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It bothered Okuyasu more than he’d let on. More than he’d like to admit, actually. The thing in question? Fuck, he couldn’t even bring himself to think the words.
As the Stand users of Morioh stand together, quietly listening to Reimi explain how she knows Shigechi was murdered by the same man she was, Okuyasu can’t focus. All he can see is the last Harvest, standing before him, bleeding out. His jaw clenches and his eyes are glued to the ground, his hands curling into fists at his sides. He’s pissed: he’s not sure if he should be more sad or angry at the moment.
He feels tears welling up, so he turns away from the group and tries to breathe. Tries not to think about Shigechi, being alone, being scared. It does no good, his lungs have glass shards in them and his throat is made of sandpaper, making every breath painful.
“Josuke, I heard you picked up a button.” Jotaro asks straightforwardly, his voice lacking much enthusiasm, as usual. At this, Okuyasu tunes back into the conversation, noticing the button Josuke is holding.
“Oh, yeah, this. One of the Harvests brought it to me,” The black haired teen digs into his pocket and procures a giraffe striped button, handing it to the marine biologist.
Jotaro takes it and inspects it before saying, “This is probably Shigechi’s final message. It’s possible that Harvest ripped it off the murderer’s clothes and brought it to you as a clue.”
Okuyasu chokes on his inhale. Shigechi. In his final moments, thinking about Josuke and himself, probably hoping they would come save him. He has to take a long breath in so he doesn’t start crying right then and there.
“Is it alright if I keep this? I’ll do some research, see where it came from.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s fine,” Josuke shrugs. Both of his responses have been a little short. He’s out of it. Nothing feels real right now. To be honest? He’s hoping he’s going to wake up soon and this will have all been a dream. Ever since Angelo, then Akira...he’s just been getting more and more sick of villainous stand users.
“H-hey, if we’re done here, I think...I think I’m gonna head out,” Okuyasu manages to stutter, feeling self conscious the whole time, knowing the whole group is looking at him, a teary, anxious mess. “I..I don’t feel too good.” Turning, he adds, “C’mon dad, let’s go.” He can’t bring himself to meet Josuke’s gaze, feeling it bore into the back of his skull.
He doesn’t want Josuke to see him like this. Sure, he’s cried before, at Tonios, at Koichi getting asked out before he did, but this...this is different. More intimate. More personal. Duly he notes Koichi commenting on his weird behavior and he hears Josuke reply, but at that point he’s too far away to understand, nor does he really have the energy to care.
“Dammit,” he mutters, scuffing the sidewalk with his shoes, squeezing his eyes shut as the waterworks almost break the dam.
Once Okuyasu gets home and the door is shut, he collapses on the rickety couch in their worn-down living room, his body not wanting to support him any longer. His father, who was idling in the doorway, waddles over and plops down next to him, making a low noise of comfort as he puts his fuzzy paw on Okuyasu’s hand. It doesn’t seem like he knows what’s going on, but he’s trying his best.
Okuyasu, meanwhile, is trying his best not to sob, but the tears are certainly there. He doesn’t know what to do right now. Sure, he’s handled death before, but not well. Last time it was his brother, backed with a whole plethora of complicated emotions he had (and failed) to sort out. This was different, anyhow. This time it was a small child who had a future ahead of him, parents who loved him, friends.... He lets out a shaky sigh and puts his head in his hands. Harvest flashes into his vision once more. “Fuck.”
There’s a sudden tip-tap at the door that makes Okuyasu look up. Visitors? He can’t imagine anyone wanting to come visit him after what just happened; he thought he made it obvious enough he didn’t really want to be around a single person. For a solid second, the thought passes through his mind of ignoring it, but in the end, guilt wins out and he resigns to opening it. He stands up, brushing away tears that have collected on his eyelashes.
“What do you want--” The snarled words, hiding his grief, die on his lips when he sees who’s actually there: Josuke Higashikata, standing in his doorway, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he looks oddly shy for the first time since Okuyasu has known him. “Oh. Josuke. Hey.” Well shit, now he has to apologize for being an asshole a second ago.
But Josuke doesn’t say anything about it, instead opting to adopt a genuine look of concern. “You look like shit. You okay?”
Okuyasu scowls at the floor. “Thanks,” he sarcastically mumbles, quickly wiping away any tear stains that he might’ve forgotten about. “Not really.”
Josuke hums, clicking his tongue. “I thought so. That’s why I came over, you left so suddenly, y’know?”
Okuyasu nods but doesn’t say anything, instead opening the door wider. Josuke gets the memo and slips past him. Somehow, he always knows when Okuyasu is down. If he didn’t have a Stand, his power would be understanding Okuyasu to a T.
