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Izuku doesn’t even remember what led to the rather existential conversation about society, the hero industry, and, inevitably, quirks. Moreover, their own quirks.
Iida led the conversation as he made the initial comment that shifted it out of nowhere. They were talking about what the superior milkshake flavour was for crying out loud! How did he even get from that to this?! Izuku was in near shambles, he knew sooner or later their focus would shift to him. Full of suspicion and questions that he didn’t want to answer yet.
Tuning back into the conversation Izuku picked up on the beginning of whatever Uraraka was adding to Iida’s argument, “I mean, yeah, I get that! But what about how there’s literally two ranking systems because popularity and actually being a good hero don’t actually coincide somehow! I swear the popularity rankings are just based on looks and whoever the public finds the most hot!” Tsuyu and Iida nodded along in agreement with her.
Todoroki cut in with a disgusted purse to his lips, “If that's the case somehow the public thinks my father is actually attractive considering he’s still, somehow, in the top 30 on the popularity poll every month. And that he’s a good hero, since he’s ranked at number one now.” At this the whole group paused because… yikes. Yeah, the implications of that statement just did not add up. They all knew how reckless Endeavour was when he was on a scene. Deaths which were always claimed to be accidental, collateral, or necessary (they weren’t) and so much damage to the surrounding buildings and roadways.
Everyone sagely nodded, some stared out ahead of them thinking for a moment. Trying to come up with something because, gods, if you think too much about these things they start to fall apart before your eyes. And at 16 and going into said industry they would rather not think about that.
“Quirks? The stronger or prettier quirks always have a lead in the popularity polls. Or personality, the more showman-like you are the more consistency people seem to have.” Tsuyu tacked on after several silent moments.
Izuku finally found his voice because, yeah, everything seemed to fall back onto quirks, “That would probably make the most sense? Like Hawks for example, his quirk is incredibly powerful and versatile which leads to him being a good hero, hence the number two ranking, and he’s incredibly extroverted… almost cocky… with the public, which would make sense to how he’s never dropped from the top five for popularity.”
“That does, indeed, make the most sense. It would also explain Endeavour’s rankings and how the rest of the pros with unique and consistent personalities are so high on the popularity poll, no matter where they rank within the actual hero ranking system.” Iida spoke, or yelled, depending on who you asked and if they were used to his antics.
“Oh, wait! Okay, so if we stick with that kind of thinking, where do you guys think we’ll end up on the charts when we go pro?!” Uraraka’s questions got a wave of wide eyes in response before everyone’s eyes looked around the group with scrutinising eyes.
Izuku looked amongst the group, all of them thinking of their probable rankings along with their friends’, but all Izuku could think was: oh fuck. Hmm, Kacchan really was rubbing off on him.
He did indeed think about it though. Uraraka would probably be ranked within top 30 on the hero charts because of her intuitive fighting method and the rescue capabilities of her quirk. Her personality is also rather bubbly and kind in general so her popularity would be high, most likely.
Iida would probably be similar to his brother’s current popularity in rankings because of all their similarities in personality and style in general. That’s excluding Iida’s fighting style which focuses on speed and kicks rather than speed and punches but that’s easy to swap out in a metaphorical sense.
Todoroki would undoubtedly rank high in the hero charts because of his versatility with his quirk, fighting style, efficiency, and the rescue abilities his quirk lets him work with. He’s rather indifferent, almost seeming cold, to people he isn’t necessarily close to which could affect his popularity but if the general public is anything like high school they’ll look past that and see it as charming. He’s also just attractive which will help him in popularity ranking no matter what.
Tsu has amazing rescue strategies due to her sense enhancements and maneuverability. She has both long and short range. She’s also very kind and honest which the public will appreciate. Genuine people always manage to rank within top 50 because they seem more like people rather than idols and adults love that. Children also find it guiding.
Meaning most likely all of them would rank within the top 50 on either chart once they properly debut and the public recognises them. Of course closing your rank will take time but once everything is established that’s where they’ll probably end up.
Izuku did not notice he mumbled his entire string of thoughts aloud to everyone.
Glancing up, he finally refocused on the present and everyone was staring at him with wide, impressed eyes.
“You really think we’ll all end up in the top 50? On either chart?” Uraraka asked, her voice laced with awe. Iida nodded.
Tsu cocked her head to the side, “Your analysis was very impressive. You took a lot into consideration on all of us to deduct where you think the results would end up.” Izuku’s face flooded red, he would never get used to compliments given towards him so freely. Especially from Tsuyu since she didn’t lie. She would rather offend someone temporarily than sugar coat her words.
“Ah, it wasn’t much…”
“No, it was impressive.” Todoroki said with a conviction Izuku didn’t even think he was capable of prior.
“You didn’t mention yourself though.” Tsuyu noted idly. Izuku stiffened. Fuck.
Uraraka shook slightly in excitement before saying, “Oh, yeah! You didn’t. Speaking of, we don’t even know your quirk… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you use it? Is it mental? Oh! Is analysis your quirk?!”
“That would make sense. He figures out quirks, people, and plans faster than us and they’re always reliable. Having an analysis quirk would help him deduce things with such high probabilities of being correct!” Iida said. His eyes were resolute like he already accepted the idea of Izuku having a quirk that analysed things.
Izuku having a quirk… he has to physically shake his head to get far, far away from that train of thought. He didn’t have one. He never would. He no longer really wanted one. He accepted that. But old habits die hard and killing off toxic thought processes was even harder.
“Um. No, I don’t actually have an analysis quirk. But uh, thanks for thinking they’re so good that I would?” Izuku’s voice was wobbly in the worst way. Anxiety was already coursing through his entire body, flooding his system with unease that made his semi-nauseous.
Everyone, even Tsuyu, looked surprised at that.
