Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"You know, Station 7 has a dog…"

"No they don't.". Captain Maya Bishop kept her eyes locked on her tablet, completing the scene report as she sat on the steps into the Aid Car. 

"Sure they do," agreed Andy, coming to join her on the steps, holding a cardboard tray of coffees she'd just bought from the coffee shop at the corner. "She's a dalmatian called…" She passed Ben the coffee she'd bought for him and tried to remember the dog's name. "...Cleo, yeah, Cleopatra." 

"No." Maya looked up at her once more best friend and took her coffee. "Thank you, and you're making that name up." 

"You're welcome and no I'm not." Andy tossed the cardboard tray in the back of the Aid Car, went to take a sip of her coffee only to realise she'd given Maya the wrong one. "Swap, this is yours." She smirked at the confused look her once more best friend sent in her direction. "That's a Gingerbread Latte." She watched as her Captain's nose wrinkled in disgust. "What?”  Andy shrugged as Maya exchanged the coffees, looking at the offending paper cup like it was something extremely unpleasant rather than a seasonally appropriate drink which twelve months ago she’d have drunk without thought except perhaps to grumble at the syrup making it a bit sweet.  “It’s Christmas…”  Andy inhaled the fragrant steam, smiling as her best friend cautiously sniffed the new cup, then tasted it to check that it wasn’t anything seasonal.  “I swear Carina's turned you into a coffee snob." 

“So…” interjected Ben quickly, reminding the two senior firefighters of his presence - he and the rest of the team had been very glad when the two women had repaired their fractured relationship and were once more best friends, but that didn’t mean he necessarily wanted to be in earshot if, as best friends, Carina was the topic.  Modern man he may be, in tune with his and his wife’s emotions, but there were some things he was happier not knowing about his Captain and her Italian girlfriend who happened to also work with his wife.  “...is the Station 7 dog really called Cleopatra?”

“It’s not the Station 7 dog…” repeated Maya through gritted teeth as she returned her focus mostly to her paperwork.  “...it’s Captain Santosa’s dog.”

“ She… ” corrected Andy pointedly, grinning as Maya rolled her eyes before continuing to complete her scene reports.  “...is called that because Station 7 found her in a puddle of milk.”

“You’re making that up,” said Ben, sipping his own coffee and raising it in wordless toast to Andy when he discovered that he also had a gingerbread latte, amazed that she could not only remember all their coffee orders but also their seasonal drink preferences.

“Nope, it was...oh, ten years ago.  They responded to a jack-knifed truck which was a milk tanker...she was found abandoned by the crew when they were sealing the drains.”

“Sealing the drains?”  Ben was confused - he knew they did that if there was a chemical spill, also put down barriers to contain oil spills but milk?

“Can’t let milk get into the water system - it kills fish.”  Maya didn’t look up from her tablet, but did pause to sip her coffee.

“Anyway, that’s how Station 7’s dog got the name Cleopatra.”  Andy, usually up for a round of ‘fire nerd trivia’ as Vic called it, was more interested in the squirming Santa Hat that was on the Aid Car’s gurney and the whole reason they’d even been talking about the Station 7 dalmatian, which also meant she could ignore Maya’s continued grumbling that it wasn’t Station 7’s dog, but their Captain’s.  “How are they doing?”

“The two female ones are good I think.”  Ben stepped back so his Lieutenant could join him in the Aid Car.  “I mean, I’m a doctor not a veterinarian, but they’re warm and breathing.”  He cleared his throat, nodding in the direction of a disposable sheet that was bundled up at the other end of the gurney.  “The male one had already gone.”

“They’re so cute…” sighed Andy, reaching into the Santa Hat (it seemed smart as it was, unlike all their kit, soft fleece with a fluffy trim, though it did also make them look extra cute) and giving the nearest one’s head a gentle scratch.  “...when’s the shelter picking them up?”  

They’d been called out to a dumpster fire in an alley - not something that usually brought out the engine and aid car, but this was an alley well known for providing winter shelter to several homeless people, with the couple of local businesses that backed onto it turning a diplomatic blind eye to them as long as they weren’t mixed up with drugs or crime, while also making sure that the food they had left at the end of the day was carefully and hygienically made available to them.  So, since they were having a quiet shift generally, Maya had agreed they could bring out the Aid Car and, as well as putting out the dumpster fire (hardly surprising given it was currently the second week of snowy weather - they’d already had more days of falling snow this year than in the last four, but fortunately it wasn’t ever settling), do a bit of quiet community care.  It was while they were doing some basic treatment to cuts and the like that one of the homeless guys had wordlessly presented them with a battered cardboard box he’d found in another alley containing three abandoned puppies.

“About that…”  Ben was glad Andy was here, not sure how the Captain was going to react to the update Vic had texted him, which had included the admission that they were all avoiding the Captain and he was on his own.  “...they’re hoping we can keep them warm and dry at the station until they can get someone out to pick them up later.”

“How much later?” asked Maya, sighing.  This was bad, this was very bad.  Not because she didn’t think the puppies weren’t cute - they were, sickeningly cute with their big brown eyes and soft floppy ears that made her immediately think of her girlfriend’s silky hair.... This was bad, very bad - she was the youngest fire captain in the department’s history, she was dark and messy and her girlfriend was light and lovely and yes, Station 7 did have a dog, but they had a dog that went home with their Captain at the end of each shift and there was no way in hell she was agreeing to anything that might change who was living at her, no, their apartment.  But taking the puppies to the Station meant feeding them, and the team getting attached to them and…

“...promised to come by the end of our next shift.”

“That’s in…”  Maya looked at her watch and blinked, then turned back to look at Ben in disbelief.  “...twenty-nine hours.”  They were, thanks to some inspired idiot somewhere in the City’s Administration, all working a double shift which when your shifts were already 24 hours long, was insane, even without that double shift stretching right across Christmas Eve and into Christmas Day.  Twenty-nine hours for the team to make baby noises at the little balls of fluffy sweetness and...no, this was bad, one was looking at her over the edge of the Santa Hat, all big brown eyes and…  

“No, end of next shift.”

“But that’s…”  Andy started trying to do the math but just groaned instead, unable to keep track of whether that meant the puppies were being collected by the shelter this year or next.

“Here.”  Maya dived into the depths of her uniform and pulled out some bills, which she passed to Andy.  “Tell Vic since she’s too chicken to tell me we’ve got them until New Year, she’s on poop duty and it will be a lot easier for her if she buys them age appropriate food.”

“Sure thing.”  Andy pocketed the money, knowing better than to draw attention to the sudden emergence of her best friend’s soft side as she heard Gibson’s quick whistle from the depths of the alley.  “Looks like Benjy’s ready Ben.”

“See you back at the Station,” said Maya, standing up and preparing to head back to the Engine, Andy and Ben taking Benjy to Grey-Sloan now he’d distributed his meagre possessions amongst his friends for safe keeping and the team was satisfied the dumpster fire was out.

“Sure thing Cap.”  Ben immediately started preparing the Aid Car for their patient, which mostly meant moving the Santa Hat and its precious cargo to sit in the open top of one of the kit bags, he having the good sense to recognise that they’d already pushed their luck with Maya and asking her to go back to the Engine carrying the puppies was probably a step or three too far.

“Oh, and Herrera?”

“Yes Captain?”

“Do not mention, show, or otherwise make reference to the puppies if you see Carina.”

“Yes Captain.”  Andy could sense Ben was about to start to say something, so she shot him a look of her own, before looking back at her best friend and nodding, confirming she did understand what Maya was really saying.  

Although Andy had moved back into Robert’s, she still had some things in the guest bedroom at Maya’s and Carina’s, and she stayed over two nights every fortnight or so.  Not because things with Robert weren’t great - the opposite, they were wonderful despite all the complications his being busted back to Probie had caused.  

After his initial resistance to the idea, Robert had come to appreciate the wisdom in Amelia’s insistence that he be absolutely certain he was getting clean and sober for himself and not for Andy.  Andy didn’t entirely understand why they still needed to give each other the little breaks, but she did understand that Robert’s sober path was a particularly rocky one given he was still at Station 19 but with no rank or status, working alongside his wife every day.  If two nights out of every fourteen in Maya and Carina’s guest room kept her husband sober and her marriage healthy and wonderful, she could do that.  But she also understood how near Maya had come to trashing her relationship with Carina when she’d made the instinctive offer, and as grateful as Andy was to have her best friend back, she didn’t want it to be at the cost of Carina’s love for Maya and tried to tread with particular care.

“But you’re right,” agreed Maya quietly, looking at the little head that was peaking out of the Santa hat again.  “They are cute.”  

Not as cute as Carina, but still pretty cute.

Chapter Text

“Is that…”  Carina put down the chart she had been looking at and looked properly at the end of the gurney in the facing treatment space.  “...a Santa hat?”

“Hey Carina…”  Ben looked at the OB/GYN and tried to ignore the fact that he was certain he could feel beads of sweat collecting between his shoulder blades.  “...yes it is.”  He’d not really thought about the impact of them having the puppies with them in the Aid Car until they’d been pulling up at Grey Sloan and Andy had pointed out they couldn’t leave them in the vehicle while they took Benjy in to be treated.  Not only had Andy spent the journey explaining both exactly how the puppies would be perfect for the Station, and how easily Maya’s life could accommodate them, she’d also been equally clear how important it was that in no way did the OB/GYN doctor get any hint that they were all starting to work out how to persuade Maya (and Carina) life needed the pair of dogs.  Which had, in turn, got him agreeing with her but also meant he’d not really thought about what not leaving the puppies in the Aid Car actually meant until they were inside Grey Sloan with the puppies. And now he was rambling in his own head, to himself.  About puppies.

Puppies.

In the hospital.

Miranda was going to kill him.

“And Maya knows?”  Carina wasn’t yet near enough to see what was in the Santa hat, but its sheer presence was enough to surprise her, having listened to her girlfriend’s very amusing and unintentionally sexy rants about fire safety and synthetic fabrics and why she absolutely did not want anyone to wear a Santa hat on shift.  She saw Ben nod, picking up on his nervousness and assuming it meant he too had been on the receiving end of the same message, presumably more than once.  “Mamma mia…chi è sul...I mean, who is on the bad step?”

“Naughty step,” corrected Andy automatically with a grin.  “And it’s Jack’s.”

“Ovviamente è sempre lui…”  Carina still didn’t consider Jack a friend of hers, but she no longer got angry at the sight of him, and now he was starting to actually behave like an adult around women, she had admitted to Andy she was glad he was still at Station 19 as he was, she knew, an excellent firefighter even if he did infuriate her girlfriend at times, like turning up to shift with a Santa hat.  “...che cosa?”  She could have sworn....  “Si, la nappa sul cappello di Babbo Natale si è mossa!”  

Putting down the chart, she crossed over to the gurney to look at the hat more closely, not noticing she was still speaking Italian or the panicked look Ben was shooting Andy, fascinated instead by what was causing the tasseled end of the Santa hat to move.   Seeing the little puppy’s head appear over the top of the fluffy trim on the hat, Carina leaned in further and smiled. “Ciao bella…”  She reached out and rubbed the top of the little animal’s head with the tip of her finger, something that the puppy clearly enjoyed as it tried to climb out of the hat to get closer to her, disturbing her sister who had somehow been asleep.  “...oh, there are two…”  She looked up at Andy.  “May I?”

“Sure…”  Andy’s grin got bigger when she saw Carina, rather than scooping up an individual puppy, carefully picked up the hat and, using it like a festive swaddling cloth, cradled both little animals against her chest, instinctively brushing her hair back behind her shoulder just before a curious puppy could start trying to explore it with their gummy mouths.

“We’re so dead…” stage whispered Ben, hitting his Lieutenant lightly on the shoulder to make it clear who the ‘we’ referred to, all the while keeping his eyes on a swivel for his wife.

“Why? We did not mention, show or otherwise make reference to them,” said Andy, quoting Maya’s exact words.  “She found them on her own.”

“Yes, but…”  Before Ben could start to hyperventilate, Carina interrupted him with a question.

“What is their story?”  She didn’t know all that much about dogs, but she’d made a career out of delivering babies and was rather expert in judging newborns.  “They should still be with their Mama no?”

“...every kid should have a stocking!”

“Pru’s still tiny Miller…” joked Maya, knowing she was supposed to say something and, since he was driving the Engine, she preferred not to upset him with her views on Christmas stockings, which she had no childhood memories of, though she was enjoying the traditions associated with La Befana that Carina had introduced her to.  Somehow a woman on a broom sweeping away the past challenges to enable a fresh start to the New Year made more sense to Maya than a big fat man in a red suit, especially when most apartments, and the house she'd grown up in, didn’t have a chimney.  She wasn’t yet entirely sold on the idea of Santa hats as being attractive or sexy, but she was absolutely certain that, should she get to testing that hypothesis, it would be with Carina and no one else.  In a room without candles because she was still a fire captain, obviously.

“Not the point!” protested Dean with good humour, sighing as the lights changed on them, knowing he shouldn’t flick the sirens on so they could go through on the red, though the lack of sirens did mean he heard Maya’s phone ping.

“Andrew?” muttered Maya, surprised and a little concerned to see her message was from her girlfriend’s brother.  “What on…”

“Everything okay Captain?” asked Dean, taking advantage of the stationary traffic to look across at her, trying to work out if it was good or bad news, knowing from snippets of conversation in the last few months that Andrew DeLuca could bring a whole new meaning to the word ‘unpredictable’.  Based on how her frown turned into a smile, he decided it was either good news or Carina related in a positive way, with his hypothetical money on Carina related.

“I’m going to kill her…” muttered Maya, pressing her phone screen a couple of times then shifted her headset so she could make a call.

Had he just lost that hypothetical bet with himself?

Dean had never been so glad of the lights turning green on the busy junction - combined with the suddenly restarted snowfall, he had multiple excuses to not talk to his Captain for the next few minutes…

“Hey Maya, we’re…”  Andy had answered her ringing cell without seeing what the rest of her notifications were, presuming it was a call to see how they were doing at clearing the hospital, which even without the puppies was slow going.  However, she didn’t get a chance to explain.

“What did I expressly say you were absolutely not to do?”

“I, er, we didn’t.”  Looking at Carina in confusion, Andy tried to work out how Maya knew.  “We definitely didn’t tell her or show her the puppies, she found them on her own.”

“Si, I did…” confirmed Carina, not immediately looking up from the puppy who was currently pawing ineffectively at her chest in an attempt to climb high enough to lick her face.  “...wait, how…” Realising the significance of Andy’s phone call at the same moment the Lieutenant did, she looked up puzzled, at first expecting to see her girlfriend smirking in hopefully amused irritation at her, only to see the true culprit.  “...ANDREA!”  She instinctively hummed in apology to the puppies who were whimpering in surprise at her sudden shout, before, in a much quieter but still very clear voice, let rip at her baby brother in a stream of Italian.  “Cosa hai fatto? Sciocchino, col cappello di Babbo Natale...”

“Andrew is wearing the Santa hat?  What about the puppies?” asked Maya, Andy having put her phone on speaker while she tried to work out what was going on and quickly finding the picture that Andrew DeLuca had evidently taken of his sister and immediately sent to Maya, who had in turn sent it to Andy as ‘proof’ she’d caved immediately and shown the puppies to Carina.

“It’s a different Santa hat, the puppies are…”  Andy paused to look at the puppies who, by some weird miracle were, despite the noise she was making as she lectured her baby brother in rapid but quiet Italian, snuggled up against the OB/GYN’s chest, fast asleep again.  “...asleep on Carina.”  She frowned in amazement as she took a picture and sent it to Maya, knowing she could hear the Italian debate through the phone speaker.  “How is that even possible?”

“Oh it’s possible…” sighed Maya, looking at the photo Andy had just sent her, glad once again for the bluetooth earbuds she’d remembered she had in her uniform pockets, meaning she had her headset on but could still see her phone and talk to her best friend.  “...very possible…” she repeated, zooming in on the photo so she could look at the puppies which were clearly asleep, before focussing her attention on her girlfriend in both Andy’s picture and the one from Andrew.  “Where’d she go?” she asked suddenly, aware there was no longer a background accompaniment of animated Italian sibling banter.

“Oh she’s still here, but I took you off speaker,” said Andy quickly, leaning against the wall and watching Carina as she talked to her best friend.  “I promise we didn’t say anything, but she was doing a chart and saw the Santa hat...wanted to know who was on the bad step.”

“Naughty step,” corrected Maya automatically, smiling as she pictured her girlfriend’s curiosity.  “I might have mentioned how much I hate them at work once or twice…”

“...an hour,” teased Andy, not prepared to let her friend’s understatement go past unchallenged, before spotting something else that was tease-worthy.  “And since when do you only hate them at work?”

“Umm…”  Maya could feel her cheeks glowing hot and inwardly cursed her fair colouring before thanking the gods of Seattle road layouts and traffic for ensuring they were at the intersection where no one was ever in the right lane, forcing Miller to have to really concentrate on the road and not her.  “...that is, well, see…”

“Let me guess, your super hot Italian girlfriend wearing one changed your mind?” teased Andy, knowing Maya was sat in the front of the engine next to Dean Miller.  You had to be blind to miss the extent to which Maya was in love with Carina, but living with them for two months solid had given Andy extra insight into their relationship, and for all the teasing about the physical aspects of their love for each other, she was genuinely pleased for both of them and constantly praying that her best friend didn’t screw things up again.    

“Maybe…”  Maya let out another sigh and looked at the picture Andrew had sent her again, a soft smile on her face as she looked at her girlfriend’s expression as she looked at the puppies she was cradling so carefully against her.  “...I mean, she’s not worn it yet.”  

“Are we getting a dog then Captain?” asked Andy quietly, carefully moving even further out of earshot of Carina and Ben, all teasing gone from her tone, picking up on her best friend’s shift.  This was no longer a hypothetical game based on a bit of shift banter and Maya’s determination to not repeat mistakes she’d made already in her relationship with the Italian.  This was her best friend, still ‘dark and messy’ a lot of the time, not taking her light and lovely saint of a girlfriend for granted but also, perhaps, starting to not be quite so broken either.

“It’s up to Carina…” began Maya carefully, lost in thoughts that were racing through her mind at light speed, something that could have been overwhelming if they hadn’t all been full of laughter and smiles and kisses and literal puppy dogs.  “...and do not pressure her Andy.”

“She’d just asked about why we’ve got them - I’ll tell her we’re just looking after them til the shelter can pick them up,” said Andy, having a pretty good idea that the compassionate doctor, who already seemed to be totally smitten with the puppies based on how she was unconsciously scratching their heads as they slept, would not think that was a good enough plan.  “And I’ll get Vic to find out from the shelter whether they’re the sort of dogs that can go running with you before we mention they could come to the station when you’re on shift.”

“What?”  Maya rubbed her nose and tried not to lash out at her friend just because she was confused by the random topic change, which was another destructive defensive behaviour she was, with the help of her therapist, trying to unlearn.

“It would only work if they could be your running buddies Maya, I know you.”

“Yes, but isn’t that all dogs?”  Dogs hadn’t been a feature of her childhood, but Maya was fairly certain she’d had to sit through a seminar on animal handling a few years back that, while distinctly lacking in specific tiger handling advice, had talked about how most domestic pets were starting to struggle with an increasingly sedentary lifestyle and increased risk of obesity just like children.  Just as their physical fitness and training techniques were having to adjust for heavier patients and casualties to rescue, so too were their animal rescues.

“Not the way you run.”  She saw Ben waving at her - Benjy’s admission was completed and the paperwork was done.  “We’re done here, see you back at the station.”  Andy sighed, not sure how she was going to separate Carina from the puppies, only to see another doctor she didn’t recognise approach her, presumably for a consult.

“Yeah…”  Maya was about to say more when their radios went, sending the engine on to another call.

Perhaps their shift wouldn’t be quiet for very much longer.

Chapter Text

“So, Project Puppy…”

“We’re not calling it that Vic,” said Travis quickly, drinking some coffee in an attempt to wake himself up.  It was gone eleven on Christmas Eve night and, despite their tiredness after over thirty hours on shift with barely any calls, they’d not been able to sleep so most had gathered in the Beanery.

“It’s either that or Operation Sweet-talk Carina,” pointed out Vic reasonably, having been caught up on the situation by Andy when they’d been restocking the Engine after getting back from the call they’d been diverted to while the Aid Car was still at Grey Sloan.

“Project Puppy’s good,” decided Travis quickly, seeing her point.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Warren! Relax…” encouraged Vic, rolling her eyes at Andy as she patted the former Doctor on the arm.  “We’re not doing anything.”

“Right…”  Robert Sullivan leaned back in his chair and drank his coffee, mostly trying not to be distracted by his wife’s hand on his leg.  He struggled the most during the quiet times between calls in the strange part of the night when it felt too early for them to try and snatch an hour’s sleep, but too late for him to keep himself busy, with ‘probies’ not having paperwork backlogs like Battalion Chiefs or Captains.  Even when he was Captain he’d struggled to be at ease with the team in the Beanery, so now he was finding it even harder, though for the most part everyone recognised he was trying and worked on meeting him halfway.  “...so we’re not tricking our Captain’s girlfriend into asking our Captain if they can keep one of the puppies so we get a Stationhouse dog?”

“Absolutely not!”  said Ben, his horror at that suggestion all too genuine.

“Noooo….” agreed Vic, shaking her head at the suggestion, with Travis joining her.

“Oh.”  Robert sipped some more of his coffee, his mug hiding his smile as he reached under the table with his other hand and tangled his fingers with Andy’s.  “Shame.  So, what are we doing?” he asked, testing out Andy’s theory that his Battalion Chief’s ‘I’m listening’ face would now work as an excellent poker face for teasing the team.

“Helping our Captain’s girlfriend see that it’s a good idea to ask our Captain if they can keep both the puppies so we get the two cutest dogs in the Department?” suggested Vic eventually, reading Andy’s expression well enough to realise he was teasing them and going with it, earning her a mouthed ‘thank you’ from her Lieutenant and friend.  “Which is totally different.”

“Totally,” echoed Travis, earning him an elbow in the ribs from Vic.  “What?”

“Dude? Get your own lines.”

“Sorry.”

“So what’s the plan?” Wait, they’re not Belgian Malinois are they?” he asked, remembering the impressive but fierce looking and sounding dogs they’d had in the Marines, not really believing their handlers’ claims they were ‘big softies on the inside’.

“I texted the other shifts and no one’s got any allergies or issues, they all love the idea,” said Vic promptly, having taken her role as ‘project puppy point person’ seriously, including ‘poop duty’.  “And the shelter people think, from the photos I sent them, that they’re maybe something called a Spanador…”  She passed around her phone, showing them the pictures of the adult dogs which were a cross between a Spaniel and a Labrador.  “...or at least some mixture of spaniel and labrador that’s been abandoned.”

“How do they figure that?” asked Ben, seeing similarity between the face and ear shapes to understand the spaniel and labrador suggestion, liking the fact that they didn’t look remotely like Eisenhower, the dog he and Sullivan had had to cope with as an ‘observer’ during the blizzard when they were sorting out the dog’s owner’s foot.  “That they’re abandoned not street dogs?”

“Same way we tell the difference with babies,” said Vic, knowing they all knew that one of the easiest ways of working out if an abandoned baby had been born under medical supervision of some sort or not was by looking at their stomachs, as how the umbilical cord was or wasn’t dealt with was usually obvious for a the first little while after birth.  “And they think the Mom was a healthy dog based on their size and stuff.”  She’d been asked to send the shelter guy all sorts of pictures of their tails and teeth and the like, something she’d have probably resisted if both he and the puppies weren’t so sweet, though it being Christmas Eve also helped.

“So spaniel and labrador?  They’re both really active dogs aren’t they?” asked Andy, looking to Robert for confirmation, trying to remember why she was so certain he would know.

“Yes.  The department’s search and rescue dogs are spaniels I think.”

“Those guys are crazy energetic,” agreed Travis, remembering crossing paths with the unit a while back, starting to have doubts.  “Isn’t that kinda mean then?”

“Mean how?”

“Well, aren’t they going to have to spend most of shift in the Captain’s office or up here?  I mean, they can’t come on calls with us…”  To Travis, that didn’t seem like a fair existence for the energetic dogs he’d seen on the rescue squad.

“This is Maya we’re talking about,” pointed out Andy, sharing a look of understanding with Vic - while the rest of the team knew from the times on the Stationhouse gym leaderboard and the freaking Olympic Gold Medal in her office that Maya Bishop was a good, great runner, it wasn’t until you’d lived with her that you really understood quite how far and how fast she ran each day.  “If the dogs couldn’t spend the shift in the Stationhouse she’d probably run their legs off.”

“Yeah, we don’t need to worry about their exercise, the guy said the main thing to think about was stimulation and fuss.”

“Okay, so they sleep in the Captain’s office, get fuss up here from all of us…”  Travis was liking this plan.  “But what about when we’re off shift?”  Try as he might, he couldn’t picture Maya fussing and playing with the dogs when they were off shift.

“You didn’t see her at the hospital…” said Ben, sharing a look with Andy who nodded, pulling out her phone to show them the two pictures they had of Carina with the puppies.

“They possibly love her even more than Bishop does.”  Andy also had a hunch that, given the privacy of her own space and the limited audience of her girlfriend, Maya would excel at the stimulation and fuss side of dog ownership too.

“What about Gibson and Miller?” asked Travis, presuming that Emmett’s views had already been sought out since he was downstairs manning the desk, which on Christmas Eve night was a unique mix of visitors that always managed to reset the emotional centre of even the most jaded and cynical veteran firefighter or green new one.  Gibson and Miller however, were both working this shift, though had been given permission by Bishop to take a break for a couple of hours as long as they had their kit and radios with them.

“Jack’s already given me a list of toys he thinks they should have, most of which are bigger than the puppies, and said something about it being a good way of helping Marcus to get used to dogs in case he gets a chance to get a hearing assistance dog.”  Jack was currently at Marsha’s house, ‘being’ Santa Claus (only without the hat, since the puppies had claimed it as their own) and helping Inara put Marcus’ Christmas presents under the tree.

“Miller just told me to make sure that they were a type of dog that wouldn’t attack Pru,” explained Ben, having spoken to the other firefighter as he was washing down the engine before dashing back to the houseboat to also ‘be’ Santa, despite the little girl being far too young to know what was happening.  “Oh, and banned them from the houseboat until they were toilet trained.  Or wearing diapers.”

“Anything else Vic?” asked Andy, not wanting to presume that they’d managed to sort everything out already, everything apart from the obvious fundamental key point of persuading Maya she wanted to be a Captain of a Stationhouse that had two dogs, or Carina that her girlfriend’s Stationhouse family and therefore Carina’s home life would now include two dogs.

“Is it really that simple? With the department I mean?” Although she didn’t ask Sullivan directly, it was obvious to everyone that he was probably the only one who could answer with anything remotely based on fact and actual knowledge, as the only other person who would know would be Maya herself, since she seemed to have memorised the entire protocol and procedures library a while back.

“There’s some paperwork, and I think some extra inspections for animal welfare…”  Robert wracked his brain for anything else he could remember overhearing, not having had any Stationhouses with dogs in his direct command ever.  “23’s Captain might know, think they still have a cat…”

“Can’t be that much if Station 7 have a dog,” said Andy, suddenly remembering something her father had once said.  Feeling everyone looking at her, she squeezed her husband’s hand and spoke to the salt grinder on the middle of the table, rather than risk making eye contact with her friends.  “I remember their Captain from when I was a kid...he was at 19 as a new Lieutenant and his paperwork…”  Andy smiled at the memory.  “I think it was worse than Jack’s based on how Dad’s friends complained.”

“Santosa’s a good Captain,” said Robert quietly, not entirely comfortable with one of his former peers being spoken about like that.

“One of the best,” agreed Andy, squeezing his hand again, realising he’d not quite understood her point.  “But as a new Lieutenant his paperwork was really bad, and when he adopted Cleo…”  She did a quick bit of mental arithmetic based on what she thought she could remember about when the grapevine had told them all about the arrival of the dog in at the station.  “...can’t have been Captain for more than a month, and I think his first month as Captain was probably more like his first month as a Lieutenant than how he is as Captain today.”

“Bishop’s paperwork is perfect,” said Travis, remembering with horror the time or two he’d ended up having to lead the shift for a time and the mess he’d got himself into with the paperwork.  “Hear that puppies?” he asked, reaching forwards and giving the sleeping puppies a careful stroke, not wanting to wake them up.  They were still curled up together in the Santa hat which it was now sitting inside the makeshift bed they’d made out of some blankets for the bunks and a grocery box they’d found in the Beanery, though the Santa hat was still what the puppies were actually curled up together in.  “You’re going to be joining Station 19…”

“Not necessarily…” cautioned Ben, still nervous about what Miranda’s reaction was going to be when she saw him, certain that someone would tell her he’d taken puppies into Grey Sloan.

“Yes they are,” said Andy confidently, deciding she needed more coffee and going to investigate the pot, which was empty.  “She’s in love.”

“Who, Carina?” asked Ben, thinking back to when the doctor had met the puppies, although he asked at the same time as Travis asked if she meant Maya.

“Yes.”

“Yes who?” asked Vic, thinking Andy hadn’t realised Ben and Travis had each named someone different since she was making the coffee.

“Both of them.”

Chapter Text

“Not now…” began Maya, reacting to the sound of her rarely closed office door being opened before she’d managed to lift up her head, only to change tack immediately when she saw who was disturbing her moment’s attempt at peace.  “Are you really here?”  She rubbed her eyes, pushing her hair back off her face and tucking it behind her ears as she stood up.  “Or was the stew spiked with eggnog?”

“Si…”  Carina, making sure Maya’s office door was firmly shut behind her, met her girlfriend halfway across the office and caught hold of her uniform belt, pulling their hips together.  “Buon Natale bella,” she murmured, letting her bag drop to the floor with more carelessness than she probably should as she felt Maya’s hands sink into her hair and hold her head tantalisingly close but just too far apart for her to kiss her.  “Baciami bella…” she whispered, still not noticing she wasn’t speaking in English.  Fortunately however, that was Italian her girlfriend did understand, and was delighted to comply with.

A few minutes later Maya was leaning against her desk, her arms wrapped loosely around her girlfriend’s slender hips as Carina slowly refastened the dark blue uniform shirt buttons that she’d managed to undo during their kiss.  With the overhead office light turned off, the room was as close to softly lit as it was possible to get, with the only sources of illumination coming from the light that was spilling out through the open door to the Captain’s bunk, Maya’s desk lamp and the light that filtered in through the slatted blinds.  It wasn’t candles and firelight, or even romantic, but it did somehow manage to help lend an intimacy in the late night quiet.

“Buon Natale bella,” repeated Carina quietly, abandoning her button fastening plan in favour for just playing with the penultimate button as she traced the textures of her Captain’s silver badge with a fingertip.

“Already?” Maya dragged her eyes away from her girlfriend’s to glance at the clock, confirming what she could have logically worked out from Carina’s presence if she’d thought about it - it was just before 1am on Christmas Day morning.  “Happy Christmas…”  Smiling, Maya leaned in again and softly, carefully brought her lips to Carina’s, once more marvelling at how wonderful their kisses were even when as simple as lips pressed together for a moment.  She’d never felt that with anyone else ever, but being with Carina, loving Carina, was teaching her so much about so many things, starting with love and affection.  It didn’t matter if their lips touched for a moment or an hour: when Maya felt the soft brush of her girlfriend’s lips against hers, everything - her lungs, her heart, her brain and time itself just stopped, all irrelevant compared to memorising the feeling of those wonderful lips on hers.

“You feel tired,” said Carina quietly, her brain now fully locked into thinking and speaking in English as she subconsciously noticed all of the near invisible signs and hints she could read in Maya.

“So do you.”  Maya ran her hands up Carina’s back, feeling the tired doctor’s weight shift into her arms as she responded to the touch, picking up on the little ways her girlfriend moved that told her she’d spent a long time standing over patients.  “How many babies?”

“Seven mammas with eleven bambini…”  Carina smiled when she saw Maya’s eyes widen at the numbers.  “Si, it is a busy nursery tonight.  And many tired papas and paramediche.”  

“Oh?”  Maya hadn’t yet heard the births hit the SFD grapevine, but paramedics having to deliver babies was one of the stories that did whizz through the department at lightning speed, especially if the parents then decided to name the baby in part after their rescuer.  “We’ve not had one yet…”

“No, you have had the perso piccoli cuccioli di fuoco…”

“Umm…”  Frowning, Maya tried to untangle her girlfriend’s Italian, recognising a couple of words but finding that only confused her.  “...little fires?”  Aside from the dumpster, they’d not had any other fires this shift yet, and she wasn’t sure how to connect a dumpster fire with Carina’s deliveries.  “Would I know it if you sang it?” she teased, thinking it sounded like something that should be a Christmas carol.

“Che cosa?”  Carina had stopped paying full attention to what language she was speaking in when Maya had started massaging her tired upper back muscles as she held her, so it took her a moment to work out what she had actually said in Italian, and what the useful translation would be.  “Ah, si, perso piccoli cuccioli di fuoco… you have the lost little fire puppies.”  She kissed the end of Maya’s nose, her head dropping to one side as she then leaned forwards and began to trail kisses down her jaw, her hair tickling her girlfriend’s chin.  “Only you.”

“Car…”  Maya was finding it difficult to finish that thought given where she was now hoping her girlfriend’s lips might be going, her feet trying to get the rest of her body to remember that there was a perfectly private, almost comfortable bunk a few short steps to the left, her body however sluggish from the slowness of the already long shift.

“Why?”  Carina however was finding, as she frequently did, that her girlfriend was having a rejuvenating effect on her energy levels - there was something about the confident strength that continually radiated from the firefighter.

“What?”  The loss of Carina’s lips from her skin kickstarted Maya’s brain again, but she’d lost the thread completely.

“The puppies…”  Carina studied Maya’s eyes, waiting for the sign that she was focused on the right topic before she continued.  “What is their story?  What will happen to them?  Andy started to tell me at the hospital but then Andrea took that picture and a consult...”

Engine Nineteen… Ladder Nineteen…

The blaring alarms shattered any quiet that might have crept into the Stationhouse, while the overhead lights automatically turning on to full brightness ensured no one would remain in any doubt that now was no longer a time for sleeping.

“Stay?” asked Maya quickly, even as she was moving around her office grabbing her phone from where it was charging on her desk and the tablet from its charging cradle on the side.

“Si Bellissima.”  Although she wasn’t moving slowly, as Carina followed Maya to the door through to the barn space, watching her girlfriend’s team pour out of wherever they had been tucked away was making her feel like she was moving at half speed.  Somehow, while she’d been at the Stationhouse before when the alarms had sounded, she’d never actually seen the transition the team made from being relaxed, asleep even, and gone.  It was...exhausting and amazing, and made her an incredibly proud girlfriend.

“Carina, hi!”  Andy finished pulling her hair into a ponytail and continued into a rather satisfying upper body stretch.  She’d been asleep in the bunks when the alarms had sounded, and already too awake to roll over and go back to sleep when she’d registered the Aid Car wasn’t needed.

“You didn’t go?”  Carina was quite relieved to see her temporary housemate still here - she’d immediately agreed to Maya’s unusual request to stay, but aside from the Spaghetti dinner fundraiser day that she preferred not to think about for many, many reasons, she’d not actually spent all that much time at Station 19 without Maya, and the little she had spent she’d been in Maya’s office.  “Ciao Ben.”

“Carina!”  Ben Warren’s head appeared with a ‘pop’ through the neck of his t-shirt, like Andy he’d become too awake to get some more sleep, so had thought he’d head to the Beanery for something to drink, stopping by his locker for a clean uniform t-shirt once his watch told him they’d made it to Christmas Day.  “I…”  He pulled his t-shirt down, suddenly bashful and nervous, reminding Carina of the day she’d been pulled into a consult when he was on the Peds Service and she had the hospital nickname of ‘Dr Orgasm’.

“Buon Natale Ben, Feliz Navidad Andy.”

“Grazie.”  Andy grinned at Carina’s small nod that told her she was getting her pronunciation right now.  

When she’d first moved in, full time, with Maya and Carina, she’d found Carina’s habit of talking to herself in Italian infectious, only for her it was Spanish.  The first time she and Carina had been in the apartment together for more than a few minutes without Maya to act as a buffer, they’d actually used their mutual interest in the other’s non-English language as a means of developing their own friendship, which quickly evolved into Andy learning Italian from Carina and Carina’s limited, very formal, very European Spanish being dusted off and evolving into much more conversational, and useful Spanish.  

That it also drove Maya mad, in the best way possible, to see her girlfriend and best friend becoming such good friends while also learning their respective languages, was an added bonus: despite all her determination to learn Italian, learning languages and losing her very American accent were not on her strengths list.

“Aid Car wasn’t needed for that call.”  Andy opened the Aid Car door and reached in for the vehicle’s tablet, automatically checking its charge level as she looked up the details of the call.  “They’ve gone to provide assistance to Station 23’s Aid Car because…”  Andy scrolled through the call list to try and work out why Station 23 hadn’t been able to assist their own Aid Car.  “...ah, their Engine was already on a call and requested the ladder.”  She passed the tablet to Ben for him to catch himself up in more detail than her update to Carina provided.  “You staying?”

“Si, if that’s okay?”  Logically, Carina knew that Maya asking her to stay was good enough - the Captain’s permission was all that was needed to stay in the Captain’s office after all, but she still didn’t feel comfortable assuming that then translated to her having the automatic run of the Stationhouse.

“Of course!”  Andy made a mental note that she needed to talk to Maya at some point about whether she had explained to Carina what being ‘the Captain’s partner’ meant, knowing that she would probably have to start by explaining it to her best friend.  “You want to help me check on the puppies?”  She glanced at her watch, thinking that it was probably time to see if they were hungry again.  Not knowing exactly how old they were had made it harder for the Shelter to give them very detailed advice on feeding regimes, but their suggestion of regularly making alternating small amounts of puppy formula and the puppy version of what Pru had moved onto after formula seemed to be working.

“Si, certo.”  Carina decided her bag was alright in Maya’s office so started to follow Andy upstairs, not sure where they were going.  “Will you finish telling me what is their story?”

Chapter Text

“Good work guys,” called out Maya as the shutters closed, everyone immediately starting to restock the trucks so they were ready for the next call.  “Nice rope work Probie.”

“Thanks Cap.”

“Can we call him Cowboy?” teased Montgomery, his voice echoing around the barn as he began to sort out the hoses.

“No,” declared Maya firmly, though her face showed she was as amused as the rest of the team was at the suggestion.  

It had been a strange call, supporting the other station’s Aid Car by securing the property after they’d stablised the owner ready for transfer to hospital.  It wasn’t quite a tiger in the suburbs, but it was rather closer to a small farm than they were expecting, with animals everywhere.  Just when they’d all been resigned to it being a lot of running in mud trying to catch the animals, Robert Sullivan had volunteered to see what he remembered of his time in Montana, where amongst other, less pleasant things, he’d also learned a thing or two about horse riding and lassoing.

Stowing her gear and putting her uniform boots back on, Maya headed to her office to log the scene report, the Aid Car still at the Station giving her the opportunity to hopefully also catch Andy before the rest of the team so she could show her the pictures she’d managed to take of Robert ‘Cowboy’ Sullivan.  Seeing her girlfriend’s bag still in the middle of her office floor but no sign of her girlfriend, Maya dumped the tablet in the docking station, never more glad of her ability to do her scene reports in the front of the engine while they were driving back to the station. After putting Carina’s bag on the chair, she went to search for her girlfriend and best friend - her shower could wait.

“Have you se…”

“SSSHHH!”

Maya’s eyebrows almost hovered above her head when Emmett Dixon interrupted and shushed her as she walked into the Beanery.

“Sorry Captain,” he continued, whispering clearly but quietly as he gestured to the far end of the table that she’d not been able to see when she’d started talking to him.  “But they’re asleep…” he added, then made a deliberate turn back to the pot on the stove.

“Who’s asl…”  Maya was now far enough in the room to see.  “...oh.”  

At the far end of the table, Carina was asleep in one of the not very comfortable Beanery chairs, the Santa hat carefully held against her chest, two little heads peeking out of it and…  “Are they snoring?” she asked Emmett quietly, pulling out her phone and taking some pictures quickly.  “The puppies I mean?” she clarified, knowing that what she could hear definitely didn’t sound like the little noises her girlfriend occasionally made, though she wasn’t going to admit that to her most inexperienced firefighter.  She also knew what Andy’s snoring sounded like - catching sleep in the bunks meant you quickly learned to ignore everyone else’s snoring while also learning not to snore too loudly yourself.

“Yes.”  Emmett looked up at the sleeping Lieutenant and Doctor.  “I came back from Mrs Fenmain’s and they were finishing up feeding them.”  

He’d done an ‘emergency’ visit to the old lady who lived around the corner from the Station and changed the staircase lightbulb for her - not exactly a 911 situation, but she looked after her disabled grandson and they all knew he was terrified of the dark, so tried to help them out with little things when they could.  They all understood that changing the lightbulb the moment she’d discovered it wasn’t working anymore was better for everyone than having to attend a 911 call out when her grandson got up in the night and the light wasn’t on and then panicked.  She was also one of the finest bakers in the neighbourhood and insisted on dropping off cakes and cookies for them ‘just because’, which also didn’t hurt.  Since Andy could remember Mrs Fenmain’s cookies being eaten by the firefighters of Station 19 since she’d been a child, it was also one of those Station 19 traditions that no Captain wanted to end on their watch.  

“The Doctor is their favourite.”

“Oh?”  When Maya had last looked in on the team feeding the puppies, not long after they’d all been back at the Stationhouse after one of their earlier calls, the puppies seemed to consider any warm human wearing something soft their ‘favourite’, but only after there wasn’t any food to eat.

“Liked her more than food,” said Emmett simply, going back to stirring the pot, which now Maya thought about that, seemed to be smelling delicious and rather familiar.

“Is that…?”

“Minestrone Soup? Yes Captain.”  He stepped aside so the Captain could look in the pot.  “Dr DeLuca’s idea when she saw the state of our food.”

“I can imagine…” said Maya, amused, all too easily able to picture Carina’s very Italian despair at the state of their fresh vegetables, which owing to a bad run of calls earlier in the week, were no longer very fresh and in danger of going to waste.  “...good job Probie.”

“I…”  He looked at her in amazement - how had she known he’d done the cooking to Dr DeLuca’s instructions, rather than the Doctor doing the cooking?

“The carrots.”  Maya nodded towards the scraps of peel and roots that hadn’t made it into the pot.  Carina, unsurprisingly considering she’d been cooking Italian food since childhood and had years of surgical training and experience too, was incredibly precise with a knife in the kitchen.  Emmett was one of the better cooks on the team based on the taste of what he produced when it was his turn, certainly better than Maya, but in a very different class to Carina when it came to both cooking and knife wielding.

“Ma...ya?”  

Despite speaking quietly to Emmett, Carina’s subconscious was very attuned to her girlfriend’s voice, so was starting to wake up.

“Hi.”  

“Mamma mia…” groaned Carina, her nose wrinkling when she picked up the strange smell on her girlfriend’s uniform as she approached, though as unpleasant as it was, it was nothing compared to the stiffness of her neck.  “...Ahiaaaa…”  Her quiet groan of pain quickly shifted into a still quiet, but not completely silent moan of relief when she felt Maya’s fingers digging into the stiff muscles of her shoulders and neck, the Captain’s familiarity with the knots meaning she knew exactly where to push, her hands strong from gripping hoses and the like making it easy for her to apply enough firm pressure to provide fast relief and stop the headache before it fully arrived.

“Get a room…” mumbled a still mostly asleep Andy, finding it hard to stay asleep now her pillow (Carina’s upper arm) was starting to move, but recognising the sound Carina was making and knowing it meant Maya was somehow touching Carina.  “Ow!”

“Good morning Lieutenant! ” said Maya brightly, nonchalantly resuming her massaging of Carina’s shoulders after delivering a friendly flick to the side of her best friend’s head.  She wasn’t over concerned about being affectionate with Carina in front of Probie-proper (as opposed to Sullivan, who was Probie in the sense of being at the bottom of the ladder within the team hierarchy, but wasn’t a probie in the sense of needing to be taught what the job entailed), but she did have a strong preference for Andy to not overshare what life ‘at home’ was like.

“I fell asleep?” asked Andy, properly awake and stretching, not bearing a grudge against Maya as she did feel mortified at falling asleep on Carina.

“Si, we all did.”  Carina was very, very slow to come to full wakefulness if it was her alarm clock waking her up in the morning, but years as a doctor meant waking from any other type of nap or short sleep saw her rivalling firefighters in her ability to assess the situation in the moments after being woken.  “Including these perso piccoli cuccioli,” she said, instinctively glancing down to check she hadn’t squashed the puppies in her sleep, giving their soft furry heads a little rub with her fingertip.   “But then Maya came back.”  The ‘and woke me up’ was not said, but Andy and Maya ‘heard’ it.  “And you smell strange.”  Carina’s muscles were responding so effectively to her girlfriend’s ministrations that the tension headache she would have otherwise had was fading, and no longer sufficient distraction from the very antiseptic aroma radiating from Maya’s uniform that didn’t smell like anything Carina had smelt before, prompting Andy to sniff loudly.

“Better that than manure,” said Andy, recognising the smell as the pungent disinfectant they carried on the engines for whenever they had to go into areas where they were working amongst animal muck.

“Cosa?”

“Er… cacca di pecora?” suggested Andy, not knowing what the Italian for manure might be, but her Italian vocabulary for farmyard animals was rather well developed, being surprisingly useful given the variety of cheese now a permanent feature in the Maya and Carina household.

“You were with sheep?”  Carina didn't mind sheep, the opposite in fact as they reminded her of Sicily.  But she was not a fan of their cacca.

“Horses, goats and chickens, we had to help secure the property.”  Maya passed her phone to Andy so she could see the picture of Robert she’d managed to take.  “Expect a few cowboy jokes…” she added as she leaned in to try and sneak a kiss from Carina.

“Doccia!”  Carina however, really didn’t like the strong chemical smell, especially now she knew where it meant Maya had been, and swerved out of range of Maya as she also put the puppies into their makeshift bed that was on the table.  She was definitely not kissing Maya until she’d had a shower and made that smell go away.

“You woke them…” teased Maya, knowing she’d been perhaps pushing her luck, but indescribably happy that her girlfriend seemed to be so relaxed in the station.

“They won't mind, she’s their favourite now,” said Andy without looking up from Maya’s phone, where she was quickly sending the pictures of Robert onto herself.

“Huh?”  Maya hadn’t paid that much attention to it when Emmett had said as much, but hearing it again from Andy made her pay a bit more attention.

“It is the same as the bambine,” shrugged Carina, stretching her arms and giving them a bit of a shake to ease the stiffness from holding the little puppies for so long, not taking it seriously. Tiny newborns seemed to always settle when she held them, which she’d long ago recognised was entirely because she wasn’t ever nervous or tense as she’d done it literally hundreds if not thousands of times before.  In contrast, even experienced non-OB doctors seemed to have a moment of anxiety when they realised they were holding a very new newborn.  “Maya!”  She pushed her girlfriend away again, finding the Captain’s aroma even more powerful now she didn’t have the smell of puppy immediately under her nose.  “You’re going to upset the zuppa, fai la doccia per favore?”

“Okay, I’m going…”  Maya took her phone back from Andy, which was the main reason she’d not immediately gone to the showers after Carina had asked her to.  “...you staying here?”

“Si.”  Carina nodded towards Emmett.  “To finish the minestrone.”  She yawned.  “Then I must go sleep.”  She’d only really meant to come by the station to wish her girlfriend Buon Natale if she was there, before going home to try to get some sleep while Maya’s longer shift continued until later in the day.  “Though I am now on call.”  She pulled an expressive face.  “Do not ask.”

“I won’t then,” agreed Maya easily, knowing that was the face Carina usually pulled when she was bored with some hospital drama that didn’t matter in ‘the real world’ but had taken far more energy and time to deal with inside the world that was Grey-Sloan and she really wanted to forget about now she was free.  “Back in a few.”

“Dr DeLuca?”

Chapter Text

“Dr DeLuca?”

“Si Emmett?”  

She refused to call him ‘Probie’ and he politely refused to call her Carina like Andy did, so they’d compromised.  If she was a little slow in responding to his calling of her name because she was admiring her girlfriend’s rear profile in her uniform, she was confident he would think it was tiredness - the sweet, shy, nervous ones always did.  Then again, they all knew she was Maya’s girlfriend, and Mamma Mia….the one upside of the numero ridicolo di chilometri her girlfriend ran each week as well as everything else she did meant it was a very, very fine rear view, even in trousers that had been cut by a boy who had never seen a woman.

“What next?”

“Is it…”  Carina yawned as she stood up, “...brown?”

“Yes.”  He stepped aside so she could look in the pot once she joined him by the stove, but she refused his offer of the spoon.

“Puppy does not go in zuppa,” she pointed out kindly, approving of his progress as she carried onto the sink to give her hands a good wash.

“Who’s putting puppies in soup? Probie!”  Travis indulged his flair for the dramatic as he came into the Beanery, first out of the shower.

“Funny,” said Andy, coming to join Travis at the counter before realising Carina was right - their hands were covered in the smell of puppy and would benefit from a thorough wash.  “It smells amazing though.”

“Yeah…”  Travis leaned into Emmett’s personal space to inspect the concoction.  “Where did the ingredients come from?”

“The fridge.”

“But…”  Travis remembered the rather sorry looking assortment of ‘fresh’ vegetables that had been lingering in the bottom of the fridge, no one feeling sufficiently inspired about how to do anything with them.  

“It is just minestrone Montgomery,” said Carina dismissively, her hands now clean and dry she returned to the counter and, picking up the one knife she’d declared to be acceptable earlier, set about reducing the first of the two zucchini she’d found in the fridge into the right sized pieces at an impressively fast speed.

“That was…”

“She’s a surgeon remember?” said Andy, laughing at his shocked expression.

“Yes, but…”

“I was cooking this since I was six.”  She tipped the zucchini into the pot and smiled in approval when Emmett immediately started to resume his careful stirring.  Minestrone, she’d explained, was not something that usually required dedicated stirring unlike a classic risotto, but the rather elderly nature of their vegetables and the thinness of their cooking pot meant it needed better attention than usual.  “Zucchini do not squirm.”

“Squirm?”

“Si...muoversi?”  She picked up a piece of carrot peel and demonstrated that she meant it moving about under the knife while chopping.

“Oh, yeah.”  He looked at Andy, not as familiar with Carina and her tendency to reach for the wrong word sometimes, not sure how he was supposed to progress the conversation.

“Wiggle.”

“Grazie Andy, they do not wiggle when you chop, so I have had plenty of time to get fast.  Le zucchine..."  She reduced the second one into similarly neat and precise small pieces.  "...non si muovono!” Pointing at them with the point of the knife, she continued with her instruction. “That size, in that…” She rearranged the line of washed and trimmed pieces of various vegetables that she’d deemed edible into the order that they cooked in.  “...order.  Chop, stir, brown, chop per favore?”

“Yes Dr DeLuca.”

“I’ll help,” said Travis quickly, liking the idea of the soup and liking the idea of spending some time with Emmett.  “Shut up Herrera.”

“What?”  Andy held her hands up, a broad grin on her face that only made the two guys blush.  “Coffee Carina?”

“Si per favore.”  It was really far too late to be drinking coffee under normal circumstances, but if she was going to hopefully spend a few minutes with Maya after she’d showered before then going home, the caffeine would have done its job and kept her awake when she needed the boost, then mostly worked through her system when she then wanted to sleep.

“How are the puppies?” asked Travis, wanting to change the subject before the rest of the team arrived after their showers, or Carina put two and two together about what Andy might have been about to say.

“Asleep.”  Andy turned on the coffee pot.  “And very cute.”

“It was a shame the hospital does not allow us to have dogs in our offices…” said Carina suddenly, leaning against the counter and watching the slightly feistier puppy climb on her sister’s head in her sleep, finding the position she’d settled in when Carina had moved them into the bed-box wasn’t quite doing it for her.  

“Is that a thing?” asked Andy after a long pause, during which she and Travis had been frantically gesturing at each other as they tried to work out how to take advantage of the conversational opening Carina didn’t realise she was creating, but without doing so in a way that Maya might think was them pressuring the doctor into agreeing so the Station could keep the puppies.

“Cosa?”

“Dogs being in hospitals.”

“Not with the patients, no.”  Carina tucked her hair behind her ear and turned away from the puppies to talk properly to Andy.  “But my Professor had his dogs in his office at the hospital, my father also, when Andrea was little.”

“Her brother,” said Andy quietly, not wanting Travis to ask how she’d known Carina when she was little, not even as a joke. 

“When I joined the hospital it was for research only.  I was not working shifts so found this place…”  She picked up the sheet of paper that Vic had printed out earlier, from the Shelter’s website, finally remembering why the logo had seemed so familiar when she’d first seen it.  “...but then I was asked to see patients and…”  She shrugged, preferring not to go into the full extent of details about why she’d never managed to follow through on her original thought about adopting a dog.  “It was for the better I did not have a dog then.”  She looked back up at Andy, seeing that Vic and Ben had also arrived, smiling at her former colleague and Vic.

“It’s definitely not allowed here?” asked Andy, for the moment forgetting about how this was potentially the moment they’d hoped for to raise adopting the puppies with Carina, finding the insight into the Italian’s life before Seattle and life in Seattle before Maya fascinating.

“I was already known as ‘Dr Orgasm’, I did not want to be known as ‘crazy puppy woman’ also so I did not ask.”

“You’re joking.”  Vic was certain she must still have soap in her ears, because it sounded like Carina had just said ‘orgasm’.

“She’s not,” said Ben, not sure what they were talking about, but able to confirm what Carina’s original hospital nickname had been.  “I didn’t think you knew?”

“About the nickname? Si.”  Seeing everyone except Ben and Andy were looking like they didn’t know where to look, she sighed.  “Gli Americani sono così pudici…” then switched to English, not noticing that now everyone from the team except Maya was in earshot and listening closely.  “You are all paramediche, so you know what natural oxytocin is. My research was about the effect it has on the female brain.”

“And natural oxytocin is…”  Emmett was still getting to grips with all the paramedic knowledge, and so not catching up with Carina’s point as fast as the others were, having been distracted by immediately thinking about drug side effects of prescription ‘oxy’ as she was speaking.

“...a hormone released during labour and other emotional moments,” said Ben, unable to pass up the opportunity to educate, despite the flashbacks he was having to when he’d been the one in Emmett’s position and missing Carina’s point.

“But…”

“For god’s sake Probie!” said Vic, suddenly connecting the dots and remembering something Jackson’s friends had said.  “She was called Dr Orgasm because men couldn’t cope with the thought of women masturbating in a MRI!”

“Oh.”  His swallow was audible, which would have been amusing were it not for how red Travis and Jack were while Miller and Sullivan were trying to just leave before they were spotted, suddenly rather keen it seemed to do a full workout in the uniforms.

“Men!” said Vic, deciding they were all useless.  “What’s that got to do with ‘crazy puppy woman’ though?  And your food smells amazing!”

“I did not want to also be called that, so I did not ask Dr Bailey if I was allowed a dog in my office.”

“I can’t see Bailey agreeing to that,” said Vic, seeing the coffee had finished brewing and starting to pour herself a mug, only to be joined by Andy, who knew that if she didn’t pour out mugs for herself and Carina now while it was fresh, she’d probably not get a look in on the pot she’d made.

“She wouldn’t.  I mean…”  Ben’s enthusiasm to no longer be thinking about Carina’s research meant he’d made his wife sound like a hater of cute puppies.  “...she likes dogs, but there’s no way the hospital rules could allow that.”

“Which is why I never asked her when I was just doing research.  Then I started seeing patients and it was a good thing I had no dog,” explained Carina, finally able to finish her original thought.  “Grazie Andy.”  She took the mug of coffee from her, sniffing tentatively, only now remembering that station coffee was probably nearer to hospital coffee than something she’d actually find drinkable.  “These are the first American puppies I have met.”

“What’s with this shift and animals anyway?” asked Andy, deciding that it was best to change the subject away from the puppies before someone was stupid and asked Carina to ask Maya to adopt the puppies, knowing that was exactly how not to go about it.

“There have been rather a lot…” agreed Vic, amused that the male firefighters still seemed rather tongue-tied in Carina’s presence now her research had been explained.  “...isn’t it supposed to be babies at Christmas?”

“Mamma mia!”  Carina was not impressed with Vic mentioning babies.  “Non gufare, vorrei dormire qualche volta, per piacere...”  

She took a sip of the coffee Andy had made to try help her not say something that was ruder than just bemoaning Vic for tempting fate when she’d been wanting to get some sleep later, only for her cell phone to start ringing.  

“Accidenti Vic…”  She looked to see who was calling her and groaned when she saw it was Grey-Sloan.  “Pensavo che i vigili del fuoco fossero superstiziosi?”

Chapter Text

“What’d you do?” asked Maya, who’d just finished buckling her belt when she’d heard her girlfriend swearing at her friend, so picked up the pace and arrived in the Beanery almost at a jog, her hair still wet enough to be dripping onto her otherwise clean uniform shirt.

“Jinx her.” said Andy, who’d paid enough attention to the rapid stream of Italian to recognise it as similar to something she’d heard Carina say before in the apartment.  “Didn’t she say she was on call?”

“Yes…”  Maya kept one eye on her girlfriend, wondering if she was about to have to go and deal with baby number 12, but was also conscious that there was a...careful formality about how the team were behaving.  “What did I miss?”  

When Travis and Emmett immediately started concentrating on the most careful stirring ever, and the rest of the guys seemed to be trying to look anywhere except their female colleagues or her girlfriend, Maya hoped Andy or Vic could explain before she had to start asking questions without somehow taking sides between her team and her girlfriend.

“Carina had thought about getting a dog when she first came to Seattle to do her research, but her instinct told her it wouldn’t go down well with the hospital given she was finding Americans a bit prudish,” summarised Andy, familiar with the ‘Dr Orgasm’ story from when Carina had told her it one night a couple of months back.

“Dr Orgasm?” guessed Maya, not knowing about the dog part of the story, but very aware of the nickname from both Carina and the stories she’d heard when she’d joined Carina and some of her hospital friends for a drink at Joe’s.

“Yeah.”

“Their brains all stalled,” added Vic, gesturing to the guys.  “And I didn’t mean to jinx her,” said Vic sadly, worried she’d properly upset the doctor - jinxing was a serious offence on shift and she was kicking herself for forgetting it would apply to the doctor too.  “I didn’t know she was on call.”

“She’s already delivered eleven babies on her shift,” explained Maya, realising she’d not managed to find out if Carina had a busy shift with other patients too.  “No idea how many other patients or surgeries.”

“Eleven?”  

Maya had to try quite hard to keep her expression ‘Captain Bishop’-ish, and not smirk or chuckle, but it was so obvious that everyone had the same thought - she could practically see them all with a cartoon-style bubble above their heads reading ‘wow, that’s a lot of vagina’.

“Triplets in 42’s Aid Car,” said Ben suddenly, rejoining the conversation, surprised when, in trying to extricate himself from the ‘Dr Orgasm’ memory, he’d checked his phone and seen a message from his wife.  “You didn’t know?”  Maya shook her head, knowing that even if they’d had longer to talk before the alarms had gone, Carina would have been unlikely to mention that.  “Miranda texted me, asking if I knew them.”

“The triplets?” asked Travis, his brain only slowly restarting after the masturbation discussion, earning him a thump on the shoulder from Vic.

“42.”  Ben shrugged, not knowing anyone in that station.

“Mickleson, must be,” said Jack, thinking about who he knew over there and why Dr Bailey might be involved - it had to be because something had gone a bit wrong somehow, and between 42 and anyone, nevermind someone he actually liked and respected like Carina, he’d always bet on 42.  “Man’s an ass.”

“Jack!”

“He is actually,” said Robert quietly, remembering the man Jack was talking about having given up trying to hide in the gym, not least because he’d still been able to hear them all talking.  “Why did Dr Bailey want to know?”

“She wants to make a complaint, but wanted to see if it would be difficult for us.”  He looked at Maya after first glancing to check Carina was still on her phone.  “I was going to talk to you later…”  Ben felt in a difficult position, caught between admiration for his wife’s determination that people should do the right thing and the trust and sense of fellowship they shared as firefighters.  “...apparently Miranda thinks she…” he tilted his head in Carina’s direction, “...hasn’t already reported it because she was worried it might make things difficult since it was SFD not EMS.”

“Thanks.”  Maya was about to say something else when Andy, seeing Carina had ended her call, cut her off.

“You delivered triplets Carina?”

“Si...wait, how did you know?”

“Like we weren’t all going to hear about 42’s Aid Car turning into a delivery room on Christmas Eve,” said Vic quickly, following Andy’s lead.

“Especially with it being 42,” said Jack, joining in when he saw what they were trying to do.

“Si?”  Carina put her phone back in her pocket and returned to the group of firefighters, taking the opportunity to move closer to Maya now she was there as well.

“They think they’re the best station because they won a Mayor’s award last year.”

“What was the Mayor’s award for?”

“Community project.”  Sullivan had been, along with the other Battalion Chiefs, tasked with producing the very short short list for the Mayor’s Office to review.  “It helps that they are a really quiet station.”

“Ah.”  Carina was starting to see what they were saying, able to spot parallels with her experiences of various types of doctors’ egos.  “They have the time to spare, did one special thing and now everything they do is special?”

“Something like that.”

“Plus their Captain’s a chauvinistic pig.”

“Bishop!”  “Maya!”  “Captain!” 

“What?”  Maya, seeing Carina really wasn’t appreciating the Stationhouse coffee, took the mug from her girlfriend’s hand and started to drink it for her, rather than directly respond to her team’s objections.  Right now, she wanted to be Carina’s girlfriend and find out with everyone else what had made Miranda Bailey want to go into battle, rather than 19’s Captain.

“She’s right, he’s a dinosaur, still not got a single woman in his station,” said Andy, smiling behind her own mug of coffee when she saw Maya start drinking Carina’s to help her out.  “My Dad hated him.”

“So this 42 is not well liked?”

“Not by the good stations, no,” said Jack, glad he had taken the opportunity Carina had offered to start again after she and Maya had got back together - they would never be close friends, but it was...nice...to be able to be friendly with her without there being any antagonism, and he was getting a lot of practice at learning how to talk to an attractive, generally friendly woman he hadn’t slept with without trying to flirt with her.  He also knew it was an opportunity he’d not really deserved to be offered in the first place, which made him try even harder. “Did you have a problem?”

“With the triplets?  Not really, though Mama would have been more comfortable if she had not spent the first three hours of her labour thinking it was indigestion.  And told me it was triplets.”  For one thing, Carina would have been a little more prepared when the first baby arrived for their smaller size, and would have had more NICU nurses ready to assist her.

“Oh?”

“Si, she would have then got to the hospital in time to have the bambine in a warm hospital room.”  Carina shrugged.  “Once she is crowned, she cannot be moved, so I delivered in the Aid Car at Grey Sloan.  The paramedici were stupido.”

“Miranda wants to make a complaint,” said Ben, sensing this was the moment he was supposed to take.

“Si.”  She looked around at all of the firefighters she was starting to think of as friends as well as her girlfriend’s colleagues, seeing no criticism in their faces.  “It is your vehicle but at the hospital she is my patient and when I say she must stay in the vehicle because the bambine are coming…”

“We ask what you want us to do and do it!  You’re the doctor,” said Andy, sending a pointed look to Maya that she hoped her friend read as ‘hug your girlfriend’.  “Didn’t they?”

“Not until another Aid Car came, uh...no, I do not know the number.  But Bailey was meeting that patient.  And it was a female Lieutenant taller than me...”

