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A sweater? Or a cardigan? Or does it really matter? I’m going to be wearing my coat for most of the time anyway.
Minghao looked at the mess of clothes on his bed. He sighed, looking at the different combinations of outfits. Jun was going to be here soon to pick him up to see the lights, and here he was, stuck on what to wear.
Huffing, he grabbed an outfit and changed. Once changed, he looked into the mirror. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt, a gray, knit cardigan, and light washed skinny jeans. Minghao shrugged before he nodded, feeling good enough with the outfit before he turned off the light in his room and walked to the bathroom.
As Minghao was combing through his hair, he saw a facetime call coming through his phone. He put the comb down and quickly answered the call, immediately seeing Jun’s face on his phone screen. Even with his brown hair casually laying flat on his forehead, he still looked handsome.
“Hey,” Minghao greeted.
“Hello,” Jun replied, “So I just left my apartment. I’ll be over in about fifteen minutes.”
“Okay,” Minghao said, “You couldn’t just text me that?”
“I could’ve… but I don’t get to see your face with a text.”
Minghao tilted his head before he playfully smiled.
“I guess that’s a perk,” he said, “I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay bye.”
The phone call ended, and Minghao put his phone back down on his bathroom counter.
Minghao was ecstatic to see his boyfriend. It had been a couple of weeks since he’d seen Jun, since he had traveled to film for his drama. Although they texted all the time and facetimed every night, it wasn’t the same as having Jun near him. Now that Jun was back from filming, Minghao was excited to spend some time with him. Since it was Christmas time, Minghao wanted to go see the lights, and Jun promised they’d go together.
After Minghao was satisfied with how his hair looked, he put his comb down and headed to his room. He turned off the light in the bathroom before heading to the living room to wait.
He scrolled through his phone, looking at the many pictures he and Jun had taken. There were pictures from when they went to the art museum, cat cafe, and the numerous times they went to eat out at restaurants and after-dinner walks.
Minghao smiled at all of them, remembering the pictures and the moments behind them. They were all good memories in Minghao’s mind.
It was something Minghao did when Jun was away and he missed his boyfriend more than normal. But it was different this time, looking through the pictures. His lovely boyfriend would be here soon within arms reach, not just in the pictures, and Minghao would have him close for as long as he wanted to until Jun had to leave for filming again.
He then heard a knock at the door.
Minghao jumped up from the couch and walked over to the door. He unlocked the door and opened it, seeing Jun standing on the other side, holding a bouquet of roses.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” Jun replied, “These are for you.”
Minghao smiled, looking at the roses before he leaned in to place a kiss on Jun’s cheek.
“Thank you,” he said, “Want to come in for a bit before we go?”
Jun nodded. Minghao opened the door wider to let him in. Jun walked in as Minghao closed the door. He went to find a vase. After finding one under his kitchen sink, he filled it with water as Jun sat down at his small kitchen table.
“Are you excited?” Jun asked.
“Of course. I saw pictures from when Mingyu and Wonwoo went and sent me pictures. The lights look really pretty this year.”
Minghao could feel his face, almost embarrassed to admit this out loud.
“But, of course, I’m most excited to spend time with you. I missed you a lot these past couple of weeks.”
Minghao looked back to see Jun fondly smiling at him.
“I really missed you too. It’s why I wanted to take you to see the lights when I got back. I know it’s something you look forward to every year.”
“It is, and it’s even better this year because we get to go together, finally. No fussy schedules or emergency filmings, just us. I look forward to it.”
“Me too. At this point, nothing will stop me from spending time with you.”
Minghao smiled, his face flushing red as he turned off the kitchen faucet. He walked over and grabbed the bouquet of roses from Jun’s hands and put it in the vase before setting it on the kitchen table. Minghao took a second to admire the new vase of flowers; it was a nice addition to his table setting.
He then walked to the hallway closet, where he grabbed his jacket and gloves, while Jun followed and waited at the door.
