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Memory
He remembers sailing. He remembers large, fluffy clouds and a warm breeze under an impossibly blue sky; nearly indistinguishable on the horizon from the ocean stretching infinitely below. The air was salty and humid, and Zuko laid slouched against Appa’s saddle, feeling the groan rumbling in his chest.
“Ugh. I can’t believe this.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get the hang of it.”
Would he though? How could someone he’d just met know for sure?
Well, kind of just met.
Alright, fine. Aang knew him, but he knew him when capturing the Avatar was the only thing that got him out of bed in the mornings. Aang didn’t know him, and Zuko had the sinking feeling that he was an unfortunately misguided judge of character.
“How do you do it?”
He realized too late that his question was too vague.
“Do what?” Aang responds, unceasingly cheery. How strange, he thinks, that after being tracked down for the better part of a year, Aang chooses to trust Zuko alone like this. However, one of the perks of being the Avatar was rather cosmic power. So.
“Stay so… upbeat," he replies.
He watches Aang’s back as he waits for an answer. He’s seated on Appa’s head with the reins in hand and Zuko realizes he’s almost too still.
“That’s a good question, actually,” he says finally. Leaning forward, he ruffles the fur on Appa’s head before he rises to join Zuko in the saddle.
“The monks used to say that life is something we have to choose to be grateful for by living in the present. By dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, you lose sight of the now.”
“But how can you do that?” Zuko retorts more angrily than he means to. “The destiny of the world depends on you taking down my father, and your people were-”
He quickly bites his tongue to stop himself, watching with growing concern as Aang’s eyes cloud over.
“It’s… not easy," he admits. “I have nightmares sometimes. You should have seen me the night before the Day of Black Sun. I was so sleep deprived that I was delirious. Appa and Momo were having a sword fight and everything.”
Zuko quirks his brow, his mouth turning up in the corner without his consent.
“I thought I was the only one.”
The way Aang’s eyes widen makes Zuko smile.
“Wait, you too?”
“Yeah. More than I’d like to admit. The weeks after I was banished, I think I could count the number of hours I slept on one hand. It got so bad that one time Uncle found me having a yelling match with a tree. He got there in time to stop me from setting the whole forest on fire for insulting my honour.”
Aang bites his lip as his shoulders shake with his laughter.
“Wow.” He’s grinning brightly now. “Glad we have that in common. Maybe we can share our next fit of delirium.”
Zuko smirks back. “The Avatar and the Fire Prince trying to survive sleep deprivation without ending the world? That sounds dangerous.”
Aang laughs again. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Don’t suppose your uncle taught you about any teas that are good for winding down?”
Zuko has to think about that for a moment, recalling all the different blends Iroh put in front of him over the course of their travels.
“I think there are a few. I remember he used valerian root a few times.” He grimaces. “It really tasted like hot tree juice. When that wasn’t available, he would make tea out of lemon balm leaves or dried passionflower leaves.”
When he finishes, he’s surprised at the way Aang is looking at him--with a blinding smile that lights up his eyes.
“You know a lot about tea. I bet Katara would be interested in learning from you.”
Zuko’s heart sinks.
“I’m pretty sure she hates me," he sulks.
Aang raises a hand to his chin as he looks up at the sky thoughtfully.
“She’s just protective," he says at last. “She still doesn’t know the real you. Once she gets to know you, I’m sure she’ll come around.”
The way Aang talks would make one think he already knew the real Zuko. Whatever that meant. Zuko wasn’t sure he knew himself. He was unknowable.
“How can you trust me so easily?”
The question comes tumbling from his lips before he can stop himself. He feels wild with desperation once it’s between them. His own father didn’t trust him. How could Aang -- someone he’d hunted, someone he’d intended to imprison -- believe in him so easily?
He must look a sight because Aang smiles at him reassuringly.
“Ever since you rescued me from Zhao, I’ve had a hunch you weren’t all bad.” He grins apologetically at the admittance of his quasi-faith. “And thanks to you, I have Appa back.”
The way his eyes soften as he talks about the bison makes Zuko’s heart ache.
“He’s really important to you.”
Aang nods.
“Appa and I chose each other when we were both really young. The monks and the sky bison had lifelong bonds, and when I lost Appa… It was like losing family.”