“That’s definitely a complaint Carina, the rules are really clear about that sort of thing,” said Andy, the others all nodding their heads in agreement.  “It shouldn’t have taken Tess and…”  Andy wracked her brain for who might have been partnered with the only female Lieutenant Andy knew of who was taller than Carina, which meant it was easy to know which station’s aid car it was.  “....oh, what’s he called, at 45, with the tattoo?”  She muttered to herself, knowing that was going to bug her for the rest of shift now.

“Henson?” suggested Robert quietly, knowing who his wife meant, having been Battalion Chief to Station 45 but, much to his relief, not Station 42.  That Lieutenant wasn’t just taller than Carina, she was as tall as him!

“Thanks.”

“Tess’s good, she’ll write him up too,” agreed Montgomery, having done a couple of courses with her, looking at Maya and seeing she was looking a slightly interesting shade of pale.  

“And Henson’s bigger than Miller, so…” Jack saw the colour start to return Maya’s face to a slightly more healthy shade of pale as he spoke, so he let his comment hang, not needing to finish now he’d been able to remind Maya that in the unlikely event there could have been a risk of 42 being stupid and trying to physically intimidate Carina, she wouldn’t have been undefended in Maya’s absence.  His hunch was, based on how Carina and Bailey seemed to have reacted with frustration mostly rather than outright anger, that it probably hadn’t occurred to them that they could have been in any physical danger.

“You don’t mind?” asked Carina, turning to look at Maya, not wanting to create trouble for her girlfriend - if the delay had in any way affected the health of the babies or the mother she’d not even be hesitating, but it hadn’t.  It had just been wrong and she didn’t like arguing when she could be treating patients.

“I’d mind if you didn’t complain,” said Maya, wrapping her arms around Carina’s waist and kissing her shoulder, making a mental note to find a way of saying thank you to Jack later for helping her finally place who Henson was.  Mickleson and his cronies at 42 were pieces of shit who they rarely worked with except when a scene hit 5 alarm level.  She didn’t like to dwell on the less upstanding members of the Department, few did in the Stations like 19, but Jack’s comment made her think she might need to warn Carina at some point, and suggest Ben mentioned something to Miranda too, if 42 were going to start to become Grey-Sloan regulars.  But that was something for another day.

“Do you need to go back?”

“No, Teddy just wanted to check something.”  The surgeon had a patient who was ‘only just’ pregnant, and Teddy was suddenly worried in case the drug she wanted to try first would create any complications.  She kissed the top of Maya’s head, then remembered she’d been cross with Vic, so looked across at her.  “I am sorry for being cross Vic.”

“No worries, I should know better...Maya said you delivered eleven babies this shift?”

“Si.  And not delivered another four, which is also good.”  She leaned forward, not moving away from Maya but just enough so she could see the state of the soup.  “You can add the stock now Emmett.  If you are going to freeze it do not add the pasta.”

“Are we freezing it?” asked Emmett as Travis poured in the jug of stock that Carina had shown Emmett how to make earlier from a different assortment of random ingredients she’d found in their kitchen.

“Yes,” said Miller, not sure what ‘it’ was as he wandered back in from the gym.  “It smells too good for B Shift.”

“Are you not supposed to be one team?” asked Carina, amused at their possessiveness of a pot of minestrone made from some very sad vegetables and stock.

“We are, but you are part of A Shift,” said Vic, joining Dean in investigating what was in the pot.

“I am?”

“You’re the Captain’s girlfriend,” explained Andy, deciding that she’d help Maya out since she’d been rather good in the last few minutes at being a supportive girlfriend rather than panicking like the Maya of old, “so you’re welcomed by every shift, but Maya was A Shift before she was Captain which makes you A Shift.”

“I see…”  She really didn’t, and everyone could tell.

“Think of it like how Miranda is Chief of Surgery but still on the General Surgery Service,” suggested Ben, knowing that before he had become a firefighter he would have never made the suggestion but able to see enough parallels that it would probably help Carina.

“Ah.”  Carina nodded, getting it now.  “She is one of yours which makes me one of you even when all of you are hers because she is now Captain?”

“Sounds about right,” agreed Andy, able to follow the tangled logic the best, most familiar with how Carina’s sentence structure sometimes went a bit wrong by American standards, because she was following Italian grammar principles, or as Carina had put one night when she’d had a higher than usual struggle with getting her English understood in the way she’d intended it, ‘she spoke a language that had rules, not secret codes’.  “It was the same for me when I was a kid and my Dad was Captain.”

“And your amazing food definitely is not B Shift’s,” added Travis, still amazed at how she’d been able to make something so delicious looking from the sorry state that was their fridge.  “It’s food witchcraft!”

“Thank you.”  A pause.  “I think.”  Carina wasn’t sure she wanted to be a ‘food witch’, but the way Maya’s fingers were stroking her side made her think it was another of Travis’ dramatic compliments.  Perhaps she should just start translating everything he said in that bright voice into Italian and treating him like he was Sicilian not American…  

“How did you not know that already?” asked Vic, looking at Andy as their main expert ‘Maya’ decoder.

“We do not have the As and Bs at the hospital, we just have shifts,” said Carina, not thinking it was a particularly big deal, but finding the reactions of the firefighters, including her girlfriend’s, curious.

“Wait…”  Carina turned around and looked at Andy.  “...dios mios Maya!”

“Cosa?” Now Carina really was confused...

Chapter Text

“It was the lockdown!” said Maya, wilting under her best friend’s evil eye stare, knowing what she was talking about.

“What’s happening?” asked Carina, looking between Andy and Maya, knowing that Andy could push Maya further than most with teasing, but also completely confused as to what they were talking about.

“You haven’t given her the cap yet?”  Andy looked at Maya in disbelief, not realising she had been giving her best friend a bit too much credit at how she was doing being a good firefighter girlfriend. 

Carina still had no idea what Andy was talking about, but clearly, based on the collective gasp the question drew from the rest of the team and the quiet groan from Maya, she was now the only one not knowing what was going on.

 “Warren…” Andy spun round to look at Ben, “...tell me Miranda has the cap?”

“Miranda has the cap…and Tuck.”

“Si, she asked me this morning about mine...”  Carina had tried to get more information from her fellow Doctor about what she meant, but had instead just received a rather curious smile from her Boss, and a cryptic remark about shifts that Carina had not quite caught so presumed it was yet another strange American idiom she hadn’t recognised.  She shrugged.  “...I thought she was talking about the snow.”  Those that heard her comment groaned and rolled their eyes at her girlfriend, adding to her confusion.

“Miller?”

“Pru has the cap,” confirmed Dean, folding his arms as he joined in the united front of giving Maya the friendly version of the ‘evil eye’.  “Your Dad made sure of that, but it’s on her teddy bear until she’s bigger.”  JJ did not, and needed to not ever be spoken of again - fortunately he’d not got around to giving her the cap given her rather spontaneous return into his life, so at least he didn’t have to take it back before she left again.

“Jackson does not have the cap,” added Vic, making sure that Maya was understanding how badly she had let the side down - it was obvious Jackson shouldn’t have the cap, but that meant currently Jackson and Carina were the ones with the similarity, not Carina and Bailey.

“Probie?”

“Yes Lieutenant?”  Emmett somehow knew from Jack’s voice that he was the target, not Sullivan.

“Give the spoon to Montgomery and go get the Captain a cap from the stores.”

“Yes Lieutenant.”  With a grin, Emmett set off towards the stairs.  He, along with the other cadets at the Fire Academy, had heard about this tradition common across all the stations, but he’d managed to keep his ex-fiancee from finding out about it.  He’d assumed (clearly like the rest of the team), that the Captain hadn’t forgotten about it but somehow managed to avoid the ‘public’ part of the ritual.

“Probie!”

“Yes Captain?”  His grin slipped from his face as he instinctively reacted to Maya’s crisp call and turned back to look at her, rather confused when, despite calling him in her sharpest Captain’s voice, she was standing very un-Captain-like, holding her girlfriend’s hand and looking...amused, terrified and a little embarrassed….until Doctor DeLuca wrapped an arm around her, at which point the Captain smiled, her whole demeanour changing as the tension left her body, making the team’s point for them.  

It was so blindingly obvious that the Captain should have done this months ago.

“Top right cupboard, behind my desk...”  She could feel her cheeks flaming red as she saw the grins beginning to spread through her team.  “...make sure your hands are clean!”

“Yes Captain!”  And, his bright grin firmly back in place, he set off down the stairs to the Captain’s office like he’d just been called to a 5-alarm fire.

“Are we doing this here then?” asked Travis, obediently not stopping with the stirring, his smile somehow reassuring Carina that whatever ‘this’ was, it was going to be kind.  

In the early part of their relationship, if this situation had arisen, Carina would have felt her anxiety for Maya start to rise when the team made it clear that they felt their Captain was on the ‘bad step’ because of this cap thing, but seeing Maya’s smile was the best reassurance of all that she didn’t need to prepare for battle and argument.  

Whatever this cap thing was, while the team’s criticism was not something her girlfriend was enjoying, Carina was starting to feel confident that the thing itself was something Maya was comfortable about and even excited by, and was managing to keep that perspective dominant. In that moment, Carina decided that even if she didn’t like or understand this thing, she was determined to enjoy the next few moments as if nothing else, it was something she would be able to remind Maya of when her doubts about her progress in taming her anxieties and demons dominated her thoughts, and being reminded of that was something that always had Carina feeling wrapped in the warmth of Maya’s love for her. 

‘Eyes Forward’ Maya would have been halfway down the block running at a lung-bursting pace by now, unless she’d slammed her office door on the world and set about conquering her paperwork at equally record-setting speed.  But ‘Eyes Forward’ Maya, shaped and moulded by her father to see the world in his way no matter the cost to her, wasn’t in charge anymore.

 “...only if so it’s either shoes off or the Doctor needs a chair, and with B Shift’s table manners…”

“Maya?”  Carina’s recently abated nerves were returning again when furniture and footwear were mentioned, her moment of inward reflection on how much progress Maya had made since the ‘trust break’ meaning she’d not paid attention to who Travis was talking to, just that he was talking about her...and in a way that was making her remember some of the more unpleasant tricks some had played at medical school.  

“He’s making fun of my height,” murmured Maya, caught between utter mortification at what her team were putting her through and heart-exploding joy that they were being so welcoming to her girlfriend.

“Ragazzo sciocco…”  Carina teasingly stuck the tip of her tongue out at Maya, seeing the unique blend of frustration because Maya had no idea what she was saying mixed with love and arousal because she was speaking quietly, just to Maya. “Sei la perfezione bellissima…” Planning on proving that Maya’s height was indeed perfection, Carina let go of Maya’s hand and leaned into her, unable to resist cupping her face and drawing their lips together.

“Ahem…”  The stiff sound of several members of the team clearing their throats reminded them of both of their audience, causing a moment’s hesitation as their eyes locked, each wanting to check in and see whether they were comfortable now they were reminded of the spotlight they were currently in.  

“Your chair Doctor,” said Sullivan politely from a short distance away, the second intrusion meaning the moment was lost.

Frowning, Carina turned her head just enough to be able to look past Maya and watch as he pulled one of the chairs out from the table and made great show of dusting it down with one of the (fortunately clean) dish clothes that had been sitting on the worktop.  He’d recognised this was a ‘Probie’ moment without needing to be told, but for once this was one ‘Probie’ task he was delighted to do.  

Tradition meant, once he’d been demoted back to basic grunt, he was the Station Probie assuming a Station would give him a chance, albeit a chance that meant battling his way back along a tough and rocky path with plenty of floor mopping and toilet cleaning along its route.  And now, those same traditions meant he had the privilege of helping the Captain who gave him that chance, who had become a good friend in the process, share a very special tradition with Carina, who had become another good friend to both him and Andy.

“Grazie Robert…”  Carina smiled at the tall, quiet guy who she had got to know through a series of meals that Maya and Andy refused to call ‘double dates’, but which Amelia Shepherd repeatedly told her were exactly that.  For all the complications his choices had introduced into Maya’s life, Carina had come to also think of him as a good friend of hers and not just the husband of her girlfriend’s best friend. His participation now, in whatever this ‘thing’ was, was another layer of calm reassurance, and so she moved to take the seat, expecting Maya to move with her, since this ‘thing’ obviously involved the both of them.

To Carina’s surprise, when she went to sit down, Maya stayed where she was, looking a bit nervous, though when she had her back completely turned to her team after Robert had moved back around to stand with Andy, she mouthed ‘I love you’, making Carina’s smile change several levels.

“Slow down Captain,” teased Andy quietly, coming to stand by her best friend with the dual ambition of being in prime photo-taking position but also to help ensure she didn’t panic and run, her thoughts not dissimilar to her husband’s.  Andy had known, once Robert had been suspended, that if he were to get a second chance, it would be unlikely to be as a Battalion Chief or even Captain.  That, chance, if he did get it, would hopefully be because there would be a Captain prepared to give Robert his second chance because they could be compassionate and permit value to be placed on very human emotions and feelings, and to not solely rely on impersonal facts and figures as they made their decision.  

As much as she loved her best friend, the Cadet Andy had first met at the Academy would never be that Captain.  And yet her best friend was exactly that Captain, found by Maya deep within herself after facing her own personal demons and battles, discovered when she started following her own tough and rocky path...a path Andy knew Maya had only been able to find and travel along with Carina in her heart.

 “COME ON PROBIE!” yelled Andy, making sure to not shout straight down Maya’s ear, hoping she didn’t wake the puppies either, who if they could sleep through all the noise they were making, were definitely future Stationhouse dogs and able to adjust to the alarms.

“Sorry Lieutenant.”  Emmett rushed back into the Beanery, holding a cardboard file folder in his hands which he’d evidently borrowed from Maya’s desk.  “Captain, I didn’t want to risk a mark.”  He skidded to a halt in front of Maya, holding the half open file folder out to her, doing his best to stand as close to attention as it was possible.

“Good initiative,” agreed Maya, smiling at him as she looked down and saw he’d found it.

“Come on Cap,” whispered Andy, giving her friend a nudge with her elbow when she realised Maya had frozen, looking at what he’d brought up from her office.  

The dark blue cap had the SFD logo on its front, but, unlike the replica caps they gave away at community events sometimes, not only was this one exactly the same as the SFD patch they had on their uniform shirt sleeves down to the last stitch, but it also had ‘19’ within the patch and ‘Station 19’ stitched across the back in red lettering.  It was the cap they wore as part of their everyday uniform if they were in the right situation, and by department tradition, was kept by retired firefighters and given by active firefighters to their loved ones at the ‘right time’.  

Rolling her eyes at the ridiculousness of the situation, while inwardly thinking that she couldn’t actually think of a more perfect way of doing a part of firefighter ritual she’d long ago decided would never be for her, Maya rubbed her hands against her uniform trousers to make sure they were properly dry from her shower, then carefully picked up the cap, causing Andy to gasp.  The cap Maya was holding had clearly been removed from its plastic wrapper and stiff cardboard packaging some time ago as, while it was still obviously brand new, it was definitely not ‘factory fresh’.  What should have been a stiff, flat peak was now the sort of flattering curved peak that Andy knew from experience, could only be achieved with careful shaping and a clear mental image of the face shape of the eventual cap wearer.

“Yeah, I hadn’t forgotten…” murmured Maya.

This wasn’t ‘a cap from the stores’.

This was the cap Maya had carefully, lovingly prepared for the woman she so clearly loved and, as anyone who saw them together for more than a moment or two, was in turn loved by in equal measure.

“This is the bit you’ve practiced,” teased Andy, realising Maya had reached for the cap and lifted it up with the same extreme reverence and care Andy had seen in her friend only once before, the one and only time she’d seen her take her Olympic Gold Medal out of its display box.

Turning to her rather bemused looking girlfriend, blushing almost as red as the stitching on the cap, Maya realised she probably needed to explain what on earth they were doing..

“Umm, so...there’s this tradition in the fire department, that I probably should have told you about…”  She chewed her lip, looking at Carina and feeling her heart shift up another gear with love, not panic, when she saw her smile.  “...that I’m a little bit behind on introducing you to…”

“Va bene…how behind?”  asked Carina, realising that sitting in silence was making both her and Maya all the more aware of their audience, whereas if she just started talking to Maya, it was easy to feel like it was just the two of them.

“Uhh...since summer?”

“Si, è un po più di un po.”  Carina couldn’t keep her laughter in as she spoke, knowing that the phrase ‘that’s a little bit more than a little bit’ was one of the Italian phrases Maya had learned to recognise, it being something Carina had frequently had occasion to say after spending longer in bed than they really had time for, including whenever it was that they’d woken up together before Maya left for this current shift. It was so easy and wonderful to be able to love each other and neither could really resist the temptation of kisses and more ‘just for a little bit’, even if it did invariably end up sharing kisses and more that turned into ‘a little bit more than a little bit’ and force them to rush to catch up with their day.

“Yeah...so, umm, welcome to 19.”  Rather stiffly, Maya moved forwards and carefully put the cap on Carina’s head, the significance of the taller doctor needing to have either sat down or taken her shoes off now making a bit more sense.

“Grazie.”  Carina wasn’t a natural wearer of baseball caps, but decided she would like this one as clearly, it was something that was special not just for her and Maya, but for the people who trusted Maya with their lives, who Maya trusted with her life.  “Maya?” she asked, confused by why she was leaning forwards and no longer standing so stiffly.

“That was the scary part…” whispered Maya, the stiffness melting from her body now she’d actually got the cap on Carina’s head without being hit by lightning or the alarms going, the understandable worry that she was going to have one of the numerous superstitious ‘bad luck’ mishaps associated with this tradition had found a rich fuel to feed on in the shape of her anxieties about not being able to love Carina because she was ‘broken’.  “...this is the fun part...I love you.”  

Angling her head so she could kiss Carina without headbutting the peak of the cap or worse, knocking it from her head, Maya forgot about her team, forgot about the anxiety she had about doing this piece of department ritual and tradition she’d screwed up into an angry, tiny ball and tossed aside when she was Cadet Maya ‘monogamy is for the weak’ Bishop all those years ago.  As her lips brushed Carina’s, gently teasing, she felt Carina say ‘ti amo’ and she grinned, unwittingly giving Carina the opportunity she’d been suddenly craving to deepen the kiss.

As she eased her tongue into her girlfriend’s mouth, tasting toothpaste and bad coffee, Carina threaded her fingers through hair she didn’t notice was wet, feeling the familiar fizz of arousal deep within her that only Maya’s kisses had ever managed to spark so quickly and intensely so frequently.  Before her brain completely shut down in its ability to do anything other than demand more everything from the kiss, she thought she now understood Miranda’s funny little look when she’d asked if Carina had her hat yet.

Miranda wasn’t asking about a snow hat, she was asking about family.

Dimly Maya was aware of the whoops and hollers of her team as she felt Carina’s fingers sink into her hair, fingernails scratching just the right spots on her head to send pulses of tingling joy down her spine, through her whole being.  For a split second a tiny voice in her head tried to remind her she was the Captain, before it was shouted down and knocked aside by all the individual memories she had of being genuinely happy for other firefighters as she’d joined in the cheers and whistles at other cap presentations.  Even when she firmly believed ‘monogamy is for the weak’, there was a part of her that still delighted in their obvious happiness all the while believing she would never be here, in this moment, gifting her own cap, not seeing how having someone who loved her like that, who she loved like that, was anything other than distracting baggage.

Running her hands down Carina’s sides, she leaned further into the kiss, bending her knees as she felt her hands reach the familiar, sinuously sexy curve of Carina’s waist, her left hand staying there as her right continued down to her hip and along until she was holding her under her thigh.  Carina, responding instinctively to her touch, arched into Maya’s body, her lips leaving Maya’s for the briefest of moments as she moved her head a few degrees to the side, creating a natural angle to make it easier to deepen the kiss further.  Taking the opportunity to draw in a quick shallow breath that the brief loss of Carina’s lips against hers presented, Maya slid her left hand around to her girlfriend’s back and, continuing to kiss with now grinning lips, she straightened up, lifting Carina up out of the chair as she stood, her original plan to just coax her girlfriend to stand now she was wearing the cap forgotten when she’d felt Carina response to her touch.

“Maya!” Carina’s voice was a mixture of shriek and laughter, the sudden change in position catching her off guard and giving her a moment’s jolt of shock that was quickly chased away by the unrestricted joy she couldn’t contain every time she experienced Maya’s strength in this sort of playful, intimate, personal way.  Logically, she knew that she was hardly the first person the firefighter had picked up, understanding there was a real purpose behind the incredible strength all the firefighters worked hard to maintain, but in her heart, she knew that how Maya lifted and carried her was very, very different, and drew on a strength the blonde Captain had that went beyond simple muscle fibres.

Vaguely, Carina was aware, as she wrapped her legs around her girlfriend’s hips and took advantage of now being once more the ‘taller’ one in their kiss, that the team were cheering and shouting things at Maya, that Maya was slowly spinning them as they kissed.  Trying to work out what was going on meant she’d have to stop kissing Maya…

...she wasn’t that curious, although the team were rather loud, and either her ears were getting sensitive, or they were getting louder and louder the longer the kiss and the slower the spinning.

Engine Nineteen….Ladder Nineteen…

Che palle!

Chapter Text

Groaning in frustration part way through their fifth slow spin, Maya reluctantly but promptly broke away from Carina’s lips and, after making sure Carina was steady on her feet, whispered a final quick ‘I love you, stay?” as she let go of her, knowing the moment she hopefully saw her girlfriend’s beautiful smile and small nod she’d have to turn and follow her team down the stairs to clamber into the trucks.

“Si… ti amo…”

Carina’s slightly dazed response was whispered to an almost empty Beanery, with Emmett deciding to diplomatically pick the moment after the Captain had launched herself down the staircase as the right time to return the random file he’d borrowed back to the Captain’s office.  Ben, not needed, stepped in and began dutifully stirring the almost finished soup.

“Va bene Carina?” asked Andy, deciding that Italian, even with her slightly too Spanish emphasis on the wrong syllables and failure to sound every last letter in each word, was probably the most likely to be heard by the doctor after a kiss that good.

“Si…”  Conscious of some of her hair tickling her jaw, Carina moved her hand up to her face to brush it behind her shoulder, only to find it was actually caught by the cap, which she’d somehow managed to forget she was wearing.  “...no…”  She took the cap off her head and studied it, her finger tracing the stitching of the SFD patch on the front,“...può essere…”  finding the surprisingly bumpy bit of otherwise plain stitching , eyes widening in surprise when the ‘bumps’ either side of the ‘SEATTLE’ were suddenly recognisable as a ‘1’ and a ‘9’, the ‘19’ almost invisible unless you knew to look for it on the plain white stitching.  “Questo significa famiglia?” she asked, looking up at Andy, feeling her eyes watering a little.

“Si Carina, questo significa che parte de nostra famiglia,” explained Andy, knowing under normal circumstances Carina would be immediately repeating what she’d just said, only she would be placing the emphasis in the correct places for it to sound Italian whereas Andy always wandered from Italian emphasis initially to Spanish by the end of a sentence and mangled some of her grammar as a bonus.  But these weren’t normal circumstances.  “La nostra famiglia a diciannove...”  

Whereas most small children, learning languages, started with numbers through first ten, then twenty, Andy had already known the numbers 1-10 in Italian, but had made a point of asking Carina what 19 was, certain it would be useful at some point, deciding to worry about 11-18 should the need ever arise.

“Compreso il turno ‘B’?” asked Carina, smiling as the water in her eyes became a tear or three, telling Andy they were happy tears.

“Compreso il turno ‘B’ e mio zio Snuffy.”

“Snuffy?”  Hearing the very new, very American sounding word shook Carina back into English.  “What is a Snuffy?”

“My Uncle Snuffy.”

“Snuffy is a person?”

“Retired Captain Snuffy Sousa,” said Ben, recalling with mixed emotions the first time he’d met the SFD legend given what else had happened that day.

“I basically grew up in this station,” explained Andy, knowing from previous conversations they’d had at the apartment that there were some parallels between Andy’s childhood with her Dad and Carina’s with her father.  “Uncle Snuffy is the worst salsa dancer ever, but he would make me laugh so much.”

“I thought your father was Captain?”

“Of 19, yes.  He was promoted to Captain first, took over from Captain Lawrence.  When Uncle Snuffy and Uncle Charlie made it to Captain, since Dad was here, they went to other stations.”  Andy drank the last of her nearly cold coffee.  “But they will always be part of 19.”

“This is…scusa...”  Carina looked up at the bright overhead light in a vague attempt to try and stop her eyes watering again.

“She didn’t give you any hint I bet,” said Andy conversationally as she rinsed her coffee mug in the sink, recognising Carina was trying to compose herself and thinking a bit of small talk might help, but unable to completely change the topic.

“No.”  Carina blinked a couple more times then looked at Ben, curious about how Miranda had reacted.  “You surprised Dr Bailey the same?”

“Me?  Oh no…”  Ben gave the soup a very focused stir as he shook his head, struggling to picture how his wife would have taken such a surprise. “...no, but it was a bit different for me.”

“Because you were already married?”

“Yes, no.”  Ben saw Emmett arrive and gestured for him to resume stirring duties.  “A little, but…”

“Probies don’t get to give caps.”  Andy dried her hands on the towel and leaned on the counter, eying the two remaining bananas in the fruit bowl, trying to decide if she wanted to eat one.  

“You don’t?”

“No Dr DeLuca.”  Emmett inhaled the fragrant steam rising from the pot.

“Fifty fires.”

“Cosa?”

“After I’d been to fifty fires I was allowed to drive the Aid Car,” explained Ben, grabbing some juice from the fridge.   “That was when I stopped being Probie.”

“You were a Probie?”  Carina’s face showed her confusion, though it was also helping her to recover from that kiss.

“Not a Probie, the Probie.”  He clapped Emmett on the shoulder, his smile infectious.  “Then I got to give Miranda the cap.”

“With the spinning?”

“Noooo….” Andy gestured for Ben to pass her the juice, grinning when she saw Carina roll her eyes and sigh in good natured frustration, finding everything they said added to her confusion rather than helped.  “Sorry. Only firefighters who are considered to be part of the Station’s ‘family’ can give the Station cap.  Just being assigned to the Station doesn’t make you family.  It has to be earned, which for Probies at 19 is fifty fires.”

“Va bene, you have not yet done fifty fires Emmett?”

“Not even close.”

“Ah, so you are Probie.”  This, Carina decided, was starting to make a bit of sense.

“Probie is Probie because this is his first station after completing the Academy and is not a Cadet anymore.”

“Probie is short for Probationer.  Like the firefighter version of Interns,” suggested Ben, realising this was another moment when some medical analogies might help Carina make sense of everything a bit quicker.  “Think of Cadets in the same way you think of Med Students.”  Ben looked thoughtfully at her, suddenly realising he didn’t think he’d ever seen her working with med students.  “Do you have much to do with med students?”  

“In Seattle? No, but in Italy yes I did.”  It was Carina’s turn to realise she was now the one confusing Andy.  “I came to Seattle to do my research and ended up also having patients which means I do not have time to teach the medical students.  Some have medical students instead of research.”

“Ah.  Can’t do everything right?”  Carina nodded, waiting for Andy to return to whatever explanation she was about to give that was dependent on Carina understanding ‘Probie’ was more than just what everyone seemed to call Emmett and Robert.  “So at the right time, the Station decides Probie is no longer Probie…” continued Andy, taking a sip of the glass of juice she’d poured, giving Carina a chance to check her comparison reference with Ben. 

 “Like how interns become residents?”  While she now understood the doctor hierarchy in Grey-Sloan, it was because she had learned to know when she wanted ‘interns’ to monitor her patients and when she wanted ‘residents’ and not, like her American colleagues, because they had worked their way up through the positions and knew first hand what they’d been able to do and not do.  She had the same career experience, she’d just had it with different job titles and supervisory structures.

“Yeah, but we’re just firefighters.”

“You are not called anything?”

“They’re called by their names,” said Andy, looking at Emmett with a friendly grin, “isn’t that right Probie?”

“Yes Lieutenant.”

“So when you started calling Ben ‘Warren’ not ‘Probie’ he could give Miranda the cap?” Carina looked back down at the cap she was holding with the same care she had held those eleven newborns earlier in her shift, not realising she had the same smile, nor that Andy snuck a picture of her to send to Maya.

“Yes.”

“But no spinning?”

“No.  Because it was my first cap.”  

“What he means,” said Andy quickly, not wanting to have to explain to Maya how Probie could suddenly swear in fluent Italian, which was almost certainly what was going to happen if this explanation took much longer, an explanation Andy would at some point remind Maya she should have really given Carina herself, months ago.  “...is that the first time a firefighter gives the cap, tradition is they put the cap on their partner and give them a kiss.  If you give a second cap to the same person, it’s one turn as you kiss.”  Why they did the turn, no one could actually remember, with the true reason already lost amongst six different stories Andy had been hearing since she was nine or ten, each considered the absolute truth by the Station that retold it.  By the time she’d got to the Academy, she knew of about twelve different ‘origins’, some only slightly different to the six she’d been hearing since childhood, but two were completely brand new to her.   By the time she’d become Lieutenant at 19, she’d stopped counting.

“Second cap?  Like from another station?”

“Right,” confirmed Andy, nodding her head towards Ben.  “So since we’re Warren’s first station and he’s no longer Probie, he’s given Miranda one cap.  If he moved to another station, when he was no longer their Probie, he’d give Miranda their cap as well, and have to make one turn during the kiss.”

“But that’s not gonna happen because I’m not leaving 19,” said Ben quickly, not wanting Carina to think there was something he hadn’t yet told Miranda.

“The zuppa is cooked,” said Carina, glancing at the soup as she listened, watching as Emmettt turned off the heat and moved the pot onto a cooler part of the stove top.  “This is the only station Maya has worked at while we have been together, and the only cap she has given me but we were turning, si?”  Carina didn’t need to ask if this was Maya’s first cap she’d given - that she already knew the answer to and was something she’d hold close to her heart and only bring up with her girlfriend.

“Yes, at least three times.”

“Three turns?”

“At least.  This is a three unit station and that…”  Andy nodded to the cap that Carina was still holding with as much care as she’d held the puppies in the Santa hat, “...cap was given by the Captain.”

“One turn for each unit…” muttered Ben, seeing how the logic worked, not knowing that there was a different version again for Captains.  “...but I thought I counted five?”

“Cinque?  Cinque cerchi senza fermarsi?”  Carina knew Maya was strong, but that was making her regret not being able to be a spectator and admire her girlfriend’s muscles…she could feel her face getting very warm and judging from how Andy was looking at her, she was probably blushing. “Why cinque, five?”

“Because the engine and ladder were called before she could start number six.”  Andy shrugged, not knowing how the idea that Station Captains had to keep turning for as long as they could, but suspecting it had something to do with earning the respect of their new Station, since most firefighters, by the time they made Captain, had already given their first cap, if not also changed station and so given their second or even third caps too.  “Captains must do a minimum one turn per stationhouse unit, but are expected to keep turning until they break the kiss, or the kiss gets broken.  And you were right earlier too, firefighters are superstitious, which is why we made so much noise.”  

Andy had actually recorded the whole thing on her phone, which she would send to Maya at some point when they had a moment and she could warn her first - surprising Maya with photos or video of herself was high risk once you knew how difficult it was to get Maya to relax when cameras were around as a rule, but it was the only way to actually get her picture.  It had got easier in recent months though, with Andy certain she’d managed to get more pictures of her best friend not looking like she wanted to destroy the camera and photograph-taker than she’d managed in all the years they’d been friends up until then.  The ‘secret’ she’d discovered wasn’t even that much of a secret - just try to take the picture when Carina was available as a distraction, be it in person, on the phone or Maya’s focus had drifted.

“Cosa?”

“It’s bad luck for the Station if the kiss is broken before each unit’s had its turn, so we count them.  After the bad luck is avoided, the more extra turns the better the Station’s future luck will be.”  She yawned.  “Sorry, it’s not the company.”

“But it is sensible, I only meant to come wish Maya Buon Natale then go home and sleep.”  She looked at the clock and started yawning, not realising that it was approaching 4am now, when the last time she’d consciously looked at the clock was as she arrived at the Station, just before 1am.  “And now…”

“Good thing there’s a bunk with your name on it then,” said Andy, deciding she could probably manage another nap as well, only to see she’d managed to confuse Carina again - she was going to have to serious words with Maya about teaching Carina ‘Firefighter American’ to augment the doctor’s already excellent American vocabulary.  “I mean, you should go and get some sleep right now, worry about going home later.”  

“Sleep? Here?”  Carina eyed the Beanery chair that she’d dozed off in earlier with suspicion.

“If you like, but I’d say the Captain’s Bunk is more comfortable, and quieter.”  Andy glanced around the Beanery, double checking that Carina hadn’t brought anything else up with her when they’d first come up.  “Knowing Maya it’s all set, but I’ll come with you in case you need a pillow case…”  Andy was absolutely certain the small room off the Captain’s office would be immaculate, with the bed made with clean bedding and was about the quietest place in the Station.  “...and we both know she won’t mind you using it.”

“Si, she does not rest well on shift…” agreed Carina, going with Andy towards the stairs, pausing for a moment as they passed the cooling pot of minestrone to look at Emmett’s handiwork.  “...molto buona Emmett.”

“Thanks…er Lieutenant?”

“Yes Probie?”

“I was going to clean the floors, but the puppies need their next feed…”  He knew that they were supposed to offer food or milk to the puppies every couple of hours, and it was coming up to that time again, but he had also been conscious of the smell of farmyard hanging in the air when he’d gone to get the Captain’s cap - hardly surprising given the previous call the Engine and Ladder had been at, but now the kit had been cleaned, repacked in the trucks and was currently in use again at the current scene, he thought he’d go and see if he could get rid of the lingering smell.

“Is there a problem with the floors?”

“It still smells like a farmyard after the last call.”

“I...”

Aid Car Nineteen…

“Go Andy, I will find Maya’s bunk,” agreed Carina quickly, understanding the call took priority over everything, vaguely aware that she’d heard Ben already running downstairs.  “Emmett?”

“Yes Doctor?”

“Do you mind putting the puppies and their things in the Captain’s office?  I would offer to help the floor cleaning but…”  She laughed when she saw his look of horror at that suggestion as she put the cap back on her head with care so she didn’t accidentally forget it.  “...Si, I do not think our Captain would be pleased with either of us.  But I will help you with i cuccioli.”

“Thank you Doctor.”  He headed over the table and picked up the box they were using as the puppies bed,  only to pause as doubt crept in.  “Er, are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Cosa?”

“I mean…”  He looked at her, seeing the Station 19 cap on her head, and blushed, realising how stupid he was being.  “...nevermind.”  

“Did Captain Bishop say they were forbidden from her office?”

“Kinda?”

“Va bene, we will not put them in her office.”  Carina grinned and nodded, coming up with a new plan.

“Oh, ok.”  Emmett put the box back on the table, thinking she was saying she wouldn’t help him, which meant he would feed them now and worry about the farmyard smell later, hopefully before the call finished.

“Si parte…” said Carina, going to the top of the stairs, looking back when she saw he wasn’t following.  “...let’s go Probie …” she teased, trying out the nickname now she better understood why he had it assigned to him by the team.  “...e i cuccioli.”

“Where are we going?” asked Emmett, obediently following her, deciding that there was probably an unwritten rule somewhere that said the person the Station Captain’s given the cap to was an honorary Lieutenant or something.  And if there wasn’t?  Well, there should be.

“The Captain’s bunker…it is a separate room si?” 

“Si...I mean yes…but...oh.”  He grinned, getting her point and continuing down the stairs towards the Captain’s bunk, hoping he wasn’t blushing.  “I see what you mean.”

Chapter Text

“Si Teddy, that will work but...ahiiiaaa...no!”

“Carina?  What’s happened?”  Leaning against the wall on the ward at Grey-Sloan, Dr Teddy Altman waited to hear something that gave her a clue as to what had caused Carina to react like that mid sentence and then make some very strange snuffling sounds.

“Sei un cucciolo goloso e la testa di tua sorella non è una scala.”  Carina, despite the telling off she was giving the feistier of the two puppies, was smiling as she picked her up from where she had clambered to, gave her a little head rub and put her down on her lap, for the moment unable to do anything else.  “Guarda dove metti le tue piccole gambe per favore.”  Her hand free, she moved her cellphone up the bed again so it was no longer trapped against her leg.  “Sorry Teddy, that medication will be fine for…”  

“Nevermind that, what just happened? Are you ok?”

“Si, I am fine.”  Carina tucked her hair behind her ear and this time, also made sure to sweep it all back behind her shoulder too, putting her new cap on for added security as ahia the pull was sharp and did not give her happy thoughts.  “But the puppy…”  She yawned, then took the opportunity to switch which hand she was using to hold the weight of the thirsty puppy against her chest and go back to using two hands to hold and feed her, rather than doing everything one handed.  “...thinks her sister is a ladder.”

“Did you just say puppy?”

“Si.”

“You have a puppy?”  Teddy pushed off the wall and wandered over to the window, seeing the snow had started falling again.

“Si...two…”  Carina had felt the tugging on the bottle stop and saw that the puppy who had been drinking the puppy formula with enthusiasm until her sister decided to stand on her head again, had fallen asleep, her mouth still around the bottle’s teat.

“Since when?  Are they a Christmas present?  And show me!”

“Un momento…” said Carina, easing the bottle out of the puppy’s slack jaws and, after a quick glance at the level of formula left in the bottle, leaned slightly to her left and put the almost empty bottle neatly on the floor, next to the other empty one that she had already fed to the more feisty puppy before Teddy had called her to talk about her patient and given the feisty puppy the opportunity to try and ‘escape’ into her hair.  

Putting the sleeping puppy on her lap for a moment next to her now sleepy sister, she untangled the Santa hat from the little legs and gave it a quick shake, making sure not to shake it over the bedding just in case.  Then, with the sort of ease that delivering hundreds of babies gave a person, she managed to pick up and wrap both puppies back up into the Santa hat so they were once again snuggled up with each other, only their heads peeking out before they had noticed they were moving.

“Va bene…”  Repositioning the pillow she had tucked behind her back for comfort so she didn’t feel the cold wall against her shoulder, Carina settled the Santa hat against her chest with her left hand while with her right hand she picked up her phone and turned on the camera.  “...eccoli…”  It took her a moment to get the phone in the right position to show Teddy the puppies.  “...they are asleep now...and cute no?”

“Are they snoring?”  Teddy peered at her phone screen, unable to see anything except the two heads surrounded by what looked like a white furry blanket resting on a dark blue something.

“Si, they just had formula.”  Carina moved her phone further back so she could see Teddy as she spoke to her, propping it up against the side of the puppies’ box, which she’d asked Emmett to put on the end of the bunk.

“Is that a Santa hat?” And, thought Teddy, turning her head to the side in case that gave her magic x-ray vision, is that a Seattle Fire Department shirt you’re wearing?  She was so focused on those two unexpected aspects to Carina’s appearance, that she missed the obvious one.

“Si…”  She looked down and lifted up the bobble on the end of the hat, almost like she was needing to double check it was attached to the hat still.  “...they like it, it is soft…”  Carina tried to think of the name of the style of fabric “...come il pile…” 

“Like what?”  Now Teddy had seen the hat on the Italian’s head, it was taking all her determination to not ask her what it was.  

3am on Christmas Morning when you were talking to your friend who was on call after finishing her long shift was not the moment to start collecting what appeared, at first glance, to be the evidence that a certain Seattle Fire Captain was bringing her Gold Medal winning game to the ‘Sweep Her Off Her Feet at Christmas’ competition.  There was no way Link, Owen or any of the others would beat Maya - not when Carina was already on fluffy cloud 9 with puppies.  Plus Amelia would kill her for getting the dirt on their friend’s Christmas without her...

“Ah…”  Carina hadn’t realised her brain was stuck in Italian, “...like fleece?  In the snow jackets?”  She saw Teddy nod so carried on with the story.  “They are sisters, and this one…”  She gave the feisty one a little head rub, pointing her out to Teddy, “...has decided my hair is her favourite thing and stands on her sister’s head to find it.”  Carina’s face transformed into a rather impressive wince at the memory, which amused Teddy, who was also able to imagine the discomfort Carina must have had, remembering all too vividly how painful an unexpected pull on her hair by her daughter had been.

“What’s her name?” 

“She has not got a name yet.”  Carina had agreed with Andy that naming them was something that either the Shelter people or whoever would adopt them should do, if the adoption was organised quickly enough.  Either way, they were not Station 19’s to name.

“What?  Carina!  What do you mean you haven’t named your puppies?”  Teddy frowned at her friend in disbelief.  “What does Maya call them?”  

“Maya?  She calls them the puppies, but I…”  At first Carina didn’t understand why Teddy was so concerned about the puppies’ name and her reference to Maya, but then it clicked.  “Ah, no Teddy, these are not mine.”  She reached forwards and moved the blanket she’d thrown over her legs to keep her warm so her foot wasn’t in a draught (since she did not have a Santa hat sleeping bag like the puppies), which caused the pillow to slip out from behind her back again.  Sighing, she set about getting that back in the right place so she was comfortable again as she continued her story.  “A homeless guy found them abandoned this morning.  The shelter cannot come and collect them yet, so they are staying at the Station.”

“Oh…”  Teddy decided not to point out that, while that explained how the puppies were not with their mother still, it didn’t actually explain why, at almost 5am on Christmas Day, they were apparently in bed with Carina, unless...  “Where are you?”

“Now?”

“Mmm.”

“The Stationhouse…”  Carina saw the look on Teddy’s face and shook her head at her friend who, in her own slightly calmer way, was just as good at teasing Carina as Amelia was, especially when it came to Maya.  “...the Captain gets their own bunk bed next to their office.”  

“Ah…”  Teddy watched as Carina gave the little heads another gentle scratch, noticing all the subtle and not so subtle clues to where Carina was that she’d overlooked at first in her surprise at seeing the puppies.  “...very cute.”  She decided not to try and untangle Carina’s confusion about the multitude of meanings ‘bunk’ had for firefighters - but she might mention to Maya about how ‘at home’ Carina seemed to be in her ‘bunkbed’ next time she saw her, to see how much she blushed.

“The puppies?”  Carina looked up at her phone and grinned at her friend.   “Si, they are.  Too tiny to be away from mama though, but they are strong...”  she winced slightly when a wriggling paw pushed a little too firmly on her breast, prompting her to nudge them into a slightly less delicate position.  “...and very cute.”

“Them too,” teased Teddy, having actually been talking about Carina, being in the Maya’s bunk, wearing what Teddy had realised was one of the Captain’s uniform shirts when, as well as the SFD patch on the sleeve she’d spotted earlier, she could now see part of the ‘BISHOP’ name tape too.  And there was still that small matter of the SFD cap on her friend’s head.  She was about to say something else when she saw one of the nurses approaching her holding a chart.  “I’m needed it seems, thanks for the help.”

“Nessun problema...call me if you need to.”  She knew Teddy was going to start promising to try not to like she had on their last call earlier.  “It’s fine Teddy, I am on call and Maya’s shift does not finish until later.”

“But you might be asleep, you had a lot of deliveries I heard.”

“Maya’s at a call,” said Carina simply, knowing Teddy would understand that meant Carina was probably going to struggle to get to sleep - she’d had a couple of conversations with the former Army surgeon a couple of months back about how she found it extra difficult to fall asleep when she knew Maya was actually out on a call and not just able to imagine she was sat in her office doing paperwork.  Of course now, it was impossible to pretend that Maya was anywhere other than somewhere potentially dangerous, though the puppies were at least helping her to not stare at the ceiling unable to sleep while time moved too slowly.  “Go see your patients, and ring me if her pressure drops?”  Carina saw Teddy’s nod at this and started stroking the quieter puppy’s head with her fingertip.  “Buon Natale Teddy…”

“Happy Christmas Carina.”  

Ending the call, Teddy couldn’t help but think there was something else that was different about Carina, besides having very cute puppies to fuss over while trying to not get swept up in anxious worrying because she knew Maya was at a call.  It wasn’t just the distraction the puppies provided, it was...Teddy couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but she knew there was something, something good that had to happened since she’d last seen Carina in person in the hospital yesterday morning because...damn, she couldn’t quite put her finger on what was different, but there was...she’d bet her last mince pie on it.

“Oh, Teddy!”  

“Amelia!”  Teddy smiled at the nurse as she took the chart from her, looked through it and signed where it was necessary while she waited for Amelia Shepherd, who she’d thought had gone home hours ago, to finish taking off her coat.  “What are you doing here?”

“On call.”  Coat off, Amelia looked around for the doctor she was supposed to be meeting.  “You?”

“My shift finishes at 9...you have to send yours home as well then?”

“You heard about that?”  

To say Amelia was less than happy she was now on call on Christmas Day was an understatement.  And it was all because someone hadn’t thought to check if the ‘secret’ part of the ‘secret family recipe’ mince pies was cannabis until after two thirds of the staff on the ward most of her patients were in had eaten them, including the doctors she’d had to now cover for because they were too wasted.  What’s more, no one had thought to notice that the pastry top to the pies was decorated with a leaf pattern that was definitely not holly shaped.

“Yeah, Carina was telling me earlier, she’s on call now too.”

“She’s here?”  

Amelia looked around, like she expected the Italian OB/GYN to pop out from behind a chair or something.  Carina’s patients were on a different ward to the now infamous mince pies, but unfortunately for Carina, one of Amelia’s patients needed an OB/GYN consult and Carina, half way through trying to persuade some twins that they really didn’t want to be Christmas babies, sent her Resident who was just starting their shift.  That Resident had been able to confirm it wasn’t an OB/GYN matter at all and, despite being on the ward less than ten minutes, felt that meant they had earned the right to take some of the drug-laden mince pies back for the OB/GYN service as a midnight snack.  To say Carina had not taken it well when she’d been told the news as she was literally leaving the hospital to go see Maya had been an understatement, and Amelia had several new Italian swear words to try out on Meredith and Andrew when she next felt so inclined.

“No, I was just talking to her on the phone...have you seen the puppies?”

“Puppies?  What puppies? Has Carina got a puppy now?”  

“No…”  Teddy was about to say she regretted not having a picture to show Amelia when her phone pinged, and she saw it was Carina sending her a picture which, when she opened it, was a photo she’d just taken of the two sleeping puppies.   They were still using the Santa hat like a sleeping bag, though now the calmer, less feisty sister had literally got the upper paw, which she’d managed to push up against her sister’s nose.  Carina had captioned it ‘but still they snore…’ which made Teddy chuckle.  “...but I bet you she’ll have two before too long.”

“Ooo, tell me everything!” demanded Amelia when she saw the photo on Teddy’s screen, only to groan when she saw the patient she’d been called about being wheeled down the corridor, clearly returning from the MRI scan she’d asked for.  “Breakfast?  I’ll buy…”

Chapter Text

"Weird call," said Vic, getting out of the engine when they returned to the Station. 

"Yeah," agreed Travis, hanging his turnout coat up on the engine so, if they were called out again it would be ready to grab.  "Never seen a donkey in a Santa hat before." 

"Good job guys…" said Maya, looking at her watch and seeing that it was definitely time for breakfast. "... Oh, and Happy Christmas."  She knew she’d said it to Carina earlier, but had no idea if she’d said it to her team as well, but figured potentially saying it twice was better than not saying it at all.

Walking back to her office to a cacophony of shouts of ‘Happy Christmas’ and other variants, she started, smiling as she heard the guys attempting to join in, with varying degrees of musical skill, to the clear light voice of Vic as she stated to sing Christmas carols while they restocked and cleaned  the rigs.  Somehow, she didn't think that Station 19 would ever have a choir if A Shift was anything to go by - not because they didn’t all sound pretty decent once they’d got going, but if Maya was hearing the lyrics right, Shepherds were washing their...she chuckled, hearing as she heard socks, locks and something else that rhymed and probably meant she was supposed to write Travis up for something...but she just laughed and carried on to her office.

Opening her office door, she headed over to the docking station for the tablet so all her scene reports would sync with her computer and start recharging, ready for the next call, whenever and whatever that may be.  That done, she turned around and froze.

Where was her other ‘visitor’ chair?

Why weren’t her scissors in the pot on the desk?

Where was her phone charging cable?

Why was that chair over by her bunk space?

Why was there a trash can by the chair?

What was that sound?

Why was her bunk space door ajar?

Who had turned the light on in there?

Suddenly, the world reanimated again - no longer was she seeing everything in freeze-frame slow motion that meant she could pick out every micro difference between what her office space currently looked like compared to what it should look like based on how it had been left by her earlier.  Instead, the room felt like it was spinning around her, everything becoming a gut twisting blur like she was being pulled into the centre of a whirlpool.

That… 

The thought stuck in her mind, like it had got stuck in her throat if she was speaking, making her hand drift to her throat, wanting to rub the muscles to ease the tension so the words would move again next time she breathed.

Breathe.

That…

It was stuck again, her throat was tighter despite working the muscles with her fingers.  Try harder, breathe harder…

Her next two breaths collided with each other, she was trying to the second one starting before she’d finished exhaling the first one, making her gulp her next couple of attempts at drawing in air, leaving her gasping.

That chair was in the wrong place.  

She needed to move the chair.

Get to the chair Maya … she began to coach herself in a voice that, despite its familiar instinctive cadence and rhythm, now jarred her, its sound making her gut twist into a knot.  Eyes forward Maya…

Eyes…   Maya’s eyes closed, her feet still rooted to the floor as she tried to reach out and grab the thought she’d heard skitter through her swirling, roaring brain, its sound the total opposite of her ‘inner coach’.

Eyes…   There it was again, a bright, light, playful sound that made her think of sunshine and fruity drinks and warm and Carina…

Carina....  

There!  Carina’s eyes, warm, wonderful Carina’s eyes that could sparkle with joy and delight and shine out brighter than the sun…

Panic attack.  This was a panic attack.

Eyes...Eyes Forward ...wait, no…

Maya screwed her eyes more tightly shut, wincing, like she was having a pain response as the Eyes Forward voice tried to get louder, the eyes she was trying to catch up to dimming, becoming cloudy as joy and brightness gave way to sorrow.and...

Pain.

Those eyes were in pain, hurting….losing their light....

Eyes Forward Maya ….taunted the voice… Get to the chair and…

Maya opened her eyes as she inhaled deeply, properly, the breath being pulled right down to the bottom of her lungs, her shoulders open and her throat relaxing.

Eyes Forward could fuck off.

Taking another breath, she blinked, the anxiety leaving her with each exhale, the room coming back into focus, her lips quirking upwards slightly as she acknowledged she was putting herself back together, something Dr Lewis and Carina always encouraged and reminded her to take a moment to do.

She was back.

Breathe.

Breathe.

Blinking, she now looked at the in focus room again, only this time with a calmer gaze…

Her second ‘visitor’ chair had clearly been moved somewhere to be useful...probably her bunk given the open door, light on and Carina leaning against the door frame wearing Maya’s spare uniform shirt and some running shorts.

Carina.

Carina moved the chair and used her things and turned on the light in her bunk and stayed.

Carina stayed.

“You stayed.”  Maya had a feeling she was looking a total idiot right now, her uniform clean but crumpled after the latest call so at least it didn’t need to go in the laundry, stood in the middle of her office grinning like a total lovestruck fool.

“Si.  I’m so proud of you bella.”  Carina let her head drop to rest against the door frame, her right foot resting on top of her left as she just drank in the sight of her Maya, clearly starting to feel the fatigue of her crazy long shift, but still so strong and capable.  She’d heard the office door open and expected to be discovered by Maya seconds later, but when she recognised the sounds she was hearing, she’d put the puppies down on the bed, preparing to help her girlfriend manage the attack.  But she’d not got further than the doorway, staying quietly watching with love filled pride at how Maya was working through her routine and telling that brutta voce forte dal suo passato a fanculo.  

“Me?”  Maya moved across her office a little way, part of her wanting to rush up and resume their earlier kiss exactly as before, wondering how many spins they could manage if the alarm didn’t sound, but the bigger part just wanting to take in the sight of her girlfriend.

Her super-hot, wonderful, amazing girlfriend who was leaning at the door to her bunk wearing shorts that enabled Maya to see every inch of legs that were lithe and smooth and she could still remember the feeling of them wrapped around her as they kissed, strong from spending hours stood by patients bringing life into the world and saving it in equal measure.

“Up here bella…” teased Carina, shaking her head with amusement as she waited and watched her girlfriend literally drag her eyeballs up from her ankles: Maya really loved her legs.

“That’s my uniform…” Maya’s words were sticking in her throat again, though this time through arousal and a whole other emotions that were the total opposite of a panic attack.

“Si, I…”  Carina’s confidence wobbled for a moment, wondering if she’d stepped over one of the invisible lines Americans seemed to delight in drawing around everything so nothing was simple.

“...being sexy and hot…”  Maya took another slow movement forwards, her peripheral vision somehow managing to take the time to check her office door was closed without her eyes moving away from her girlfriend… “...you make my uniform look…”  She shook her head, grinning in disbelief, still slowly moving towards her very amused, beautiful girlfriend.  “I work in this uniform, it’s not sexy, it’s boring and functional…but you...”  She stopped completely, an arm’s length from Carina, still unable to get her brain to move past the idea that there was any way, ever, that she would find the Seattle Fire Department uniform an essential part of a hot fantasy, yet she had very real proof right in front of her.

She didn’t know how clothes did it - she had tried to work it out repeatedly including going as far as to measuring some of her girlfriend’s tops to try and understand what could only be the secret-Italian-clothing-size-secrets that American garments didn’t know, but that wasn’t the answer.  And here was her uniform shirt providing definitive, glorious, traitorous proof.  

It was Carina-magic, it had to be...because how else could perfectly ordinary shirts and tops which sat squarely and neatly on Maya, when worn by Carina know to just...drape, like they were now made of the softest, finest fabrics and sit so far from the ‘squared away’ that Maya’s hands should be itching to tidy that shirt back to, like they had to endure when on line up at the Academy.  Even seeing another uniform shirt that off-centre should see her instinctively want to check her own by reaching up to pick up her shirt by its shoulder seams and move it so that each shoulder epaulet was, well, on each shoulder, the collar resting, all the way around the base of her neck, neat, tidy and centred.

She knew that shirt, she was wearing its twin this very second after all, and there was no way it could drape itself over Carina’s body like that without magic.  It wasn’t supposed to be able to leave a gap between the base of that that long neck that Maya could spend hours exploring with lips and tongue if given half a chance, wasn’t supposed to sit off centre across the back just enough so she could see the full curve of collarbones she loved to kiss along, framed by the sloping muscles strong from surgery as neck swept into shoulder on one side, yet tantalisingly hidden by the shirt, sitting so properly against her neck on the other.

“Is that…”  Maya swallowed thickly, only finally, finally noticing that the top three buttons below the collar one were undone.  She didn’t need to count them - she knew from memory, could read the shirt like she could read the smoke in a fire, having put on the shirt and buttoned it literally thousands of times: it was a six button shirt, seven if you counted the collar (she didn’t) - one button just below the top of the waistband, underneath the belt when the shirt was tucked in, five between belt and the top of the name tape.  Three buttons open and the shirt gaped, working its way up so it didn’t quite sit smooth on the shoulders, needing to be tugged back down, once at the front and then once on each side, otherwise it created enough of a gap at the bottom for the belt buckle to rub the skin on her stomach raw if it happened while she was in her full kit.  It’s why they wore their undershirts even in hot fires, because honestly, who thought it was a good idea to have metal clasps against sweaty skin when you were literally working out in an inferno?

Three buttons open didn’t create a wide enough gap at the throat for more than a fingertip sized patch of a ‘nice’ bra show without actually pulling the shirt edges apart...very helpful when trying to torture Carina on Facetime as it meant she could start the call ‘prepared’, with the small, functional shirt buttons already unfastened (and even then, she’d needed four buttons to make it easy and soft and not make her feel like she was doing a Superman shirt ripping impression), but not this.  

This was Carina-magic.

“...the set I…”  She swallowed again, hoping it would help her find her words, but it made it harder, only drawing attention to how dry her mouth felt, like she’d just spent three hours in the heart of a five alarm inferno, rather than three hours in a fire-free traffic accident in light snowfall...or thirty seconds with her newest, hottest fantasy of her girlfriend for those incredibly frustrating moments when their shifts kept them apart for days.

“Si.”  Carina glanced down at herself, as if checking she was still in fact wearing the rich, dark orange bra that was the first piece of lingerie Maya had bought her.  “It is festive, and from you, so…”  She started to do up the lowest button, not actually realising she’d been putting on such a show, pausing when she heard a strange sound from her girlfriend.  Looking back up, she had to work hard to contain her laughter at how her girlfriend’s face had changed.  “...you are still on shift no?”

“Yes…”

“The button, he was not for you…”  Tired Carina gradually ‘lost’ her English and eventually, at total exhaustion, could only speak in sleepy Italian that Maya never understood but found very, very adorable.  Between awake Carina and total exhaustion, her English was increasingly peppered with random Italian words she failed to translate before she said them, or, as was the case here, she translated the word back into English but forgot that she didn’t need to remember the gender of the word, and instead translated that too.

“Oh?”  

As much as she might have loved the idea of forgetting completely about work, her team, professionalism and everything except making love to Carina right there, until she could only muster random words of English amongst drowsy, lyrical Italian that Maya loved to hear, now the visual stimulation was dialed down a level, her brain was starting to work again and remember she’d originally only intended to pop into her office to put her tablet on charge before getting some breakfast.  Yes they both loved each other, and yes that love brought with it passion and physical cravings that could consume them with an intensity that was unlike anything either had experienced with anyone ever before, but they also loved their jobs and treasured the privilege that was being able to help people with their hard earned skills.  And if that meant watching her girlfriend do up a button she’d forgotten was undone, that’s what Maya would do...though not without being very curious as to who it had been undone for.

“Si...the puppies are piccoli riscaldatori come te amore mio.”

“The puppies?”  

Maya recognised enough of the rest of Carina had said - she had been accused of being a ‘piccoli riscaldatori’ often enough early on when they’d slept together as in been asleep in the same bed together, with Maya apparently radiating a lot of heat in the night, so much that Carina had been overheating and either kicking one of Maya or the bedding away or waking up massively dehydrated with a horrible headache and a very Italian temper.

After a bit of experimentation with a different weight comforter on the bed as part of making Maya’s bed become their bed, Maya was no longer getting kicked, though she still was more often than not waking up to find Carina wrapped around her (which was perfect) and the comforter on the floor on Carina’s side of the bed, which wasn’t great.  But that was better than waking up cold because Carina was thoroughly wrapped up with the entire comforter around her with Maya’s pillow the only part of Maya that had made it inside Carina’s nest.

So, after a bit more experimentation which resulted in some of her well washed team kit from training camps and competitions held in hotter, more humid climates claimed by Carina as sleepwear (so when Carina started to get too warm, she didn’t get uncomfortably tangled in a sweaty top) and a couple of new t-shirts for Maya that sleepy Carina found easier to recognise as being the thing she wanted to cuddle up to (more Carina-magic at work as far as Maya was concerned, and she loved it), Maya managed to still have some of the comforter by the time she woke up more often than not.  

Which had just left what turned out to be the most difficult part of it all - open the window or turn down the heat?  Not only did firefighters and doctors have rather different viewpoints professionally, but Carina’s Meditterranean upbringing was in a completely different climate culture to Maya’s Pacific North West one.  But it did mean that Maya would never forget that while fire and heating were masculine in Italian, the window was not - hearing Carina scream ‘you opened her’ in chilled shock mid sex when her back met the ‘cold Maya, not fresh, cold’ air had made that one piece of Italian grammar she’d never get wrong.  

Finally though, compromise had been reached (and Maya had to agree, the ‘scientific’ approach of testing to see what factors created a ‘cold not fresh’ draught straight over their bed that Carina proposed had been very, very enjoyable), and Carina had been happily wrapping herself around her ‘little heater’ each night without overheating, Maya wasn’t waking up either freezing or worried about inadequate ventilation and both were sleeping (and not sleeping) in their bed, together, very well.  

“I fed them while I talked to Teddy about this patient we now have...and I could have put them in their box but they helped…”  She shrugged, not needing or wanting to put into words the thought they both shared and understood.

Resting with the puppies in their Santa hat snuggled up to her was not only better for the puppies’ long term chances, which is what they’d both say if anyone else knew to ask, but Maya knew that what the puppies had really done had helped her girlfriend her to feel more at ease in the exact spot where Maya had hurt her the most.  It had taken Carina quite a while to actually be comfortable even acknowledging that there were two doors off the Captain’s office.  She was happy to drift into the short corridor bit behind the second door that was Maya’s direct route from her desk to her kit and the engines, looking with fascination at the array of equipment the firefighters could pull on in seconds, while waiting for Maya to finish a phone call or report.  But the Captain’s Bunk was a space she, before just now, was only recently comfortable in, and only with Maya there too, otherwise her mind became devious and asked a lot of questions she did not want to think about. 

“...it was too warm through the shirt too.”  It was the first time she’d borrowed one of Maya’s uniform shirts - she’d worn her uniform t-shirts and other SFD logoed clothes before at home, but never something that could only belong to Maya, and never at the Stationhouse.

“Ah.”

“Bella?”  Carina’s smile slipped a bit and she caught her lip in her teeth, not wanting to try and guess what was going on in her girlfriend’s complex, wonderful, thinking, knowing know she could be thinking about the puppies, her uniform, flame temperatures or a hundred other things and none of that meant she was upset with, or not happy with Carina.  But it did make it a little hard if Maya forgot Carina wasn’t a mind reader.  “Parole per favore?”

“Hmm? Oh…”  Hearing the softly spoken Italian nudged Maya and saw her grin return and her feet move as she closed the final space between them.  “I was thinking how lucky the puppies were to get to snuggle with you…” she said, meaning it completely sincerely, as she slipped her hand behind her girlfriend’s neck and drew her in for a slow, gentle kiss.

Chapter Text

“You want to stay for breakfast?” asked Maya when their lips parted, Carina shifting to use Maya as her leaning spot, rather than the doorframe.  

She wouldn’t normally even think of trying to persuade her girlfriend to spend her down-time from the hospital just hanging out at the Station while Maya was on shift - it just wasn’t what they did, breaking the sanctity of the team space like that.  But today was different, special even: with it being Christmas Day, most teams, 19 especially, welcomed and expected their teammates’ family popping in if they wanted to, Captains and (most) Chiefs understanding that for all their dedication to Seattle, that responsibility was easier to bear if parents got to hug children and loved ones share an in-person ‘Happy Christmas’.  And, while Maya had always worked Christmas Day and never had a visitor, this year was different, not just for her and Carina because they were together, but for 19 too: their Captain had ‘family’ to be welcomed.

“Si?”  

Despite being fine with Maya needing to be on shift for Christmas Day, Carina had only ended up not working it because she’d reached a limit she hadn’t known existed for how long she could continue on a particular shift pattern.  So rather than being a ‘day off’, Christmas Day had become the time she had to spend outside the hospital to allow her body to adjust to the next shift pattern...something that the lawyers thought was very important and ended up being completely irrelevant as she ended up being on call anyway.  So, when she stopped by the station to say hi, she’d been fine going home to their empty apartment, happy to sleep a bit, and do some laundry and other not at all Christmas things until Maya came home in the evening.  But that was feeling harder to do now she could not ignore that it was Christmas Day, now she had been able to feel like she had a family she was part of, even when Maya wasn’t physically with her in that moment.  But she also knew that this was Maya’s workspace, that this was a day just like any other, and she didn’t want to get in Captain Bishop’s way.

“But I do not want to wear through my welcome.”

“Wear out your welcome,” corrected Maya easily, “and you wouldn’t be.”  

Maya looked, for the first time, into her bunkspace, seeing her other visitor chair sitting in the corner with the box-bed, seeing that it was needed because the wheeled base chair that was usually tucked into the bunk’s small desk was too narrow for the box.  Instead, that desk chair now had Carina’s own clothes on it, having been discarded for the clothes she’d found in the drawers and small wardrobe unit at the far side of the room.  Such dramatic adjustment to her space would have seen her start to itch to restore the order she was accustomed to a few months ago, and if it had been done by someone who wasn’t Carina, probably still would.  But Maya had worked so hard to try and repair some of her most broken pieces, wanting to prioritise the parts that the woman she loved was most likely to accidentally stumble against.  

