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If there’s one thing Eric hates right now, it’s the sound of Younghoon’s voice. It’s especially grating from the unforgiving ice he’s currently sprawled out on.
“Again!”
Eric wheezes as he forces himself off of the ice, lurching forward on his skates again and picking up momentum. He’s focused, just like Younghoon always tells him to be, he sees himself completing the trick in his mind’s eye. He flies through the air, tucking in tight and prays, hopes, begs some unseen God for mercy- please don’t fall again is the last thing he thinks before he fails to land the triple axel he’s been practicing for 3 weeks. He lands hard, knee buckling and before he knows what’s happening, he’s slumped on the ice again and his pride is nearly as bruised as his body.
“Eric! Were you thinking about falling again?” Younghoon shouts from the edge of the rink, slowly making his way over. “I told you-“
Eric moans from his prone position, briefly considering giving up on his dreams. “Yeah, yeah, focus, don’t think about falling- except how can I not think about falling when every single time I try I fall?”
Sure, he’s a little snippy, but he has conveniently eaten shit at least 30 times today, and Younghoon has done nothing but scream again! over and over until he hates himself. And Younghoon. He hates Younghoon a bit right now.
“Take a break,” Younghoon calls out as he quite literally does donuts around him on the ice. Eric drags himself off of the ground again, skating off towards the lockers to give himself a pep talk and remind himself just why. Why he’s even doing this in the first place, why he’s so keen on pushing himself well out of his range and abilities, and why he can’t just recognize maybe he’s out of his limits here.
But Younghoon seems to think he can help, and that Eric can do it if he just applies himself a little more.
He’s like to see Younghoon successfully land the sequence he’s been struggling with- but at the same time, he knows if he brings it up, Younghoon will leave him in the dust and bring out his numerous medals to rub it in more.
He’s sulking and rubbing at a sore spot on his hip when he finally meanders into the locker room. Making a beeline for his bag on one of the benches, he barely even notices the other person into the room until a voice speaks up.
“You’re Eric Sohn right?”
He definitely does not nearly wee himself from sheer terror, not at all, nope. He recovers quickly enough, hand over his heart like a scandalized Christian woman when he turns around, taking in the sight of Lee Juyeon in the flesh. Talking to him. Wait- Lee Juyeon knows his name, knows who he is, and is talking to him.
“That’s me,” Eric manages, struggling to keep the twitch out of his eye. “And you're Lee Juyeon.”
There’s a barely restrained awe in his voice, some sort of idolization of a hero he looked up to for years taking over his entire being. He’s basically standing in front of a legend in the making, and he can’t even land a god damn triple lutz without wobbling.
Juyeon regards him with a kind smile, headed tilted curiously and reminding Eric of the languid house cat his neighbor owns. Sometimes he sees Gom stretched haphazardly on his balcony railing and he has to physically restrain himself from aggressively rubbing his face in the belly exposed to the warming sunlight.
“I saw you practicing,” Juyeon comments idly. Eric squints at him, trying to determine whether or not this beautiful man in front of him is making fun of him or not.
“I wouldn’t call that practicing,” Eric grumbles, turning to dig through his bag. “Can’t seem to get anything right.”
Juyeon laughs softly, the sound pretty and light. “Well, maybe you just don’t have the right motivation.”
Eric snorts before he can help himself, an unattractive sort of sound. His motivation makes itself known, Younghoon’s voice echoing as he barges into the room.
“You told me to take a break, hyung,” Eric says with an eye roll before Younghoon can so much as speak. “So I am. With Juyeon-ssi here.” He gestures towards Juyeon standing off to the side, watching as Younghoon’s face brightens up considerably. A lot more than when he sees Eric, that’s for sure- something that he’s only mildly offended by.
“Juyeonie!” Younghoon practically squeals, all but throwing himself at the man. Eric blinks, confused about why he’s never known there was some sort of... friendship here. He feels a bit cheated- he could have been looking at Juyeon’s pretty eyes for at least a week more than he has, had Younghoon not been so damn selfish for once.
Juyeon takes it in stride, clapping Younghoon on the back like some sort of frat boy initiation. He even goes so far as to lean around Younghoon to meet Eric’s eyes again, a charming twinkle lighting up chocolate brown irises and a dangerously sweet smile quirking his lips.
“I would love to help you find some motivation, sometime,” Juyeon teases, an underlying sincerity playing through his words. “For real. I think I can help you, if you want it of course.”
Eric is beyond confused but extremely grateful as he contemplates Juyeon’s offer. He loves Younghoon, he really does, and he’s been an amazing coach through everything- but he can’t help but wonder if maybe Juyeon would be able to help him, too. He’s won several world championships, a household name pretty much across the world at this point- it would be foolish to turn down this opportunity.
“I would really like that, Juyeon-ssi,” Eric decides, ignoring Younghoon’s questioning eyes. The two exchange contacts quickly, Juyeon making his leave shortly afterwards.
“Don’t even ask, hyung. Let’s just get back on the ice before time’s up.” Eric leaves Younghoon behind, leaves his guards on the ledge and glides out onto the ice where he belongs.
Here is where he truly feels at home, at ease, at his happiest- and he truly hopes he never loses this. It’s easy to lose himself in some easier sequences, practicing his toe loops and his arabesques and his flips. Juyeon’s words replay over and over in his head, an offering of guidance and an extension of support.
Eventually, Younghoon joins him on the ice again, running him through rigorous sequences until he’s exhausted and having to scrape himself off the ice. The second he gets his skates off and back into his worn out high tops, he’s buried in his phone as he rattles off a message to Juyeon.
He’s ready to try anything to get better- and with a world famous skater offering to help, well, he’s not passing it up.