Once he zipped up his jacket, he met Jun at the door.
“Ready?”
Jun nodded. And with that, Minghao turned off the light and followed Jun out. They walked down to the main level and then to Jun’s car. Once they got in and seatbelted, Jun turned on the car and drove off.
“So how was filming?” Minghao asked.
“It went well, but it was also a lot of work. Some parts were hard to get down, but after a few takes, we were able to finish scenes. Fortunately, they’ve given us a break for Christmas and New Years, so we’re not starting filming again until next year.”
“That’s good,” Minghao replied, “So how many of those days do I get to spend with you?”
Jun stopped at a stoplight. He turned his head to look at Minghao, his breath getting caught in his throat. He smiled before he held Minghao’s hand and kissed it.
“Every day, until I have to leave again.”
Minghao’s face flushed before looking away.
“I look forward to it.”
The light turned green, and Jun continued to drive.
After driving for a bit more, Jun turned into a parking lot and parked his car in the first spot. Minghao looked out the window. He could see Christmas lights as far as he could see. Friends, families, and couples were walking around, looking at the lights, smiling, and taking pictures.
“Shall we go?” Jun asked.
Minghao nodded. They stepped out, Jun locking the car after them. They walked towards the display of lights and onto the main path.
They walked past the lights that were hung on the street lights as well as light sculptures that lined the path. They saw many that were in the shape of hearts, ornaments, Christmas trees, snowmen, Santa Claus, and even characters they knew from popular tv shows and movies.
Towards the middle of their walk, Minghao could start to feel a pair of eyes on them. He turned to where he felt the stare. There, he saw two girls staring, pointing, and giggling towards them.
Minghao looked away, hoping they would just walk away, but instead, a moment later, Jun turned around. Minghao turned around as well, seeing the same two girls from earlier standing right in front of Jun.
“Wen Junhui?”
Jun smiled at the two.
“That’s me.”
Once Jun confirmed his identity, their jaws dropped to the ground.
“Woah, you’re even more handsome in real life.”
“So I’ve been told,” Jun said with a confident smile.
The girls squealed.
“We really like your dramas, all of them,” one of the girls said.
“Thank you,” Jun said with a nod.
“Do you have any new projects? Can we expect a new drama soon?” The other girl asked.
“I don’t want to reveal anything too soon, but I am working on a few things. I hope you’ll like them.”
The girls squealed again in excitement.
“Can we get a picture with you?”
“Of course.”
They squealed again before Jun stepped away from Minghao leaned in for a selfie. They took a few, doing hearts and ‘v’ signs. Minghao tried not to feel jealous.
It was more often than not that a fan would spot Jun. Jun would talk for a bit, make them smile, laugh, and then take a few pictures with them. Minghao knew that Jun was truly grateful for his fans and wanted to show them his appreciation by taking the time to talk to him. The realistic part of him knew it was strictly a fan and idol interaction, nothing more, because Jun assured him that.
But the hidden, insecure part of him told him that, one day, Jun might really meet a fan he really likes, that he’ll find someone that is kinder, smarter, and more beautiful than Minghao. Jun might like them so much that he would leave Minghao for them. Minghao knows it’s stupid of him to think that, but he still can’t help but think it, not when he saw how, admittedly, cute Jun’s fans were.
Once they were done taking pictures, Jun said his goodbyes before he and Minghao walked away.
“Sorry, Hao. You know… my fans.”
“I understand. It’s fine. At least now we can be alone.”
They continued walking. While they walked past the Christmas lights that were designed to look like a reindeer, Jun turned around again. Minghao turned with him; he mentally groaned seeing yet another group of girls.
“Wen Junnie?” One of the three girls asked.
Jun smiled and nodded.
“See? I told you it was him!” Another one of them said.
“It was the back of his head! Of course I didn’t know if it was him or not!” She exclaimed.
“Hi,” the last girl said, shyly waving, “We’re really big fans of yours. We’ve been supporting you since your first drama.”
