gloves.
“A-Ah, yea!”
Jaewon giggles beside him, and Minsoo finds tranquility in listening to him. He has a nice laugh too.
***
Over a good half a year, Jaewon and Minsoo became closer. Even all through the awkward moments, the happy days and the occasional arguments, they remained good friends. Such good friends in fact, that they could almost rival Jaewon and Jun’s relationship. A rare match indeed.
On one particular spring afternoon, Jaewon stands outside Minsoo’s door, waiting patiently for him to open. He looks down at his new dog, a pomeranian, who seems to just not have the capacity to sit still. Smiling softly, he begins to try to calm her.
Right as he does, Minsoo opens the door. Jaewon looks at him briefly, noting how his eyes lit up seeing him and his pupils quickly dilated.
“Jaewon!”
“Hey Minsoo! See, this is Chai! Isn’t she cute?”
“Damn,” He bends over to see eye-to-eye with the bouncing pomeranian,”She is cute. Can i get your number, girl?”
Jaewon giggles at his silliness and walks in through the door as Minsoo makes room. His cheeks flush at the sound of the other male’s joy. It just makes him feel...Warm.
“So where’d you get her?” Minsoo inquires, climbing over his couch to grab a cup of water for his friend.
“At a shelter. I wanted to get a dog, cause I felt a little lonely, you know? I was thinking of getting a cat, but I just had one a little while ago, and I think it’s time for a change!”
“Yeah I get that,” Minsoo agrees, handing water to Jaewon, “I had a cat once, but I don’t think i really want to get another one. Anyway, Wha—Agh!”
Minsoo trips over an overexcited Chai, who doesn’t seem to know how to sit still. She runs off as the silver-haired man grabs a hold of the nearest object to him. Of course, it wasn’t an object, it was Jaewon’s arm, a concerned Jaewon standing beside him, desperately trying to get Chai to calm herself. To the floor they go, falling in tandem, laughing and tumbling over each other.
Jaewon finds himself landing above Minsoo, one hand by his head as he hovers over him.
“Ah, sorry!” He giggles, blushing profusely. Not for any particular reason, he convinced himself. Minsoo didn’t catch it either, so it’s fine!
“Yeah you’re good.” His friend smiles at him, reaching out for a bit of help to lift himself up, “We’re just clumsy.”
Jaewon knows his heart beats irregularly around MInsoo. It’s weird, and he doesn’t know why, but...It’s best he leaves that alone. It’ll probably stop at some point. Maybe when they become even closer. Who knows?
***
*Bzz Bzz*
Jaewon turns his head to look at his phone. A text? Huh? It’s Minsoo. Jaewon feels the lightest sensation of what you might call butterflies in the pit of his stomach.
‘Heyyy’
What could he need? Or was he just looking to have a conversation? The possibilities raced in Jaewon’s head. He types in a quick response.
‘Hi!!’
A reply comes in soon after Jaewon’s greeting.
‘Weird question, but have you ever had feelings for someone?’
‘Feelings?!’ Jaewon flushes, turning onto his back. What’s Minsoo talking about feelings for? That’s actually…
He shakes his head. Nevermind that.
‘Kind of. I’m not sure…’
‘I see. I dunno, its just that theres someone i know that i think i really like, but i dont know what to do about it.’
Well that’s...mildly upsetting. Why? Why did this upset him? Jaewon was beginning to notice something inside him that he hadn’t ever known before. Almost as if he hadn’t expected Minsoo to find someone he likes, get with them and eventually forget all about their friendship. Honestly, it was a miracle to Jaewon that he hadn’t abandoned him, seeing as how he was an idol and all that.
Then again...idols are lonely people. With everyone saying they love you only because of your appearance, your status, it probably feels terrible not having a true friend that would stick with you anyway.
Jaewon was determined not to let Minsoo become one of them. Not while he’s alive.
He sighs, beginning to type in his next reply. It’s not about him right now. He’s got to help out his friend.
‘Well...i’m no good at advice, but my mom told me this once. You’ll probably know when it’s right, and when you do, just go for it, cause you don’t live forever. I’m not sure if that will help you, but I wish you luck :)’
Minsoo takes a minute to read before Jaewon gets to see what he says next.
A simple ‘Thank you Jaewon.’
Turning off his phone, Jaewon flips onto his stomach again, frowning. He’s got a bad feeling. Should he have said that?