“I’m sorry.”
The words are heavy as he says them, weighed down with generational guilt he didn’t know he felt. The way Aang is looking at him suggests he’s just as surprised by the apology. Except now Zuko realizes how foolish it sounds.
I’m sorry my forefathers wiped out your people.
Like a sorry string of words from him could ever right the irreversible wrongs of his forebears. Like his apology could bring Aang’s people back.
He screws his eyes shut and balls his hands into fists in his lap.
“That was stupid of me. Just. I’m sorry you have to look at me and remember everything I must symbolize.”
He means it, he realizes. From the bottom of his heart.
Again he wonders how Aang could ever believe in him.
“Zuko?”
He violently scrubs at the moisture on his face, his heart speeding up with his breathing.
“Forget it.”
He refuses to open his eyes. He’s not ready to face the grey ones across from him again. Right then he wishes he could throw himself overboard to outrun his shame.
He’s surprised when he feels a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he cracks open his eyes to find Aang kneeling in front of him looking unbearably sad.
“I don’t blame you for what happened to my people, Zuko.” It takes everything Zuko has not to wince at the way Aang’s voice breaks. “You’ve suffered too.”
Grey eyes land on his scar and Zuko reaches up to touch it unconsciously. He’d spent so much time trying to ignore the mark that it was strange to feel the rough texture of his skin under his fingers. It wasn’t that he could ever forget his scar, but he’d spent the last three years trying to run from what it meant.
Now, as he touches it with Aang kneeling before him, he’s surprised to realize that the urge to run is missing. Aang’s hand falls away from his shoulder, but Zuko continues to palm at the rough skin on the left side of his face.
“I’ve been ashamed of my scar for so long," he says quietly. “It represented all my shortcomings and failures. I was my father’s greatest disappointment, and he gave me this to remind me every day for the rest of my life.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” Aang’s voice is sharp and sure with conviction. “What your father did to you was cruel and wrong. No one deserves to be treated the way he treated you.”
“I know.” And he does. For the first time, he truly does. Finally he lowers his hand from his face.
“That’s why I’m here. That’s why I want to find the source of firebending. I believe in you, Aang. My father is wrong, and if I want to have any hope for the world, I need to take destiny into my own hands. And, I know now, that means fighting at your side.”
Aang gives him a smile and a nod before dropping to sit next to him. From that position he elbows him in the arm.
“I’m glad to have you on our side. I’m sure we’ll find the source of firebending, and you’ll be the best firebending teacher an Avatar could ask for.” He smiles as Zuko feels himself blush. “Plus, you’re actually pretty fun to be around.”
“What?”
Of all the crazy things to come from Aang’s mouth, this has to be the most absurd.
“You heard me.” He laughs. “You’re fun.”
Zuko crosses his arms over his chest and puts on his best scowl.
“Lies.”
This only sends Aang into a fit of laughter. His glee is so infectious that Zuko can’t maintain his facade, and he chuckles in spite of himself.
“Fine," he caves. “But if you breathe a word about this exchange to Sokka, I’m burning you to a crisp with my new firebending powers when we get back.”
Aang grins at him with a spark in his eyes.
“I only make promises I intend to keep. No deal.”
Zuko heaves a long suffering sigh. It wasn’t like he could refuse to teach the Avatar. Aang had him beat.
“How about you just let him figure out I’m “fun” for himself?” he pleads. It’s a last ditch effort, but as he watches Aang, he’s shocked to find it works.
“Oh alright. I’m sure it won’t be long anyway. You couldn’t hide it if you tried.”
Zuko shrugs, giving up trying to understand this version of him that only Aang seems privy to.
Present Day
Zuko and Aang stand together, shoulder to shoulder, admiring the cliffside temple in its renovated glory. There’s a bustle of activity as the air acolytes shuffle to and fro bearing odds and ends that still need to be put in place for the official inauguration ceremony. It would be a small affair, just as Aang had planned. The ceremony would be his way of thanking the air acolytes for all their hard work and dedication. This was their new home, and they were Aang’s people; little by little, the Avatar was reviving air nomad culture.
