Archive of Our Own

It’s a lazy evening in their unusually peaceful dorm when Juyeon returns from his personal training time. They’ve just ended their comeback promotions, and it feels like time has slowed down, at least for a little while. 

Unsurprisingly, Juyeon already kind of misses the adrenaline that the promotion period brings for them, no matter how tiring and backbreaking it may be. But for now, he’ll rest.

He attributes the peacefulness to most of their members not being at home. He left Hyunjae and Jacob alone in the gym to go back to the dorms earlier after finishing his sets, and he thinks he saw Chanhee, Changmin and Sunwoo practicing at the company earlier. Like himself, most of the members are workaholics, and never take a total break from working at all.

With most of the members out of the dorm, Juyeon is surprised to find a certain blonde sprawled out on the bottom bunk of Chanhee’s and Eric’s shared room, so quiet he wouldn’t notice him if he didn’t pay close attention.

Juyeon stands at the door of the room for a few seconds, silently admiring the boy that has drifted off to sleep with his handphone - still playing a drama Juyeon doesn’t recognise - still in his hands. Tiptoeing inside, Juyeon can’t help but smile affectionately while trying his best to take the handphone out of Eric’s hands without waking him.

Unfortunately, Eric is a light sleeper and his eyes flutter open as soon as Juyeon comes close, eyes taking a few seconds to register where he is and what’s happening around him.

“You’re back?” he croaks, stretching like a cute puppy.

Instinctively, Juyeon’s hand goes to ruffle Eric’s hair and coax him back to sleep, well-aware that their energetic youngest hasn’t gotten enough rest the past few weeks, “Go back to sleep. I’ll put your phone on top of the drawer for you. Want me to turn on the AC? You look hot.”

Eric shakes his head, mildly confusing Juyeon as to what he’s rejecting. He makes grabby arms at Juyeon, wanting his phone back, “‘s okay. I wanna finish the episode. It was getting really interesting last I remembered.”

“What were you watching?” Juyeon, curious, but still gives in to Eric. 

Eric sits up, his bed hair sticking up in the wildest of ways but Juyeon doesn’t have the heart to point it out. “Start-up. It’s just as good as Changmin hyung said it was going to be,” Eric recounts, rewinding the drama to where he last stopped before falling asleep.

Juyeon’s not a big fan of dramas, and always finds himself losing interest in the plot halfway through. Still, he faintly remembers Eric whining about not wanting to start on this new drama Changmin had been gushing about constantly during their promotions, citing reasons like he wouldn’t be able to sleep without bingeing the entire season. Now that they’re officially on a break, Eric has very obviously dedicated his entire purpose in life to finishing this drama.

Noticing Juyeon’s silence, Eric scooches his body until he’s pressing onto the wall in a position that can’t possibly be comfortable for him, “Want to watch it together, hyung? There’s enough space for both of us if you don’t mind a little squeeze.”

Juyeon’s quick to say yes, then remembers where he just came from, “I’d love to, but I’m still sticky from the gym, and you wouldn’t like that.”

“I don’t mind,” Eric lies through his teeth. “Not when it’s you.”

And really, what affirms Eric’s love for Juyeon is the fact that he’s willing to forgo his entire life mission of never letting any unclean member set a single finger on his bed for Juyeon to come and lay down beside him so that they can watch a drama together. Not many words are needed, and that’s okay.

Caressing Eric’s right cheek with his thumb, Juyeon can only giggle at the other boy’s determination, “You’re going to regret it later if I get in. I’m going to take a bath.”

Eric makes a face, knowing that Juyeon is right.

“Fine,” he sighs. “But promise you’ll come join me after?”

“Promise,” Juyeon says, habitually grabbing the remote control for the AC in Eric’s room on the way out and turning it on. 

Later, when Juyeon comes out from his bath and has changed into a comfortable hoodie to join Eric in watching his drama, he’s not surprised when Eric has drifted off once again. Though a little disappointed, Juyeon doesn’t take it to heart. And this time, he manages to sneak the phone out of Eric’s hands without waking him. 

He helps to pull the covers over Eric’s body, not wanting the other boy to catch a cold. Then, he closes the door as quietly as he can before pondering over what to order in for dinner.

//

“Hyung, look at this,” Eric nudges Juyeon’s side, commanding his attention. They’re watching a movie in the living room with a few of the other members, but no one is really paying attention. 

At some point, the movie became white noise as some members started a random UNO game, while others like Eric and Juyeon buried their noses into their phones. He looks over to Eric’s screen to find the other boy scrolling through Tik Tok (which he still hasn’t exactly figured out how to use but won’t admit because he’s afraid of the other younger members calling him a boomer.)

“There’s this trend going on where people make heart necklaces out of Lego pieces,” Eric helpfully explains the short video to Juyeon. He watches attentively as the boy in the video shows the viewer (him) how exactly two grey Lego pieces form a heart when put together.

