Work Text:
[Can't believe Tommy's a lesbian]
It was a simple joke, it was supposed to be seen as a silly comment, a quick haha and nothing too important or eye opening.Tommy's Minecraft character stilled as he thought about it... Why was he thinking about it??
'am I a lesbian?? Surely not... I'm a guy. Guys can be lesbians-'
"Chat let's think about this one" he jokingly said as his mind raced with millions of questions.
'why does it sound so perfect?? I'm not a lesbian. A lesbians is a GIRL who likes other girls. A woman who fancys other women, he's not a woman...'
He glanced back at the chat and let out a nervous laugh that he covered up with a louder laugh, "wait! No let's not think about this one were live infront of so many people!!" he continued the stream as planned and made no effort to bring back up the thirty seconds he spent thinking about a joke Dono.
--
Why was it two in the morning?? Why was tommy still hung up over being called a lesbian?? I mean, he knows he's a man. The most manliest of men.
With his broad shoulders... His short hair... His deep voice, his masculine face...As he started listing off everything masculine about himself he started to feel worse. It actually made him tear up, god what was wrong with him?? He nervously typed into Google different things to ease his mind.
[why do I feel like a girl]
[can a boy be a lesbian]
[why do I feel like shit when I call myself a boy]
[how do I know if I'm transgender]
[transgender]
[am I trans?]
[am I a trans girl]
[trans girl]
The more he looked into it the more he felt sick. Sick with relief and sick with anxiety.
He- no she was a trans girl. She, tommyinnit the manly man, was a trans girl. At least she thinks so... God she's pissed off that it's 2 in the fucking noting she needs to talk to someone she needs to, she feels horrible... She curls up on her bed, bring her knees to her chest. And closed her eyes.
~
in her dream she was hanging out with Tubbo as usual. What was odd was that she wasn't as tall. She was around the same height as Tubbo actually.
her blonde hair was long enough to be in a small braid over her shoulder. She was in her classic red and white T-shirt tucked into a red skirt. She was wearing normal shoes with socks that went to her shins. She felt so pretty.
she did a little twirl in the skirt, it fanned out and swished with her. She smiled widely, she looked down at her body. Her hips were wider and she had small breasts. It was perfect, she felt like she could do anything. She twirled again and when she looked down at herself she was back to 'normal'
.
.
.
~
Tommy shot up out of bed, she looked down at her body, still in the clothes she wore yesterday and felt sick. She was still ridiculously tall. She still had broad shoulders, a completely flat chest, short curly hair, she wanted to cry so badly.
She looked at the clock, she had slept in. Luckily it was like, what? Saturday?? She wasn't sure. But it had to be either Saturday or Sunday cause her mother never let her sleep in this late.
She reached for her phone and opened her contacts, she needed to tell someone. She needed to be told she was being stupid. She was a he. She was a man. She was still tommy... Of course she didn't really wanna hear that, she wanted to be told she was okay, she was a she, she was a woman and she was still... Still.. Tommy? she didnt even want to think about a new name, she had a few ideas though... all she knew was that 'Tommy' wasn't gonna cut it anymore.
She took a deep breath. Who could she trust?? Well, everyone on the smp... But she decided to go with Wilbur. Someone who she saw as a big brother. He'd tell her straight.
[Tommyinnit] hey Wilbur, can we talk?
[Wilbur Soot] what's up child?
[Tommyinnit] haha very funny
It's serious
[Wilbur Soot] oh shit, what did you do? Are you being cancled?? TOS??
[Tommyinnit] no
No
I think I'm a girl
[Wilbur Soot is calling...]
Tommy watched the phone ring and out of panic threw it across her bed. She panicked again and raced to answer before it went away. "..Wilbur?" she said softly, anxiously.
"Tommy- is Tommy okay?? What do I call you? Pronouns??" Wilbur's voice came through the call and in an instant, calmed down her nerves.
"I.. Um...i dunno Wilbur. .this is all new to me.. .i dunno if I'm a girl or not I just, I dont think.. No I know I'm not a boy. " she said softly.
Wilbur made a sort of humming noise, "here, lemme try something and tell me if you feel something okay??" She visibly nodded before making a noise of agreement.
"Tommyinnit is a gremlin child. I can't be mad at her though, She's always been like a little sister to me. " as wilbur finnished, her breath hitched. It sounded so right, so perfect.
"I-i liked that.. I liked that a lot- too much... Wilbur I'm all wrong!!" she said softly, covering her face with her hands.
"Nonono! Where is nothing wrong about you. Absolutely nothing. Why do you think you're wrong??" Wilbur asked, his voice filled with concern and a bit of anger??
"I'm a boy who thinks I'm a girl!! There's something wrong with me!! I was okay before! Now I wanna have long hair that I can braid and wear skirts and twirl in them, I wanna wear makeup and be called a she and a her I wanna be a girl so badly!! I wanna be a pretty girl... I wanna be a pretty girl.. I wanna be a girl wilby I'm all messed up!!" she finally sobbed. It felt so fucking good to get it off her chest.
"listen to me, listen carefully. you are not a boy pretending to be a girl. You are not a boy who THINKS she's a girl. You are a girl. You are a girl. " Wilbur repeats it for good measure too. Her eyes widen and she let's out a shaky breath that she felt like she's been holding in her whole life. She feels like she can actually breathe and it feels do good!
"I'm.. I'm a girl" she whispers. "you're a girl" Wilbur confirms. More tears slipped down her face, tears of joy. She finally felt like herself, she didn't have a name but she felt like herself.
"thank you! Thank you thank you god, thank you so much" she sobbed.