“Oh really? Sorry for my first drama. My acting wasn’t the best there,” Jun said, scratching the back of his head.
“It was really good!” One of the girls insisted. “You were really good for a first time actor. Even if you weren't, people would still watch it because you’re so handsome.”
“That I know,” Jun said with a smirk.
The girls squealed as Minghao mentally rolled his eyes.
Now they’re going to ask if they can take a picture.
“Can we take a picture with you?”
There it is.
“Of course.”
Jun pulled away from Minghao once again, taking more pictures with the same poses but with different fans.
“Thank you,” they said.
Jun smiled and nodded before they walked off, squealing as they looked over the pictures they just took.
Jun sighed in relief before turning to Minghao.
“Now, where were we?”
Before Minghao could even reply, another group of friends approached them. Jun greeted them with a smile, saying the same thing as before when they asked if it was really him.
Really? Well, that’s it.
Without another word, Minghao quietly huffed, seeing Jun mouth “sorry” before he walked away. He stood on the side of the path, scrolling through his phone as emotions bubbled in him.
He knew he shouldn’t be acting like this. These were Jun’s fans. They didn’t see him all that often, so of course they would be excited to see him in public. Of course Jun would talk to them; they were his fans, the fans that supported him, promoted him, and helped him get to where he was now. Minghao knew it was Jun’s dream to be an actor. When they met and started dating, Jun was still a struggling actor trying to get his name out in the world. Now, three years into their relationship, Jun was one of the biggest actors known in Korea, which was what Jun always wanted. Minghao knew should be grateful for Jun’s fans because they helped Jun achieve his dream, but he couldn’t help how he felt. He hadn’t seen Jun for a few weeks, almost a month. And it wouldn’t be long until Jun would have to fly out again. This was his time with Jun, and for fans to interrupt it… he felt angry.
It didn’t help that all of his fans were pretty, kind, and cute when they laughed at Jun’s comments. Minghao would find it hard to believe if Jun didn’t think at least one of them was cute.
He knew his mind was entering a bad spot, but the thoughts overtook his rationality, and it wasn’t long before the negativity took over.
And then, all of a sudden, the lights weren’t beautiful anymore.
“Hao?”
Minghao looked up and saw Jun was not standing next to him.
“Ready to walk again?”
Minghao sighed, crossing his arms.
“Actually, could we just go?”
Jun furrowed his eyebrows.
“Is something wrong?”
“No. I’m just… kind of tired now.”
Jun tilted his head before he sighed.
“Well… okay, if you want to.”
Minghao nodded, confirming his choice. And with that, Jun led them out of the path of lights and back to the car. Once they were in, Jun drove off. The drive was silent, leaving Minghao to gaze out at the streetlights they passed.
When Jun stopped the car, Minghao was ready to walk out, go to his apartment complex, and spend the rest of his evening wallowing in his anger and insecurity, but instead, he looked out and saw Jun’s apartment building.
“I thought you were taking me home.”
“Well… I thought you’d like some dinner. I have some leftover noodles if you wanted any.”
Minghao’s stomach growled. It wasn’t until now that he realized that he was hungry. He could eat, and noodles did sound good.
“Okay.”
They got out. Jun locked his car before taking Minghao’s hand and leading them into the apartment building. When they reached Jun’s apartment, Jun unlocked the door and opened it, closing and locking it again as they took off their shoes. After Jun took their coats and put them in the closet, he led Minghao to the island. Minghao sat on one of the stools while Jun went to warm up the noodles.
Minghao watched as Jun put noodles in two different bowls before putting them in the microwave. He liked how the red turtleneck sweater and black jeans looked on Jun, but he was too upset and bothered to fully appreciate how good Jun looked in it.
After heating them up in the microwave, Jun came to the island with two bowls and two pairs of chopsticks. Minghao said a quiet “thank you” before taking one of the bowls. They started to eat.
