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Roman wasn’t feeling like himself that day. Most often when he felt like that, he didn’t even know why. It was frustrating. He felt out of control, he always did. He fucking hated it.
Those kinds of moods either made him want to crawl in a hole and just not come back out until he felt better, or he would talk and talk and talk, about everything that was crossing his mind. He was aware of how fucking exhausting it must be, but fuck, it was even worse to have all those thoughts repeat themselves over and over again, until they’re let out eventually.
So naturally, when Victor wasn’t listening for maybe just one topic Roman was suddenly bringing up, he exploded. In the back of his mind, he knew that Zsasz tried his best to always listen and calm him down and be there for him, but when he was feeling so awful, it didn’t matter anymore.
“Fuck! You never fucking listen to me, Zsasz! Do you have any fucking idea how fucking exhausting it is to be me? No, you fucking don’t! And then you’re even fucking ignoring me? Are you serious? Fuck you! Why don’t you just leave me the fuck alone, huh? You’re so fucking dense, you know that? You don’t fucking get it, do you? You stupid fucking fuck! I’m fucking suffering here and what are you doing? Nothing!” Roman was seething with rage, as he kept yelling at Victor, he even started throwing pillows at the other man.
“I’m sorry, Boss,” Victor said, raising his hands in a placating manner and putting on his most soothing voice.
It only enraged Roman more. By then, his yelling had become incoherent, and he couldn’t even remember what he had shouted if he wanted to.
What he remembered, though, was Victor suddenly being in his face and grabbing his wrists, like he always did when he was so upset. Roman tried to wrench from his grip to no avail, although granted, his attempts were half-assed.
Breathing heavily, he slowly came back to himself, staring at Victor, who looked openly concerned about him.
“You know I always listen to you, Roman.” He spoke with such devotion, such honesty, that it took Roman’s breath away.
“I know,” Sionis rasped, nodding to emphasise his understanding, “I was just… I- I don’t know. I didn’t mean any of it. You know that. Right?”
“I do. Don’t worry,” Victor replied, talking so smoothly and quietly, smiling slightly.
“I’m not worried,” Roman lied. He was worried. He didn’t want to lose Victor, ever. He knew he was being difficult sometimes and that he often said hurtful things without meaning them, at least not to Victor, but he didn’t want to drive the only person that meant something to him away with it. “You wouldn’t leave me, would you?”
“Only in a body bag, and even then. Who knows if I wouldn’t find a way back to you?” Victor grinned, showing off his two gold teeth, Roman loved when he did that.
“‘Kay,” he sighed deeply, hanging his head and resting his forehead against Victor’s shoulder, “Do you have any idea how much you mean to me, Victor?” The question was whispered, so hoarsely and softly, as if he didn’t actually want him to hear it. And maybe he really didn’t.
“I do, Roman,” Victor said, letting go of Roman’s wrists and wrapping his arms around his waist, rubbing his back soothingly. “Let me make you feel better, hm?” It was rasped into Roman’s ear, which was almost directly next to Victor’s lips.
Roman could only nod. He was exhausted, felt extremely drained, but fuck, he just wanted- no, needed - Victor to make him feel better, and like himself again. He didn’t know what he would do without Zsasz, but luckily he most likely never had to find out.