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It starts when Hyunjin wakes up with a pounding headache. It’s nothing unusual, and he’s about to take a couple painkillers and just chalk it up to staring at his laptop screen until 2 am when it happens.
Hyunjin sneezes. And then he sneezes again. And again. And suddenly, he’s unable to stop the sneezes that just keep exploding out of him, over and over and over.
By the time Hyunjin stops sneezing long enough to take a breath, he’s resigned to the fact that he officially has a cold.
Goddammit. And after he’d almost managed to survive an entire semester with perfect health. Then again, it was only a matter of time before his feeble immune system succumbed to some kind of illness or another. But still, this really couldn’t come at a more inconvenient time for Hyunjin.
Hyunjin sighs, as he reaches for the box of tissues by his bed, thinking it over. Yeah, he’s definitely going to have to bail on movie night with his boyfriend, Jisung. Damn. Jisung had been so excited to watch the crappy straight-to-DVD film he’d obtained from a website Hyunjin suspects was a questionably legal source, and eat their way through Jisung’s (substantial) stockpile of snacks.
But by the time Hyunjin has helped himself to half of him and his flatmate Seungmin’s medicine cabinet and cocooned himself in the blankets of his bed, he knows that he’s not going anywhere anytime soon today.
Reluctantly, Hyunjin reaches for his phone, knowing it's better to let his boyfriend know sooner rather than later.
[hyunjinnieeee]
hey i’m really sorry but i think i’m going to have to cancel on movie night :(
i forgot about an essay due on tues and i rlly need to get it done :(
i’ll make it up to you tho, promise!!!
The lie doesn’t sit well with him, but he knows it’s for Jisung’s own good, because as much as he loves his boyfriend he does have a tendency to needlessly worry over Hyunjin. On more than one occasion he’d let slip he hadn’t eaten yet today, or that the stress from his coursework was unbearable, and Jisung had turned up at their flat, takeaway and hugs ready and waiting. Hyunjin loves it when Jisung does that, make no mistake, but he can’t help but feel slightly guilty at taking time out of what he knows is a very busy time of year for his boyfriend. And besides, it’s just a mild cold. Nothing Jisung ever needs to know about.
It’s a few minutes before Jisung responds, and Hyunjin is beginning to worry he’s upset his boyfriend when his phone finally buzzes.
[squirrel bf]
ur busy? :/
so ur not in ur bed sneezing a lung out rn?
Huh? How on Earth did Jisung know-
[squirrel bf]
seungmin told me
said he saw u “downing a bottle of cough syrup like ur life depended on it”
That fucker. Hyunjin was going to kill him. He should’ve remembered that Jisung and Seungmin tended to study together on Friday afternoons.
God, he still wasn’t used to that. It had been a surprise to everyone, most of all Hyunjin, when his usually-slow-to-open-up flatmate and his overly-friendly boyfriend had met and immediately hit it off. A pleasant surprise for sure (and he’d never admit it, but watching Jisung pull giggling fits out of his normally quiet best friend makes his heart feel warm), but it also had the unexpected side effect of the two of them combining to do what they do best: worry about Hyunjin.
Well, he’d been officially caught in his lie, the only logical way out was to downplay it and hope Jisung buys it.
[hyunjinnieeee]
it’s just a mild cold dw!!
i’ll be better in a couple days
just don’t want to give it to you :(
[squirrel bf]
u want me to come over?
Hyunjin pauses. Should Jisung come over?
Hyunjin considers it briefly, weighing up the pros and cons in his mind, but decides against it. He’s really not that sick, and plus he really doesn’t want Jisung seeing him like this. They’ve only been dating a couple months, and although he’s certainly seen him not at his best, he’s definitely never seen him like this. Hyunjin caught a sight of himself in his bedroom mirror earlier, and it wasn’t pretty. Bleary eyes, snot everywhere, and a bright red nose from the amount of tissues he’s already gotten through.
Yeah, Jisung doesn’t need to see him like this.