***
“Ah, fuck it’s freezing.” Minsoo grumbles, anxiously knocking on Jaewon’s door. He hasn’t been responding to any contact these past few days. Hasn’t shown up to work, or even texted Jun. What the hell happened?
Suddenly Jaewon answers the door, wide eyed and weary with lack of sleep, donning baggy stained clothes and a red face. He seems to be startled by seeing his friend at his door.
“Minsoo! What are you doing here?”
“Jaewon…” Minsoo begins, concern laced in his voice, “Are you alright? You haven’t been answering my texts.”
“Ah, yeah...I’m sorry, it’s just that...Chai died.”
Oh my god, no wonder. His dog died. Already? She was only a couple years old.
“What?! Wonnie, I’m...I’m so sorry.”
Yeah.” Jaewon’s voice waivers, almost as if he was about to cry, and his head droops.
‘Shit, should I…?’ Minsoo wonders. Fuck it. He reaches tentatively forward to embrace the other man, and Jaewon lets himself relax in his arms. Rubbing small circles in his back and his fingers through his hair, Minsoo whispers to Jaewon, “It’s okay.”
His heart melts as he holds Jaewon’s shivering form, sobbing into his shirt. His emotion soon calms and he manages to utter a quiet “Thank you, Minsoo.”
The silver haired man smiles into the other’s cheek and feels himself going red. Damn, he’s fallen hard.
***
The days go by slowly. Minsoo had made an ultimate decision, one that he couldn’t go back on. And it’s been four days since it happened. Four days since he’s seen the sun.
He hears a knock at the door. He hasn’t ordered anything. Who’s that? Usually, he’d just ignore it, but this...he has a feeling it’s someone he doesn’t want to miss. He opens the door, and…
It’s Jaewon, holding a new stuffed bear.
“Minsoo! Are you doing ok? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
Oh, how the tables have turned.
Exactly four days prior, Minsoo had paid a visit to his parents. He had something important to tell them. Of course, they had never been a supportive bunch. At all. Apparently, it was just one small fact that pushed them over the edge. As insignificant to them as anything else, he had come to them with years worth of fear and dread in his heart, finally with enough courage conjured up to have the decency to tell them a little fact he couldn’t change.
Of course, he had expected this. With such religious parents, there’s no way he’d get past it safely. It isn’t a preference for them. ‘Oh, you like men instead of women? Cool.’ isn’t what he expected. But God, did it hurt hearing what they did say. Hearing the two people he had once looked up to so much tell him that he was a child of evil and force him to never come back again really doesn’t do well for the mind. But who’s he to try to placate them? He’s done playing Mr. Nice Guy with. Fuck them, and fuck anyone else like them.
Doesn’t mean he won’t feel bad. God, feeling bad’s an understatement. It’s an ever-present thought that haunts him in the night and just won’t go away no matter how much he wants, how much he begs himself to just not care. Sometimes, being jaded is just a matter of protection. Say what you want about him being weak, but he’s had enough of the world.
Minsoo feels a burn in the corner of his eyes, looking down at Jaewon.
Yea, he’s had enough of the world, but...Maybe it’s worth it, being here. For him.
Tears stream down Minsoo’s face. He’s not ready.
Jaewon takes a slow step in through the door, “Minsoo...Minsoo are you ok?”
Taking a seat on the couch, Minsoo tries desperately to slow his tears. Jaewon can’t...He can’t see him like this. The other male follows and sits hesitantly next to him.
“Yeah..Yeah, I’m fine.” Minsoo manages to scratch out, wiping away the remaining tears.
“Minsoo, what happened?”
Jaewon had already known about Minsoo’s preference. He had supported it, and in time even admitted himself that he was the same. He’d understand how much this means. Minsoo knows.
“I...I came out to my parents a little while ago. Of course, they didn’t like it, and...They got mad, a-and they cut me off and—”
He gently places a hand on Minsoo’s thigh, prompting him to look into Jaewon’s face, breathless.
Is this what Jaewon’s mom meant, that he’d know when it’s right?
He doesn’t know. Probably, but he doesn’t really care. He leans forward and meets Jaewon’s lips with his own, moving in perfect harmony. With him.
“Mph…”
Minsoo presses him into the couch, deepening their kiss as much as he could possibly manage. It isn’t like in the books, he doesn’t feel sparks or taste any cherries, but he’s happy. This is Jaewon. He's here with him, moving with him, loving him.
It’s all Minsoo has ever wanted.