Zuko was along because he’d insisted on it. His attendance as Fire Lord was the first step to setting right the wrongs of the past. Zuko’s forefathers decimated the air nomads, and Zuko intended to do everything in his power to ensure it would never happen again. All air temples were officially under Fire Nation protection. If anyone tried to attack, they would have the Fire Lord to contend with. The consequences would be steeper if the attackers were fire nation; they’d be charged with treason and sentenced accordingly. Aang wasn’t a fan of the tooth and claw approach, but he agreed that it was a smart political move.
“It’s incredible, Aang.”
Aang turns to grin at him toothily with his hands held out in front of him.
“Isn’t it? Everyone really put their best foot forward. It wasn’t easy, but we’re a good team. Helped to have Toph along for some of the rebuilding, though it took the two of us the better part of the year to finish the renovations.”
“I think I know the answer, but why didn’t you get a team together?”
“I thought about that, but I felt like I owed it to my people to take my time to make sure it was done right. And there’s no one I trust more than Toph with fine-tuned earthbending.”
The temple is a sight for sore eyes — the stones were polished and gleaming, the fountain gurgled merrily in the middle of the courtyard, crystalline waters spilling over the tiers and down into the basin in an endless loop. The underside of the layered walkways wrapping around the inverted towers were painted a fresh forest green, and the vines had been cleared away. Much of the foliage that had grown over the century was left alone so long as it wasn't compromising the structures.
Aang looks so happy next to him he almost worries he might float away on the wind.
“Want to get a better view?” Zuko asks. “I bet Appa wouldn’t mind getting a look either.”
The way Aang’s eyes shine when he turns to look at him is enough gratitude to fuel him through to the afterlife.
It’s a quick tour on Appa’s back, but Zuko isn’t ready for the ride to end. It’s not like they were in a hurry. The ceremony wouldn’t take place until tomorrow, and they were still waiting for Katara, Sokka and Toph to arrive.
“Aang, how about taking that upbeat attitude and going on an adventure?”
Aang looks over his shoulder at him wide-eyed and smiling.
“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”
“How would you feel about visiting the Sun Warriors for old times’ sake?”
It would be hours of travel, but they had time. With a twist of the reins and a “yip yip!” from Aang, they’re on their way.
Memory
"The monks used to say that revenge is like a two-headed rat viper. While you watch your enemy go down, you're being poisoned yourself."
"That's cute," Zuko cuts in, "but this isn't Air Temple preschool. It's the real world."
Katara turns to face him then, her blue eyes burning.
"Now that I know he's out there, now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice."
It hurts to hear her talk this way. Gone is the girl he woke up to after being frozen for a century, and in her place is a shadow.
"Katara, you do have a choice. Forgiveness."
Zuko steps forward, his expression sour.
"That's the same as doing nothing," he says tersely.
Aang knows they're talking from places of their own pain, pain he understands too well. When he replies, he keeps his voice gentle.
“No it's not. It’s easy to do nothing,” he says carefully, “but it’s hard to forgive.”
The words are heavy as he says them, like each one is a stone being stacked atop his heart. He knew how hard it was, better than anyone.
That night he watches Appa sailing away with Katara and Zuko in his saddle, and all he can do is hope for the best. It was Katara’s journey, and in a way, it was Zuko’s just as much. They both needed this. Aang only wished he had the wisdom to reach them.
Both nights he struggles with sleep. On the second night, he gives up trying and lays awake on the grass missing Appa’s warmth. He wondered how Katara and Zuko were faring alone together.
Hopefully Zuko makes it back… he thinks, knowing he’d bet on Katara in a fight between them any day.
He doesn’t expect to get his wish so soon, but he’s terrified when he sees it’s only Zuko in the saddle. Before he knows it, he’s running full-tilt, his heart racing.
“Katara?” he asks desperately.
Zuko gives him a reassuring nod. “She’s fine. She needs you right now.”
It’s dawn, and Aang is the only one awake. He quickly scrawls out a note and slides it into Sokka’s sleeping bag before clambering into Appa’s saddle.
He lets Zuko keep the reins, but sits next to him on Appa’s head.
“What happened?” he asks quietly, afraid of Zuko’s answer.