❄️❄️
He’s sipping idly at a hot chocolate, mittened hands holding tightly to the little holiday cup. Kevin and Chanhee are practicing on the ice, some new pair routine Changmin helped them come up with- and frankly, it’s captured Eric’s interest much more than he assumed it would. The delicate grace they move with, almost perfectly in sync with each other even during a practice run.
Their years together are definitely showing in the absolute confidence they instill in each other as they practically fly around the rink.
Sometimes Eric finds himself wondering where he would be if all those years ago he had taken up the offer from Hyunjoon, the offer to pair up and dominate the scene. But for some reason, something not quite selfishness, but bordering, he turned his friend down and set out on a journey to make a name for himself- alone.
Needless to say, choreographing his own routines and making his own music and forcing himself to get better was a struggle to do alone, which is how Younghoon found him and took him under his wing. Maybe if he had a brain more in tune to the arts like Kevin has, he could have made it. But alas, the cards have fallen in different little piles and he’s not exactly upset that his little mini group of friends takes care of him well.
He’s been a rising name in the scene since Younghoon announced he was taking over a coaching role versus competitions, bringing a brief hush over the community to hear of such a legend retiring so early. Eric knows there isn’t any drama behind it- no hidden injuries, no romantic interests (that’s a lie, but it’s not why Younghoon gave up competing,) no nothing really. He simple decided he had achieved his goals and was happy enough with the small fame he garnered.
It was never about climbing to the top, about seeing his name in lights- not like it is for Eric. He wants to be invited to the Olympics- he wants to win.
He kind of wants to be like Juyeon- something he won’t ever admit to the older man, even if they have admittedly formed a tiny bit of friendship over text message recently.
He shakes his head, clearing out his thoughts and focusing back on the spectacle in front of him. Some would kill to be where he’s at- front row seats to watch Kevin and Chanhee practice, perfecting their routine one stumble at a time, but for him, it just feels like he’s watching his friends. His extremely talented, beautiful friends- but friends nonetheless.
He laughs when Kevin fails to land a particular jump, stumbling to the ground like a newborn deer. Somehow even still, it looked graceful and he knows in the back of his mind that he definitely does not fall like that. Sometimes Eric feels out of place in ice skating- he's so boyish and clunky and he doesn’t feel as light on his feet and graceful as people like Juyeon and Chanhee.
He goes to sip at his drink again, only to pout when it comes up empty. He hadn’t realized just how invested in their practice he got, how lost in his thoughts he can get sometimes.
Eric shuffles towards the snack area, heading towards the counter to order another hot chocolate for himself. He’s reaching into his wallet to fish out his money when a hand darts in front of him, bills held tightly.
The cashier takes the money from the strange hand before Eric can even consider stopping her, and he squints as his eyes follow the long line of a sweater covered arm, only to see... Juyeon?
“Juyeon-ssi?” Eric questions, a little bit confused- he’s one hundred percent sure he has the next time slot, he had double checked his schedule at least 5 times before leaving. And as far as he knows, he didn’t have any prior plans to meet Juyeon today-
“Younghoon mentioned you were practicing today... but that you hadn’t called him,” Juyeon answers, one pretty eyebrow lifted. The lady behind the counter passes Eric his drink, and as he starts to head back towards the benches to watch Kevin again, Juyeon follows him idly.
Eric slips back into his seat from earlier, Juyeon sliding into the seat next to him with a practiced ease. “Also, please, call me hyung,” Juyeon teases before falling silent next to him, eyes trained on the two bodies moving around each other.
They sit in an easy silence as Kevin and Chanhee finish up their practice, the two of them leaving the rink with a little flourish as they skate past. Chanhee makes sure to steal Eric’s hot chocolate on the way by, sucking down a huge gulp before laughing at the scandalized look on his face. Even Juyeon looks a little bit offended, considering who inevitably paid for the drink.
“Can I join you?” Juyeon speaks up, after Kevin and Chanhee wave goodbye and take off. Eric looks up from where he’s bent over lacing up his skates, tiny pout on his face in confusion.
“Sure, I guess.” He eventually settles on, shucking off his guards and stepping out onto the ice. He warms up with a few spirals and smaller jumps, just to get himself back in the flow as Juyeon tugs on his own skates.
He’s in the middle of a sit spin when Juyeon glides past him effortlessly. By the time he’s upright again, Juyeon is watching him with focused eyes, a decisive glint in the warm brown irises.
“Do it again,” Juyeon instructs, moving away to take in the entire move. Eric blinks, a bit taken aback but shrugs, getting back into position.
He’s lowering down when Juyeon tells him to lift his free leg higher, to extend it further. Juyeon has him run through spin after spin, until Eric is a tiny bit frustrated but frankly, much more stable and confident.
“That feels better, right?” Juyeon says after Eric successfully completes a sit spin with no critiques.
He’s surprised to find that, well, simply put- it does feel better. He never really noticed how tense he had been, why part of the reason he felt such a lack of grace was purely because of the tension he didn’t realize was in his body.
“Thank you, hyung,” Eric mumbles, a little bit embarrassed over his lacking technique.
Juyeon grins knowingly, a pretty little smile. “Hey, there’s nothing inherently wrong with how you were doing it before- but you’ll lose less points for technique this way.”
Juyeon moves away, throws himself into a nearly perfect double lutz before falling gracefully into a beautiful sit spin- all the while with a blinding smile on his face. Eric can see the difference between Juyeon’s skill and his own, even from just one simple movement.
By the time Juyeon has stopped spinning, Eric is contemplating throwing all of his money at Juyeon as some sort of mentor-ship type deal- he’s a bit desperate to learn, to leech off of Juyeon’s beautiful brain and talent.
“So what are you here to practice today?” Juyeon hums, head tilted cutely to the side like a puppy. Eric nearly groans out loud at the reminder that he’s meant to practice that stupid axel that keeps kicking his ass.