[hyunjinnieeee]
no no it’s ok dw!!
i’ll be fine, promise <3
[squirrel bf]
u promise? :(
[hyunjinnieeee]
promise!! <33
[squirrel bf]
alright
get well soon <3
[hyunjinnieeee]
<33
Hyunjin sighs in relief, hoping Jisung is able to get back to his studying without stressing over him or his stupid cold. Studying with Seungmin. Hyunjin glares angrily at his phone at the thought of that. That reminds him. Seungmin, that snitch.
[best flatmate ever]
i hate you
traitor
[seungshine 🌣]
It was for your own good.
You’ll thank me later.
[best flatmate ever]
???
What the hell was Seungmin on about?
Hyunjin waits, but Seungmin doesn’t respond. Hyunjin locks his phone and leaves it on the bedside table, and with nothing better to do he lets his eyes shut. It's not long before he enters a deep, cold-induced nap.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
It’s at least an hour later when Hyunjin returns to consciousness after an unpleasant nap that does nothing for the pounding pressure in his head. Groaning wearily, he reaches for his phone, only to realise that there’s something heavy resting on his chest.
Wait. Not something. Someone?
“Jisung?” Hyunjin yawns, squinting to make out the face of the person sat atop him in the curtain-induced darkness. “What are you doing here?”
“Seungmin gave me the keys to your flat,” Jisung murmurs, nothing but concern in his eyes as he glares right at Hyunjin. “And thank God he did! You told me you were fine!”
Oh God. It was sinking in now. Jisung was here, in his flat. Jisung was seeing him like this .
“I am fine!” Hyunjin groans, turning over to press his face into the pillow. Oh god, I probably look like such a mess right now. Seungmin was so dead for this. Doubly dead now, in fact.
“Oh really? Because you sound like you can barely breathe out of one nostril, and your nose is bright red, presumably from this mound of tissues all over your bed?” Jisung counters, throwing a used tissue at the back of Hyunjin’s head for emphasis.
Hyunjin yelps in fake agony, and he doesn’t even need to see Jisung to know he’s rolling his eyes in response.
“Or maybe,” Hyunjin bites back, rolling back over to glare right back at Jisung, “It’s because a tiny, boyfriend-shaped source of annoyance is sitting on top of me?”
Jisung huffs in annoyance, but takes the point, and slides off Hyunjin’s chest to perch on the edge of the bed closest to Hyunjin.
With Jisung suddenly so close to his face, Hyunjin remembers the disaster that he looks like right now and pulls the covers over his face, fighting back the sneezing fit he feels coming on.
“You didn’t need to come over,” he mumbles into the blankets, not able to look Jisung in the eyes, “I know you had a lot to work on at the library.”
“Hey,” Jisung says gently, brushing his fingers through Hyunjin’s dishevelled bed-hair poking out from where Hyunjin has burrowed himself deep into his blankets. “It’s alright, I got through a lot this morning already,” he points out.
Hyunjin makes a strangled noise in response, his raspy throat making words fail him, that he’s sure roughly translates to I don’t believe you. Jisung seems to get the message anyway, snorting at Hyunjin’s attempt at communication.
“Seungmin is like, ridiculously smart,” Jisung points out. “I got through like twice the words I needed to write for my tutorial today, so it’s fine, baby,” Hyunjin huffs in unspoken acknowledgement, poking his head back out to catch Jisung watching him with almost unbearable fondness. Hyunjin’s cheeks go red before he can hide himself again, and he quickly coughs in an awkward attempt to cover it up.
If Jisung notices, he doesn’t say anything, poking at Hyunjin’s nose now he’s within reach.
“And besides, I could hardly focus on my stupid assignments when my beautiful boyfriend was on death’s door, could I?” Jisung laments, with an unnecessary amount of over-dramatic hand gestures.