He looks back up at Eric, not quite understanding why Eric would choose to show him this video in particular, “You want one?”

“No,” Eric rolls his eyes, quickly scrolling down to the next Tik Tok video. “Just thought it was cheesy.”

If this was Juyeon 6 months ago, he definitely would have taken Eric’s words at point blank. But now, he’s a lot smarter, 10 times more observant, and a connoisseur in the language of Eric Sohn. (A lot of this he owes to Kevin and Jacob who have patiently coached and made him into the boyfriend he is today.)

Clearly, the younger boy has taken a liking to this cheesy trend of having matching Lego brick necklaces that form a heart when put together.

“Tell me where to get one,” Juyeon gets straight to the point, ignoring Eric’s blatant lie. “I’ll get it for you.”

“I don’t want one,” Eric squirms under Juyeon’s incessant questioning. “I don’t even know where to get one. It’s just a stupid video.”

Denial , Juyeon scoffs.

“Let me see it again,” he insists, and when Eric moves away to avoid him, Juyeon playfully lowers his voice, “Show me, or I’m gonna get mad.”

For a moment, Eric gets scared at the possibility of angering Juyeon with his actions, but relaxes when he realises Juyeon’s just joking. He shoves Juyeon away for real this time, “Go away, hyung. I said it was just a dumb video!”

Skillfully trapping Eric between his arms on the fortunately empty couch, Juyeon leans in to hold Eric’s gaze.

“I’m giving you one last chance, and don’t even think about lying to me, where do I get one of those Lego heart necklaces?”

Just when Eric opens his mouth and Juyeon’s heart blooms at the thought of Eric giving in, there’s a shrill screech from the floor.

“Sangyeon hyung! Juyeon and Eric are flirting on the couch!”

“Ji Changmin!” Juyeon turns around, shocked that his best friend would blatantly sell him out like that. Eric takes the chance to shimmy out of Juyeon’s grip, promptly running to his room and locking the door behind him, leaving Juyeon to deal with the aftermath.

“Juyeon, we agreed on this. No cheesing in the public eye,” Sangyeon just sounds very bored as he has no choice but to respond to Changmin’s complaint as the eldest and their leader. Juyeon turns red from embarrassment, sputtering, “But hyung I- we weren’t even-”

Sangyeon’s tired eyes are Juyeon’s cue to shut up. He turns angrily to Changmin, who has happily gone back to playing UNO with Younghoon, Jacob and Sunwoo, unaware of the utter betrayal he has done to Juyeon. As much as he loves his friend, Changmin can be downright evil sometimes and even though Juyeon has the patience of a monk, he won’t stand for this disrespect.

While Changmin is focused on the game and plenty oblivious to his surroundings, Juyeon takes a sneak peak at the remaining two cards in Chamgin’s hands as he comes dangerously close to winning the game.

Like a lion waiting for the perfect time to pounce on an unaware baby deer, Juyeon waits for Changmin’s turn to come before yelling, “Ji Changmin has a yellow 4 and 5 left!” before sprinting to the safety of his room and locking the door behind him.

As expected, Changmin’s death scream bounces off all the walls of their dorm and Juyeon prays they won’t get another noise complaint from their neighbours while simultaneously silently apologising to the members who have to face Changmin’s wrath as a result of Juyeon’s reckless actions.

He jumps when heavy knocks come from the other side of the door as Changmin spills swears as clear as day.

“Ya, I can’t believe you, Lee Juyeon! You’ve changed ever since you started dating Eric-ie!”

Juyeon rests his back against the door, happy that he’s escaped death for yet another day. Unconsciously, he grins at Changmin’s parting words.

His friend is right, a lot has changed ever since he nervously confessed to Eric one night over supper, not knowing how his words would impact their close friendship and the team. Juyeon swore he would bring his feelings to the grave with him as he was convinced Eric would never feel the same way, and until today, he still feels the butterflies fluttering their wings in his stomach when Eric had bashfully told Juyeon he felt the same way and that he was willing to try.

“I really, really, like you too hyung,” Eric told Juyeon in a hushed voice that night while all the other members were in deep slumber, all worn out from late night practices. Only Juyeon had awoken to find Eric awake as well, and he offered to cook some of Eric’s favourite ramen, even though he knew very well the other boy had been put on a strict ramen ban before their comeback.

“Hey, I told you many times to chew on your noodles before swallowing,” Juyeon chides after watching Eric down his ramen like water. He might end up having indigestion again, Juyeon worries, mind immediately tuning out to focus on finding out where Chanhee last kept the digestion pills for Eric’s inevitable upset stomach.

“Hyung, you’re not listening to me,” Eric groans. “I just said I like you too - I’m not going to say it again.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” Juyeon blinks, turning his attention back to the boy in front of him. He’ll look for the pills later. “Are you sure about this, Youngjae-ah? I don’t know what you’re expecting to come out of a relationship, because I haven’t been in one in a long time. And well, you’re-”

You , the word dies before it can leave Juyeon’s lips.

