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It starts with the new Korean tutor assigned to Felix.
Apparently PD-nim had been in a bad mood and in the heat of the moment, wanted Felix to get through the large, frankly boring Korean textbook he had at a much faster pace.
"Good morning Felix," the new tutor introduces himself. "I'm Mr. Lee. Fun how we have the same last name. Take a seat."
Felix smiles politely, takes his seat, and he enjoys his first day with the man. He isn't too harsh with the coursework or homework, cracks jokes, and makes enough small talk for Felix to be at ease with him.
The next few days are a little different. Mr. Lee's stares linger on him, their fingers brush when pointing to the same page, and there's something...off. Felix doesn't have enough of a reason to be concerned, so he says nothing.
The class takes less effort than vocal or dance practice, so he looks forwards to it anyways.
"How's Korean class going for you?" Seungmin asks one day after their group dance practice, complaining about how he never remembers his English lessons despite practicing whatever he had learned on the same day, and on subsequent days.
"Pretty good. I think I'm making progress," Felix says with a smile, at peace with his next class being Korean after a long day of work. He already brushed off the incident from last class in which he could have sworn the tutor had intentionally touched his butt while passing by.
"You were always great at self-study," Seungmin muses. "I'll see you at home. Later."
Felix leaves the practice room, content with his productivity for the day. He opens the door to his language class and lays eyes on the teacher. He's welcoming, inviting, so Felix sits down and thinks nothing of how Mr. Lee moves to sit next to him rather than opposite him at the table.
They exchange greetings, and the first ten minutes go by as usual. Felix reviews his previous lesson, only this time the older man places his hand on his, guiding his finger under the phrases he wants emphasized. Felix shrugs off the momentary discomfort; he's had to touch and guide members through dance moves before, and vice-versa. There should be nothing wrong with the current skin contact.
Still, he cannot relax completely until the man no longer has a slightly firm grip on his fingers. The tutor pours a glass of sikhye out for himself, and one for Felix. "You must have had a tense day today, here's a drink to help you relax."
Felix likes the traditional rice drink. It's refreshing and he buys it often. So he takes the glass with a grateful smile.
The first sip is weird. He makes no change in his facial expression at first, but furrows his eyebrows at the next few sips. It tastes more bitter than usual, the edge somehow familiar.
"Is there anything else in this...?" He asks, silently realizing the taste in his mouth is alcoholic.
"Just something to warm you up and help you unwind. You can relax today, I was thinking of saving the rest of the lesson for later."
Before Felix can process what is going on he feels two hands resting on his shoulders.
"You're so tense," Mr. Lee murmurs, massaging him lightly.
"Actually, teacher-nim, I'm pretty tired." Felix leans over to grab his bag, catching a glimpse of the man's eyes on him. Suddenly the air is static and a chill races up his spine.
"You could sleep in here, I won't tell on you." The tutor winks, and all Felix can think of is the way those eyes are on him, the way the man licks his lips and smiles widely, the way he doesn't feel safe and nothing feels right anymore.
"We could just do as we like. You and me." Felix feels the hot breath on his ear, lips too close to his skin, hands sliding down over his torso in what looks like an innocent back hug. In reality, his fingers stretch low, tracing the outline of his waistband under his shirt.
It makes Felix's skin crawl.
"Actually, if class is cancelled today," Felix swallows to soothe his drying mouth - he feels as if he'll lose all his words in the feelings that swirl in his stomach at the man's drawl, "I have to meet Chan hyung in the studio as soon as possible. There's something important we have to do, I'm sure you understand."
He blurts out the words in as composed a manner as he can before slipping out of the door, not missing the scowl or the gaze that follows after him and seems to bore holes into the door long after he is gone from the room, the hall, that section of the floor.
Those eyes are hungry.
He runs to the farthest place he can find in the building while dialling Chan's number, nearly cursing out loud as the leader fails to pick up and he runs into someone.
"Felix? Don't you have class?"
Hyunjin's voice.
Felix could sob. He shakes his head and masks his internal turmoil with a tight smile, though he knows Hyunjin noticed his broken expression for a split-second.
"Uh, class is cancelled," he exhales. He realizes he's shaking a little, his fingers nervously wriggling by his sides.
"Did something happen? Did you get scolded?" Hyunjin sounds concerned and Felix wishes he could explain everything but can't find it in him to do so.
"I didn't get scolded, the teacher just has other plans." Devious plans, he thinks, refraining from physically shuddering. "Can we go home? I have nothing else to do."
Hyunjin nods. "Everyone apart from Chan hyung left already. I just finished locking up the dance studio. Come on, we'll ride together."
Felix could sob (again) at how Hyunjin asks no questions, merely accommodating for whatever he needs. He moves away when Felix flinches at him for leaning too close, he smiles brightly when they make eye contact, he heads to their dorm slowly so Felix doesn't have to catch up while trudging onwards, struggling to stay afloat in his head.
"Jinnie, I-I might regress," Felix squeaks, tears pooling in his eyes just as Hyunjin unlocks the door.
"Right now? What happened, haengbokie?"
They step inside and Felix can't pretend to be okay for any longer. He shuffles out of his shoes, presses against the wall and sinks to the floor, curling up.
By now the pair have the attention of the nearest members.
"Hey what-what's going on?" Jisung's expression becomes one of concern as he watches Felix cry. Jeongin gets on his knees and looks over the sofa as well, frowning with worry.
"I have no idea. He wanted to come home so I brought him with me." Hyunjin drops his bag and crouches to meet Felix's level.