“She didn’t do it, if that’s what you’re worried about," he replies calmly. “We found the man who killed her mother, and she faced him. She was able to look him in the eye and remind him what he did, and then she let him go.”
Aang sighs with relief, his heart feeling lighter than it did the previous day.
“I’m glad.”
“Aang, I’m sorry for what I said before we left.”
Since Zuko joined the group, he seemed to be dropping surprise apologies like Momo dropped acorns. Aang had to think for a moment, trying to remember what wrong his friend is referring to.
“Sometimes I forget that you’re not just a kid,” Zuko continues. “What you said about the monks’ teachings is like something my uncle would say. You’re just as wise as he is.”
Aang feels his chest expand with a newfound appreciation for Zuko. How strange it was that this Zuko was the very same teenager he’d faced off with at the Southern Water Tribe almost a year ago.
“Thanks Zuko. It’s alright.”
It was becoming a point of contention in his life — his age versus how much he had to teach and share. He wondered how long it would be before he'd be taken seriously.
Zuko must notice his silence because he elbows him gently.
“You know, having the Fire Prince as your firebending teacher doesn’t come cheap,” he says through a smirk. “I think I know how you can pay me.”
“Excuse me, what?” Aang whips his head around, incredulous. “Zuko, you know I have no money.”
“Who said anything about money?” Aang isn’t expecting the genuine smile that crosses Zuko’s face. “Pay me by teaching me the ways of the air nomads. If I do ever become Fire Lord, it’s only right that I know the traditions and beliefs of the other three nations.”
Aang swears his heart is singing along with the breeze in his ears. His eyes feel wet, and he blinks away the tears with a smile of his own.
“That sounds like a fair exchange," he manages. “Zuko?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
Present Day
When they arrive at the Sun Warriors’ civilization, they venture past the gates and through the ruins without triggering any traps. Aang is especially wary of any hidden spikes that might rise from the ground to skewer him. Zuko is as confident as always, unflinching as he steps confidently over wayward vines and runs along walls when necessary. The man had all the makings of a ninja.
“Can you believe it’s been ten years since we were last here?” Aang marvels.
“Yeah. A lot has changed.”
Aang realizes that Zuko isn’t talking about the ruins; even though the world had changed, this place seemed frozen in time.
“We were so young when we were here last," Aang agrees. “It’s hard to believe I’m taller than you now.”
Zuko gives him a halfhearted glare, but his response is surprisingly heartfelt.
“Back then we were just getting to know each other. We were just starting out as friends, and now you’re one of the most important people in my life.”
He says it like he’s sharing a secret, and Aang wonders what secret that might be.
Winding their way over cracked stone floors between crumbling buildings, Aang and Zuko make their way deep into the ancient city until they find signs of civilization. It’s not long before they’re greeted by wary Sun Warriors, who soon recognize them for who they are.
They visit with the chief for some time; his greying hair and the new lines on his face the only indication of the passage of time. He welcomes them into the city and assigns a guide to show them around.
They’re led into a bustling marketplace where vendors stand hawking their wares in a language Aang and Zuko barely understand. Their guide suggests different food items to try including a strangely bittersweet beverage made from fermented corn with a hint of lime and salt. The drink makes Aang pucker his lips, but Zuko seems to enjoy it.
“This is possibly the strangest thing I’ve ever sipped," he notes.
“Stranger than uncle’s bubble tea?” Zuko retorts.
“Actually, yes.”
“I think it’s good.”
Aang holds his out to Zuko as an offering.
“Want mine?”
Zuko finishes off his own drink with a few gulps and accepts Aang’s cup.
After a couple hours of exploration, their guide leads them back towards the gate at their request. It’s getting dark out, and it’s time to start thinking about heading back. They thank the man for his time and he leaves them with a bow and a wave.
“We should do the Dancing Dragon!” Aang says excitedly as he turns to Zuko. “I mean, we’re here. It would be wrong not to.”
It’s a testament to how much Zuko had changed that he doesn't protest. Instead, he assumes the stance to start off the form. Aang beams at him before standing at his side and mirroring him.
They move through the steps from memory, and Aang takes the opportunity to glance up at the starry sky above as he shifts from position to position. He sees Zuko moving with discipline and grace across from him, and he can’t help but admire his beauty. Aang miraculously manages to get through the rest of the forms without tripping up, and when he and Zuko’s knuckles touch in the final stance, he tries to ignore the way his heart flutters in his chest.