“Hey, Mr. Nijimura,” he greets casually, just as usual, knowing he isn’t understood but feeling better for it nonetheless. It’d feel rude to walk in without saying hi. “Me and Okuyasu are gonna head upstairs.” He doesn’t wait for a response before shooting over to the stairs.
The younger boy nudges the door closed with his foot before sluggishly following Josuke.
Once the two are upstairs and Josuke has seated a very somber and quiet Okuyasu down on his pathetic, ruggedy mattress, he takes a seat on the floor across from him. He notices that Okuyasu is avoiding eye contact and is instead picking at his fingers, as he does when he’s anxious. “So…” Josuke starts off, not knowing what’s going on his best friend’s head yet.
“So.” Okuyasu responds indifferently, his voice rough around the edges due to not-quite crying. A prolonged silence ensues, making him look up, only to see a subtle frown on Josuke’s features which makes him look away. Guilt begins to constrict in his chest. Is he bothered about this too?
Josuke sighs and furrows his eyebrows. “Hey, you know I’m here for you, right? Like you can tell me anything?”
Okuyasu glances at Josuke again, and when he’s greeted with a vehement turquoise gaze, he quickly averts his focus, unable to handle the immense weight behind the question coupled with the intense stare. “Yeah, I know…” he eventually mumbles, making a point to inspect a loose thread on his bed rather pointedly.
“Hey,” Josuke kneels over and grabs his hand, startling the younger boy at the sudden contact and redirection from what he was just doing. It’s not weird, per se, they engage in casual touch all the time. It was just startling. “I mean it.” He says in a low voice, hopeful Okuyasu will believe him.
This prompts Okuyasu to look back at Josuke, and he sees the sincerity burning in his best friend’s eyes. Fuck. He doesn’t want to put all the stress of what’s just happened onto Josuke, but at the same time...maybe he needs to talk about it, too? They both need to get over it. Without letting go of their entrapped hands (which Okuyasu subconsciously held tighter onto), he decides to go for it. “Do...you….Are you as bothered about Shigechi as I am?” he finally manages, voice only a whisper as he looks up at Josuke, the emotions that he was trying to contain previously threatening to spill out once more in the form of tears.
Josuke holds Okuyasu’s hand tighter. “I mean…” Fuck, he hadn’t thought too hard about it up until now. Of course, it happened, but he hadn’t had time to process it. What DOES he feel about all of this? His mouth twists into a snide scowl. Angry . “I’m going to find the asshole who did it and beat them to a fucking pulp.” When instead of a nod or even a hum of agreement, Okuyasu pulls his hands away to quickly rub his eyes, Josuke realizes there might be a lot more to this on Okuyasu’s side than he thought. “Hey hey hey,” he backpedals, voice regaining its soft composure. “Okuyasu it’s okay--”
“No it’s not!” Okuyasu wails, finally letting himself air his grievances. “Shigechi is dead and it’s not okay! He...he was just a kid!" The last few words come out in the form of hiccupy sobs. “And now he’s gone and he was probably hoping we’d come save him the whole time!” Now that he’s started, he can’t stop; all of the thoughts he was trying to shove down decided to come back with a vengeance and now he’s crying hot, sad, angry, everything-all-at-once tears.
Josuke can’t think over the blood roaring in his ears. Watching his best friend sob isn’t an experience he’s liking very much. However, almost instantly he’s on the case, pulling Okuyasu right into his arms.
Okuyasu doesn’t even fight it; he just falls face first into Josuke, where he instinctively latches onto his shirt and buries his face in it. As Josuke wraps his arms around him, Okuyasu clings tighter and his sobs quickly become muffled in the other teen’s chest. “He was just a kid ,” he cries out, bunching the fabric of Josuke’s shirt up in his fists. “He--” he can barely get the words out between sobs-- “He thought we were gonna rescue him!”
Josuke’s eyebrows knit and he bites his lip, knowing he can’t do anything other than be here. Leaning his chin on Okuyasu’s head, he mumbles an “I know.”
“God,” Okuyasu cries, his whole body quaking with raw grief. “It’s so fucking unfair!”
The black haired teen sighs softly, giving Okuyasu a light squeeze. “Don’t worry, whoever did this will pay. I’m gonna make sure of it.” At this, Okuyasu sniffs and backs up a little, making Josuke lift his head to watch his movements with careful eyes, hoping his tears would subside soon.