Eric’s not some junior Juyeon developed a crush on in school, or a barista he thought was cute in passing. He’s not just someone Juyeon can easily profess his feelings for; not when they’re in this industry, where about a million things could go wrong.

They’re the closest of friends, and at some point, Juyeon did try to convince himself that his feelings for Eric were purely because he thought of the younger as a brother. Obviously, that didn’t work out too well, otherwise he wouldn’t be sitting down in front of Eric at 3 in the morning confessing his feelings over ramen.

“I want to try,” Eric’s eyes blaze with fiery determination. “I don’t think I could go back to normal, not after this.”

Juyeon knows he couldn’t, either. Before, he could conceal his feelings when he was under the impression that he was in a one-sided love. Now, knowing that Eric wants him in the same way he does is enough for their friendship to never be the same again.

“Okay,” Juyeon nods, hands going to awkwardly squeeze Eric’s arm. “Let’s try this out. You and me.”

“ Hyung ,” Eric’s monotonous tone frightens him. The petulant boy stares at Juyeon’s arm, and he wonders if he’d made the wrong move. He blinks, moving to hold Juyeon’s hand up to his cheek, “We’re dating now. So stop treating me like I’m just a friend.”

Juyeon finds himself laughing (as softly as he can so they won’t wake the other members) at the antics of the silly boy. He cups Eric’s chin softly, feeling his heart melt into a mess when Eric looks back up at him with expectant eyes. 

“Stop that,” he chides, with no malice at all.

“Kiss me, hyung.”

With three simple words, Juyeon feels his resolve melt away in an instant.

“If you insist.”

//

Juyeon finds Kevin sitting down on the living room floor, bent over and way too focused to notice the commotion some members have raised in the kitchen as they argue what the right way to cook kimchi fried rice is.

“Hey Kev,” he decides to join his friend when he realises the colourful beads Kevin has set aside. It’s a hobby Kevin recently picked up during their previous comeback. Waiting for performances to start is a pain in the ass, and Juyeon is always in awe of how Kevin looks for ways to keep himself occupied.

And really, the people that benefit the most from Kevin’s pure, unrivaled, artistic talents are the members themselves. Juyeon himself has been gifted two bead bracelets from Kevin, and even though he’s not the biggest fan of cutesy accessories like Changmin or Chanhee, he likes the way Kevin breaks into the biggest smile when he wore the bracelet onto stage one day.

“Hey,” Kevin quips back, acknowledging Juyeon’s existence but still way too into his zone to start a separate conversation.

Juyeon watches Kevin’s deft fingers string different beads together for a while, until a genius idea pops into his head.

“This is a weird question, but do you think people sell Lego pieces as accessory pieces?”

That catches Kevin’s attention. He finally straightens his back to give Juyeon a puzzled expression, nonetheless answering his question, “Lego pieces? I don’t know, I’ve never seen anything like that. Why the sudden interest?”

Juyeon dances around the topic for a little while, embarrassment finally catching up to him. Finally, he realises that it’s just Kevin. Kind, loyal Kevin who wouldn’t make fun of Juyeon for wanting to do something nice for his boyfriend.

Scratching his neck bashfully, Juyeon can only avert his eyes when he says, “Well, Eric showed me a Tik Tok the other day. He says he doesn’t want one, but I’m thinking of getting us one of those matching Lego necklaces? Those matching ones that form a heart when you put them together.”

“Aw,” Kevin coos, “Look at you, Juyeon-ie. Who would’ve thought?”

“I’m leaving,” Juyeon announces, way too ashamed to continue the conversation. Truth is, all the members know about him and Eric and thank god, support them with their entire hearts, but it’s just not something they talk about casually. One, out of habit to protect the two of them, and two, Juyeon thinks they might still not be used to the fact that two of their closest friends are actually dating.

Other than the fleeting teasing from Hyunjae, Changmin, and Sunwoo and affectionate smiles from Sangyeon, Younghoon and Jacob, no one really asks Juyeon hey, how’s it like dating Eric? So Juyeon returns the favour and usually refrains from putting them in an awkward position by not bringing it up in the first place.

“I was just joking, come back!” Kevin grins, pulling Juyeon back down to sit with him. “Show me a picture, I’m sure I could find it somewhere on the internet.”

Kevin sets to work quickly, more eager to help than Juyeon would’ve thought. Turns out, the internet has already begun capitalising off the Tik Tok trend and they bookmark a few online shops selling the exact thing Juyeon was looking for.

“Look at you smiling like a lovesick puppy,” Kevin comments off-handedly, pointing out the unconscious grin that Juyeon has plastered all over his face at the small victory.