Maya’s space was still a space that needed to be ordered and controlled, but it was Maya’s and Carina’s space, and while she sometimes took a moment to adjust to what it was that Carina was currently wanting to do in their shared space, she managed to make that adjustment with sharpness quickly followed by calmer, centred dialogue with Carina rather than fast burning white hot anger and fury.  And even the sharpness was lessening over time as her brain learned new techniques for understanding situations that previously were assessed and dealt with in a split second of angry judgement, the more the fractures and breaks deep within her were reset and given a chance to heal and strengthen.

“If your team are sure…”  Carina lifted her head from where she had tucked it in between her girlfriend’s shoulder and neck, pressing a soft, light kiss to the underside of Maya’s jaw, feeling how relaxed the muscles there were, prompting Carina to kiss there again, this time in instinctive joy at how wonderfully brilliant her love was doing at taking care of her mental health for herself first, and for those that loved her.  “...as well as you bella.”

“Travis had taught Ben how to make French toast but I’m supposed to ask if they can have Ben’s cooking lesson as a Christmas present?” Maya had no idea what the message meant, but had been made to understand it would make perfect sense to her girlfriend.

“Mamma mia...”  Carina groaned, smiling as she rolled her eyes at Maya, realising what was going on.  She’d only made French Toast that first morning because it was quick and there was only one egg and she understood her pan but only ever had burnt bread from Maya’s toaster.  But it now had a reputation at Station 19 that had revealed how competitive her girlfriend’s teammates were.  “Wait, it was Travis who taught Ben the french toast he made for Miranda’s birthday breakfast?”  Carina reluctantly pulled away from Maya’s body and went to sit on the bed, her feet cold from the draught that came through the space under the office door.

“Maybe?”  Maya went into the room and looked around, her eyes coming to rest on the puppies in their Santa hat on her bunk.  “Can they go back in their box?” she asked nervously, nodding to the puppies. liking the idea of stretching out on her bunk for the half hour or so it would take for the rigs to be restocked and breakfast to be almost ready.  

“Si..” Carina was about to go on to explain how the puppies hadn’t been loose on the bed, thinking that was maybe what was prompting Maya’s request, only to see Maya was unlacing her boots and taking them off, leaving them tidily by her desk.  “,,,you want to lie down?”

“I thought we could lie down, together, for a few minutes?”  She unclipped the heavy bunch of keys she carried when she was on shift, their weight split between her belt and pocket, and put them and her phone on the small table by the bunk, next to Carina’s phone and hospital pager.  “If you want to?”

“Si.”  Carina stood up and with practiced hands, scooped up the puppies and transferred them to their box-bed, then hung back, waiting for Maya to lie down first, her heart filling even more with love when she saw Maya was lying on the bunk in such a way that if Carina wanted to cover her legs with the blanket or comforter she could do.  “But what about breakfast?”

“Andy’s texting me when they start making it, they’re doing the rigs first.”  

If Carina hadn’t been here, Maya would have gone back out after putting her tablet on charge and helped.  Sure, ‘Captain doesn’t stack hoses’ was something she tried to respect most of the time, knowing it was as much to maintain the team’s ability to sound off and clear their heads after a call as it was to a way of a Captain showing they trusted their team to keep their equipment safe and ready, but she missed her friends and missed the physicality of the activity.  Plus, it never did any harm to remind them that she still had the same skills they had, and would be at their back whatever the situation, whether it was outside in control of the scene or in the heart of it alongside them.

“And then French Toast?” Carina watched as Maya shifted her hips so she was comfortable, her head resting on her right arm which she’d tucked behind her head, the pillow from that side of the bunk propped up against the wall.

“Yes.”  Comfortable, Maya lifted her left arm up, inviting Carina to snuggle, an invitation Carina accepted at speed.  “Which you are apparently going to give a cooking class in?  How did that happen?”

“Si, Miranda’s birthday breakfast…”  Carina slid her legs under the comforter, wanting to warm her feet up, then, looking down at Maya, carefully unfastened the Captain’s badge, not wanting to end up with it imprinted on her face.

“You know about that?”  Maya waited while Carina got comfortable, then lowered her left arm and wrapped it around her girlfriend, feeling some of her tiredness and body weariness seep from her into the bunk.  Ben had, since he was missing all of Miranda’s birthday, had tried to surprise her to breakfast before he went to his shift.  After struggling to come up with something that he thought would be suitably ‘birthday’ like he’d started asking everyone what their pick would be.  “It was Andy’s fault…” she joked, remembering that when Andy’s breakfast pick was something Robert cooked that she couldn’t describe and therefore had her declared unhelpful, she’d suggested French Toast based on Maya’s rave review.

“Trust me, it is not something I will forget.”  Carina turned her head so she could look at her Maya, still holding her Captain’s badge in her hand.  “First I knew was Bailey telling me I needed to MRI your brain.”

“Excuse me?”  Maya hadn’t heard this story before, or if she had been told it, she hadn’t been listening.  “Did I forget this?”

“No, I forgot to tell you.  It was…” Carina thought for a moment. “...the day that five-alarm fire started when we were going to have dinner with your mother.”  That day had been the last day Maya had gone to the station not knowing what she’d be doing for a full week, as they’d ended up going to a five-alarm fire on the far side of the city which had taken a fortnight to completely put out, but for the first week had seen all of 19 shuttling between the scene and the nearest stationhouses, where they fell into the nearest empty bunk, slept for six hours, ate some food and went straight back to the fire.

“And my brain needed checking because?”

“Because apparently,”  Carina reached up with the hand not holding the badge and started playing with her girlfriend’s shirt buttons.  “Based on Miranda’s breakfast that day, if you thought french toast was better than sex you had a problem like Amelia.”  Carina laid her head back down on Maya’s shoulder and slid her hand through the opening she’d made in her girlfriend’s shirt with her button playing.

“Is it weird I’m not worried about how your boss knows you’re amazing in bed?” teased Maya, running her fingers through Carina’s hair and gently scratching all the right spots to make her purr like a very happy cat.  “I’m sorry I missed you being able to tell me about that at the time.”

“Va bene bella…”  Carina really had forgotten she’d never told Maya that, nor had she begrudged not seeing her, instead everytime the news said the fire was ‘being brought under control’ and there were interviews with people who had been rescued, she had thought of her girlfriend and felt her chest swell with pride.  “...you did not have manure at that call?” she asked, testing the new word she’d learned from their time in the Beanery after the last call.

“No, still animals though, but they stayed in their trailer.”  As strange as the call had been from her perspective as a firefighter, it wasn’t the sort of strange that made a particularly interesting story, and anyway, she was much more interested in her girlfriend’s shift.  “But you haven’t told me about your shift yet.  Eleven babies and seven mothers, that means what, two sets of twins?  Or another set of triplets?”  

“Si...two sets of triplets, but one mama was already admitted.  So it was two mamas with six bambine, and five mamas for the other five...”

As the sky began to lighten, and to the occasional faintly heard shout from the team as they finished the rig restocking, Carina told Maya about her shift and why the NICU nurses were going to get a box of cakes from her when her next shift started.  

And Maya didn’t think about running.

Well, almost - she did think about it for a moment….she thought about how happy she was not running right now, but instead lying in her bunk, listening to her girlfriend tell her about her shift.

Chapter Text

“I didn’t know you’d thought about getting a dog…” said Maya as she waited in her office for Carina to finish getting dressed, having been kicked out of her own bunk for being the wrong type of helpful.

“Eh?”  Carina paused in unbuttoning the borrowed uniform shirt, having been thinking about something in Italian when Maya spoke, as she shifted back into English.  “Oh, si.  But it was only a quick one.”  Hearing Maya’s silence, she moved into her girlfriend’s eyeline as she slipped the uniform shirt off, the closed blinds on the office windows meaning no one else got a view they weren’t entitled to.  “Fast idea?”  Maya’s face still told her she wasn’t yet near enough to something that was recognisable to Americans, so had a final go.  “Rushed thought?”

“Oh, passing fancy.  And no, I have no idea why we say that.”

“Well it was only a passing fancy I had, before I met Dr Bailey and the others.”

“What sort of dog?” asked Maya as she groaned and turned away from her bunk door, knowing Carina was right, her presence was the wrong sort of helpful when the team were upstairs just sorting out some breakfast that they wanted Carina’s opinion on.  Plus, now she thought about food, Maya did have to admit she was hungry, and as easy as it was to ignore that type of hunger when they were at home in favour of loving her beautiful girlfriend, that was not something she could as easily ignore when she was at the Station and knew she was still several hours from the end of her shift.   “I mean, if you had been able to get one when you first came here, what sort of dog would you have chosen?”

“I didn’t mind, but probably a younger one would have made the adjustment to being quiet in my office better,” explained Carina, stepping into her trousers as she spoke.  “All I really thought was it should be a rescue.”  Not wanting to torment her girlfriend who she knew did need to get some breakfast, because Carina had been hearing her stomach make its ‘feed me’ noises for the last few minutes before they’d heard the team heading upstairs, Carina pulled her own top on.  “Va bene bella, you can look again,” she said, turning away from Maya to step into her shoes.  “And then I discovered many landlords here do not like dogs, so that was also something.”

As she spoke, Carina turned, picking up her phone and pager from beside the bed, then looked up at Maya.  “What?”  

She saw something strange in Maya’s eyes, like she’d been speaking in Italian for the last five minutes without realising it, but knew she’d been speaking in English apart from the odd word like ‘ok’ that Maya definitely knew, which made her think she’d possibly misunderstood Maya’s original question’s purpose. “Can I not be a dog person?”  She pulled a face at another thought.  “I do not like cats much.”

Carina had thought that mentioning cats would at least get some sort of reaction from her firefighter, having learned from the stories Andy and Robert had told her, that yes, firefighters did spend a fair bit of time having to try and get those particular animals from places they could get into but not then out of.

“Bella?”  Carina moved over to stand close to Maya, trying to read her, relieved when she felt her arms slip around her waist.  “Have I said something wrong?”

“What? No!”  

She would stay now, stay present in the moment, not allow herself to be pulled onto a path that only made sense as long as she was sprinting towards a distant spot just over the far horizon.  She could remember what Dr Lewis had helped her to understand, she would not let that fizzing in her muscles become a rage.

Carina had said she was a dog person.

That was new.  

Why didn’t she know that?  

Because she hadn’t asked.  

She could have asked, if she thought to.

She didn’t think about dogs.

But they’d been talking about dogs.

So she was thinking about dogs now.

Now.  Stay now.

No time like the present, the present where they were talking about dogs.

Now. She would ask now.

“You’re a dog person?” asked Maya quietly, looking at Carina and instinctively trying to mimic her girlfriend’s breathing - if Carina hadn’t been there, Maya would have been taking herself through the drills they were taught in the Academy to help them keep their breathing steady so their oxygen tanks lasted.

“Si.”  Carina reached up and tucked the strand of hair that had fallen across Maya’s face behind her ear.

“I did not know that.”  Maya took another steadying breath.  “It surprised me.” 

There, this moment, stay in it, she mentally recited, each phrase matched with a breath. Focus on the small moment that started it all, don't think yet about the spiralling track rushing ahead, don't listen to the chants of 'eyes forward' your subconscious hasn't yet unlearned. 

"I don't think about dogs." 

"It is not an everyday sort of thought," agreed Carina quietly, knowing that the gears were working hard in her girlfriend's head as she tried to find the thought that made her pour gas on a spark and make it an inferno. It was a very Maya way of looking at her mental health, and Carina did sometimes wonder if she should be worrying about the analogy, but then she reminded herself that it needed to make sense to Maya not her, and she moved on. "And I had not thought it myself for months, years maybe."

“I don’t know if I am a dog person.  I don’t know much about dogs, they just feel like they’re chaotic and messy and have minds of their own and are not like books on our bookshelf that are patient and let me get used to them and don't make French Toast that's like sex and I…" She caught hold of her runaway thoughts and pushed them to a stop with a few steadying breaths again, trying not to be distracted by the memories of the panic she’d felt when Carina moved in.

Stay in the moment.

Stay now.

Breathe.

“Okay…”  Carina could see from what she’d learned about Maya’s life growing up that there would have been no space in Lane Bishop’s controlling schedule for something as random as a dog, but there were other ways a firefighter might meet dogs perhaps?  “...have you worked with dogs?  Are Fire Dogs a thing?”

“Fire Dogs are a thing,” confirmed Maya, catching hold of the factual question as it went past her ears.  “The Department has Search and Rescue Dogs and a couple of Arson Investigation Dogs I think still.”  She didn’t remember seeing any news about the Arson Dogs since she’d become Captain, which either meant there hadn’t been much arson, which was unlikely, or maybe they’d caught a cold or something.  “I’ve never trained as a handler, but we’ve had calls with them.  And sometimes we’ve had a dog in the station.”  Fortunately she’d been delivering her first baby in the showers when Sullivan and Warren had had to cope with an ex narcotics sniffer dog who had apparently been a bit too keen to make sure they knew he had all his teeth, but there had been other dogs over the years come in with their owners for one reason or another, plus some rescues.  “And rescued a few.” Including this shift, obviously.

“How do you feel about them?”

“Not much, I mean, they’re just there, like a different sort of person…”  Maya’s panic was dispersing as she concentrated on staying in the now, not thinking about 99 moments ahead when a whole load of ‘eyes forward’ assumptions put her somewhere that left her spinning off balance in swirling chaos, her body only able to handle fighting into some space so she could run and run until she’d outrun the chaos and found the calm that isolation guaranteed.  “...doing their thing.”  Their random, chaotic, messy thing.

“Do they worry you?”

“Dogs?”

“Si, they have teeth and claws and make noise…”

“Oh, no, I don’t mind them like that.  Cats are way worse.”  Maya saw her girlfriend’s eyes start to sparkle with some amusement, the best sort of amusement that came from Carina being delighted by her and not because she was being laughed at, the sort of delight that made her stomach flip with excitement the same way it did when she hit that next gear and did that first sprint on the back straight in the final and knew she was going to be Olympic Champion.  It was exactly the sort of feeling that silenced the ‘eyes forward’ voice and helped her to settle again.  “Why?”

“That’s what a dog person is bella.”

“It is?”  Maya frowned, thinking about this, not having thought ‘being a dog person’ could mean something as straightforwardly simple as having an absence of unilateral fear or distrust of them.  “Oh, good.”  She leaned into Carina’s body a little more, the tension dropping a level in her arms and back as she had less of the panic to fight against.  “Why did you think you’d like one?”

“A dog?”

“Yes.  Did you have one in Italy?”

“Not since I was a little girl, before Andrea came here.”

“Is that why you thought about one when you came here?”

“Si...but not because we had one the last time Andrea and I were close.  I thought about a dog for their friendship.”  She frowned a little as she remembered what had brought her to Seattle, knowing some of it was relevant to why she’d thought about getting a dog, but not wanting to distract from their current discussion.  “It was not my plan to be here like this, to be so lucky with friends and love.”  She answered Maya’s shy smile with a more confident one of her own as she continued.  “To Andrea I am his big sister and sometimes that makes me his enemy.  To a dog, their person is their hero, friend and family: if that person offers them love, they do not make them their enemy.”  She shrugged, knowing she could probably start crying if she thought about this too much more, glad that she’d previously explained to Maya what she meant, so she did not have to talk about her brother’s mental health in detail this morning, when her new family, their family was upstairs in the Beanery, though she would if she needed to, if Maya needed to ask.  She’d learned through her own therapy work that she couldn’t demand Maya trust her with her whole self if she then only shared selectively.  “Based on how bad I knew it might be with Andrea, I thought about getting a dog.”

Before, Maya might have reacted to Carina’s statement about offering love sees you get treated as the enemy, thinking it was a dig at her, causing them to have an extra emotional argument, but they had been fortunate with brilliant therapists who had helped them to each understand the other’s relationship to that statement. 

 For Carina, when she said she became her brother’s enemy, she was talking very specifically about the paranoia fueled episodes in which he was literally fighting her in every way he could think of, convinced she would only be happy when he was destroyed, which was how he saw his ‘treatment’s effect’ when in that mania state.  

For Maya, she knew she could react badly to her girlfriend’s offer of love and support, had been doing so from their very first days of ‘friendship’, lashing out and pushing her away, which made her feel like the ‘enemy’ Carina spoke of, because she could see her actions hurt her, just as she saw Andrew’s reactions hurt her too.  It had been bumpy and exhausting trying to untangle that knotty mess of emotion, for both to find the words to explain their fears and concerns, but they got there.  

Loving someone, realised Maya one morning, when she ran through so many puddles she had to throw away her running shoes afterwards, meant you had the privilege to help them work through the harsher truths when they were needed, and to have their help when your turn came.  This was possible because they held up a mirror to help you see you for yourself.  When what you saw in the mirror was ugly, denial made you react - you could aim at the image in the mirror or you could aim at the person holding the mirror.

Maya had tried to get rid of the truth she was seeing in the ‘mirror’ by aiming for Carina directly only once, and she still felt physically sick if she thought about it, though at least she didn’t actually throw up anymore.   The rest of the time, when she’d struggled, she actually been aiming at the ‘mirror’ - not fighting Carina’s love, but fighting the truth that she’d first hear as a lie....and now, months later, she was even trying to not do that, not fight the truth because she’d assume it was a lie, but try to work through the situation and battle through to understand the issue instead.  

She didn’t always manage it, but increasingly she was doing better at it, and even when she struggled with it, she never, according to Carina who was emphatic on this point, ever treated Carina like the ‘enemy’ in the way Andrew did after that first time.  That knowledge then made the battle to come to terms with the abuse and problems of her past twice as important and rewarding to Maya: feeling herself heal was a valuable reward for the hard work in itself, but knowing that she also became better at loving Carina?  That was equally treasured progress.

In turn, Carina had managed to find a way of accepting Maya’s support for her during her low moments, by finding a way of sharing a part of herself she was so accustomed to locking away behind many layers: even if all she could share was her gratitude for Maya’s willingness to listen and to support and not yet strong enough to attempt to unlock the layers she’d been relying on to support her for most of her life.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was the little steps that were taking her along the road to being able to share more with Maya, and towards protecting herself with her firefighter’s love and strength and fewer locked layers.

“That sounds nice…” agreed Maya cautiously, still unable to see past the mess and the chaos of another personality in her ordered spaces and existence, but seeing how coming in from a difficult day to an uncomplicated welcome would have helped her girlfriend.  “Not the Andrew being bad part, the dog as a friend part..” clarified Maya, not wanting to upset her girlfriend by appearing to be insensitive to her brother’s struggles, even if they were talking about a point in time when Maya hadn’t known of either DeLuca.  The dog as a friend part did sound nice, now she’d said it out loud, she could see now how having a friend like that could maybe even have helped Maya if not for…

“Dogs can be trained Maya,” teased Carina gently, running her fingertip lightly down her cheek, offering a tiny nudge to ‘stay now’, guessing where her thoughts were wandering to, knowing her girlfriend.  “Possibly more easily than probies,” she added, recalling some of the frustrated rants she’d listened to in good humour when Maya had needed to just vent about the problems from having two probies to deal with, with two different sets of challenges to overcome.  “And interns.”  She too was guilty of late of despairing about the people supposed to be learning from her.  “And you have enough running shoes to not suffer if one gets chewed by mistake.”

“I guess…”  Panic was starting to fade, her traitorous brain quickly pivoting to trying to image what morning call might look like if Probie-Proper and Probie were some sort of long limbed, lumbering dog breed, like the Great Danes they’d had to rescue from a collapsed culvert a couple of years back, making her smile at the silly image.  She didn’t really think of Sullivan and Emmett Dixon like that, but it was an amusing image for a moment.  And Carina was right, she did have far too many pairs of running shoes, reluctant to throw them away until they were practically worn through as long as they weren’t giving her blisters.  Perhaps they’d get thrown away quicker if they finished life as dog chews? 

As Maya found her anxieties were being replaced by cautious excitement as her ‘dark and messy’ assumptions were replaced with more neutral, lighter ones, she drew Carina back into her body, her distrust of her own muscles gone now the fizz had burnt itself out, not needing to put effort into being present in the ‘now’ with Carina.  “...would you still like a dog?”

“It does not matter.”  Carina kissed Maya’s forehead, pleased to feel the anxious tension had left her.  “The hospital, our shifts, it is not kind…”  

“Forget about that, would you still like a dog if you could have one in a way that was kind?” asked Maya again, resting her head on Carina’s shoulder as she looked at something to Carina’s right.

“Do I still have you in this ipotetica?” asked Carina, seeing where Maya was looking, towards the puppies, and starting to wonder…

“Yes.  Hypothetically, If we could have a dog in a way that was kind, would you like to have a dog still?”

“Maybe?”  Carina eased back from Maya just enough so she could study her expression, checking for any of the little clues she’d learned suggested Maya might be doing what she thought Carina wanted rather than what Maya actually felt.  

There were none.

“Si….but it is impossible no?”

“No.  I mean yes, it is possible.”  She realised she suddenly wanted to be able to adopt these two little puppies with Carina with everything she had, wanted to be able to have the chaos and the mess that two dogs would no doubt bring into their life and their space, wanted to have everything that set her adrenalin spiking and heart hammering when it had flown through her mind before, but now she saw everything else too.  She saw the laughter and smiles, the licks and scratches...she saw the love and she loved it.  “Do you think they would like me?”

“You have not met them yet?”

“No…”  With everything else that had been going on, Maya had always managed to find a way to never be near the puppies when they needed something, and with no shortage of volunteers from the team when what was needed was non-specific fuss, Maya had stayed away.  “...I don’t know what to do.”

“Bellissima…” Carina kissed Maya softly on the lips, wrapping her in a tight hug for a moment, then pulled her towards the bunk and the makeshift box bed that was sitting on the chair.  “...you are Captain Maya Bishop…” she whispered, making her girlfriend’s cheeks colour at the pride in her voice.  “...you are excellent at whatever you put your mind to…”  She leaned forwards and reached into the makeshift box bed, lifting out the Santa hat with its sleeping residents inside.  Her plan was to pass it to Maya for her to hold, but the look of total rigid terror on her girlfriend’s face when she held the hat out to her made her rethink, quickly.  “Va bene...put the box on the floor and sit on the chair.”

“What?”  Maya’s eyes were locked on the two little heads peeking out of the Santa hat, arms rigid at her sides, like she was in line up at Morning Call at the Academy. They were so tiny, so breakable...

“The box, move so I can sit on your lap.”

“Carina, I…”  Maya’s eyes darted around her, taking in the familiar landscape of her bunk, like she’d forgotten where they were, which she sort of had.

“Maya…”  

Maya was toast the moment she looked at Carina - she’d been a sucker for that particular smile since the first time they’d spoken in Joe’s, and she’d changed her mind about drinking alone.  So she picked up the box and put it on the desk, then sat down on the chair, making a conscious effort to relax her shoulders and arms.

“Grazie bellissima…”  Carina sat down on Maya’s lap, her right shoulder resting against the front of Maya’s left shoulder, the puppies, still happily asleep in their Santa hat, cradled against her chest.  “Va bene…”  She shuffled her hips slightly, trying to nudge the bunch of keys once more in Maya’s pocket so it wasn’t poking into her thigh quite as sharply, only to be saved from bruising when Maya somehow managed to work the bunch out of her pocket so they hung from her belt. “...Grazie.”

“Comfy?” teased Maya, once the shuffling had stopped, reaching up with her left hand and gently easing Carina’s hair behind her neck so Maya could see and not get a mouthful of hair as, while it smelled of sunshine and light, she’d come to learn it wasn’t as great in her mouth.

“Si...now give her a little rub on the head?”  Carina watched as Maya brought her right hand up from where it had been resting on Carina’s knee and hovered a little distance from the puppy.  “Like this…” encouraged Carina, giving the puppy’s head a quick stroke with her finger, which immediately had the puppy pawing at whatever it could reach to try and climb up and have another one.

“She likes that…” marveled Maya, tentatively reaching forwards and trying to copy what she’d just seen Carina do.

“Si, she likes you doing that…” agreed Carina, shifting how she was supporting the hat so the puppy was starting to turn towards Maya rather than her.  “...and enjoys a little scratch behind the ears also…”  When Maya tried that, she saw the puppy open her eyes, the excitement from the fuss waking her up and see her start to try and climb out of the hat with energetic if uncoordinated enthusiasm.

“She’s strong!” whispered Maya surprised, when she felt tiny paws pushing against her chest.

“And happy, see?”  Carina pointed to the fabric of the hat where the puppy’s tail was wagging with enough energy to get the pom pom to bounce.  “Ah, Buongiorno, you are like me in the morning…” she teased, seeing the other puppy was now waking up rather more sluggishly, unable to sleep through her sister climbing on her.

“You’re cuter,” said Maya, going to give the other puppy a little stroke on the head. “Hi there…wait…”  She heard the puppy give a little whine and immediately pulled her hand away, like she’d hurt them.  “...what did I do wrong?”

“Nothing bella, sshh…” Carina saw what had happened - it had happened to her on a couple of occasions, which was why she’d taken the hard, cold metal Captain’s badge off Maya’s shirt before she used her as a pillow.  But now, with the puppies, she had a different solution to fix it.  “Your badge and her nose are not friends yet.”  

The bolder puppy, in trying to follow the fuss and scratches, had started to try and climb up to their voices again, but this time, in using her sister’s head as a foothold, had pushed her sister’s nose onto the edge of Maya’s silver SFD badge that was on the front of her shirt.  Although it didn’t have a sharp edge, it was a very different texture to her uniform shirt and the fluffy Santa hat, and Carina wasn’t at all surprised that it had startled the puppy - it had surprised her on occasion early on before she was used to it too.  

“Here…”  Carina angled her upper body towards Maya, closing the angle between them a little, making the Santa hat rest equally against them both, but also meaning the badge was out of the range of little puppy noses.  “...use your hand instead of mine…” she encouraged, waving the fingers of her right hand to signal she wanted Maya to take over holding them.  “Perfecto!”  Carina took her hand away and pressed a kiss to Maya’s forehead, then wrapped her right arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders.  

They were now holding the wriggling puppies between them, together.

“They’re so strong…and warm!” laughed Maya, realising she could feel the heat radiating from them against her chest.

“Si, they are not yet able to keep their heat, which is why the blankets and hat is good, and why they like to cuddle you...”  She snuggled up against Maya’s side herself, adding, “why I like to cuddle you too.”  Normally, Maya would then respond by teasing Carina that she was calling her ‘hot’, but Maya’s brain was now locked in learning mode not flirting mode.

“Should we put them back then?  So they don’t get cold?”

“If they did not have each other and you then yes, but they are fine bella…”  Carina felt the tension seep out of Maya’s shoulders again, happy to trust her girlfriend’s opinion.  “Your other hand?”

“What about it?” Maya’s left hand was currently happily resting on her girlfriend’s hip, holding her steady on her lap.

“Take the puppies?”

“No, I won’t be able to reach…” said Maya, only to hear a whispered ‘mamma mia’ from Carina.  “What?”

“Not around me Maya.”  She angled her body again, creating a small space between their bodies in the hope her suddenly stupid girlfriend understood what she meant.

“Oh, but then you’re not holding them.”

“Si...come on Maya.”  Carina wanted Maya to hold the puppies on her own so, if they ever returned to the topics of dogs, Carina would be able to remind Maya that these little sisters had liked Maya, had relaxed in her hands and didn’t think she was ‘broken’.  As long as they were sharing the holding duties, Carina knew that Maya would downplay her part and believe the puppies were only tolerating her because they also had Carina there.  “My arm is tired.”

“Sorry!”  Spurred into action, remembering that Carina had already worked her long shift and had all those deliveries, Maya’s protectiveness outweighed her fear and she moved her left arm from Carina’s hip and slid it through the small gap between their bodies, carefully putting her hand where Carina told her.  “Okay now?”

“Si, grazie…”  Carina reached out with her not particularly tired left arm and placed her hand on Maya’s cheek, drawing their faces together for a kiss, lips touching with a tenderness that neither had really experienced before their relationship ‘restart’, but now they found they craved as much as their more passionate kisses.  “Bravissima bellissima, mia amore…”

“I love you,” said Maya, realising that Carina had been a little bit sneaky in how she got her to hold the puppies but not caring, especially when she was stroking her cheek like that.  “Thank you.”

“Per che cosa?”

“For this, for everything…” Maya looked down at the puppies, who were starting to fall asleep again, having finished clambering over each other now they’d found a comfortable way to lie against her chest, their noses peeking out of the hat, their back paws standing on her right hand.  She felt Carina’s head rest against hers, as her fingers began to tease with the short hair at the nape of Maya’s neck.  “...they actually like me…”

“Of course they like you.”  

It took Carina a moment to gather herself, needing to douse the fiery rage that started to build in her everytime she was reminded how little confidence her girlfriend’s life had given her when it came to her emotional value.  Captain Maya Bishop had confidence in her abilities as a firefighter, built on the confidence Olympian Maya Bishop had in her fitness, drive and commitment to an objective, which combined to earn her respect from her fellow firefighters and her Station 19 ‘family’.  But Carina now also understood how low Maya’s confidence was in her worth and value as a recipient of love, as a person who someone could like or love just because she was Maya, who made Carina laugh with her wry observations and quick witty comments as she listened to Carina talk about her day and told her about hers, or listened intently and asked all sorts of questions about her work because, despite not wanting to really talk about babies, Maya wanted to understand what Carina did, in her research and with her regular patients.

“You are very likeable Maya Bishop…”  Carina kissed her again, then leaned back, letting her left hand return to stroking the puppies’ heads and ears, not trusting herself to remember that she must not lean in too far if she kissed Maya again.  “...your question…”

“Which one?”

“About us having a dog?”

“Ah, that question.”

“What did you mean?”

“I meant would you like a dog if I could promise you there was a way we could give them a life that was kind?”

“Ah…”  Carina caught her lower lip between her teeth as she thought about Maya’s question, both hands teasing the same gentle scratching pattern through silky soft, short fluffy hair - her right hand on Maya’s neck, her left hand on the quieter puppy’s head.  “...I think I would like that if I believed it was really possible, and that it was not just something you were doing for me.”

“It is really possible…and although I hadn’t thought about it until today, I think I really want to do it but only with you and only if you really want to too.”

“Va bene…”  Carina could tell from her voice that this was Maya being serious -  she’d taken a while to adjust to how decisive she could be about something that hadn’t even been thought of until moments earlier, but she’d come to understand that when Maya said firefighters were ‘problem solvers’, she wasn’t just talking about fire-related incidents.  

“So tell me...how is it possible?”

Chapter Text

“Oh, Buongiorno Carina, e Buon Natale.”

“Muy buena Andy. Buenos dias y Feliz Navidad.”

“Molto bene.”  Andy looked at her teammates and grinned, having been the first person to spot Maya and Carina appearing in the Beanery, Maya carrying the puppies box-bed.  “Morning Captain.”

“Hi Cap, Carina…”  Travis raised his spatula in greeting then pointed it at first Andy, then Carina, then waved it quickly between them.  “...wait, what was that?”

“That…” said Maya, after giving the puppies in their box to Vic, who was going to feed them in the break room while the human breakfast was finished, “...is my life when Andy’s visiting.”

“Andy is teaching me Spanish.”

“And she’s teaching me Italian,” added Andy, passing Maya the mug of coffee she’d made for Carina, deciding she’d let Carina determine if she found the coffee drinkable before pouring out a second one.  Perhaps they could treat themselves to a new coffee maker, assuming B Shift could be trusted not to break it...

“And they can both already speak English,” sighed Maya good-naturedly, eying up the ingredients Travis had assembled for making French Toast.

“Si.  E la tua lingua si confonde se cerchi di imparare entrambe le cose,” said Carina quickly, enjoying when Maya blushed and Andy laughed, Andy knowing what she’d said and Maya because she’d learned to recognise the phrase and knew what she was being teased about.

”Do we want to know?” asked Dean, looking between Andy and Carina, who were both clearly in on the joke at the Captain’s expense.

“Captain’s blushing, so I’d say yes,” teased Travis as he passed the spatula to Ben, gesturing he should actually be near the pan if he was going to have some expert help in improving his French Toast skill.

“No, you don’t,” said Robert, rescuing his wife’s coffee mug before it poured the contents all over the floor, having had the joke explained to him by Andy after their last dinner with Maya and Carina.

“He’s right,” agreed Emmett from the far side of the Beanery where he’d been setting the table.

“How do you know Probie?” asked Travis, wondering how he knew something Travis had missed.

“Umm…”  Emmett’s face had gone bright red, which would have seen the teasing increase, except it wasn’t the firefighters who spoke next.

“Tu parli Italiano?”

“Alcuni, il mio accento è... davvero pessimo però.”

“Sì.”  Carina took a sip of the mug of coffee Maya had passed her, and winced. “Pessimo come questo caffè,” causing him to smile and Maya and Andy to groan, perfectly familiar with the Carina struggling to find anything Americans called coffee drinkable.  “Hai imparato la mia lingua leggendo, credo?”

“Si.  All'università ho studiato storia dell'arte.”  He saw her wince again.  “Sorry, that was rubbish.”

“No, your structure and vocabulary are very good, but you keep forgetting you are speaking a phonetic language.”

“You speak Italian?” asked Andy, looking at Emmett with a smile, having mostly followed what they had been talking about, but recognising Carina’s little pronunciation pep talk, having had it almost weekly herself.

“Understand and can read it a bit might be more accurate.”  He shrugged, not seeing it was anything all that special.  “I never had anyone to practice speaking it with.”

“You can practice with me,” said Andy quickly, knowing she was going to be spending a lot of time with him in the coming weeks because she wouldn’t be able to be on the same rig as Robert, which rather meant she’d become Probie’s training Lieutenant by default.  “My pronunciation is a mess.”

“No, it is just too Spanish, while his is too American.”  Carina took another sip of her coffee before passing the mug to Maya with little ceremony and pouring herself some orange juice from the carton already out on the counter.  “And neither of you remember to sound all the letters in the word, but that is because you are used to English which is a very strange language.”

“It is?”  It wasn’t something Warren had given much thought to, not ever getting very far with studying in any other language.

“Scusa…”  Carina frowned at her phone, seeing it was Grey-Sloan and headed to the quieter break room to see who wanted her now and whether it was something she could handle by phone.  She did not want to have to go back to the hospital.

“Yeah, it’s a really strange language to learn if you speak something like Italian or Spanish,” began Andy, picking up the conversation on Carina’s behalf, taking her coffee mug back from Robert with a bright smile.  “There’s the lack of gender for one thing.”

“God, I hated that at school.  And the verbs having rules about their endings.”  Gibson headed to the coffee pot for a top up.  “Never managed to get that right, English was much easier.”

“Noo…” disagreed Andy, laughing at how easily he was making Carina’s point for her, though knowing Jack he probably wouldn’t have made it if she’d still been in earshot.  “Every verb in English is irregular…”

Tuning out her teammates’ discussion as Travis set about trying to work out what Ben had got so badly wrong in his French Toast attempt, Maya headed through to the break room, not wanting to intrude on Carina’s conversation with the hospital, but wanting to make it possible for them to at least have a moment to make a plan for later in the day if this was the call that would see Carina having to rush back to Grey-Sloan.  Plus, as much as she loved her teammates and enjoyed it when they were all having a big good-natured discussion in the Beanery together, she loved being in Carina’s company more, even if all she was doing was talking on the phone to someone.

“What’s going on?” whispered Vic, unable to see back into the Break Room from the Beanery. 

Despite planning on feeding the puppies, she’d discovered they weren’t interested in food, being very content to sleep after a night of milk and fuss from Carina.  So, craving coffee, when Maya came through to the Break Room to keep Carina company while she had her conversation with whoever it was at Grey-Sloan that needed her help, Vic got her to agree to be puppy ‘supervisor’ for a bit and headed back into the Beanery via the bathroom, only to see her teammates were paying more attention to the Break Room than the breakfast prep.

“The toast seems to be finished,” said Vic prompting Ben and Travis to pull the two pans they were using off the heat, not making any attempt now to pretend they weren’t interested in what was happening with the Captain and her girlfriend.  French Toast could wait, and if anyone was really hungry, there was cereal.

“Carina’s still on her call I think, but Maya’s holding the puppies,” explained Andy quietly, having moved into a position where she could see through the opening into the Break Room but not hear what if anything was being said.

“You sure?” asked Vic, excited, but not wanting to move from the chair she had just sat down in when it became clear that she should have stayed somewhere with a view of the Break Room as she’d already jinxed Carina once this shift.

She’d noticed early on how Maya was avoiding having any contact with the puppies, and like Andy, had guessed it was because she really didn’t know what to do with them, rather than because she was uninterested in them.  Andy passing on the money with the message that Vic was to make sure they had all the right supplies for the little puppies while also being on poop duty had proved it, with Andy also strongly suggesting to Vic that she shouldn’t mention it was Maya’s money they were using to get the supplies unless she absolutely had to.  Maya’s soft side was, as they both knew from living with her over the years, very soft and wrapped around a very kind and caring heart...there were just quite a few spikey spots to get past on the way to it.

“They’re not in the box and Carina’s definitely not holding them anymore,” whispered Andy.

“How can you tell?”

“Tell what Jack?”

“That Carina’s not holding them?”

“She picked them up out of the box but gave them to Maya…”  Andy had watched with interest as Carina had seen something in Maya’s thoughtful expression that had prompted the Doctor to tell whoever she was talking to to wait a moment, and putting her phone on the coffee table, had scooped the puppies in their Santa hat still out of the box and held them to Maya to take.  A moment later, when Andy saw Maya give a little nervous nod, Carina had dropped a quick kiss on the top of Maya’s head and picked up her cell phone again.   “And I can see her hands Jack,” explained Andy with more patience than she thought he deserved for asking such a dumb question, but she also knew how hard he was trying to not be a jerk around the doctor and Maya, so answered him anyway, mentally pleading with him to remember not to be a jerk with whatever he said next.  What was currently concerning Andy more though, was that she could see Carina’s hands because the one that wasn’t holding the cell phone was making animated gestures, suggesting that whoever she was talking to either wasn’t getting or was getting it and not able to cope.

“Go Maya,” he said quietly, knowing from doing animal calls with her over the years that she wasn’t an instinctive animal handler.

“Does this mean we’re getting station puppies do you think?” asked Vic, starting to almost vibrate in her seat with excitement.

“Vic!” 

“What?”

“Calm down…” requested Andy, unable to stop her smile warming when she saw her best friend and her girlfriend share a sweet kiss, Carina’s call ending far more abruptly than Andy had expected.

“It’s got to be a sign though, that Carina wanted a dog?” 

“Ja-ck…” groaned Miller, deciding that comment was dangerously close to jinxing territory.

“What?”  Jack took another mouthful of his coffee.  “I mean, she could have been a cat person!”

“Gibson, did you just suggest my girlfriend is a crazy cat lady?”

“What!”  They’d all been so caught up in trying to be quiet that none of them had noticed Maya and Carina coming back into the Beanery, Maya still holding the puppies.  “No, absolutely not!”

“Stop teasing Jack,” said Carina, wrapping her arms around Maya’s waist from behind and smiling at the team.  “As bad as the coffee is here, it is too good for the floor.”

“Thank you,” said Jack, raising his almost empty coffee mug in a toast of thanks to her, then deliberately put it down on the coffee table.  “How are the puppies?”

“Asleep.”  Maya looked down at them, amused at how they’d arranged themselves.  “And quite strong.”

“Andy?”

“Yes Carina?”

“Would you mind if Maya and I adopted the puppies?”

“What?”  Andy looked from Carina’s face to Maya’s, seeing her best friend looking about as relaxed and happy as Andy had ever seen her, then at the puppies that Maya was holding with increasing confidence.  “I mean…”  Andy’s brain was stalled, struck trying to work out why she was even being asked.

Aid Car Nineteen, Engine Nineteen, Ladder Nineteen

Carina, with great presence of mind, moved her hands from her girlfriend’s waist up so she could take hold of the puppies, enabling Maya to let go of the Santa hat and duck out from under Carina’s arms.

“You’ll…”

“Stay?  Si, go save people bella.”

Chapter Text

Humming Christmas carols to herself while she waited for the puppies to settle again after the disruption of the alarm and being handed off from Maya to her, Carina wandered over to the coffee maker.

“I can make a fresh pot for you Dr DeLuca?” offered Emmett, returning to the Beanery after closing the shutters down behind the trucks - the snow was starting to fall with increased determination and with the wind in its current direction they’d end up with slush on the barn floor if they were left open.

“Thank you, but no.”  Carina turned around to look at him, taking in the flakes of snow in his hair and bright red cheeks, making her extra glad she’d decided to stay in the Stationhouse rather than go home.  She had been looking at it to see if there was any way of setting the machine so she could have an improved cup of coffee compared to what she’d tried so far, but was resigned to it being a lost cause.  “What do you do now?”

“While they are on the calls?”

“Si.”

“Keep on top of the chores…”  He saw her glance around the kitchen at the various half eaten bowls of cereal and plates of toast that had been abandoned in the moment the alarms sounded.  “...yeah, a fair bit of washing up.  But there’s also stuff to do for the engine…”  He saw her face shift from curiosity to confusion, realising that he must sound a bit odd, talking about doing stuff for an engine that had just left the garage.  “So, umm, when the Aid Car brings a patient to the hospital, we don’t clear the call until the hospital has accepted the patient.”

“Si, you all get quite frustrated if we are slow with our paperwork,” agreed Carina, having experienced her fair share of transfer delays that have kept the EMS and SFD teams hanging around the Pit when they were making it very clear they wanted to be gone already.  But sometimes it was the Doctors themselves causing the delay, like last week when she had been on her way down to the Pit to meet an arriving patient and ended up having to do CPR on a random patient who was being transferred from one floor to another and just happened to code when she was in the same bit of corridor.  “Or are trying to treat three patients at once.”

“I bet.”  He shared a bright grin with her and poured himself a mug of coffee, making a final offer of the pot to her but unsurprised when she declined with a small shudder.

“But when you clear the call you go to the next one?”  At least, that’s what Carina had always assumed happened based on the snippets of conversation she’d overheard from the firefighters and her girlfriend, with it seeming the logical equivalent to her going to the admit desk or triage desk and getting her next patient.

“Kinda.”  He headed to the fridge and got the milk out, then remembered he’d seen her favour the orange juice.  “More juice?”

“Si, grazie.”  Seeing the puppies were once again settled and sleeping, Carina went and put them in their sleeping box which was still in the Break Room from when Vic had taken it through earlier, but she decided they would be fine in there and returned to the Beanery empty handed.  “Why ‘kinda’?”

“Huh?  Oh, right.”  He passed her the juice he’d poured for her and thought for a moment, not used to being in a position to be an ‘expert’ about fire department things.  “We keep records of what stocks we have on the Aid Car.  If we fall below certain levels in some things, we can’t go back on standby and have to restock first.”  He shrugged.  “Either way, unless it’s super busy the Aid Car leaves the hospital and comes back here, only sometimes we’re coming back here knowing we can’t get a call assigned because we need to restock.”

“That is...logical but not always efficient?”  Carina could see it would never really be that much of an issue for 19, since they were only a few blocks from Grey-Sloan, but she knew not all the Stations were that close to one of the hospitals.

“If it’s really busy and dispatch want to assign the Aid Car to a call before it can restock here, they can divert the Aid Car to the nearest station.  Or assign the call and have them do a fast turnaround here.”

“Ah, which is why you have preparations to do…”  It made sense to Carina now - he was getting everything ready so that as and when this current call finished, it was easy for them to restock quickly, or restock another team if necessary.  “...and that is not just for the Aid Car, but the…”  She was surprised by a yawn.  “...autopompe.”

“If that’s Italian for fire engines then yeah.”  There wasn’t much call for reading books and articles in Italian about emergency vehicles when studying History of Art.

“Si, scusa.”  Carina drank some of her juice, and shook her head when he held up the loaf of bread, clearly about to make himself some breakfast.  “No thank you.”  While her stomach was telling her that if she insisted on being awake this early in the day it was still the middle of the night as far as her digestion was concerned and not interested in breakfast, she made a conscious effort to force her brain into English.  “It is a responsibility, being on your own here.” 

“I guess…”  He’d not really thought of it like that, still very conscious of the first day he was at the Station and failed to get his kit together fast enough.  “...anyway, that is what I do now, oh, and deal with any walk-ins.”  He saw her smile.  “You hear about those then?”

“Si, sometimes.  But then we have the same at the hospital.”

“Like the gun in the…”  Emmett waved his hand loosely in front of him.

“Vagina?  Gungina was my suggestion but…”  She gave a very Italian shrug, which Emmett could clearly ‘hear’ meant ‘Americans, strange people’ or something similar. “...it was not popular.”

“Wait, that was you?”  He blushed and held his hand up when he was suddenly on the receiving end of a rarely seen DeLuca sharp look, realising what he’d accidentally implied.  “As the Doctor, that was your patient?  I didn’t mean, I wouldn’t...”

“Ah.”  As quickly as it had come, the sharpness went from her features and she smirked with amusement at his stumbling embarrassment.  “I saw the patient, and watched the surgery but did not have Surgical privileges at the hospital, so Richard Webber did the operation.  Who did you think had the patient?”

“Dr Avery...at least, he was the one who told us about it.  I think I must have assumed…”

“It is a good story,” agreed Carina, only to yawn again, reminding her how long she’d been awake and how tired she was, two things it was much easier to ignore when Maya was around.  Perhaps she should have said yes to some bad coffee after all.

“Right, I need to go tidy the stores…”  He ate his last mouthful of toast, and gathered up the last of the scattered bowls and mugs - he’d tackle those next, but he had an idea that as long as he was in the Beanery she’d probably resist going and getting some rest out of courtesy, which was not only unnecessary on her part, but felt like exactly the sort of thing that could see him randomly land on the Captain’s bad side, which he generally tried to avoid.  “...I assume you know where everything is?  Best just avoiding anything in those cupboards though...”  He gestured to the big cupboards set into the wall that divided the Beanery from the Break Room which had the letters of the shifts on them.

“The belongings of B Shift?”

“Yeah…”  He winced when he remembered seeing them putting away their ‘favourite’ foods and board games they didn’t like to share with the other shifts.  “...most of it’s a crime against food even by American standards.”

“Mamma mia!”  Carina had already experienced the ‘food crimes’ of A Shift when she’d been at a spontaneous party at the Houseboat on a couple of occasions, and was still baffled by some of what she’d found in the fridge earlier when she’d refused to accept Emmett and Ben’s assertion that they’d got ‘nothing good’ - and she’d subsequently proved her point with the minestrone.  “I shall avoid their cupboard…” she promised, stretching her neck and wincing at the stiffness that had returned, which in turn reminded her she’d forgone a shower at the hospital at the end of her shift after her final surgery - she’d already had three that shift by that point and, given the state of the hospital plumbing and her plan of only stopping by the station briefly, a fourth held little appeal.  “...but a shower would be good if that is not a problem?”  She pictured Maya’s bunk and recalled seeing where there were toiletries and towels she could borrow.  But what she couldn’t remember ever seeing was where the showers were.

“Of course…”  He picked up on her hesitancy and took a guess.  “...showers and lockers are down there.  Captain’s got a locker there as well as her bunk downstairs, but the showers are only upstairs.”  He saw her small nod and realised he’d guessed mostly right, before adding something else that he felt she should probably know.  “This part of the station’s now locked by the way, so any walk ins would need to ring the bell, but they usually walk into the barn when they see the doors open anyway.  So you’ll have it to yourself...and I’m not planning to do a fire drill so…”

“Do not point the hairdryer at the ceiling?” 

“How did you know?”

“Un'ipotesi.  Le stazioni dei vigili del fuoco sembrano essere molto simili agli ospedali.”  She finished the last of her orange juice and put it by the other glasses he’d gathered, already knowing she would offend him if she offered to do the washing up again, but this time glad as she really was tired.  “Ma non ho mai dato lezioni di cucina in un ospedale.  Grazie Emmett.”

“Doctor.”  He gave her a polite smile and nod as she left and headed for the locker rooms, his brain still trying to untangle the Italian she’d just spoken, before finally realising what she’d said and laughing, thinking back about everything they’d just talked about.

Yeah, she was right - fire stations probably were very similar to hospitals…and somehow, he had a feeling that if any Doctor was going to persuade Dr Bailey to give them access to a kitchen at the hospital, it would be Dr DeLuca.  

Damn.

Now he wanted French Toast.

“Hello?”

Hearing the shout echoing around the barn, Emmett went out into the vehicle bays to see who was the first walk-in of Christmas Day, hoping that it was something straightforward given none of the others were back from what had turned out to be their first proper fire of the shift.

“Hi, can I help you...oh.”  Brain restarting he pulled off his work gloves and moved forwards at a quick jog.  “Are you…”

“Pregnant?  Not for much longer…” said the woman sharply, squeezing his arm tightly with her right hand, her left hand firmly gripping onto the man she’d arrived with and who he’d heard call out.

“It might be those Braxton-Hicks things…” suggested the man, who Emmett had a hunch was perhaps a brother rather than the father, though on what he was basing that he had no clue.  “...you’ve had that a couple of times.”

“That smart idea of yours is what got us here…” growled the woman, her grip easing up on Emmett’s arm as the pain eased up again.

“Here as in…”  Emmett, seeing her face relax a bit, dared risk a question, not sure how Braxton-Hicks false labour explained them walking into Station 19.

“...in the car, not calling 911…” She let go of both their arms and set off walking in a small circle, giving Emmett the chance to look at the guy in the hope of getting a slightly more complete explanation.

“We got in the car as if it’s a false alarm it’s easier to get home again, but the, I don’t know, something went on the car and we slid off the road…”

“You had an accident?”  Emmett’s brain stopped again, having been only just keeping on the calm side of panic when confronted with a woman in what sounded like labour walking into the Station.  Pregnant and car wreck?  That was...oh god, what did he do first?  “Was there anyone else involved?”

“The streetlight probably needs surgery…” joked the guy, coughing when he tried to laugh.  “We were kinda hoping you…”  He gestured vaguely to the empty garage, his face falling when he registered what the big empty space didn’t contain.

“...had an ambulance or something…” continued the woman, completing her circuit and grabbing hold of the guy’s arm again as the pain began to build again, meaning she didn’t notice the blood the guy wiped away from his mouth with his other sleeve, though Emmett saw it.

“Yeah, the Aid Car’s on a call…” Emmett’s mouth was working independently from his brain, which was definitely now on the panic side of panic.  

What was he supposed to do?  

What could he do?  

What would the Captain want him to do?

The Captain…wait, they were right, there wasn’t the Aid Car but he wasn’t on his own in the Station.

“...wait here.”

Tossing his gloves aside he ran across the barn to the door through to the rest of the station, forgetting until the last second that he needed to use the keys he had in his pocket to unlock it.  Hands shaking, he found the right key and opened the door with such force it swung all the way open on its hinges and clattered against the wall, but he didn’t notice as he was already running through the hallway and bursting through the door to the Captain’s office.

“DR DELUCA!” 

He skidded to a stop on the floor of the empty office and forced himself to remember to take a breath as he turned around and saw the door to the Captain’s Bunk was closed.

“DR DELUCA!”  He banged on the bunk door and, with one hand over his eyes, opened the door and took a step in.

“DR DELUCA!”

“Smettila di gridare, dormivo non morto…” grumbled Carina, eyes opening and sitting up in a single movement, years of reacting to urgent summons meaning her body knew what to do even if her brain was still catching up.  “Dov'è il fuoco?”  Her bare feet landed on the cool floor and jolted her brain into proper gear, and out of Italian and back into English.

“No fire, baby coming!”

“Ok…”  She looked up at Emmett and chuckled.  “...you can move your hand Emmett.”

“What?”  He realised what she meant and took his hand away from his eyes, relieved to see she was wearing the Captain’s shirt and some shorts.  “Right.  Walk in, now, pregnant, very pregnant...”  He trailed off when another wail of pain echoed around the garage and through the otherwise empty station.  “...no aid car.”

“I see.”  Carina stood up and gestured for him to move, not needing to be told anything further, though she suspected he’d not yet remembered she was an OB/GYN and was instead just gravitating to the other person in the Station who happened to be a doctor.  “Show me?”

“Right…”  He turned around and jogged back to the barn.  “...er guys?”

“Hi there…” said Carina calmly, starting to size up the woman as she crossed the barn towards them, not recognising the woman as one of her patients from Grey-Sloan - the bad news was that meant it wasn’t anyone she knew the history of, but on the plus side, since most of her patients were the higher-risk or more complex pregnancies, there was still a chance that this was going to just be an impatient baby that wasn’t prepared to wait for Mama to get comfortable before arriving.  Maybe it would just be false labour though, especially if it was a first pregnancy, thought Carina, closing the final few steps as the woman and guy she was using to help her stand finished turning around at the sound of Carina’s voice, enabling her to see the woman’s stomach for the first time.

Oh.

She owed Vic an apology - Station 19 were definitely having babies this Christmas.

“Emmett?”

“Yes?”

“I need gloves and a stethoscope, then please do the alarm thing.”  As she was speaking, she was watching how her two newest patients were coping, the woman’s screams of pain being the more distracting but the man seemed to be in a fair amount of difficulty too, suggesting to Carina there was rather more than just labour going on for the pair.

“Yes Doctor.

“Who are you?” asked the woman, paying attention to Carina for the first time now she wasn’t screaming.

“Dr DeLuca.”

“What’s a Doctor doing in a fire station?  And your shirt says Bishop.”  She continued to scrutinise Carina.  “And where are your shoes?”

“Ah.”  Carina glanced down at herself, seeing how Maya’s shirt could be causing confusion.  “It’s my partner’s shirt.  I’m visiting.”  She saw her bare feet and made a mental note to ask Emmett for some socks at some point too.  “And I was asleep.”

“What sort of doctor?” asked the guy, less interested in the sartorial choices.

“The right one for your...sister?” guessed Carina, noting the similar features between the two, plus she’d seen enough husbands being shouted at by their wives for ‘getting them pregnant’ at this stage in the labour to have a fairly good read of when the man accompanying the woman wasn’t the father.

“Yeah, she’s Naomi.  And what do you mean right one?”

“I’m OB/GYN Attending at Grey-Sloan hospital.”  She guessed that was where they had been probably trying to get to.  “Thank you.”  She took the gloves and stethoscope from Emmett, impressed when he’d also managed to pull himself together enough to bring a couple of plastic crates with him that he put down for their two patients to use as something to sit on if they wanted until they’d got more organised.  “It is active labour, for the alarm.”  She wished she could remember what it was that Maya had said the alarm was called when it was in the station like this, but that was a minor detail she could worry about later.

“It’s going to be very loud…” Carina just managed to finish warning Naomi and her brother before the alarms sounded through the station for ten seconds or so, during which she managed to help them both sit down on the crates, though she was going to have to get Naomi lying down fairly fast for a proper exam.  “...what is your name, brother of Naomi?” she teased, trying to get a sense of the brother’s status, not liking how calm he was - there was something off about it that made her suspect they hadn’t just decided to walk around the corner to the station to save the 911 call or taxi fare to the hospital.

“Sam.  My name’s Sam.”  Seeing him rubbing his shoulder now his sister wasn’t holding onto his arm, Carina thought she saw the beginnings of the tell-tale welts forming across the base of his neck from the edge of a seat belt doing its job, though the shape of his nose suggested there hadn’t been any other safety features in their vehicle.

“Good to meet you Sam, tell me…”  As she spoke to him, Carina was pulling on her gloves, deciding she needed to do basic neuro checks on both of them before she looked at how Naomi’s labour was doing.  “...can you remember what happened?”

Chapter Text

“That’s weird…” mumbled Andy as she took a sip of the coffee she’d got while she finished the call write up and waited for Warren to come back from saying hi to Miranda, since they were in Grey-Sloan and she was only four cubicles over from their patient when they arrived in the Pit.

“What’s weird?” asked Ben, arriving in time to hear her mumbling in English, which wasn’t a very Andy thing to do, as she generally either spoke her mind in English if she had an issue she wanted to air or mumbled in Spanish if it was more of a vent to move on moment.

“We’ve been set to priority return to 19…”  Andy tapped the tablet screen a couple of times, cursing in Spanish at how slow their system was whenever it was connected to the Grey-Sloan wifi, though it had been pretty slow all shift.

“We don’t need to restock do we?” asked Warren, thinking back to all the people they’d triaged at the fire the rest of the team were currently putting out.  

The one patient they did need to bring in had been more of a precautionary courtesy as he was in his 70s with quite a complex medical history that meant his very minimal smoke inhalation was worth investigating a bit more thoroughly.  Usually they’d have not brought him in, but explained to his family members to keep a close eye on him for 24 hours, but since the fire was under control and overall calls were low given dawn was only just breaking Christmas Day, Maya agreed they could take him to Grey-Sloan.  For Dispatch to be sending them back to 19 as a priority was, as Andy said, weird.

“No…”  Andy watched impatiently while the screen she wanted loaded, knowing from experience that if they started heading back to the Aid Car the tablet would lose the wifi and they’d be back to knowing nothing.  “Crap.  Come on!”

“Wait, what…”  

Ben was only a split second slower than Andy, but the speed with which she was jogging through the scattering of staff and patients as she headed for the Aid Car meant she was a good distance ahead of him when he did get his feet going.  And while he was light on his feet when on a basketball court, he was no match for her, and by the time he caught up with her she had already got the Aid Car engine going, lights on and clearly expecting him to use the siren too once they were clear of the drop off zone.

Confused as to why she’d avoided the driver’s side, Ben got in and realised as he pulled on his headset and pulled out, it was because she wanted to make a call.

“Maya?  Have you seen the call log?”

“Not since we got here…”  Maya moved away from the team a bit so she could still see how they were doing at making the rather badly burnt out garage and car safe but also hear Andy over the sound of the hose and…  “...you got another call?” she asked, hearing the Aid Car sirens in the background.  Jogging towards the engine’s cab, she climbed into the passenger seat and hooked up her tablet to find the call log and see if she could see what Andy was calling her about.

“Priority return to 19.  Still Alarm.  Aid Car from 45’s attending.”

“What?”  Maya was having similar slow computer problems to Andy and quickly gave up even trying.  “Tell me, my tablet’s crashed.  Is Carina...”

“It was called in as Active Labour, with additional details mentioning road traffic accident and Grey-Sloan Attending on providing assistance on scene…”  Andy looked at her tablet and saw it wasn’t just Maya’s that had crashed, as hers was dark too.  “...we’re…”  Andy braced herself as Warren gunned the engine a bit more, taking advantage of the quiet roads and the intersection ahead giving them a green light as well as all their lights and sirens.  “... less than two minutes.”

“Why didn’t we get notified?” wondered Maya, climbing out of the engine now the tablet was of no use and starting to look for Gibson.  “Still alarm at the station should right?”  She wasn’t disagreeing with Andy’s view that if the call details identified someone who could only be Carina providing assistance then her girlfriend was safe and well, but rational conclusions didn’t always help keep a clear head, whereas a fire department minutiae was currently helping.

“Christmas Day screw up?” suggested Andy, bracing as the Aid Car turned the final corner.  “Actually someone probably assumed you were already aware as Probie couldn’t call out an Attending.”  Andy could see the Aid Car from 45 parked up on the Station Ramp.  “You’re coming back right?”

“Yeah, I’m coming back.”  Maya heard Andy say they’d arrive and ended the call, her eyes scanning the scene for Gibson, spotting him back by the hose.  “Gibson!”  She jogged over to him.  “Scene’s yours, wrap it up safe but fast then back to 19.”

“Everything ok?”

“Still Alarm, Carina’s delivering some walk in’s baby by the sounds of it.  Tess from 45’s there.”

“Shit.”  He nodded, waiting while she made the radio call telling the team Gibson now had the scene, wanting to ask questions but knowing now wasn’t the time.  “Why are you still here?” he joked when she’d finished on the radio, starting to look past her at the tape line to see if he could catch the eye of a friendly cop who might give her a lift back to the Station, only for a flash of light to catch his eye.  Focusing on that, he couldn’t help but laugh for a moment.

“Go Captain…”  He watched for a moment, realising the flash of light he’d seen had been the streetlights reflecting on the hi-visibility markings on her turnout jacket as she pulled it off and trapped it under her left arm while jogging towards the police tape, which she ducked under, barking at a cop to get out of her way and then…  “...man she’s fast.”

Turning back to the scene, he took in everything that was going on, deciding they’d probably be able to wrap up everything here in such a way they could get the ladder back to the Station in about half an hour’s time, which would provide some reinforcements at least.  But first, he pulled out his phone and dialled Herrera.

“Not a good moment Jack, I’m…”

“Yeah, I know.  Look, Bishop should be with you in about 5 minutes I think.”

“Yeah?  Good.”  Andy took a step back from the activity in the garage space so she wasn’t a distraction while she got the update from Jack.  “I’ll look out for the cruiser.”  Andy was impressed - usually it took at least five minutes for them to persuade a police car to give them a lift from a scene.

“No cruiser.”  Jack grinned, wishing he could see Andy’s reaction as she realised what he really meant.

“No way.”  Andy jogged out onto the station driveway and turned towards the scene.  “That’s…”

“...something only Bishop could do?  Yeah.”  He turned back towards the scene he was now in charge of wrapping up.  “Captain’s a beast.  How’s it up there?”

“Loud,” said Andy honestly.  “Having twins isn’t quiet.”

“Twins? That’s…”  They were both thinking the same thing - twins isn’t triplets, so 19 wasn’t automatically going to be able to shut down 42’s unpleasant boasting.  “How’s the Doc?”

“Rather good at multitasking,” said Andy somewhat cryptically, not really sure yet how to explain to Jack just what they’d arrived at, which from the couple of sentences she’d exchanged with Tess who was the Lieutenant from 45 on their Aid Car this shift, was pretty much her reaction too when they’d arrived.  “Took an hour to get the Aid Car from 45 here.”  Andy turned back to look into the brightly lit barn as another cry echoed around it, followed by encouraging words that she couldn’t make out but could only be from Carina.  “Someone screwed up somewhere.”

“Shit.  Look, I’ll get the ladder cleared as fast as I can and send you Montgomery and Sullivan.  Hughes, Miller and I’ll finish this off.”

“Thanks Jack.  They walked in from a single vehicle RTC, so we’ve got to find that at some point too...”  Andy was about to turn back into the shelter of the station when she saw a  figure appearing at the far end of the block.  “She really did win that medal…”  

For all they teased her about it (and Andy was honest enough with herself to admit they weren’t always kind with the teasing if it was bringing up the medal), and knew from team workouts that Maya was a good runner, it was easy to forget that winning an Olympic Gold Medal for 10,000m didn’t just make you a good runner, it made you the sort of great runner that put you at the tip of the ice cube on top of the tip of the tiny part of the iceberg everyone could see.  Not even one in a million sort of odds in fact.

“You see her?”

“Yeah, straight up the middle of the road.  She’s fast Jack.”

“Well yeah, she’s ‘gold-medal-Maya’.”

“No Jack…”  Andy rolled her eyes at his tone - he’d been doing so well at being a decent guy this shift, then he went and became a jerk again for a moment.  “...this is…”  Andy thought back to all the times she’d gone running with Maya, either just for exercising when they lived together before, or alongside her at fitness tests throughout their careers since their time at the Academy, and tried to compare those memories with what she was seeing as Maya crossed the deserted intersection and started eating into the final block with long strides.  “...on another level.  Gotta go.  She’s here.”

Andy put her cell phone back in her pocket and carried on to the Aid Car Warren had parked up on the driveway next to 45s, knowing she had an uncracked bottle of water in the door.  She’d just finished grabbing it as Maya slowed down to a stop by her.

