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“Guys, can you give us five minutes, please?” Julie asks their producers and audio engineers in her sweetest voice.
Luke’s eyes widen in panic. That voice, saccharine from between clenched teeth, means trouble…usually for him. He glances over at Alex who glares back and Reggie won’t even look at him.
Shit. Definitely trouble for him.
When the door clicks shut behind Brian, their lead producer, Julie wheels around, hands on her hips, her hair wild as she closes in on him.
“What is your problem?” she asks, pointing into his chest. He takes a step back and raises his hands in surrender.
“Jules,” he says, when the wall of the studio booth gets in the way of his hasty retreat.
“Don’t Jules, me. Why are you being such a dick about this? It’s your song, you wrote it this way.”
“Yeah,” he says, running a head over the back of his head. “And I’m rethinking it.”
“Why?” Julie asks, crossing her arms over her chest. It’s…distracting. He glances down at the neckline of her henley tank, the top two buttons are undone and unconsciously he licks his lips. Just this morning he’d woken her up with his tongue tracing the lines of her body. He’d started right there at the swell of her breast before trailing lower and lower, worshiping every inch of her…
“Luke,” her voice draws him back, sharp, tense and not at all the way she’d gasped his name this morning when she finally woke under his touch. It was still wild to him that he was allowed to touch her like that, but six months ago, she’d blown his mind, in more ways than one and now they’re together, really together, as in looking at real estate and he’s caught himself glancing at rings more than once and wondering whether or not she’d find it charming or be offended if he asked Ray for his blessing, kind of together.
The door creaks and he glances up over Julie’s head and watches Alex and Reggie disappear through it, clearly getting out of the line of fire.
“Sorry, I just…”
Her eyes narrow, but she repeats what he said just before she sent the production team away. “You don’t want Shawn Mendes on this track.”
“No. I don’t think it’s fair to Reggie or to Alex for that matter.”
“The part is too low for Reggie and Alex can’t do this part. It’ll screw with the performance on stage. You know what it should look like, three people out in front, Alex can’t drum and be out with us at the same time and you know he’s not gonna let a drum machine take his place. Plus, he doesn’t actually want to sing it. We need another voice. This is how you wrote the song, Luke, so I’m gonna ask again, what’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem.”
“Okay, so no to Shawn. How about Harry?”
“Styles? No. None of those guys”
“What about Luke Hemmings…from 5SOS?”
“No.”
“Nick…” she starts and then when his eyes narrow at that name, she finishes, “Jonas.”
“Julie,” he whines. He knows he’s been caught and he knows he’s being ridiculous. It’s just a song. She’s a professional. Whoever they bring in will be professional too. And yet…he’s…
“Are you jealous?”
He doesn’t answer and that’s all the answer she needs.
“I knew it! You wrote this song as a love triangle, it needs another voice and you’re…jealous.”
Letting out a disgruntled huff, mostly annoyed at himself, he waves a hand out wildly. “Of every guy who’s ever been in your field of vision, who’s known the smell of your hair, who’s held your body against his? Yes. I’m jealous and if some other guy comes in and sings with you on this track, I’ll be jealous and when we make the video for it and the director inevitably wants you pressed against him while you sing the words I wrote, I’ll be jealous and when we perform on stage and your eyes meet his, I’ll be fucking jealous. Yeah, it’s ridiculous, but that’s…just…how I feel.”
She softens at the confession, her shoulders dropping, the crinkle between her eyebrows easing.
“Do you…do you want to cut the song from the album?”
Luke blinks and tilts his head. “It’s that simple?”
“I guess?” she says, shrugging. “We ask Reggie and Alex if they’re cool with cutting it, but…if you’re that uncomfortable then we cut it….but.”
“I knew there was a but.”
“But it’s….it’s really fucking good, Luke. One of your best. You know I love everything you write, but this is…this is raw and emotional and it feels like you took another step, musically and I wouldn’t want that to go to waste just because you feel like maybe I don’t…like…”
“Like what, Julie?” he asks stepping closer, taking her hands gently in his.
“I think sometimes you think I don’t love you as much as you love me.”
It’s like she’s punched him directly in the chest. Shit…how does she…how does she just…
“How do you do that?” he rasps, gazing down at her in wonder.
“Do what?” she asks, squeezing his hands.
“Completely wreck me like that, just…know exactly what I’m feeling before I do and just…” he trails off, lifting her hands to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss to each. He doesn’t know how to put it to words. All he knows is that he loves her so much, too much, so much that she can’t possibly love him that way. It’s just…impossible.
“You know I do though, right? I love you so much,” she says, pulling one hand free and reaching out for his face. Her fingertips are warm against the line of his jaw and he leans into the touch. “I told you, in that stupid fucking bathroom six months ago. When I say you have nothing to worry about, I mean it. It’s you, it always has been. You’re everything to me, Luke and if I’ve made you feel like you have to worry about that, then that’s on me and I’m sorry.”
His stomach twists. He’s such a dick.
“Shit, Jules, no, you don’t…you don’t make me feel that way. It’s me being…ridiculous.”
“It’s not ridiculous if that’s how you’re feeling.”
He leans down, his forehead resting against hers and just for a second breathes her in, the soft coconut of her shampoo, the light jasmine in her perfume before relaxing completely as her arms come around his waist and pull him close. He wants to say it, right now, just press his mouth to her ear and whisper, marry me, but that’s not fair. She deserves more than a half-sighed proposal after a fight, but one day soon he’ll do it. For now, he just squares his shoulders and says, “Nicholas Petricca.”
Julie pulls back and tilts her head. “From Walk the Moon?”
“Yeah, when I was writing it, that’s whose voice I imagined. I think it’d blend really beautifully with yours and he’d get our sound.”
She nods. “Yeah, I agree, he would. Should we have Andi make a call?”
“Nah, I’ll reach out. I got his number when we met up with them at the AMA’s last year.”
“Okay, but only if you’re sure.”
Lifting his eyes to hers, he holds the contact and something loosens in his chest, a knot he had no idea had twisted in on itself was suddenly gone. He smiles and she returns it, lighting up into her eyes. A man could lose himself in them for years. He’d know.
“Yeah. I’m sure.”