Work Text:
As she hugged him tightly and whispered comforting words in his ear, she felt his warm blood pool under his shirt and onto her hand, making the tears flow faster and harder than before, feeling thicker and more acidic. She felt his head fall forward as life left his wonderful eyes and she heard the angry yells of the grounders around her but yet everything was so quiet. Clarke felt deaf and hollow and could hear Raven’s screams in the distance as Lexa quieted her people as if to show the respect she had for Clarke. She walked heavily back towards the camp as Raven murmured incoherent rambles to Bellamy. He could only make out small cries of “I owed him my life.” and “I told him he would be okay.” He saw how her sobs turned into dry heaving so he knew she was calming down enough. As much as he cared for Raven, he passed her off to Wick, trusting him to take care of her. Once he was sure she was okay enough to unlatch her arms from around his neck, he stood up and began running towards Clarke who had just began to make her way through the gates when he reached her and winded his arms around her waist. She reached up to circle her hands around his neck, and her shirt rose above her hips as she lifted her arms, but the minute his hands made contact with her bare back her knees went lame and collapsed underneath of her, bringing Bellamy down with her. Her slow and controlled tears turned into weeps. Clarke’s lips trembled and Bellamy crushed her to his chest, trying to add as much pressure to her cut skin to keep her in reality. Her whimpers were quiet but the sound made his heart ache.
“Bell?” Clarke whined softly. His only response was to hold her even tighter, if it was possible. He began to tremble inside but refused to cry, to show her he was strong and he could be her rock. He would always be there for her, and even if they had different feelings about Finn, he was just as upset that she was.
“You’ll be okay, Princess.” Bellamy muttered in her ear, and she began to shake more. He had said something wrong, done something wrong but he didn’t have time to ponder. He had to move forward, he had to make her better. He tried to pull her to her feet but to no avail.
Abby looked on in pain at her daughter and her companion and tried to form an apology, a consolation, something. But she knew only half of Clarke’s agony. Abby knew what it felt like to lose someone she loved. But this wasn’t entirely at Clarke’s hand and Abby didn’t feel as if she was enduring this almost every week. The day she saw Clarke before sending her to Earth her eyes still held glamour. Now, she was mostly stoic and stiff and robotic. From all the stories Abby had heard, the 100 had been through too much terror to fathom. She took a small step towards her daughter but was stopped by a hand pulling her arm back. Turning to face Marcus, he shook his head at her. He could see it too. This was not something Abby could fix. Clarke would need more than her mother to calm her.
“Clarke!” Everyone turned to face the source of the growl. Raven had stopped crying and her eyes were dark, pulling herself away from Wick and stomping viciously towards where Clarke and Bellamy were crouched on the ground, a shiny object in hand. No one made a move to stop her as she went to go attack Clarke with whatever she was holding. Bellamy stood between them, eyes flickering like fire and pushing her back.
“Raven, back off now. She had no choice – “
“She had a choice!” Raven boomed, her voice echoing into the forest and across the stretch of land that Camp Jaha occupied. You could hear her heavy breathing across the crowd.
“You don’t understand.” Clarke choked out, voice rough and coarse, surprising everyone of her input. “They were going to kill him no matter what I did or said. It was either just him, or him and everyone.” Legs shaking, she stood slowly, still somewhat cowering behind Bellamy.
“I swear to God, I’ll kill you.” Raven belted loudly. Guards began to take action at her words and advanced with stun batons extended. She lashed what appeared to be a dagger at the closest guard, cutting his skin, then turned towards Bellamy and threw a hard punch to his jaw, watching him drop to the ground. Raven stepped over him and grabbed Clarke’s collar. The guard’s froze, stunned and unsure of what to do, while Abby cried in the background with Marcus still holding her back.
“Raven, please, you have to understand. He was scared; there was nothing I could do to help. I just thought – “
“You thought wrong, Clarke. I told you to take the knife and slit her throat if Lexa refused to comply and you stabbed him instead! The minute you put the knife in his gut you stabbed me in the back!” Ravens tears rolled off her cheeks, down her chin and dropped onto Clarke’s chest as Raven held the dagger to Clarke’s throat.
Clarke spoke desultory, “Raven, think about this. Think about what Finn would have wanted. They would have torn him apart and tortured him to his slow and painful death and I did what I would have done for any of you.” She coughed, further showing her throats scratchiness. Raven’s eyes softened her grip on the dagger loosening. She rolled off of Clarke, and lay beside her in a heap. Bellamy began to regain consciousness and looked at the two of them in tears.
“How many are left?” Raven whispered, not taking her eyes off of the sky.
“Not enough.” Clarke replied, taking Ravens hand and holding back tears. Now, she needs to be the rock.