“Here.”  Andy passed her the bottle of water, guessing that it would probably be appreciated, surprised when Maya took it from her, but didn’t seem all that bothered by it.  “That was Gibson, he’s going to send Montgomery and Sullivan with the Ladder as soon as he can to give us extra bodies.  Give me your helmet.”

“Thanks.”  

Maya, after the first hundred strides or so, had forgotten she was running in her helmet and just run, her mind clear of everything except the old familiar drills she’d used to keep herself on race pace as she ran mile after mile of training runs.  She wouldn’t care to do another five miles at that pace like she’d been able to do around the time she did the Olympics, and had thought, as she turned at the first intersection and was rather rudely reminded that her weaker ankle really preferred to take fast turns on a nice bouncy athletics track wearing running spikes not turnout boots, that her father would have probably liked the idea of making her do race pace training runs in heavy duty pants and boots given half a chance.  But that thought had only lingered for another hundred strides or so before she’d latched onto the image of the Station and Carina in her pink scrubs looking so amazingly out of place in amongst the firefighting equipment that Maya had almost laughed as she ran, her body taking over from her brain and just...run.

“How’s everyone doing?”

“27 year old first time Mom Naomi, being driven by her brother Sam to Grey-Sloan for stomach cramps that were ‘probably Braxton Hicks again’ to be checked out.  Car cut out on them next block…”  Andy gestured in the direction Maya hadn’t come from to indicate the general direction as to where the siblings must have originally started from.  “...low speed impact with a streetlight, no airbags apparently, neither had a cellphone so they set out on foot and stopped at us instead of carrying on to Grey-Sloan.”

“Good call I’m guessing?”  Maya didn’t notice she wasn’t really winded anymore, but did take a sip of the water, mostly out of reflex habit than actual thirst.  She did however start to feel cold and sweaty, which standing around in lightly falling snow not wearing her turnout jacket would do, so passed the bottle back to Andy while she pulled it back on.

“Twins.  Tess got here after an hour, so about twenty minutes ago.  First one crowned within minutes of the mother arriving apparently, but since then is proving stubborn.  And there’s something Carina’s not pleased about with the second one.  Tess had just radioed a drugs request through to Grey-Sloan right before we got here.”  Andy gave Maya back her bottle of water.  “Best case between baby one and two Carina can correct whatever she’s concerned about and baby two comes out alright.”

“Worse case?” asked Maya quietly, appreciating now why Andy had caught her outside to give her the update.

“Very worst case it’s an emergency C-section right here for baby two.”  Andy smiled grimly at Maya’s raised eyebrow, knowing that they’d both been at the same childbirth seminar when it had been explained that such a procedure was generally only considered when the mother’s life was otherwise in danger.  “The ordinary worse case is we move the Mom from here to Grey-Sloan between babies one and two.”

“She can do that?”  Maya knew her girlfriend was, for want of a better way of putting it, a genius when it came to persuading babies to arrive or not arrive depending upon what was the best for mother and baby, but rationally knew that was because she was a very, very experienced and excellent doctor.  What Andy had just said however, that was starting to sound like more Carina-magic, which Maya had total faith in.

“I didn’t ask, she was a bit busy…” pointed out Andy dryly, starting to duck back under the shutters which Henson, Tess’ partner on their Aid Car was closing again now he’d turned both Aid Cars around and brought them into the barn so they could access all their kit without letting even more heat out of the big cavernous space.  Personally, Andy knew Carina was hoping they might also help with the echo a bit, since apparently even she had finally had enough of the screams of a woman in labour now she was onto babies 12 and hopefully 13 which, even by her standards, was a bit excessive for a 24 hour period.  Once Maya had ducked under the shutters too, Andy continued her update.  “Oh, and there’s an … extra little problem...”  It had sounded so innocent when Carina had declared there was  ‘piccolo problema’ when she saw Andy arrive, then left Tess to explain what Carina was also having to juggle alongside the labour.

“Because this is so straightforward so far?”

“Carina’s words, not mine,” placated Andy, grinning at her friend’s rather predictable reaction which had been exactly how Andy had reacted.  “When their car hit the streetlight the brother broke some ribs and his arm...which he let his sister squeeze as much as she needed to as they walked here.  And they both have possible concussions, actually brother’s probable concussion given he’s also got a broken nose.  So there’s regular neuro checks on the brother too.  Sister’s happier now her wrist is splinted, so that’s a suspect break too.”  It would probably make more sense if they could find the car, but Andy gut was telling her Naomi had been sitting or lying across the back seat and tried to brace herself with her hand as they had the collision.

“Why’s he still here then?”

“Aside from refusing to leave his sister who we can’t move yet?”  Andy waited a beat as Maya’s eyes scanned their rather unusual scene again, seeing the moment she spotted the problem.

“Not enough Aid Cars…” realised Maya, nodding and mentally apologising to Andy for asking a stupid question, the scene coming properly together for her now she’d had a few seconds to take it all in.  With two aid cars they were now alright, just, if one left with the brother, but taking the brother to Grey-Sloan would have left Carina with a mother, twins and not a lot else again apart from Emmett, speaking of...

“How’s Probie?”

“A rather good birthing partner as long as he stays above the shoulders it seems.”  Not that Andy was in any way blaming him, she’d spent a minute or so kneeling shoulder to shoulder with Carina so she could get the update from her without interrupting her concentration, and despite having been involved with Pru’s delivery last year, this was...definitely something that would take a while to unsee.  There was one final piece of information Andy knew she needed to give Maya, but she really was hoping Carina would be the one to share it.

“Is that…”  Maya walked in a careful circuit around the barn so she could take in everything that had been gathered together from the station stores when Carina and Emmett had been on their own, without an Aid Car’s supplies on it.  “...my spare jacket?”  Or maybe Maya would discover it for herself.

“Remember,” said Andy quietly, seeing Carina had heard her girlfriend’s voice and, despite being fully focused on the mother during her current contraction, was almost certainly going to talk to Maya afterwards, so Andy decided some quick advice was probably no bad thing.  “No matter how much you love that jacket, you love Carina more and are glad your jacket means she’s not kneeling on the floor or worse with bare legs.”

“Maya?”

“Hey…”  

As Maya knelt down next to but behind her girlfriend so she was neither in the way nor risking any smuts or dirt drifting off her and somewhere it wouldn’t helpful, she saw Andy switch out Tess and take over assisting Carina with whatever she might need, trying also to ignore how hard and cold the floor felt to her knees, knowing she had rather more layers protecting her legs than her girlfriend.  Automatically noting how Warren was now working at speed on the brother, assisted by Henson as they tried not to get in Andy or Carina’s way, the brother’s hand still firmly being held by his sister, though Maya really hoped for his sakes it wasn’t the broken one, she smiled at Emmett and mouthed ‘well done, keep going’ at him when he looked up at her.  “...I came as fast as I could...”

“Si.  Tess said there is some sort of chicken something that meant mistake?”  Carina had been focused on the baby’s head crowning at the moment the other Lieutenant had been speaking to her, so she’d heard what the Lieutenant had said, but not been paying enough attention to watch out for idioms and colloquialisms.  “It was a bad fire?”

“Cock up.  Yeah.”  Maya saw Carina turn her head and look at her sharply, concern in her eyes, and realised her mistake.  “No, the fire was fine.  I was agreeing there’s a big mistake somewhere.”  She reached out and carefully put her hand discreetly on her girlfriend’s lower back and gave a gentle rub.  “Andy called me as soon as she saw there’d been a still alarm here and I ran here.”  

Maya knew that she would need to have the same conversation (but in a different way) with Emmett after this - he would have probably known the Captain of a Station immediately responds to a Still alarm in their own Stationhouse unless it was physically impossible for them because they were out of the department’s jurisdiction (so assumed to be too far away anyway and so there would be a stand-in ‘Captain’ nominated for the relevant shifts), or because they were already involved in a scene of a sufficiently high priority it was dangerous to switch them out immediately.   She could only imagine therefore, what it must have felt like for Emmett and Carina when they were on their own for so long, especially as the only conclusion they could have formed was Maya was fighting the fire alongside the team, so no point calling her cell, even if they’d had the time.

“Grazie.”  Carina felt her own heart rate shift down a few beats now she’d not only seen Maya with her own eyes, but also had an explanation for her still very pink face, which Carina’s overactive imagination had been kindly pointing out looked like first degree burns and her jacket had smuts on it.

“Ti amo.”  Maya didn’t know much Italian, and most of what she did know took Carina a beat or two to recognise given how badly her tongue got confused as she tried to remember to sound out all the letters in the word and not drop her ‘t’s and lengthen the sound every time it was a double letter.  But that one she did know, and was very good at pronouncing it not only correctly but with added feeling.

Her radio burst into life as the mother, Naomi Maya now remembered Andy saying she was called, as Naomi let out another deep guttural groan, sounding more exhausted than anything else.  Running her hand down the centre of Carina’s back one final time, feeling the tight muscles relaxing as hopefully, she’d managed to help diffuse some of her girlfriend’s anxiety in the brief moment they’d just had, she pushed herself back onto her feet and moved away to answer her radio.

“Better late than never?” guessed Tess when Captain Bishop joined her, after just about managing to refrain from giving Dispatch a piece of her mind for failing to only start giving her updates about the unfolding drama in her own station until now. 

“Yeah.  That drugs request you sent?”

“Err, I just repeated what the Doctor said, but it sounded like hormones and pain relief.”  Tess was an experienced paramedic, had done a couple of emergency deliveries like Maya had, but this was another level.

“Thank you.  Dr Bailey’s bringing it with some extra people and equipment.”  Maya had no idea how Dr Bailey had found out about what was going on, or how she’d managed to, by the sounds of it, find a way of bringing Carina the drugs she wanted plus a mini NICU team, but she was glad.

“NICU at 19?  That’ll shut up Mickleson and those pigs at 42.”  Belatedly the tall, ex-basketball player Lieutenant remembered she was technically trash-talking about another Lieutenant and his station to another station’s Captain.  “I…”

“Don’t apologise,” said Maya quickly, turning to look up to her colleague who she’d known by sight, done a few big calls with, but never really been able to get a chance to know when they’d overlapped at the Academy.  Plus, if she was honest with herself, her ego then hadn’t coped well with finding out the other ‘professional-grade’ athlete in the department had a couple of WNBA seasons under her belt, looked like a catwalk supermodel and was a full foot taller than her, so she’d not exactly gone looking to try and get to know her.   “Thanks for backing her up then, and now.”

“Course Captain…”  Tess dropped her voice a little lower, deciding to get everything out in the open.  “...full disclosure?  I was kinda regretting not asking her out earlier…”  She smirked when she saw Bishop’s spine stiffen.  “...but I’m going out on a short limb here and thinking her being in your station, wearing your shirt means I congratulate you and be glad I didn’t embarrass myself.”  

She saw the Captain’s shoulders shift a fraction again and knew she’d guessed right - that there was something between the Doctor and the Captain was obvious given the Doctor being at 19, and seeing them interact just now had confirmed it wasn’t just a ‘something’, it was the real deal.  

“Thought so.  Lucky woman.”  Tess, not naturally suited to the ‘pink and fluffy’ end of ‘girl talk’, and sensing the Captain wasn’t either, punctuated her remark with a nudging elbow to Bishop’s side.

“Me?  Yes, I am.”  Maya cleared her throat, and took another swig of the water Andy had given her earlier, trying not to think about the fact that this was the first time she’d confirmed her relationship with Carina to someone in the department who wasn’t either at 19 or Dr Lewis.  It wasn’t that no one else knew, because she and Carina were hardly a ‘secret’, but there was a difference between something being ‘known’ and answering an almost direct question.  Compartmentalisation was still useful, something she was excellent at, and she’d lock that thought away until she had time to deal with it.  

“So…”  She cleared her throat again and refocused on the scene overall.   “Herrera’s caught me up to twins, brother’s got broken ribs, arm and nose, both probably concussed and my floor’s gonna need a repaint if we end up with the emergency C-section.”  Maya mentally added to her list that she probably needed a new spare jacket and uniform shirt, but that wasn’t strictly relevant to the scene update from 45’s Lieutenant.  “What’s the deal with the second baby?”

“The Doc’s concerned it’s not in the right position - first one started crowning before she could work it out for sure.  We’re monitoring the heartbeats, she’s happy they’re both okay for now, but that second one needs to move or do something before it can come, but not until…”  Tess made a vague gesture, preferring not to relive the moment when, in hindsight, she had asked a stupidly obvious question.

“Until the first baby’s not in the way and she can work out what’s happening from the inside since she doesn’t have X-ray vision?”  Maya chuckled when she saw Tess’s face, knowing exactly how that conversation must have played out.  “Yeah, I made that mistake as well.”  She bit her lip to stop her chuckle turning into outright laughter when she saw the taller firefighter cross her feet over each other, like she was trying to just forget about having anything anatomically between about her knees and her ribs.  “Did she swear at you in Italian?”

“No.”

“Then you’re fine.”

“She swore at you?”  

Tess had heard the rumours about Bishop’s reputation for being a cold, calculating bitch who’d shafted her own house’s lieutenants and got herself from rank and file to Captain in record quick time, but had always wanted to give the woman the benefit of the doubt.  When the rumours had then shifted to admiration that she’d had the balls to go toe to toe with Dixon more than once, and held her team and herself together after Captain Herrera’s death...Tess had been intrigued to see what had helped the swot-like cadet she’d crossed paths with at the Academy find her groove, liking the sound of the Captain she was becoming.  And now, after crossing paths with Dr Carina DeLuca twice in this shift, she was beginning to think it was less of a ‘what’ and more of a ‘who’ that had helped Maya Bishop to find her missing pieces that helped her find some sort of peace.

“Plenty.  And now I think of that…”  Maya gestured in the direction of where Carina was paying close attention to the emerging baby. “...as happening using a whole separate set of anatomy that I do not have.”  

“Good to know, but I’m still gonna make sure I’m up with Mom’s head when it gets to that part.”  And she suspected she wouldn’t be the only one based on how quick Henson had been to focus on the brother.

“How’s the brother?  And is there anyone else that should be here for, Naomi is it?”  Normally that wasn’t the sort of thing Maya had to worry about unless it was making sure they’d got everyone accounted for at a fire, with the whole notification of family members being brought in by the Aid Cars handled by the hospital, but there wasn’t much normal about this call.

“Yeah, and not according to the brother.”  Tess turned away from the patient so she could talk to Maya without the risk of anyone else accidentally hearing despite them already being some distance away and speaking with low, quiet voices.  “She’s got out of the abusive relationship, abuser’s ex PD apparently, but still with unpleasant friends.  Brother’s in town to help her get back to wherever their home is for her to have the kids and start again.”

Suddenly the driving themselves to the hospital and the lack of cellphones made total sense to Maya, and made her extra glad she’d not bothered trying to get a lift - Ryan Tanner was one of the many good ones, but just like SFD had its Micklesons, so too did the PD, but without Ryan around anymore, they had a hard time knowing who to avoid.

“Wait, so they’re early?  The twins?”  Now Bailey bringing Carina what Dispatch had described as ‘half a hospital’ made even more sense.  No one liked to lose babies, certainly not on Christmas, and definitely not in circumstances like this.

“Apparently the first one’s gonna be called Luca.”  Tess laughed outright when she saw Maya’s face.  “Yeah, that’s what the Doc looked like when she heard too, but they’re not changing their minds.  Decided she’s their Christmas Miracle.”  

They both looked up when headlights swept across the shutters, signalling another large emergency vehicle had turned up.

“You expecting your engine back?”

“No…”  Jogging across the barn to the door through into the rest of the station, aware of Tess subbing out Andy again, Maya pulled out her keys and unlocked the door, wanting to conserve as much heat for their surprise guests as possible and make it harder to keep unwanted visitors out in case this wasn’t a social call by another Aid Car or Engine.  “...oh.”  

Maya let out a huge sigh of relief.

Looks like Carina wasn’t the only Miracle they were getting this Christmas...

Chapter Text

“That’s…”  Andy joined Maya on the driveway after being subbed out by Tess, appreciating the other Lieutenant’s courtesy that Andy should be the second overall at the scene after Maya, not Tess, despite her being first on scene.  “...how?”

“I have no idea,” said Maya, as surprised as Andy was to see the PRT vehicle sitting on their driveway and Dr Bailey getting out of the passenger side of the cab.  “But if anyone could it would be Bailey.”

“BISHOP!”

“Hi Dr Bailey.”  Sharing a grin with Andy at the feisty surgeon’s attitude, making it clear they were dealing with the Grey-Sloan Chief of Surgery and not Ben’s wife, Maya headed over to meet the surgeon.  “I didn’t know you did house calls.”  Maya looked past Bailey to see who was exiting the back of the PRT vehicle and her jaw literally dropped.

“Dr Altman?  Dr Shepherd?”  She glanced at Andy to check she wasn’t hallucinating, only to see her friend was as surprised.

“I’m the coffee elf,” said Amelia, holding up the cardboard tray of coffees that she’d managed to buy from the all night coffee cart in the hospital lobby that, while not as great as the one Carina favoured outside the front entrance, was about the best coffee option available at 6-something on Christmas Day morning.  “And I want to see the puppies.”

“Puppies mostly,” admitted Teddy honestly, rubbing her hands together to keep them warm, regretting not having the time to grab her outdoor jacket to wear over her scrubs and white coat.  “But I’m on shift still, then on call so will do all the admit for Carina.”    She shrugged.  “Plus I was stood next to Bailey when she was about to leave and it was me or…”  She guessed that Carina hadn’t had a chance to tell Maya about why that particular intern was at the top of the rarely used DeLuca Shit List and had a whole chapter in the Bailey Directory of Doctors She Did Not Trust, so didn’t bother naming them.  “...very high blood pressure.”

“Puppies?”  Bailey, while Amelia and Teddy had been talking to Maya, had been showing Andy what else she’d brought with her in the PRT.  “Nobody told me anything about puppies?”  She looked sharply between Andy and Maya.  “I thought it was twins?”  Though if anyone could turn her OB/GYN Attending into a Veterinarian and persuade Grey-Sloan to start doing Animal cases, it would probably be Station 19.

“Different call, it’s been…”  Andy tried to find some words that wouldn’t drop Warren in it with his wife, guessing he’d not mentioned the puppies when they were at the hospital and missed the call being relaid through from Dispatch to Bailey by a few minutes.  “...one of those shifts.”

“I hear you,” said Amelia, taking her woolly hat off and without any ceremony dumping it onto Teddy’s head, despite it being the surgeon’s hands that were feeling the cold the most, earning her a bemused look from the cardiothoracic specialist.  “I only care about your brain.”

Maya, picking up on Teddy’s coldness, shrugged out of her jacket and put it around the shivering surgeon, not wanting to have to be responsible for explaining how Grey-Sloan was short a Department Head with Double Pneumonia, while trying to place who the driver of the PRT was that had just walked around the front of the vehicle but was keeping respectfully out of the circle of surgeons surrounding Andy and Maya.

“Chief Sato?”  Maya liked the Battalion Chief who had stepped in after Sullivan’s hearing, but was now wondering how and why he was there - since when did a Still Alarm that wasn’t a fire warrant a Battalion Chief?

“I’m just the Driver Captain,” he said coming forwards and reaching out to shake her hand.  “Happy Christmas by the way.”

“And you Sir.”  Now she looked at him properly, he wasn’t dressed for taking command of the scene, but looked like he had been working an Aid Car Shift?  For Station 4?  “How…”

“Did I get to join the cavalry?” he grinned a very un-Chief like broad smile.  The doctors’ sense of adventure as they loaded up the PRT, excited at the thought of heading out of the hospital to collect their own patient, was proving rather infectious.  “Christmas tradition in the Sato household, I work a shift with one of my nephews.  This year it’s Aid Car with Josh, he’s the Probie at Station 4.”

The Satos, like the Herreras, were a firefighting family, with his older brothers down on the Marine units and refusing to contemplate any promotions since that would take them away from piloting the SFD boats.  Last Maya had heard, three of their children, Chief Sato’s nephews, had now completed the Academy, with a niece just started: give it another two years and there would be enough Satos in the department to cover a whole shift.  He blew on his hands, finding the wind had quite a bite to it, then shoved them in his pockets - he was slightly better prepared for the cold than Dr Altman, but not by much.  Then again, he did wonder if he had to accept that being Battalion Chief was possibly making him soft.  

“We’d just cleared a call at Grey-Sloan when I heard Dr Bailey remark that the one time she wanted to borrow a firefighter there weren’t any of us making her hospital look untidy and getting in the way.”  He gestured to the PRT.  “It’s been parked at Grey-Sloan - Dr Bailey pointed out quite reasonably that since she’d paid for the truck and the equipment while we were paying for the gas, she got custody in the...divorce.”  Maya remembered that, in amongst the Sullivan hearing which had been Station 19’s preoccupation, Chief Sato had stepped up and helped the Deputy Chief cover the gap Dixon’s demise had created.  “But it still needs someone from SFD driving it for the insurance.”

“Ah.”  Maya had a feeling there was rather more to the story than just that, but she could see that he’d clearly managed to get on well with Bailey and was, as the grapevine had always said, a ‘firefighter’s chief’.  “Permission to let Dr DeLuca call you Santa then Sir?” joked Maya, watching the little procession Andy was now leading back into the Station which seemed to contain, in addition to the Heads of Neurosurgery, Cardiothoracic Surgery and Chief of Surgery, two NICU nurses Maya recognised from when she’d visited Carina up in her office and various bags which Maya suspected contained everything Carina could possibly have put on her wish list, not to mention whatever else was left on the PRT.

“On condition I get to come visit 19 and meet your team properly Captain.”  He saw the Aid Car he was supposed to be riding in approaching, being driven especially cautiously by his nephew.  “And don’t tell Station 4 I let Josh drive, he’s only done twelve fires.”

“Secret’s safe with me Sir,” agreed Maya, shaking his hand again as he prepared to go take over the Aid Car driving and head back to Station 4.  “And of course, you’re welcome any time…”  She was about to say he was welcome to come in now if he wanted to, but they heard an especially loud roar as the shutters started to open, making them both wince.  “...but it was certainly quieter when we had the tiger.”

“Another time.”  He turned to go, then paused, debating whether he said anything or not.

“Something on your mind Sir?”  Maya decided it was easier to tackle whatever was concerning him head on, otherwise she’d just end up being anxious until whenever she next saw him.

“Could you please pass on my sincere apologies to Dr DeLuca?  I will be in contact with her formally in the New Year to offer the Department’s apologies officially, we appear to have let her down rather badly this shift, more than once I think.”  He paused, listening as they both heard another loud roar of exhausted anguish echo around the Station.  “Please ask her to make the complaint - Dr Bailey was telling me about it on the way.”

“Thank you Sir, I will do.”

The Aid Car came to a careful stop at the bottom of the driveway and they both watched as Josh Sato got out, knowing that was the end of his turn at driving.

“Have a good rest of your Shift Chief.”

“Thank you Captain, tell me, are the computers always this slow?”

“No Comment Sir.”  At her attempted poker face he chuckled, making Maya feel a little bolder.  “I might try writing to Santa for a better one next year.”

“Message received Captain, Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas Sir.”  There was another loud cry, that stopped quickly, followed by a fainter, higher pitched one that could only be one thing.  

“Sounds like 19’s latest Probie’s just started Shift Captain.”  And with another handshake, Chief ‘Santa’ Sato headed back to his Aid Car shift, whistling Jingle Bells.

“Drink.”  The moment Carina had handed off the first newborn to the welcome sight of a familiar NICU nurse, Carina found a takeaway coffee container was thrust in front of her face, nearly bashing her in the mouth.

“Eh?”  Pulling her head away from the coffee cup, though not before the aroma told her that it contained hot liquid her brain was actually prepared to recognise as proper coffee, Carina looked up to see where it had come from.  “Amelia?”

“Coffee, from the lobby cart.”  Amelia put the cup in front of her friend’s mouth again, and this time they managed to coordinate their movements well enough that Carina could have a decent drink of it, which not only gave her a much needed boost in that she could finally have some pleasant coffee, but the hot liquid helped to warm her up and gave her the caffeine.

“Grazie.”  Carina tore off her gloves and stretched her back and arms, content for the moment that her patient was in that very happy place where she forgot about her exhaustion while she was transfixed by the sight of her first-born son that the NICU nurse was helping her and her brother meet, propped up by the remarkably calm and supportive Emmett.  For the moment, she would have also, in Carina’s experience, forgotten about the fact that she was having twins and they still needed to get baby number two out.  Which reminded Carina…  “Amelia?  You probably want to move.”

“I’m good…”  Amelia saw Carina pulling on her new set of gloves and remembered something Bailey had said.  “...oh, wait, this is twins?”

“Si.”   Carina couldn’t help but chuckle at her friend’s quick retreat to what Carina considered an overly generous distance.  “Why does everything think  babies fly out of vaginas...Why are you here?”  Much as she loved her friend, Carina hadn’t felt there was anything in her request to Grey-Sloan via the tall Lieutenant that would have indicated a neurology consult was a priority.

“I’m the coffee elf, and I want to see the puppies.”  Amelia glanced around the large space, never having been to the Station before and seeing that everyone was currently busy doing something.  “You know Bailey’s here, but she brought two NICU nurses in that clever operating theatre on wheels project Warren had for a bit.”  Amelia hadn’t been paying attention to what everyone was calling it, which in hindsight was probably not that useful.

“The PRT?”

“That’s the one.”  

Bailey had already had a quick conversation with Carina as the first baby finally made his grand entrance, and was currently preparing whatever drug combination Carina wanted to give Naomi, but given that Carina’s multi-tasking skills were already fairly well tested trying to coach Naomi through the final push, safely deliver the baby and tell Bailey how to calculate the drug doses she wanted, Amelia was confident her friend didn’t yet know what else Bailey had brought with her, aside from the NICU nurse currently helping the new Mom have that first mind-blowing moment with her son.  

“So Bailey’s got all the drugs you wanted, plus that truck’s got all the toys and the NICU sent you two of their portable units.”

“Si.  Caffè per favore.”

“Oh, right.”  Amelia moved back to where she’d been before and held the cup up so Carina could have another decent mouthful or two of it.

“Grazie.”

“‘Course.  Anyway, Teddy’s here too.”

“Teddy?”  Carina looked around for the other surgeon with the eye that wasn’t keeping an extremely close eye on her patient, deciding she could have another minute with her first baby before they had to all concentrate on working out how baby number two was going to go.

“She’s wearing Bishop’s jacket.”  Amelia looked down and saw what Carina was wearing, and using as protection for her bare legs from the cold concrete floor, which was also reminding Amelia that childbirth was not a clean and tidy process and she shouldn’t judge given there was no reason to think she’d been any different.  “Okay, her other jacket.”

“I guessed.”  Carina had immediately realised that whoever it was who was walking around in Maya’s jacket wasn’t her girlfriend, but hadn’t got as far as working out who it was until she’d known Teddy was an option.  “More visitors for the puppies?”

“A bit, but she’s offered to do the admission, save you having to go in with them if you don’t need to.  And she’s, well, good with goo.”  

“Goo?”  That, Carina thought, was the noise most people seemed to make to their tiny newborns, but from memory, Teddy had been rather more coherent, so it probably was another strange Americanism she was too tired to untangle.

“Gloop?”  Carina shook her head, so Amelia tried again.  

“Gunk?”

“No…”

“She means…”  Maya leaned down and whispered in her girlfriend’s ear so that Naomi, who was just declaring that she’d like the baby’s name on the patient chart be ‘Luca, after the doctor’, wouldn’t hear, as having the doctors teasing each other probably didn’t inspire confidence. “...the icky stuff that proper doctors deal with.”

“Ah, si.”  Carina smiled when she felt Maya brush a kiss to the side of her head.  “Teddy is much better at goo than Amelia.”  She then turned to look at Maya, seeing that she was looking her usual healthy self again and not so pink, though she’d obviously spent a fair bit of time outside after giving Teddy her jacket given how much snow was still melting into her shirt.  And that was something she could work out because Maya was still crouched down next to her, perfectly still.   

“Bella?” In Carina’s extensive and well-researched experience, Maya staying perfectly still like that was not something easily achieved except in very specific situations, all but one of which were definitely not currently possible - neither of them were naked, Carina hadn’t just asked her to stay still because Carina was feeling sick, Maya wasn’t asleep or running a fever, nor did Carina think she’d just thrown up - which just left Maya needing to talk about something she was certain Carina wasn’t going to like.  

“We’re going to bring the PRT in for you in a minute, but that means moving the trucks about.”  Maya wasn’t sure how good the ventilation was going to be at shifting the exhaust fumes from the trucks, and how bad it might be for Naomi and Carina, who were literally at the same height as the vehicle tailpipes and right in the middle of the cloud of fumes.    But she also knew that moving Naomi wasn’t going to be easy so they needed to get the PRT as close to where she currently was as possible - best case they could then lift her into the PRT, but worse case would be they couldn’t move her at all and instead had to pull all the equipment the doctors wanted out of the vehicle and recreate the PRT’s treatment space around Naomi.  “I’d like to get you and Naomi in our masks…”  She could tell as she spoke that her girlfriend wasn’t following her, so started again, not wanting to pull rank on Carina unless she absolutely had to.  “We’ve got a lot of trucks out front to move for this to work, as well as the ones in here.  The wind’s blowing onto the station, so there’s going to be a lot of exhaust fumes that will come in plus the trucks we’re moving in here.  And you’re both right in the middle of it.  Our masks will keep it out.”  Maya glanced back at Emmett, who already had his by him and held it up for Carina to see, he not being currently needed in his capacity as impromptu birthing partner.

“But…”

“Please Carina…” Maya reached out, instinctively wanting to take hold of her girlfriend’s hand, only to stop herself when she remembered where those hands had been, and more significantly, were about to go again.  “...I know you’re the expert doctor here, but staying safe in fumes and bad air is what I do.”  

Their eyes were locked on each other, a silent battle of wills between them, neither wanting to be the obstacle in the way of the other one doing their best job, but both equally determined that they weren’t prepared to have their professional authority compromised.

“You are that worried?” asked Carina finally, after what felt like an age of being locked in this stalemate with Maya but was actually only the time it took for her to take two breaths.  She didn’t like the idea of wearing the mask, not least because she was a little claustrophobic sometimes, but she’d never stopped trusting Maya on anything to do with firefighting, and while she’d had a period when she didn’t know if she trusted Maya or not with her heart, those days were long behind them.

“I want you to be as safe as I can make it, for all of you.”  Maya grinned, knowing what Carina was going to say.  “And yes, I know that’s not the answer to your question, but it’s the only answer I can give you.”  What she was actually concerned about was that her girlfriend was exhausted, physically and probably also emotionally from her shift at the hospital even without this extra delivery which was bringing its own extra stresses with it.  Maya knew from experience how much harder everything became under those circumstances, and how little tolerance the body then had for something as usually tolerable as a bit of dirty air, though in this case, it would be rather more than that.

“Va bene.”  Carina leaned forwards, glad when Maya gently caught hold of her shoulders to stop her toppling over completely, and kissed her girlfriend on the lips, not caring that it was perhaps not the ‘done’ thing.  “Si, we will have your masks, but first I must do the exam.”

“Of course.”  Maya didn’t let go of Carina until she was certain she was steady again after their impromptu almost hug.  “We’ll not start moving the trucks until you’re in the masks, and we’ll only do that when you’re ready.

“We?”

“Andy’s getting her mask ready for Naomi, and prepping mine for you.  And we’re both going to be right with you.  Ok?”

“Si.”  Carina nodded, seeing Bailey return with the injections she wanted Naomi to have, signalling it was time to work out what was going on with baby number two.  “This is the bit you do not like to think about Bella,” teased Carina, well aware that her girlfriend was not much better with the ‘goo’ part of her specialty than Amelia was.

“That’s my cue.”

“And mine,” agreed Amelia, making Carina laugh before she then started to talk to Naomi about what she was about to have Dr Bailey inject her with, and her exam.

“Not so fast Bishop…”

“Amelia.”  Maya waited for Amelia to catch her up, then continued walking, having a pretty good idea she was about to be interrogated.  “Not yet,” she muttered, keeping walking until they were practically outside in front of the Station again, not wanting to risk Carina or Naomi overhearing.  “Ok, now you can yell at me about whatever you want to yell at me about, but only if you do it quietly.”

“What are you not telling her?  About why you want them in the masks, you know about…”

“About the claustrophobia?  Yes, I know.”  A part of Maya was pleased when she saw Amelia look a bit contrite - of course Maya knew that, she was Carina’s girlfriend, in love with her with every fibre of her being and the one that had woken up to find Carina having a panic attack in her sleep after she’d been stuck in the lift at Grey-Sloan for a couple of hours a few months back.  “The PRT is a converted Aid Car, but the amount of power it needs is more than the battery can provide.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that once we bring it inside we can’t turn the engine off, which is fine if we can transfer them into the back of it, but…”

“But if there’s no time, baby number two comes where they are right now?”

“Yeah, and before you ask, if that happens Bailey’s already said they’ll need to use some of the PRT equipment anyway…”

“Which means they’re still right next to the tailpipe of a truck with a running engine,” concluded Amelia, seeing what Maya meant, having already heard from Teddy how much easier it would be for Carina to do an emergency C-section on the floor of the station if the PRT was adjacent than not nearby at all.  With much of the monitoring equipment being wireless, it could be helpful even if they couldn’t get Naomi into the vehicle’s treatment space.  “You really do think of everything, don’t you?”

“It’s literally my job right now...”  Maya saw the Engine arriving, Jack having texted her just before she went to talk to Carina to say they were on their way back to the station.  She knew she needed to go talk to Jack, but decided she needed to make sure Amelia understood that this wasn’t Grey-Sloan, and as much as she cared for her friend, she was going to be a long way second to Maya’s commitment to doing everything she could for Carina and her patient, professionally and personally.

“So doesn’t that mean you’re supposed to be the one wearing your mask then?”  Amelia couldn’t see how Maya was going to be ‘right with’ Carina wearing her breathing mask if Carina was already wearing it, making her suspicious that the firefighter was going to somehow leave Carina in the lurch.  “Or is that another thing you have two of?”

“Only got one mask,” said Maya simply, understanding that Amelia liked her fairly well as a person but still didn’t entirely like her being with Carina for some reason, presumably the obvious one.  But Amelia wasn’t the person she’d hurt, wasn’t the person she’d broken the trust of, wasn’t the person she was so in love with that breathing hurt at the thought of something happening to them.  “But I’d take smoke and fume inhalation every time if it meant Carina was getting good air.”  She saw Jack jump down from the engine and start to walk towards her.  “Excuse me, I need to go talk to my team.”  

She set off outside to talk to Jack - not only did they not really have the space for the Engine just at the moment what with the two Aid Cars, PRT and Ladder all parked up at strange angles rather than neatly lined up ready for the next alarm, but there was still the small matter of the car met streetlight accident that needed looking for, if only to make sure there wasn’t any leaking gas from the car.  If ever there was a shift she didn’t want a last minute call coming in, it was this one.

“She ok?” asked Teddy, coming up to stand next to Amelia, helping herself to one of the coffees still sitting in the cardboard tray Amelia was holding, having refused it on the ride up to the station in case one of the 19 guys were desperate for the caffeine hit.

“Yeah, her job’s…”

“Rather more than spraying water on flames?”  Teddy had been taking in some of what Maya was having to keep track of and co-ordinate once she’d caught Warren up in the same way Amelia had for Carina.  “How’s Carina?”

“She really loves her, doesn’t she?”  Amelia knew Carina loved Maya, it was hard to not see it if you spent any time with them, but seeing them just now reach the agreement about the masks, seeing how much she’d hurt Maya with her bloody stupid question about whether or not she knew about Carina’s very private battle with claustrophobia that Amelia had only discovered when she’d mistakenly presumed it would be no big deal to get Carina to return the favour and have an MRI of her brain (admittedly without masturbation as a distraction) to help Amelia with her current research project.

“You only just noticed?”  Teddy looked at Amelia through narrowing eyes, realising the significance of her discomfort.  “Wait, who is ‘she’ in that statement, and what did you do?”

“Maya, and be an insensitive idiot.”  Amelia had been sceptical when she’d heard Carina had agreed to take Maya back, and move in with her so quickly, and while it was obvious to Amelia that her friend loved Maya, she’d clearly never quite got past her initial scepticism about the sincerity of the firefighter’s commitment until just now.

“Yes.”  Teddy could guess what had prompted Amelia’s idiot admission, knowing she’d been not Maya’s biggest fan, or any sort of fan really after the split, and she’d been very slow to warm to her again after the relationship resumed, though had made a point to remain polite and friendly so as not to attract Carina’s ire.  “You didn’t see her that day.”

“So you kept saying.”  Amelia picked up her coffee and took a thoughtful sip, not needing to be reminded what ‘that day’ was when Teddy had found herself in the middle, literally, of Maya and Carina’s first step in their reconciliation.  “I get it now.”  She looked back over her shoulder, watching Carina as she, exam evidently finished, was explaining whatever she’d discovered to Naomi, unable to shake the feeling that there was something different about her friend now compared to when she’d last seen her at the hospital, as ridiculous as that sounded.  “Is it me, or…”  She turned back to look at Teddy, seeing she wasn’t looking quite as confused by Amelia’s ramblings as she’d expected.  “...is there something…”

“Different?”

“Yes.  You don’t think she’s...”

“Pregnant?”

“No!”  Amelia gave Teddy a rather long-suffering look.  “...I was going to say engaged, but it’s not that.”

“No, but I know what you mean.”  Teddy glanced back at Carina before looking again at Maya, only then realising that she was stood out in the now heavily falling snow talking to whoever was driving the engine in just her shirt, as Teddy was still wearing her heavy jacket.  “You know,” she said, thinking back to the call she’d had with Carina earlier, when she’d seen the puppies but also seen how at home Carina had seemed in Maya’s bunk space and clothes, which she didn’t think had anything to do with the puppies. “...I think it’s got something to do with a baseball cap…”

Chapter Text

“Can we have Dr Altman with us for every shift please Captain?”

“Not sure we can afford her Montgomery.”  Maya stood at the back of the Station 45 Aid Car, watching as Teddy deftly dealt with whatever it was that was going on in Sam’s chest.  “Can we check he’s not decided to overlook any other symptoms in his rush to be the world’s best uncle please?”

“We thought we’d already done that twice,” observed Tess mildly, not disagreeing with Maya’s request, but feeling a small amount of Station 45 pride needed defending.  “And your guy, er Warren is it?  He’d looked him over too.”

“There wasn’t any way to know guys,” said Teddy quietly but firmly, not wanting the two firefighters to have a debate about this.  “Just one of those things.”  They’d known about his broken ribs on his left hand side, but no one had noticed anything on his right hand side and he’d not complained of any discomfort.  So it had been quite a shock for Montgomery and Henson, the other member of 45 on their Aid Car, when their patient had suddenly gone from stable but bruised to unresponsive.  “I’ll have a thorough look when I get him to Grey-Sloan, but this might not be anything trauma related.”  Finished, she looked up at the monitor, satisfied with his readings.  “Or at least, not entirely trauma related.  And you guys would have done fine.”  She pulled off her gloves and stood up, joining Maya outside the Aid Car, which was still parked inside Station 19.  “Happy Christmas by the way,” she said as an afterthought, not sure she’d said it yet to the Captain.

“And you, do you want him to go now?” Maya had been looking around the Station, trying to picture the sequence they’d need to move the various vehicles in to get the Aid Car out without disturbing the PRT.  It had been a long time since she’d been so conscious about the size of their vehicles - probably not since the driving courses at the Academy when she was a Cadet, but right now Station 19 was feeling rather small.

“As long as his O2 continues to rise he can stay,” said Teddy calmly, knowing it was the unconventional call to make in this situation, but this was a very unconventional situation.  “He should be back with us any minute, and I think he’ll be calmer here with his sister and nephew.”

“And calm is good?”

“Calm is very good,” confirmed Teddy, looking at Maya with a clinician’s eye.  “How are you?”

“I’m very calm.”  Maya inclined her head towards the shutters, sensing that this was about to become a ‘Teddy’ conversation rather than a ‘Dr Altman’ one. Plus, while the air in the barn was doing better now only the PRT engine was running, and they’d set up fans to clear the fumes, Maya had inhaled plenty while they were getting the trucks in position and then transferring Naomi into the PRT, so a bit of cold, crisp outdoor air was welcome.   And gave her an idea.  Since they were walking around the front of Station 19’s Aid Car, Maya reached through the open passenger door and picked up her helmet, which Andy had put there when she’d arrived.  “Here.”

“What do I need that for?”

“Well, usually when we let the kids climb on the ladder for a photo we have them wear the helmet.”  Maya held out her helmet again, which this time Teddy took, her eyes giving away her excitement despite her otherwise rather skilful ‘serious surgeon’ expression.  “Since you’ve already got the coat…”  Maya had been amused to see that Teddy was still wearing her turnout coat - she guessed the surgeon’s Army experience meant there was probably something familiar about the heavy protective jacket, as most people, when they wore the turnout kit, couldn’t get over how heavy it was.

“Seriously?”  Teddy gave up all attempts at looking anything other than excited.

“Sure.  Here…”  Maya took the helmet back and turned it around so the ‘Captain’ was at the front, and moved the chin strap out of the way.  “...there you go.”  Leaving Teddy to adjust to the weight of the helmet too, Maya walked over to the Ladder, remembering she’d got an energy bar in the door pocket.

“It’s heavy!”  Teddy stood, moving her head about, feeling the helmet wobble about on her head.  “And looser than I thought it would be.”  Having centred it again with her hand, she walked over to join Maya by the Ladder.

“Some of it’s because we probably have different head shapes,” explained Maya, grabbing the energy bar from the door pocket, and the SFD cap she’d forgotten she’d left there, then gesturing for Teddy to go ahead and climb up into the cab if she wanted to.   “But also it’s got to fit over our masks.”  Having pulled her cap on, not bothered by the cold air but knowing covering her head would help, Maya opened the energy bar and took a generous bite as she moved back a bit and took out her phone.  

“Ready?”  She laughed when Teddy turned towards her, the surgeon’s smile so bright she really didn’t look all that different to Marcus when he’d come by earlier in the week and had the same photo opportunity, though he’d been wearing Gibson’s gear.  After taking a few pictures of the surgeon, Maya called out, “see the bank of switches in the centre?”

“Yeah…”  Teddy tried to work out what all the codes and letters might mean.  “...don’t worry, I’m not going to touch them.”

“I was going to suggest you pressed the second one in from the left on the top row.”

“Top row second from left?”

“Yeah.”  Maya took another bite of her energy bar, idly noting that whatever flavour it was supposed to be, it should have been promoted as ‘cardboard with syrup’.

“What does it do?”

“Push it and find out.”

Maya had to smile at how nervous Teddy looked as she reached for the button - compared to how she’d been a few minutes earlier when she’d been getting Sam breathing again.

“Oh!”  Teddy laughed when she saw the snow covered driveway and street bathed in swirling red light.

After she’d taken a couple more pictures of the surgeon, Maya put the last of her energy bar in her mouth and headed back over to Teddy.

“How do I turn them off?”

“Same button again, top row…”

“...second from left,” remembered Teddy as the lights went out.  “Thank you.”  She let Maya help her down, then followed her as she headed towards the back of the engine, fascinated by the gleaming equipment, but also by the quiet woman showing it to her.

“You know, there’s quite a few people who won’t be that fond of you in the next few days at Grey-Sloan.”

“Oh?”  Maya stopped and leaned against the chromed panel on the side of the Ladder, gesturing to Teddy that she could climb up if she wanted.  “Yeah, that’s the one,” she added, seeing Teddy wasn’t certain she’d reached for the right grab point.  “What did I do?  Specifically?”  She was used to being teased by Carina’s friends about being unpopular at the hospital for removing the popular Dr DeLuca from the eligible single doctor list, but it had been a mostly old joke for a while now.

“Win at Christmas Romance.  Whatever you’ve done in the last few hours, it’s got Carina floating on Cloud 19.  And it’s not even dawn on Christmas Day yet.”

“Cloud Nine.”  Maya, used to her girlfriend rearranging idioms when she wasn’t familiar with them, automatically corrected Teddy, only then realising that she had evidently said it wrong deliberately, but not sure why.  Seeing where Teddy had got to, Maya quickly climbed up and joined her, not wanting the surgeon to attempt to go any further, but also not wanting to have the rest of this conversation at a shout.  “What do you mean?”

“You’ve done something, that’s made her…”  Teddy took off the helmet after getting a quick nod from Maya that it was alright for her to take it off while they were up on the Ladder, and put it down where the Captain pointed to.  “...feel at home here, at 19.  And she’s spending time with the cutest puppies I’ve ever seen.”

“I think that’s Bailey’s doing…” said Maya, looking into the Station, seeing the PRT back in the garage, something she’d been convinced would never happen again.  “And the puppies are…”

“...not hers yet, I know.”  Teddy still had no idea how it would work, but she could feel it in her gut that those puppies would be growing up with Carina.  It wasn’t something she’d thought about before she’d seen them with Carina, but she just couldn’t shake the feeling now she’d had it - Carina was so obviously a dog person and, while she had no idea if Maya was or not, she was so obviously a Carina-person that if just felt natural that there would be dogs in their future one way or another.  “And I didn’t mean with Naomi and the twins Maya.”  Teddy carefully turned so she could study the Captain, trying to spot the chinks in her stoicism armour.  “She’s…”  Teddy almost brought up how Amelia had thought it could be they’d got engaged, but decided it was perhaps not a good idea to bring up Amelia when they were quite a few feet off the ground, just in case.  “...what’s the baseball cap about?”

“Hmm?”  Maya took the cap she was wearing off her head and looked at it, snapping off a loose thread with her fingers.  “It’s just a cap.”  

Actually, now she looked at it, it really was just a generic SFD cap and not her Station 19 one.  So how did this one...oh, yeah...she remembered now, she’d been at headquarters dropping off some paperwork last month when she’d crossed over with a school group that was being shown round.  She’d almost laughed at the look of relief on the cadet’s face when he’d seen her and, in a moment of weakness she’d been swept up into their tour for an impromptu question and answer session in the front entrance.  The group was from one of the girls only schools in the City and all the fire department people they’d so far met were men, so a female firefighter, and a Station Captain to boot was someone they had lots of questions for.  She was fairly certain that the cadet was promising her his firstborn by the time the group photo was being taken, with the teachers singing the praises of him for organising the session with Maya, the cap thrust into her hand by one of the HQ guys so she looked like she’d been planned as a speaker from the start.  She should probably look up who he was, they’d be needing to get another Probie before too long...

“I’m talking about the one Carina has now.”  Teddy realised she’d hit the jackpot when Maya’s head snapped up, studying her, waiting to see what she was going to say next.  “I saw it, on her head, the second time I called her.”

“She wasn’t wearing it.”  Maya remembered the second call she’d seen Carina take from Teddy - they’d been in the Beanery about to hopefully get some edible French Toast, but got a call instead.

“You were on a call, she was in your bunk.”

“Ah.”

“I’m guessing the Captain’s Bunk doesn’t actually have bunkbeds?”

“The stacking ones kids have? No…”  It didn’t take long for Maya to realise why Teddy was asking and smirked. “...did Carina say I had a bunkbed?”

“Yes.”

“The Captain’s Bunk is, like a college dorm room, but with a full bed not a twin.”  Maya put the baseball cap back on, appreciating the benefit of having her head covered given she was in her shirt and t-shirt, but she wasn’t going to let Teddy take her coat off.  “Lieutenants have twins and the rest are cots.  I thought Warren gave you the tour?”

“Of the PRT and Aid Car, not the whole Station.  But that’s beside the point.”  Teddy was Queen of Misdirects when she wanted to be, and wasn’t going to fall for the same trick from Maya now.  “I had a patient earlier that I wanted to run their treatment by Carina, and the second time I called her, she was in your bunk with the puppies.”

“Ah, so that’s how you knew about them.”  Maya had been wondering how Teddy and Amelia had known about the puppies, fairly certain that neither of the DeLuca siblings had mentioned them to anyone at the hospital, just as keen to avoid Bailey’s ire as Warren was.

“Yeah.  And she was wearing a cap like that.”

“It’s not quite like this one,” corrected Maya automatically, blushing when she realised she’d just proved Teddy’s point and deciding to just give in.  So she took the cap off again and passed it to Teddy.  “Keep it, seriously, you can have it as a souvenir.”  The surgeon would probably be safer wearing the cap when they climbed down from the truck rather than Maya’s helmet.  “It’s a general SFD one HQ have to give to school visits, community events.  It’s like the ones we wear, but we have our Station number on the back.”

“If I was to ever see Carina’s one, I’m guessing it’s got 19 on it then?” asked Teddy, putting the cap on, finding it a lot easier to wear than the heavy helmet.  “And thank you.”  It might ‘only’ be a general SFD one, but it would always be a reminder of this strange, special Christmas morning and, in particular, this opportunity to get past the firefighter uniform and get to know the person who had captured Carina’s heart.

“Yes.  No problem.”

“Am I right in thinking if this had 19 on it, no matter how beat up it was, you’d not have given it to me?”  Teddy saw Maya shrug and then nod, making her think of some of the things the Units did in the Army after the medics had been with them for a certain number of days or explosions or whatever.

“I guess…”  Maya wondered how to explain it all - she’d never really planned on ever doing it, never mind explaining it to anyone else after she’d done it, but found she wanted Teddy to understand now she’d brought it up.  “...it’s bit of firefighter tradition, a sign you’re now part of the Stationhouse family...each Station has its own specific traditions for when partners and kids get them...and I should have done it a while back.”

“Olympic Gold Medal winning Captain Bishop a bit slow?”  Teddy nudged her with her elbow to emphasise she was teasing her.  “First time for everything I guess...main thing is you did it when you felt it was right, for all of you.”

“All of who?”

“You, Carina and them.”  Teddy nodded towards the Station, where the team were quietly hard at work, either assisting with the management of their various patients or doing the station’s neverending list of chores, including removing all traces of the first delivery right in the middle of the garage.  “Family is a strange thing, I should know…”  Teddy chuckled when she saw Maya’s look of curiosity. “...I forget you don’t automatically know decades of hospital gossip.  My point is the people who love us sometimes need a bit more time to adjust to who we become when we’ve found the person we love, and the person we fall in love with often needs some time to adjust to who comes with us too.  And vice versa”  Teddy leaned in towards Maya, like she was sharing a big secret.  “Like, we both get Amelia as a bonus.”

“We do?”  Maya could see how she ‘got’ Amelia as a bonus, since she was like a sister to Carina, but couldn’t see the connection to Teddy.

“My step-son, she was very nearly his Mom, and is now his ‘Aunt Amelia’.”

“Ah.”  Maya thought for a moment, not surprised by the point Teddy was making, but finding she was making it in a way that meant Maya thought about the dynamic between Carina and her teammates a bit differently to how she’d thought about it previously.  “So it’s a good sign that the team were mad at me for not having done it already?”  She shook her head at Teddy’s rather ‘loud’ raised eyebrow.  “Given Carina the Station cap - they’d all assumed I’d done it already in secret.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did they assume you’d done it already?”

“At 19, and most stations I think, you give the cap when you move in together or get engaged.”

“Didn’t she move in with you months ago?”

“Yeah, but the pandemic and quarantine and everything was weird...and I didn’t want to think about it because...never mind.”

“You didn’t want to think about it because what?”  Teddy turned round carefully so she could look properly at the younger woman, fairly certain that Maya wasn’t the sort of person who’d be easily pressured by her friends into doing something involving Carina that she wasn’t genuinely comfortable doing, but wanting to check since it was Carina they were talking about.  As much as Teddy didn’t worry now  about Maya’s sincerity, love and commitment to the Italian, she wouldn’t be a good friend to Carina if she didn’t double check on occasion.

“It’s a silly superstition.”

“My scrub cap has to always have birds on it.”

“Why? Is that even a thing?”  Maya hadn’t ever thought about what the surgeons wore in theatre, assuming it was single use standard issue.

“It’s a silly superstition.”  Teddy deliberately parroted back Maya’s words, to make sure she understood her point - surgeons could be just as superstitious as firefighters.   “My favourite person in the world ever loved birds.”  Teddy paused, finding it difficult to think about Alison without feeling the twist in her guts for a moment before taking a breath and moving on.  “Another story for another time, but I think you’d have liked her...she’d have loved you and Carina.”  She cleared her throat, surprised that she did genuinely want to tell Carina and Maya about Alison sometime, but not right now.  “I’ve shared mine…”

“Tradition goes that when the Captain gives the station cap, you have to complete a turn for every unit in your command within the length of one kiss.”

“And you’re the captain of…”  Teddy glanced around, like she was double checking they hadn’t multiplied in the last few minutes. “...three units?  So three turns? How?  Like on a spinning chair or dance step?”

“Yes.  And yeah, it’s usually a sort of shuffle step.  If you can do more it’s supposed to bring the station good luck, but if you don’t make it through them all, it’s bad luck.  And with everything going on…”

“You didn’t want to risk the bad luck?”

“Something like that.  Plus it felt a bit...rude, kissing Carina in front of everyone what with Warren and Bailey, and Andy and Robert...you hear about that?”

“Oh, Amelia’s Abstinence Approach to Addition Management?  Yeah, we heard about that, Bailey wasn’t impressed.”

“Bailey?  What’d Bailey have to do with it?  Wait, don’t tell me if it means I find out about Warren’s sex life.”  Maya might not have decades of experience with the Grey-Sloan grapevine, but she was getting the hang of it, fast.

“Right.  So you didn’t do the tradition thing the moment you could.”  Teddy saw Maya shaking her head and squeeze her eyes shut, but she was grinning as she did, which was the important bit as far as Teddy was concerned,  “But you did it eventually?  Without being worried about the bad luck?”

“Yeah.”  Maya couldn’t help the grin that lit up her whole face as she remembered the kiss.

“How many turns did you do?” asked Teddy, making a mental note to get Carina to tell this story at some point too, suspecting their two storytelling styles were very, very different.  “And why do I think there wasn’t a dance shuffle happening?”

“Umm, so the guys made Carina sit down, since she’s tall and was wearing her heels...”  Maya was certain her cheeks were as red as the engine, but carried on anyway, finding it was actually nice to tell someone about it, realising she was finally perhaps getting what she’d failed to understand in her ‘monogamy is for the weak’ broken past.  “...and you’re supposed to put it on nicely….anyway, I kinda kissed her before I’d explained anything and she was still sitting down…but she needed to be not sitting down so I picked her up...hey!”  Maya batted away Teddy’’s hands, which were suddenly squeezing her biceps.

“I knew you guys were strong, but seriously, how strong are you?”

“Umm…”  Maya shrugged - she knew how strong she was in the context of the department fitness tests and the Station leaderboards for the various drills and fitness challenges they did, and obviously knew she was at the extremely fit end of the human race given her Olympic career and not having a sedentary desk job, but none of that really helped her answer Teddy’s question.  “...some of our equipment, like hose reels and ladders, weigh 70-100lbs.  And all the kit we wear, including the oxygen, weighs about 60lbs when it’s dry.  Everything gets heavier when it’s wet though.”

“Translation: you could pick me up and carry me to Grey-Sloan right now without any problem?”

“I’d like to think someone might wonder why I was doing it, but yeah…you’d probably not be very comfortable though.”

“Huh.”  Teddy made a mental note to prime Amelia to find out if Carina really understood how strong her girlfriend was, and what creative ways she’d found to explore it.  “So, how many turns did you do?”

“The alarm went before we could start turn six apparently.  It was the call I was on when you saw the puppies…”

“You gave Carina that cap today?”

Maya nodded, feeling awkward being the focus of attention on something like this, but knowing that if she had to talk about it with any of Carina’s friends, Teddy would have probably been her pick, finding the Shepherd-Grey sisters a bit...much at times, especially when she met them all together and they decided it was suddenly ‘get to know Maya’ time, usually ten seconds after Carina stepped away for a phone call or to go to the bathroom.

“That explains it,” sighed Teddy happily, nudging Maya with her shoulder in a ‘well done you’ type way.

“Explains what?”

“Explains the floating.”  She saw Maya’s scepticism, and decided to spell it out.  “For someone who gives so much love to her family during the shitty times as well as the good, Carina, from what I’ve seen, she doesn’t get much opportunity to feel the love from a family.  Andrew loves her, but...” She frowned, feeling she'd not quite made her point the way she meant to. 

"It’s hard to love someone who doesn’t know what to do with that love, and it’s almost impossible when the only thing they do know is how to that love to hurt you.  At least, that’s what I’ve learned.”  Maya looked up and saw Teddy was looking like she was about to apologise for something.  “That’s what my Dad was like...what I nearly...I never said thank you, for that day.”

“I didn’t do anything Maya.”

“Yes you did.”  It was Maya’s turn to laugh at Teddy’s reaction, but there was a hollowness to it.  “If you hadn’t been there...there were things I needed to say, that she needed to hear me say, but I wouldn’t, couldn’t have just said them..it wasn’t like I had a script I’d learned or anything.  I needed…”  Maya balled her hand into a fist and pushed it into her thigh, frustrated that she couldn’t find the words she wanted to explain herself.

“You needed to hear her say it because that was what made it real...made you live through every last horrible, painful second of it right then, even though you knew it already, because it’s only when it’s that real and hurts that much that we are able to be honest with ourselves and the truth, when the true truth is unavoidable.”  Teddy reached out and gripped Maya’s hand tightly, squeezing it hard to make sure she really felt it, felt how deeply Teddy understood.

“Yeah...seeing her as she told you why she couldn’t...what I’d done...it…”  Maya swallowed, feeling the pain she’d felt when she really saw how her actions had affected Carina all over again.  “How did you know?”

“I was the same when my husband died.”  Teddy patted Maya’s hand distractedly.  “Which is another long story needing alcohol and isn’t at all Christmassy.”  She laughed again, as surprised as Maya was that she was sharing as much as she was, but then again...maybe it shouldn’t be so surprising.  “So...tell me...Tell me about the puppies, I like puppies.  Lots.  And those two are ridiculously cute.”

“Did you know Carina thought about getting a dog when she first moved here?”

“Really?

“Yeah.  A homeless guy brought the puppies to us when we were putting out a fire in a dumpster, he’d found them abandoned.”  Maya looked at the Station, chewing on her lip as she thought about everything that had happened so far this shift, watching as one of the NICU nurses wheeled the portable NICU unit up to the back of PRT, suggesting that they were clearly expecting the arrival of baby number two.

“Looks like it could be nearly time…”  Maya instinctively picked up her helmet and put it on her head as the easiest way to carry it down.  “...you alright following me down?”

“Lead on...it’s not that different to some of the Army vehicles.”  Teddy watched where Maya put her feet and hands, then turned around and copied her with the sure footedness of someone who had clambered up and down a fair number of heavy duty vehicles with odd shaped sides in her time.  “Thank you.  For the cap…”  Teddy finally realised she’d have to surrender the jacket back to its rightful owner, so shrugged out of it as they walked back inside the Station.  “...and the coat.”

“No problem.”  Maya put her helmet and coat down just inside the shutters, fairly confident there probably wasn’t going to be time for her to put it in her office before the trucks all needed to start moving.  “Do you think the twins will be at Grey-Sloan for a bit?”

“Carina will have a better idea, but I think so…”  Teddy tried to remember what she’d heard the NICU nurse say when she’d looked in on the little boy right before his uncle then had his ‘moment’.  “...they’re about four weeks early, so a couple of days probably, unless the second one needs a bit more help I think.”  The second one was hopefully going to appear from the PRT after being successfully being brought into the world by Carina doing an emergency C-section, assisted by Bailey and Warren.  Teddy didn’t really know anything about obstetrics and newborns, it hadn’t really captured her attention during medical school and when it was her turn to be the patient, a little knowledge proved to be a rather stressful burden.  But what she did know about baby number two was that, although her heartbeat had been strong throughout the delivery of her brother, she had been lying in every possible wrong way, meaning Carina had had to declare it would be impossible for her to follow the route her brother took into the world.  “Why?”

“They’ve been born at 19, so they get caps, but since they don’t come in kids sizes, the tradition is they get a firefighter bear that’s bigger than the baby to wear the cap until they’re big enough.  And now I’m rambling about bears and babies…”

“I’m pretty certain they’ll be at Grey-Sloan for a bit. Bailey and Carina will want Naomi to stay for a few days after the section, and I’ll be admitting Sam for 48 hours observation.  And I’ll text Carina where you can buy bears that are bigger than babies.  Just remember to get three.”

“Three?  But it’s only twins…”

“Trust me, she’s going to want one for her cap too…”  Teddy saw Maya start to protest, so cut her off, grinning.  “...actually, get four and I’ll pay you back.”  She took the cap Maya had given her off her head and looked at it before carefully folding it and putting it in the pocket of her white doctor’s coat.  “I want one for mine too.”

Chapter Text

“Hey…”  Maya hung back as the NICU nurse came down the steps out of the back of the PRT and put the tiny newborn baby girl into the NICU portable unit, then wheeled it over to the Station 19 Aid Car, where Miller and Hughes were waiting to lift it into the Aid Car so brother and sister were reunited.  “...you in or out Herrera?”

“Out.  You too DeLuca,” said Bailey quickly, shooting a sharp look at Maya that clearly communicated how concerned the protective Chief of Surgery was about Carina.  As was Maya the moment she realised that her girlfriend wasn’t even trying to argue with Bailey.  “I’m keeping Ben and Emmett Bishop.”

“No problem, hitch a ride in the Aid Car when you’re done guys, Hughes too, they’ll wait for all of you.”  Vic was in the driver’s seat for the PRT now they couldn’t borrow Chief Sato, while Miller and Montgomery were running to the cabs of the Ladder and Engine.  Which just left Sullivan to drive the Aid Car and Gibson to ride in it assisting the two NICU nurses with whatever they needed from the Car’s kit for the short journey to Grey-Sloan.

“You got it…”  Ben’s attention was split between his patient, his Captain and Carina, who was clearly at the point of exhaustion when she was very nearly asleep on her feet.  “...Cap?”

“We’re good Ben,” assured Maya quickly.  Stepping up to meet Carina at the top of the steps down from the PRT, she scooped Carina up in her arms and carried her down the steps, deciding she’d rather risk the torrent of grumpy Italian that an awake Carina would launch at her than a stumble or trip.

“Ma-ya…” mumbled Carina, lightly shoving at her girlfriend’s shoulder when she felt herself being scooped up, pride making her protest, but it was token at best as she was utterly exhausted, having completed the emergency C-section through a mixture of determination, adrenaline and the knowledge that both mama and bambina were fighters.  But now that Naomi’s incision was closed and her daughter was in the care of the NICU, Carina was done.

“I know…” agreed Maya, moving far enough away from the back of the PRT that Andy had room to pull the doors closed, then putting Carina’s feet down so she was standing up again, although Maya didn’t let go with the arm that was around her girlfriend’s ribs.  With her right arm free, she could reach for the radio she had clipped to her belt, planning to start to coordinate the departure of their patients, but she changed her mind.  “...ANDY!” and tossed it towards her best friend, who fortunately caught it despite the split second’s notice.

“What…”  Andy was about to ask Maya what she was giving her the radio for, but then she saw what Maya had felt.

Carina had fainted and was a deadweight against her girlfriend.

“SHEPHERD!”  Maya picked up Carina again and set off towards her office.

“SHEPHERD!” 

She knew that Amelia was still somewhere in the Station and that was now her focus, trusting Andy would make sure the convoy of two Aid Cars and PRT, escorted by Engine and Ladder, left the Station in something like the right order for arriving at Grey Sloan and without hitting each other.

“SHEPHERD!  GET DOWN HERE!”

“No need to shout, where’s the fi…”  Amelia appeared at the top of the stairs from the Beanery, where she’d been taking a turn feeding the puppies and, until he was needed to drive the Station 19 Aid Car, talking to Robert Sullivan.  “...Carina!”  Seeing her friend being carried into the Captain’s office by Maya, Amelia rushed down the stairs, all jokes about where the fire was forgotten.