He’s about to pull his hands back to stand straight, but he’s prevented by Zuko’s hand around his wrist. He’s not sure what to do about the way his heart gallops as though to run away without him.
They lower their hands while they face each other, and Aang is surprised to see a light blush dusting Zuko’s face.
“Uh…” Aang tries, and fails spectacularly to bridge the silence between them.
“Aang, I was hoping to talk to you.”
“We’ve been talking all day," he responds nervously, then kicks himself mentally. Zuko levels his gaze at him and he recognizes the look. Echoes of important conversations surface in his memory, and Aang drops his smile to let Zuko know he understands.
“Maybe I’m crazy for telling you this," Zuko starts. “There are a million reasons why it’s a bad idea, but I don’t care anymore.”
Aang’s almost certain he’s going to die of a heart attack at the tender age of twenty-three.
“Aang, do you trust me?”
The question catches him off-guard.
“Uh, yes?” he answers, because it should be obvious by now.
What he doesn’t expect is for Zuko to lean in and kiss him.
Oh.
His shock quickly melts away as he lets his eyes slide closed and leans in, following Zuko's mouth as he guides their lips together, and he can’t believe this is happening, but here he is.
He’s not sure if it should be allowed for a kiss to feel so right. Without thinking, he wraps his arms around Zuko’s shoulders and pulls him closer. The kiss is slow and sweet, and Aang loses himself in the warmth of Zuko’s breath, in the tangy aftertaste of the drinks from earlier. His frame is strong, and with their chests pressed together, Aang revels in the way they fit against each other perfectly.
It feels like hours before they break apart, and Aang is so twitterpated he finds himself speechless.
Zuko, for his part, doesn’t fare much better. So they smile at each other and Aang holds out his hand for Zuko to take. When their palms come together, they walk back to Appa in companionable, if not awed, silence.
It’s only once they’re in the saddle and have Appa sailing back to the Western Air Temple that they finally speak.
“That… was unexpected," Aang says at last. “I didn’t realize you felt the same way.”
They’re sitting together in the saddle now, and the surprises keep coming as Zuko leans against him comfortably.
“I was tipped off," he confesses.
“Toph?” he asks.
Zuko chuckles. “Toph.”
Aang rolls his eyes and smacks his forehead with his palm.
“Can’t trust her with anything.”
Not that he’d told her. She’d figured it out after hearing his heart spazzing over coming across a very naked Zuko in a natural hot spring during a group getaway.
“I’m glad she told me,” he murmurs sleepily from Aang’s shoulder, weaving their fingers together. “I’d wanted to tell you for a long time.”
Aang smiles and rests his head on Zuko’s.
“I’m going to help you rebuild the air nomad population, Aang,” Zuko says quietly. “I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
Aang feels the way his ears turn pink with his blush.
“I hadn’t thought that far yet," he says with a nervous laugh. “It’s only been an hour since… well, since this happened.” Here he gestures between them.
“I’ve had a lot of time to think about it," Zuko confides. "At first I’d resolved never to tell you how I felt because I know the duty you have to your people. Plus, I was certain you’d end up marrying Katara.”
“We were better friends,” Aang provides.
“And maybe you and I would be better lovers.”
Who is this and what has he done with Zuko? Aang thinks desperately. He’s surprised when he hears Zuko chuckle from his shoulder.
“Relax, I can hear your heart going a mile a minute.”
“You can hardly blame me," Aang exclaims with a flail.
“No, and I don’t.” He lifts his head to sit straight, his amber eyes soft. “Are you alright with this?”
Aang doesn’t have to think about his answer. “Zuko, I’ve had feelings for you for longer than I can say. I’m more than alright.”
With new confidence, he cups Zuko’s cheek and leans in to kiss him again. It’s a chaste thing, but there’s an underlying heat to the way they pull close to each other; a promise of more, later. When they’re ready.
So they lay back in Appa’s saddle to admire the twinkling sky, their fingers laced between them as they sail back to meet their friends, and to usher in the beginning of a new era for the air nomads together.