“Triple axel combination- except that I can’t even seem to ever land the axel anyways, so, I guess just. Yeah,” Eric sighs, already resigning himself to a new hoard of bruising by the end of the day.
Juyeon laughs, eyes crinkling up with glee. “They were one of my toughest to get down as well. Let’s see this, then, hmm?”
Yeah, let’s try it he says. Eric mentally prepares himself to inevitably make a fool out of himself in front of his much cooler, definitely much more proficient hyung, but it’s okay. It’s a learning process, and if anyone can teach Eric how to land a triple axel without breaking his face, well. It’s probably Juyeon.
He free skates around the rink for a minute, gathering his thoughts and trying to force himself to be cool, calm and collected- but the second he gets in position to take the jump, he immediately knows it’s going to end badly. He second guesses it a second too late, too late to stop himself, and well- he ends up on his knees on the ice.
Juyeon makes a soft noise, one of almost acknowledgement more than anything else. Eric takes the hand he offers, dusting off ice shavings from his leggings.
“You’re nervous,” Juyeon starts, spoken entirely as a fact rather than a question. “I could see it, when you lead into the jump. You didn’t think you could do it, and then you didn’t.”
Eric nods, feeling almost like a child being scolded in grade school. Juyeon’s voice softens considerably when he speaks up again. “It’s okay to be nervous, but, you know you have to tackle it like you are going to succeed. If you aren’t fully committed, even if it’s a bluff, you will fall. You have to fall with confidence, though.”
And really, Eric knows all of this- it’s pretty much what Younghoon said to him when he first said he wanted to incorporate the combination into his routine in the first place. But for some reason, he can’t seem to keep his brain from panicking right before the jump- every single time.
Juyeon demonstrates a beautiful triple, coming to a stop right beside of him afterwards. “You are also shaky, and it looks like you keep switching edges- you have to turn off your brain. I know it sounds ridiculous, but if you can’t work through it with your brain, you’ll have to find a way to get through it another way.”
Eric doesn’t really get it, but part of him wonders if it’ll work. He knows he needs to get this down, and he knows he can. He just needs to get through his block.
“I’ll make you a deal,” Juyeon cheerfully pipes up, looking everything like the cat who got the cream. “If, at any point while I’m watching you practice, you can land the triple axel, I’ll take you out anywhere you want to go- on me. No matter what it is.”
Eric nearly bursts into laughter at that, the use of bribery reminding him of the way his sister used to do the same thing when they were kids. “Okay, hyung, you’re on. Hope you are ready to take me to Disneyland.”
Juyeon’s face lights up with a pretty little smile at his words, and really, Eric’s heart can’t take this. He’s just too cute.
“Let’s practice some more, I’ve always wanted to ride the teacups.” Juyeon teases, sending a little wink Eric’s way.
Eric dives into the practice, soaks up Juyeon’s words of encouragement and advice like a sponge. He makes Eric do combinations of double axels until his muscles are sore and he’s one hundred percent confident in his landings. By the time they are taking a break, idly circling the rink to give their muscles a chance to calm down, Eric hasn’t wobbled even a little bit in the last ten or so jumps.
It feels invigorating to feel an improvement so strongly, something he hasn’t felt since the first year he picked up his skates. Everything has been so slow and drawn out, a slow increase of skill barely noticeable on a day by day basis. Then he sees videos of his first recitals, his first competitions and he truly sees the growth he’s made.
He’s happy even, when Juyeon tells him its back to the triples, even when he falls. His falls aren’t quite as disastrous this time, although frankly they still hurt like a bitch and he’s already getting sore.
Under Juyeon’s gentle words and eyes, caring hands and guiding instructions, Eric manages to work out the kinks in a double axel, double loop combination- something he hasn’t really thought to practice. It’s one rotation off of his competition sequence, and it makes sense now to try and get the feel of the speed he needs, as well as the confidence.
By the end of their first little session, Eric literally throws himself at Juyeon in thanks. The older man takes it in stride, opening his arms and letting Eric aggressively show his appreciation.
“C’mon, let’s get out of here before I make you run it again,” Juyeon grins, ruffling Eric’s hair like he can’t quite resist it.
Eric pouts, but lets himself be led out of the rink and towards the locker area. He carefully sets his skates aside and stretches out his legs, rubbing at a sore spot in the muscle. He looks up when he hears a grunt and nearly loses his mind at the sight of Juyeon stretched out in a full side split, leaning forward to loosen the muscles.
His mouth is definitely still hanging open when Juyeon looks up and meets his eyes with a devious little smile. “Stretching is good for you, Eric. And I very much enjoy this part.”
He rolls his eyes at the borderline fuckboy tone in Juyeon’s voice, shaking his head and clearing any and all thoughts of just how far his flexibility can be pushed from his mind. Eventually, they make their way out of the arena as Juyeon waves a cheery goodbye to the security guards, stepping out onto the busy streets.
Eric turns, suddenly a little bit shy in the face of having to split off. “Thank you again, hyung. You really helped me today.”
It’s almost as if Juyeon can’t restrain himself from cooing and pinching at Eric’s cheek until he’s sputtering and shooing his hands away.
“Really, Eric, it’s no problem. I am happy I could teach you even a little bit.” Juyeon assures, voice trailing off in the end from a wavering uncertainty. “I would love to keep helping you, if you- if you wanted.”
Eric grins happily, nodding with a sheer overwhelming enthusiasm. They part ways not long after, Eric heading towards his cute little apartment a brisk walk away. It’s small, close to the ice, and affordable- everything he could ever want in a home.
He falls asleep that night, exhausted and limp from a good soak in the bathtub, dreaming of a soft voice teaching him, of big hands steadying him, of pretty lips so close to his.
❄️❄️
Practice sessions with Juyeon go one of two ways- either very fun with a bit of goofing off and having a good time, or extremely focused and serious. Today seems to lean towards the latter, as Juyeon barks orders at him from the side of the rink.