It was silent, until Jun spoke up.
“So… do you mind telling me what’s going on in that head of yours?” Jun asked.
“It’s nothing much,” Minghao replied before filling his mouth with noodles.
“Oh come on, Hao. I know something’s wrong. You were so excited to see the lights, and for us to just leave suddenly like that? It doesn’t make any sense. Plus, you have your pouting face on.”
Minghao sighed,
Damn it, Jun… for being good at reading my facial expressions.
He swallowed his noodles before he put down his chopsticks.
“You’ll think it’s stupid.”
Jun put his chopsticks down and leaned on the island, giving Minghao his full attention.
“I won’t; I promise,” Jun said, “Now tell me what’s bothering you.”
Minghao sighed again.
“I just…”
Minghao didn’t know how to convey his thoughts in the best way.
I’m selfish for you and want you to myself for a bit without a fan walking up to you and asking “oh my gosh is that Wen Junhui?” On top of that, I feel insecure and I’m worried about our relationship even though you’ve assured me several times that we’re okay but I’m still insecure that you’ll leave me to be alone.
Now how to say that in a coherent sentence?
“I’m upset , okay?” Minghao said in an outburst.
Well, that works too.
Jun jumped, but continued to listen.
“This is the first time I’ve seen you in three weeks, and we were going to spend time together, just you and me. Then, of course , all of these girls had to come and talk to you and ask for pictures, during our quality time. And I tried to be understanding and wait, but they kept coming. And of course all of them are pretty and cute and giggly and… and I can’t compete with that. And one day you might meet a fan you really like, and you’ll leave me to be with them.”
(Minghao didn’t mean to say the last sentence, but in the midst of his insecurity, he couldn’t control what was coming out of his mouth.)
Minghao, heavily breathing after his outburst, leaned forward, his forearms resting on the island.
Jun sighed. He heard as Jun stood up from the island and walked over to him.
“Hao, look at me.”
Slowly, Minghao sat up and turned his body away from the island and towards Jun, his eyes meeting Jun’s. Minghao gazed into his eyes as Jun grabbed his hands.
“You know none of that is true, Hao. Yes, my fans are sweet and adorable, but the fact is… none of them can compete with you , no matter how many of them I meet. You’re the kindest, sweetest, most adorable boy I’ve ever known. You’re the most passionate and big-hearted boy that I think about every day and night, when we’re together, when we’re apart, and when I’m away filming. You’re the boy I fell in love with, and continue to fall in love with every day. The way I feel for you… no fan will ever be able to compare to that.”
Minghao's eyes slightly widened, hope filling them.
“Really?”
“Really really,” Jun assured him.
Jun sighed.
“But I should’ve known how much this time meant to you, and for that, I’m sorry that our time together got interrupted. I didn’t think so many of my fans would be at the lights display. I’ll plan a more private date next time, so we’re not interrupted. Sounds good?”
Minghao smiled and nodded. Jun beamed before he stepped closer to Minghao, their lips lingering over each other.
“You have nothing to worry about. You have my heart, Xu Minghao, and there’s no one will that can take it like you have.”
Jun then draped his arm around Minghao’s waist, pulling him in for a kiss. Minghao smiled before he held Jun’s face in his hands and kissed back. Jun stood in between his legs, tightening his hold on Minghao’s waist, deepening the kiss.
Jun pulled apart, resting his forehead on Minghao’s. He opened his eyes, meeting Minghao’s eyes.
“I only have eyes for you, you know that?”
Minghao smiled and nodded.
“Now I do.”
Jun leaned in again, kissing him once again. Minghao wrapped his arms around Jun’s neck, pulling him close, running his hands through his hair as Jun’s hands continued to hold his waist.
Minghao mentally laughed at himself for getting so jealous. He had nothing to worry about. Jun was his, and he was Jun’s. There was no one that could pull them apart.
Not when they kissed like this, and felt all of those unexplainable feelings they thought they could only read about in books.