“It won’t bring him back,” he murmurs, voice cracking. “I know, because…” He looks away and instead of continuing, he crumples back into Josuke as sobs wrack his body once more. “Because of Keicho!”
Oh. Oh fuck. He had totally forgotten about Okuyasu’s brother, considering the fact that it wasn’t his own relative. Okuyasu hadn’t shared much of what he felt about the matter, so Josuke had just assumed he was fine. It hadn’t really been his place to try to comfort him anyways…..right? Two deaths in the span of only a few months is a lot to deal with, and Josuke kicks himself for not realizing this sooner. As Okuyasu’s wails get louder by the second, Josuke’s heart pangs as he knows there’s nothing he can do right now, other than hold and comfort him. With gentle hands he rubs smooth circles on Okuyasu’s back, murmuring small “it’ll be okay”s and “I’m here for you”s every once in a while for good measure.
After a bit, Okuyasu’s sobs turn to quiet sniffles, and he looks up at Josuke. “I know I wasn’t very close with Keicho, he was kinda a dick, but...he was my brother.” His body involuntarily starts to shake again and the tears that had subsided threaten to come back. “And...and when we were kids, he was good to me, you know? But the way he treated our dad, and me as we got older…” He sucks in a breath, lip trembling. He doesn’t continue, just lays his head back down on Josuke, who, this whole time, was listening in rapt attention.
“Yeah, I know,” Josuke swallows the lump in his throat that’s formed seeing Okuyasu in so much pain. He’s aptly aware of the warm, wet spot forming on his t-shirt from Okuyasu’s tears, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s no big deal. “It sucks, because he’s your brother, and..” he struggles to come up with the right words, since he’s never been in this exact situation with a toxic family member. “Despite everything, you still love him, even if you shouldn’t.”
Okuyasu chokes on a half sob, half exhale and nods vigorously. “He...he sort of saved me, yknow,” He turns so he’s now speaking directly into Josuke’s shirt, hidden from the rest of the world. “Told me not to come near him. But then the very last thing he ever said was that I always held him back. What the fuck am I supposed to think?!” All of this comes out slightly mumbled, but Josuke gets the emotions laden behind every word as Okuyasu bunches up his shirt in anguish again, slowly relaxing his grip after a few seconds and a deep, shaky breath.
“Yeah, it’s a mess.” Josuke adds. “It’s a lot more complicated than what I went through with my grandpa….” He reflects back on the guilt he felt when Ryohei Higashikata was killed by Angelo’s stand, but...it was totally different. It was all an accident, he has a whole different type of trauma going on. At least he had a good relationship with his grandfather, unskewed by toxic behaviors and expectations. Unlike Okuyasu, who’s family life really seemed to have gone downhill after his mother’s death. Sure, Okuyasu didn’t share too much personal information, but when he did, Josuke tends to listen.
Eventually, realizing time has passed and he never continued his thought, Josuke goes with, “I’m sorry, Okuyasu…”
At this, Okuyasu begins crying once more. “Seeing him there, on,” he’s interrupted by a particularly loud hiccup, “fried, on the electrical wire was the worst!” He continues to cry, however, Josuke notices it's a little less intense. “I know he deserved it, but fuck!”
Josuke gnaws on his lower lip before quietly whispering, “I know, it’s screwed up.”
“And-and if that’s not enough,” Okuyasu heaves a shuddering breath before snaking his arms under Josuke, that way he’s not just laying on him but hugging him like he’ll slip from his grasp any second. His eyes are teary once again and his voice comes out in a whisper that cracks when he speaks, “What if I end up losing you, too?”
Ice shoots down Josuke’s spine at these words. The thought had really crossed his best friend’s mind that he’d die? “Hey,” he makes a point to squeeze Okuyasu, “That’s stupid talk, of course I’m not gonna die. I can’t just do that to you, now can I?”
Okuyasu just clings tighter, not assuaged at all as tears slowly make their way down his face.
“C’mon, after all of this, I can’t leave you. We’ve defeated a handful of Stands, I think I know what I’m doing at this point, right?”
“Yeah but you never know.” Okuyasu sniffles, “We don’t know who killed Shigechi. He might come after us. I just….I don’t want to lose you,” he ends in a small voice, voice cracking on the last few syllables once again.
“I promise I’m not going to go anywhere,” Josuke reassures, “I mean it. I’d miss you too much. I’m gonna kick anyone’s ass who ever comes near me. Or you, for that matter.” Josuke leans down to plant a gentle and quick kiss to the top of Okuyasu’s head. “I’m gonna be here no matter what. I’m gonna keep doing my best. Promise.”