“What happened?” she asked, looking round Maya’s office and seeing no one.  “Where’d you go?”

“In here…” Maya had gone straight through her office to her bunk, knowing that not only would Carina be comfortable and have privacy, but Maya’s now rarely used paramedic kit was there, which was the fastest way to get Amelia a stethoscope, light and other basic tools of her trade.

“What happened?”  Amelia pushed Maya out of the way and started to gather her own observations, snatching the stethoscope from Maya’s hand the moment she’d got it out of her desk.

“She finished the C-section, Bailey kicked her out of the PRT because she’s exhausted.”

“Did she fall as she got out of the PRT?”

“No.  I picked her up when I saw her swaying at the top.  Put her feet down when we were at the bottom and reached for my radio and I felt her going...”  She managed to find her pen light and passed that to Amelia too, automatically noticing her hands were shaking, so she put them in her pockets.  “So I threw the radio at Andy, picked her up again and started...”

“...essere trop’ rumor’so...è ora didorm.., non ess’ resveglio comeun stupido...”

Amelia looked at Maya for any clue as to how she should react to the rather slurred Italian that Carina had just mumbled.

“Umm, that’s basically really sleepy Italian for stop being noisy and come back to bed,” admitted Maya, blushing bright red but not giving a damn, just relieved that Carina was being, well, Carina.  “She tells me that most mornings.”

“Si…”  Carina blinked groggily, opening her eyes finally and looking around in confusion.  “Maya?”

“Hey…”  Maya went to kick her boots off, realising that she was still in her turnouts, so shrugged out of them, leaving a heap of kit on the floor and carefully climbed onto her bunk, taking care to end up in the space between her girlfriend and the wall.  Propping herself up on her elbow, she reached down and brushed some stray hair out of Carina’s face.  “...Amelia’s going to ask you stuff.”

“I am?”  Amelia was a bit slow on the uptake, not expecting the softness that was suddenly radiating from the fire captain, but quickly cottoned on when Maya shot her a rather pointed glare.  “I am.  What do you remember?”

“Maya picking me up.”

“Where?”

“Behind me here,” Carina gestured to her ribs, “and my knees.”

“Bridal style, cheesy but effective Bishop,” teased Amelia, starting to be fairly certain her friend was just completely and utterly exhausted after a marathon shift and then some.  “But I meant where were you when she picked you up.”

“Scusa...the PRT.”

“Alright, follow my finger…”

“Amelia…”

“Shut up and follow my finger DeLuca.”  Amelia completed some basic checks with an endearingly grumpy Carina, though she decided it was best to neither tease her friend or Maya.  “Did you get any sleep since your shift finished?”

“Si, a few minutes, after I had a shower when Maya was at her call.”  Carina frowned, trying to remember how long it would have been before realising she had no idea what time it was currently.  “But it cannot have been too long because Probie had not started the washing up.”

“Is that code?”

“Ah, it means…”  It took Maya a moment to unravel exactly what her girlfriend meant and translate it into an amount of sleep.  “It means she probably didn’t get more than half an hour’s sleep.” Amelia was another person with a very ‘loud’ raised eyebrow, demanding Maya expand with some explanation.  “When we went out on our last call, Emmett would have gone and done all the checks on the oxygen tanks we brought in from the rigs after the previous call.  That’s the priority, and probably takes him about an hour.  After that, he’d probably told Carina he would do the washing up to make sure she didn’t.”

“Si.  You are a scary Captain to Probie…”  mumbled Carina, deciding that now she was lying down and had Maya next to her, she’d quite like to go back to sleep and see if that helped her headache.

“Your Captain’s a big softie…” corrected Amelia kindly, deciding that her friend was fundamentally alright if you ignored the working herself to exhaustion point both at the hospital and in the last couple of hours at the Station.  “Did she get something to eat when she came here?”

“Hmm?”  The ‘big softie’ of a Captain hadn’t been paying Amelia all that much attention as Carina, mumbling to herself in Italian, had been trying to move so she was comfortably snuggled up against Maya but was now resorting to trying to tug Maya into a better position.  “Shh…”  She caught hold of Carina’s hand before it could get a firm grasp on her belt.  “Sorry Amelia, umm, no?”  Maya looked up at the Doctor with a worried frown.  “Unless she ate something with Andy, while I was on a call, but I think she just taught Probie how to make really good soup.”

“Si, minestrone...the vegetables were sad.”  Carina forgot about her attempt to get Maya to move, and was starting to fall asleep, holding her girlfriend’s hand.

“Damn it Carina!”

“Cosa?”  Amelia’s reaction jolted Carina back to a slightly more awake, and grumpy state.  “No terzetto...get out of my bed…”

“Amelia?”  Maya would usually take a moment to enjoy Carina’s grumpy refusal to accept Amelia’s threesome invitation, now she understood the original context of what had become something of an ‘in joke’ for her girlfriend and her best friend, but this wasn’t the time.  “What’s going on?”

“I don’t think she’s had anything to eat properly since your date.”

“But that…”  Maya tried to picture the calendar, hating how working their crazy shifts made it too easy to lose total track of time.  “...ok, so we had lunch on...was it Wednesday?”  It was too difficult to think in days, so she reverted to just the dates.  “The 23rd…I started at 6pm that day, she was doing your weird split shift thing, then I was going to meet her for breakfast before her shift started at 12 on Christmas Eve since we hadn't had a call, but she was called...”

“I met her in the Pit just after 10, she was still wearing her coat.  We went into theatre together, I fixed the head and she delivered a…”

“Boy called Hozomeen.”

“How does she…?”  Amelia whispered, pointing to Carina as she looked at Maya, amazed the Carina was able to remember the names of the babies she delivered even when she was effectively fast asleep.  “And who names their kid, what was it?

“Hozomeen.”  Carina opened her eyes and glared at Amelia, grumpy with her friend for interrupting her attempt at sleeping.  “It is a mountain, means sharp like a knife.  According to the Papa the little one’s elbows and feet were very sharp and Mama was not impressed.”  She turned her head and looked at Maya.  “I am sorry about breakfast.”  

“That’s alright.  Did you get any breakfast at the hospital after that delivery?”  Maya was beginning to get the picture as to how her girlfriend’s shift had gone, and, while she was still somewhat shaky from having her faint on her, she was starting to calm down enough that she was no longer worried about having an anxiety attack.  One of the reasons Maya had been planning to meet Carina for breakfast on Christmas Eve was she knew from texts that the shift she'd done after their lunch on December 23rd had been extremely busy and hadn't ever given Carina a chance to take a proper moment to herself.

“No.  I had a shower and someone took my clothes to the dry cleaners because I had no time to change before I was...in the ‘goo’ until you moved us to theatre.”  Carina, like most doctors who worked Emergency Room shifts frequently, had long ago resigned herself to being unlucky with clothes sometimes.  Fortunately, most hospitals also knew where the really good, really fast dry cleaners were and she’d not yet failed to get her clothes back, stain free, by the end of her shift.  “Then it was the triplets in the Aid Car, then it was too late for breakfast.”  Carina was now awake enough again to work out what they were actually talking about, and set about the task of trying to remember when she had last eaten something.  “Mamma mia, sono stupido, ho dimenticato di mangiare…”  Carina started to try and push herself up into a sitting position, clearly of an opinion she needed to go and make herself something to eat, only for the sudden movement to make her headache assert itself loudly, and she dropped back onto the bed with a groan.

“This is more than eat a sandwich with a glass of water isn’t it?” asked Maya quietly, shifting so she could stroke Carina’s hair, hoping that would help with the headache or at least distract her from the conversation Maya was now having with Amelia.

“Yeah…”  Amelia did a quick countback from where they were now, just about 8am she guessed, on Christmas Day morning.  “What do you know she’s had to eat and drink since she was here?”

“Umm, a couple of mouthfuls of bad coffee...maybe a glass of juice?”

“Add a couple of mouthfuls of good coffee from me, and I think I saw her in line for a coffee..wait, no, Bailey grabbed her for another delivery…”

“Andy might know…”  Maya gently disentangled herself from a very drowsy Carina and stood up.  “...stay with her please?”

“Sure.  But you know...”

“...that she needs IV fluids? Yeah.”

Not bothering to pick up her turnouts, and not sure where her boots might have ended up after everything that had happened in the barn, Maya went into her office wearing just her socks, hoping Andy had finished getting everyone away to Grey-Sloan.

“How is she?”  Sure enough, Maya only had to appear in the doorway through to the Garage and Andy was jogging over to her, concern for Carina in her voice.

“Exhausted, and unless she managed to eat a plate of something with you earlier, not really had anything substantial to eat or drink since our date…”  Maya knew Carina had eaten a bowl of cereal when she'd finally got in after her shift on the 23rd, because Maya had been talking to her on the phone to keep her awake while she ate it, but that was not really a proper meal.

Andy shook her head while doing the maths, same as Maya and Amelia had done.  “...but that’s what, 36, 40 hours?”  Andy realised she'd got her maths a bit wrong, but looking at Maya she could tell correcting herself wouldn't do anything to help the situation.

“Yeah.”  Maya wrapped her arms around herself, trying not to let the panic rise in her but finding it harder now she didn’t have Carina to focus on.  “I think Amelia wants to admit her.”

“Is there anything else?”  Andy didn’t need to be Maya’s best friend to know how badly Maya would be beating herself up about how, in her mind at least, she’d contributed to Carina’s current situation, nevermind the grimness of being admitted to hospital on Christmas Day.  “She didn’t fall or hit her head?”

“No.”  Maya tentatively rotated her left shoulder, feeling a bit of tenderness from when she’d not adjusted fast enough to the sudden deadweight of Carina on her arm, but that was a tiny price to pay for ensuring that her girlfriend hadn’t fallen or hit her head.  “She’d feel better for a shower, her legs have…dried goo on them.”

“Yeah, I bet.  Your jacket was worse than Jack’s chilli...”  Andy saw her small attempt at humour didn’t generate any reaction in her friend, setting off another set of alarm bells.  

“How about…”  She set off back towards Maya’s office, steering her friend along with her.  “...we get Carina through a shower here and into your bunk with IV fluids?  We’ve got some bags here, and Dr Shepherd can do the line, or Warren...”  Andy kept walking, pulling Maya along with her, liking her plan more and more, and also fairly certain Amelia would agree to it.  “When we go back on standby, you stay.  Between Gibson and me we’ll be alright.”  Also, it wasn’t like Robert was a Probie, he’d not lost any of his experience or knowledge, just his rank and position - but when it came down to it at scenes, he was far from a Probie.  “If it doesn’t work, we’ve got Warren and the Aid Car and we take her in ourselves.”  She looked at her watch as she steered Maya into her office, thinking she probably needed to get a plate of food into her as well, hoping the sprint from their last call back to the Station had satisfied Maya’s inherent need to run and be active for a few hours at least.  “You want me to talk to Amelia about it?”

“Yeah…”

“Talk to me about what?”  Amelia, hearing her name, stuck her head out of the bunk.  “Come on Captain Softie, your girlfriend doesn’t like my bedtime stories.”

“Hey beautiful…”

“Bella…”  Carina forced her eyes open at the sound of Maya’s voice, frowning when she reached out for where she remembered last feeling her girlfriend and finding the bed empty.

“Hey…”  Maya sat down on the edge of the bed and caught hold of Carina’s searching hands before they became frantic.  “...I’m here…”  Confused as to why her girlfriend seemed to be so anxious, still shaken from feeling Carina faint on her, Maya stood up again and scooped Carina into her arms.

“Maya…”  Pride and principle made Carina try to protest at being picked up, but it wasn’t even token now, with her exhausted body defeating her brain’s arguments as soon as she felt herself being cradled against her girlfriend’s chest.

“Shh…”  Holding Carina tightly against her body so she didn’t shake or jostle her, Maya turned and sat down on the bed again, only this time she managed to be almost close enough to the top of the bed that she could use the wall as a back rest.  With a final firm push with her legs, one arm wrapped tightly around Carina’s shoulders to keep her steady, Maya somehow managed use her other hand to pull her pillow out from under her butt and shove it between her shoulder and the wall.  It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but she was at least stable and no longer worrying about falling backwards.  “...I’m here…”  

She had no idea how Carina managed it, but despite the Italian having longer legs and a longer back than Maya, she had this way of curling up that meant she could tuck herself completely against Maya’s chest when they sat like this.  It was one of Carina’s favourite afternoon nap positions, sat in her girlfriend’s lap, her head resting against Maya’s shoulder, legs almost tucked up under her chin, feeling her girlfriend’s arms wrapped around her, but not one she managed to engineer very often.  Maya, for her part, had given up trying to work out how her girlfriend managed to roll herself up into what seemed like an impossibly small ball that surely had to be cramp-inducing, and worked instead on making sure she kept her traps nice and loose so she could wrap her arms around Carina without getting her own spasms.  

Not that they sat like this all that often, since it usually required Maya to be sitting still on their couch for long enough for Carina to sit in her lap without being distracted by kisses.  Maya had many, many strengths, but sitting on the couch was not one of them, hence the kisses, that was definitely one of her strengths in Carina’s very biased and happy view.  Maya sitting still on the couch without kissing Carina for long enough for Carina to get comfortable and start her nap?  That was a rare treat...and if Carina had not been so close to absolute exhaustion, she’d have had several alarm bells ringing going off at the realisation that Maya was positively encouraging her to get comfortable in her favourite nap spot.

“Tell me…” mumbled Carina, Maya barely able to hear her as she felt Carina relaxing into her body, making her glad she’d managed to get her shoulders braced against the wall even a little bit.

“Tell you about what?” 

Chapter Text

“Sorry, didn’t mean to keep everyone waiting.”

“S’ok Probie, no driver.”  Jack jumped down from the back of the Aid Car, which he’d just finished rearranging back to how it was supposed to be now it no longer had the two NICU portable units in it.

“Where’s Sullivan?”  

“Coffee cart.”  Jack shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, not having noticed quite how cold it had become in the last couple of hours what with finishing up the fire scene for Bishop, then going and finding the car crash scene and making sure that was safe.  “You did good Probie.”

“It was Dr DeLuca, I was just…”  Emmett shrugged, not really sure what he’d done.  “...the guy Naomi could scream and swear at.”

“Sometimes that’s what we need to be.”  Jack leaned against the back of the Aid Car and blew out three small puffs of air, watching as they formed little clouds that quickly floated up and disappeared.  “How’s your hand?”

“It’ll be fine.”  Emmett took his hand out of his pocket, surprised Jack had even noticed that he’d been wincing a bit when he tried to make a fist.  “I went to the NICU…”  He pulled out the piece of paper from his pocket, which he’d been putting away when he’d felt his hand protesting.  “...they gave me the babies’ names.”

“Yeah?”  Jack entertained himself with another three little clouds of air floating away.  “I forgot to ask.”

“The girl only got her name just now, the brother knew it.”  Naomi had been given some heavier pain relief by Warren as soon as she’d had her first moment with her daughter so she was more comfortable for the trip to Grey-Sloan.

“Cool.”  Jack saw Emmett frowning at the paper, like he was struggling to read the handwriting.  “Put it away, we’ll read it at the Station.”  He saw Warren coming, carrying something.  “We good?”

“Yeah.”  Warren went to put what he was carrying in the back of the Aid Car, only to be stopped by Jack.

“IV fluid?”

“Leave it Jack.”

“But…”

“Fine.”  Warren left the bag of IV bags where he’d put it, and took a firm hold of Jack’s elbow, pushing him to his feet and starting to walk him away from the entrance to Grey-Sloan.  “Wait.”  

He shot Jack a firm look that reminded the Lieutenant of Dr Bailey’s no nonsense glare and kept walking until they were both around the far side of the Aid Car, exposed to the blowing snow and crucially, as far as Ben was concerned, well out of earshot of the hospital staff that were continually flowing in and out of the hospital doors past the back of the Aid Car.

“Amelia Shepherd rang Bailey.  Carina collapsed as we set off.”

“Is she ok?  I mean, is she…”

“Really sick?  Amelia doesn’t think so.  But no, she’s not ok either.  Bishop caught her as she fell.  You know the baby girl was her thirteenth delivery since her shift started yesterday?”

“Yesterday?  But I’d…”

“Assumed she was on a double like us?  No, she was 12 to 12.  Oh, and she’d been slammed all shift here and her Resident fed the overlap shift spiked mince pies, so rather than be done she was told she was on call because everyone else was high.”

Jack’s eyebrows nearly left his forehead, making Warren chuckle.

“You do not want to hear my wife on the subject.”

“Oh I think I do,” disagreed Jack, crossing his arms over his chest to try and keep a little warmth in his hands.  “But from a distance with snacks and a beer.”  He chewed his lip for a moment, the levity of picturing Dr Bailey tearing strips of people only a brief distraction.  “But that didn’t need the shoving…”

“So you know Dispatch really screwed her over...”

“I know Bishop said it took 45 an hour to get there, and Bishop only found out because Andy saw the call in for 45.”  That was a huge error on the part of Dispatch, that had shaken every firefighter to the core when they’d heard it, and meant Jack wouldn’t be the only one cutting Probie a bit of slack for the rest of shift, just in case he knew he shouldn’t have had to be the only one with there for that long, that despite how brilliantly perfect Dr DeLuca was for the situation, as far as the firefighters were concerned, in that situation, she didn’t count.  “...rough on Probie, if he knew.”

“Carina knew Jack.  Carina knew to tell Emmett to call the Still Alarm.  But Jack, she also knew that Still Alarm in the Station is a Captain’s highest priority call after a four-alarm.”

“And when Dispatch didn’t tell Bishop…”  Jack paled, realising what that meant.  “So as well as…’everything’ she had going on with only a Probie to help her, she spent over an hour thinking Maya was in a four-alarm?”

“Yeah.”  Warren sighed and ran his hand over his face.  “Apparently she wouldn’t let him chase dispatch for the aid car, thinking there was a four-alarm or worse that needed all of us more urgently.  Said we did the fires she did the babies, and he was on her team now.”  

“Smart words, but shit..she shouldn’t have had to deal with that.”  Though with a mindset like that, Carina was a damn finer Captain than many he knew of in the Department.

Now Jack understood why Warren had shoved him around to the front of the Aid Car, away from Emmett and the passing doctors.  “Bloody Bishop…”  He kicked the wheel of the Aid Car in frustration - how could his friend be such a fire nerd to have explained call priorities to her girlfriend but not given her the cap until today?  “...how is she?”

“Bishop? Apparently Amelia is calling her Captain Softie.”

“And she’s alive?”  

“According to Miranda, yeah.”

That told Jack more about how worried they needed to be about Maya than anything else Warren could have said - like Andy, he knew Maya had a soft side, actually thought Amelia’s nickname was rather good, but there was just one problem.  The Amelia Shepherds of the world shouldn’t have been able to see Maya’s soft side, certainly shouldn’t have survived teasing her about it.  Maya Bishop’s default state was prickly and punchy, even when she liked you.  He’d only seen her fail to land even feeble punches a handful of times in all the years he’d known her...and aside from Captain Herrera’s death, they’d all involved Carina.  ‘Captain Softie’ didn’t mean Maya was worried about Carina…it meant she was terrified, which was reason enough for him to decide they were done here.

“Gibson to Sullivan and Hughes.”  He didn’t wait for their acknowledgment on the radio, but kept going.  “You’ve got two minutes to get to the Aid Car or you’re walking and doing probie chores til Easter.”

“What the hell Jack?” Vic’s response was immediate, and not entirely unreasonable given what she’d just heard over the radio, especially from Gibson.

“One minute,” growled Jack, not prepared to explain himself over the radio.  Although he and Maya had a complicated history in general, and an especially complicated history regarding his role in how her relationship with Carina fell apart but also then started to rebuild, she was still one of his closest friends, a friendship they were finally mostly back to without constantly tripping themselves up on the emotional baggage and chaos of their pasts.  

But right now, it wouldn’t have mattered if they were unable to stand the sight of each other, because she was his Captain and they were a family...they were Carina’s family too.

“We good?” asked Ben nervously, suddenly realising quite how physical he’d been with his Lieutenant.

“Yeah.  Thanks.”  Jack clapped him on the back as they headed back around to where Emmett was standing, stamping his feet to stop them from going numb.  “Probie’s got the baby names.  But you probably already know them?”

“I don’t actually.”  Warren understood Jack’s look as they rounded the end of the Aid Car to mean ‘keep it light’ until they could get away from the hospital.  “But ten buck says they named one of them after Probie.”

“What?  No way, surely it’s going to be DeLuca?”

“There’s two of them Jack…”  Warren turned to Emmett.  “You know the names yet?”

“No, can’t read the handwriting.  I think I know half of one, it’s…”

“Ah ha.”  Ben held up his hand.  “Don’t ruin my chance at taking Gibson’s money.”

“You’re betting on the names?”

“Sure...he’s got ten bucks one of them’s named after you.  But I’m thinking DeLuca’s got the pair.”  Jack picked up the bag Warren had put in the back of the Aid Car and gave it back to him.  “You go up front with Sullivan and you run when we get there.”

“What’s the hell Jack?” shouted Vic, appearing from the side of the hospital, having had to jog around its perimeter with Sullivan in order to get back within Jack’s time limit, the threat of Probie chores until Easter enough to get them to comply with the order despite the weirdness.  “We were next in line!”

“19. Use everything we got Sullivan.”

Despite the frustration at not managing to get any coffee, Sullivan headed for the driver’s seat without questioning why he was using ‘everything’ - even if he’d still been Battalion Chief he wouldn’t have questioned Jack’s order in that moment, reading enough contained fury in the man to know something was very wrong at the Station...which was where his wife was.

“We got a call?”  shouted Vic as she braced herself against the side of the Aid Car as they set off, Jack next to her having shoved Emmett into the tip seat up the far end as he slammed the doors behind him, Sullivan taking Jack at his word and using ‘everything’.  “How’s that going to work?” With the three of them in the back of the Aid Car, there wasn’t exactly a lot of space for a patient, not to mention they had very random kit with them given what they’d had to leave behind at the Station, including the gurney which, right now, would have been quite handy to sit on.

“Back to 19.”  Jack paused as they all concentrated on not falling over as Sullivan took the turn out onto the main road, glad that was the last turn they’d need to make until they arrived at the Station.  “Meds for DeLuca from Bailey.”

“Meds?  What happened?”

“Shift from hell and then Dispatch screwed up with the walk-in.”  He realised Vic didn’t know about the delay in getting word to Bishop as she’d been making sure their fire was out before then staying with him on the engine and going to find the car accident scene.  “They didn’t tell Bishop.  Andy did.  Maya RAN there, but it was still like...”

“93 minutes.”

“But…”  Vic’s insides dropped when she realised what Jack was telling her, what Emmett had just said, and she turned around to look at him her face full of questions.

“93 minutes without the Captain.”

“How…”

“Santo Padre, tienila al sicuro per me.”  He leaned forwards, not surprised by their blank looks. “She kept repeating that to herself when she wasn’t needing to talk to any of the rest of us.”

“What’s it mean?” asked Vic gently, realising how tough it had been for him, how unimaginably tough it must have been for Carina.

“Holy Father, keep her safe for me.” 

“Tell you about what?”

Maya went to rest her cheek on Carina’s hair, only to see at the last minute that the ‘goo’ had managed to get there as well.  But it was dried by now, and it wasn’t like Maya hadn’t sought out the doctor’s arms for a hug at the end of a tough shift with smoke and mud covering her, so she carried on and laid her head down, feeling Carina’s body vibrate as she hummed in what Maya had come to understand was contentment.  What for Maya would feel stifling, like she was trapped in a corner with no space to move in, was, for her girlfriend, a reassuring, secure feeling that helped her to shut out the noise and the chaos of the terrible world she was at times scared to bring babies into, and find something good to use to refocus on.  

Once she’d understood this, Maya became accustomed to sometimes waking up with her girlfriend burrowed up against her, head on her chest, one leg curled up so tightly Maya almost had her girlfriend’s knee in her boob.  Those were the days she didn’t get out of bed and leave Carina to have another hour or two’s sleep while she ran or cycled through the still sleeping city, she just wrapped herself as tightly around her sleeping girlfriend as she could and listened.  Sometimes all she heard was the slightly elevated pace of Carina’s breathing rattle through her chest, her anxieties playing out scenarios in her dreams that were enough to alarm her but not enough to wake her.  Other times, she heard the occasional mumbled word amidst slower breaths as Carina worked her way through whatever it was, negotiating her way back to a sense of calm and peace.  In both situations she just held her girlfriend, able somehow to manage to be still because it wasn’t a nothing sort of stillness, it was a sort of stillness she had forgotten could even exist, only ever having experienced it with Mason, before....before it all went wrong and she lost the ability to be still.

Being still, holding Carina, wasn’t time wasted because Maya was doing nothing.

Being still, holding Carina, wasn’t time to be counted, and it certainly wasn’t time when Maya was doing nothing because what she’d discovered was, that in those moments which could be a second or an hour, holding Carina tight and close, listening to her breaths and sighs and hums and mumbles, that was love.

That was why she’d only ever said ‘I love you’ to her brother, why it meant something when she then managed to say it to Carina.  Why she said it to her easily in every colour of her voice, any hour of the day, whether she was happy or confused, upset or excited.  Love was a constant, interwoven with everything else and there in its own right.  Love was being still and it not being time wasted doing nothing.

“Quattro campane…” Carina slipped arm out from where it had been trapped between their bodies and wrapped it around Maya’s ribs, returning the squeeze she was craving, the squeeze that told her lungs and limbs were fit and well, that squashed the worries and the fears she’d been trying to keep at bay while she focused on the twins and their mother and uncle, tried not to worry about who might be in greater need of her Fire Captain than her.  “Cinque campane, quattro campane, diciannove...tell me about the fire…”

Oh god…

Five bells, four bells, nineteen...

Maya had forgotten about that, forgotten about the conversation they’d had, on their vacation...she’d forgotten how, almost floating in the bath Carina had run for them after the text, and her panic….she’d forgotten how carefully Carina had been with her questions, wanting to understand the language of Maya’s world.

One alarm….like one bell ringing in one station, summoning everything to a scene that someone like Maya would, as Captain, oversee, perhaps asking for extra aid cars or another ladder, like Carina might need another nurse or X-ray specialist...so ordinary they didn’t really think about what it was called.

Two alarm...another bell to ring, in another station, summoning more of everything to a scene that possibly Maya might, as the original Captain still oversee, or might, if they were responding to the second call, take over a particular section of the scene...like Carina might shift her focus in a trauma patient to the wellbeing of the baby in the mother while Amelia or Teddy or Bailey focused on the mother, all with their specialist nurses and technicians...and again, so ordinary they didn’t really think about what it was called.

Three alarm...more bells ringing, probably in lots of stations, trying to round up enough engines and ladders to make sure they had enough resources at the scene to try and stay ahead of the situation....no longer something a Captain like Maya would be leading on, she might not even be outside the fire now, but inside, with her team, focused on a single aspect of a complex situation...which Carina had concluded was like when she’d start seeing any patient, triaging and treating where she could because, for all her specialisation, she was still a doctor, still a surgeon, still had the skills to save a life.

But when they got to four alarms, Carina’s ability to draw a parallel with medicine had faltered, unable to, pre pandemic at least, think of anything that would start to parallel the scale of incident that saw more and more resources pulled from further away to come and help.  

There were only so many doctors that could treat a single patient, but then Maya had explained that, while an Engine could only carry a certain number of firefighters to a scene, once there, it could represent double and triple that number of firefighters as the next shifts started early and the off shifts were called in.  

At four alarms, Carina learned, the race became less about saving the part that was already burning, or even the parts that might be next to burn.  At four alarms, it became a question of survival in its most basic, self-sacrificing state.  At four alarms the idea of saving firefighters for whatever fires might burn tomorrow became a secondary priority, because fires could only burn tomorrow if today’s fire left something unburned.  

Four alarms, explained Maya, meant as Captains, they were prepared to let their own station burn because they could always rebuild their own house, but they couldn’t rebuild a city block or school or hospital...but at anything less than four alarms, whatever a Captain was doing was dropped for an alarm at their own station.  

Carina had been on her own in the Station for over an hour without Maya knowing about the alarm.  Over an hour in a Station whose Captain, as far as Carina would have been able to tell, was prepared to let it burn...over an hour on her own, in the Station sacrificed by its Captain for a greater good, worrying about Maya... working on her patients…

Now she understood why Carina had looked at her so sharply when Maya had tried to agree that yes, there had been a ‘chicken thing’ by the department that was the reason it had taken so long for Maya to get there.  Why she’d even got ‘cock up’ wrong in the first place - it was an idiom she’d been confidently familiar with long before she’d met Maya.  Why she’d not seemed convinced by Maya’s dismissal of the fire she’d been at as ‘not a bad one’.  Why her brilliant, wonderful, amazing girlfriend literally crumbled in her arms when she no longer had a patient to focus on.

“I…”  

“There…”

“It…”

Every sentence Maya started stopped as soon as she began it, unable to find a way of explaining how ordinary the scene was, how stupid the mistake was that meant she’d not been told.

How did she tell Carina that Maya hadn’t been told because it was assumed she already knew?  

How did she tell Carina that it was Maya’s fault she’d felt so isolated and abandoned, that if she’d not asked her to stay, Carina wouldn’t have been there to treat the walk-ins, that Dispatch wouldn’t have assumed that Maya had to be there as well because only Captains could request Attendings to a scene?

How did she tell her girlfriend it was her fault she hurt so much?

Chapter Text

“Jack!”  Andy put her phone on speaker, surprised to see the call that was interrupting Amelia catching her up on the plan now the neurosurgeon had spoken to Bailey was from him.  “Have you…”

“Heard about Carina? Yeah, and we’ve got the fluids.  But listen Andy…ow…”

“Jack?  Why are the sirens…”

“Bishop, she’d told Carina about the Captain’s Duty.”

“Shit.”  Andy didn’t need to end the call, Jack already had - partly since he needed his hand free to brace himself against the ceiling of the Aid Car, Sullivan sticking to the instruction to use ‘everything’ to get to the Station, but mostly because there wasn’t anything else to say.

“What’s going on?”  Amelia had no idea what they were talking about, but understood enough body language to realise that Andy’s world had just had its bottom fall out of it.

“You’re Carina’s friend right?  I mean like really, really good friend?”

“Yes, why?  What’s happening?”

“It’s more than just not eating.”  Andy ran across the barn and hit the button for the shutters to open, knowing the Aid Car couldn’t be far away as she could hear the sirens.  The Engine and Ladder would be longer, as they’d been told to go get gas after escorting the Aid Cars to Grey Sloan.  “We need…”  What did they need to do, yes, goo, shower, that would work.  “...we need to get them both in the showers.”

“No.”

Andy stopped dead and looked at the doctor in amazement.

“What did you say?”

“I said no.  Not until you explain what the hell’s going on and why you think I missed something in my best friend.”

“Sorry…”  Andy took a deep breath, willing herself to calm down, trying to remind herself that not everyone instinctively ‘thought’ firefighter and, for the Doctor, her explanation was probably extra unhelpful.  “...really short version, all the time Carina was here on her own she also thought Maya was in a really bad fire, which was why she wasn’t here, because that was the only reason she wouldn’t be here.  But Maya didn’t know about the situation here, so she wasn’t here when she could have been.”

Amelia might have been about to make a joke about co-dependency and nauseatingly sweet couples who couldn’t stand to be apart, but she knew Andy from treating Robert, knew that despite everything that had been thrown at her during the worst parts of that time, she’d never been like this.  Firefighters ran into dangerous situations, they were trained not to be scared by things most people were practically hard-wired to be terrified by.  But this?  This was the first time Amelia had ever associated Andy Herrera with anything even vaguely recognisable as panic.  So she didn’t make a joke.  “That Captain’s Duty thing he mentioned?”

“Yeah.”

Amelia knew Carina struggled with trying not to worry about Maya when she was on shift, knew how she had taken to glancing at the rolling news screens in the hospital lobby space whenever they were passing through them, looking to check that a fire wasn’t the top story.  So if she’d spent who knew how long in the Station, on top of the fatigue and dehydration and ordinary ‘Grey-Sloan does a number on you with the shift from hell’ exhaustion they were all familiar with, having to ignore what was, to all intents and purposes, proof that Maya was in proper danger?  Amelia was sold - this was more than just not eating.

“So shower helps how?”  She wasn’t arguing anymore, but following Andy back towards the Captain’s Office, trying to remember if she’d seen the showers on the whistlestop tour she’d had from Sullivan.

“Carina knows Maya’s really bad at admitting to injuries so...”  Before Andy could finish though, the station was filled with the sounds of sirens as the Aid Car arrived.

“Amelia!”

“Ben!  Have you...”  Amelia stopped and turned back to head to her former colleague, her priority shifting once again - as much as she was Carina’s best friend, right now Carina had Maya, and Maya had her best friend, and what they both needed was for Dr Shepherd to get a handle on herself and be ready to be Carina’s doctor.

Leaving Amelia to talk to Warren, Andy picked up her pace and carried on to Maya’s bunk.

“Hey guys…”

“I…”  Maya looked up at her best friend, her cheeks wet with tears, still with her arms wrapped tightly around a very quiet and still Carina, not sure how to explain to her best friend what had happened, what she’d done wrong, how she’d broken things...again.

“I know.”  Andy carefully reached out and touched her best friend’s hand, taking care not to accidentally make any contact with Carina in case that startled her.  “Is she…” she whispered, not wanting to wake Carina if she was somehow asleep.

“...not really…”  Maya was whispering so quietly Andy was actually lip reading rather than hearing anything, but she knew from when she’d been living with them that when Carina was asleep she still managed to drift back into wakefulness when she heard Maya’s voice.  “Andy’s here…” said Maya softly, feeling her girlfriend’s head turn almost immediately, starting to become a slightly more alert sleepy zombie.

“We’ve got a plan…” began Andy, starting to tell both of them together, but expecting it to be mostly for Maya’s benefit given how Carina was.

“Eh?”

“Amelia, me…”  She saw Carina tense and Maya immediately try to soothe her, making Andy accelerate her explanation, fairly certain she’d heard a mumbled ‘hospital’ from the Italian - Carina was sweet and light and lovely and everything Maya always worried she wasn’t, but Andy also knew that the Doctor was, for all that loveliness, far from a push over and could out-stubborn Maya when she wanted to, which was not what Andy wanted to have to cope with now.  “...and it means you both stay here, with Bailey’s blessing.”

“Bailey?”  Carina’s head turned all the way around when she heard her boss’ name, looking at Andy with a mixture of exhaustion and confusion.

“You know you really need an IV right?”  

“Si...in ospedale ma…”  Carina had tensed when she thought about having to go into hospital, prompting Maya to resume her mumbled ‘ti amo bella’ and rub her girlfriend’s back, trying to convey that no matter what needed to happen, there was no amount of alarms that would take Maya away.

“No in ospedale Carina, ma qui in stazione.”

“Si?”  Carina let go of her legs and found one of Maya’s hands instead, her ability to ignore the Spanish lilt and emphasis in Andy’s Italian further proof that she wasn’t quite herself.

“Si…”  Andy’s Italian had run out, but she thought Carina was probably awake and alert enough again to manage in English for a bit, which would also help keep Maya in the conversation too, which Andy knew was just as important as getting Carina to agree.  “Bailey’s sent the IVs, and between Amelia and Ben you can have them in here.”  

Although the Aid Cars carried IV fluids, inserting lines wasn’t something the firefighters generally did - their basic EMT training didn’t cover it, and while some of them had done the extra qualifications (or were Warren) so they could do them, there was a big difference between giving someone fluids to buy them time as they worked out how to rescue them and treating Carina in the Station when by rights she should be at Grey-Sloan, even without factoring in that, as much as she was part of their family at Station 19, as far as Bailey was concerned, Carina was one of her family too.

“I can stay with you…” offered Maya quietly, her old worries and doubts making her unsure if she’d be welcomed after all the hurt she’d put Carina through, doubts that made Andy’s anger towards Maya’s father and all the damage he’d done to her friend flare again.  “...if you want me to?”

“Si bellissima...”  Carina uncoiled herself a little bit more, her need to see and touch Maya starting now to be greater than her need to be held.  “...but your shift…”

“She’s going to do the boring Captain’s paperwork and let me and Jack boss everyone about for the rest of shift…” teased Andy, deciding it was worth risking a bit of humour to see if there was enough energy left in the couple to get them to drag themselves upstairs to the showers, or whether she was going to need Robert’s help getting them up there.  “...best Christmas present ever!”

“For you maybe…” joked Maya, gratitude making her voice low and thick with emotion at her best friend somehow knowing how to help.

“Grazie.”  

Carina didn’t like the idea of having to have IV fluids, but her medical degrees were shouting at her in a voice that sounded irritatingly like a six-year-old Andrea that it was the smart option, and one she was only able to take because she was very, very lucky with her friends at the hospital...and her girlfriend’s friends here at the Station...Her eye caught the cap, hanging from the end of the bedhead where she’d put it for safety when she’d decided to try sleeping, reminding her of everything that had happened before the walk-in, before the agony…

Her girlfriend’s friends...were her girlfriend’s family, Maya’s Station family...Maya’s famiglia ‘stazione diciannove’...that had cheered and counted spins and made her part of their family too...la sua famiglia ‘stazione diciannove’...

She could have the fluids here.  In this bed.  With Maya.

Maya...who was safe and fine and hadn’t been in a big fire, but had been stood on a driveway making sure the only thing that was damaged by a small fire was a garage and a car.  

Maya... who was telling her she was fine but had a very different idea about when her body was ‘fine’ compared to Carina, and came home with bruises and burns that she didn’t seem to know she had, which Carina would insist was not what ‘fine’ meant.

Maya...hai un cattivo odore…and was now laughing.

“Cosa?”  Confused, Carina unfolded herself a bit more so she could look properly at Maya.

“I’m sorry, ti amo…”  Maya shifted into a slightly more comfortable position now she didn’t have all of Carina’s weight resting against her chest, recognising another of Carina’s frequent observations which this time, Maya guessed her girlfriend hadn’t actually realised she’d said out loud.  “...and I know it’s usually me smelling bad but this time it’s not me, it’s you.”

“No…”

“Si.”  Maya relaxed her arms when Carina started moving around in her lap, giving her the room to inspect herself and see that, despite the significant amount of ‘goo’ that Maya’s spare jacket had protected her from, it wasn’t perfect.

“Oh.”  Carina wrinkled her nose rather dramatically, not liking the amount of ‘goo’ that she had brought into the bunk with her.  The bringing into the world of new life was a beautiful thing, but it was also messy, especially if not in the ergonomically designed hospital environment.  “Doccia?”

“Yeah.”  Andy stood up from her crouch and stuck her head through the door, hearing quiet voices and looking to see who was in the office, relieved when she saw it was Vic and Amelia.  “Amelia?  Can you give Carina a hand getting to the showers, Vic’ll show you the way…”

“Andy, I…”

“Maya will be right behind you, I just need to get the keys and stuff from her so she can stay here the rest of shift,” said Andy quickly, knowing Maya would see through the lie immediately, but fairly certain neither of the two doctors or Vic would spot it.

“Si, grazie Amelia…”  Carina had, while Andy was putting the next part of the plan into play, managed to get to her feet, but the effort caused her to sway quite alarmingly until she was steadied by Maya’s hands on her hips.  “...e grazie bellissima.”  She carefully leaned down, trying to ignore how dizzy and lightheaded she felt, determined to kiss Maya, a mission made easier when her girlfriend met her halfway.  “I am sorry about your clothes.”

“It’s only uniform, I have plenty.”  Maya kissed Carina gently then helped her stand steady on her feet, glad when she saw her accept the support of Amelia’s arm around her waist.  “You like my shirts?”  She had no idea why her girlfriend was gravitating to her uniform shirts, but fortunately she’d started this shift with them all clean and at the Station - by Maya’s count there had to be at least another three still so if that was what Carina was most comfortable in, there were plenty for Carina to wear.

“Si…” Carina looked down at her legs, watching her toes as she wiggled them, frowning when she saw the further evidence of ‘goo’ but also some scratches to the nail varnish on her toes, reminding her that the barn floor had been rough and cold when her feet missed Maya’s jacket.  “...e calzini per favore.”

“Pizza?” muttered Amelia, helping her friend set off slowly towards the showers, Vic coming around Carina’s other side once they were through the doorway and in the Captain’s office.  “You’re thinking about pizza? Now?  Such an Italian…”

“No!  Non cal zone , cal zini …”  Carina’s English had selectively failed her, so she improvised by using the words she was more familiar with.  “...like gloves for feet?”

“Socks.”  Vic bit her lip, trying not to laugh, knowing she said way stupider things when she was beyond exhausted and that was without the excuse of having to do everything in a second language.  “Yeah, we’ll find you some good socks Carina….c’mon, elevator’s this way.”

“You don’t need any keys…”

“No, but you need a minute and it was the best I could come up with.”  Andy eyed her best friend critically.  “How you doing?  Aside from wanting to shout at Dispatch?”

“I…”  Maya shrugged, not sure what to say.  

“You need to go shower with her.”

“What? Andy!”

“Not like that…”  Andy grinned in spite of the seriousness of the situation.  “...what I mean is she knows you, knows you don’t always remember the bruises and the burns.”

“I haven’t…”

“And yes, I know you haven’t got any bruises or burns this time, because I know you didn’t go inside anywhere, but she doesn’t know that Maya…she just knows you’ve told her, but she knows you, I know you...and I know a little bit about how much she loves you...and a lot about how much you love her.”

“But…”

What was it that Travis called her?  Andy tried to remember, thinking it summed her friend up perfectly in a way that only Travis could manage to survive saying the first time…oh, right, sweet, broken Maya …who sometimes needed the obvious pointing out to her.

“The IV’s not what she needs Maya...” 

“But Bailey…”

“...I mean, sure, it will help her feel a lot better by the time we finish our shift and you can take her home and she’ll feel fine by tomorrow, but it’s the bonus.”  Maya’s frowny face would be amusingly cute if the circumstances weren’t so serious, so Andy continued, not giving her friend a chance to try and argue.   “What she really needs, what will help her actually rest for the next few hours, is really knowing and believing that it really was just a horrid, sick screw up by some little nobody that has no idea what they did wrong, that there really wasn’t anything except their mistake keeping you from being here.  And all I know is if it were Robert I’d been that worried about I’d want to see for myself, and he’s nothing like as bad at you at not noticing bruises.”

Maya blinked, trying to take in everything Andy was saying.

“If it had been me not Carina here, I’d not be believing you right now either, none of us would.”

“But…”  Maya’s brain was stalled, not really processing what Andy was telling her.

“They’re not just letters on your nametape Maya…” said Andy quietly, reaching out and tracing the ‘CAPT’ on her best friend’s shirt.  “And this…” she carefully unpinned the Captain’s badge from the shirt, knowing it would need to be pinned to the clean shirt Maya put on after her shower.  “...isn’t just another badge.”  She put the badge down on the bed and finally reached up and began to detach the rank insignia attached to each collar point, Maya still sufficiently bemused she just sat there.  “19 is our home, our house...and our house needs its Captain, we need our Captain.  We need you Captain.”  Andy put the collar rank insignia down on the bed, next to the Captain’s Badge.  “ Our Captain runs to the Station for us, Our Captain pisses off the Chief to protect us.  Our Captain has our backs and we have hers.  So when she’s not there, we worry, when she’s hurting we hurt.”  She took hold of Maya’s hands and gave them a tight squeeze, drawing her focus to something other than the whirling mess of thoughts Andy knew were clouding her friend’s mind.  “If you were here in that situation and my Dad was the Captain, what would you think?”

“Four alarms.”

“And how would you feel?”

“Worried for him, determined not to take resources away from the four alarm fire.”

“And when he turned up in a cruiser?  Because we all know my Dad couldn’t do that run...would you believe he was ‘fine’ just like that?”

“No, of course not.  But I’m not Captain Herrera Andy, I’m not your Dad…”

“No, I know, you’re not my Dad.”  She grinned, suddenly finding it funny trying to picture her Dad in some of the more ridiculous moments she and Maya had found themselves in during their friendship.  “He wouldn’t scream when he walked face first into a curtain of wet pasta.”

“It was dark, and she’d moved it to a new place,” protested Maya feebly, knowing Andy was right.  “And it wasn’t a scream…”

“No?”

“More of a yelp.”

“Right.”  Andy rolled her eyes at Maya’s snappy comeback, relieved to have pulled her out of her head.  “Go look after Carina?  It’s you she really needs, not the IV.”

“I…”  Maya stood up slowly, and, after a beat, pulled Andy into a tight hug, not really having the words to articulate her gratitude for her best friend, but also because she knew how difficult it was still for Andy to talk about her Dad.

“I know…”  Andy patted Maya’s back, then pulled back sharply.

“What?”

“Carina’s right, you really do smell…go shower with your super hot Italian girlfriend.” She’d been expecting some sort of reaction to that dig, but Maya’s frowny face was still in control.  “Come on, you’re supposed to make a bad joke about Robert and me now so I can then point out how your girlfriend is basically a supermodel…” Andy smiled when she saw her friend roll her eyes at her, confirming that despite all the serious ‘emotions’ talk Andy was subjecting her to, Maya was still, well, Maya.  “...or do I have to remind you Amelia’s got a crush the size the Space Needle on your girlfriend?  Vic too probably.  And if you don’t go shower with Carina one of them will...”  Andy’s suggestion was meant mostly in jest to try and jolt Maya back into gear did have a grain of truth to it - Carina really was going to need help in the shower, even if it was to make sure she didn’t fall asleep or worse, slip and injure herself.  And it worked.

“Thank you.”  Maya wrapped her best friend in a bone crushing hug, then unclipped the bunch of keys from her belt.  “Our secret? From Vic and Amelia?”

“Course.”  Andy took the keys and put them in her pocket, recognising Maya wanted to act out the half truth so they didn’t give themselves away.  Since it was the middle of the shift, Andy didn’t actually need any of the keys, and since Maya wasn’t actually leaving the shift, just staying at the Station, Andy wouldn’t be doing the handover to the next shift, so wouldn’t need the keys then either.  “Not Carina?”

“She probably already guessed, or would have done if she wasn’t so exhausted.  And I’ll tell her anyway.”

“Yeah?”  Andy’s smile grew, so proud of how far Maya had come since she’d started to come to terms with how fractured her past had made her, and how determined she was to put herself back together, a determination in no small part motivated by wanting to have Carina in her life.

“Yeah…”  Maya looked around her bunk, seeing her turnout pants and boots at the foot of the bunk and her paramedic kit scattered across the bed and desk.

“Go, I’ll square this for you.”  Andy looked at the bed and around the room, knowing how ‘mess’ could affect her best friend and not wanting to have ‘Captain Softie’ turn into ‘Captain Suckerpunches for Fun’.  “Are the sheets still in the drawers over there?”

“Yes.  But…”  Maya was about to say that she’d put clean sheets on last shift, only to see what Andy had seen - not all the ‘goo’ had stayed stuck to Carina.  “...thanks.”

“No problem. Go, I’ll bring your clothes up when I’m done.”  She looked at the neat pile of Carina’s clothes folded on the desk chair, a bra that definitely wasn’t Maya’s on the top.  “Full uniform for you, shirt and shorts again for Carina?”  She saw Maya’s nod, and remembered what they’d overheard as Carina went off with Vic and Amelia.  “...and socks, I’ll get her a pair of Robert’s.”

“I’ve got socks.”

“Yes.”  Andy looked pointedly at Maya’s feet.   “Weird ones for being energetic in.  Carina wants thick, fluffy socks that help her feet feel warm after the barn floor.”

“My socks are fluffy…”

“Trust me, I married a sock snob, and those…”  She pointed at Maya’s feet, “...are not what she wants.”  She saw Maya was about to start asking her a load of questions, questions she’d gladly answer another time when they weren’t all worried about Carina.  “Go!  Shower!”

Chapter Text

“Hello puppies…”  Miller paused by the box-bed that was sitting on the end of the Beanery table and looked at them, then carried on around to the fridge, wanting a bottle of water.  “...I’m gonna hit the shower.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”  He turned and looked at Vic, who was suddenly between him and the showers.

“No, you can’t go use the showers yet.”  Seeing his expression, coupled with the heavy sigh, Vic knew he wasn’t going to just accept her statement without an argument, so she continued.  “Bishop’s in there...”

“So?”  Rather lacking in Christmas cheer on account of getting gas taking an absolute age and he still not entirely clear why Herrera had told him to go on from Grey-Sloan and get the Engine filled up anyway, he crossed his arms and started to try and stare Hughes down.  “Is this some new Captain rule?”

“Grow up Miller,” growled Jack, coming out of the Break Room, having heard Miller’s tone and decided Hughes needed back up, especially as she was only in the firing line because she’d volunteered to make up the next batch of puppy formula.  “Bishop’s in there with Dr DeLuca, who does get a special rule.”  He picked up an apple from the bowl on the counter and took a generous bite out of it, making it clear he was perfectly comfortable standing in Miller’s way until he’d accepted that right now, for whatever reason (though Jack was rather hoping that ‘because I said so’ might just work for the first time ever), the showers were off limits.

“Since when?”  Dean was about to continue to pick an argument out of nowhere with his friends and teammates, until he saw Montgomery appear from the Break Room and, out of Jack’s eyeline, made a very clear gesture with his hand across the front of his throat, in what he hoped Dean would recognise as a ‘stop talking’ gesture.  It was partially successful.  “Wait, what did I miss?”

“Umm…”  Vic looked at Jack, wondering how much they needed to catch him up on, with Dean missing everything that Vic had, plus some more because he was on the gas run.

“So, so much my friend,” said Travis amiably, wandering up to the puppies and giving them a stroke behind the ears.  “...that it’s hard to know where to begin, but for now let’s just go with our lovely Captain managed to completely forget about giving her gorgeous Italian Doctor girlfriend the Cap but somehow, being the true fire nerd she is, managed to explain the Captain’s Duty to her.”

“Wait, you mean the one where only a four alarm…”

“Four alarm fire keeps the Captain away from the Station when a Still Alarm is called?”  Travis continued to give the puppies fuss, maintaining his sing-song tone of voice like he wasn’t really talking about something very serious.  “That’s Miller puppies, he’s the one with the brains apparently…”

“Shit.”  Miller relaxed his arms and ran his hand over his head as he tried to process how that changed the events of the last couple of hours.  “I didn’t know…”

“None of us did,” said Jack quietly, continuing to eat his apple but without any of his earlier aggressive chewing.  “Go easy on Probie, he didn’t know either, but the Doctor did.”

“How long was it before…”

“Before Maya made it back here?  93 minutes according to Probie, and that was because she ran from the scene we were at because Andy called her, not Dispatch, Andy.”

“Wait, ran?  Like…”  Miller mimed pumping his arms like he was doing a training run on the treadmill at a sprint rather than a jog.

“Yeah.  Anyway, Herrera sent you to get gas to keep us off standby for a bit, so we had time to…”  Jack ran out of words, not very good at talking about feelings and emotions at the best of times, but given he generally also tried to be extra respectful about Carina and Maya in light of, well, everything, and it was no surprise to any of his friends that he just stopped speaking.

“Carina was already the wrong side of exhausted when she came by the Station.  With the walk-in and the Dispatch screw-up, Bailey wants her treated, so Dr Shepherd’s doing it here.  Maya’s staying in the Station for the rest of shift.”  

Vic knew she didn’t need to spell out to Dean what ‘Bailey wants her treated’ meant - they’d all been on the ‘wrong side of exhausted’ at some point, usually with smoke inhalation thrown in for good measure, and all knew that if Dr Bailey decided they needed IV fluids, they weren’t going anywhere.  “And you have no idea how lucky you were to not have to watch Pru being born.”

“Neither did you!”  Dean had tried to be the attentive and supportive father in the ‘delivery room’, but had been rather quickly kicked out, leaving the actual labour to Maya and Andy with Captain Herrera.  “Wait, what’s that got to do with this?”

“Goo.”  Travis, who had been listening while continuing to give the puppies fuss, came around the central counter to get the puppy formula Vic had been making, the feistier of the two little animals having sucked quite hard on his fingertip a couple of times in the last minute or so.  “So much goo.”

“Goo?”

“Bishop’s spare coat’s now in hazardous waste.”  Vic passed Travis one bottle but kept the other for herself, deciding they could feed one puppy each.  “And she didn’t complain.”

“She loves that coat...”  

They’d all teased Maya at some point about her attachment to her spare coat, but they were all the same - each of them had a piece of their kit that they struggled to give up willingly, either through superstition or because it was in that sweet spot between ‘broken in’ and ‘worn out’, with the lifespan of these special items of kit being extended by being relegated to ‘spare’ - they were still in their lockers and cages, still just the right side of safe and therefore wearable, but mostly ornamental, hanging on their hooks until the new superstition was formed or the replacement item suddenly ‘felt right’.

“The force of the goo is strong my friend,” sighed Travis, picking up the little puppy and offering it the bottle.  “Stronger than Pru’s full diapers.”  He’d taken it upon himself to clean the barn floor as soon as Carina and Naomi were moved into the PRT, and while he was glad he’d done it, it was certainly in the top few of his ‘most disgusting clean-ups’ he’d ever been involved in.  He’d not been lacking in respect for Carina prior to that task, but realising what childbirth actually involved for the doctor at the ‘goo end’ had seen his respect go up another several levels.  

“Eww…”  Miller opened his bottle of water and took a long pull on it, draining half of it, then put the cap back on.  “...sorry Vic.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t know.”

“Yeah, but…”  He was conscious she was cutting him more slack than he deserved, but understood she didn’t want to discuss it anymore. “...so, are the babies all ok?”

“Yeah, seem to be.”  Jack took the final bite of his apple and tossed the core in the trash, like he was shooting a free throw with a basketball.  “At least, Bailey and Dr Altman seemed pretty chilled about them when we dropped them off.  There’s a pool going on the names.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, the NICU staff wrote the names and stuff down for Probie, but he’s not read it.  So we’re doing the pool.”

“Guess the name?  But isn’t that a bit difficult?”

“Not the name, it’s who the kids are named after.  Warren’s got ten bucks on one of them being named for Probie, but I’ve gone for DeLuca getting both of them.”

“Huh.”  Dean considered this while he finished his water.  “What you go for Vic?”

“Both kids after both of them, Carina and Probie.”

“I went for one for each,” said Travis.

“Isn’t that what Warren went for?”

“He didn’t specify, he’s just bet Probie gets one, I’ve gone for Probie gets one, Carina gets one.”

“Ten bucks says one gets named after not either of them.”

“You mean no shout out at all?”  Vic looked at him in horror.  “That’s cold man.”

“What?  There’s two of them, and family puts pressure on you when it comes to naming them.”

“Speaking of names…” began Travis, moving the puppy he was holding away from his chest just in time to avoid getting milky spit-up on his shirt.  “...what are these guys going to be called?”

“It’s up to whoever adopts them I think,” said Vic, trying to remember everything the guy from the Shelter had told her on the phone yesterday, although with everything that had happened in the last few hours, it felt like much longer ago than that.  “They don’t need names for a few weeks yet.”

“What do you mean, don’t need a name?”  Miller was still not entirely over the guilt of calling Pru ‘TBD’ for as long as he did, so felt the need to be defensive on the puppies’ behalf.

“Puppies this small should still be with their Mom.  It’s only when they get big enough to be separated from her that the whole name thing starts to become important.  Before that you’re just making noise at them.”

“So what’s going to happen to them?”  Travis had managed to get his little puppy to have some more milk after a few more head scratches, and his question was asked against a background of happy slurping sounds.  “Aside from learning table manners.”

“The Shelter will keep them for a few more weeks until they’re old enough to have vaccinations and not need milk and stuff, then they’ll go to whoever adopts them.”  Vic still couldn’t wrap her head around the idea that someone could abandon these puppies after only a couple of weeks - the Shelter hadn’t been able to tell from her photos exactly how old they were, but they’d guessed they were a couple of weeks old as they were still mostly pushing themselves around on their bellies rather than standing on all four legs and their eyes were, when they weren’t asleep, opening a bit.

“Which is going to be Maya and Carina...” Travis switched the puppy from his left hand to his right hand, which interrupted the milk supply, much to his little charge’s noisy disgust.  

“We don’t know that,” reasoned Vic, looking at Travis in amazement.  “How’s your bottle so empty?”

“Hunger.”  He grinned at his best friend.  “And expert technique.”

“Sure we do,” said Jack, surprising them with his input as they’d thought he’d wandered off after he’d finished his apple, but he’d been quietly watching the puppies have their milk.  “As long as Andy says yes.”

“As long as I say yes to what Jack?” asked Andy, coming up the stairs having finished sorting out Maya’s bunk so it was clean and tidy again - despite her original plan to do that first, she’d changed her mind and quickly followed Maya upstairs once she’d sorted out the clean clothes for the couple, then headed back downstairs to strip and remake the bed and tidy up the bunk a bit.  Now Warren and Amelia were in there, setting up the IV ready for a de-goo-ed Carina.

“Maya and Carina adopting the puppies.  They asked you right before the last call.”

“They did?”  Andy, like Vic, was struggling to remember back that far, it feeling like way longer ago than the four hours or so since all the units had headed out together.  “Oh, yeah.”

“Why’d they even ask you?”  Jack didn’t need to see Andy and Vic’s frowns to know he’d not managed to get his tone right.  “I mean, I thought you and Sul..you and Robert I mean, were...you know.”

“We are.”  Andy’s smile was kind - she appreciated he’d found it very strange how quickly she’d seemed to go from barely able to tolerate their former Captain to married to him, but in the same way he was trying very hard to not be a jerk with Maya and Carina, he was also trying very hard to think of Andy’s husband as ‘Robert’, the man who happened to be his former, somewhat disgraced Battalion Chief, rather than the other way around.  It wasn’t always easy, but he was getting there, slowly.  “I still stay with them sometimes.”  Quite how often and regular it was that she did stay there was something Andy preferred to keep mostly private to just Maya and Carina since it was rather closely tied in with how Robert’s sobriety was going, but she’d remembered they’d been talking about it before the call when she and Carina had been speaking Italian.  “And Carina calls that guest room my room still…”  Andy shrugged.  “...they didn’t need to ask me, it’s their decision.”

“Yes, but since they did ask you…” prompted Vic, unable to stand the uncertainty any longer.  “...you were going to say yes right?”

Aid Car 19…

“Err…”  Andy started to react to the call, only for Jack to wrap his arm around her, keeping her from dashing off as Hughes and Miller, Hughes pausing only long enough to put her puppy back in their bed-box, set off to take the call.

“I switched you and Warren with Hughes and Miller.  Figured the first call we’d get would be Aid Car.”

“Thank Jack.”  For all his apparent laid back disinterest in the rules and reports part of the Lieutenant’s role, Andy knew he was far more switched on than he often appeared to be, and little things like this just proved it.  “Wait, does that mean I’m on Engine or Ladder?”

“Not sure, but maybe Ladder?”  He went over to the puppies and picked up the puppy Hughes had been feeding and the still half full bottle and the slightly smaller puppy and began to feed her.  “...I might not have quite got around to telling Dispatch that the Engine and Ladder can go on Standby again…”

“Jack!”

“What?”  He shrugged, realising the puppy was losing heat and opened one of the buttons on his shirt, thinking if she was between his t-shirt and uniform shirt that might help her keep warmer.  “It’s only gonna be a few minutes until we know the Doc’s settled, but I figured Dispatch owed her that much.”  He slipped the puppy in the gap he’d created, taking a minute to work out how to hold her properly, pleased when the extra warmth seemed to have an immediate effect on the little puppy, who started to latch onto the bottle’s teat with a new-found enthusiasm.  “You can call them if it bothers you.”

He had an excellent point.

“Call who?”   

Andy took the other puppy from Travis, wrapped her up in the Santa hat like she’d seen Carina do, then settled her against his chest for the extra warmth, smiling when she saw the care Travis was taking with the puppy, and how it was matched in equal measure by Jack.  For all her teasing of Gibson, she was really pleased he’d found a way to break his usual pattern of behaviour with women, a pattern she was woman enough to admit to herself she, and Maya too a bit but mostly Andy, had helped him develop over the years.  Whatever his relationship with Inara and Marcus was, it seemed to be helping him find his peace, just as she was with Robert and Maya was with Carina.

“Wait, you are going to say yes right?”

“Yes Montgomery, I’m going to say yes.”

“Hear that puppy?” asked Jack, changing the angle of the bottle so she could carry on drinking with the same enthusiasm despite the rapidly dropping level.  “You’re gonna grow up to be bilingual.”

“Jack!”

“What?  Like the Doc’s not gonna teach them Italian…”  He looked up at Andy and smirked.  “Twenty bucks says their pronunciation will be better than Maya’s.”

“Harsh.”  Andy shook her head at him, unable to suppress her own grin, finding it funny how he still managed to find all sorts of ways to call Carina some variant of Dr DeLuca rather than her first name like he felt he didn’t have the right to (he didn’t, having decided that if he wouldn’t ever dream of calling Dr Bailey ‘Miranda’, then it made sense to him that he didn’t call Maya’s girlfriend ‘Carina’ yet).  

“And no bet.”

Chapter Text

She was exhausted.  Emotionally and physically.  And frustrated.  With herself, with everything.

"I feel like a child." 

"Why?" Maya finished tweaking the toe and heel of the ridiculously thick and fluffy sock so it was lined up with her girlfriend’s foot.  “I mean, the socks are…”

“Festive.”  Carina pointed and flexed her toes, watching as the snowflake pattern moved.

“C’mon…” prompted Maya, tapping Carina’s knee with her finger, wanting her to lift her other foot so she could put the other ridiculous, but certainly festive and warm thick sock on for her.  “...was I ‘a child’ when you were putting my socks on for me last month?”

“No...but that was different.”  

Maya had spent a frustrating couple of hours at Grey-Sloan one afternoon, while Link made sure that her arm was only tingling because she’d not quite timed her grab.  All things considered, she was rather pleased with herself for stopping the sprinting teenager, given he’d been supposed to be behind the tape and had two police officers keeping an eye on him after his earlier attempt to be his grandma’s hero.  Despite his a head start on her and being a full head or more taller than her, she’d kept him on the sidewalk, out of danger.  And she’d been right in the end, her shoulder wasn’t dislocated, but it had been rather overstretched: a precautionary 72 hours in a sling to curb her natural tendency to reach with that arm first was eventually prescribed...and meant Maya needed some help putting on her socks.

“Why?”  Second sock on, Maya put her girlfriend’s foot back on the locker room floor and kissed the inside of her knee, perfectly mimicking what Carina had done when Maya had been equally grumpy at her inability to get dressed.

“Perché sono stato stupido…”  Carina, now she had been able to properly process that Maya was not overlooking any bruises or burns, and just had a slightly sore ankle from her impromptu sprint, was feeling stupid for getting so worried by her girlfriend’s prolonged absence from the Station.

“I promise no one thinks that.”  Maya put her hand on Carina’s bouncing knee, trying to calm the spasm that was starting, but it made no difference and was tiring her out just watching the frenetic movement, so it absolutely had to be bad for her exhausted girlfriend.  “At least, not about you.”  Time, she decided, to play dirty.

“Eh?”  Carina watched Maya, her leg still twitching as she stood up and turned around so she was facing the other bench, where Andy had left the neat piles of clothes for both of them.  “Not Probie?”

“No, not Probie.”  With her back to Carina, knowing Vic had promised that the locker room would be off limits to everyone after they’d moved through from the showers, Maya let the towel she’d been wrapped in drop to the floor.  “Me.”

“Cosa?”  Carina asked the question as a reflex, more interested in the sudden display by her girlfriend.  