“Take off from the forward outside, Eric!”
“I did!” Eric wails from his perpetual spot on the ground.
Juyeon huffs, skating over to him and yanking him upright. He’s quick to show him the video they’ve been recording- and well. Hmm. That’s definitely not a forward outside take off, which, huh. Eric could have sworn-
“Seriously, Eric, you need to focus a tiny bit on your edges. Your edges have always been sloppy, and not that i’m dissing whoever taught you, but man do they need to relearn their own edges and-“
Eric speaks up quietly, loathe to interrupt Juyeon, but he does so anyways. “You’re right, I’m sorry, hyung.”
Juyeon sighs, dragging a hand down his face in exhaustion. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so rude with you when it’s not your fault your teacher was a buffoon.”
“We are gonna take a break from the tricks- I’m going to teach you the right way to stay on your edges. You’ll never land anything right if you don’t master that first. C’mon.”
Eric follows Juyeon through run-throughs of the basics- and while it should make him feel stupid and incapable, it really just lights him up from the inside out with warmth. Juyeon is clearly out of his wits here, having to basically retrain Eric from the start, and yet- he’s still so collected over the whole thing.
That day's lesson consists purely of Eric practicing single jumps off of the correct edges, landing on the correct edges, and Juyeon isn’t satisfied until Eric lands ten in a row of each jump.
It’s a long, exhausting practice, but once again- by the time he’s stripping off his skates and stuffing his feet into his worn out shoes, he’s much more confident in his own abilities. He’s been skating by on pure wow factor with the judges for awhile, apparently, his technique borderline abysmal in some ways- but with Juyeon’s help, he knows without a doubt he will become the skater he’s always dreamed of being.
⛸⛸
He meets up with Younghoon later that night, sharing a table and half a dozen beers between the two of them.
“So hyung completely made me relearn my edges today,” Eric rambles, hands waving around dramatically in his tipsy state. He nearly whacks Younghoon in the face with his wild movements, until the older gently pushes his hands onto the table.
“What the fuck, Eric, I’ve been trying to convince you to let me do that for months!” Younghoon whines, ignoring the sheepish look on Eric’s face. “I kept telling you your entrance to the lutz was off, and yet you never listen to your most important hyung.”
Eric almost feels guilty- emphasis on almost. “Hyung, you made me do that axel over and over again conveniently forgetting to mention anything.”
Younghoon huffs, rolling his eyes at the words. “Well you were supposed to know you were doing it wrong! I figured you would figure it out at some point!”
He’s a bit flabbergasted at that, and his eye definitely twitches as he stares Younghoon down. He takes a meaningful sip at his drink, squinting his eyes dramatically at the older man.
“Watch yourself, old man,” Eric eventually says, lifting his eyebrows in challenge. Younghoon lets out a flustered laugh, eyes wide and incredulous in the face of a threat that he's not entirely convinced isn't a joke.
"Either way, I'm really thankful to Juyeon-hyung. I'm a lot more confident than I was even two days ago," Eric adds, shrugging. "Whatever- I'll get it down before competition season, promise."
Younghoon waves his words away, flagging the waitress for another round as she passes. "I wasn't worried about that, really. I knew you would get it one way or another- you always do. It's why people know you. That determination is fierce, and it's a strong point of yours."
"Enough about me, hyung- let's talk about you. I heard from a little birdie you had a date last week."
The shock on Younghoon's face is hilarious, and is almost worth the spit take it earns him. It's even better, then, when the waitress brings their drinks by and Younghoon is too busy wiping the beer off of himself and the table to pay attention. Eric accepts the glasses from pretty manicured hands, happily taking the stack of tissues the lady offers as well.
"Where did you hear that?" Younghoon hisses after the waitress walks off, still dabbing at a wet spot on his shirt.
Eric cackles, a sinister little grin on his face. "I'll never tell," he sing-songs, thinking about the way Chanhee himself had been the one to tell him about their little outing. "Tell me all about it, and I mean all of it." He leans forward, chin propped up in his hands atop the table as he waits for Younghoon to deliberate the pros and cons of honesty.
⛸⛸
"I want to see your entire performance," Juyeon says, stepping onto the ice with a mission in place. "Start to finish, jumps and everything- it doesn't matter if you fail, just try to correct as best as possible for the next one."
Eric warms up around the rink, trying to extend his spirals, to warm up his muscles in preparation. He stops in the center, taking his starting position with a grace and poise coming mainly from a background in dancing that many don't know about. Juyeon starts his music at his cue, and Eric takes off like he's performing in front of a panel of judges.
If there's one thing Eric is confident in, it's his ability to put on a show. He's powerful and quick with his movements and turns, extends his spirals as best as possible, anything he can do to be the best he can. He tries his best to focus on Juyeon watching him as he sets up for the first jump, picking up speed into a triple lutz that feels clean as he lands, continuing on. He makes his way through the routine until his least favorite part nears, a small amount of anxiety settling in the pit of his stomach as he gears up for the combination.
He focuses on taking off from his forward outside edge, pushing himself up and tucking in close as he twists. He stumbles as he lands, catching himself quickly from falling and immediately moving into the triple loop. Eric finishes the rest of his routine, his finishing spin ending on a powerful note that leaves him breathless.
Juyeon claps excitedly as he glides onto the rink, wide grin on his face. "Whoever choreographed that is a genius, and your arrangement is perfect. It's a really strong routine, and honestly I'm super excited to see the full thing in performance."
Eric grins, the praise sinking into him like a breath of fresh air. "Thank you, hyung." He mumbles shyly. "I didn't fall this time, either, which is the first time in a while. It felt good."
"I'm sure it did," Juyeon laughs. "Are you flexible enough for a Biellman?"
"Not yet, I've been working on my flexibility a lot more though. It's something I hope to be able to do, one day," Eric admits. "I think I can do a half though, if I really stretch out before."