Okuyasu is too stunned by the display of affection to say anything, so instead he opts to rebury his face in Josuke’s shirt. It made him feel a little better, at least for now. Maybe his thoughts about this WERE stupid and overplayed, just because of everything recently.
“We’re gonna be okay.” Josuke reiterates, reaching up to idly play with a loose strand of Okuyasu’s quickly falling-out-from-its-style hair.
There’s silence in the room for a while; only Josuke playing with Okuyasu’s hair as he processes everything, himself trying to imagine what Okuyasu is thinking about.
“Hey,” he eventually says after a few minutes of trying to work up the courage to break up the quietness.“What’re you thinking about right now?”
Okuyasu chuckles, which is a huge surprise, considering he was a sobbing mess just a bit ago. “Honestly? About how bad I feel for wiping my snotty nose on your shirt sleeve.”
Josuke recoils at this, nose scrunching in immediate distaste but grinning right afterwards. “Ew! I can’t believe you!” He yells, not actually terribly upset about it. “I have half a mind to push you off of me right now for your crimes against humanity!”
Okuyasu starts laughing at this too. “I’m sorry! I didn’t really think about it!”
Josuke sighs loudly, rolling his eyes with a huge smirk. “Yeah sure, keep tellin’ yourself that, bud. I’m never gonna forgive you.”
With a small smile gracing his features, Okuyasu finally detaches himself from Josuke. He sits up, rubs his eyes, and finally looks at Josuke again. “‘m sorry for dumping this all on you,” he starts off quietly. “But thanks for….everything.”
Josuke raises his eyebrows at the abrupt change of tone in the room. It was nothing, really. He’s just glad he was able to help. “It’s no problem, dude. I’ll always be here for you.” He flashes a smile that would dazzle even the brightest star, and it makes Okuyasu’s heart swell.
The next few moments are quiet and tense, filled with words neither teen can readily express as they avoid eye contact. “I’m really glad to have met you,” Okuyasu finally whispers, looking up at Josuke and grabbing his hands again. “I don’t think I’d be here if you didn’t intervene with Akira. I….” He looks to the side and gives Josuke’s hands a squeeze. “I think It’s a good thing my brother died, you know?” He looks back, thinking about what they had said earlier, “He couldn’t have lived normally. But even with all of that...I’m still gonna miss him.”
Josuke’s face heats up at the sincerity laden in Okuyasu’s first statement but nods solemnly. “Yeah, and that’s fine. I think it’’ll always be like that.” With a shrug, he lets go of Okuyasu’s hands, suddenly feeling the aching in his joints to move from the position he’s been in. “It doesn’t go away, it just dulls with time. I’ll be here to go through it with you.”
“Yeah, that sounds right,” Okuyasu agrees, duly missing the warmth of Josuke already. “Thanks.”
Josuke stands up and stretches. “And we’ll always remember Shigechi, and my grandpa, and even your brother, too.” He turns around and extends his hands, waiting for Okuyasu to get the memo he’ll help him up.
Instead, Okuyasu sits there for a few moments, ruminating over what his best friend was trying to say. “Yeah. Okay.” He grabs onto Josuke’s hands and, with the help of Josuke, pulls himself off the bed and right into Josuke’s arms (which the black haired teen had not been expecting). He wraps his arms around Josuke’s waist and leans his head on his shoulder. “I know I already said it, but thanks for being here.”
Josuke promptly delivers a crushing embrace back, one that picks Okuyasu up off the floor. When he releases the honey eyed teen, he smiles softly as he blows a strand of hair off his forehead. “I know I wasn’t in as bad a situation as you were, but don’t get me wrong; I’d be a different person without you, too. So no problem.” One last quick squeeze, and Josuke releases his grip. When he can see Okuyasu’s face again, he notices a new sort of…glow about him. It might just be the afternoon sunlight dappling the room through the broken shades, but Josuke swears it’s something different.
“So uh,” Okuyasu eventually clears his throat. “Now that I’m better, you wanna go play sumthin’?” He knows their tender moment has passed, and he’s sort of ready to get back to doing the whole teenage thing.
With a goofy smile as he elbows Okuyasu, Josuke replies smartly with, “Of course you dummy. Let’s see if you can finally beat my score in F-Zero!” before rushing out of the room, leaving Okuyasu there in the dust.
For just a few moments, Okuyasu stands there in the golden glow of his room, a small smile on his face. He relishes in the fact that he definitely grew closer with his best friend today. He feels good about where they’re at; hopefully, they’ll continue to hang out like this. Shaking himself out of the stupor, he runs after Josuke, already thinking of his gaming strategy.