Just because the body was beyond exhausted didn’t stop the mind from remembering what those wonderful curves felt like under her hands, what it was like to…”Mamma mia…” she muttered when, her body slightly angled towards Carina but seemingly otherwise oblivious to her, Maya put her sore ankle up on the bench and began to give it a very necessary prod to make sure it was just puffiness from the pounding it got when she sprinted to the Station.  Carina was able to see a hint of inner thigh and a slight swell of breast, but Maya’s arm reaching down to her ankle managed to obstruct Carina’s view of the rest of her girlfriend’s front, though seeing the muscles flex in Maya’s back, muscles Carina was going to have to start reciting in English and Italian in a minute in order to keep herself tranquilla as ‘...bellissima…’ Maya had flexed her foot, wanting to check how her ankle flexion was.  But with her foot still up on the bench, it meant she moved into a lunge and her glutes and hamstrings responded, as did Carina.

“Huh?”  Hearing the murmuring noises, Maya turned her head and looked at her girlfriend, smirking slightly when she saw her flushed.  “Still feel like a child?” she teased, abandoning her ankle investigation, though if she was spending a while in her bunk she’d see if there was a bag of peas or something in the freezer she could pack it with to help the swelling.

“Maya…” groaned Carina, leaning back against the lockers she was sat in front of, her eyes closing.  “...not funny.”

“Sorry.”  

She wasn’t, not really, because it had managed to draw Carina out of her needless emotional boxing match she had been having with herself since about a minute into her shower.  

Despite her insistence she didn’t need Maya’s help, Carina had got so lightheaded when she tried to wash her leg that she’d ended up almost headbutting Maya’s stomach, the collision avoided because Maya had wrapped her up in a tight hug and helped her regain her equilibrium.  After that, Carina had agreed to just concentrate on standing up under the water, one hand touching the wall to help her stability, while Maya washed away the goo and grime from her body and washed her hair.  Unfortunately, the tenderness and care and love that Maya gave her proved too much for Carina’s resolve, and soon the wetness on her face wasn’t just from the showerhead.  Instead, the final realisation that she was done, that there were no more mamas and bambinas for her, no more alarms and fire for Maya, that Maya was there, safe and well hit her hard.

When Maya had turned the water off and pushed back the curtain, she’d expected Carina to reach for the towel and step out, but when she’d reached for the towel Carina wobbled again.  With one hand on Carina’s back to keep her steady, Maya ducked under the arm the doctor was tiredly lifting in the direction of the cubicle divider and stepped out of the shower.  Picking up one of the towels she’d left on the hook, she’d wrapped it around her girlfriend’s chest and, not caring about her own nakedness, lifted Carina out of the shower, rather alarmed that she was able to do that without any objections or protests.  Once she’d got Carina standing on her own feet again, Maya had put her girlfriend’s hands on her shoulders so she couldn’t wobble too much, and then wrapped a towel around herself. Towel corner securely tucked between her breasts, she picked up Carina again ‘bridal style’ as Amelia had called it earlier, hoping that by holding her girlfriend against her body it would secure the towel, and headed to the door that Carina did, just about manage to muster the energy to open wide enough for Maya to hook it with her foot and force it fully open.  

Once sat on a bench in the locker room, Maya had rubbed the excess water from Carina’s hair and then helped her into the uniform shirt and shorts she’d elected to wear as pyjama substitutes, worried about the tears that were silently cascading down her girlfriend’s cheeks but wanting to get her dressed in clean and dry clothes before asking about them. 

The ‘I’m a child’ statement as Maya finished up with putting on her girlfriend’s borrowed socks had been the first time Carina had spoken since she’d confirmed the water was an acceptable temperature.

“Why are you the stupid one?” asked Carina finally, her eyes opening slowly when she decided the pleasure of seeing her girlfriend’s beautiful body far outweighed the torturous agony of being unable to muster the energy to worship it.

“Because I managed to tell you about the Duty to the Station but not get around to giving you the Cap sooner.”

“Ah…”  

Carina’s head tilted slightly as she watched Maya smooth the fabric of the navy blue underwear she wore at work, the plain cotton dark navy slip that Carina had discovered were called ‘boy shorts’ in American English and confused her greatly, as there was nothing boy-like about Maya.  She’d also, for the first few weeks after she’d become familiar with her girlfriend’s underwear choices, begun to wonder if the uniform issue extended to underwear as well as all the other garments that were more obviously SFD branded, but Maya had laughed and explained she just felt more comfortable at work in the ‘boring blue’.  Now Carina had a better understanding as to quite how...mixed up everyone was in the Station, she understood the default choice, even if it wasn’t the most exciting to remove when Station 19’s ‘Captain Bishop’ became her Maya.

“...but they do not know I asked about it.  You should…”

“Tell them?”  Maya turned around as she pulled her t-shirt on, missing the effect her abs flexing had on Carina.  “No.”  Her head popped through the neck hole and she began to smooth the fabric down her torso, realising where Carina’s attention was focused.  “I don’t care what they think about me, I only care about you.”  She twisted and stretched for her clean shirt, smiling when she saw Andy had already pinned her badge and collar insignia on the shirt for her.  “Who was so amazing I think half my team’s now in love with you.”

The significance of Maya’s absence had hit her when, after they’d got Naomi lying down on the barn floor on some blankets Emmett had found, and Carina had snapped on some gloves ready to do an exam, she’d become conscious that the barn was completely empty except for the four of them.  The realisation that there was no Aid Car, no Engine, no Ladder...which meant there was no Captain in the Station, caused a tight, ugly knot of anxiety inside her that only torqued and twisted more brutally the longer she was alone in the Station with her patient, Probie and her thoughts... 

As she started to do the external exam on autopilot, she could hear her girlfriend’s voice as she’d floated in the bathwater, after the panic attack, anchored by her head on Carina’s shoulder, her thighs bumping against Carina’s knees, making little wave patterns with her hands in the scented foam formed by the hotel’s little bottle of bubble bath, answering Carina’s questions.

….it’s a way of describing the size of a situation.  The first alarm sounds at the station responding to the incident, sending out the engine and ladder, the Captain overseeing them and possibly another engine or ladder from another station.  But if the Captain decides that more is needed, then the second alarm sounds.  So the Two Alarm brings more engines and ladders, more Captains to help coordinate the fight against the fire.

As she listened to Naomi explaining she was expecting twins, but not for another four weeks, Carina’s autopilot saw her start to feel where the babies were positioned, making suitable noises she couldn’t remember now if she tried.  Instead, she remembered the memory of that bath continuing to play in her head, remembered she’d asked what happened if these extra bells sounded at the end of their shift, did Maya hand it over to another Captain?  Did firefighters inside the building put down their hoses and walk out because their hours were done?  She’d not meant that literally, already knowing that scenes were a lot like surgeries, in that you kept going until the job was done.  But there were times when she did have to put down her scalpel and let someone else finish, but usually because there was someone who needed more of her unique skills and experience than the patient in front of her.  How, she’d wondered, did Maya get to finish her shift if a scene was at its two or three alarm bell stage?  What happened if there was another situation that mattered more?

...not special like doctors, we’re all technically the same, relying on the building codes and fire inspections to mean we can go anywhere, to any scene...it wouldn’t matter if the building across the street from the station was on fire, if 19 were already at another scene, that’s where we’d stay, not leaving it until it was safe.  So another station would turn up across the street from 19 and we’d stay where we were...

As her autopilot helped Naomi get as comfortable as it was possible to be given their situation, ready for whatever internal exam the bambini would allow her to make, her memories took her back to when she’d asked if it was embarrassing to have it be your station that was the scene, not the building next door, thinking it sounded like when an Attending needed treating in their own hospital, professional pride making simple things complicated.

...it’s only embarrassing if it was your fault, but yeah, we’re allowed to care about our Stations, they’re...like our sacred space, our sanctuary.  It’s called the Captain’s Duty actually, it’s the duty to the Station, to the people, to the trucks and kit...and actually...there is a part of it...it’s the only way I would be reassigned from a scene to a scene that wasn’t bigger, and that would be if there was a still alarm at 19.  Unless I was already at a Four Alarm scene.”

Unless I was already at a Four Alarm scene…

Those words had rattled around Carina’s head as she’d completed the internal exam, fairly satisfied that, for the first bambino the delivery would be smooth and simple for mama and bambino, though now she’d got a better sense of things, she was cursing herself for not getting the woman further into the Station somehow, as now...now there was no more moving of mama.  

Moving mama meant moving the babies, and that was where the risk was.  The second baby was going to be a problem, a big problem as Carina could already tell they hadn’t turned and all her experience told her there wouldn’t be the time or the room to turn them once the first baby had been born.  But for now, the little one’s heartbeat was strong and they were not in the way of the twin that had started this adventure for them all.  There was nothing Carina could do except make sure that the first baby arrived as well as possible, and that meant here on the cold concrete of the barn floor.

Maya was at another scene when the Still Alarm sounded.

Maya hadn’t come back to the Station when the Still Alarm sounded.

Maya had a Duty to the Station to come back to it now...to come back to her...unless Maya was already at a Four Alarm scene…

That was when the knot had twisted tighter still, threatening to overwhelm her, to drown out her autopilot...that was when she’d drawn on her deepest, most protected reserve of energy, the one she knew as an experienced Doctor to hold back for herself, to ensure she always had just a little bit left to make sure that no matter how bad the situation she’d not become the patient.  But now she needed it.  She needed that last remaining ounce of energy to keep her focus, to switch from autopilot to actual pilot, to deliver these babies and look after her patients, look after Maya’s Probie....Maya would be fine, Maya had to be fine….

Santo Padre, tienila al sicuro per me.

The words her grandmother uttered as she hugged her tight at the airport, right before Carina left Sicily ‘for good’ according to her grandmother.

Holy Father, keep her safe for me.

That became her mantra, when she didn’t need to be doing anything for her patients, didn’t need to be coaching Maya’s Probie through breathing patterns and obs checks and wrist splinting.

That became the way she kept the fear in her gut not her head.

That became the way she kept her focus.

Santo Padre, tienila al sicuro per me.

That’s why she became the patient.

That’s why she wasn’t ‘a child’, why she wasn’t being fair to Maya to be complaining about her loving her.

“Which half?”

“Huh?”  Clearly she’d been a little too lost in her thoughts, as Maya’s t-shirt was now covered by the buttoned up uniform shirt and she was putting on her own calzini.

“Which half of the team is now ‘in love with me’?” she teased, trying not to torture herself with memories of the definitely female delights that were concealed behind the ‘boring blue’ fabric of shorts that had no place near any boys, frustrated that she really was the patient now.

“Does it matter which half?” asked Maya, recognising that the teasing question was perhaps the first sign of the unknotting of the ball of anxiety she knew had taken hold of her girlfriend hours ago, in turn feeling the iron grip on her heart weaken, her relief at seeing her Carina, her wonderful light, beautiful Carina starting to return.

“No.”  Carina had to bite her lip to stop herself from trying to start something she knew she’d not be able to continue with, so she focused instead on the now, willing Maya to hurry up with the rest of her uniform.  “Because I like them all…”  She paused, surprised at what she’d said, wondering why she’d not included even a half thought to herself that qualified the ‘all’, accepting with her own inevitable conclusion, “...even Jack with his Santa hat, but I only love their Captain.”

“That’s a relief, because I like them all too, even Jack, some of the time…” said Maya, fastening her belt as she approached Carina, crouching down between her legs, lightly resting her hand on Carina’s thigh for balance.  “...but I only love you.”

“Baciami bella...”

As Maya’s lips touched hers, that last bit of energy, kept for the most urgent of emergencies when the darkest moments needed a spark of light, surged up in Carina and she responded to Maya’s kiss, her fingers finding their way despite heavy arms to Maya’s damp hair, tangling amongst the strands as their tongues met and danced.

The Captain was here in her Station.

Carina’s anxiety was gone, Maya was here, safe in her arms.

“Maya?” asked Carina quietly, their lips finally drawing apart.

“Mmm?”

“Thank you for putting my socks on.”

“Always…” Of everything Carina might have said, that wasn’t what Maya would have guessed if she had a thousand guesses.

“I think I’m too tired to stand up.”

“Ah.”  Maya eased back onto her heels so she could study Carina’s beautiful, expressive face with careful attention.  “Would you like me to carry you?”

“Si bella. Grazie.”

Chapter Text

“Were those my socks?”

“That’s what you noticed?” asked Andy, looking at her husband with genuine jaw-dropping amazement.

“Yes…”  Robert looked around for someone to back him up, finding he had the rather limited options of Emmett, Gibson and Montgomery.

“I don’t know how straight women cope,” sighed Travis dramatically, giving his now very asleep puppy another little scratch behind her ear.  “You have my sympathy Andy.”

“Cope with what?” asked Emmett, deciding to set a fresh pot of coffee going, knowing someone would want it.

“Straight men.”

“But…”

“No, I’m sorry, but when confronted with the sight of the Captain carrying her super-sexy supermodel hot Italian girlfriend, who’s got to have legs longer than yours by the way, the range of acceptable responses does not include ‘were those my socks?’”

“Okay…”  Robert sat down on the stool by the counter and selected an apple.  “...so what are the acceptable responses?”

“Don’t answer that.”  The bottle of puppy formula was empty, so Jack put it down on the counter, though he kept the puppy between his shirt and t-shirt so she didn’t get cold.

“But Jack…”

“His wife’s…” began Jack, pointing to Robert, “...literally right there…” he pointed to Andy, “...and is your Lieutenant…” he continued, pointing to all three of them, deciding Emmett’s smirk included him in the ‘do not go there’ warning group.  “...and our Captain’s…” He did a circling motion that made it clear he was including himself too at this point. “...best friend.”  He stopped abruptly.  “I can’t believe I’m the one making the sensible grown up point.”

“Christmas miracle?” teased Andy, deciding that as cute as the puppies were, since it was Christmas Day, she’d live dangerously and give her husband’s neck the fuss, rather than the puppy.  “And Montgomery’s half right, I mean you probably score five out of ten at most there.”

“Harsh,” said Robert as Travis said ‘generous’.

“I mean, you do score points for noticing the socks rather than the legs that are probably the best in the station…” mused Andy, enjoying teasing Robert while with her friends, pleased they were also starting to relax enough around him and him around them that they were joining in.

“Probably?  Definitely the best, I mean come on!” declared Travis, raising his eyebrow in challenge to Andy’s caveated approval.  “Long, with that Meditteranean complexion...like I said, supermodel-hot Italian?”

“My legs are long…” Robert stretched his leg out, making the point without needing to stand up, that he really was comfortably taller than anyone else at 19, including Carina.

“Yes baby, but you don’t shave your legs.”

“How do you know that?”  Travis paused, finding he had a second problem.  “Wait, I know how you know that about him, but how do you know about Dr DeLovely?”

“Same reason I got consulted about the puppies.”

“Fair.”  Travis nodded, realising there were things he knew about Vic that he’d learned because they lived together, and then switched over the puppy to his other hand for a bit.  “So we’re agreed, those are the best legs in the station?”

“Best legs in the station,” agreed Andy, stroking the back of her husband’s neck in apology.  “Sorry, but yes, they were your socks.”

“How do you even have a vote?” asked Jack, deciding his puppy would probably appreciate being back with her sister in his hat that he knew he was never getting back.

“I’m gay not dead.”  Travis solved Jack’s dilemma for him by putting his puppy back in the box-bed, deciding that coffee and a bowl of cereal was probably a good idea, and certainly easier to do if he wasn’t holding a puppy.  “Wonder if she’s got rhythm.”

“Carina?  She’s definitely got rhythm,” sighed Andy happily, recalling dancing with the Italian round the living room while she was staying with them after Maya let slip one evening that she wasn’t the only champion in the room.  When Andy had admitted she’d been State Champion in Salsa, and on the Dance Team at school, she and Carina were soon working their way through Carina’s favourite Italian songs, experimenting to see which dance style suited which song best.

“She dances?” asked Robert, beginning to wonder if he should be more worried about his wife’s willingness to still spend the odd night with her friends.  “Salsa?”

“Yup…”  Andy belatedly realised her slight mistake, and backpedaled.  “...I mean, she’s a very good dancer from a technical perspective…”

“A technical perspective?”  Jack and Travis shared a knowing smirk.  “You mean she doesn’t step on your feet like Maya does?”

“Yes Jack, she doesn’t step on my feet.  But it’s...sin chispas,”

“Do we want to know what chispas are?” asked Travis, looking at Emmett in case Spanish was another language he had hidden talents with.

“I’m guessing not,” decided Jack cautiously, guessing that whatever ‘chispas’ meant, it was obviously something Andy felt she had when she danced salsa with her husband, something that he understood and was happy about.

“Best legs in the Station, she dances, she cooks, she brings babies into the world...I think I’m in love with her,” sighed Travis dramatically, pleased when he heard the rare sound of Sullivan chuckling along with the others.

“Can the Captain dance?”

“Maya?  Dance?”  Andy shook her head.  “Our Captain is good at many things Probie, but, much as I love my best friend, I would never try and dance within three feet of her.”

“But don’t worry, you’ll never have to,” promised Travis, pouring out coffee for all of them now the pot was full.  “She hates ‘couple-y’ dancing.”

“Not anymore…Thanks.”  Andy took the two mugs he passed towards her, handing one of them on to Robert.

“More Carina-magic?”

“More Carina-magic,” agreed Andy, raising her mug of coffee to him in a mixture  of thanks and acknowledgment of the accuracy of his statement but deciding they’d probably be best changing subject now.  “Oh, Warren was telling me about the baby name bets…”

“Yeah?  You want in?” asked Gibson, pulling out the piece of paper he’d had to start making notes on so he kept all the options and choices in the right combination.

“Can I have a DeLuca double with Probie getting one?”

“Sure, that’s still free.”  He made a note.  “What about you Probie?”

“Me Probie or him Probie?” asked Emmett, not sure from Jack’s tone whether he was ‘it’ or not, seeing Sullivan hadn’t a clue either.

“Ah, both of you.”

“You first,” said Robert, not sure what options were left but certain that Emmett should have the pick ahead of him given his involvement.

“Umm…”  Emmett looked a bit panicked as he tried to work out what he could go for that he knew wasn’t cheating (he knew the boy’s first name was Luca, which meant Dr DeLuca certainly had one baby named after her) but also wasn’t already picked by someone else.  “The Doctor gets both and, umm...the Captain gets one.”

“Really?”  Jack hadn’t been expecting that.  “You sure?  I mean…”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”  He really wasn’t, but there was something about the way Naomi had been rather fixated on how the Doctor’s shirt said ‘Bishop’ that made him think it wasn’t so crazy.

“Ok then.  Other Probie?”

“Umm…”  He was struggling to guess what options might be left available, then he remembered it had been 45’s Aid Car that had responded first.  “...both get named after the Doctor, and one each after Emmett and Lt..”  He had a total blank on her surname.  “...from 45.”

“Tess?”  Jack thought about that for a moment before nodding.  “Interesting call, alright, ten bucks from all of you.”

“What’s the prize?”  Andy knew that, while sometimes their bets meant the winner took the whole pot, usually it was split into a bit of the pot and a lot of bragging rights, while the remainder of the money went towards something the whole team could either benefit from or approved of in terms of helping someone or something out.

“Uh, I’d kinda assumed we’d maybe ask the Captain if she was going to do the whole Cap thing for them, then get the bears with them or something?”

“The Cap thing?”  Emmett was confused.  “I thought she did that…”  Everything before the babies felt a lifetime ago, but deep in the depths of his memory, despite it being only about six hours earlier, Emmett had a fairly clear memory that Captain Bishop had got through five turns before the alarms went.

“For Carina, yeah, but babies born in the Station usually get them too,” explained Travis, liking Jack’s idea.  “I can’t see why she wouldn’t agree to that, can you Andy?”

“I’m sure she will, agree to them getting Caps, but I think she’ll say she’s not the person to do it, at least, not on her own.”

“But it’s always the Captain.”

“I didn’t say she wouldn’t do it Travis,” corrected Andy, sipping her coffee and smiling at Emmett. “Your dress uniform clean Probie?”

“This isn’t going to work.”

“Amelia…”  Carina did not like the sound of her friend’s declaration, not wanting to go to Grey-Sloan.

“You’re as stiff as a board.”

“Eh?”  Carina turned her head on the pillow to look at Maya, confused.  “It is boring lying here no?”

“Yes…”  Maya was trying really hard not to laugh, knowing she had no right to be anything other than awestruck with Carina’s language skills at the best of times, but especially when by rights Carina should be fast asleep by now.  “...but not that sort of bored.”  Maya, lying down next to her girlfriend, propped her head up on her hand and looked around her bunk then down at her girlfriend who, Amelia was right, was lying flat on her back not at all relaxed.

“Oh.”  Carina’s forehead wrinkled as she tried to work out what other meanings there could be that she’d forgotten about.

“It’s…” began Amelia, only to be silenced by a ferocious looking glare from Maya, followed by a jerk of her head that Ben recognised - he’d seen her do the same to Herrera at a scene a week or so back.  

He, like the rest of the team, on seeing the look, were expecting a quick row to erupt between the two friends, but instead Andy had muttered something about needing to check some random piece of kit, which Maya had added a second item to, and she’d walked away, pulling Miller and Montgomery with her.  Five minutes later, when Hughes and Maya had managed to get the panicking woman to calm down and into the Aid Car, they’d understood what Andy had known the minute she’d seen the rapid transformation:  Maya had spotted something in the woman’s behaviour that made her think she was being spooked by something, with the logical conclusion being the maleness of Dean and Travis.  The look at Andy and the improvised kit inspection was simple, but effective.

“I, uh, just remembered the…”  He stood up, swallowing a gulp of air as he tried to think of something, giving Amelia’s shoulder a not entirely gentle push.  “...the Halligans need checking.”

“But…”  Confused, Amelia finally gave in to his strange behaviour and went with him into Maya’s office, only to be dragged all the way out into the Station entrance before he would speak.

“Sorry, look…”  He held up his hands in apology and took another breath.  “...it’s something she did at a scene a couple of weeks back, we all thought she’d lost it with Andy.”

“Not surprised, she’s…”  Amelia’s reacceptance of Maya as her best friend’s girlfriend had been slow, and despite her epiphanal realisations since she’d been in the Station that maybe she’d been unduly harsh in her assessment of the Fire Captain, she was still quick to negatively judge Maya.

“Really shy?  Especially about anything to do with Carina?” suggested Warren, leaning against the counter, smirking when he saw his friend’s look of disbelief.  “I mean sure, we tease her and she goes with it, but it’s like...I had a patient once, came in with a really badly cut up hand, which we stitched up and everything, and while I did, we talked about how stupid he’d been to put it down on the broken glass and everything, made a few jokes...but in all the time I was treating him, we never spoke about why he was dressed as a clown.”

“What?”

“Yeah, no clue what that was about, but I just let it go.  He was comfortable talking about his hand, and the stupid stuff he’d done to mess it up, so he became ‘the hand guy’.  Not ‘the clown guy’.”  He stretched his neck from side to side, starting to feel that he was almost in the final third of the second of his back to back 24 hour shifts.  Only another 9 hours to go.  

“So we tease Maya about her ‘Supermodel Italian Doctor’ and how she’d been Maya ‘monogamy is for the weak’ Bishop like that guy joked about his hand.  But the rest?”  He looked away from Amelia, staring at a point somewhere between the end of his nose and the display cabinet, his expression no longer laid back, but instead making Amelia think he was angry about something, no, angry for someone?   

“Like how she lives with the stuff in her past that means there’s a restraining order against her father that we only know about because a cop had to come by and show the whole house, not just A shift, all the shifts his photograph so we could recognise him?  Because it specifically mentions he may not come into the Station or be within 300 yards of a scene Maya’s at?”  His grip on the station counter had tightened as he spoke, but he kept going - as much as he hated the shit they’d not known Maya had had to put up with from her father of all people, as much as he liked Amelia, he’d had enough of her scepticism and, Christmas or not, she was going to know as much as the newbie on C shift.

“Or that everytime we get a call to a homeless camp she hangs back in case her brother’s there because if she tries to help him he runs again?  That we only know about because if he is there she hands the scene over to Herrera or Gibson and gives herself the worst chores the rest of shift?  That stuff?  We don’t touch.  But we thank whatever we’ve got that Carina found her.”

“I…”

“Didn’t know?  Yeah, that’s the point.  And it goes both ways, which is why, right now?  We give them space.”

They lapsed into silence, a silence that started off uncomfortably but, as Ben knew it would do, gradually settled into a comfortable silence between two people who’d known each other a long time, as Amelia reflected on what he’d said and drew parallels with how they all interacted with Carina.  Sure, there was the ‘Dr Orgasm’ jokes and the giggling from the interns when they first came across her direct, matter-of-factness about masterbation and sex, and the comments, often fire or Olympics related and involving bad puns about ‘her Olympic firefighter’...but never about her brother’s mental health, or her father’s, or whatever it was that meant she was a bit claustrophobic and so on.  Some of it Amelia knew, but she knew from late night conversations in shadowy labs and deserted wards, when the darkness and the quiet brought Carina’s ‘stuff’ to the surface in a confidence Amelia knew never to break.

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

“What’s a halli-thing?”

“Halligan?”

“Yeah, you said to Maya you’d remembered the Halligans needed checking.”  Amelia shrugged at his bemused look.  “If we’re killing time for a few minutes, I may as well learn something, and it’s a something.”

“Right, well...come on then,” he gestured for her to head on through into the barn.  “You can have a hold of one…”

Amelia Shepherd wasn’t very good at apologising for saying the wrong thing, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t full of regret that she’d done it.  And somewhere, sometime there would be the acknowledgement of the error and its impact that would translate into her having a different attitude towards, and relationship with Maya.  But the fact that she was going to take the time now, to know what a Halligan was and how to use it to bust a lock?  That, Ben knew, was her apology, which was good enough for him.

Chapter Text

“Comfy?” asked Maya, crouching by the side of her bunk and lifting a strand of hair off her girlfriend’s face.

“Si, and confused.”  Carina didn’t understand why Maya had made her move around so her head was where her feet had been, the pillow now at the opposite end of the bed to it had always been.

“That I can fix.”  Standing up, Maya unbuckled her belt, putting it next to the neat pile of Carina’s folded clothes, then walked around to what was technically the foot of the bed, and lay down next to her girlfriend, only now Carina was on her right side.

Carina was still confused about why they’d had to turn themselves around, and why Maya had taken her belt off.  But what she wasn’t confused about was Maya’s right arm, which was now tucked behind Maya’s head.  “Grazie bella…” she murmured, instinctively turning onto her side and shuffling across the mattress a little, so she could curl up against Maya, her head on Maya’s chest.  As she felt Maya’s arm move down from behind her head to wrap around her back, Carina sighed what Maya thought of as a ‘happy sigh’, and moved her head a little as she found the ‘perfect’ place to rest her head, the slope of her girlfriend’s breast providing just the right chin support.

“Still confused?” asked Maya quietly, keeping her breathing steady as she felt the weight of her girlfriend’s head settle onto her right shoulder, spasming neck muscles that she knew Carina was probably no longer conscious of finally given a break.

“No…”  Carina smiled as she reached up and began to trace the textured details on the hard silver badge that was pinned on her girlfriend’s shirt, exactly where her cheek would have been if they’d not turned around.  “...grazie bellissima…”  She leaned further into the familiar warmth of her ‘piccoli riscaldatore’ and turned her head into Maya’s chest, kissing the strong muscles that still managed to be soft and feminine through the layers of her uniform.  “I love you.”

“I love you,” agreed Maya, giving Carina a one-armed hug that, as well as saying ‘I love you’, also said ‘you don’t need to move’, which encouraged Carina to stay where she was, which was with most of her weight now resting on Maya rather than the mattress.  When she’d turned her head to kiss Maya, her pelvis had tilted forwards and her shoulder had followed, meaning that now, rather than lying on her side next to Maya with her head on her girlfriend, she was lying at an angle, the front edge of her left hip turned into the mattress, her body now mostly supported by Maya’s side, from ribs to thigh.  “So, so much…”  Maya reached up with her left hand and tucked the inevitable stray strands of hair that had tumbled across her girlfriend’s face behind her ear, smiling when, after she’d tidied the hair out of Carina’s eyes, she caught hold of Maya’s hand and began to trace the textures of her fingers instead of the textures of her badge.  “...and I’m still not sure if I’m relieved or upset that you were here when that woman came in.”

“If I was not here, what would have happened?”

“Honestly?  I would have been called immediately, and we’d have got her to Grey-Sloan before the first baby was born I think.”

“No, there was no time...the first one would have been born in the Aid Car.  Why would you have been called faster?  Would the mistake not happen still?”

“We think, because you were here, that whoever received the first call saying it was active labour but you were assisting, thought it was the second call, like an update...if she’d arrived and I’d been here and seen how close she was, I can request a doctor comes to us, same as any scene.”

“Ah, capisco...same as you say you need more ladders and engines, you can say you need a doctor?”  Carina’s thoughtful expression shifted as she made herself laugh at something

“Yeah...”  Maya picked up on her amusement.  “What?”

“Does that mean I get a siren and lights to go with my new cap?”  She began to make a quiet ‘nee-naw’ sound that, to anyone growing up in Italy was instantly recognisable as the sound small children made when imitating the fire engines, but which took Maya a second to place as it wasn’t quite the same as what her engine sounded like.

“I let Teddy turn the engine lights on earlier…”

“Si?  Should I be gelosa?”  Carina removed any possible risk of Maya taking her question seriously by kissing her chest again.  “And it does not matter now, with the babies,” said Carina simply, snuggling even more deeply into Maya, her right leg slipping into the gap between her girlfriend’s, her bare leg immediately warming up with the contact.  “They would have been my Christmas morning if I was here or not.  And it was easier to wake up here and go into the fienile che da casa nostra all'ospedale…”  She was getting sleepy, now she was starting to let the tension really go, and that meant her English wandered off.  “...scusa…”

“Here to the barn is definitely easier than home to the hospital,” agreed Maya, recognising enough of what Carina had said to be able to take a guess that the first word she’d not really heard was probably in some way a reference to the barn.  “Can I ask you a question?”

“Si.”

“Why don’t any of your Christmas decorations have orange in them?”

“Eh?”  That was not an easy question to answer, and Carina was confused again, so she forced her brain to gather up her English again.  “Why would they have orange in them?”

“But I thought…”  Maya frowned as she thought back to way before the shift had turned into stress and babies, back to when it was slow and almost boring with too many animals and Carina leaning against the doorframe wearing Maya’s uniform shirt with too many buttons undone and the first piece of underwear, no lingerie, that Maya had ever bought anyone, ever.  “...your bra…”

“Si, you gave it to me.”

“...you said it was festive, but it’s orange...I thought it must be an Italian thing…”

“Ah, no.”  Carina wasn’t confused anymore, and she grinned, deciding she wanted to see her adorably sweet and confused girlfriend’s face, so she rolled even further onto her and lifted her head up, so she was looking at Maya, her chin resting on her chest still.  “It’s a Maya thing.”

“It is? How?”  Maya was desperately trying to remember what she might have said or done to make Carina decide that the colour orange was special to Maya and festive, when if Maya was honest, before Carina the nearest she’d probably ever got to being ‘festive’ was only having one training run on Christmas Day, not a run and a something else training related.  “I gave you that in the summer…”

“Si.  I remember.  I never asked you how you knew my favourite make, or the size or where there was in Seattle that stocked them…”  Her tiredness caught up with her and, despite her enthusiastic reeling off of questions she genuinely wanted answers to but kept forgetting to ask, she began to yawn, which then reminded her why they were talking about it in the first place.  “...and went all shy…”

“I did not!”

“Your words wandered.”

“Rambled.”

“Your words rambled.”

“Not the words, just I rambled.”

“Si, you agree, you rambled.”  Carina had genuinely not known she’d not got the phrase right, but once she’d heard Maya say the correct verb she saw an opportunity to keep light what she now thought was a slightly heavier conversation than she’d at first realised, or Maya was probably expecting when she asked her question.  “About hoping I liked it and avoiding the cheesy black and red and…”

“...and I knew I thought you looked really amazing in orange and hoped, based on how often I saw you wearing something in a shade of it, that you liked you in it too...” finished Maya, remembering that bit of the conversation very clearly.  “...you have a lot of orangy coloured clothes.”

“Si, especially since the summer.”

“Oh, ok…”  Maya felt her cheeks warming when Carina’s true meaning registered, and made a mental note to try and expand her vocabulary a little bit so she could try and properly capture how beautiful she thought her girlfriend invariably looked in everything she was or wasn’t wearing.

“The first American Christmas song I learned when I moved here was the one with the chestnuts on the fire.”  She hummed the tune to make it clear to Maya which one she was talking about.

“Really? You know others though, I’ve heard you singing them, in English and Italian.”

“Si, but…”  She traced the ridges on Maya’s badge as she tried to think of an example.  “...to me ‘Jingle Bells’ is the American words to Din Don Dan, which is what Andrea and I sang to that tune when we were little.  But there is no Chestnuts on the fire song in Italian, at least, not that I know.”  There hadn’t been many chestnuts, or open fires for that matter, in the part of Sicily she’d spent her childhood in either.

“Ah, you’re saying that you only know the chestnuts on the fire song in English?”

“Si, it was the first ‘only in English’ Christmas song I learned when I moved here, and the only song I think know about fire.”

“Hmm.”  Maya hadn’t ever thought about ‘fire’ as a topic in music, but she was fairly certain it was more because she was really bad at remembering song lyrics and names than it not being there.  “I think I must know some songs about fire, but can’t think of any right now.”

“Fire wasn’t something I thought about, like you with dogs.  And then I discover you think everything from the colour of the fruit a terra d'ombra bruciata is ‘orange’ and mamma mia…”

“I now know what burnt umber is…” grumbled Maya good naturedly, still not seeing the festive connection but also knowing she had never been all that bothered by the names of colours, though she remembered Mason being equally frustrated with her inability to worry about what type of blue her running kit was.  “...and know it’s not the same colour as the fruit.”

“Si bella.  And then, we had the candles, and you told me about the flame...about how you know the temperature from the colours…”

“You asked me so many questions…no one ever asked me questions about flame temperatures before, at least, not outside of work and not since I was a Probie...didn’t we end up watching one of those films which make your TV look like a fireplace because you wanted me to tell  you what I saw when I looked at the flames?”

“Si...and that is how I learned that to you the colour of my present wasn’t orange, it was a flame that was elev…”  Carina’s explanation was interrupted by her yawn.

“...eleven hundred degrees fahrenheit, which didn’t mean anything to you until I told you it was what logs for a regular fireplace generally burned at round here because of the type of wood people get.”  Maya lifted her head up so she could look at Carina properly, ignoring the pull she felt in her muscles at the strange position she was pushing her neck into.  “...and that made you think of Christmas?”

“Si, chestnuts roasting on an open fire, it would be that sort of fireplace you were talking about?”

“Yes.”   Maya let her head drop back onto the pillow, finding the angle of her head and where Carina’s head was made her feel like she was going cross eyed.

“See, festive.”

“Very festive,” agreed Maya, feeling Carina snuggling down into her body again, though Maya hadn’t been overly conscious of her girlfriend un-snuggling in the last few minutes, not that she cared.  For someone who’d never been at all interested in snuggling before, Maya had discovered it was basically impossible for Carina to be too snuggly, or did she mean snuggled up?

“What’s festive?” asked Amelia quietly, attracting Maya’s attention enough that she turned her head towards her, but Carina stayed where she was, too comfortable and sleepy to move.  “And can we come in?”

“Sure…”  Maya made no attempt to encourage Carina to move off her, having decided that it was up to Carina how easy or difficult she wanted to make it for Amelia to put the line into her arm or hand.

“Si Amelia, but I’m not moving.”

“Good.”  Amelia sat down on the edge of the bed in the space where Carina’s legs would have been if they weren’t mostly tangled up with Maya’s.  “You’re not stiff as a board anymore.  And I meant board like a backboard for spinal injuries, not bored like boring.”

“Ah.  My bra.”  Carina moved her hand away from Maya’s badge and let her arm rest against her hip, which she guessed from where Amelia’s voice was coming from, had to be within reach of her friend.

“Excuse me?”

“You asked what was festive,” explained Maya when it became clear Carina was not really up for conversation anymore and, as Maya had hoped she would do, was actually prepared to attempt to relax enough to fall asleep.  “And you’ll just have to trust me when I say she was answering your question.”

“Ah.”  Amelia was about to say something else when she saw Carina’s eyes had slipped shut.  “Carina?  I know you want to sleep, but I need you to stay awake for one more minute.”

“Si Amelia, you can give me the IVs from Bailey…”  she lifted up her right arm from her side and waved it in the air a bit.

“Think that’s a hint…” suggested Maya, determined not to laugh because it would only nudge Carina back towards being more awake again.

“Si, grazie Amelia...Ti amo bellissima…”

“Don’t worry, I know which bit applied to me,” said Amelia quietly, mostly for Maya’s benefit as she was fairly certain Carina was now fully asleep.  “Are you ok if I…?” she mimed setting up the IV line in Carina’s right arm while she lay sleeping on Maya, fairly certain this was deliberately engineered by Maya given she’d turned them around on the bed and clearly managed to get Carina to relax so she’d actually experience some restorative benefit from sleeping and the fluids.

“Sure…” She waited while Amelia expertly inserted the needle into Carina’s arm, murmuring nonsensical noises when she felt her girlfriend shift a little in reaction to the needle.  Once the line was taped in place, she tangled her fingers with Carina’s, partly because it meant she’d be able to stop Carina accidentally pulling on the IV if she moved in her sleep, but mostly because she wanted to hold her girlfriend’s hand. “...I’m not going anywhere.”

And, to her own surprise, she discovered she meant every word.

Chapter Text

“You want some lunch?”

“Mmm…”  Maya joined Andy by the pot she was stirring, recognising it was the minestrone Carina had taught Emmett to make earlier in the shift.  “Guess I missed breakfast?”

“Kinda.”  Andy studied her best friend with a critical eye, knowing better than to ask Maya if she’d actually slept while she’d been keeping Carina company.  “How is she?”

“Better.”  Maya glanced around the Beanery, noting the lack of anyone else there at that moment.  “Slept through Ben and I taking the IV out, but then woke up to tell me my stomach was too loud and to go get food.”  Maya stretched her arms and shoulders, trying to shake the stiffness that lying perfectly still with Carina lying on top of her had caused.

“Your stomach can be loud…” agreed Andy, deciding the soup was hot enough and the pasta she’d added was cooked properly.  “...must have been really loud if it woke her though.”

“Not really…”  Maya passed Andy the bowls that were clearly waiting for the soup to be dished up into them, thinking it was a strange thing for Andy to say.  “...oh, I wasn’t at my desk.”

“No?”  Andy had assumed, when she’d suggested Maya stay with Carina, knowing Carina’s past unease at being in the Captain’s bunk on her own, that her friend would catch up on her reports and paperwork at the small desk in the bunk while keeping Carina company.

“No...she was asleep on me.”

“All this time?”  Andy looked past Maya at the wall clock, eyes widening when she realised that it had been just over three hours since Amelia had confirmed to Andy that the first IV was now running and Maya was definitely out of commission for all but the biggest of calls.  She’d never known Maya to manage to spend that long lying on her bunk in one go, ever.  “You alright?”

“I’m not sick,” reassured Maya, knowing what Andy’s first thought would be.  “And I didn’t sleep, I just...was.”  She frowned, not sure if she was making any sense to herself nevermind Andy.

“Yeah?”  Andy smiled at her best friend then deliberately returned her attention to putting the soup into the bowls, deciding it was better not to be too enthusiastic about Maya’s atypical stillness.

“Yeah.  It was…”  Maya picked up the bowls and took them over to the table, then came back for the silverware and glasses of water Andy had sorted out.  “...not as weird as I’d thought it would be.  Where’s everyone?”

“Engine and Aid Car are still out on that last call,” began Andy, dumping the pot in the sink and filling it with water so it could start soaking while they ate.  “I’m on Ladder with Warren and  Montgomery.  They’re playing pick up with Joey and Tuck.”  Now Andy had mentioned the game going on, Maya could identify the sound on the basketball bouncing and the occasional shout as they played.  “I was going to bring the soup down to your office in a minute, the boys brought pizza - the basketball was a Christmas present I think.”

“Thanks.”  Maya began to eat the generous portion, not having really noticed how hungry she was until Carina had objected to her stomach’s noises.  “How’s Emmett?”

“He’s alright I think.  Decided it was better to keep him away from the desk for a bit though.  Hughes was being good with him so before this current call we shuffled everyone again and put her on Aid Car with him.”

“Really?”  Maya hadn’t expected that combination to work, but was pleased Andy had found a way of getting him some support.

“Jack’s idea, remembered she’d had a couple of tougher walk-ins over the years, plus, well, I thought it best if he wasn’t around Robert.”  Andy, as Robert’s wife, didn’t always have quite the same feelings about some of what had happened when he was Battalion Chief as Andy, as Station 19’s Lieutenant did.  As his wife, she was incredibly grateful to Emmett for finding him that day and ultimately saving his life, but as the Lieutenant, she still occasionally had moments when she wasn’t quite fully in control of the anger she felt about the whole situation, invariably towards the end of long shifts when she was tired.

“I should talk to him.”

“At some point, yeah, but not right now.”  

Andy paused with her spoonful of soup half way to her mouth when she saw the sharp look Maya shot her, regretting not finding a slightly different way of putting her point.  “What I mean is, at the moment he’s still in the ‘but I should have done more’ space, and part of that is making him feel really guilty about how little help he was to Carina and what she must think of him…”  Andy put her spoonful of soup back in her bowl and raised her finger slightly in Maya’s direction, cautiously suggesting her Captain let her finish.  “...which we both know, and Vic knows, is not at all what he should be thinking right now, nor something Carina would approve of if she knew either.  But there’s no point trying to talk him out of it now, because the only person he’ll believe it from is Carina, who he isn’t ready to hear it from yet.”  Andy stirred her soup, giving Maya an opportunity to throw some spikey blasts of temper at her if she was so inclined, but there weren’t any, so she continued.  

“Right now, the best thing you can do for this Station is what you’re doing, which is making sure they all get to see Carina is fine, wish her a Happy Christmas and try to trap you and her under the mistletoe when our shift finishes.”

Andy watched Maya eat a couple of mouthfuls of her soup in confused silence, prompting Andy to have a think about another way she could explain it so her friend might get her point.

“What if it was Bailey?”

“What if what was Bailey?”

“What if the doctor who’d been here with Emmett was Bailey?  What would you have done after the babies were delivered?”

“I…”  Maya ate another two spoonfuls of soup, but this time it was a thoughtful silence accompanying her eating as she gave serious consideration to Andy’s question.  “...would have taken Ben off shift and let him decide whether he wanted to get her to rest up here or at their house.”

“Not Grey-Sloan?”

“If he wanted that sure, but I can’t see Bailey being an easy patient in those circumstances.”  Maya drank half her glass of water, finally unable to understand why Andy was smirking.  “What?”

“Why give him the option of here at the Station?”

“Not scare Tuck and Joey?  I don’t know, it just...seems like the right thing...feels a bit wrong to throw her out in the middle of the shift after she’s done a Still Alarm.”

“Why?”

“Andy…”

“I’m serious Maya, why does it feel wrong?”

“Because…”  Maya went to drink the rest of her water, but the glass stilled halfway to her mouth and, after a beat she put it back down on the table.  “...because that’s not how you treat family, and because I’d worry that she’d not rest up and their Christmas be ruined because of it.”

“Here…”  Andy took her phone out of her pocket and, unlocking the screen, found the video she’d taken earlier then passed it to Maya.  “...watch it, with the sound up.”

Andy ate her soup while a grumpy Maya, who knew that there was little point trying to argue with her best friend when she spoke in that tone of voice, watched the video.  By the end of it, she was blushing and fidgeting with nerves, never comfortable watching herself in recordings.

“If that wasn’t you, but any Captain, what would you think their team meant with all that noise?”

Sometimes Andy worried she was treating Maya a bit too much like a small child when she had to spell out some of the emotional, family-type stuff that she was now much more integral to as the Captain, but then she’d see Maya frowning and chewing her lip as she tried to work out the answer like it was an exam and remember that for all her own problems growing up, she had at least known what family felt like, albeit from Uncle Snuffy and Uncle Charlie as much as from her Dad.  For Maya, trying to get her head around when to recognise the importance of family mattering to others and how she played a role in that as Captain, she really had no frames of reference or memories to draw on except the ones she was making right now, as Captain of 19 and as Carina’s girlfriend.

“That...that they liked their Captain and approved of the person joining the family.  That it was someone they properly wanted to be a part of the family, not just...tolerate to stay on their Captain’s good side.”

“We want to go home at the end of this shift knowing, as a family, that we are safe and well.  That?”  Andy leaned over and pressed play on the video  again, watching it upside down, smiling at how happy Maya looked when she was kissing Carina, how happy Carina was...and how oblivious they were to the noisy counts and cheers from the team.  “That’s us telling you both how important you both are to this family.”  She sat back up straight and picked up her spoon again.  “How much we want both of you in it.”  She ate a mouthful of the soup, making a mental note she really needed to get Carina to give her the recipe in the New Year.  “The best way you help Probie and the rest of us right now is by being Carina’s Maya.”  Andy took another mouthful of soup and looked towards the far end of the table, where the puppies could be heard making little snuffling snoring sounds in their box.  “Plus everyone is really keen for me to give my answer to Carina’s question to Carina at the end of shift.”

“What question?”  Maya followed Andy’s gaze when she gave a pointed nod, seeing the puppies.  “Oh, that question.”  She ate the last of her soup then pushed the bowl to one side, rather disappointed there wasn’t any seconds.  “I’d assumed you’d already answered it.”

“You were thinking about names weren’t you?” teased Andy, picking up their bowls and taking them over to the sink.

“No.”  Maya stood up and went to help Andy with the washing up.  “Well yes, but of the babies not the puppies.”  Seeing Andy’s surprised look, Maya put her watch on the window sill and began to wash the dishes.  “I assumed the team would want to call the puppies something fire related and thought I’d let Carina pick.”  Probably the silver lining of a childhood singularly lacking in sentimentality - she’d never been in the habit of naming things, never really considered how special giving something a name was supposed to feel.  “I spoke to Teddy Altman earlier, when Carina was delivering the second one.”  Maya put the two soup bowls on the draining rack and began to tackle the pot.  “I told her about the cap.”

“Oh?  How did that come up?”

“She asked me what I’d done to make Carina float on Cloud 19.”  Maya grinned, remembering something else the surgeon had said.  “And apparently your 100 days thing with Robert had a Grey-Sloan nickname.”

“It did?”

“Amelia’s Abstinence Approach to Addition Management.  Bailey had opinions on it.”

“She wasn’t the only one…” muttered Andy, only to see what her friend was doing.  “...hey, stop changing the subject, especially as you were the one to bring up Teddy and the cap, how did she even get you talking about it?”

“Sorry.  Do you remember that day I was at Headquarters dropping off paperwork and got dragged into that school tour?”

“Yeah, didn’t you have the Cadet promising to owe you like a million favours?”

“Something like that.  I ended up with one of the plain caps, found it in the Ladder earlier and gave it to Teddy.  She asked me about Carina’s cap - she’d seen it earlier when she’d seen the puppies…”  Andy knew about the call Teddy had with Carina, as it was how she’d found out about the puppies, so nodded for Maya to continue.   “Ended up telling her about giving the cap to Carina and how the babies get caps too.”

“You gonna go in and visit them?”

“I was thinking about it.”  Maya lifted the now clean pot out of the sink and held it up so as much of the water drained off it immediately as possible.  “Teddy said she was keeping the brother in for 48 hour observation because of whatever the heart thing was she treated here, and the mother would be at least a couple of days too because of the C-section.”  She put the pot down on the draining rack and stuck her hands back in the water, finding the spoons and pulling the plug so the sink would drain.  “Seemed like it would be a nice distraction for them to do the caps there.”

“With the bears?”  Andy was trying to remember where they got the bears from, but all she could remember was her Dad had taken Pru’s cap round to her because they’d been waiting on a name and then they’d been hit with the big accident at the bike trail and he’d stepped in.  “I can’t remember where…”

“To get the bears?  Teddy’s texting Carina.”  Maya laughed at Andy’s face.  “Yeah, that would have been my reaction too, but I remembered she’s got like one and a half kids.”

“How do you have half a kid?”

“It’s complicated and I think…” Maya tried to remember what Carina had told her one night when they suddenly found themselves about to arrive at a Grey-Shepherd combined extended family sleepover, but the details were hazy.  “...it’s something to do with the guy she may or may not be marrying having a foster son.”  For someone who’d barely paid any attention to the personal lives of her own colleagues, and tried very hard to not have a personal life for others to be interested in, it was still quite a struggle to keep track of the Grey-Sloan drama that seemed to swirl around Carina’s friends and colleagues, but she was trying.  And slowly getting used to others being interested in her and Carina.  Slowly.  “But it does mean she knows where to buy stuffed bears.”

“Sounds like you had a good talk with her,” said Andy noncommittally, not wanting to put pressure on Maya to share anything given she was already well past the point at which Andy normally started trying to shift the conversation away from highly emotional or personal subjects for Maya, knowing how hard they still were for her friend.

“Yeah.  Do you think I’d be able to get the bears tomorrow?”

“It’s a Saturday right?”  Andy checked her phone, having like Maya, completely lost track as to the day of the week.  “Sure, at least, between us all we should.  Jack’s got a baby-named-after-who pool going which should give a fair chunk of the money for the bears.”  Andy saw her friend’s face start to shift towards a slightly more closed expression and mentally kicked herself.  “He wanted to ask you for your pick but I told him not to as you were in the shower when he was doing it.  And by the time Robert was picking we’d kinda run out of options.”

“I’m not sure I could have played anyway, I already know what their first names are.”  Maya dried her hands and put her watch back on.  “Do you think Probie would like to come with me on Sunday before our next shift and hand them over?”  Maya looked at her feet as she shoved her hands in her pockets.  “I was going to ask you to come with me, you know I’m no good at this sort of thing, but thought maybe it might help him?”  She looked up nervously at her best friend.  “What?  You think it’s an awful idea, I know, I’m…”

“An excellent Captain, it’s a great idea.”  Pot dry, Andy dried her own hands and leaned against the counter.  “And of course I’ll come with you.”  She smiled when she saw Maya’s shoulders relax.  “I might have already asked Probie if his dress uniform was clean.”

“What?”  Maya’s face quickly transformed into a look of horror.  “Oh god, really?”  She saw Andy’s nod and groaned, realising her friend was right.  “I’d forgotten about that bit…”

“Has Carina seen you in it yet?”

“No, why would she....oh.”  Suddenly the full significance of what she’d been thinking about hit her.

Dress uniform.  At Grey-Sloan.  With teddy bears.

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m a solution to a really weird game of Clue?”

Ladder 19…

“Go…” sighed Maya, grinning in spite of everything, knowing the alarm had saved her friend from an impossible answer.

Picking up an apple and the last remaining banana, she decided to head back to her bunk, grabbing a couple of bottles of water from the fridge as she went past as unlike Carina she needed to rehydrate the less dramatic way, only to pause and double back to pick up the puppies bed-box.

Sure, she should probably be doing paperwork if she wasn’t out at the scene, but she was mostly caught up and it was Christmas Day...and they were cute.

Still not as cute as Carina, but cute nonetheless.

“Just so you know puppies,” she said conversationally as she set off down the stairs with them, seeing that the alarm had woken them up but they were looking fairly content and not too stressed out by the recent noise. “Since you’re going to grow up bilingual, no matter how cute you are, remember, I’m the one she means when she says baciami.”

Chapter Text

“Ahia…”

“Hey.”  Maya closed the lid of her laptop when she heard her girlfriend start to wake up.

“Mmm…”  Out of instinct, Carina pulled the pillow that smelled like her girlfriend into her and opened her eyes sleepily.  “...eh?”  She blinked, frowning in confusion as she started to look around.  “I...was the other way?”

“Yes.  Do you remember telling me to take my noisy stomach for a walk?”

“That was not a dream?”  Carina pushed the pillow she’d been hugging aside and had a stretch, completely missing the look of open adoration that settled on Maya’s face.

“No.”  Maya cleared her throat and willed herself to concentrate on her girlfriend’s conversation, rather than, well, the rest of her girlfriend.  “So I went and had some of your minestrone with Andy…”

“Si?  But it is Probie’s zuppa.”  Carina looked a bit disgruntled when she realised what her girlfriend was doing.  “My memory is fine Maya.  I know I came to wish you Buon Natale, then you had a call and I met the puppies and Emmett made the soup.”  She stretched again, spotting the cap which was hanging on the end of the bedhead.  “Then you gave me my new hat…”  She reached out for it and pulled it on, grinning as she remembered what then happened.  “...and il bacio with the turning…”  Her smile slipped a bit as a thought occurred to her.  “...the alarm, it stopped the turns at five?”

“Yeah, but five’s two more than three.”

“But more turns is more good luck?”

“I guess…”  Maya remembered watching the video Andy had taken and saw she’d actually been very slow at doing the turns.  “...but I don’t think it really matters, I kinda forgot and did really slow ones.”  She shrugged, nearly tipping her laptop off her lap in the process, so she grabbed it with one hand and dumped it behind her on her desk.

“Si?  Did Andy tell you that?”  Maya’s movement drew Carina’s attention to something else that was different to when she’d last been awake, but she decided to not comment about it just yet.  Instead, she took the cap off and put it on the bed.

“Ah, no, she showed me….she recorded it on her phone.  She’s gonna send it to us later.”

“Bene.”  Carina didn’t have all that many pictures of her girlfriend, who was incredibly difficult to get to relax in front of any camera, so she was accustomed to having to rely on someone else, usually Andy or Travis, taking pictures and sending them to her.  “I’m glad you didn’t spin us quickly.”  Carina rolled onto her back and looked at the ceiling to distract herself from, well, being distracted.  “But you were going to tell me how I turned around?”

“Was I?” teased Maya, playfully nudging her girlfriend’s blanket covered knee with her sock clad foot.  

“Si.”

“Well, when I got back from taking my noisy stomach for a walk, I turned you around so that you didn’t wake up and complain about my feet.”  She nudged Carina’s leg with her foot again, making her point.  Had she not turned Carina around, her feet would have been resting against her girlfriend’s chest, which didn’t feel either romantic or hygienic.

“Grazie bella.”  After another satisfying stretch, Carina turned back onto her side, deciding she had the mental fortitude to look at her girlfriend again.  “What time is it?”

“Almost five.”

“Eh?”

“You feeling better?” Maya lifted her feet down from the bed.  When she’d come back from eating lunch, she’d not been able to face trying to lie down in her bunk - she’d probably already spent longer lying on the bed this shift than in the rest of the month in total, so she’d kicked off her boots and, after turning Carina around so her head was back at the wall end of the bed, she’d sat on the chair and, using the bed as a footrest, got on with some work.

“Si…”  Carina looked down at her arm, remembering agreeing to Amelia putting in the IV, but seeing no needle.  Was that another weird dream?  Running her tongue around her mouth made her doubt it, as while her mouth felt a bit dry and fuzzy, it was nothing like as bad as it would have been if she’d slept the day away without any fluids.

“You slept through Ben switching out the first bag of fluids.  When the second one finished I took the line out for you.”

“And I still slept?”

“Mostly…”  Maya’s cheeks coloured slightly.  “I might have had to distract you with a kiss or two…”  Sleepy Carina was an affectionate Carina, and when the pinch of the needle leaving her arm roused her slightly, she’d immediately recognised what she was sleeping on and had presumed it was Maya trying to get out of bed that had disturbed her.  At which point she’d done what she always did, even though it was very rarely successful, and tried to keep Maya in bed so she could sleep more.

“That I also dreamt…”  Again Carina looked a little down at the memory.  “...in my dream I was so proud that I ‘won’ and you stayed in bed and I could sleep some more.”

“You dream about sleeping?”

“No, I dream about lying with you,” corrected Carina, now deciding she was ready to address the l'elefante nella stanza.  “When is it my turn bella?”

“Your turn?”  Carina’s question completely confused Maya.

“Si, my turn.”  She nodded towards Maya’s chest where, held securely against her front, tucked up together inside their Santa hat sleeping bag, were two sleepy puppies.

“Oh, of course…”  Maya stood up and lifted the puppies away from her with both hands, holding them out for Carina to hold.

“No Maya…” sighed Carina with impressive patience, a gentle smile on her face as she marvelled at her incredibly brilliant girlfriend’s ability to, what was the phrase?  “...you have the other end of the rod.”

“End of the rod?”

“Piece of the rod?”

“Oh, wrong end of the stick?”

“Si, you have the wrong end of the stick.”  Carina pushed herself up into a sitting position on the bed.  “I was not talking about holding the puppies bella.”

“Oh.”  Maya looked at the puppies, then back at Carina, her arms frozen between them, not sure what else her girlfriend could have been talking about.  “Right, yes, it was a crazy idea…”

“Bellissima…” sighed Carina, clambering across the bed so she was sat on the edge of it, able to reach out and give the puppies’ heads a scratch.  “...so many sticks…”

“Huh?”

“You have the wrong end of another stick.”

“Oh.”  

“The puppies are very cute, I like them very much and yes, I still am very happy to have them become ours so they can grow up with your firefighters.”

“Ok...that’s good, if you’re really sure?”

“Si, I am really sure bella.  And I will enjoy holding them very much, but not right now.”

“Oh, but you asked when it was your turn…”  

“Si bella…”  Carina took hold of the puppies in the Santa hat and lifted them out of Maya’s hands, then stood up and put them carefully in their box-bed, which was sitting on the end of the desk, next to where Maya had put her laptop.  “...I meant my turn with you.”  She sat down on Maya’s lap and began to tease the soft, short but not really short hairs at the nape of Maya’s neck.  “Baciami?”

Maya laughed, wrapping her arms around Carina’s waist so she didn’t slip off her lap.

“What’s the joke?”

“I need to take my own advice.”  Maya leaned in, delighted to comply with Carina’s request, only for her girlfriend to pull back.

“Explain?”

“When I brought the puppies down here, after lunch, I told them they’d grow up to be bilingual, but that no matter how cute they were, they were to know that when you said ‘baciami’ you were talking to me,  not them.”

“Si, that is good advice, you are right.”

“What?”  Maya was studying Carina’s face, searching for any lingering hints of excessive exhaustion or pain, relieved when she saw just ‘ordinary’ tiredness.  She knew that, despite the sleeping and the fluids, Carina would still be tired and, when they got home in hopefully no more than a couple of hours, she’d be ready for something to eat and then the early night that Maya knew she needed after her 48 hour double shift.

Carina raised her eyebrow and smirked, waiting for Maya to catch up.

“Oh!  Baciami!” 

Finally, she’d got the right end of the right stick.

“You ready?” asked Carina, emerging from the Captain’s Bunk once more dressed in her own clothes.

“Yes.”  Maya put her pen down as her desk phone rang, causing her to groan.  “No, go, I’ll catch you up.”

“Va bene bella.”  Blowing her girlfriend a kiss, Carina picked up the puppies’ box-bed and left the Captain’s office, knowing Maya would follow her up to the Beanery as soon as she was done with her call.

“Oh, Buon Natalie Doctor.”

“Graz…”  She started to reply automatically in Italian before she registered two things: the first was she didn’t recognise the voice and the second?  The pronunciation was worse than her girlfriend’s.  “...ie.  Oh, hello.”

“Sorry Dr DeLuca, didn’t mean to surprise you.”  Finch pulled off his thick winter gloves and shoved them in the pockets of his snow-jacket.  “Did I get that right?  It was supposed to be Happy Christmas.”

“Ah, si...almost, it is Buon Natale, no ‘eye’ sound.”

“Buon Natale.”  He paused, seeing her smile and nod, causing him to break out into a grin that made Carina think of Andrea when he’d first managed to ride his bicycle without the support wheels.  “Oh, excuse me.  Let me take that for you?”  He reached out, offering to carry the box for her.

“Thank you.”  As she passed him the box, she had to admit defeat.  “Scusa, I recognise your face but your name? It is gone.”

“Finch, Doctor, from B Shift.”  He glanced into the box he was now holding, seeing the two puppies in the Santa hat that Hughes had messaged them all about earlier.  Looking back up at her, he caught sight of the flash of red on the back of the SFD cap she was still holding.

“Ah, yes.  Congratulations.  And my apologies, it is easy to be forgetful about names when it is on our clothing all the time.  My patients are the same.”

“Not to worry Ma’am.  Congratulations?”  He looked a little lost as he spoke, then realised she must be talking about her Doctor’s coat which had her name stitched on it he guessed, remembering the coats he’d seen on the doctors at Grey-Sloan last time he’d worked an Aid Car shift.  But that mystery resolved still didn’t solve all his confusion.

“Your exams?  You did pass your Lieutenant’s exams no?  Oh, it wasn’t a secret was it?”

“Oh, no Ma’am.”  His grin returned but his feet turned inwards, making Carina realise he was clearly unused to being congratulated.  “It isn’t a secret, I just didn’t think you would know.”

“Si, Maya, I mean Captain Bishop is very pleased.  I know you worked hard for them, I was…”  She knew there was a phrase that she’d heard Teddy use to encourage one of the Interns that had a difficult presentation to get through last week, to do with plants?  “...digging for you?”

“Er...rooting for me?”

“Ah, thank you.  American idioms and I do not always make good friends with each other.”  She gestured that she had been planning to go upstairs to the Beanery, and he took a few steps towards the stairs with the puppies.  “So I should call you Lieutenant Finch now yes?”

“Oh no Ma’am.”  He turned slightly as he was walking up the stairs so he could continue you talk to her without presenting his full back.  “I’m still just Finch.  To be a Lieutenant you need to pass the exams and get assigned to a station at that rank.”  He reached the top of the stairs and waited for her to catch up.  “The exams is the first part, but I might get to act as a Lieutenant for part of a shift sometimes, if the Captain agrees, if that makes sense?”

“Ah, to get the experience?  Yes, it is the same with doctors - I have to try to remember to give my interns the right amount of difficult…thank you, yes there is good.”  She followed him over to the Beanery table where he was putting the puppies down, watching as he looked in the box and then tentatively reached out to scratch their heads.  “They are good at sleeping.”

“That will change, thank you.”

“Cosa? Sorry, I mean why are you thanking me?”

“For agreeing that the Captain could adopt the puppies.”  He smiled shyly, suddenly realising he’d told her something she didn’t know.  “Hughes texted us all a couple of hours ago?  That we’re getting these guys as Station dogs when they’re bigger?”

“Si…”  Still slightly confused, Carina heard footsteps behind her and saw reflected in the window it was Andy.  “Andy!”

“Yes Carina?  Oh, hey Finch, Happy Christmas.”  Whereas the relationship between A and B shift had been incredibly strained for most of Andy’s career, and was especially tense around the time of Vasquez’s death and the whole Jack-breaking-the-code thing with Vasquez’s wife, in the last few months the relationship between the two shifts had improved, as had the relationships between all the shifts.  Now, while there weren’t the close friendships between the shifts that were present between the members of A shift, they did all manage to coexist in a friendly rivalry and, when they individually subbed for each other across the shifts, the banter was kind and funny rather than mean and cruel.

“Happy Christmas Lieutenant.”

“You said yes?  To the puppies?”

“Oh, yes.  Wait, didn’t you know?”

“No.  Mr Finch said Vic had texted them?”

“Oh, right.  I told Vic I wouldn’t say no…”  Andy looked worried, concerned in case after everything they’d bounced Carina into something that wasn’t fair.  “...and it’s just Finch.”

“Cosa?”

“No Mister, right Finch?”

“Right Lieutenant.”  He’d not had the confidence to correct Dr DeLuca when, in acknowledging she wasn’t to call him Lieutenant, she’d called him ‘Mr Finch’ instead, so was glad they’d met Herrera.

“Va bene e grazie.” Carina’s ‘good manners replies’ defaulted to Italian whenever she was thinking about something else at the same time, which in this case was trying to piece together how her day had passed given the time on the wall clock, before giving up.  “I just...missed a lot of the day if the next shift is already arriving.”

“Yeah...wait.”  Andy looked at the clock on the wall and cross-checked it with her watch, then turned to look at Finch.  “You guys are coming in early…”  She’s just seen two other members of B shift in the lockers, and there was still another 70 minutes of the A shift’s double to go.