Juyeon nods, considering it. "I wonder what it would look like if you could add one into the last spin combo," he muses. "Whatever, that's something for another day. For today, we have some more work to do on those jumps!"
Eric laughs, trying desperately not to let the mental image of Juyeon in a full vertical split get the best of him. Their practice session goes by well enough after that, a consistent trial and error of his jumps until he's less likely to completely crumple on the landing.
He leaves the rink later that night a lot less sore than normal, less bruises doomed to show up on his skin the next day. One of Juyeon's words of advice pings around in his mind as he's walking home- that no matter what, he needs to remember that he needs to have fun.
And Juyeon is right- if he can't take enjoyment in the artistry, he's not going to be successful in the long run.
⛸⛸
Many sessions go by like that, Younghoon watching with focused eyes as Juyeon runs Eric around the rink with deliberate instructions and tips. He can feel the improvements every single time he steps out on the ice, though he's yet to fully stick the landing of his axel.
He made Juyeon promise that their deal only counted if it was a perfect landing, seamlessly transitioned into his triple loop. The older was easy enough to acquiesce, a knowing grin on his face.
Younghoon tells him one day that maybe he's too much of a perfectionist, and really, this isn't news to Eric. He's always been someone who strives to be perfect, or as close as he can be, and with Juyeon's guidance and advice, his technique has gotten so much better and consistent.
Sometimes, Juyeon makes Eric practice spirals up and down the ice until his legs are shaking from the strain, just to get his free leg that centimeter higher, a tiny bit straighter. Other times, he's practicing jumps and spins until he never wants to see the inside of a rink ever again.
One notable day, Eric snaps at Juyeon over one of his own mistakes and Juyeon makes him do twizzles around the ice until he finally begs for mercy around an apology.
He's always sure to treat Juyeon to something nice after days like that, a good dinner, a beer, an apology coffee on brutal days. The older man always accepts his apology gifts with a gentle smile, and no matter what, never lets the previous sessions anger hold on to him into the next.
The deadline of his first competition looms closer and closer, bringing an additional amount of stress as he tries desperately to perfect his routine. He works himself harder, often sneaking off to the rink alone to work out some of the kinks in his performance. He also takes extra time to focus on his flexibility, joining his sister in her mid-morning yoga classes to try and get his body comfortable with newer poses.
He regularly films his practice sessions as he runs through his routine, keeping track of his improvements and his messy parts to show Juyeon at the next session. All in all, he's got a month and a half left before his first competition, and he just hopes their hard work will pay off and he will be ready.
❄️❄️
Juyeon huffs at the end of a frustrating practice session, pulling Eric's attention. "Sometimes you take this too seriously. You need to loosen up, Eric."
"What do you mean?" Eric questions, rubbing at his arm self consciously.
"You're too tense, and you are thinking too much. I know you are stressing, but why don't we take a break and go do something a little different?" Juyeon offers hopefully, already heading towards the exit. Eric shrugs, following after the older obediently, mumbling a quiet apology as they swap their skates for their shoes.
Juyeon leads the way as they walk down the streets, Eric clinging onto his sleeve to avoid falling behind. "I like to do something a little unconventional when I'm too far in my head," is all Juyeon explains as they walk towards the beautiful park downtown. The streets are lined with pretty decorations and twinkling lights, clouds blanketing the sky as Juyeon makes a beeline for the center of the park.
He's a bit confused when Juyeon leads them towards the tiny little outdoor skating rink, the sound of children laughing happily and couples doing lazy circles around the loop. "This is your idea of unconventional?" Eric quips, eyeing the rough ice warily.
Juyeon rolls his eyes, ignoring his comments with a single-minded authority. "Hush, we are going to have fun. Accept your fate."
Eric can’t help but huff, rolling his eyes as Juyeon drags him towards the skate rental booth.
It’s starting to snow all around them, pretty white flakes falling through the trees and lights strung up around the park. The scene is almost magical, except for one thing.
“Hyung, we literally could have done this at the arena-“
Juyeon turns, catching Eric by surprise from the start with the sheer joy and happiness lighting up his face. “Maybe so, but sometimes it’s good to skate for fun. Just for us.”
Eric let’s himself be dragged into the magic, tugging on ill-fitting skates and stumbling onto the messy ice. Juyeon skates circles around him even now, too-dull blades and a sparkle in his eyes as he laughs at Eric’s struggles.
“What? These skates not good enough for you?” Juyeon teases, skating ahead to perform a simple toe loop purely to show off. Eric finds himself laughing when Juyeon ends up falling, not quite nailing the landing on the uneven ice.
It all goes down hill then, when Juyeon snags his hand as he passes and yanks him down onto the ice beside him. Eric tumbles ungracefully onto the ice, laugh cut short in a burst of fear that leaves him wide eyed and confused from the ground. It's Juyeon's turn to laugh at him then, eyes crinkling up in the perfect way they always do when he's at his happiest.
He gets a bit lost in thinking about how pretty Juyeon looks when he’s this happy, uncaring that he’s still sitting spread eagled on the ice. His eyes flick up to see the hand Juyeon offers, following the long line of his arm up until he meets his eyes twinkling in the winter atmosphere. It hits him then, as Juyeon is carefully tugging him to his feet, that he’s fallen a bit in love with the skater.
It’s something that sticks with him as the night goes on, the two of them goofing off and playing around like they aren’t world famous athletes and as if they don’t have a care in the world. He feels free in the best way, showing a little girl how to spin, watching Juyeon guide an older couple around the rink with hands held out carefully. It’s everything Eric needed, and he’s so happy that Juyeon brought him here- that Juyeon knew what he needed before he did.