“Then what is it?” Todoroki asked. His voice wasn’t unkind, just curious.
Izuku still felt a horrible sense of dread knot itself together in his chest.
“I actually… uh, sorry, I don’t know how to say this,” Izuku paused, taking an almost gasping breath. It was pointless there was no way to calm himself down when having this kind of conversation. “I’m quirkless.” His voice was but a whisper. Barely audible but it felt as though he screamed it.
The room went quiet. And cold, so very cold. Todoroki’s quirk was undeniably affecting the temperature of the room and the fact that it was his cold side? Not good.
A panic attack was pushing itself forward with a force much too recognisable to Izuku. So he did the only thing he knew to do. He blocked it out. Went completely emotionally detached from the situation. To paraphrase: he dissociated. A terrible defence mechanism his mind came up with when he was much too young. There were only so many ways a 5 year old could block out bullies and parents fighting every day.
Kacchan was trying to help him kick the habit. So was Aizawa. But in situations that practically mirrored his past? Yeah, there was no hope.
“You… don’t have a quirk?” Uraraka’s voice almost felt distant. Looking around Izuku realised it was because she stood up, probably out of shock. He was still sitting on the floor.
“They let a quirkless person into the hero course?” And oh . That was Todoroki’s voice wasn't it?
“It seems rather dangerous to have someone naturally weaker training to become a hero.” There was Tsuyu. Always terribly honest with her opinions.
Naturally weaker… huh. Izuku’s mind raced with the conversation that happened not more than 5 minutes ago that was praise for Izuku being reliable and seemingly gifted with his ability to analyse.
“I don’t think I’m comfortable with having someone quirkless fighting alongside me.” Iida’s voice was almost grating on Izuku’s ears. There was a cutting edge to it that had never made itself known before.
This was all too familiar to Izuku. The immediate change from his peers once they learned about his lack of quirk. He did not dare to look back up at them. He could picture the judgement. The disgust. And, usually, oddly enough, betrayal. Like never specifying he was quirkless was a terrible treacherous lie that made an endless canyon stretch between and separate them.
“Oh.” Was all Izuku could say. He idly realised they weren’t in his room today. They were in Uraraka’s. Meaning Izuku would have to physically leave if they wanted him gone, rather than just them walking away from him. In a wild, metaphorical sense; that realisation made everything much worse.
Theoretically, that would be him walking away from their friendship. Leaving them behind. Rather than them leaving him. He didn’t want to leave though. Yet, deep down, he knew they would make him. And, oh, they were talking again. Not to him. But it was about him.
It’s already started.
“He’s a liar! He made us think he had a quirk when he didn’t!” Uraraka sounded broken which made no sense to Izuku. What kind of self-proclaimed best friend pointed blame like that? Especially on something Izuku never claimed to have or could change. Being quirkless was a part of his identity.
“She’s right. We’ve been made to believe he was equal to us and just as powerful. When in reality he wasn’t and we’ve been putting someone in danger this whole time.”
That doesn’t make sense! Izuku wanted to scream. Literally yesterday in training Izuku bested Todoroki in a fight three times in a row . He wasn’t weak! He was strong! He’s worked so, so hard to get to where he is. Has proven himself to them. And yet…
They’re just like the rest.
Suddenly there was a hand waving in front of his face. It was Iida. He looked up finally, and yep, he was right. All the expressions he imagined were indeed there. The disgust, confusion, and betrayal.
“We’re uncomfortable with the fact you’ve lied to us,” again he didn’t lie, he never claimed to have a quirk, “So we came to the decision that we’d like for you to leave.”
Wow. That was…
That was cruel. They wanted him to leave. He knew what they meant. The full meaning. He could hear it in Iida’s tone, see it in the lines of their faces. Still he asked.
“Like leave the room? So you guys can like… come to terms? Or adjust?” Izuku could hear that tragic note of hope in his own voice.
Todoroki’s nose scrunched, this was the most expressive Izuku has ever seen him. Tsuyu just stared at him with a deadpan expression, she could tell it was a question he knew the answer to.
“No.” Was all he got in response. Still from Iida, good ol’ class rep coming forth to represent their decision of kicking him out of the friend group. Izuku wanted to laugh. He didn’t though, he knew how people saw that. He didn’t want them to think even worse of him.
“Oh, alright.” Izuku’s voice was devoid of emotions. Crystal clear in the sense it was perfectly even, completely unreadable.
He gingerly stood up from the floor. Uraraka was now sitting on the edge of her bed, Todoroki standing near her. Iida and Tsuyu were still sitting on the floor though both of them had stiff posture, their backs ramrod straight. Izuku looked at them, one by one, in the eyes. Trying to decipher their feelings. Hoping and searching to see remorse or a grain of anything that would mean they’d allow him back in once they came to terms with this newfound information.
There was nothing. Nothing he wanted to see but everything he expected to see.
As if on autopilot Izuku nodded at them, one last acknowledgment before walking out of the room. He doesn’t remember the walk back to his own dorm. But he knows he ends up sideways on his bed, legs bent at the knee to hang off the side of the bed while he faced the ceiling. As if he had just flopped onto it as soon as it was in range.
He doesn’t notice the tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. There’s no heavy, dramatic sobbing. He’s too used to this exact situation. Of being left behind. Of people seeing him so differently so quickly. Just the quiet grieving of friends that he honestly thought would be different.
Izuku takes out his phone and reaches over to snatch his earphones off his nightstand. After placing the white buds in his ears he swipes through his music library.
The song filters through. His gaze once again on the ceiling. Expression still carefully blank because he will not let this break him. At least not yet.
I’ll drive all night through my hometown
You can drive your knife through my chest now
I’ma crash my car by your old house
‘Cause all I’ll ever be is a letdown