Juyeon doesn’t deny or confirm Kevin’s statement, and starts to filter through the few listings online, trying to find out which has the shortest shipping time because well, the faster it comes the faster Juyeon can give it to Eric and the faster Eric becomes happy. It’s a simple equation in Juyeon’s head.

“You think Eric will like it?”

“Let’s just put it this way. If anyone gave me half of a Lego heart, I’d cry and marry them on the spot,” Kevin pretends to wipe a fake tear from his eye as a cherry on top of his dramatic statement.

Before Juyeon can say his thanks to his friend for helping him out, the front door unlocks and in comes Eric to playfully wrap his arms around Juyeon. Thankfully, Juyeon skillfully locks his phone before Eric’s curious eyes can spoil his own surprise. 

“I got you ice-cream,” Eric says as a greeting, opening the black plastic bag in his hands to reveal a bunch of ice-creams Juyeon assumes he must’ve gotten from the convenience store nearby. Kevin reaches in as well, until Eric slaps his hand away, the distinct clear sound echoing throughout their dorm.

“Sorry Kevin hyung, Juyeon hyung gets first pick,” Eric smiles sweetly as if he didn’t just almost bruise Kevin’s arm. 

“You little gremlin-” Juyeon swears he sees Kevin turn red from anger for the first time in a long while. He laughs nervously, trying to dispel Kevin’s anger, “Hey, it’s okay, Kev. You can pick first.”

It appears Eric senses that he’s in danger as well, from the way he slowly unslots his arms from around Juyeon’s waist and backs away. 

“Get back here you devil!” Juyeon’s words are thrown into the wind when Kevin starts chasing Eric with a pair of art scissors in his hands, screeching “Whatever happened to ‘bros before hoes’? You ungrateful boy- you forgot who raised you-!”

Juyeon just shakes his head in disapproval, wanting to take neither side in this lose-lose situation. He picks out his favourite choco cone and a rainbow cone for Eric before offering the rest to the other members in the kitchen, smiling sheepishly. 

“Ice-cream, anyone?”

//

With the hustle and bustle of the idol life and living together with nine other men, Juyeon and Eric get much, much less alone time than normal couples usually do. Then again, they’re not like normal couples. 

Juyeon learns to be thankful if he at least gets to steal Eric away from their makeup artists or stylists for a mini cuddle session in the corner of their waiting room while waiting for rehearsals to start. And even though they’re always together, they don’t always get to act like boyfriends. Most of the time, they’re group members who will point out each other’s mistakes during dance practice. Sometimes, they get to be friends who will offer the shower to each other first after a tiring day. Very rarely, they’re lovers with no boundaries between them.

None of them say it out loud but both of them know: their priorities lie with the group, then their relationship.

“Hyung!” a cheerful voice pierces through the thunderstorm, bringing Juyeon back from the depths of his daydream. The last thing Juyeon expects to see on this dreary day is Eric jogging towards him with an umbrella in hand, navy hoodie wet from the wind blowing the rain onto his clothes.

Eric doesn’t seem to notice his soaked clothes, grinning from ear to ear as he stops in front of Juyeon, “What’s with that look on your face?”

“Oh, nothing,” Juyeon replies, puzzled. “I thought I called Haknyeon to bring me an umbrella. I didn’t know you were back.”

While Juyeon returned to go see his parents for the weekend, Eric said he was going to go shopping with Chanhee, and Juyeon didn’t expect to see the boy till late at night because he knows just how out of hand Chanhee can get with getting new clothes.

“I got back early,” Eric explains, holding out his damp sweater paws. “Told Haknyeon hyung I’d come get you instead. How could you leave the house without an umbrella? It’s been raining almost everyday.”

Nagging sounds like something a normal couple would do with each other, Juyeon silently rejoices. “Well, I have you, so I don’t have to worry about that, do I?”

Unamused, Eric frowns, “Well, I’m not going to be here forever. You have to get better at looking out for yourself.”

And of course, Juyeon knows Eric doesn’t mean that literally, but it still breaks his heart to think about the possibility that Eric wouldn’t be by his side anymore one day. The reality check hits him like a meteor, and Eric sees it in his eyes almost immediately.

“Hyung, that’s not what I meant,” Eric corrects himself quickly. “I’m sorry, okay? Come on, let’s go.”

Eric grabs Juyeon by his wrist and holds him close as they walk away from the shelter of the bus stop near their dorm, shielding Juyeon more from the rain than himself. Juyeon says nothing the rest of the way, too busy flooding his mind with thoughts that shouldn’t be there in the first place.

The thunder rumbles, synonymous with Juyeon’s heart.

//

Juyeon towels his hair almost robotically. He just took a warm bath, but still doesn’t feel any better. There’s a heavy feeling in his chest that just won’t go away ever since the thought of Eric being further away than Juyeon can ever reach was bestowed upon him.