The night ends with Eric slumped into Juyeon’s body, tears on his cheeks as he laughs with his whole being- the happiest he’s ever been. When they finally break apart at the doors of Eric’s apartment building, he doesn’t even think before he stretches up, pressing a gentle and fleeting kiss on Juyeon’s cheek. Both of their faces are mirrored tints of peach as Eric retreats into the warmth of his building with a little wave and a private smile.
What Eric misses, as he leaves Juyeon on the sidewalk, is the tiny little giggle and whispered confession into empty air.
⛸⛸
The next couple of practices go by without too much failure, until finally, on a late night Wednesday, he lands the combination he’s been working at for months. Multiple times in a row. He’s nearly in tears as he throws himself in a hug at Juyeon, laughing hysterically and soaking up the seemingly endless praises the older is showering him in.
“I’m so proud of you,” Juyeon whispers into the tousled hair atop his head. Eric clings just a little bit tighter at those words, icy fingertips clutching at Juyeon’s jacket.
“Remember what I promised you?” Juyeon continues, pulling back and grinning prettily at Eric. “We have a date to plan, don’t we?”
Eric flushes immediately at the word date, brain rushing a hundred miles a minute. “Yeah, I guess we do.”
“Let’s finish up this practice,” Juyeon teases, leaving Eric to run through his piece one last time all the way through. “Next time, I want you to bring your costume, I want to see the whole thing together, okay?”
Eric calls back an affirmative as he gets ready to start. The music starts, and he lets the feeling take over his body and leave his brain empty of anything except for Juyeon. The way he falls into the performance, flying through the turns and jumps like the professional he is.
The ending turn sequence leaves him facing Juyeon as he comes to a stop, and even from this distance, Eric can see a raw emotion in his eyes that he can’t quite pinpoint. He glides effortlessly off the ice, heading towards the lockers and carefully tugging off his skates as Juyeon follows him.
“Where do you want to go?” Juyeon asks quietly, sliding his own skates off and lacing up his shoes.
Eric hums for a minute, thinking over his options. “You said we could go anywhere, yeah?”
Juyeon laughs, a pretty soft sound that fills Eric with warmth. "Anywhere you want, it's on me."
"Well... What if I was serious about Disney?" Eric whispers nervously, biting at his lip. He wonders briefly where Juyeon's kindness ends, when the other shoe will drop and he will move on to help some other poor sap get his jumps right.
He feels silly for being so worried when Juyeon's entire face lights up, a breathtaking smile blinding him. "I was hoping you were. Let me take care of it."
⛸⛸
"I can't believe he's actually taking you to Disney World... What the fuck," Kevin grumbles, staring down his boyfriends as they mess around on the ice. "Is he like your sugar daddy or something? Can I get in on this too?"
Eric nearly spits his drink across the table, turning incredulous eyes on Kevin. "No? What the heck, hyung?"
“And besides, I can’t really believe it either,” Eric mumbles, picking at the napkin in front of him. “I don’t really- it doesn’t make sense to me.”
Kevin frowns at the tone of his voice, turning around to face him all serious and the like. “Hey, Juyeonie cares about you, you know that. He’s so proud of you and happy he was able to help you get there- of course he would want to treat you.”
Eric knows Juyeon cares about him- he would be a fool not to, but at the same time, how far does that go? Does Juyeon think about him in the same way he finds himself thinking of the older? Sometimes Eric finds himself lost in thought as Juyeon is speaking, thinking about having Juyeon in his arms at night, of sharing chaste kisses on the ice.
“I just worry he will find out, about... you know.” Eric eventually manages. He’s not sure he wants Juyeon to know about his real feelings, that he’s a bit in love with the older man.
“Well, no matter what happens, it’s important for you to remember that Juyeonie is his own person- you don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling, and you also don’t get to decide for him about that.” Kevin muses, voice firm but caring. “Just don’t be so sure that he doesn’t think about you too, okay?”
Eric shrugs, dropping the conversation as Chanhee and Younghoon come close, giggling and smothering Kevin in little kisses. He wants this- wants these things with Juyeon, or, well, something similar. He wants the love shared between them, teasing moments and fun times. He wants the happiness of the two of them in love with each other- but he’s scared to risk it all.
His phone chimes as he watches Kevin try to avoid getting smothered in between his boyfriends, looking down and seeing Juyeon’s contact flashing with a message. Thumbing into his phone, he nearly laughs as he sees the string of plane emojis filling the screen along with a picture of two plane tickets.
Chanhee leans over, seeing the message and snatches Eric's phone before he can even think about stopping him. "Awh, look, Juyeonie is taking little Eric on a trip," Chanhee coos, showing Younghoon the message. Eric feels the heat pooling in his cheeks as the two tease him, Kevin eventually joining in until he's left laughing and drowning in the good vibes his friends give him.
Later, when they are all leaving the rink after solid practicing, Younghoon tugs him aside as Chanhee and Kevin walk ahead with arms linked.
"So, you and Juyeon, hmm?" Younghoon questions, masking a genuine interest behind light teasing.
"It's not like that, hyung," Eric laughs quietly, pointedly ignoring the look Younghoon gives him. "He promised he would take me somewhere if I could nail the combination, and clearly he's keeping good on that."
Younghoon rolls his eyes at that, pinning Eric with a hard stare. "You are seriously delusional if you think Juyeon would take anyone all the way to Tokyo without feelings of some type being involved. He cares about you too, Eric," he finishes gently, intent clear.
"Just... take a second and remember you are worth love too," the older whispers, walking ahead to join the other two and leaving Eric a bit confused and lost in the background.
⛸⛸
He's sitting on a plane next to Juyeon, white knuckling the armrest even though they haven't even begun to move. Juyeon is amiably chatting with the person on the other side of him, happy as can be and none the wiser to Eric's internal plight and his very much external fear of planes. He thinks it's probably for the best that Juyeon isn't witnessing his near mental breakdown as the rest of the plane finishes boarding.