"hey, no problem. Have any name ideas??" Wilbur asks. She would be lying if she said she didn't have names she's always really liked,
"well... I always kept track of surten feminine names I liked.. I never knew why, I just really liked them... Guess I was subconsciously envious of them... I dunno.. Uh, I like the names Victoria, Madison, Alice, sofia, Elizabeth, Emery, Aha, Clementine" she let out a soft laugh.
"they're all beautiful names. whichever one you choose will be perfect." Wilbur says. she can hear the smile in his voice as he says it. she starts to wipe the tars away from her face. soft sniffles could be heard from her but wilbur payed no mind.
"i dunno," Her voise cut the peaceful silence. "I really like Emery and Elizabeth.. i cant choose!!" she said with a smile. she liked the idea of being called both. Emeryinnit or Elininnit they both sounded so nice.
"Why choose?? I mean, just a suggestion feel free to ignore but you could make one your fist name and the other your middle??" Wilbur added. Tommy thought about it...
"how does... how does Emery Elizabeth {insert last name here cause tommy doesn't like his real last name used :)] sound??" she asked, "Like, my first name could be Emery but i go by Elizabeth?? cause really, i like the idea of being called both!! though i lean towards Elizabeth?? My channel could be renamed to ELIINNIT!!!!" She explaimed. getting more excited as she spoke.
"Do we have a winner miss Emery Elizabeth??" Wilbur jokingly asked. though the way he so casually called her a miss and used her real name made her wanna cry. happy tears of course. the feeling of being called her name made her never wanna be called Tommy again. he couldnt wait till her friends called her by her name, when her parents called her by her name, the world to call her by her name!! her...
"FUCK!! WHat do i tell my parents!?!? 'Hello my name is Emery Elizabeth, im no longer tommy, your son and im now your daughter?? The fuck do i do big man!?" Elizabeth exclamed feafully. she knew her parents would support her, of course they would. it still freaked her out though.
"It'll be okay El, dont worry. are you gonna tell the others??" Wilbur asked. Elizabeth thought for a moment, she definetly wanted to tell everyone. she so desperetly wanted to let her friends know about everyhing. she nodded beofre remembering again she was not on video.
"yeah, do you think you could do it though?? Like on the discord... uh not until i tell Tubbo though! He's my best friend i wanna tell him myself!!" she said witha a smile. Wilbur made a hum of agreement. "Alright just tell me when you want me to tell 'em. just so you know, im super proud of you El, " that sentance alone lamost made Elizabeth burst into tears like a power hose.
"God damn it Wilbur!! You're gonna make me cry again!! Piss off with that sappy shit!! No but really, thank you so so much!! I'll tell you when to tell the others. bye! Love you" She said with a smile. she heard Wilbur laugh and give a 'bye, love you too child' and hang up.
Elizabeth sat up a bit more on her bed. a wide smile on her face. she hopped up and sat at her desk chair and called tubbo. she took in a huge breath of air. she knew for a fact that Tubbo would support her. he was her best friend of course, she was still nervous though. she lifted her head and gaze away from her lap when tubbo joined the call.
"Hey Tommy!!" She winced and bit the inside of her cheek. 'Hey Big T!! How are you??" she asks as casually as she can. they have a small talk about all of the totally crazy day tubbo had not streaming. when he was one he asked her how her day went. she let out a soft laugh and a sugh.
"uh, thats actually what i wanted to talk about!! um... so recently id been feeling really... erm...off?? like, its a feeling i can always remember having ever since i was young but it had gotten bad... um, i found out what the bitchy feeling was called! Uh, Gender dysphoria!! Um, Tubbo i really trust you. i want to um.. i guess reintroduce myself?? Hi! Im Emery Elizabeth and im a trans girl, she/her... im really sorry if this is a bit sudden for you, its honestly still a bit sudden to me too... of course im still the same person!! I just- im not- i dont-" Elizabeth had lost all the confidence she had at the beggining and was starting to get anxious. Tubbo stayed quiet, just nodding along. when he was sure tommy was done talking he took a deep breath and chose his words carefully.
"Listen, i'm not very uh.. whats the word, i dont have a clue about a subject like this... but just know i support you!! im gonna try to get more knowledgeable about this to help you in anyway that i can!! I'll always be here for you emery." he said with a smile. Elizabeth knew she would be supported but hearing it come out of Tubbo's mouth made the rush of relief feel like a tsunami.
"Thank you tubbo" she said with a wide smile.
"wait- does this mean you're a lesbian???" Tubbo suddenly asks. Elizabeth blinks, holy shit did this come full circle. she bursts out into her usual laughter, Tubbo joining in.
"YEAH!!! WHO NEEDS MEN?? I DON' NEED EM' NO MO'!!" Elizabeth giggled happily. she quickly sent a text to Wilbur giving him the okay,
[Wilbur soot] @everybody Tommy will now be going as Emery off stream and Elizabeth on. she will be using she/her pronouns as well. if you chose not to respect her you will be kicked, hunted down at most likely eaten.
[Philza] Hell yeah! finally a daughter!!
[Technoblade] pog
also i told you i could speak to women
[Tubbo_] LESBIANINNIT
[Clemeninnit] LESBIANINNIT!!!!!!!!!
[Quackity] woman??
[Clemeninnit] why yes
[Quackity] pog
[dream] Congrats!!
[fundy] Elizabeth is an e-girl confirmed
[Eret] Welcome my LGBT sister, but really i'm so happy for you!!
she let out a wet laugh at all of her friends supporting her. tearing up again. she was so happy that she was so accepted. now the scary part, publically coming out. but she didnt want to think about that right now. instead she dms F1NN5TER and Niki for some clothing ideas. she couldnt be happier.