And as if reading Juyeon’s mind, his bedroom door creaks open and there stands Eric, looking extremely tiny in a new, dry hoodie and his rounded glasses. “Hi,” he quips. “Can I come in?”

Forcing a smile, Juyeon makes space on his already small bed for one more.

“Sure.”

Eric joins Juyeon on the bed, pulling the covers over them for some form of comfort from the scary thunderstorm outside. It’s so silent for a moment, Juyeon can almost hear his heartbeat thumping in his chest. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings earlier,” Eric says in a small voice after a while, unsure of how to brooch the sensitive topic. “You know how I am- I just talk without a filter and I should’ve known better than to say something like that.”

Juyeon knows he shows signs of being a hopeless romantic more than anyone. Childishly clinging onto the concept of “forever” should tell him that. Yet, it still breaks his heart to know that he can’t really have Eric the way he wants. At least not right now.

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Juyeon insists.

Slinging an arm around Eric’s waist to bring their bodies closer together, Juyeon whispers his deepest secret into the other boy’s ear, the thunder outside drowning it out to any other wandering ears or eyes.

“I’m so afraid. That one day I’m going to wake up and realise that the last 6 months have been a dream. That you’re just going to go back to calling me your ‘best friend’ instead of your ‘boyfriend’,” the tears flow down Juyeon’s face naturally when he finally manages to choke out his words that he’s kept hidden inside of him since the very start.

He tightens his grip around Eric, so tight it must be uncomfortable but the other boy doesn’t even comment about it. 

“I want to make a grand gesture, take you out on dates, kiss you in the rain, but I can’t. Sometimes it feels like you’re going to slip through my fingers, and there’s nothing I can do to hold onto you.”

He doesn’t like crying. Not because it’s a sign of weakness. No, it’s okay for anyone to cry when they feel like it. Juyeon just doesn’t like to show this side of him to anyone else. 

“Hyung?” Eric’s voice is wobbly when he finally speaks up, and Juyeon finds the other’s eyes tear-filled as well, threatening to spill buckets any second now. “Don’t say that, please. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” Juyeon sniffs, wiping his tears away with his arm. “It’s just me stupid talking.”

While Juyeon usually takes on the role of comforting the “crybaby” of their group - as the fans and members have affectionately referred to Eric - this time, Eric is the one who hugs Juyeon tight, even letting Juyeon tuck his head into the crook of his neck, as if shielding him from the world outside.

“Okay?” Eric asks after a few minutes of petting Juyeon’s back gently. 

Juyeon nods ever so slightly, tired out from letting his raw emotions show after the longest time. “Want to look at me so I can talk now?”

Juyeon tries to compose himself, take deep breaths while trying not to cry again, and nods, allowing the other to speak. Eric cups Juyon’s cheeks gently while using his thumbs to wipe his tears away, naturally teasing, “You’re so silly, hyung.”

“I’ve waited my whole life for someone like you. Do you really think I’ll let you leave me, let alone leave you in the first place?” Eric questions, looking straight into Juyeon’s eyes when he says that. “You’re my dream guy. I loved you even before knowing what loving someone was like. So don’t doubt me, okay?”

Juyeon’s never doubted Eric. Not when he knows the best how caring, sensitive and selfless the other boy can be when it comes to giving love. And in some way, he knows that Eric is probably destined to give out more love than Juyeon can ever repay. 

Eric confirms Juyeon’s suspicions when he moves in closer to kiss Juyeon first. He probably tastes salty, from all the tears he’s been crying, but Eric doesn’t seem to mind. It’s been so long since they’ve done anything affectionate for each other, much less intimate.

He melts into the kiss, hands wandering to places he’s been wanting to touch for a long time now.

“Hyung,” Eric mumbles against his lips, breaking the kiss. “Isn’t Younghoon hyung coming back soon?”

In an alternate universe, Juyeon would probably say fuck it, i don’t care but the reality is that he does care. Younghoon is probably exhausted after a day of filming his drama and the last thing he would want to come home to is two of his friends getting it on in his room.

“You’re right,” he groans. “Jesus, you’re killing me here.”

Eric just giggles, finding himself in an awkward position in Juyeon’s lap. “Sorry,” he says, obviously not sorry in the least bit. “Need me to help you out?”

Juyeon shakes his head. He’ll have to deal with himself later. They can’t take any chances and risk getting kicked out of the dorms.

“And we’re back to our regular programming,” Eric cheekily announces like a broadcaster, rolling right off Juyeon’s lap and curling up beside him again. “You okay, hyung? Not going to lie, you scared me a little there. How are you feeling now?”

He’s so cute, Juyeon coos internally at Eric’s worried expression. Even after riling him up right after going through a roller coaster of emotions, Eric thinks of Juyeon’s feelings first.

“Better,” Juyeon says after pecking Eric’s cheek innocently. “Sorry about that.”