“I suggested we try and get in so the Captain could let you guys go a bit early…”  He glanced at Carina before then looking at Herrera, finding it easier to talk to her than the Doctor.  “...or at least get you to tell us about these guys and the Station’s new twins on your shift not ours.”

“That we can do, though for the twins you need Probie and the Doctor to tell the story, not us.”

“It’s not much to tell,” shrugged Carina, not sure that there was all that much to say beyond ‘yes, twins were born in the barn’.  

“For the doctor who delivered what, thirteen Christmas babies between yesterday and today?” teased Andy, deciding Carina deserved B Shift knowing quite how busy she’d been.

“Ah, no…if you count Christmas babies as 24 and 25 December it is…”  She closed her eyes and tried to picture the charts she’d signed off.  “...si, sedici.  I had another delivery just after midnight on Christmas Eve and then two emergency C-sections before I could go home.”  She opened her eyes and continued to count.  “Then eleven on my Christmas Eve shift and the two here.  Eleven, two and three, yes, sixteen babies with a Christmas Birthday.”  She shrugged, not finding it quite as startling as the two firefighters.  “It is my job, and I had no Resident, so..”  She mimed pushing up her sleeves, suggesting she didn’t exactly have much choice but to get on with it.  “...though I did not like barn echo, that gave me a headache.”  

“I’m not surprised,” said Finch, struggling to wrap his head around the fact that in the last two days she’d delivered 16 babies.  He wasn’t sure he’d treated that many pregnant people in his career, and certainly had never had a delivery.

“Tell me, the twins, do they have names?”

“Yes, NICU gave Probie the names when they were admitted, and I think he’s now got a couple of pictures too.”  

At the last Aid Car call he and Hughes had taken a five minute break and asked if they might have a picture or two of the babies to show the rest of the shift.  While they weren’t allowed into the nursery to see them, one of the nurses that had gone out to 19 with Bailey and the others had gone and asked Naomi who’d immediately agreed.  With due ceremony, Emmett’s phone had then been taken into the nursery by the nurse and some photos taken.

“But you don’t know them?”

“Ah, not yet.  We did a pool for who’d they be named after, we were waiting for the end of shift so you and the Captain could find out too, once we knew you didn’t know them.”  Andy looked at Finch.  “B shift too since you’re here.”

“Sounds good.”  He looked at his watch, seeing how much time had passed talking with the Doctor.  “1720 work for your team Lieutenant?”

“Should do, Carina?”

“Si...Maya was coming up but…”

“...but I’m here now.”  

Maya appeared at the top of the stairs - her original phone call had been a wrong number, and she’d almost caught Carina up by the front desk, but she heard Finch’s tentative greeting in Italian and paused in her office, taking the opportunity to see how B shift’s unofficial ring leader behaved with Carina.  He’d gone from being an absolute thorn in Maya’s side to a quietly solid leader of a very disgruntled shift that, once she’d taken a few deep breaths and given them all a good shake (with lots of support and brilliant ideas from Carina), had seen a couple of bad apples leave for other Stations and a new team begin to form.  Now he’d passed his Lieutenant’s exams, he might even become the official shift lead in the coming months.  But right at that moment, she just wanted to get a sense of how he reacted to her girlfriend coming out of the Captain’s office.  However, before she could listen for very long, her phone rang again, and this time it was a proper call for her, from Chief Sato, so she’d been delayed a few more minutes.

“Happy Christmas Finch…”  Maya glanced at the reflection of the wall clock, trying to work out how late she was, only to see it was him that was early.

“And to you Captain.  The Lieutenant and I were just talking about you maybe starting the shift handover at 1720?  We’ve come in early…”

“Christmas present?”

“Kinda…”  His face transformed into a soft smile as he looked in on the sleeping puppies.  “...and we wanted to meet these guys, and find out about the twins.”

“Works for me.”

“Thanks Captain, Lieutenant.”  He turned and nodded politely at Carina. “Ma’am.” Then, with a final scratch to the puppies’ heads, headed off to find the rest of his shift and tell them to get their stuff together for the early start, not realising the chaos he’d just unleashed.

“Did he just…” 

Chapter Text

“Call Carina Ma’am?  Yeah.”

“He did not do that before,” agreed Carina, thinking back to the last community event at the Station, which she thought was the last time she’d remembered talking to him.  “He used to call me Doctor DeLuca.”  As she spoke, she moved the cap Maya had given her from her left hand to her right one, and in the process the flash of red from the ‘Station 19’ stitching across the back caught Andy’s eye.

“Oh.”  It was something she’d forgotten about, it being so long since it happened at 19, but from the depths of her childhood, she remembered Uncle Snuffy explaining it to her the first time she properly met Captain Lawrence’s wife.

“What?”

“Don’t hate me…”

“What did you do?”

“Maya…”  Carina put her arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders, not sure what the next piece of news was going to be, but deciding it wasn’t worth her girlfriend’s grumpy side emerging.  “...tranquilla.  What have you remembered Andy?”

“He saw the lettering on the cap…”

“So?  If he’s…”

“Sshh…”  Carina pressed a kiss against Maya’s forehead, trying to will her to have some patience.  “He was very sweet, I do not think it is odiare...ah, hate...so continue please Andy.”

“So I think he saw the lettering and worked out you’d given her the cap Maya.  And you probably don’t know this, because, well, it hasn’t applied to 19 since...since Captain Lawrence...who was like fifty when he was Captain and his wife was older than him...”

“No.”  

Maya had worked out what Andy was saying, and it was not sitting well with her, but Andy hadn’t quite caught onto that, so continued with her explanation.

“Finch was at Station 12 before he was here, you know their Captain’s like one hundred…”

“No.”

“Maya…”  Carina shot a look at Andy as if to say ‘stop talking’ as she tried to understand what was causing her girlfriend to start to breathe too fast.  “...Maya, look at me…”

“Oh god no…” said Maya, her breathing picking up in pace again  as she continued to look at Andy, shaking her head.

“Maya, bella…”  Carina stood between Andy and her girlfriend, gently holding Maya’s face so she turned to look at her.  “...eyes on me yes?”

“Eyes on you…” agreed Maya carefully, her panicked stare locking onto Carina’s eyes and staying locked there as she started to mentally recite the breathing drills they were taught as cadets.

“I’m sorry…” began Andy quietly, not sure what to do but feeling really bad at the reaction it had caused for Maya.

“No…”  Maya shook her head, reaching up and taking hold of Carina’s hands, guiding them down from her cheeks.  “I’m alright…”  She stretched her head forwards and kissed Carina gently, very glad she was there.  “...it’s alright Andy…”  She kissed Carina’s forehead.  “...stop frowning you…” she teased, squeezing Carina’s hands to try and convey that she was fine.  “It’s not Andy’s fault, it’s… Andy, can you explain please?  For Carina?”

“You sure?”

Maya nodded, knowing that Carina’s reaction was going to be probably quite loud and involve a lot of Italian, and that it was better for them to both hear it, together, without the rest of the A and B shifts hearing at the same time.

“Finch, before he was at 19, was at Station 12.  So you know how Maya’s the youngest Captain in the Department?”

“Si…”  Carina’s proud smile was tempered with lingering concern for her girlfriend, who clearly had guessed something that had really alarmed her.

“The Captain at 12 is one of the oldest, and his wife is like twenty years older than him.  My mother, she...was gone by the time my Dad became Captain, so he gave the Cap to me, which was sweet of the team , but not really the same...and Robert was...well, what I’m saying is the last time the Captain of 19 gave the Cap to a partner was Captain Lawrence, whose wife was really sweet, like the perfect grandma to me, and she was older than him by quite a bit too…which is why I forgot and Maya didn’t know, but Finch did.”

“Forgot what?”  Carina looked between the two firefighters, starting to get a horrible knot in her stomach.

“But it’s fine, like it doesn’t need to be followed here right?” said Maya quickly, looking to Andy as her authority on all things SFD tradition.  “I mean, it’s the 21st century, I mean, 19 hasn’t had a female Captain before, that’s got to count for doing things differently right?”

“Right.”  Andy nodded quickly, not liking how pale Carina was looking.  “And I mean, it’s only a thing because you’re, well, both women.  I mean, if it were…”

“If it were you it’d be Robert right?  And they’d not be calling him it…”

“No, I mean, it wouldn’t be anyway because he doesn’t get the Cap…”  Andy saw Maya’s eyes go wide and realised she’d missed Maya’s main point by thinking too specifically.  “...but yeah, totally.  If it was me as Captain, he’d definitely not be…”  

Andy would never give Robert a Station 19 cap because he was already a member of 19, just as when he was no longer ‘Probie’ he wouldn’t give her one because she was already a member of the Station.  But if one of them transferred to another station, which would probably be most likely to be Andy given Robert’s transgressions were going to take a long time to be forgotten by other Stations, as long as it wasn’t a Station Robert had worked at, then she would give him that Station’s cap.  Not that she could ever quite comprehend ever being at another station to 19 though.

“So that’s fine then, I just what?  Say please just call her Dr DeLuca?  Or Carina?  Like you were doing?”

“Yeah…no,,,”  Andy was trying to smile in agreement but they both knew it wouldn’t be that simple.  As Carina had so astutely observed just over twelve hours earlier, firefighters were superstitious.

“Mamma mia, just TELL ME per favore?”  She was sufficiently alarmed that she actually stamped her foot, which would have amused Maya and Andy enough to make them start giggling if they weren’t so worried about how she was going to react.

“Umm, well, you see the tradition is that, well…”

“You know how we tease Ben sometimes by calling him ‘Dad’?”

“Si, because he’s the oldest?”

“Yeah.  Well, the tradition is that, umm…”  Andy was looking in such agony trying to find the words to explain it that Maya couldn’t stand it any more.

“Tradition assumes the Captain’s an old guy married to an equally old lady and so the Captain’s wife was thought of like the ‘Station’s Mom’ and called ‘Ma’am’ out of respect.”

“No.”  Carina backed away from Andy and Maya shaking her hands and head.  “No no no no...Non sono la madre di nessuno. Solo perché sto aiutando le madri ad avere i loro bambini ... no, no, no, no, non sono la madre della Stazione...”

“What are we no-ing?” asked Vic, coming into the Beanery with Montgomery and Miller.  

“And what’s broken Carina?” asked Travis, concerned by the rapid Italian and frantic arm gestures coming from the doctor, wondering whether Emmett’s hitherto unknown Italian skills would help them reboot her back into English.

“Carina was Ma’am-ed.”

“Wait, what?”  Travis’ jaw dropped, then he collected himself, understanding what was happening from something Michael had once told him about that had happened at his station.  “WARREN? GET IN HERE!”  He shouted, then wrapped Carina in a hug.  “No, we’re not doing that, don’t worry, there’s a way out.  It’s fine, it’s gonna be fine, there’s a loophole for right now, and we’re gonna make a Seattle Fire Queers loophole for forever...”

“What’s up? Travis? Carina?”  Ben had been at the lockers, so appeared quickly.

“You’re the Station ‘Dad’.”

“Trav…”

“WARREN, confirm to me you are the Station 19 ‘Dad’.”

“Fine…”  Confused, but seeing that Travis was staring at him with a completely serious glare, and seeing that Carina was genuinely alarmed and Maya looked thoroughly off balance, he shrugged.  “I am the Station 19 ‘Dad’.”

“And you have given Miranda, your wonderful, amazing wife who you love very much the Station 19 Cap?”

“Miranda? What’s she…”  He still had no idea what was going on, but Travis was slightly scary and somehow, Robert, who had run up the stairs from the barn when he’d heard Travis shout, was now standing behind Travis signalling him to just agree.  “Yes, Miranda’s my wonderful amazing wife who I love very much and have given her the Station 19 Cap but I have no idea why I’m saying this to you.”

“Captain? said Robert quickly, knowing what Travis was trying to do, trying not to smile, but guessing from the range of blank and panicked looks on everyone else’s faces that they didn't have any experience of this particular bit of the tradition. “With your permission I’d like to nominate Dr Bailey as the Station ‘Mom’.”  

From a distance, it really was quite funny, but he could appreciate the horror, had vague memories of Luke’s horror when he realised what becoming Captain at 88 meant, but he’d been rather disconnected from the world given it was straight after his first wife’s death.  As the department’s previous ‘youngest ever Captain’ before Bishop, then Captain Ripley had been saved the indignity of having his soon-to-be-ex-wife ‘Ma’am-ed’ in his new Station by a couple of veteren firefighters who knew the ‘Station Dad’ loophole.

Sometimes superstition sucked, and sometimes it was funny, and right now?  With it not being his best friend having the panic attack?  It was kinda funny.

“Wait, what?”

“Seconded,” said Travis quickly.  “And everyone who wasn’t breathing just now take a breath.”  He included himself in that number, and therefore didn’t notice Andy, Carina and Maya joining him.  “Right, who?”

“Who what?”  asked Andy, still looking at her husband with a very strange look on her face that Robert knew meant he should plan on cooking when they got home, and playing her favourite salsa music, having first explained on their way home.  Because while it wasn’t his best friend who’d been thoroughly spooked, it was his wife’s best friend and that was only funny if he wanted to spend the night on the couch.

“Who Ma’amed Carina?” asked Robert, deciding now was an excellent time to try and restore his wife’s faith in him.

“Finch.”

“We’ll sort it, right Robert?”  Maybe it was Travis using Sullivan’s first name, or maybe it was the shell shocked expression on Maya and Carina’s faces, but as quickly as they’d gathered, they all disappeared again, leaving Maya and Carina alone with the puppies.

“Bella?”

“Would you believe me if I asked you to pretend that was just one of those strange American idioms you don’t always understand?”

“No.”

“You won’t be called Ma’am anymore, and it..it wasn’t a mean thing, just..him doing what he thought was the right thing to do, without actually thinking it might be weird.”  

Maya knew it was asking a lot of the older-but-not-old firefighters like Finch, who had quickly had it made clear to them when they were in their first Stations that they would be lucky to make Lieutenant, when they found themselves in a Station with the youngest Captain in the Department’s history, and it being a woman who was in a relationship with a woman to boot.  And to his and the other junior dinosaurs on the other shifts at 19’s credit, they’d generally been fairly decent about it - sure, they’d treated her like shit rather than welcomed her promotion with enthusiasm, but it was an extension of the shit she already got for being A Shift.  In 19, being A Shift had been the bigger crime...it had been with Dixon and elsewhere that her age and gender had been the problem.  And it had turned out to be useful, as it gave her reasons to tackle their behaviour and future careers (or lack of for all but Finch in the end) at 19 head on, and come out the other side with a much more settled station as a result.

“Bene.”  Carina approached Maya again.  “Bella...I…capisco...”  

She caught hold of Maya’s belt loops, harder to do now she was again wearing her belt, and eased their bodies closer together, understanding her girlfriend’s point, remembering just in time that she probably needed to not unbuckle it like she automatically did everytime they kissed in Maya’s office.  In her defence though, the buckle always ended up poking her somewhere she preferred to be ‘poked’ with a little more delicacy and conscious attention from her girlfriend.  

As for accepting the ‘Ma’am’ was an innocuous mistake from ignorant well-intention, she’d been on the receiving end of her fair share of problems from other doctors for a variety of reasons from her research field, professional specialty, age, nationality, looks, gender and orientation to know that was the case here.  She didn’t know how she would be able to explain how she could tell when someone had a problem with her because she was a woman specifically, or someone younger than average, or someone who was not heterosexual...but she knew.

“Yeah…”  Maya wrapped her arms around her girlfriend’s hips and let out a deliberately deep breath.  “...it doesn’t really mean ‘Mom’ like your patients, you do know that right?”

“Si.”  She leaned in and kissed Maya’s cheek, still thinking about everything that had just happened.  “Miranda will be a good ‘Station ‘Mom’’ I think.”

“Yeah, she kind of already is.”  Maya felt Carina’s forehead rest against hers.  “I’m sorry there’s so much weird tradition and superstition stuff.”

“Doctors are just as bad.”  Carina shrugged, wrapping her arms properly around her girlfriend, able to accept that it was an odd moment that had passed and no one, not even Finch, had actually meant anything deliberately weird or rude.  “And some of your traditions are very lovely.”  

“Mmm, they have their moments…” agreed Maya, meeting Carina’s lips with her own and sighing into the kiss, not needing anything more than the feeling of her girlfriend’s lips against her own.

“But perhaps we can save any more for another shift now per favore?” 

“Umm…”  Maya pulled back and looked at Carina, her lip caught between her teeth as she tried to work out how serious her girlfriend was.

“Ma-ya…” warned Carina, not sure she could take any more shocks.

“Is that a no to all traditions or just fire department ones?”

"Tell me." 

Ah. Carina was serious. 

"The only one I know anything about is that Andy mentioned mistletoe, apart from the bears, but that's not going to happen today and I wanted it to be a nice surprise but I forgot about Teddy's text and…" Maya's eyes widened when she found she couldn't move her lips anymore because Carina's were pressed against them. "...mmm?"

Carina relinquished her girlfriend's lips with a fair degree of reluctance, finding the effective way of stopping her girlfriend rambling also required a greater test of her willpower than she really could cope with. 

"Andy told me that there would be mistletoe outside the Station by now."

“She did?”

“Si.”  Carina softly kissed Maya’s frowning lips again.  “Breathe bella, tell me slowly per favore?”

“RIght, yes.”  Maya took a deliberately slow inhale and exhale, smiling by the end of the exhale, then, giving Carina’s hand which at some point she’d started to hold a gentle tug, went and sat down at the Beanery table, neither surprised nor disappointed when Carina immediately sat across her lap.  “So....the mistletoe is something all Stations do for shift change on Christmas Day.”

“Si?”

“Yeah, it, uh, it gets put up just beyond the front door...no one has to walk under it, but the idea is...it’s really rather cheesy.”

“I like cheese.  Continue.”  The large assortment of cheeses permanently in their kitchen now was testament to Carina’s passion for the food item which, Maya had to admit, now she had tried ‘proper cheese’ as Carina had described it, not the ‘weird set milk you Americans call cheese’...her girlfriend did have a point.

“Umm, so back when everyone was a straight white tough guy firefighter, a Station Captain put up the mistletoe outside his Station early on Christmas Day.  For the rest of the day, the husbands and boyfriends being dropped off and picked up by their wives and girlfriends had the option of starting and finishing their shift with a Christmas kiss.” 

“They didn’t the rest of the year?”

“This was when it was still bad luck for a woman to be in the Station unless it was the Captain’s wife.”

“Ah, si.  Because little boys never think of ‘Mom’ as a woman, capisco.”  Carina had long given up trying to understand the toxicity of the male mindset, electing instead to invest her energy in improving knowledge and understanding about women, hence her speciality and research interests.

“Something like that…” Maya didn’t want to dwell on the whole ‘Captain’s wife is Station ‘Mom’’ connection, so continued.  “...anyway, over the years it caught on and now it’s a tradition that every Station does.”  She frowned, running through who was on the shift while she looked over to the kitchen area where, yup, there were the boxes of mince pies and cookies.  “I think Jack said Inara’s coming by with Marcus, Bailey too, and Dean’s sister is bringing Pru.”  She wasn’t sure if Travis and Emmett were ‘on’ or ‘off’ at the moment.  “Andy, Vic and I have a kind of group hug thing we do…”  Maya had never before had ‘family’ visit her on Christmas Day, and never, never had a romantic interest on Christmas before Carina, so as well as it being the first Christmas she was the one putting up the mistletoe, it would also be her first Christmas making proper use of it.

“It sounds like a party?”

“A little bit, no eggnog but there’s mince pies and cookies.”  Maya blushed a little, suddenly shy.  “I’d wanted it to be a nice surprise, but with everything else I kinda forgot to mention it.”  Their original plan had been that Carina, once she’d recovered from her Christmas Eve shift at their apartment, would come down to the Station for the end of Maya’s shift, with Maya hoping that meeting Bailey and the others would have been a nice Christmas surprise.  But then there were puppies and twins and...

“Va bene…”  Carina kissed Maya’s forehead, deciding the mistletoe kiss sounded rather nice.  “...maybe we could try the spinning again no?”  She picked up her cap, which she’d put down on the table when she’d sat down, deciding it was probably not going to cause trouble with the superstition if she put it on Maya’s head (she would never, ever allow it on anyone else’s though).

“Sure…”  Maya laughed, then frowned again, suddenly deep in thought.

“Bella?”

“Probie?” called out Maya, catching sight of Robert reappearing after doing whatever it was he’d just been doing, taking care not to shout straight down Carina’s ear.

“Yes Captain?”

“Can you go see if the front needs sanding?”

“Captain?”  He wasn’t disagreeing, he was just confused -  they’d been driving the rigs in and out of the barn all shift, and not only had they not any issues with ice, they had been making sure it stayed safe with sand and salt.

“Christmas Day shift change...I’d prefer you didn’t slip and drop my Lieutenant?”

“Oh.”

Maya managed not to laugh when she saw the proverbial lightbulb turn on for him, realising she wasn’t talking about the driveway but the footpath up to the station front door which admittedly they all rarely used, generally sticking to the driveway and either entering in through the barn or cutting across to the door at the last second.  But she had an excellent point - he was looking forward to kissing his wife under the mistletoe, and he would prefer not to slip while he was.

“Yes Captain.”

“Oh, and Robert?”

“Yes?”

“You have my permission to move it higher.”

It wasn’t often that he laughed when someone made a joke about his height….but then again, it wasn’t often that the Captain made a joke about hers.

“Cap.”  He nodded, a rarely seen Sullivan grin on his face.  “ Doctor DeLuca,” he added, addressing Carina with a heavy, pointed emphasis on her title, his own quiet acknowledgement that the whole ‘Ma’am’ situation was now dealt with, then set off down the stairs, whistling.

He stuck with Jingle Bells, no matter how tempting it was to whistle the one about Santa Claus being kissed...

Chapter Text

“When did you have time to put the mistletoe up?” asked Carina, deciding that was a station tradition she was delighted to cope with.  Although Andy had told her there would be mistletoe outside as they were leaving and, given everything that had happened this shift, to not be surprised if the team took a bit more of an interest in the Captain’s kiss than they might have otherwise done, the Lieutenant hadn’t explained the larger tradition.

“Just after we’d got you and Naomi into the PRT.”  Maya let go of Carina’s waist so her girlfriend could stand up and claim her own seat, knowing that as much as she might enjoy having her sat in her lap, it was rather pushing the ‘Christmas Day’ relaxation of some aspects of professionalism to do a shift handover like that.  “I was going to tell you afterwards but…”  She shrugged, realising she was still wearing Carina’s cap, and took it off.  “...you know.”  She was about to ask Carina why she’d brought the cap up with her, when she saw Vic hovering so instead waved her over.

“Sorry…”

“It’s fine Vic, I know Maya is still on shift,” said Carina, preparing to go and help Travis with the cookies.

“Oh, no, stay...I mean...”  Vic sat down, wiping her hands on her uniform.  “I do need to talk to the Captain, but you too…”  She nudged the puppies’ bunk-bed with her hand.  “It’s about these guys.”

“Oh?”  Maya had known that Vic was, despite it being Christmas Day, in contact with ‘the Shelter guy’ about the puppies, and she had already made a mental note to ask Andy if that sounded like normal animal charity behaviour or if ‘the Shelter guy’ was the latest person to fall for Vic.

“So you know how I said the Shelter wasn’t able to pick them up until the end of our next shift?”

“Go on…”  Another day, on another topic, and Maya might have made a point about how it wasn’t actually Vic who had told her, but she’d let the Station grapevine break the news to her, but she didn’t.

“So that was before you guys said you were going to adopt them…”  She saw Carina and Maya share a look, which alarmed her.  “...wait, you are still right?  I mean…”

“Si Vic.”  Carina reached out and put a calming hand on her friend’s arm.  “We are looking forward to having the puppies become ours to share with everyone here, but we hadn’t appreciated you knew we were definitely yes.”

“Ah, well, Andy was never going to say no, so that made your question to her a yes by default…”  Vic relaxed again when she saw Maya’s smirk, realising Maya at least had known exactly what would happen when Carina had asked Andy about the puppies so publicly.  “Anyways...when I told the Shelter guy…”

“Does he have a name?”

“Who?”

“This ‘the Shelter guy’?  A name is shorter…” pointed out Carina, already finding the phrase ‘the Shelter guy’ was starting to grate her nerves.  That it was Carina asking not Maya was also a stark reminder to Vic that, for all her apparent energy, the rest and fluids that Carina had managed to get in the last few hours had merely restored her to ‘extremely tired’ from ‘complete exhaustion and physical collapse’.  Vic knew what that felt like -  they’d all been there, and made a mental note to remind everyone not to be too much when they saw Carina.

“Adam.”

“Grazie.  So, you told Adam the puppies have a home in their future and the plan changed?”

“Yes.  There’s a lady who sometimes takes abandoned puppies in for the Shelter, she’s got a dog that’s a really good foster mom to little puppies, she’s going to come by in an hour and take them for us.”

“Why couldn’t this be the plan earlier?”

“She’s moving out-of-state in early March, so had said to Adam she needed to stop taking in puppies a few weeks ago, since she couldn’t relocate with them.  But now they know there’s no risk of them not being adopted, she’s happy to help.”

“This is good news then?” asked Carina, looking between Maya and Vic, not seeing why there wasn’t more excitement and wondering therefore if she’d missed something.

“Yes, very good news,” agreed Vic, chewing on her lip.

“What else?” asked Maya, knowing her friend, and knowing there was something she was, for whatever reason, struggling to say.

“I, umm, well, that is, umm, I need your shirts.”

“Excuse me?” A tiny voice at the back of Maya’s brain was being quietly smug she was an ex-Olympian and therefore blessed with a strong, healthy heart that could cope with massive surges of adrenalin and shocks, as at the rate the curve balls were being thrown at her this shift, she’d probably have had a heart-attack otherwise.  She felt the walls starting to close in however, and her muscles fizzing.

“Maya?”  Carina reached out with her foot and nudged her girlfriend’s leg under the table.

“Hmm?”  

Turning her head slowly, Maya’s startled expression started to lessen when she was looking at Carina - a large part of her anxiety was fueled always by the overly strong sense of what Dr Lewis was trying to help her see was ‘imposter syndrome’, only rather than it being centred on Maya’s professional skills as a firefighter and Captain, she worried she was an imposter in her relationship with Carina, that she’d see Maya really was still broken and leave.  She knew it was irrational, knew it was not grounded in anything real, that Carina wasn’t flighty or fickle like that, but it didn’t stop the gremlins in her brain being devious, especially as there was one piece of ammunition Carina had given them to use, that very early ‘I’m not in the habit of fixing broken people’ statement, which Carina herself had declared as idiotic nonsense spoken in the heat of a disappointed moment - she was a doctor, that was exactly what she did after all.  But while Maya hadn’t yet developed the skills to silence the gremlins before they started playing their devious games, she had managed to get to a place where she could silence them if she nudged her brain to remember Carina’s constancy and love.

“Haven’t you got your Captain’s things to do?  If the shift end is starting early?”

“Huh?”  Maya’s brain, while no longer in freefall, was still restarting, so she wasn’t catching onto Carina’s point when she made it subtly.  Fortunately for Carina though, there was only Vic watching, and Carina had a strong sense that even she was currently trying to imagine the floor could swallow her.

“Bella, go move your hoses from one pile to another or finish a report.”  

She saw her joke about their apparent fixation with moving hoses around between shelves, the floor and the engine and ladder had registered.  No matter how many times Maya explained why it was important they were constantly checking their hoses, Carina still managed to still get her to explain it again at some point in the future.  In truth, Carina did understand the seriousness of the hose maintenance and care, and had done from the very first time Maya had explained it to her, but Maya was so sweet when she was an ‘animated fire nerd’ that Carina couldn’t resist asking questions, and the hoses questions came with the added bonus of being able to think (and sometimes get a demonstration of) her girlfriend’s rather lovely muscles, especially in her shoulders and back.  In fact, it was almost as good as watching her do push-ups…

It was Carina’s turn to give herself a mental shake and lecture, reminding herself she was still very tired despite the rest and IVs, that she needed to be tranquilla, that Maya had worked 48 hours without sleeping, and that she must not think about her girlfriend’s muscles...

“I will talk to Vic about Project Puppy.”

“You know that’s what we called it?”  If Vic was wearing a hat, she would have doffed it to Carina - Travis was right, there was ‘Carina-magic’ and it was awesome.  And also breathe a sigh of relief that they’d not called it ‘Operation Sweet-talk-Carina’.

“Si.”  Carina smiled and nodded as Maya stood up and went towards the stairs, before veering to the gym to talk to Gibson and Miller, knowing her girlfriend had caught on to the direction her thoughts had taken, as the Captain just happened to decide to do some shoulder rotations and stretches as she walked across the Beanery.  “Amelia is very bad at keeping secrets.”

“Ah, well, that makes two of us.”  Vic watched Carina watching Maya thoughtfully, suddenly realising how much the two had gone through in the last 48 hours...and how perfect they seemed to be for each other.

“Why do you want our clothes?”

“I don’t…” Vic rubbed her eyes, her own tiredness starting to catch up with her.  “Can I start again?”

“Si.”

“These guys need to stay with a foster dog mom until they are eight to ten weeks old.  She doesn’t have the milk, but she will teach them doggy manners and stuff.  And they shouldn’t come into the station until they have had their vaccinations at about the same time.”

“Bene.”  So far Carina was following perfectly, so nodded and smiled to encourage Vic to keep going before they both started falling asleep.

“The lady coming to collect the puppies in a bit has the foster dog mom and can look after the puppies for no more than eight weeks, which Adam thinks is long enough to get them ready to move in with you guys and come to the Station.”

“Because they have their manners and their vaccinations?”  Carina frowned.  “What sort of manners?”

“Like how to read other dogs’ body language a bit and know when it’s play and when it’s anger, stuff like that.”

“Ah, si, they must learn that from a mama dog.”

“Right.”  Vic consulted her phone again, where Carina could see she had a very lengthy messaging conversation with this ‘Adam’.  “So when normal puppies leave for their new homes at 10 weeks, they go with a blanket or toy that smells like Mom, so they feel ok in their new place.”

“The foster dog lady will do that yes?”

“Yes, but that is why I need the uniform shirts that you and Maya were wearing when you were holding the puppies.”  Vic locked her phone screen and looked up at Carina, no longer confused.  “Because you so obviously became their new favourite person, Adam and this lady have the idea that they should spend the next few weeks with, well, the smell of you and the foster dog smell.  So that they recognise you when they move in with you both.”  

“Ah…”  That made sense to Carina, at least for the next few days while the uniform shirts carried the scents of the Station on them.  “...but won’t they go…” Her English had started wandering off again. “...weak and not smell?”

“Lose their scent?  Yeah, so we’re kinda hoping you’d like, regularly borrow one of Maya’s t-shirts as a pyjama top or something so the puppies can be reminded.”

“Why not my own?”  Carina wasn’t going to object to something that gave her a legitimate reason to wear Maya’s SFD clothes - she liked trying to steal them to wear, but Maya was convinced it was a bit strange, didn’t understand why it wasn’t and kept taking them back to the Station.

“They have an idea, Adam and foster dog lady, while they’re going to be your dogs, you and Maya I mean, they will need to understand that the rest of us are able to tell them to go to their bed, or feed them or be on poop duty.”

“Si, that is the only way I agreed to them, because they could be here and not in our apartment for hours all alone.”

“Right, so the idea is that the foster dog lady is going to help them recognise our uniform colour as a good thing too.  So the Station isn’t scary for them when it doesn’t smell like you.”

“Capsico...I understand.”  Carina pushed herself up to standing, closing her eyes for a moment when she wobbled a bit.  “I will go and get the shirts before Maya is extra tidy.”

“Extra tidy?”

“Si. Va bene, they are only in her backpack, not the washing.”  She picked up her phone, which at some point she’d put on the table by the puppies, seeing she had a number of messages from Andy.  Opening them she smiled, then, pocketing the phone she picked up the cap and set off to the stairs.

“Carina?”

“Yes Vic?”

“No shame in using the elevator.”  She hadn’t liked how Carina was swaying the first time she’d stood up, but then she seemed to steady.  Still, given everything that had happened in the last however long, the last thing Carina or Maya needed was Carina taking a tumble on the stairs.

“Elevator?”  Carina paused, looking around for it.

“You don’t remember?” asked Vic, concerned, as she caught Carina up and pressed the call button for their rarely used but very useful elevator.

“Ah…”  As the doors opened, Carina did remember the bright lights that had hurt her eyes when she’d been in it with Vic and Amelia on her way to the showers, before Maya caught them up.  “Si.”  She stepped into the elevator and paused, a new thought occurring to her.  “Vic?”

“Yeah?”

“Who decides the puppy names?”

“Oh.”  It felt like it took every last bit of energy Vic had to not break out into a massive grin - Andy had been right, Maya really was a loveable dork at times, but with Carina and the puppies she was totally gone.  “I’ll talk to Andy.”

“Bene.  Grazie.”  

Vic waited until the doors of the elevator were fully closed so there was no way of Carina hearing her, before she finally gave in and let her smile break free.

“Talk to me about what?”

“Bishop being a softie.”

“Specifically?” teased Andy, knowing Vic had been privy to Maya’s immense kindness and generosity over the years of their friendship, just as Andy had.

“Carina just asked how the puppies were going to get their names.”

“And you said…?”

“That I’d talk to you.”

“VIC!”  Andy playfully shoved her friend, shaking her head.

“What?” Vic shrugged, sticking her hands in her pockets and walking over to the kitchen space, intending to steal a cookie while Montgomery was arranging mince pies.

“I already asked Maya…”

“And?”

“She said whatever we come up with she’d let Carina decide on the final one.”

“Really?”  Vic hadn’t been entirely expecting that, but had rather been expecting that while the team might make a load of suggestions, Maya would probably pick whatever Carina suggested.  What Andy was saying sounded a bit...passive?  “Is she really cool with this?”

“With the puppies?”

“Yeah, I mean, we’re joking and stuff about getting Station dogs, but it’s actually all on her…”  Vic, despite being in prime cookie stealing position, wasn’t tempted anymore, her thoughts rather preoccupied with whether her friend genuinely wanted the puppies or whether she was just going along with everyone.

“Do you remember, at the Academy, when you get your first mask and the instructor makes you name it?”

“Yeah, I called mine Mabel.”  She saw Andy’s look.  “Yeah, long story for another day?”  Andy nodded.  “What did you call yours?”

“Elena, my Mom’s name.”  It was Vic’s turn to nod, understanding that their two picks weren’t actually that far apart from each other.

“Tell anyone this and I’ll…”  Andy pulled an angry face and raised a fist, not actually meaning she’d hit Vic, but her meaning was clear - this was a piece of information Vic absolutely had to find a way of keeping.  Vic nodded - yes, she was bad at keeping secrets, but there were secrets and there were the things that were shared and locked away, sacred facts they entrusted to each other that were more fundamental than secrets.  Those, she could handle.  “Maya’s second attempt at a name was Mason.”

“Her brother, makes sense.  Wait, second attempt?”  Suddenly it made sense, why Andy had been quite so insistent about this being the sort of big truth that needed to be protected.

“It took me four beers to get her to accept ‘Mask’ was going to get her in trouble with the Instructor for taking the piss and that she needed to come up with something else.”

“That so would have…” agreed Vic, able to picture with perfect clarity her training instructor who did not appreciate cadets attempting to have a sense of humour.  “...but that’s not Maya’s sort of joke.”  Miller maybe, or Gibson, but Maya?  That didn’t feel right.

“It wasn’t a joke.”  Andy still regretted that she’d not recognised this as the first sign, the first clue that when Maya said she was ‘broken’ she wasn’t self-mocking, but she couldn’t change the past, none of them could.  “She’d never named anything.”

“Wow, ok.”  

Vic had ‘met’ Lane Bishop once, early on, well, met was a strong word, seen him try and get inside Maya’s head outside the station once, but Gibson and Montgomery had moved him on and Andy had taken Maya into her office and...and nothing.  An hour later the alarms went and everyone just carried on.  But when they came back from the alarm, the Station smelled of Lasagne and...and that was the first time Vic had been aware of the ‘Carina-magic’ - Maya ate hers in her office with Carina, the team ate theirs in the Beanery and, by the time the next alarm went, Carina had gone and Maya was Maya again.  And no one said anything about it, no jokes or teasing.  It was exactly what Ben had described to Amelia - there was the stuff that was fair game, and there was...Stuff.  They all had Stuff.  And Vic had just stumbled into a piece of Maya’s.

“She really wants them Vic,” said Andy quietly, aware that the guys from B shift were starting to filter in, wishing each other Happy Christmas and going to say hi to the puppies.  “And she’s really excited about it, just…”

“...in a very Maya way?”

“Yeah.”  Andy waited until Travis had moved away then snatched a cookie, finding it impossible to resist the temptation.  “Even if we don’t get it sometimes.”  She took a bite out of the cookie, chewing it thoughtfully.  “I wonder what Flame and Spark are in Italian.”

“For the puppies?”

“Yeah...it’s what I wanted to call some kittens when I was a kid, well Fuego and Chispa, but Dad…”

“Yeah.”  Vic tried to picture Pruitt Herrera sitting at home with a couple of cats curled up in his lap and… “No.”  She started to smirk, finding something about the mental picture she was failing to paint hysterical.  “I’m sorry, I just…”  She lost her battle with her laughter, which in turn set Andy off, and soon they were both bent over, their hands on their knees, trying to stop laughing.

“What’s the joke?” asked Miller, coming in and seeing Andy and Vic almost crying with laughter as Travis pulled out another tray of warm cookies from the oven,

“Joke?”  Travis had been in a world of his own, humming Christmas songs as he sorted out the food, so was as surprised as Miller was by their laughing friends.  “No clue.”  He paused, tray mid air, counting the cookies.  “Wait, who stole one?”

Chapter Text

“Bella?”  Carina went into Maya’s office, expecting to see her working at her desk, but both the office and the bunk were empty.  However, the door through to the cages they kept their kit in was open, making Carina fairly certain her girlfriend had indeed come down and rearranged hoses.

“Ma…”  Carina stopped when she heard her girlfriend’s voice, realising she wasn’t alone.

“No, remember to use your legs, then your arms…”

Carina moved forwards quietly, wanting to watch her girlfriend in ‘teacher mode’, not yet thinking about who she might be talking to.  Unable to see who Maya was talking to, she saw as her girlfriend squatted down by a pile of hoses and picked up the top one, holding it level with her hips.

“See?  I’m holding it with my arms, so they’re taking the weight of it, but I’m not actually trying to move it with them yet.  Watch where the hose is relative to my hips…”

Carina had to smile when she worked out Maya must have seen something in whoever she was talking to that made her eyes roll and be slightly amused.

“Watch the hose...if I was cross with you I’d be getting Montgomery to show you how this bit is done.”

Ah, realised Carina, Maya must be talking to Emmett if she was teasing him about Montgomery.

“See?”

Carina watched, trying to follow Maya’s instruction like Emmett was supposed to be doing, and saw that despite what it looked like when she lifted the hose at normal speed, now she was doing it at what Carina considered had to be painfully slow speed for the hamstrings and calves, it was obvious that the hose always stayed level with Maya’s hips.  Clearly, despite his anxiety, Emmett had also reached the same conclusion.

“Right, so now you can use your arms, but remember it’s also the back muscles, to get it up to your ribs, the closer the better, which is where you have an advantage over me…”

Carina grinned at the joke, unable to dispute the truth - Maya’s chest was one of her many, many favourite parts of her, and ordinarily she would not accept any criticism of it, but compared to Emmett, if the objective was to hold something close to the ribs, Maya was never going to be as neat.  Clearly Emmett had also managed to find the joke amusing, as she saw her girlfriend smirk.

“And then, and only then is it the arms.”

“Maya?”  Carina decided that now was the moment to admit to her presence.

“Carina! Hey…”  Maya completed her hose lift demonstration for Emmett, doing the dead lift part of the drill where they raised the hose reel from their ribs to above their head, then brought it back down to their rib level again.  Then, and only then, did she walk over to where Emmett was standing, which was out of Carina’s original field of view, and put the hose on the racks.  “...you want to have another go?” asked Maya, pulling the gloves that she’d evidently borrowed from Emmett in the first place off her hands and holding them out to him.

“Err…”  He wanted to say yes, because he now, finally thought he actually understood how to do it right, but Dr DeLuca clearly wanted her for something.

“Do, Emmett, I was only following the voices,” said Carina gently, wondering how well he would respond to Maya’s guidance, but also rather curious as to how he’d been at the station for so many months now and still be struggling with something she knew from Maya was a fundamental part of Academy life.

“Thanks.”  He pulled the work gloves on and walked up to the stack of hoses, Maya staying by the racking.  “So, umm…”  He bent down and tried to mimic her position, getting close to the hoses.

“Not quite…”  Maya came up to him, her lip caught in her teeth as she tried to work out how to explain to him where he was about to go rather wrong.  “...umm…”

“If I may?” offered Carina, realising they were going to be stuck like that in a weird tableau if someone didn’t say something.  Seeing Maya nod, Carina stayed where she was so as to not embarrass them further.  “The disadvantage of being a woman is when objects are held at our chests, there is a bigger distance from our ribs to our wrists because of our breasts.  But the advantage is when we are lifting things between our legs, as our genitals do not get in the way.”  She paused, shaking her head at how both the firefighters were rather red in the face.  “You will be much more comfortable when you do the next part if you give yourself just a little bit of room.”

“Right, of course.”  Swallowing self-consciously, Emmett shuffled his feet back a small amount then checked himself, and yes, Dr DeLuca was right, he was now going to be much more comfortable.

“Better, keep going.”  Maya watched him, giving the occasional pointer or word of encouragement until, a few seconds later, he’d put the hose reel on the racks using a technique she clearly approved of.  “Well done.  How did that feel?”

“Much better.”  He gave his arms a reflex shake, having never before managed to do a hose reel lift drill without ending up with very dead arms, except he didn’t need the shake, his arms felt fine.  “Thank you Captain.  I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?  What for?”  Maya had been about to stop him from picking up the next reel, before having a moment’s pause as she wondered if maybe he was a bit like her, and found thinking and talking easier when combined with doing.

“For letting you down earlier.”  He managed to get the hose reel up to his ribs without needing any correcting pointers from Maya.  “And you Doctor.”  Then he walked over to the reels and, after taking a moment, completed the drill and put the reel on the rack.

“How old are you Emmett?” asked Carina, deciding her inclusion in the apology meant she was entitled to join in the conversation, a conversation she also knew Maya would do better at if she wasn’t herself still full of too much guilt.

“Twenty-seven.”

“And what is your college degree in?”

“Art History.”

“And then you did what?”

“General stuff, then joined the Fire Academy.”  He had no idea why she was asking him these questions, but answering them seemed the best way forward, and it had certainly worked for him so far this shift.

“Bene.  At Grey-Sloan right now, there are no planned Obstetric patient procedures because it is Christmas Day.  Therefore, the service was supposed to be led by one of my Residents, who is currently suffering a very bad hangover for eating cannabis mince pies.  Which means I am, as the Attending, on call when I should be off.  If my Resident had not eaten the mince pies, they would have been at the hospital.  They are…”  She paused, trying to work out their age, “...si, maybe two years older than you, no more than three.  They also have a college degree, like you, and did some ‘general stuff’ as you say, then went to medical school.  They are called Doctor like I am.”  She paused, seeing him nod that he had followed her so far, although both he and Maya were looking a bit confused as to why she was telling him this.

“You both look confused, I will get to my point quickly, I promise.”  

Her wry observation about how she’d been able to guess from their faces what they were thinking achieved what she wanted, which was to get both of them to smile, and Emmett to not look quite so terrified, so she continued her story.

“Naomi came into Station 19 because her car did not make it to Grey-Sloan.  If she had, and my Resident had not eaten the mince pies, my Resident would have seen her and maybe, maybe been smart enough to realise that they needed to call me as soon as they did an external exam even though I am not supposed to be on call.”  She shrugged, trying also to smother a yawn, which she managed to do convincingly enough for Emmett to not notice, but she could tell from Maya’s expression twitch that she’d been spotted.  “But a Resident who does not notice the cannabis leaf on the mince pie top?  I do not think they would have noticed at the external exam stage that Naomi needed me.  So they will deliver the first bambino and then they do the internal exam.  And now it is too late for Naomi to have me deliver her second bambina because I have not yet been called and the Resident has not prepared the drugs we can use to trick the body into giving us more time.”

“What would happen to Naomi and the baby?” asked Maya quietly, fascinated at the insight she was getting into her girlfriend’s professional life, fascinated too at how she was deconstructing a situation Maya instinctively knew Emmett had done nothing wrong in but didn’t know how to make him see that.

“An emergency c-section is something Dr Bailey or Dr Altman could perform.  They will not like doing it, just as I do not like removing cistifellea or operating sul cuore, but they have the technical expertise to deliver the baby surgically to save its life and the experience to know that before they make an incision I am called.”

“Why would you need to be called if Dr Bailey or Dr Altman had delivered the baby?” Emmett had asked the question without thinking, only for his eyes to go round when he realised how potentially rude he’d just sounded.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“You say sorry too much Emmett.  You do not need to be sorry for asking a question you want to know the answer to, you only need to be sorry if you were suggesting that I am not a surgeon.”

“I’ve seen you chop…”  He’d been going to say more but Carina was laughing, so he waited, smiling.

“Si. Grazie.”  It felt good to laugh, to see him smile despite the heaviness of her talk.  

“Dr Bailey or Dr Altman can open the mother in a way that does not immediately kill her through blood loss or infection, does not paralyse her and does safely separate the baby from the mother.  But the mother has already delivered one baby through her vagina, and has the placenta still to pass, and the uterus to contract.  All of these things can still have complications that can kill the mother if they are not noticed and treated correctly, and Dr Bailey or Dr Altman do not know about them.  The Resident might, if they are still in the room but they have probably panicked and left, scared by what nearly went wrong.  So while the baby is delivered, the mother is...in between: not in danger but not yet safe.”

“Oh.”  Now, Emmett was feeling even worse, not having really considered how potentially dangerous childbirth could be, having rather thought that ‘died in childbirth’ was something only found in history.

“But Emmett, that is what would have happened if my Resident had not eaten the cannabis mince pies and Naomi and Sam had made it to Grey-Sloan, not stopped here at Station 19.”

“Yes, but…”

Carina shot Maya a very pointed look that clearly said ‘your turn’.

“What happened when Naomi and Sam arrived Emmett?” asked Maya quietly, seeing what Carina had set up for her to explain.

“I, uh...I saw she was pregnant, asked some questions, panicked a bit and went and got Dr DeLuca.”

“And what did I do?”

“Uh...you asked for gloves, a stethoscope and for me to do the alarm thing, then…”  He shrugged, the rest being a bit of a blur.

“Then you had already done more, with your Art History degree and couple of years of ‘General Stuff’ and your Fire Academy studies than I anticipate my Resident would have done with their degree and their Medical School studies and their pieces of paper that say Doctor.”

“But…”

“No buts,” said Maya firmly, knowing he would need a day to process what Carina had just told him - hell, Maya needed a day to process what Carina had just told him, but for slightly different reasons.  “We all panic a bit on the inside, our job is to not panic a lot on the outside.  That’s why we train in everything from intubations to how to lift things.”  She chuckled at his double take.  “You didn’t really think we lift the hose reels above our heads for the good of the hoses?”  He blushed.  “We’re building muscle memory.  The hose doesn’t care if we roll it across the barn.  But the fallen beam you lift off your next casualty rescue?  They’re going to need you to lift it with your legs, then your back, not lift it just with your arms.  When you lift them onto your shoulder to bring them down the ladder?  They’re going to need you to have lifted the beam off them with your legs, then your back so your arms and back and legs have the strength to lift them onto your shoulder and evacuate you both from the building.  That’s why we lift the hose reels the way we do, that’s why I still lift the hose reels.”

“Captain doesn’t stack hoses,” he said, quoting something he’d heard Lieutenant Herrera say to her on occasion.

“Maybe not, but the Captain needs to remember how to lift a fallen beam off a casualty rescue, and the Captain needs to remember how to evacuate themself and the casualty from the building, so this Captain still does hose reel drills.”

“I…”  Emmett opened  and closed his mouth, thinking back to the scene at the bowling alley where he’d panicked on the outside, where she’d shouted at him to get to triage...where he’d nearly quit, had knocked on her office door to hand in his badge, but, somehow, seeing her at her desk, he’d apologised and admitted he was struggling.

“You did good today Probie,” said Carina quietly, deciding he was probably ready to hear it now, even if he wasn’t quite ready to believe it.

“Umm, thank you.”  He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck.  “You were awesome Dr DeLuca.”

“Grazie.”

“What are you doing on Sunday before shift Emmett?”

“Nothing special Captain, why?”

“There’s a tradition, for babies born in the Station to be given the Station Cap.”

“Like Pru?”

“Mmm….”  Maya half shrugged, half nodded, half shook her head. “...kinda, but not so much, as Miller’s part of Station 19.”

“Oh.  Ok.”  Emmett’s face was too transparent when it came to his confusion at not understanding something, despite the nodding and the ‘ok’.

“I mean yes, they get the Cap like Pru, but there’s a bit more to it as they don’t have any sort of connection to the Department.”

“Does this have anything to do with Lieutenant Herrera asking me if my dress uniform is clean Captain?”

“It does indeed.”  Maya could tell without looking at her girlfriend that Carina’s interest was captured, as she’d been trying to find out when she might see Maya in her more formal uniform ever since she’d seen it hanging in the closet.  “With their Doctor’s permission…”  Maya turned towards Carina and raised her eyebrow, receiving a ‘sì, naturalmente’ and a wave to continue.  “...would you like to come with me and give them their bears and Caps?”

“In my dress uniform?”

“Yes.  Which reminds me, I must find the certificates…”  Seeing both were looking at her blankly, she explained herself.  “...when you told me to come stack hoses or finish a report, I meant to go look for the certificates - each Station has some ‘honorary Station member’ certificates we can fill out for kids and give them sometimes, with stickers and stuff usually.  But for the kids born in the Station House or Aid Car we do the bears and Caps.”

“And the dress uniform…”

“Yes.”  Maya shook her head in amusement at her girlfriend’s enthusiasm for that particular element of the tradition.  “And the dress uniform.”  She sighed, seeing Carina was about to ask another question.  “Yes, with the hat but only outside.”

“Thank you Captain, I would like to be able to help you give them their bears and Caps.”

“Good.”  Maya decided that was probably enough of a pep talk for both of them, so needed to change the mood, and there was only one way she knew how to do that.  “Come on, you can do one more hose reel before we go handover to B shift.”

“That is my cue…” declared Carina, not realising how long she’d been down with them and needing to get the shirts for Vic.  “...see you both upstairs.”

Chapter Text

“...which just leaves…” said Maya, having finished the more routine items of shift handover, looking around the combined A and B shifts, plus Carina, Bailey and Inara, who’d all arrived in time to hear the end of the handover.  Marcus was playing basketball out the back with Tuck and Joey until it was cookie time.  “...the names.”

“Of the puppies?”

“Of the twins Sherborne,” she corrected, shaking her head at the main Ladder driver on B Shift, who was proving to be quite a good bridge member between the older guys like Finch and the newer firefighters like Warren who, despite all his other skills, was still at the rookie end of his firefighter career.  “Puppy name suggestions go to Hughes, please remember that the puppies are sisters and will be around the Station a lot, so name suggestions should be appropriate.  Also, if anyone thinks they’re going to suggest Mac and Cheese as names…”  Maya’s suggestion brought a mixture of groans and laughs, as well as Gibson complaining that was his suggestion already rejected, “...please remember Dr DeLuca is Italian and crimes against food are serious business.”

“Si, no Spaghetti e Meatball per favore,” added Carina, having given Maya permission to include the gentle teasing if the opportunity arose, as while B Shift knew who she was (and now definitely knew to not call her ‘Ma’am’), that wasn’t the same as knowing who she was.

“Remember, for those of you thinking of trying to prank them with variations on ‘pump’ and ‘squirt’, she’s an OBGYN,” said Vic, deciding that Sherborne was looking like he might try and have just a little too much fun, “and while personally I’d have no problem taking little Vagina and Vulva for a walk at the dog park down the street...”

“Like I said…” said Maya after the laughter had died down enough for her to be heard, but not so much that the embarrassed red faces of some of the guys had faded, “...name suggestions should be appropriate… ”

“Anatomy is educational,” pointed out Bailey, still chuckling at Hughes’ suggestion before catching Maya’s expression, which she had to admit was impressively sobering. She may be Chief Bailey at Grey-Sloan but at 19 Bishop was Captain.  “But not everything educational is appropriate in this context, wouldn’t you agree Captain Bishop?”

“Moving on…” said Maya, fairly certain this had to be the most chaotic shift handover she’d ever been involved in, but finding she was actually enjoying it.  “...the newest members of the Station 19 family…Probie?”

“Right, so…”  He got his phone out and pulled up the first photo of a small baby in a blue hat.  “...he’s a he…”  He showed the room his screen, knowing all they really needed to see was the small bundle with the little blue hat, then flicked his thumb across the screen to the next photo.  “...she’s a she.”  They all saw an equally small bundle with...another little blue hat. “...and, oh…”  He squinted, realising he couldn’t actually read what was written on the piece of paper the NICU nurse had given him.  “...er Dr DeLuca?  Can you translate this please?”

“Oh my…”  Vic, who was sitting next to Emmett had looked over his shoulder, trying to help him out with the bad handwriting.  “...that’s bad.”  She passed it on around the circle towards Carina.  “Or in code.”

“Ah, si…”  Carina looked at the scribbled note, smiling when she recognised the nurse’s handwriting which wasn’t the best.  “...Vanessa’s handwriting is...something, and it is a sort of code.  So...the baby boy born on Christmas Day…” she skipped over the details like weight and time of birth, “...to Mama Naomi  is called...oh.”

“Oh?”

“Scusa, he is called Luca Bishop Climpson, and his sister is called Carina Emma Climpson.”  She looked up at Emmett.  “I think Emma is the feminine version of Emmett si?”

“Yeah.”  His mother’s name was Emma, and she was named after her father, which is where his name came from, but he decided to keep that all to himself.

“Bishop?  Are you sure?”  Maya was utterly wrong-footed by the inclusion of her surname, which she’d hoped was a coincidence until the girl’s name was read out by Carina, and it became clear that both babies were named after their perceived ‘rescuers’, much to Maya’s embarrassment, as she wasn’t sure what she’d done.

“Si, Ben?”  Carina leaned across to give the piece of paper to him, hoping he could provide a second opinion.

“Miranda?”  Ben knew from past experience that Vanessa’s handwriting was legendary at Grey-Sloan for a reason.

“It’s not that bad…”  Shaking her head at her husband’s inability to read a simple name, Miranda took the piece of paper from him and paused.  “...ok, so it is quite bad.  But yes Carina, I agree, the babies are called Luca Bishop and Carina Emma Climpson.”  She looked up from the paper and added her own update.  “I went by the NICU on my way here and I can confirm that they’re both doing very well and both wearing blue hats because that’s what Naomi wanted.  She’s doing well, so is her brother, so Mom, Uncle and the twins will be discharged in a few days.”

“Thanks Dr Bailey...alright, that means…”  Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper he’d kept a note of the various bets that had been made, “...sorry B Shift guys, we didn’t know you were coming in to overlap, otherwise we’d have done this differently.”  It wasn’t an apology that he’d have made 12 months ago, but then 12 months ago it wouldn’t have been accepted with the good natured shrugs and thumbs ups from the B Shift team either.  “...so, starting with anyone who didn’t go for a DeLuca double, that means Miller, Montgomery you’re out…”  Jack crossed their names out, making it a little easier to see how narrow a contest it was.  “...Warren, you’re out too.”

“I am?  But I went for Probie getting one.”

“Yeah, but Herrera bettered you with Probie getting one as well as a DeLuca double.”

“What do you mean DeLuca double Jack?”

“Uh, that each kid was named after you Doc.”

“Ah, grazie.”

“Right, so out of Hughes, Herrera, Probie, Other Probie and me...Vic you’re out because it wasn’t a double double.”

“He means I thought Probie would get both kids as well as Carina,” explained Vic, knowing Jack’s summary hadn’t really helped, but she’d already worked out someone would have a better guess than her given how many had gone for a ‘DeLuca double’ to start with.

“I’m out because I just went for the DeLuca double.”

“I could start using that for you and your brother…” pondered Bailey, only to find herself on the receiving end of twin glares from Maya and Carina and a pleading look from her husband.  “...or maybe not.”  It was clear she and Carina were going to have to work their way through how their relationship shifted between when they were both at Grey-Sloan compared to both at Station 19, with Miranda realising that the hierarchy of Chief of Surgery vs Attending was far clearer cut than Station ‘Mom’ vs recipient of the Captain’s cap, but a good start seemed to be what happened at 19 stayed at 19.

“So, they’ve all got the DeLuca double, which means oh.”  Jack looked up, looking puzzled.  “I think it’s a three way tie.”

“How?”

“So Herrera went for…

“Per favore do not say DeLuca Double again Jack…” pleaded Carina, feeling her headache returning at an accelerating rate everytime he said that phrase.

“...and one twin being named after Probie, which we’ve got with the Emma.  And Other Probie…” He gestured towards Sullivan, who accepted his version of the Probie nickname with good grace.  “...was ‘and one’s for Probie, one’s for 45’s Lieutenant, wait, is Tess taller than you too?”

“We’re the same height.”

“Wow, okay...well, Other Probie also had a one after Probie.  But Probie here…”  Jack clapped Emmett on the back in a kindly, supportive way.  “...who is getting a double pack of beers from me for his first two babies, which is two more than me to be clear...went for the seemingly inspired pick that rank would win and one of the babies would be cursed…”  He grinned at Maya when the inevitable jeers started, “...I mean blessed with the Captain’s name in theirs, which is the honour that young Luca Bishop Climpson has.”

“Well done guys,” said Travis, being a magnanimous loser.  “Are we getting bears?”

“Yeah, I thought we could put the pot towards them, if that’s alright with the winners?” asked Jack, seeing Robert and Andy nodding immediately and hearing Emmett’s ‘good idea’ at the same time.  

“These the big bears for the Caps to go on?” asked Sherborne, confirming that while he was a bit of a joker at times, he was also a decent team guy who knew his department traditions as well as anyone.  “Cos I’d be up for chipping into that…”  He stuck his hand in his uniform pocket and pulled out a couple of bills.  “What was the stake you guys did?  Ten?”  Seeing Jack’s nod, he saw what he’d pulled out was two fives and immediately passed them towards Jack, grateful to Finch when he passed them back to Jack for him.  “You doing it at the hospital Captain?”

“That’s the plan,” confirmed Maya, impressed when, having passed on Sherborne’s ten bucks, Finch quickly followed up with ten of his own and soon all the B Shift guys had handed over some money without it needing to be prompted or with any grumbling.  “Assuming the doctors don’t mind us.”

“I have already said yes,” said Carina, “but only for three of you and the time still needs to be worked out.”

“Thanks guys…” said Jack, once he’d finished counting up how much money he now had.  “...I think this is more than we’re gonna need for the bears...umm, so do people mind if what’s left gets carried over for stuff for the puppies?”

There was widespread mutterings of ‘good idea’ and ‘sounds like a plan’ for a moment, before Maya called everyone’s attention and, having nothing else to add, handed over to Sherborne who took B Shift off down to the barn where they would do a more conventional shift start with chores and rigs being assigned.

“So does that…”

“SHHH,” said all the A Shift firefighters.

“What did…”

“Miranda, please…” said Ben quietly, taking his wife’s hands in his.  “...just wait until Maya comes back.”  

“Oh.”  There was something in his eyes that made her pause, still not understanding but prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt for a couple of minutes at least.

It was strange, everyone staying exactly where they’d been the moment B Shift had stood up and headed down to the barn.  Some, like Warren and Bailey were sat at the table, while others like Vic, Andy and Robert were leaning against the counter, while Jack was leaning against the wall, Inara stood quietly next to him.  In fact, the only one moving much was Montgomery, and only because he didn’t want the tray of mince pies that had been warming in the oven to burn, so he took them out.

Fortunately, just when the silence was moving from uncomfortable to awkward, Maya reappeared and approached the counter.

“Oh thank god you’re back…” said Travis at a rush, like he had been holding his breath, the mince pies rescued.  “...are we…”

Engine Nineteen…Ladder Nineteen...Aid Car Nineteen…

Bailey sighed.

Inara put her hands over her ears, not having heard the alarms going before.

In the lockers, Pru’s wail was loud enough to mix in with the alarm, although whether it was from the surprise of the alarms or the indignity of needing her nappy changed when there were people to play with, Miller wasn’t sure.

Maya put her hands in her pockets and kept walking across the Beanery, knowing better than to try and shout over the alarms, knowing that they would fall silent in a few seconds...knowing that there was now something she could have another go at doing...that she wanted to have another go at, not at all concerned about everyone’s eyes being on her.  Her eyes were only on one person, the one person who hadn’t noticed she was back, because she was looking at a cap...

Carina, like everyone else, had been at risk of struggling to occupy themselves when Maya had left the Beanery with B Shift after it had been agreed that the spare money from the baby names game could be used to buy things for the puppies.  

Feeling too tired to fidget, and not awake enough to spontaneously think about her research, or try to remember what they had in the fridge at home or any of the multitude of things she could usually distract herself with when she needed to pass a few minutes in quiet contemplation, she’d started to reach for her phone...only to pick up the Cap that was sitting on the table next to her phone instead.

She’d not meant to bring it upstairs again, hadn’t realised she’d done so until she sat down at the table by the puppies and, after putting the dark blue shirts she and Maya had been wearing earlier down in the corner of the puppies’ box, realised she had it with her still.  

Taking it upstairs the first time had been deliberate: knowing there had still been over an hour to the shift change, knowing that under normal circumstances it was still too early for the next shift to arrive, knowing that there were the cookies and mince pies to prepare for when Bailey and the others (including originally Carina herself) started to arrive, she’d rather hoped that there might be an opportunity for a quiet moment with Maya that, selfishly, might mean Andy could take a photo for her so she had another one of her and Maya together where Maya looked like her Maya, the woman she loved, not some stiff, anxious robotic person that appeared in photographs Maya knew were being taken.  (And Andy had, several in fact, which were the messages Carina had on her phone that she’d have been looking at now if the Cap hadn’t distracted her).

That Andy could take photos of them, without triggering Maya’s ‘camera - be a robot’ sixth sense had been one of the unexpected positives arising from the surprise that was Andy moving in, and meant that finally, Carina was able to have the occasional photograph of them together.  And it was something that Maya and Carina had been able to offer in return when, while not as extreme as Maya’s reaction, Andy had discovered Robert was equally stiff and serious whenever she tried to take a photo of him, but just occasionally during their brunches that weren’t double dates, Carina or Maya had managed to take a picture for them.  

Sure, Andy moving in hadn’t been entirely smooth, and there had been some challenging moments, funny moments, challenging moments that were also funny and every emotion in between.

Lost in her thoughts, finger tracing the SFD badge on the front, finding by texture alone the ‘hidden’ 1 and 9 that were the more subtle indications of the cap’s specialness, Carina smiled to herself as she recalled Andy charging into Maya’s bedroom one morning mid sentence about how much she hated her father and why had she not questioned the sudden disappearance of her Aunt’s family?  It had been quite the mood killer and the bruises on the side of Carina’s head from Maya’s thighs had made resting her head on its side whether asleep or awake uncomfortable.  But it had been funny in hindsight, even before the bruises had finished forming - Andy was so worked up and so focused on just talking at Maya that Carina had been able to slip out from under the bedclothes at the bottom of the bed and walk in just her skin to the bathroom, leaving poor Maya sitting with the bed clothes up to her chin listening to Andy talk.  