"L-Lixie wan' appa an' mama!"
Changbin enters the living room, not expecting the scene in front of him when he glances up from his phone. "Felix? What's-why is he crying?"
"We don't know. They just got here," Jisung tells him.
"No touch!" Felix yelps, inching away when Hyunjin goes to hug him. "No touch, feel icky. Wan' mama n appa."
It takes Changbin some effort not to curse in front of Felix at the timing. "Minho hyung just went to shower."
"Chan hyung's still at the studio..." Hyunjin trails off. "Lix can you tell your hyungies what's wrong? We want to help you be comfy."
Comfort. Felix can imagine being in soft pajamas snuggling Minho, Chan, and his giant Ryan bear plushie, drinking from a bottle with nothing but love and safety surrounding him.
It feels out of reach for him right now because all his mind wants to replay are the unwelcome touches from earlier.
He whimpers, not liking the way his big boy t-shirt and jeans restrict him. He doesn't have it in him to head to his room and change, his energy dissipating with every passing moment. It's too much effort. Nor can he ask for help or cuddles when any contact makes him flinch away.
He keeps crying until Jeongin is pulling Minho and Seungmin into the room. His phone rings right then and Hyunjin picks up for him, talking into the device in a hushed voice.
"Mama," Felix sniffles, positioning Minho's arms around his waist as soon as he crawls into the older dancer's lap.
"Shh baby, I got you. Mama's here, what's wrong?" Minho asks, looking around the room. Everyone looks as clueless as he is.
Meanwhile, Hyunjin nods and puts Felix's phone on speaker.
"Lixie it's Channie, baby."
"Appa!" Felix cries out. He struggles to speak between sobs. "Appa, feel icky. M-meanie man touch Lix an' make feel uncomfy, wan' appa an' mama bu' feel bad!"
There is a deafening silence as everyone tries to comprehend his words.
"He's not okay to touch," Hyunjin tells Chan, breaking the silence first. "He's sitting with Minho hyung, but we don't know how to help him without touching him. He's too little to do things himself."
Chan sighs audibly. "Lix my strong, brave, precious baby? Are you listening?"
Felix hums, wiping his eyes.
"I'm coming home right away. Are you with mama? Is that comfy?" Another hum. "Perfect! Can you let mama help you out? You need some better clothes and a lot of love for the ickiness to go away, but we need you to say yes to us helping you first."
"Okay," Felix mumbles, snaking his arms around Minho. He feels a little safer, and taps on his caregiver's arms to ask for a proper hold. "Mama help."
Minho complies, petting him in the way that makes him feel loved. "I'm here."
"Mama? Bubba baf?" Felix whispers.
"You're okay with that? Okay sunshine. I'll be extra gentle."
Hyunjin takes the phone and finishes the rest of the conversation with the leader as Minho goes into full I'm-in-charge-since-Chan-isn't-here mode.
"I'm taking him for a bath. Someone get him clothes, someone make him a warm bottle when we're done, and I'm going to need a blanket and some stuffed animals on his bed. You know where his collection is."
He effortlessly picks Felix up off the ground and carries him away. The others pair up and go to do as he says.
Soon Felix is in his favourite oversized clothes. He leans back onto Minho, letting him brush his hair while waiting for his bottle of milk. "Mama, rock?"
Minho hums, patting his thighs. Once Felix is seated, he sways with him until Changbin brings him his bottle. Jisung and Seungmin each bring their own stuffed animals and join him at the foot of the bed, watching Minho cradle Felix and ease the bottle into his mouth.
Next comes Jeongin bearing Felix's pacifier. He sits closer with worry in his eyes while clutching the soother. He can't take knowing one of his fellow members is hurting inside.
Hyunjin enters when the bottle is half empty and the others are sprawled over the bed, more relaxed than when they had come in. He toys with Felix's curling toes and boops his nose, shuffling to the middle of the bed.
When the bottle is empty and Felix's eyelids start to droop, they think that Felix won't tell them the full story today.
Then, finally, Chan returns home.
He all but runs into the bedroom and hugs Felix (and Minho, since he's still holding him), apologizing profusely for the wait.
Felix hums, wiggling a bit before sitting up between his two caregivers.
"I'm squished," he giggles, putting his arms around them so they don't move away. The warmth is welcoming. He pulls himself out of headspace easily now, willing himself to tell them everything. His members are patient, and don't interrupt as he explains every detail from earlier.
They end up in a cuddle pile afterwards, with at least two of them crying. (Jisung smacks Seungmin in the back of the head for handing him a tissue, which only makes them tear up further.)
"If I had known I would have punched him," Hyunjin mutters, "Right then and there. How disgusting of a person can someone be?"
Changbin squeezes his hand and nods with similar sentiment.
Jeongin looks ready to murder the offender, his eyes narrowing into intimidating black slits.
"Guys I'm okay now, really, now you guys know and well, tomorrow will be better than today, I hope." Felix shrugs and forces a smile. "Can... can I be small again?"
After a chorus of affirmations, Felix sucks his pacifier while pressed between his appa and mama. It's as if they are a comfort sandwich, smothering him with love and safety until he falls asleep thinking happy thoughts.
If he sleeps through a few phone calls and a meeting Chan has with the staff, so be it. If he doesn't have to be present while they review security camera footage and exchange less than formal words, all the better.
He never sees the man again, and he doesn't get assigned a new personal tutor.
The best part? The members remind him he's special and loved without crossing any boundaries.