“No, don’t apologise. Talk to me when you’re feeling blue, I need to know what’s going on up,” Eric pauses mid-sentence to knock Juyeon’s head lightly. “ Here .”

Assurance ; something Juyeon never thought he needed in a relationship but Eric voluntarily gives to him anyway. Together, they’re growing and learning a little bit more about each other everyday, and Juyeon is eternally thankful for this opportunity.

A mischievous smile creeps onto his lips before he can stop himself, “You really wanna know what’s going on up here?”

Eric nods quizzically, leaning in to hear what Juyeon has to say. 

“I wanna see you-” Juyeon relays what his mind is truly thinking when he looks at Eric, enjoying the way his spoken words clearly have an effect on the other boy. Payback , Juyeon silently enjoys his victory.

“Oh my god, hyung,” Eric huffs, his face turning as red as a tomato. “You can’t just say that, you heathen.”

It’s adorable, the way Eric squirms under a simple desire Juyeon whispers into his ear.

“You love me, though,” he shrugs.

“Yeah,” Eric’s eyes twinkle in response, commanding for Juyeon to fall even deeper in love with him, if that was even possible in the first place. Under the covers, Eric tangles their fingers together, “ Forever .”

//

Juyeon sprints out of his room when Hyunjae yells out for them to come out and collect their respective packages. It’s quite amusing to see 10 grown men line up in a straight line with the same expectant looks on their faces as Hyunjae reads out the names on the packages that have been delivered to their dorm.

“Jesus Chanhee, were you testing the limits on your credit card last month?” Hyunjae huffs, handing off a mountain of grey and brown boxes to the tiny boy who can only glare playfully at Hyunjae in response.

“Changmin, Kevin, oh- Eric, your mom sent over some stuff too,” as the boys scramble to claim their items from the pile, Juyeon waits frantically for his name to be called.

“Lee Juyeon,” Hyunjae finally calls his name out monotonously, then blinks and adds, “Juyeon? Since when do you order stuff online?”

Well, since Eric wanted something that Juyeon couldn’t source for locally.

“Well, what’s in there?” Hyunjae looks suspiciously at the small package (well, small compared to the sizes of the other packages). He doesn’t let up on Juyeon, continuing to eye him with curiosity. Juyeon clears his throat, careful with what he says even though Eric is way too busy inspecting the goodies his mother has sent over from the US to even care what Juyeon bought online.

“It’s a secret,” Juyeon keeps his lips sealed, knowing the special bond Eric and Hyunjae (unfortunately) share. Having either of them as company is fun, it’s a ball, and Juyeon never gets bored with either Eric or Hyunjae around. But when the two of them come together, let’s just say Juyeon would rather get bit by Changmin than be caught in the middle of the two boisterous members.

Only Kevin shares a knowing smile with Juyeon, obviously the only other person in on the secret item in Juyeon’s hands.

Slowly, Juyeon makes it back into his room without much suspicion, prying open the bubble-wrapped package to reveal his first online buy in a long while. While unboxing the present, Juyeon starts to wonder if this is why Chanhee is addicted to online shopping - the thrill of opening something you bought weeks ago is just unexplainable .

It’s beautiful , Juyeon marvels as he lays eyes on the two matching necklaces in the box. They look just like the ones Eric showed to him before.

And before Juyeon can continue to admire them, his door unlocks and with a swift hand movement, he shuts the necklace in his personal drawer, out of sight and reach of anybody else.

Thankfully, it’s just Changmin, staring at him with his big, shifty eyes.

“What’re you hiding?” his friend is unsurprisingly observant. “You’ve got the word ‘guilty’ written all over your face.”

“Nothing,” Juyeon deflects, praying Changmin will let him off the hook. “What’s up?”

“The choreographer called. He wants our input for the dance of our next comeback.” Fortunately, there are more pressing matters at hand so Changmin doesn’t get to pressure Juyeon for an answer.

“Let me change, I’ll be right out and we can head to the company together.”

Changmin hums as an agreement, leaving Juyeon alone once again.

Carefully, Juyeon opens his drawer to look at the necklaces one more time. His heart skips a beat, anxious to know what Eric would say when he saw the necklaces. If he were one third as excited as Juyeon about this - it’d be considered a win for Juyeon already.

Silently, Juyeon’s mind cannot help but wonder if this is what normal couples feel like when one of them is preparing to propose to the other. If it is so, Juyeon hopes that he’s got a good chance of being accepted.

//

Like a fool, Juyeon wants to wait for the right time to give the necklaces to Eric.

It just never feels right, with their schedules slowly piling up with dance practices and song recordings as the group rushes to prepare for their next comeback. As a whole, they’re a little worn out, and Eric too, has lost a bit of his once endless enthusiasm.

Juyeon decides it has to be today , because having to keep the necklaces sitting in his drawer a secret, and at the same time begging Kevin not to let the cat out of the bag, is killing him inside. So, for selfish reasons, he decides today is the day he will finally give Eric his gift.