But alas, he can never have everything, and Juyeon turns to ask him a question before recognizing the wild fear in his eyes. "Eric?" Juyeon calls softly before excusing himself from his previous conversation. "Hey, c'mon, it's alright, give me your hand."
A warm, too-big hand covers his and he looks down, seeing Juyeon's hand carefully pulling it into his lap. "I didn't know you were afraid of flying, I'm sorry," the older whispers, thumbs stroking at the paled flesh of his hand. Eric shakes his head, a shaky laugh tumbling out. "It's okay, hyung, I'm fine once we get in the air... I'm just not good with the rest."
"It's a quick flight, thankfully," Juyeon tries to reassure, threading their fingers together with an easy smile. "Just try and think about all the fun we will have when we get there, yeah?"
Eric manages a weak smile at that, the thought of the full week stay in Tokyo exciting him. "Thank you again, hyung, you really didn't have to do all of this-"
"Hush, I wanted to, and nothing will change that. Stop feeling bad and enjoy it. Your first competition is in two weeks, so think of this as a treat for winning that, too." Juyeon huffs, stretching out in his seat. "I mean it, I wanted to do this with you."
Eric falls quiet after that, focusing on the sound of the flight attendants going over the usual flight safety over the speakers. The only constant in his mind right now, is the weight of Juyeon's hand in his, the heat of Juyeon's thigh under their hands, the presence of Juyeon to his right. Juyeon himself is a new constant in his life in a sea of ever changing pieces of information and lifestyle, and frankly, he wouldn't have it any other way.
Take off goes as smoothly as it can, Eric squeezing tightly at Juyeon's hand the whole time. Juyeon takes it in stride, content enough to be some form of relaxation for Eric. Once the plane is comfortably in the air, Eric smiles apologetically and tries to pull his hand back, but Juyeon meets his eyes with a soft smile and just holds on tighter.
It fills him with butterflies, leaves him feeling warm and secure and happy. Eric leans over, head resting just so on Juyeon's shoulder and closes his eyes, letting the warmth take him over. He doesn't even realize when he falls asleep, nor does he notice when Juyeon presses the barest-there kiss to the top of his head.
Juyeon nudges him awake after the plane lands, Eric blinking his eyes open from his comfortable spot on Juyeon's shoulder to see everyone unloading the upper bins. "Sorry, hyung," he mumbles, pushing himself upright and stretching out his arms.
"Stop apologizing," Juyeon laughs, reaching up and getting their bags from the overhead bin, leading Eric down the walkway with a hand resting at the small of his back. Eric tries not to flush hot under the weight of Juyeon's hand, but he can't seem to stop his mind from going everywhere at the feeling.
They stop on the way out of the airport to get some food, enjoying some street food in the bustling business of Tokyo. Eric has stars in his eyes as he takes in the sights, the distinct beauty of the city- something so similar yet different to Seoul. Juyeon's hand on him never leaves, sometimes on his back, around his shoulders, in his own- either way, it remains a brand on his flesh, a reminder of the person he's sharing the experience with.
Eric's got a week in Japan with arguably his favorite person in his life aside from his mother, and he's determined to make it memorable.
⛸⛸
Juyeon totes him all over the streets of Tokyo for the first two days, showing Eric his favorite places to eat and shop, his favorite little cafes. Eric is obsessed with the beauty both in front of him in the buildings and scenery as well as Juyeon dressed in his street clothes, dragging him around by the hand.
The third day finds the two of them wandering Disney with arms linked, laughter lost in the crowds of people. Juyeon's got a twinkle in his eye as he drags Eric towards the teacups ride, and Eric can't possibly consider saying no to a face like that. They spin until they are dizzy, the Mickey Mouse ears on their heads nearly flying off, but there's nowhere Eric would rather be- and more importantly, no one he would rather be here with.
He doesn't want to leave, as the night draws to an end, so as they make their way to the front of the park, Eric stops walking by the entrance. Juyeon turns in confusion and sees Eric talking to someone, offering his phone.
"She's going to take our picture," Eric whispers as Juyeon comes over, a pretty smile on his face. "I told her to take two."
Juyeon laughs fondly, tugging Eric in close with an arm around his shoulders as the stranger takes the first picture, the way Juyeon's eyes crinkle up when he's happy cemented in a photograph forever.
Eric weighs his options as he debates his next move, eventually deciding- fuck it. If things don't work out after this, it's not as if he didn't try, right?
He makes his move as Juyeon turns to look at him, standing up tall and pressing his lips just ever so gently against Juyeon's, fingers clutched in the collar of his coat. He only breaks away when he hears the sound of the picture, eyes blinking open to see Juyeon doing the same, albeit looking a bit dazed. Before he can think about it, Eric rushes over, thanking the stranger profusely and taking his phone back, looking at the two new pictures in his camera roll.
They look happy, Eric thinks as he scans the images. In the first one, his own face is flushed prettily in the cold air and at the feeling of Juyeon's arms around him. But the second photo- it's everything he could have ever wanted. They look like a couple, wrapped around each other the way they are. He hadn't even noticed Juyeon's hands sitting low on the dip of his waist, the way he's leaning down to meet him in the middle with the kiss.
"They look good," Juyeon whispers, coming up behind Eric and peaking at the photos. He jumps when Juyeon's chin rests on his shoulder, arms wrapping around his stomach and pulling him close. "We look good."
Eric can hear the smile in the older's voice, can feel the happiness nearly radiating from Juyeon as he holds him close. He can't help the way he feels a little guilty though, chewing at his lip as he gets lost in thought. "I'm sorry for kissing you without permission," he eventually whispers, turning in Juyeon's arms until he can see him. "I shouldn't have done that, but I wasn't sure I had the courage to ask."
"It's okay," Juyeon reassures, hands coming up and cupping his cheeks gently. "I've wanted to kiss you for awhile."