It had been less funny when, fifteen minutes later, Carina had returned from her shower, towels wrapped around her ribs and her hair and Andy had still been talking, although seeing her did make Andy decide Maya probably wanted her turn in the shower now and left to make them breakfast.  And after shutting and locking their bedroom door very firmly behind her, Carina had resumed what she’d been doing before they were interrupted, much to Maya’s relief and Carina’s delight.  To this day Carina had no idea if Andy ever knew quite what she’d walked in on, how limited Maya’s attention had been to her or why, for a week or so afterwards, Carina did not sit on the couch with Maya as the temptation to lay her head on Maya was too much and the bruises were too tender.  Since she was now good friends with the Lieutenant, Carina had decided she’d not ever ask, at least not while Andy was sober.

But once the boundaries were refreshed between Maya and Andy, and bedroom and bathroom doors were once again sacred, Carina had found herself not minding Andy’s presence in the apartment.  It had been nice to get to know her girlfriend’s best friend without the other firefighters in the way, nice to see the other sides of Maya emerge that helped Carina not only get to know her girlfriend better, but to also fall in love with her in a multitude of different ways when she saw the different pieces of her personality, including the shyer parts that only rarely appeared in front of others but helped explain why she’d asked Andy to move in without thinking to ask Carina first, or why she’d turn up with a book and sit in Carina’s office on her day off so she was ‘there’ for Carina if the wrong emergency case came in at the end of an overly long double shift that had started with a bad case and only got worse.

It had nice too, to be able to cook for someone who found food something to be eaten and enjoyed, able to eat and then ask a lot of questions about it afterwards, rather than Maya’s default approach of needing to know exactly what was in something before she ate it, something her girlfriend had been working on, but since it was so complex it wasn’t a ‘quick fix’, or so Maya, Dr Lewis and Carina had all thought.  Carina still remembered holding her breath the first time Andy had snapped at Maya and told her to shut up with the questions and eat the amazing food. 

Carina had been ready to defend her girlfriend, ready to explain that she understood it was strange for Maya to see eating food as something that was an intrinsically enjoyable activity rather than a refueling moment, that was a piece in a complex jigsaw of nutrition and exercise and healthiness, ready to remind Maya that her learned behaviours of needing to understand how what she was about to eat so she knew whether it would be enough given her exertion levels and energy consumption was just that, a learned behaviour that could be safely unlearned a little, but until then she could ask all her questions because Carina really didn’t mind, knew the questions weren’t motivated by Maya not wanting to eat the food, but because she did.  

But Andy had snapped at Maya and told her to look at every plate of food Carina made for her as having love as the first ingredient in the list, and that was all she needed to know about it and to por el amor de dios, su increíble novia que cocina como un ángel y el estómago de su mejor amiga que estaba a punto de comerse de hambre, solo come la comida y tener un orgasmo sangriento o así ayudarla...Andy would eat Maya’s dinner as well as her own and probó la teoría de que es mejor que el sexo teniendo sexo con su novia allí mismo.  

It had certainly been an interesting way for Andy to discover that Carina’s Spanish understanding was rather more fluent than her ability to speak it, and rendered Andy bright red and speechless when Carina had calmly replied, in very stiff, formal, very European Spanish that it was a kind offer but she didn’t sleep with married women on principle and wasn’t going to be sleeping with anyone who wasn’t Maya.  

And Maya?  She’d sat in thoughtful silence throughout the whole exchange, oblivious to the Spanish part of Andy’s rant, working her way through the suggestion that, in very simple terms, she could just eat when she was with Carina and not worry about anything else and deciding that sounded like a good plan.  Such a good plan that, by the time Carina had finished declining Andy’s advances and got her own breathing under sufficient control to see how Maya was doing, the blonde had been two-thirds of her way through her plateful and wondering whether there were seconds because it was delicious or would that spoil any dessert plans, oh, and what was it so she knew to ask Carina to make it again sometime?

As the alarms automatically silenced, everyone heard the distinctive sound of the rigs starting their engines and pulling out of the Station, their sirens starting to sound as they set off wherever it was they were going, leaving the Station quiet, and Maya crouching in front of Carina, who finally noticed her.

“Ciao Bella…”  Carina’s fingers stilled - she’d found the 1 and the 9 in the badge, found the ‘STATION 19’ across the back edge of the hat, then found the 1 and the 9 in the badge again, her fingers now knowing how to just find the two digits with the same directness as if her eyes could see them stitched in bright red thread rather than the virtually invisible white.

“Hey beautiful…”  Maya took the cap from Carina’s hand and, smiling shyly, held it by the peak.  “...you know, there’s no more alarms...”

“Si…”  Carina, her hands free, reached out and cupped Maya’s cheek.  “...baciami, mio Capitana di Stazione di Diciannove…”

“Is she…” whispered Vic, clutching Andy’s forearm in anticipating when she saw Maya putting the cap on Carina’s head again, only in contrast to last time, there wasn’t any stiffness to her movements.

“Yeah…” agreed Andy quietly, reaching for her phone so she could take a photo for Carina, knowing that how Maya was currently looking at the Doctor was the Maya that the Doctor knew, that the Doctor saw all the time, whether Maya was letting it show or not…  “...no alarms now…”

“Ten bucks says we get 7 turns…” whispered Vic, biting her lip to stop herself making an embarrassing squeaky sound when Maya once again lifted Carina out of the chair…

“Twenty says she gets to 10…” whispered Robert, slipping in behind his wife and wrapping his arms around her waist.

As Carina’s lips met Maya’s, the pin drop silence in the Beanery shattered as, needing to move away from the table so Carina could wrap her legs around her, Maya accidentally kicked over the chair Carina had been sitting on.  That clatter attracted everyone else’s attention, interrupting the quiet conversations that had resumed between Warren and Bailey and Inara and Jack as they’d explained to their visitors that Maya’s return had indicated B Shift were now assigned to the rigs and, as long as the alarms went after that moment, A Shift were off duty, something they’d not been prepared to risk explaining before Maya reappeared in order to avoid tempting fate, fate which had but for five seconds or so of good luck and the slightly early shift change, been otherwise against them.

“GO CAPTAIN!” yelled Travis, the first to notice that Maya was not just kissing Carina, but starting to turn, which seemed to give everyone else the permission they needed to start cheering and clapping…

”ONE” shouted Miller over the noise when the first turn was completed, prompting Jack to put his fingers to his lips and let out a shrieking, piercing whistle that coincided with Miller’s sister reappearing with a freshly changed Pru who fortunately was so surprised by the noise she didn’t join in with the shrieking but started clapping and giggling.

“TWO” shouted Warren together with Travis when Maya completed the second turn, quickly followed by Vic adding a ‘Go Carina’ to the noise when she saw the Doctor slightly up the ante with the kiss by dragging her fingers through Maya’s hair, causing the slow, steady turn Maya was managing to stutter for a moment.

“THREE” shouted Emmett, adding in his voice and stamping his feet as Jack whistled again and everyone else stamped their feet, making the floor vibrate a little, the ‘magic’ third turn completed once again, the penny suddenly dropping for the young probie when he realised that the Captain’s dedication to hose reel drills was paying off as she definitely wasn’t using her arms to lift Dr DeLuca and therefore clearly had more than five turns in her...

“Go Maya…” sighed Andy, leaning back against Robert as she took a photo of them, feeling so happy for her best friend who, after all the shit and the crap that had been thrown in her path both in the past year but since her childhood, was finally living a whole life which included time for love and fun and friends as well as goals and golds.

“FOUR!” Vic joined in, crossing the Beanery as she cheered, taking a giggling Pru from Yemi and starting to bounce her in her arms and pulling silly faces at her to keep her amused.  As much as she wants to be a part of the noise and the cheering for her friend and captain, she wanted Dean to include his sister in the team as his sister, not as Pru’s nanny, and that means Yemi being able to get caught up in the moment, not worry about stopping Pru from ruining it.  “Let’s go pull funny faces at people Pru…” she says to the little girl, shifting her onto her hip and heading for Travis.

“FIVE!” Jack abandoned his whistling, content instead to lead the next round of foot stamping, wrapping his arm around Inara’s shoulders now he’s finished explaining to her with sign language (because that way they could cheer and laugh at the same time) what was happening and that no, they weren’t all high on some strange chemical from a fire.

“SIX!” Robert joined in as they all started paying extra close attention to the turns, his arms free to clap as Andy realised it was probably kinder to the puppies if they were snuggled up against a human with all the noise and was currently in the process of picking them up in their Santa hat.

“SE-VEN!” 

The next turn was ticked off in unison, all the firefighters now totally caught up in cheering Maya and Carina on, wanting this moment that couldn’t be interrupted by alarms, that superstition said was now bringing good luck to the station, a superstition it was easy to believe after the shift they’d just finished.  Even Inara and Yemi were now caught up in the cheering, joining in with the same enthusiasm that Bailey had shown from the start, now they understood what they were a part of.

The noise was so loud, with all the firefighters cheering and stamping, apart from Vic and Andy who were just stamping so as not to deafen Pru and the puppies, that no one noticed when they were joined by another, a man coming up the stairs, curious to know what was causing all the ruckus as he walked into the Beanery, wondering what on earth was happening such that, given he was generally spotted by Captain Bishop almost immediately, he’d yet to be greeted by her.

And then he saw her.

Surrounded by her team, holding a woman in her arms who, based on the kiss and the cap on her head he knew had to be Dr Carina DeLuca.  And he understood why he hadn’t been noticed by the Captain.

“EIGHT!”  

As the Station 19 family counted off the next turn, a turn that was no longer smooth and steady because even Olympic Gold Medal winning Captains start to reach their limits, they were joined by that new voice, a voice that was delighted to be able to join in the moment, who as the individual firefighters noticed him, took a moment to get over their surprise at his appearance and participation.  

Battalion Chief Sato had only stopped by on his way home from riding Aid Car with his nephew to let Bishop know that he’d decided not to wait for Carina’s complaint, but had instead woken up a few people and between them they’d pulled the CCTV footage from 42’s Aid Car and got the Ambulance Bay footage from Grey-Sloan and concluded Mickleson was done.  And not just done, but gone, and thanks to what else they saw on the Aid Car footage, taken half of 42 with him.  

Those people who he’d woken up had been his fellow Battalion Chiefs, the Interim and former Deputy Chiefs that were currently holding the Department together while it tried to heal the damage done by Chief Dixon.  They were the people who’d started their careers in a department that presumed you had to be a certain type of white man to be a firefighter, who’d spent their careers in a department proving that you didn’t necessarily need to be white, or male or straight to be good, that any combination of those differences from the stereotype of ‘tradition’ not only didn’t affect your ability to be a firefighter, but helped make the whole department a better one.

They were people who respected the traditions of the department while also breaking them when they needed changing, upheld them while challenging them.

They were the people Battalion Chief Sato had cheered when they presented their caps, and had been cheered by when his brothers gave their wives their caps.

They were his family, just as these people were a family….they were Bishop’s family, every one of them.

“NINE...COME ON BISHOP!” came the shouts and the cheers, Chief Sato included, everyone seeing she was starting to struggle, the team and their family willing her on with their noise as they tried to find her that last little bit of energy to complete the turn.

“TEN!”

Carina, unaware of the  number of turns, but very aware that she could feel Maya’s fatigue, carefully eased herself out of Maya’s hold, and with great reluctance, when she felt her feet were on the floor again, pulled back from her girlfriend’s lips.

“Ti amo bellissima, buon natale.”

“I love you too…”  Maya licked her lips, trying to regain her balance now she wasn’t also holding Carina, “...and Happy Christmas....”

“Bella?”  Feeling Maya wobbling, Carina pulled back a little more so she could study her girlfriend, worried something was seriously wrong.

“I’m fine…” promised Maya, shuffling a little to her left and finding the edge of the Beanery table with her hip, anchoring her.  “...oh.”  She blushed, trying to hide against Carina’s chest, the realisation as to what she’d done in front of her team catching up to her as she registered the cheering and noise, having been saved from the post-kiss embarrassment the first time around by the alarm going.

“Just so we’re clear…” began Ben loudly, wanting to help his friend out, but now he’d clocked Battalion Chief Sato was stood by the fridge he really, really wanted his Captain to reboot and regain the power of speech.  “...can I just check…er Captain?”

“What is it Warren?” asked Maya, not yet moving out from Carina’s comfortable, protective, supportive hold.

“Does this mean we’re allowed the mince pies now?”

Chapter Text

“Here you go,” said Maya, walking around the end of the couch and passing Carina her the glass of wine she’d poured.

“Grazie, bella.”  Carina took the glass and watched her girlfriend with admiring eyes as she went back to the kitchen area of her own glass of wine and the last bit that was in the bottle.  “I feel bad…”

“About?”

“Not helping you make dinner.”

“I’m not sure you can call scrambled eggs and toast the sort of dinner that needs ‘making’,” corrected Maya, not remotely concerned by the division of labour since they’d arrived home from the Station.  “But if you feel really guilty you can make breakfast tomorrow without my help.”  She felt Carina’s fingers catch hold of the back pocket of her jeans as she paused to put the wine bottle on the coffee table.

“Eh?”  Carina let go of Maya’s jeans, causing the blonde to stay standing, expecting that she was about to be asked to go and get the very specific food that Maya didn’t know they had but was now magically in the kitchen and Carina had suddenly remembered they had.  Twisting round, expecting that the request was going to be accompanied by some hand gestures that may or may not help her have any idea what she was looking for, she was surprised to see the look of mock horror on her girlfriend’s face.

“What?”  She reached behind her, brushing the jeans with her hand, wondering if she was about to discover she’d sat in something on the way to work and not noticed.

“Is bad sex another Christmas tradition?”

“Come again?”

“Yes, I was looking forward to…” teased Carina, knowing it was juvenile and childish but they were finally home, together, on Christmas, and she was tired, exhausted even, but happy.  “But since I was going to make french toast…”  

She sipped her wine, knowing alcohol wasn’t a great idea given the last 48 hours, but it was the end of a very good bottle of Chianti and a few sips was quite literally a taste of home and Maya had insisted she should continue to have that feeling at the start of their Christmas despite everything.  Plus, when she’d originally suggested that they might have this particular wine split between their last wine drinking opportunity before their Christmas shifts started and their first ‘Christmas meal’ after their shifts were done, Maya had loved the idea but only if they could do it when both of them could enjoy the wine, wanting it to be a shared experience.  Neither had thought, when they’d discussed and agreed to that idea, that they’d be in danger of failing in that ambition because of something that had happened to Carina, rather than the more inevitable case of one of them being stuck in work and missing the meal. 

Between the wine and the music (she’d laughed when she discovered Maya had found the time to make a playlist of different versions of the ‘chestnuts on the open fire’ song interspersed with some of the only-in-Italian Christmas songs Carina knew) and the fairy lights and Christmas decorations they’d found the time to put up, not to mention the view of Maya in those jeans, Carina almost forgot what she’d been talking about, but the exaggerated eye roll Maya sent her before she sipped her own wine jolted her thoughts back to their teasing.  

“...but if you are helping…”  She pouted, or at least attempted to but it was difficult given how amused she was by her girlfriend right in this moment, and how happy she was generally, so it quickly turned into a lazy, loving smile.

“With the sex part or the french toast part?” countered Maya, sitting down at the far end of the couch, with her back mostly supported by the arm so she could look at Carina.  “I’d thought Christmas breakfast was two courses…”  

They’d agreed, a couple of weeks back when their shift patterns had become inevitable and not all that pleasant, that they’d mostly ignore Christmas until Maya got home from her shift on Christmas Day, and declare that the start of their Christmas celebration.  With Carina not expected back at Grey-Sloan until sometime in the afternoon of December 27th, and Maya’s next shift started at 6pm on the same day, they’d planned to ignore the world and make December 26th their Christmas Day.

“Ah.  That might change things then,” mused Carina, sipping her wine as she pretended to give serious consideration to whether she could actually stretch the definition of ‘breakfast’ to ‘two courses’.  “I mean, since french toast is supposed to be the better course, and bad sex is not a Christmas tradition...”  She leaned forward and put her wine glass on the coffee table, not wanting it spilling if Maya decided to retaliate by tickling her.  “...which course were you thinking?”  

She leaned back and stretched, very aware that when she’d got home she’d taken off the very tailored shirt she’d worn to the hospital and put on a more loosely cut shirt with a wide neck that had a habit of slipping off her shoulder every time she moved.  It was so consistently slippery that she had almost banished it from her wardrobe before she and Maya started going out, but since she’d come to understood what reaction it generated in her girlfriend?  It had been rapidly promoted to one of her favourites to wear when spending time around the apartment.  Normally, she’d wear it over a sleeveless vest or t-shirt, so if the shirt neck did slip it showed the thin strap of the top rather than a bra strap, but as she’d been changing she’d heard the music Maya had selected and kept her ‘festive’ bra on.

“Umm…”  Maya knew she was being played, but she really didn’t care in the slightest, not when she saw the strip of lacy colour on Carina’s shoulder, the colour of a flame at eleven hundred degrees fahrenheit... the literal colour of an open fire’s light.  “...which would you prefer?”

“Hmm, well, if you were to make the french toast I would be able to stay in bed for longer…” Carina looked around the room and realised she had genuinely missed turning on a set of the little battery operated fairy lights they’d scattered around the room.  “...and that is a lovely thought…” she said, standing up and going to turn on the set, knowing its continued offness would distract her, and Maya when she noticed, plus it was the set that completed the soft illumination around Maya’s end of the couch.  It was also amazing how energising a little bit of food and a lot of love from friends who were family could be, even before Carina thought about the wonderful care Maya had been taking of her...she knew she’d crash again fairly soon, and sleep long and deeply tonight, but before then, Carina wanted to try and enjoy their first bit of their first Christmas together...and have all the little lights working.

“I can be very quick...”  Realising what Carina had stood up for, Maya took the opportunity to put her own wine glass down on the coffee table.

“At french toast?”

“At many things…” 

It was Maya’s turn to catch hold of Carina’s pocket as she returned to the couch, carefully tugging Carina down into her lap, her girlfriend ending up sat in her lap, her back to Maya and her neck..  “...but I am not very good or quick at french toast…”  ...her neck perfectly placed...

“No…”  Carina could have said more, but her shirt had slipped off her shoulder again and Maya’s teeth and lips were currently being very good and very slow at exploring the space between her neck and the lace of her bra strap.  “...but you are excellent at many things…” she finally managed to string the phrase together when her girlfriend’s lips left her skin, though with the slightly clearer head she became conscious that Maya’s hands were trailing hot paths over her stomach and sides.  “...and quick is not always good…” Missing Maya’s lips, Carina decided that while quick was not always good, too slow at the wrong moment was not always fun either, so, since Maya wasn’t kissing her neck, she took off her shirt and tossed it aside, hoping the unobstructed access would encourage her girlfriend to speed up some things a little.

“Tell me…” murmured Maya, resuming her trail of kisses up the side of Carina’s neck, cupping lace covered breasts with her hands, savouring their softness even as she felt Carina’s nipples starting to tighten against her palms.  “...it’s been on my mind…”

“Si?”

“Was it just…”  Maya trailed back out across Carina’s shoulder, stopping when her kisses reached the bra strap, “...the bra that is festive?”  She resumed her exploration with her lips, replacing her palms with her fingers as she teased hardening nipples through the lace with her fingers, delighting in the sounds her girlfriend was making.  “Or are you wearing the set?”

“Ah…”  Carina arched her back and, covering Maya’s hands with her own, gently guided them from her breasts to the sides of her ribs, then ran her own hands down to her waist.  There were many, many ways her girlfriend’s strength was sexy and arousing, but this way, one they’d discovered by accident, was one of Carina’s absolute favourites, and very definitely an entirely private display of muscles.  “...su per favore…” 

As she undid the button on her jeans, she felt the gentle pressure against her ribs as, without stopping her kissing and licking, Maya obediently lifted Carina up out of her lap just enough for the Italian to push her jeans down to her thighs.  “...grazie amore…” sighed Carina when she’d pushed her jeans down as far as she could reach without moving out from under Maya’s mouth, feeling herself sink back into her girlfriend’s lap and body, Maya’s hands slowly sliding down from her ribs to her hips, holding her close while Carina kicked her way out of her jeans, not caring where they landed.

“Very festive…” whispered Maya, recognising the texture of the lace at her girlfriend’s hip as feeling the same as the bra, her teeth grazing her girlfriend’s ear while her hands continued exploring.

“Si…molto...festoso...”  

“Bella?” mumbled Carina sleepily a while later, curled up against Maya in her favourite position.

“Mmm?”

“I think I’m too tired to stand up…”

“Ah.”  Maya rested her chin on the top of Carina’s head, absently stroking lazy patterns that Carina had finally worked out were holly leaf shapes on her bare back, as she looked around the room.  Satisfied that, while leaving the lights on was wasteful in terms of the electric power the lights drew from their batteries, there was nothing that was going to need attending to in order for her to be able to go to sleep without worrying, Maya pressed a kiss into Carina’s hair.  “Want me to bring you a blanket?” she teased, knowing what Carina was really asking.

“Noooo,” sighed Carina, playfully pinching the most convenient bit of her girlfriend in protest at the ‘wrong stick’ she’d selected, which happened to be a nice, soft, bare bit of Maya, just above her left nipple.

“Ah, I should get you your pyjamas then?” Maya felt another playful pinch, though this time Carina’s aim was rather accurately centred exactly on her left nipple....  “...aahhmmm…”  and caught her by arousing surprise.  “Careful…” she sighed, closing her eyes and concentrating on her breathing for a moment, as she tried to calm her body’s response and keep on top of and in control of the rising arousal that was growing as the lingering arousal from their impromptu love-making started to reignite, with the very conscious reminder that Carina was naked and Maya was just wearing her knickers really not helping that plan.

“Scusa bellissima…” murmured Carina immediately, recognising the tone Maya was using and understanding that she’d pushed her wonderful love a little too far.  “...I can move…”

“No, you’re fine…” insisted Maya, wrapping her arms more tightly around Carina again, not wanting her to move away from her.  “I just, don’t tease please.”  

She could manage the tiredness, manage the muscle fatigue...she could win a Gold Medal race on a wrecked ankle that she by rights shouldn’t have even qualified for given the fever she’d had...she could be the youngest Captain in the Department’s history, be the first female Captain of the City’s busiest and best station...she could do this.

“If you don’t want a blanket, and you don’t want pyjamas…” She took a final, calming, steadying breath, and for the second time that day, asked,  “Would you like me to carry you?”

“Si bella, grazie.”

And so, drawing on the years of hose lift drills and all the other hours of work put in to turn Olympian Maya Bishop into Captain Bishop, and using her legs, back and arms, Maya stood up with a very sleepy, girlfriend in her arms and carried her through to their bedroom where, minutes later, both were asleep.

It had taken sixteen babies, their friends, two puppies and a very special cap, but now, finally, it was time for them to sleep on what was, for them, the night before their first Christmas together.  It didn’t matter that most people would wake up tomorrow to the day after Christmas, as Christmas was rather more than a date on a calendar.  Christmas was a time for friends, family, love, laughter and joy. 

As today turned into tomorrow, and most people woke up to just the right amount of picture postcard snow dusting sidewalks across Seattle....

...at Grey-Sloan a new mother fed her babies, a woozy brother held his sister’s hand and promised to be the best uncle ever...and the Chief of Surgery proudly showed the Co-Head of Cardiothoracic Surgery her SFD cap with its 19 on the back where Teddy’s was blank, before blushing and saying yes, in her experience firefighters really were that strong.

...three blocks away, at Station 19, alarms came and went for B shift, and in between they tried to come up with suggestions for names for two little orphaned puppies that soon would be part of the Station family, thanks to their Captain and her Doctor.

Across town, two perso piccoli cuccioli di fuoco snuggled up to the warmth of their temporary foster mom and opened their eyes, for a moment finding the world an unfamiliar looking and smelling place. So the feistier of the two decided to explore the world and stood on her sister’s head, treating her like a ladder and soon she was trying to get closer to the thing that smelled familiar, smelled of milk and warmth and fuss...and which in a few more days both she and her sister would start to recognise by sight as well as smell.  

They were the lost little fire dogs who had been found by firefighters, who thanks to a Doctor’s love weren’t lost any more and wouldn’t stay little for much longer, but had found their home and their family at Station 19.

And, waking up slowly, not remotely interested in moving from where she lay, a Captain kissed her Doctor...and decided that maybe, perhaps she would go back to sleep.

After all... it was Christmas.

Chapter Text

“...and it turned out the intracranial bleed was oh my…”

“What are…”  Teddy Altman turned around so she could see what had got Amelia Shepherd distracted from talking about intracranial bleeds.  “...oh my…”

“I saw it first.”

“There’s three of them!” protested Teddy, not looking away but instead reaching out blindly to hit her friend not all that gently on the arm.

“Dr Altman!”

“Yes Dr Bailey?”

“Don’t hit Dr Shepherd with your hand like that.”

“Aww, thank you Bailey, I didn’t know you cared…” replied Amelia quickly, still not looking away from the spectacle that had captured her attention so abruptly.

“I don’t.  Your ribs mean nothing to me, but Dr Altman’s hands are expensive.  Use your elbow next time Teddy.”

“Of course.”  Teddy, canting her head so she could see better, stepped to her left and gave Bailey a demonstration of her revised technique.  “Like that?”  It was testament to the visual treat that Amelia didn’t even react to the elbowing.

“Much better.  Now…”  Bailey used her elbow to insert herself between the two taller surgeons, “...what are we...oh my.”

“I know...wait.”  Teddy blinked and looked at Miranda.  “You’re married!  To a man!”

“So?”  Miranda raised her eyebrow at Teddy’s observation, deciding it was probably better to not mention Teddy’s relationship status just at the moment, as she’d honestly got no idea what it was, which she suspected was probably also true for the Cardiothoracic Surgeon.  “I can appreciate…”

“And oh there’s a lot to appreciate there…” sighed Amelia, sipping her coffee.

“What are we…”  Carina came up behind the three of them, her hands in the pockets of her white doctor’s coat, wondering what it was that had caused her three friends to stand so still in the middle of the busy hospital lobby. “...Mamma mia…è perfetto…”

“Who knew…” sighed Amelia.

“Oh I knew, but it was illegal…” agreed Teddy, biting her lip.

“It was?”  Bailey looked at Teddy in surprise.  “Wait, what are you talking about?”

“The sinful sexiness of a woman in uniform,” said Amelia, even though it was Teddy that Bailey had asked, though Teddy did blush slightly as she bit her lip and nodded.  Running away from the memory of Alison to the Army had, in many ways been the making of her, but it had also specifically helped contribute to her current muddle with Owen, who for all the complications that having feelings for him when she’d first met him had caused, at least it was straight complicated, not don’t ask don’t tell complicated.

“Ow!”  Amelia turned round and saw her best friend was the latest person to hit her.  “Carina!  What was that for?”  At Carina’s rather pointed look in the direction they’d been all looking, Amelia did have the decency to shrug.  “Ok, fine, but why not Teddy?  She was drooling too.”

“Si, but I can assume Teddy is looking at Lieutenant Herrera not Maya, whereas you…”

“Why can’t I be looking at Andy rather than Captain Softie?”

“Oh, please call her that in her earshot…” said Miranda wistfully, imagining Maya’s reaction now she wasn’t at the wrong end of a mammoth shift and hadn’t just caught her girlfriend as she collapsed in a dead faint.

“Because that would be the wife of a patient!”

“She’s right,” said Teddy, recovering enough of her faculties to focus on Amelia.  “Oh, by the way Carina, Bailey prefers us to use our elbows rather than our hands when beating up Amelia.”

“Bene, grazie.”  Carina dutifully obliged Dr Bailey’s wishes, since they were in the hospital and not Station 19, and elbowed Amelia.  “Is it just for Dr Shepherd that we must use our gomiti?”

“Gomiti?”

“She means elbows...wait, where’d your English go?” asked Andrew De Luca, who’d been walking behind his sister as she spoke, only to immediately take a couple of steps backwards so he was level with the group and able to see what had distracted her enough to forget her English.  “...oh my…”

“ANDREA!”  Carina’s cheeks were now a bright red as she used both her elbow and her hand on her little brother.  “...è la mia ragazza che stai guardando come una coscia di prosciutto.”

“Piece of meat.”

“Eh?”

“In English, what you meant was ‘piece of meat’, not ‘leg of ham’.”  He scratched the back of his neck, amused, not having ever known his sister to think of an English idiom then translate it into Italian to hurl at him - usually she just went straight for the very colourful Italian ones.  “And I was not eying your girlfriend like a piece of meat.”

“No?”  Carina crossed her arms and, considering how young she’d been when their mother had moved to the US, managed to do a remarkably good impression of their mother’s ‘spill it now’ look.

“No, stavo apprezzando l'anatomia. Sono un dottore dopotutto, come Dr Bailey.”  And, drawing on all his Italian charm, which he knew would have no effect on his sister but should hopefully reduce the chance of all of the other three surgeons deciding to take his sister’s side, he took his leave and continued across the lobby to the coffee cart.

“Andrea…” grumbled Carina, unable to stay mad at him when he had an excellent point, and she turned back to see if Maya was still crouching down to talk to the elderly lady in the wheelchair that the other firefighter was pushing - her girlfriend did have some glorious anatomy which even Dr Bai…

“Ow!”  Bailey turned and fixed a glare on Amelia.

“What?”  Amelia had been watching the firefighters interact on the other side of the lobby, but had moved past her initial reaction about the two in their uniform that had the double-breasted jacket and the extreme height of the Lieutenant from the adventure to Station 19, and was trying to work out why the newly arrived male one was carrying such a large kit bag - it was unusual enough as it was, without the rather stark contrast to his formal uniform that made her think of Naval Officers uniforms and his cap that was tucked under his arm.

“We don’t hit…”

“...with our hands, we use our elbows yes, I know Bailey, but I didn’t hit you.”  She raised her coffee cup, which she was holding with the hand that she would have most logically used to make contact with the Surgical Chief.

“Si, it was me.  They are your husband’s bosses.”  Carina thought for a moment, before hitting Bailey again.  “And you have your own firefighter to look at.”

“Look at?”  Bailey squared her shoulders and tugged her white coat back into the right place on her shoulders.  “Looked more like a tonsillectomy the other day…” muttered Bailey.  “...hello Captain.”

“Dr Bailey.”  Maya looked between the four surgeons, finding Bailey her usual impossible to read, but able to tell that Teddy and Amelia were struggling to not laugh and her girlfriend was...almost as pink as her scrubs.  “...I didn’t realise you were now doing ENT surgery?”

“What? I…”

“Ah, Bailey wasn’t the one doing the Tonsillectomy Captain, she was suggesting Carina was,” supplied Teddy ‘helpfully’.  “And I’m so jealous you’re allowed to wear ties and trousers.”  Her Army Dress Uniform had felt like a relic of the housewife era

“The one upside of it all being unisex I guess...” shrugged Maya, never having really thought about it that way before but now Teddy had mentioned it, she was very, very glad not to be forced into skirts.  “And I’ve still got my tonsils Dr Bailey, and I can assure you there’s no need to MRI my brain either.”

“Wait, what did I miss?” asked Amelia, enjoying Maya’s boldness with Bailey and, having no idea about the tonsillectomy reference.  “I mean, obviously there’s no need to MRI her brain, wait, are you still mad about the French Toast?”

“Si, she’s mad because Ben used Travis Montgomery’s French Toast method not mine.”

“French Toast?  Is that a euphemism?” asked Teddy.  “Herrera, thank god, I’m confused.  Is French Toast a euphemism?”

“No…”  Andy looked at the group of Doctors, realising they were skipping straight over the ‘hellos’ and the ‘how was Christmas/Happy New Year’ part of most normal conversations.  “...Carina’s French Toast is…”  She paused, not sure quite how to put it, then smiled.  “...probably going to make a brain look pink and purple on an MRI if you could be allowed to eat it straight from the pan in an MRI machine.”

“I’m coming to yours for breakfast,” said Teddy quickly, pointing to Carina for the total avoidance of any doubt as to whose French Toast she wanted to try.

“Ben made Miranda French Toast for her birthday, on Maya’s…” began Amelia, deciding Teddy needed to be given the Grey-Sloan side of the story as well as the Station 19 side.

“ANDY’s…” corrected Maya, still not clear how or why she’d been the one to end up on Bailey’s shit list rather than Ben or Travis, deciding she needed to take over telling this story if they were to ever actually get to their shift.  “On Andy’s recommendation, Ben made a birthday breakfast for Miranda of French Toast, but he used Montgomery’s recipe, not Carina’s.”

“Si, we had nothing to do with it!”

“Montgomery, he’s the one with all the freckles?”

“Not the way he’s usually described, but yeah,” agreed Andy, taking the elbow Maya threw in her direction in good humour, taking the point she should be trying to drag the doctors back towards something vaguely resembling professional workplace conversation, if only to set some sort of example to Probie.  “He’s the one who was doing compressions on Sam when he coded.”

“Right...and makes bad French Toast?” asked Teddy, now both she and Amelia had placed who the recipe owner was, remembering also that he’d been the one who cleaned up all the ‘goo’ on the floor after the first twin was born.

“It’s not bad French Toast…” protested Emmett, snapping his mouth shut as soon as he realised he’d spoken, “...err, I’m just…”  He gestured in the direction of, well, anywhere except in their immediate vicinity and started to shuffle away.

“It’s not that it’s bad...” agreed Andy wincing, though whether it was in sympathy for Probie’s desire to have the lobby floor consume him, or at the memory of Montogomery’s recipe, it was ambiguous.  “But it’s very ordinary French Toast compared to Carina’s.”

“Really?”  Before this conversation, Teddy wasn’t sure she’d ever really thought about French Toast in any great detail, but now she was on the point of obsessing.  “What goes wrong with it?”

“I want to know what goes right for DeLuca, because every French Toast I’ve ever had was heavy, limp and takes way more time to make than is worth...”  Bailey stopped, giving Amelia the evil eye when her coffee sprayed from her nose while Teddy tried desperately not to look Maya, Andy or Carina in the eye.  “...what?”

When it was clear that the conversation was going to take a minute or two longer to restart as none of the women could actually look each other in the eye, made worse when Bailey finally caught on and tried to find a way of digging her own love life out of a hole, Emmett carefully put the kit bag between his Captain and Lieutenant and went to join the queue for the coffee cart: something told him that it wouldn’t hurt to buy a couple, plus it got him out of the cross-fire for a minute or two.

“Carina?” asked Andy finally, when she thought she was sufficiently in control of her vocal cords and lungs to be able to speak.

“Si?”

“At  some point, could you try and teach the boys how to make French Toast the way you do please?”  Andy glanced at Maya, who nodded, also working out that while this was probably never going to go away as an in-joke between the extended group of surgeons and firefighters, it would be nice if it became less funny and therefore less frequently raised: others being able to recreate the ‘Carina-magic’ was probably the only way that was going to happen.

“You’d be welcome to then join us for breakfast, assuming you’re free?”  asked Andy, extending the invitation to Bailey, Amelia and Teddy, knowing that with their luck sometimes, it could end up being the four doctors on their own for breakfast if the rest of them were out on calls.

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”  Andy couldn’t think of any condition Carina might have that she’d have a problem agreeing to.

“No.”  Maya however, wasn’t quite so confident, knowing what her girlfriend was probably currently thinking about.

“Si.” Carina caught her lower lip in her teeth and raised her eyebrow in challenge to her girlfriend, but her eyes also sparkled with a promise of what else would come if her condition was agreed to.

“Carina…”  

Maya had resolve... 

Maya was strong... 

Maya was not keen on people speculating how her brain must be broken because it was a given her girlfriend was amazing in bed... 

Maya...was…crumbling.

“...fine.”

“Si?”

“Yes, I agree.”

“Bene.”  

It was impossible to begrudge Carina anything when she did her little ‘I told you’ happy dance as far as Maya was concerned, while Bailey realised she’d last seen when Amelia had been declaring that yes, natural oxytocin did help with the pain during childbirth and rapidly decided she didn’t want to know what the condition was that had been attached to the French Toast mystery resolution.   

“Si , at some point I will teach French Toast at the Station.  And no!”  Carina turned and looked at Amelia with a very fierce expression, “non eufemismo, piatto colazione con caffè e frutta.”

As the other three doctors began to formulate the plan with Andy for how to plan an eventual breakfast masterclass, Maya and Carina detached themselves slightly from the group.

“You…”  Maya stepped forward, shaking her head at her girlfriend, her hat firmly tucked under her arm.

“Si, ma tu mi ami.”

“More than your French Toast,” agreed Maya, catching herself as her hand drifted towards her girlfriend’s white coat, earning her a frown from her girlfriend.  “Not in this uniform…” muttered Maya, stepping back a little self-consciously, “...not here…” aware that the lobby of the hospital had any number of people milling about who’d almost certainly take delight in complaining to the department.  There wouldn’t be anything wrong with a kiss on the cheek, but Maya wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to restrict herself to just kissing Carina on the cheek.

“Is the bag what I think it is?” asked Teddy, as the plan for planning a breakfast plan was made and Bailey heading off to look in on the surgery she’d been on her way to observe, she was just now putting two and two together.

“Depends, do you think it’s to do with us visiting the Climpson twins?” asked Andy, taking the conversation lead as Maya and Carina rejoined them.  “Thanks for the store recommendation by the way.”

“Oh?”  Teddy looked at Carina, confused.  “But I thought…”

“Carina forwarded it to Robert and I, we had stuff to do yesterday in that part of the city anyway,” said Andy quickly.  

That she’d insisted on getting the bears so that Carina could have another day’s quiet rest after her exhaustion episode was the boring truth, but she was already sufficiently familiar now with the dynamic of the three doctors to know that teasing Carina about Maya, and teasing Maya would be not that far away if she in any way mentioned letting Carina rest.  And, while Maya had a vastly improved tolerance for being teased about her relationship with Carina now compared to earlier on in their relationship, she was by no means the ‘Captain Softie’ Amelia had seen at the Station on Christmas Day except under the most extreme of circumstances.  

“I’d meant to text you to remind you to be a good patient…” said Amelia, for once not leaping to the teasing.

“Si, that was why we accepted Andy’s offer.”  Carina looked at Teddy, having had the explanation from Maya yesterday about the cap she’d given the surgeon and how she’d been able to know to send them a store recommendation.  “And si, there is one for you in there…”

“Oooh, thank you.”  Teddy’s face lit up and she looked expectantly at the bag, like Emmett was suddenly going to produce it for her then and there, only for him to instead reappear offering her a coffee.  “Oh, thanks.”

“One what?” asked Amelia, having missed the whole bears conversation at the Station, only for her pager to go.  “I want to know everything later DeLuca,” she said with more than a hint of menace in her voice as she, having seen what the page was, really did need to hustle, but not before thanking Emmett in a distracted manner as she took the coffee he offered her.

“Shall we go to the ward?  Are you...” began Carina, not sure if Teddy was free or also had to go somewhere.

“OR 2 in…”  Teddy looked at her watch.  “...twenty, so I’ve got a few minutes…”

“Si e grazie Emmett.”  Carina took the coffee he was offering, relieved the cardiothoracic surgeon was going to come with them, as she hadn’t actually seen the siblings yet since Station 19, having only been on shift long enough to read their respective notes and catch up on how noisy some of the ward staff had been about having ‘a man’ as a patient on the OB/GYN ward, which she’d ignored before she’d been pulled in for her first emergency patient of the shift.  “Mio Dio…”  Carina heard her pager go off, and she looked at it in frustration.  “...ah, I was expecting this.”  She put the pager back in the pocket of her white coat.  “I will follow - I must review a chart but it will only be five minutes.”  That was the reason she’d been in the lobby originally, and in some ways she was surprised it had taken this long for her Resident to page her again, then again they were on their best behaviour today after the mince pie fiasco.  

“Then I will show you the way…” said Teddy, taking another sip of her coffee, frowning when she realised he’d managed to get her perfect order.  “...how’d you…”

“Know your coffee order?”

“Yeah.”

“Umm, I asked the guy on the cart if he recognised you.”  Emmett held out the other cardboard tray of cups, which had three cups on it.  “Yours is the one in the blue cup Captain,” he added, seeing Maya was about to take the one nearest her otherwise.  “He offered to make your usual orders.”

“I’m getting a whole new appreciation for this firefighter problem solving thing you guys have going on…” mused Teddy, leading the three from Station 19 over to the bank of elevators.

“This is really good…” said Andy, taking a sip of her coffee.  “...is it ginger?”

“Their version of gingerbread,” agreed Teddy enthusiastically, earning a groan from Maya as she sipped her own, flavouring free cup of coffee.  “Oh, shut up Bishop…” retorted Teddy, without even pausing for breath.  “DeLuca’s so turned you into a coffee snob…fourth floor please.”

“So you are staying here?” asked Carina, shutting the door on the now sleeping siblings, young and old, the firefighters’ visit to give the babies their bears and caps wearing out Naomi and her brother.  She’d rather expected all the firefighters to have gone by the time she’d finished checking on her patients, but seeing her girlfriend still here was a pleasant surprise.

“Andy and Probie are going to take the SUV and get them their things now, they’re going to pick me up when they drop the things off...assuming we’re allowed to know their address?”  They’d realised, while chatting to Naomi and Sam, that they had none of their things like clothes or a book with them, so Emmett had offered to go after shift and get them some of their clothes and the like.  Accepting the offer, Naomi had told Carina where to find her keys in the pocket of the coat she’d come in with, and Maya had said they may as well go do it now, rather than wait until tomorrow.

“But you are on shift still?”  Carina led Maya over to the nurses’ station and, having been stood next to Naomi when she’d accepted Emmett’s offer, was happy to look up her admit record and write down the address.

“Yes, we all are.  All our kit is in the SUV, so Andy’s packing mine up for me.  I’m going to drop off the keys and address, then wait for them here.  As long as I have my kit, if we get a call I can go from here.  I was…”  Maya shrugged, having not quite thought all the details through.  “...thinking I could find a quiet corner somewhere.”

“My office?” offered Carina, appreciating that Maya never presumed she could use Carina’s office as her own private space, when in truth the Doctor had been absolutely fine with that - as far as personal space boundaries went, once she and Maya had moved in together, access to the couch in her office was a given (the desk a different matter obviously, given the patient information on her computer, but that was true also for Maya’s office, where Carina never went behind Maya’s desk without an explicit invitation).

“I don’t want to be in the way.”

“Bella…”  Carina leaned in close enough to be able to see the individual coloured strands of golds and yellows that made up her girlfriend’s blonde hair.  “...impossibile…” she said, then stepped back,  “Here is the address, Captain Bishop...”  Her sudden formality was explained when Maya saw one of what was presumably Carina’s patients and their family walking down the corridor, only for her eyes to widen when she realised it was the Mayor’s daughter with the Mayor, who would definitely take issue with anything less than immaculate conduct from anyone employed by the City, least of all a uniformed fire captain.

“Thank you…”  Maya swallowed, her mouth suddenly feeling like she’d been in a four alarm fire not standing in a perfectly not on fire corridor.  “...Dr DeLuca.”  She took a step to the side of the corridor and came to a careful ‘at ease’ formal stance as the Mayor passed her, glad she’d done so when he muttered a ‘Happy Christmas Bishop’.  “And to you Sir, Ma’am.”  God, she hated wearing this uniform...

“Si?”  Carina looked up as, in response to her call, her office door opened.  “Bella…” 

“Hey.”  Maya pushed the door open wider and came all the way into the office, carrying the large kit bag that was now significantly heavier than it had been when it contained the bears for the twins, plus her helmet and two pairs of boots made it an awkward shape.

“What is that?” asked Carina, standing up and coming round to hold open the door, which Maya was discovering had quite a firm self-closing mechanism on it.  “And I should get this altered…” frowned Carina, reminded again how much she didn’t like the heaviness of her new office door.  “...it is heavy and…”

“Perfect.”  Maya, now the kit bag’s long side wasn’t at right angles to the doorway, came into the office easily, looking at the door as she passed it.  “It’s perfect.”

“It’s a door Maya, a heavy door that closes too quickly.”

“It’s a fire door, that heaviness means it keeps whatever is behind it safer for longer, and by closing quickly it means it cannot be accidentally stuck open at the moment it needs to be closed.”

“Oh.”

“You were going to ask me how I knew that…” teased Maya, putting the kit bag down tidily by the end of the couch.

“No…”  Carina looked at the floor as she put her hands in her scrub pockets, then looked up shyly.  “...I was going to ask why this office needs it when my other office didn’t.”

“C’mere,” said Maya, surprised this question hadn’t come up sooner, tossing her uniform hat on the couch as she held her hand out.

“Mmm?”  Carina took hold of Maya’s hand and let herself be gently pulled into her girlfriend’s arms.

“I can answer that question for you if you really want me to...but if I do it will be properly.”

“Ah.”  

Carina thought about what Maya was saying for a moment, remembering the times she’d overheard Bailey and the others teasing Warren and Maya about ‘how many fire hazards can you see’ and Maya always smiling and making an excuse to step away.  After Carina had realised it was a pattern, she’d asked Maya about it, and Maya had explained it was a question she couldn’t joke about, never had been able to right from the moment they’d started to learn about fire at the Academy.  If she answered the question, she would answer it seriously and properly, and that she knew could make people feel very anxious in their space, even if the answer was a good one.  

“Si, I would like to understand how you see it…” decided Carina, tightening her hold on her girlfriend.  “...but not today.”

“Oh?”  Maya responded to Carina’s touch, and leaned into her girlfriend’s body, waiting for her explanation.

“Baciami?”

“Always…”  Maya slid her hands up Carina’s back and stroked her neck, coaxing their mouths together, lips touching with the faintest of pressure, playfully brushing against each other, making them both smile at their shared idea, to tease the other one, before finally they kissed again, this time open mouthed, tongues taking up the teasing as they fit together and just loved each other, oblivious to their surroundings.

“Carina, I…”  Amelia opened the door without knocking, as she always did, and stopped, not expecting to see quite such an involved kiss.  “...oh my.”  She let the office door close, not appreciating the self-closing mechanism meant it closed quietly rather than with a useful slamming noise to announce her presence.  “Don’t mind me…” she said, walking around behind Carina to the couch, having spotted Maya’s hat and deciding this would be her best opportunity to try it on.  “Oh!  That sort of tonsillectomy, I get it now…” she continued, presuming Carina and Maya hadn’t noticed her yet, so she was rather surprised when “…Hey!”  Amelia glared at her best friend, through whose hitting arc she’d walked.  “Bailey said no hands!”  

Maya, clearly able to still hear them, but more than happy to follow her girlfriend’s lead and not stop their kiss, having no real idea what Shepherd was talking about, obediently lifted her hands away from Carina without breaking the kiss, Carina trying to follow Maya’s example when she realised what she was doing, but she started to giggle instead.

“Funny Captain…” said Amelia, sitting down on the couch and putting Maya’s hat on, taking a photo of her friends, happy they were so happy.

“Amelia…” sighed Carina, not really frustrated at her friend’s interruption, knowing that she and Maya would have stopped their kiss fairly shortly anyway, with her having no plans to have sex in her office any time soon.   “...what do you want?”

“Aside from a kid that sleeps through the night and multiple orgasms?”

Maya coughed.  “Most people say world peace, elimination of famine.”

“Says the woman who gets to sleep through the night when she’s not being a superhero and probably only needs the fingers on one hand to count the hours since her last multiple orgasm?”

“Umm…”  Maya thought for a moment, then looked at Amelia.  “...does a thumb count as a finger?”  Carina’s aim was unerring and she managed to throw the stress ball from her desk at Amelia so it hit her on the shoulder.

“Why am I being hit?  She’s the one that’s being...”  She took Maya’s hat off, and hung it on the plastic model of a cut-away baby in utero model Carina had on the coffee table.  “...much better.  That thing is creepy.”  Privately, Maya agreed, and generally tried to ignore it, something that wasn’t going to be easy with it being used as a hat stand for her uniform hat.

“Amelia…” said Carina again, taking Maya’s hat off the model and passing it to her girlfriend.  “...what do you want?”  She saw her friend’s mouth open, and cut her off.  “Aside from sleep and Link to give you a multiple orgasm.”

“Gossip.”

“I don’t know any gossip Amelia, I never do…” said Carina, leaning back into Maya and wrapping her hands over the unfamiliar braided cuffs of her jacket, only to twitch when she felt the buttons digging into her back.

“Not hospital gossip, I want to know why Teddy’s office has, well, a teddy in it.  And it’s got something to do with you two.”

“Why us two?” asked Carina, really frustrated by how uncomfortable her usually comfortable to lean against girlfriend was.  “This uniform is only sexy from a distance,” she huffed, finally giving in and going and sitting down on the couch next to Amelia.

“The bear has a fire department cap on it.  And she was muttering about you being different at the Station and since blondie here can’t get you pregnant…”

“Excuse me?”  Maya froze, her kit bag half way between the floor and the visitor chair in front of Carina’s desk.  “Did you say…”

“She was floaty and different and pregnant was Teddy’s idea, and since everyone’s hating you right now making them look like they suck at Christmas romance, I want to know what is going on because it’s more than puppies.”

“Oh.”  Maya put the kit bag down, frowning when the chair creaked a bit.

“They always do that, wait, how heavy is that bag?”  Amelia stood up and came over to try and pick it up, giving Carina and Maya a chance to exchange a look.  “Wow Bishop…”  Amelia reached out and squeezed Maya’s bicep, causing Maya to instinctively flex.  “....ooo, not so much Captain Softie after all…”

“Amelia…” began Carina, picking up the coffee cup her friend had put down on the coffee table, frowning when she realised it was not only empty, but a different one to the one Emmett had given her no more than an hour ago.  “Amelia!”

“Mmm?”

“How many coffees have you had?”

“That I bought?  Or that hot firefighters in uniform bought me?” asked Amelia, still squeezing Maya’s bicep.

“Why don’t you sit down…” sighed Carina, glad she didn’t have any surgeries scheduled today.  “...Maya, can you…”  She gestured to the couch.

“What?” whispered Maya, realising that as long as she kept flexing and relaxing her bicep Amelia seemed to be quite happy, even if it was extremely disconcerting.  “What’s happening?”

“I need to go see if she’s put herself down for surgery bella…”  Carina kissed Maya’s cheek, whispering.  “...please bellissima, she’s like I was but in her way.”

“Ah.”  That, Maya could understand.  “Sure…”  She kissed Carina’s cheek, then turned her attention back to Amelia, starting to unbutton her jacket.

“What are you….oh.”  Amelia let go of Maya’s arm long enough for her to slip out of the jacket and turn back to put it on Carina’s desk.  “I’m…”

“Exhausted, wishing your kid would sleep long enough for you to get enough sleep and wanting Link to blow your mind with a multiple orgasm, yeah, I get that,” said Maya simply, deciding that since her girlfriend was an awesome doctor, her diagnosis was to be relied upon and pre-existing proven treatment plans should be followed.  Or, put another way, stubborn doctors determined to work themselves to the point of exhaustion shouldn’t be assumed to know what was best for them.  “Which is why…”  Maya, just as she had done with Carina, picked Amelia up and, before the surgeon had really registered what she was doing, had carried her the very short distance to the couch and laid her down on it.  “...you have drunk far too much coffee and are going to have a rest.”

“I can’t sleep, I’m…” began Amelia, trying to sit up, which just gave Maya the opportunity to move one of the couch cushions behind her head.

“...wired on adrenaline and caffeine, yeah, I get that,” agreed Maya, standing up and quickly reclaiming her jacket, which she used as a blanket and draped over Amelia, knowing the heavy fabric would, while not as heavy as a properly heavy weighted blanket, help mimic the sensation a little.  It wasn’t something she often thought about, being fairly immune to the weight of fabric now after her years wearing her heavy kit, but at the back of her mind she had a memory of Andy mentioning it was one of the list of things Amelia had given Robert to try based on her own experience.   “Which is why I didn’t say sleep, I said rest.”  

“Oh.”  Amelia tracked Maya’s progress across the room as she went first to the office door and twisted the blinds closed, then went back to where she’d put her kit bag and opened it, taking out her turnout coat which was on the top and putting it on the floor.  “You’re good at this.”

“Good at what?” asked Maya, happy to talk about anything with her girlfriend’s best friend as long as it kept her lying down and relatively calm.

“Taking care of people.”

“No, I’m not,” disagreed Maya, taking off her tie and undoing her shirt top button with one hand while she sorted through the kit bag with her other, taking out her navy blue regular working uniform pants, shirt and t-shirt.  “I’m really bad at it actually.”  She looked back over her shoulder, seeing Amelia was looking thoughtfully at the ceiling, not all that bothered if she looked in Maya’s direction but sensing Carina might.  “I’m good at fixing things,” she continued, keeping her back to Amelia and, undoing her white shirt buttons, pulled her blue t-shirt over her head then in a split second switched her arms out from her dress shirt into her t-shirt and pulled it down to her hips.  “Which isn’t the same thing.”  She toed off her dress shoes and unfastened her belt, stealing another glance at Amelia who, while her eyes were open, was starting to look a little less animated.  “Though it can make people better, like surgery does I guess?” she asked, wanting Amelia calm but not crashing out on her, wanting Carina to be back.  “Amelia?”  She turned around, shaking out the folds in her regular uniform pants so they were quick to pull on.  “Talk to me Amelia, I’m a firefighter-paramedic not a surgeon, I like people conscious.”

“Hello…” said Amelia, turning her head slowly, watching with a clinical detachment as Maya’s legs went from black to white to blue.  “Your legs changed colour.”

“Yeah, changing my pants will do that,” agreed Maya, fastening the pants and her belt in one quick movement.  “How are you feeling?” she asked, now she was more comfortably dressed, coming back and crouching down by her friend’s head.

“Too tired to be awake…” admitted Amelia, all hint of her earlier punchy flirtation gone.  “...but too awake to sleep, even without the kids…”

“Where’s Link?”  Maya couldn’t remember if she’d known where the Orthopedic Surgeon was supposed to be over Christmas, but she was a bit surprised at how often Amelia had been around the hospital the last few days.  “Or shouldn’t I ask?”  She saw Amelia’s face cloud.  “Not asking is my favourite option by the way.”  She stood up and went back to her kit, putting her dress shirt and pants back in the bag with her shoes, kicking on her work boots and picked up her shirt.  Deciding that had probably given Amelia enough time to recover from her clearly wrong question, Maya turned back around to find the surgeon was watching her again, but she was starting to fidget.  “Hey…”  Picking up her turnout coat, she headed back to the couch, deciding the sensation of the weight of her uniform jacket had probably worn off by now, but her heavyweight bunker coat would probably still help, at least until Carina got back as.  “Here…”  She laid the heavy coat over her uniform jacket, crouching down again so she wasn’t looming over Amelia.  “...so you saw Teddy’s bear?”

“Yeah, Teddy’s teddy bear…”  That made Amelia grin, Maya’s hunch about the heavier weight of her turnout coat clearly spot on.  “...what’s that about?”  She yawned.  “Your clothes smell like Carina’s…”

“Maybe Carina’s clothes smell like mine,” pointed out Maya reasonably, putting on her navy uniform shirt, only for it to not hang right, making her realise her badge was still on her uniform jacket.  “...and sorry…”  She moved her coat down from Amelia’s upper body until she could see her silver Captain’s badge on her jacket, unfastening it.

“I’m no longer Captain?”

“You can still be Captain…” teased Maya, slipping the badge into her pants pocket and pulling her turnout coat back up so it covered Amelia’s shoulders.  “...see?”  She grabbed the sleeve of her jacket, with its braid, that was hanging down off the side of the couch, sticking out from underneath her other coat, and brought it up so Amelia could see.  “...double rings means Captain.”

“Mmm...you’re a good sort Captain Maya…” mumbled Amelia, starting to feel warm and still and not so much like she needed a drink as she had done for a few hours.  “I’m sorry I was not very nice, before…”

“You’re Carina’s best friend,” said Maya simply, not that bothered by how Amelia had been slow to warm to her the second time around, understanding where Amelia’s priorities lay.  “...and wanted to know about Teddy’s teddy bear?”

“Yeah…”  Amelia turned her head towards Maya, who had somehow managed to finish buttoning up her shirt and, except for the badge on her shirt, was looking like she always did when she was at work.

“Well ok, it’s actually not so much of a story about a bear as a story about a cap…” began Maya, shifting her feet slightly so she could kneel by Amelia to tell her the story rather than crouch.

“That’s what Teddy’s guess was…about Carina being different.”

“Ah, well she was kinda right I guess, but that’s a different story about a different cap.”   Maya saw Carina coming back along the corridor outside through the blinds, seeing she was talking to someone, but who Maya couldn’t see.  “I thought you wanted to know about Teddy’s cap?”

“Carina’s first...please.”

“Alright then…Carina’s first…” agreed Maya, happy to admit to herself that yes, in her thoughts, Carina was always first.  “I’m not very good at telling stories…but I’ll try.  It’s actually a story about tradition and family I guess...see, when we join a station, we join a family…”

“...with Bishop?” asked Bailey, surprised at Carina’s choice of chaperone for Amelia, before realising that the Captain had already been in Carina’s office, so she’d not exactly had much choice.  “She’s not exactly…”

“...a people person?”  Carina knew what Bailey meant and didn’t take offense to it, knowing that her girlfriend’s heart was big, and soft and full of love and caring but getting to it meant tiptoeing along a narrow, windy path if you wanted to avoid her spikey spots and didn’t have the short cut that Carina had.  “No, but she fixes things…” said Carina, remembering something Andy had said once when Maya had gone out for a run, leaving the two behind in the apartment.  Opening her office door carefully, not begrudging the firmness she needed to get the door to open now she knew it mattered, she stepped to the side to make it easy for Bailey to see.  “...look…”

“...and you’re asleep…” whispered Maya, realising Amelia hadn’t been listening a little while ago, and proved it when she’d started reciting fire codes a minute ago, partly because she really was that bad at telling stories but also because, as much as she didn’t mind Carina’s friends knowing about the cap, she wanted Carina to know her friends were knowing about the cap.

“Bella…”  Carina’s whisper from the doorway attracted Maya’s attention and her smile changed, grew into something so big and bright that Bailey almost wanted to put her hand up to shield herself from an intense light.

“Hey…”  Maya stood up easily and, with a final quick check to make sure Amelia was still asleep, crossed the room to Carina.  “...she’s asleep.”

“How?”  Bailey, intercepting Carina by the surgical boards outside the OR suites, had quickly understood Carina’s concern and, mentally making a note to give herself a metaphorical kicking for not noticing at a later time, had come back with Carina to her office to see what she could do to help.

“Umm, by not insisting she slept and covering her with my jackets?”  As she spoke, Maya attached her badge to her shirt.  “Is Link out of town?”

“Yeah, he does this weird thing with his parents each Christmas - they insist on seeing him but refuse to see each other.”  Bailey looked at Maya, impressed.  “She tell you that?”

“Educated guess.  Have you got some heavy blankets or something?”

“What for?”  Bailey didn’t immediately follow Maya’s change of subject.

“She’s got both my coats on her, I think the weight helps, but I need my turnout...she can have the other one…”

“You.”  Bailey’s call brought two interns to a dead halt in the corridor.  “Heavy blankets, now.”

“You have got to teach me how to do that before I get our next Probies…” sighed Maya, impressed.

“I’ll sit with her for a bit, no need us all stand here whispering.”  She knew Maya couldn’t go far from her kit, knew from when Warren had been at the Academy and coming home every day with his head full of the great new thing he’d learned, how important it was they kept their safety gear close to them if they were on shift and out of the Station.  She gestured for Carina and Maya to go out into the corridor, then closed the door carefully and went fully into the office, taking Carina’s other visitor chair and turning it round so she could sit by Amelia.

“Grazie bella…” sighed Carina, sinking into Maya’s arms as soon as they were in the corridor.

“For what?”  asked Maya, confused as to what she was being thanked for.

“For letting me serve you to the tigers.”

“Feed lions.”

“Eh?”

“It’s feed me to the lions.”  Carina’s muddle with idioms would never, ever get old as far as Maya was concerned. "She ok?" Maya realised that was a stupid question. "I mean, she's just on a caffeine high? Not actually…" She didn't know the details of Amelia's struggles, didn't want to know, but hoped she was not past a point of no return.  "... Bailey didn't seem mad." 

"Si. We did not know Link was doing his weird Christmas thing, and with the mince pies she was called back in and stayed and… But you managed to get her to start to rest, and we will help her to stay resting…and you changed." 

"Yeah, I don't hate that uniform as much as I did, but I don't like much either…" 

"Si, I think I like the idea of it more than it," agreed Carina, running her hands over the familiar textures of her girlfriend's regular workday uniform as she drew strength from the hug.   "In fact, I want to change my condition." 

"Oh?"  It took Maya a moment to remember what Carina was talking about.  “Oh, the condition you attached to giving my team a cooking lesson so they stop teasing us about our sex life?  That condition?” 

“Si.”  Carina leaned forwards and whispered her revised condition in her girlfriend’s ear.

“You know I’d have done that anyway…” pointed out Maya, not finding Carina’s request at all difficult to agree with.  “...I’m going to have to go back to the Station soon…”  By her rough guess, Andy and Emmett would be back before too long, and then she’d probably not see Carina until well beyond the end of her shift given how their shift patterns were then lining up, or rather not lining up for a few days.  “You and Bailey going to be ok?” asked Maya, reluctantly letting go of Carina and leaning against the wall.

“Bailey has a plan.”  Carina tangled her fingers in Maya’s, understanding that they couldn’t really stand in the corridor hugging for the rest of her shift.  “Are you…”  Maya’s phone went off, Carina recognising the sound it made when the text was from Dispatch.  “...a call?”  She asked, giving Maya the space to look at the phone.

“Yeah...I need my kit.”  Maya put the phone away as Carina opened her office door.  “Sorry, I need…”  Maya gestured towards Amelia and her coat, Bailey understanding immediately and lifting it up off Amelia, who was now sleeping deeply enough that she didn’t react to its removal, though it did enable them all to see she was holding onto Maya’s other jacket quite firmly.

“She’s fine…” whispered Maya, not bothered about Amelia hanging onto her uniform jacket, shoving her coat on the top of the kit bag and fastening it shut.  Picking up the bag, and remembering her mistake from earlier, she turned the bag round and stepped out into the corridor, where Carina was waiting.

“Is Andy…”

“Meeting me downstairs?  Yeah, they were on their way back already, but there isn’t time...I’ll send Emmett as soon as we’re free.”

“I’ll explain.”

“Thanks.”  Maya shouldered her kit bag, spotting a set of stairs just down the corridor and deciding, having worked out where they must exit, that it would be quicker to take them than backtrack to the elevators.  She kissed Carina quickly, then knowing she didn’t have any more time, set off for the stairs.

“Bella?”

“Mmm?”  Maya paused, and turned back to look at Carina, knowing she needed to go but also knowing Carina knew that.

“Be safe?”

“Always.  Ti amo.”

“Ti amo mio Capitana.”

And, with a final blown kiss and a wink, Maya pushed open the door to the stairwell and disappeared, just as the interns reappeared with the blankets Bailey had requested.

“Dr DeLuca?”

“Si? Oh, thank you.”  And, taking the blankets from them, she went into her office, smiling when she saw Amelia still cuddling Maya’s jacket, Bailey studying it.

“It’s a service cross…” said Carina quietly, closing her office door silently and putting the blankets down by Amelia’s feet.  “...one for every five years...Maya told me.”

“They look so smart when they wear it…” said Miranda, picturing Ben in his uniform.  “...but I…”

“...like their normal one more?” guessed Carina, reaching out and taking hold of Miranda’s hand, understanding that now it was different between them, they had a different connection now.  “Si, I do too.”

They were family, the family of Station 19.

“So tell me…” Bailey leaned back in the chair and looked at Carina, deciding that if they were going to be sitting together with a fast asleep Amelia for a while, both worrying about what the latest call for Station 19 would bring for their loved ones, she’d pass the time with some conversation.  “...what are you going to name the puppies?”