Nervously, Juyeon sits on the end of Eric’s bed, waiting for him to get back from the company after he said he wanted to take more time to practice by himself. Juyeon would’ve waited for Eric to go home together, and he could tell by Eric’s disappointed face when he said he wanted to leave first that he would have to find a good way to make it up to his boyfriend later.

Dangling the two necklaces on his long fingers, Juyeon figures, this should be enough, right?

He’s so anxious, he doesn’t even hear his phone ring once, and then twice before stopping.

Only seconds later, Hyunjae comes running to Juyeon, face flushed, “Hey, there you are.”

Not only does Hyunjae completely miss the necklaces in the palm of Juyeon’s hand and the opportunity to make fun of Juyeon for a lifetime, he looks way too serious for there to be any good news.

“Eric fell. They’re bringing him to the hospital.”

“What?” is the only thing Juyeon’s mind can register in the moment. In an instant, all daydreams of Eric coming home are dashed and Juyeon can only stare at his phone with the notifications of two missed calls from Eric taunting him.

Fuck, Eric was the one calling him for help.

“It’s not serious,” Hyunjae says, professionally reading Juyeon’s mind in just one glance, “He’ll be okay. But we’re going to see him now, so don’t freak out, okay?”

“What do you mean it’s not serious?” Juyeon lashes out, “Would they bring him to the hospital if it wasn’t serious?”

In an instant, Hyunjae’s expression darkens, and the older boy barely manages to compose himself.

“Juyeon, I get that you’re worried, but don’t shout at me. Take a few deep breaths, and calm down,” Hyunjae commands. Somehow, Juyeon manages to rationalise that Eric probably isn’t in any real danger, and follows Hyunjae’s instructions, feeling his heartbeat slowly come down from its raging high.

“Sorry, hyung,” he mumbles, embarrassed to let his emotions get the better of him in the heat of the moment.

Hyunjae doesn’t take it to heart, and in moments like these, Juyeon is so thankful to have him be the mature, logical older brother figure things out, “Grab a coat, Juyeon. We’re leaving right away.”

Swallowing his pride, Juyeon nods obediently, heart growing heavy as the two missed calls from Youngjae♡ stare back at him. He shoves the necklaces deep into his pockets, feeling about ten times more like a fool than at the beginning.

//

Almost all of the members are here, with some coming from dinner outside (Chanhee, Sunwoo, Jacob) and others who were at the company as well (Sangyeon, Kevin, Changmin). With the exception of Younghoon, who is at the filming site but instructed Hyunjae to call him as soon as he got any news, they all wait with anxious hearts for the doctor to tell them something about Eric’s current condition.

Apparently, Eric wasn’t able to walk on his own when Changmin found him alone, in the dance practice room.

Juyeon curses himself, if only he had stayed behind with Eric, this wouldn’t have happened in the first place. Coupled with the guilt, Juyeon’s nervousness forces him to bite on his nails, a bad habit he’s rid himself of for months now.

“He’s gonna be okay, Juyeonie,” Sangyeon assures him at the same time Changmin grabs Juyeon’s wrist, preventing him from chewing his fingers off.

I’m an idiot, Juyeon’s brain berates himself over and over, until a young doctor in a white coat steps out, visibly shocked at the crowd that has gathered outside his door, waiting for an answer.

“Guardians of Eric Sohn, I assume?” he raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question it when no one denies. “Um, he’ll be fine. It’s a partial ACL tear so he’ll have to walk around with crutches for a while. We’ll call him back for check-ups every now and then and keep a close eye on whether he’ll need surgery or not. For now, I wouldn’t worry too much.”

The words ACL tear, surgery and crutches flood Juyeon’s mind as he struggles to steady his breathing. He knows a few dancer friends who have had ACL tears, and they’re all living and breathing fine right now. This is good news, right?

“Thank god,” Sangyeon sighs, verbally voicing what they’re all thinking at the moment. They bow, dazed from the chaos of it all as the doctor takes his leave. Juyeon hangs at the back of the group, suddenly consumed with guilt. He tries to make himself as small as possible, hoping Sangyeon won’t call him out. He’s not ready to face Eric just yet.

Unfortunately, his prayers are thrown to the wind as Sangyeon calls for him, “Juyeonie? You wanna go in and see him first? We’ll give you both some time alone.”

Of course. As the boyfriend, Juyeon gets to go in first and alone. He accepts the kind gesture from Sangyeon without any protest. It would be weird if he refused to go in and see Eric after freaking out on everyone like that.

The hospital room is unusually peaceful when Juyeon steps in. There’s the familiar sterile smile, the occasional beeping of the monitor, and a boy resting on a bed in the middle of it all.

“Hyung,” Eric calls out to him first. “I gave you all a shock, didn’t I?”