“You are so ridiculous,” Hyunjin rasps, whacking at Jisung’s arms to get him to stop as he launches a dramatised tale of how he couldn’t just leave his boyfriend to die, he was so young, had so many things left to do-
“Jisung!” Hyunjin hisses, jabbing him in the side forcefully. “I get it! You could just admit you were worried about me,” he teases, not missing the way Jisung’s eyes dart to the side at that.
“Uh-huh,” is all Jisung says, before leaning over to plant a quick kiss on Hunjin’s burning forehead. It’s warm, and it’s brief, but Hyunjin can’t help the warm feeling that spreads through him at the contact.
Maybe it’s not so bad after all that Jisung is here, despite the disastrous state of him and his hair.
“Alright! Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, from now on, I’m taking care of you. Your very own guardian angel.” Jisung declares, pulling on Hyunjin’s admittedly very red nose for emphasis.
“I'm telling you, you don’t need to do this!” Hyunjin whines. “I’m f-” Hyunjin is cut off by his own sneezing before he can convince Jisung otherwise.
Jisung gives Hyunjin a pointed look, and hands him a fresh tissue anyway.
“Okay drama queen, I get it, you’re fine.” Jisung teases gently. “Now tell me what kind of soup you’d like me to get! I’m going to go to the store and grab some more cold medicine. Seungmin told me someone used up most of your supplies this morning.”
“Jisung, you don’t need to get me soup, don’t bother-”
“Hyunjin.” Jisung cuts him off with a hand over his mouth. “Tell me what goddamn soup you want right now, or I swear to god I’ll lock you in this room to rot. And you know you won’t be able to count on Seungmin to let you out.” he says seriously, drawing his hand back to allow Hyunjin to reply.
Hyunjin sniffles, “I probably wouldn’t be putting your hand so close to my mouth, you know. I’m infectious.” He adds a fake cough for emphasis. Jisung rolls his eyes in response, and crosses his arms, giving Hyunjin a look that tells him he’s not going to get rid of him anytime soon.
God, when did Hyunjin get lucky enough to find a boyfriend that cared about him this much?
And maybe it’s the look of genuine concern in his eyes that gets him, or the fact that Jisung gave up his precious studying time with bonafide genius Kim Seungmin, but Hyunjin caves. “Tomato.” he mumbles reluctantly, “And can you get me some of the nice hot chocolate they have too?”
“That’s more like it,” Jisung grins. “Okay, you stay right there, sleeping beauty. I’ll be back before you know it!”
“I’ll pay you back!” Hyunjin shouts after him as Jisung sprints out of Hyunjin’s bedroom, not willing to entirely concede quite yet.
“Only if you can catch me!” Jisung yells back from the hallway.
Hyunjin can hear him scrambling with his keys and what sounds like one of Hyunjin’s potted plants being knocked over in Jisung's rush to hurry out the door.
And then he’s gone, the front door slamming shut and leaving Hyunjin to the silence of his room.
His phone buzzes a few seconds later.
[seungshine 🌣]
You’re welcome :)
Ugh. Well, maybe he did have to thank Seungmin for this one.
He makes a mental note to buy him a coffee or something next time they’re out for lunch. Only after he thoroughly lectures him about asking permission before giving keys to their apartment to his boyfriend, of course.
Hyunjin swears he only closes his eyes for a few moments, but it has to be several minutes later when he’s jolted awake by the front door of his apartment slamming shut. “How’s my big baby doing?” Jisung yells from the hallway.
“ Urghhhh ,” Hyunjin groans from where he’s once again cocooned himself inside his covers.
“Here, take this.”
Jisung shoves a cold glass of water and two tablets into his hand before he can even object. Hyunjin obeys wordlessly, too tired to fight back anymore, tipping his head back and swallowing.
“Good,” Jisung says with a smile, patting Hyunjin’s head affectionately. “Now take this.”
Hyunjin feels something warm and soft pressed into his hands, but before he can question it Jisung is gone.
Huh? There’s a small, brown teddy bear in Hyunjin’s hands. It’s the softest thing he’s ever felt. He runs his thumb over the bear’s worn fur, noting how the bear is old, but clearly well taken care of.
