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When Tanjirou explains what happened with the Hashiras, Zenitsu stays silent.
He doesn't say anything when Tanjirou speaks of the trial, of Nezuko being hurt and of the votes in favour of the siblings' death. Inosuke yells and complains besides him, and Tanjirou tries to calm him, but Zenitsu stays silent.
He thinks.
He thinks about Tanjirou and his kindness, his heartbeat who seems too good to be real, the way he doesn't yell or insult him when Zenitsu admits he's scared. He thinks about the way he seemed so sad, that night when he explained what happened to his family.
He thinks about Nezuko and her determination, the way her eyes soften when she looks at her brother. The way they start to soften when she looks at him and Inosuke too.
He thinks about Inosuke and his harsh nature, his rudeness and insults and hidden care for the ones he calls subordinates. He thinks of nights spent whispering in the dark while failing to fall asleep, bantering for various and stupid reasons.
He thinks about Kaigaku and the way he dismissed Zenitsu for being too weak, for having feelings, for being human. He thinks about how everyone he ever met spat on demons, talking about how they were the scum of the earth, how they didn't deserve to live. Back then, Zenitsu remembers thinking: But didn't they use to be humans?
He hadn't said anything. He never did.
The Demon Slayer Corps will be your shelter, your family, and the Hashiras your protectors. Gramps said with a nod, and Zenitsu believed him.
But now he thinks about them, about how the kindest people he met, about the tragedy that struck them and the way they fought against it. He thinks about how these kind and amazing siblings don't meet the Corps' standards.
This isn't fair, he thinks, none of this is fair.
That night, Zenitsu grabs his uniform, where the Kanji “destroy” is sewn on the back, and clutches it until his fingers become white.
It's nor fair, but nothing is. Life isn't fair, Gramps isn't fair, Kaigaku isn't fair, and the Hashiras aren't fair either. They're the ones in control and they're not fair.
They weren't fair to Tanjirou.
When they train with Shinobu, following her orders and complimenting her beauty even as a part of him burns is easy. When they get on the train and meet Rengoku, Zenitsu smiles and looks at him with an admiration too wild and sudden to be sincere.
When Tanjirou starts complimenting the Flame Hashira and gushes over him, he wants to yell.
He wanted Nezuko dead! He wanted you dead! How can you forgive him like this?! How can you just forget and move on?!
How can you trust him?
He doesn't say anything. He stays silent.
But when Rengoku proclaims with a smile that he'll look after them, a single word rings loudly in his mind.
Liar.