He barely manages to sit down on the chair next to Eric, “Yeah. You scared the shit out of me.”

Eric has the nerve to giggle, reaching his hands out to ruffle Juyeon’s hair, “You look as pale as Casper the ghost, hyung. There’s water on the table, I think you need it more than I do.”

Ignoring Eric’s suggestion to hydrate himself, Juyeon can only stare at Eric’s bandaged knee and wishes he could do anything to turn back time and stay back to practice with Eric. 

“What are you thinking about?” the younger boy’s voice brings Juyeon back to reality. “Huh, hyung? Hey, look at me.”

Juyeon can only stare at the ground in front of him like a kicked puppy, “I should’ve stayed with you. I shouldn’t have gone home alone.”

“No, no, no,” Eric jumps to relieve Juyeon of his guilt. “Hyung, please don’t blame yourself. Don’t make me feel worse than I already do. This is not your fault, look at me- Juyeon hyung !”

Frustrated, Eric raises his voice at Juyeon for the first time in a long while. A frown sits on Eric’s forehead as he stares at Juyeon, obviously mad, “If you continue blaming yourself, I’m not going to talk to you for the rest of the month. I mean it. Now look at me and repeat, ‘I’m not going to blame myself’.”

Feeling like a child and worried that the other members could be eavesdropping from the outside, Juyeon just mumbles, “Imnotgonnablamemyself.”

“Louder.”

Juyeon sighs heavily.

“Okay, I’m not going to blame myself but-”

“ Bah bah bah -” Eric cuts him off childishly. “It’s not your fault. In fact, it’s no one’s. It’s just something that happened. Can you come and hug me now?”

His boyfriend holds his arms wide open, waiting for Juyeon to dive in. And so he does, burying his head into Eric’s chest at the same time, “I’m really sorry, baby.”

“You’re on thin ice, ” Eric warns. “But you called me baby, so I’ll let it go.”

Seeing how positive Eric is at taking in his injury, Juyeon starts to feel a little less guilty than before. He swears never to leave Eric out of sight again, and while that may seem like doing a little too much, he’s not taking any more chances. When he takes his seat again, something in his pocket clings against the hard chair.

“What’s that?” Eric immediately asks. 

The moment’s already ruined, and Juyeon really, really needs to feel a bit better about himself as a boyfriend right now so he discreetly takes out the two necklaces out of his pocket, saying, “I wanted to give you this when you came home tonight, but I guess this will have to do.”

If anyone told Juyeon that he’d be giving Eric his necklace in a hospital room, he would’ve laughed in their face and said no way, I’d wait for the perfect time. But, as Juyeon comes to learn the hard way today, there really is no perfect time.

And if he’s being honest, when he sees the way Eric lights up when he realises what Juyeon is holding in his hands - there’s no time more perfect than now.

“You remembered,” Eric says, in a hushed whisper so softly Juyeon wonders if he even said it at all. 

“This is yours,” Juyeon helps Eric hang his half of the necklace on his neck, smiling proudly at the finished product. “Oh, and there’s only one of these in the entire world.”

“Shut up, I know people are selling these all over the internet,” Eric rolls his eyes. “We probably have the same piece as a thousand other couples.”

“Not quite,” Juyeon corrects him. “Look behind your Lego piece.”

When Eric flips his Lego piece over, Juyeon’s chest swells with unimaginable pride.

“Yeah,” he smiles at Eric, who for once, is at a loss for words. “And your name’s behind the one I have. So don’t go around locking your heart with anyone else’s, it won’t match.”

Juyeon leans in to kiss Eric’s forehead, “Because you’re mine.”

Eric’s lips form a little pout, one of the more recognizable signs of him preparing to burst out in tears, “I love you so much, hyung.” 

Juyeon can only give Eric another tight hug, heart skipping a beat when their matching necklaces cling together. “Me too, I love you. So much, ric-ah.”

“You’re the best,” Eric continues to shower Juyeon with sweet words, an indication of how thankful he really is for the gift. “Can you come sit with me on the bed? You’re too far away.”

Normally, Juyeon would laugh at Eric’s statement. He’s here, in the same room, and less than 15 centimetres away from Eric. How could he be too far away? But somehow, he understands Eric perfectly. 

“Do you think they’ll mind? If you spend a bit more time in here with me,” Eric only belatedly remembers the other members outside of his room, all concerned and waiting to see him when Juyeon snuggles next to him.

“Just 5 minutes,” Juyeon pleads, taking in all of Eric, but careful not to cause him any more hurt.

Eric seems to contemplate the choices in his head, and Juyeon grins knowingly when he relaxes, seemingly giving in, “Okay, just 5 minutes.”

Feeling Eric nuzzle his head onto his chest, Juyeon drapes an arm around Eric’s shoulder, pulling him closer.

It’s not enough - it’ll never be enough - but for now, it’ll do.