Was this Jisung’s?
“Jisung?” he rasps as loud as he can. “His name is Peter!” Jisung yells back from the distant kitchen. “Look after him!”
Hyunjin clutches the teddy bear - Peter - to his chest tightly at that. The bear smells distinctly of Jisung, a mix of coffee and laundry detergent. Like warmth. Hyunjin lets out a sniffle, but this time, it’s not from the cold. Jisung brought him a teddy bear? A well-loved childhood teddy bear, if the slightly worn look of the bear is anything to go by. Hyunjin tucks Peter into his blankets and tries to compose himself before Jisung gets back and sees him crying over such a stupidly small but meaningful gesture.
Jisung returns a few minutes later, tomato soup in tow. “Here you go,” he says with a grin, handing him a bowl, “Eat up!”
Hyunjin does as he’s told, Jisung watching carefully as he finishes off the soup.
“Happy?” Hyunjin asks, yawning as he snuggles back down into his bed and wraps his arms around Peter. “Very happy,” Jisung smiles back. “Now, get some sleep, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin nods in response, far too tired to argue, the warmth of the soup already making him feel sleepier than ever.
“And move over,” Jisung adds after a pause. Hyunjin raises an eyebrow in question. “Make room for me too, dummy,” Jisung explains, tearing off his hoodie and jeans as Hyunjin watches in surprise.
“What?” he says, sliding into the bed next to Hyunjin. “You didn’t think I was just gonna make you sleep on your own, did you?” Hyunjin yelps as Jisung deliberately put his ice-cold feet right on his legs, Jisung cackling in satisfaction.
“You can’t!” Hyunjin whines, kicking at Jisung gently under the covers, “You’ll catch my cold if you share with me!”
Jisung laughs, already kicking him back in retaliation. “I’ll be fine, baby. My immune system’s made of strong stuff! Plus, no bacteria would dare infect a body this good looking.”
“It’s a virus.” Hyunjin huffs, but doesn’t protest as Jisung slides an arm around his waist and tugs them together.
“Hmm?” Jisungs hums in his ear, close enough to make Hyunjin shiver. “It’s a virus,” Hyunjin says again. “Colds are viruses. Not bacterial.”
“Wow!” Jisung says, pressing a warm kiss to his neck. “My boyfriend is so smart. I’m so lucky!”
“Shut up Jisung, that’s like basic levels of biology-” He’s cut off by Jisung pressing a kiss to his mouth, hands cupping his chin gently. It’s slow and sweet, and it feels like a lifetime passes before he breaks away to take a breath.
“You’re definitely going to get my cold now,” he points out as he stifles a sneeze.
“I think I’d do a lot more for you than risk catching a stupid cold,” Jisung says softly.
Suddenly, Hyunjin is glad for the darkness of the bedroom, hiding the blush that spreads across his face.
“Now, get some sleep! For real this time.”
Hyunjin presses closer into Jisung, surrounding himself in his warmth with his head tucked under Jisung’s chin, still clutching Peter tightly to his chest.
A few minutes pass, and neither of them say anything for a while. From the slow and steady rise of his chest Hyunjin thinks Jisung might be asleep already, but he whispers anyway into the darkness. “You really didn’t have to do this, you know.”
“I think I’d be a terrible boyfriend if I didn’t.” Jisung murmurs back sleepily, squeezing Hyunjin’s hip for emphasis.
“No, I-” Hyunjin pauses, shifting to turn around and face Jisung, struggling to find the right words. “I feel bad that you’re always going out of your way to do stuff for me. It’s unfair-”
“Hyunjin.” Jisung cuts him off suddenly. “Can I ask you something?”
“I-,” Hyunjin stutters, taken aback at the sudden change of pace, “Sure? I mean, ask me anything you like,”
“Do you really hate it when I try to take care of you like this?” Jisung whispers, so softly Hyunjin barely catches it.
