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The planet really didn’t give him a reason to be as tense as he was.
As far as planets went, this one was lovely. There were blue skies, green fields and a soft breeze flowing. It didn’t seem hostile, or dangerous in any way.
“Ah!” Grogu screeched, begging to be sat down.
Din knew what he was going to try to do. The green gremlin was going to try to clamber back into the ship. He didn’t want to be here and both of them knew it.
“Kid.” Din tried, levelling his voice in a way that only came with years of practice.
Of course, Grogu didn’t listen.
“Grogu.” Din said. Grogu still squirmed.
“ Ad'ika.” Din finally said, and considering what he was about to do, he felt awful about it.
Grogu instantly stopped squirming when he heard the term.
Din sighed. It was a bad day when Grogu would only respond to Din calling him his son rather than his own name. Honestly, Din didn’t blame Grogu for having the bad day in the first place.
“This is the Way.”
The child straight up frowned at him, which was insanely cute, but also entirely unhelpful.
“Grogu.”
The kid squirmed again.
“ Ad'ika .” Din tried again. He only kept his level through the literal years he had on record of caring for the child. “This was the deal. You need to find more of your own.”
Grogu shook his head.
“You’ll see once you meet them.” Din said, beginning to walk forward. Grogu squirmed, obviously unhappy, and Din fought against the rising bile in his throat to keep going. It was funny how he could kill someone without a second thought, but simply doing the right thing was enough to finally break him.
Grogu let out a wail, and it was almost enough to make Din abandon this mission all together. The child didn’t cry like that very often unless something was seriously wrong.
“Grogu, you’re making this harder than it needs to be.”
The kid only continued to wail.
Din groaned - his already thin patience and waning dedication was enough to make him snap a lot quicker than he wanted to.
“ Ad’ika. I don’t want to do this any more than you do.” Din said, his voice wavering. He brought the child up to mask level. “But I have to. I have to do right by you.”
This finally quieted Grogu down some. Din hadn’t wanted to admit just how much he didn’t want to do this, but apparently that was what the kid needed.
He had done a lot of things he didn’t want to do because the kid needed it.
Memories flashed forward unwillingly. He thought of all the times he had saved Grogu, all the times he had kissed him or hugged him.
This would have been so much easier if he had just stayed with Ashoka.
Now he’s got years of memories. He’s got years of bonding and cuddles and love to just… walk away from.
Din shakes it off. It’s for the greater good.
“I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t what was best for you. You know that, right?”
Grogu looked at him with his huge brown eyes. Din wished he could talk to the kid more effectively. It wasn’t the first time this had crossed his mind, but it hit him that he wouldn’t have a use for it now. Soon he would be on his own again.
Under his helmet, Din closed his eyes. He didn’t have time to grieve right now. He had to get this done and clean up the mess later.
There was the sound of a weapon being drawn. Instantly, Din had his shooter out, but he recognized the sound. It was just like the lazer swords Ashoka had wielded.
A man, small and skinny, came out of the shadows. He had shaggy, light brown hair and a mechanical hand. He was glaring at Din, and Grogu whimpered.
“Put the baby down.” The man said.
“I don’t think either of us wants that.” Din said, knowing the hell the child would unleash. All of his fight to be put down were gone in the presence of a new person.
“I don’t have a quarrel with you, Mandalorian.” The man said. “We may have been enemies in the past, but I’m willing to forgive if you let the child go.”
It was a cold slap of understanding. The man thought he was hurting the kid.
From a distance, he could understand it. Din’s large hands cupped the child’s middle, and from far away, it seemed uncomfortable, but Din had years of experience. His hold was gentle and comfortable. It also allowed him to look Grogu in the eyes when he was talking. Usually this hold was reserved for private, more serious conversations.
“I’m not gonna hurt him.”
“Set him down slowly.” The man said.
“I don’t think he wants that.”
“How do you know what he-” The man locked eyes with Grogu, who tilted his head.
Jealousy rushed through his gut as he realized the man was talking to Grogu. He was using the … force whatever to do it. Din tried to tamp the jealousy down. If this guy was going to be Grogu’s next caretaker, then it would be best to be able to communicate.
Behind his mask, shame burned his cheeks when the jealousy’s heat raged on, but he didn’t let it show on the outside. He wouldn’t. He had to be strong for this.
“You … took care of him.” The man said, his voice in awe.
“I was …” Din cleared his throat, trying to wipe away the emotion building within it. “I was tasked with bringing him to a Jedi for training.”
“He looks like…” The man said, his eyes back on Grogu. “You are… Wow, this is… I never expected to see another of your kind!”