He bites back a whimper at the words, losing the battle as Juyeon leans in and captures him in a searing kiss. It doesn't matter that they are in the middle of the entrance way, wrapped up in each other, nothing matters except for Juyeon's lips on his.
❄️❄️
After that, the last two days of the trip seem to fly by, Eric only barely remembering to buy some things for Kevin at the last minute. Before he knows it, they are loading onto the plane back to Seoul and he's once again found his hand clutched in Juyeon's- but this time it's less out of fear, although it's still there, and more out of just wanting Juyeon close.
He doesn't sleep the flight away this time- instead, he takes the time to learn about Juyeon, about his likes, dislikes, the things that make him tick. He’s so invested in learning everything he can about Juyeon that he finds the majority of his fear doesn’t even click into place, a saving grace that keeps him from stressing out.
Juyeon invites him over to his place, the promise of good home cooked food and snuggling on the couch too good to pass up. The evening finds Eric curled up on the couch with Juyeon’s arms around him, sharing soft little kisses and whispers over dirtied plates and emptied wine glasses. There’s a movie playing on the tv, one neither have paid much attention to due to wandering hands and getting lost in each other.
Between the silence of the night, Eric loses himself in the taste of Juyeon surrounding him, in the feeling of his fingers on his skin. It’s a bit magical, and when they emerge from wrapped-tight blankets the next day, he’s hit with a wave of overwhelming happiness and joy that carries with him through the rest of the day.
Juyeon insists they take the time to practice, even on their “day off,” if only to see Eric blossom on the ice. He proves himself time after time, rewarded with teasing kisses and soft touches as he perfects his routine in the freezing cold air of the arena.
Competition is fast approaching, barely a week out at this point, and time after time Eric finds Younghoon watching him with eagle eyes during his practices. Even Kevin and Chanhee are there the day Eric dons his perfectly tailored costume, gliding out on the ice in the eyes of his closest friends and his lover. Juyeon has yet to have seen his clothing for the piece, and Eric can see in his eyes- even from the distance- that he’s blown away by the beauty Eric can portray.
The top of his costume is in beautiful shades of pinks and reds and whites, something that is shared in the feelings of warmth and love his music portrays, along with the aching longing of the choreography. The fabric ripples as he glides around the rink, a perfect run through of his performance, and the entire time- all he can feel is Juyeon’s eyes following his every movement. It encourages him to do better, do more, extend further, fly higher- everything he needs to score the approval of the judges.
By the time he comes to a stop in the middle of the ice, Juyeon is already skating towards him with a singular mission on his mind. Eric falls into the embrace happily, clutching onto Juyeon and smiling into the kiss.
“You look beautiful on the ice,” Juyeon whispers against his lips. “You’re going to steal the competition- I expect to see you take the world by storm after this.”
Younghoon joins them on the ice, clapping a hand on Eric’s shoulder and a bright smile on his face. “You’re totally ready for this- I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.”
Kevin and Chanhee echo their own excitement and encouragement, drowning Eric in an over abundance of praise and love. He feels light, so unbearably light, as if he could almost float away in the weightlessness. He’s surrounded in happiness and he’s one hundred percent sure that he’s ready to take the competition by storm.
⛸⛸
The day of the event leads with Eric walking into the building with his head held high and Juyeon at his side with a matching grin. He doesn’t care that other people are fawning Juyeon more than him, he knows he’s got the equivalent of a celebrity on his arm. There’s something beautiful about the way Juyeon is whispering soft little encouragements into his ear, his large hand resting comfortingly on his waist as they walk.
The day passes by quickly, Younghoon by his side as they watch each routine with focused eyes. Juyeon comments idly about what he thinks the scoring for each skater is, wincing when certain people try to land difficult maneuvers and wobble or fall.
By the time Eric’s turn is up, he’s stretched and ready to take to the ice, Juyeon sending him off with one last kiss and well wish. He takes to the ice with a flourish, the stunning colors of his costume capturing eyes immediately. With a bow to the judges and a wave to the audience, he lets himself fall into the music like he’s done so many times before.
The performance flies by before he knows it, landing his jumps and executing his spins beautifully until he’s left facing the judges with a wide, beaming grin on his face. Eric blanks out as things fall onto the ice around him, cute little toys and flowers, snatching one up as he glides off the ice towards Younghoon.
He barely makes it off the ice before arms are wrapped around him, turning to see Juyeon’s pretty smile. Younghoon drags him off after he manages to get his blade guards on, waiting as the judges work to release his score.
“You were the best, Eric,” Juyeon mumbles into his ear, staring at the little screen as the numbers go up. “You were perfect, I’m so, so proud of you.”
Eric is pretty much shaking in his seat as he waits, eyes all over the screen as he watches a replay of himself. The second the little numbers show up on the screen, Eric’s mind blanks out and he’s barely aware of anything as Juyeon jumps up excitedly. It almost feels like an out of body experience, he knows he just took the lead, but he feels like none of it makes sense in his brain. All of the training he’s worked at, paid off, paid off so wonderfully in his favor- and he’s got Juyeon by his side.
Juyeon holds him close, pressing kisses all over his face and nearly vibrating with pride as Eric makes his way outside.
“I can’t believe this,” Eric whispers, turning to face Juyeon with watery eyes. “I didn’t actually think I would win.”
Juyeon laughs softly, hands coming up and thumbing away a stray tear as it rolls down his cheek. “You deserve this, Eric, you’ve worked so hard this year.”
“But if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have stood a chance,” Eric says, losing himself in Juyeon’s gentle stare. “Thank you.”
The words come out nearly choked off around a sob, one that Juyeon quickly swallows down as he takes Eric in a whirlwind of emotions. He clings onto Juyeon as if his life depends on it, like his kisses are a lifeline, a cure, and he knows deep down- with Juyeon by his side, he can take the world by storm.