Was that what Jisung thought? That Jisung’s endless kindness made him uncomfortable?
“I just-,” Hyunjin mumbles, “I mean, I don’t hate it. Not at all. I really like it when you take care of me, it’s just…” he trails off, searching for the right words.
“It’s just?” Jisung prompts.
“It’s just, I can’t help but feel like I’m stealing your time and your money when you do all these things for me,” Hyunjin admits, feeling guilty. “I don’t know how to feel like I deserve someone as good as you I guess. And I don’t know how to not feel like I’m a burden when you’re always dropping everything to come help me, I guess.”
Jisung just stares back at him for a while, a strange sort of contemplation shining in his eyes. Hyunjin shifts slightly. Shit, did he say something wrong? What if Jisung had finally understood that Hyunjin was a waste of his time and him and his stupid insecurities had chased him away for good, what if-
“Hyunjin.”
He starts as he feels a cool hand cupping his chin, interrupting his self-destructive train of thought.
“First of all,” Jisung begins, true sincerity shining through in his voice. “You’re not ‘stealing’ anything from me that I didn’t give out of my own free will, understand? And you are never a burden to me, okay?”
Hyunjin isn’t sure he does, but he nods anyway because he’s sure that’s what Jisung wants him to think.
“Maybe you don’t really believe that,” Jisung smiles ruefully, “But I’ll keep telling you until you do.”
“And I can’t help but wonder what makes you think you’re not deserving of all the kindness and happiness in the world,” he continues, words so sincere Hyunjin can feel tears pricking in his eyes. “Because I look at you and see someone who deserves all that and more. So get ready for a lifetime of this, because I don’t plan on giving up any time soon,” he promises.
How did he get so lucky? Because Hyunjin knows it can’t be due to anything he did that Jisung is saying those words about him with such affection shining in his eyes that it makes his chest hurt.
He must be extraordinarily lucky, he decides. Lucky, because there’s no other way someone like Han Jisung came into his life like this and filled it with so much love that Hyunjin feels like his world will never be the same.
“I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it then,” Hyunjin smiles, “And I’ll do my best to become someone that lives up to how you see me,” he promises.
Jisung looks like he’s about to protest, but Hyunjin cuts him off before he can. “Can I ask you something too?”
Jisung nods wordlessly, wide eyes questioning.
“Why do you like doing all these things for me?” he asks, barely daring to look Jisung in the eyes to see his reaction.
This, he has to know. To understand what makes Jisung feel like he can drop his entire world in half a moment just to be at Hyunjin’s side when things get hard, problems big or small.
It only takes Jisung a few moments to reply. “Well, I do all those things because I love you and I like making you happy,” he says simply, like it’s the most obvious thing.
Like it’s easy for him to love Hyunjin.
Hyunjin stills in shock. I love you . Was that the first time?
“You love me?” Hyunjin whispers back, not sure he’s hearing things right.
“Yeah,” Jisung says warmly, no hesitation on his face. “I love you, and I’d take care of you all gross, sick and snotty a hundred times if I had to.”
Hyunjin pokes him in the stomach for that, Jisung yelping in mock pain. But though the words are playful, Hyunjin feels the truth that Jisung puts behind them.
“I love you too,” Hyunjin says, surer than ever now that the words are out loud. “Thank you for taking care of me.” he says with sincerity.
“Any time,” Jisung says, pulling him close so Hyunjin is pressed against his chest. “Now go to sleep, baby.”
It was easier said than done, Hyunjin thought, with the whirlwind of thoughts racing around his mind. He has a boyfriend who loves him.
And maybe he didn’t feel like he deserved the earnesty of that love, but Jisung’s arms wrapped tightly around his body are an unspoken promise that he’ll be there for Hyunjin every day until he believes it.
So get ready for a lifetime of this , Jisung had said.
Hyunjin can’t wait.
Burrowed in Jisung’s chest and surrounded by his warmth, sleep finds Hyunjin quickly, and he drifts off feeling happier than ever.