“So, you’ll train him?”
“Of course.” The man said. “I’m Luke… and he says he’s Grogu.”
“I know.” Din said, but he hated the fact that he hadn’t found out from his own conversations with the kid. He had found out through a Jedi, which only cemented the fact that Grogu was better off here.
“Oh.” Luke said, frowning. “He says he doesn’t want training.”
Din sighed. “Yeah, he’s being… a little picky about it. I’m sure once he sees…” Grogu gripped Din’s armor, and Din looked down. He felt conflicted, like his heart was eating itself at the idea of leaving the kid. But this was better for him, it had to be.
“You can … come into town.” Luke suggested. “That might make it easier.”
Din didn’t really want to do that. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible, but it didn’t look like Grogu was making it easier on him. Short of throwing the kid at Luke and running, he wasn’t able to leave any other way.
“Okay. If they’ll have me.”
Luke smiled. “They’re an accepting group. I’m their teacher, so what I say goes.”
The man winked and gestured for them to follow. Din sighed once more and carried the kid behind Luke. The kid whined, pointing to the ship, but Din paid it no mind. At this point, he had to just show Grogu what he could have and that would be enough.
The temple sat atop a green hill. It was huge and open - much better than his old ship was. That thing had been torn apart and put back together so many times that it barely functioned. This was much newer.
Kids ran around playing. They all wore the same clothing Luke did, and Din realized these must be his students. They looked happy, vibrant.
Grogu would love it here.
Speaking of the kid, Din looked down to check on him. He had hoped that the child would be looking around and realizing just how amazing a place this was. Maybe he would be itching to go play with kids so that way Din could sneak off.
But instead, the kid’s ears were tucked into his head, and he still looked sullen, defeated.
Din feels like the worst person in the world.
Luke introduced them to a few other teachers and some students. Din doesn’t want to know their names. He doesn’t want to know any of this. He just wants the kid to be happy here, so he could feel better about fulfilling his quest.
No such luck.
After a few hours and a delicious meal, Luke pulled Grogu away to train. Grogu was of course, not interested in using his powers for anyone but Din. And even then, he purposefully did whatever was the opposite of what Din asked. He was showing his powers off, for sure, but also making Din’s life a living hell for doing it.
Din, unfortunately, had a plan. It didn’t matter how powerful the child grew - he was always tired after using the Force. So eventually, the kid curled up in the crook of his arm and was dead to the world.
Din knew what he had to do. It was time for him to go.
“He’s really attached to you.” Luke said, his voice soft as he stood in the doorway.
“We’ve been through a lot together.” Din said. “But he’s better off here.”
“Attachments like this… they can be tricky. Dangerous, even. The powers he has are strong for someone his relative age. He may be too attached to-”
“I prepared him.” Din told Luke. “He knew this was coming. He’ll adjust, just like he always does.”
Luke didn’t say anything, and Din didn’t want to look at him to see the disappointed look he could feel the man giving him.
With years of expertise, Din sat the child down for the last time. He would be lying if he said his eyes didn’t grow wet, but he once again reminded himself that this was for the better.
This is the Way.
“Take good care of him.” Din said, as he passed Luke out of the doorway. He couldn’t keep the emotion out of his face. Luke looked like he wanted to stop him, but didn’t do anything.
So, Din went back to the Razor Crest. He went back to his only home - alone.
He did what he had to do. So, why does he feel so empty?
-
It didn’t get easier like he thought it would.
Din had hoped that one day he would wake up and feel good about what he did. After all, his mission was complete.
He should be enjoying the silence of the ship. He should be enjoying the extra space in his bunk now that the kid wasn’t crammed into him. He should be enjoying not having to curl against Grogu to keep him safe during shootouts.
But he doesn’t - and he still instinctively shields where the kid should be anyways.
It was getting frustrating.
Din had tried to fill his time with work. It wasn’t easy to find work away from the Guild, and he knew he would have to go back eventually. But Cara would be on Navarro, and he would have to tell her the sad tale of him leaving the kid behind. He wasn’t ready to do that just yet. He wanted to sit in his ship and mull on his wounds.
He also wanted to keep busy.
So, he went to Nevarro. Greef met him at his ship and of course his first question was, “Where’s the little one, huh? You can’t start holding out on me now.”
“He’s home.” Din said. The word was wrong, but he said it anyways. He had to accept this so he could move on.
“Home? Isn’t his home your ship?”
“I found his people.” Din said. “He’s with them now.”
Greef’s face morphed into something like shock. It was hard to tell, since Greef wasn’t exactly a friend and could lie out of his ass, but Din thought he saw some sadness in there, but it could have mirrored his own.
“So, you did it.” Another voice said. It was Cara, who had obviously come to meet him at his ship. “You gave him up. How did that go?”
Cara asked the question as if she already knew the answer.
“I left when he was asleep. He’s probably already forgotten me by now.”
“I don’t know about that.” Greef said. “You did kill an entire fleet of Imps for him.”
“He wasn’t awake for that.” Din said. “He didn’t know.”
Cara and Greef shared a look and Din felt as if he were back at Luke’s temple, watching the child and another person be able to converse in ways he never could.
“Well… what can we do for you?” Cara asked.
“I need work.” Din said. “And I need to get my mind off this kid. What do you have for me?”
Cara’s mouth pressed into a thin line. She didn’t like that answer, but Greef was always happy to collect on a bounty. So, he gave Din a list, and Din took the highest paying one. It was weird to - considering he didn’t exactly have to worry about supporting two people any more, but he figured making money and doing his job would make him feel better.
It didn’t.
When Din returned, the money felt empty in his hands. He stared at it, wishing he could feel a sense of relief, or a sense of accomplishment, but there was nothing there.
“Let me buy you a drink.” Cara told him. “We need to catch up.”
Din obliged, not really sure what else to do. He sat across from her in the very same bar that he had gotten the job that led him to Grogu. It was a bitter memory.
“I can tell even with that helmet on that you feel like shit.” Cara said.
Din looked up at her with widened eyes. Of course, she couldn’t see it, but the smirk on her face told him she knew.
Din sighed. “I’m trying to move on.”
“I know.” Cara said. “And how is that working out for you?”
Din didn’t exactly want to answer. He wanted to pretend he was fine and brush her off just as he had done to Greef, but when he opened his mouth to do just that, everything poured out.
“It’s not. I feel like I’m missing something … someone. It’s a kind of grief, but I know he’s happy. He has to be.”
“You left him when he was asleep. He may not be happy at all.”
“But he belongs there.” Din told her. “There are other kids there and people that can actually talk to him when I …” he trailed off. White hot jealousy stabbed at his stomach.
Of course Cara called him out on it. “You’re jealous.”
“So much so.” Din said. “But they are who is better for him. Not me.”
“It doesn’t have to be so black and white, you know. You can visit him.”
“No, I can’t.” Memories of Ashoka washed up on him. “I met a Jedi before, and she told me he was attached to me and over the years… I found some information on the Jedis. Attachments are dangerous. So me visiting him… allowing this to grow…”
“Ah.” Cara said. “I see.”
“He’s a baby. A child. He’s probably already forgotten about me by now.”
Cara looked down at her drink. She looked forlorn, but didn’t say anything for a moment. After they shared a long silence, she said, “Then I guess I get why you did what you did. But, I do have one piece of advice for you.”
Din sighed. “What?”
“Don’t ignore the time you had with him. A short period of time doesn’t make it any less valuable. I’ve seen what you did for that kid. You cared for him.”
This all felt final - as if a book of his life was closing before he was done reading. It shouldn’t hurt this much, Cara was just trying to tell him he had done a good job, but he didn’t feel like he had. Beyond everything he knew, he just felt like something was wrong.
-
Across the galaxy, Grogu was sleeping.
Well, more like he had passed out from exhaustion again.
“We can’t keep doing this.” A fellow teacher said, his voice hushed. “He refuses to do anything that we ask.”
Luke sighed. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
“What do you mean?” His fellow Jedi asked.
“When the Mando brought the kid.” Din, Grogu had called him. Father, he had yelled later. “He was attached. Too attached. I should have known he wouldn’t want to be here, but the guy was so sure-”
“He was attached to the Mandelorian?”
“Very much so.”
“You wouldn’t think a Mando would…”
“Care?” Luke said. “I agree. But Yoda was so wise and so kind. I saw some of that in Grogu too. I thought … maybe this bond didn’t run that deep, and maybe Grogu was just pitching a fit at change.”
“Luke, he choked a student today - again.”
“He’s more advanced than them.”
“And he’s a toddler.”
“We need the Mando back.” Luke said, sighing. “We need him here to say goodbye - proper one. It was so stupid him to just walk out when he was sleeping.”
“That’s impossible. Mando’s don’t leave a trail. The guy bolted and is probably halfway across the galaxy right now enjoying his bachelor life.”
The thought made Luke sick, but he wouldn’t put it past the Mando. It was obvious how attached Grogu was to his caretaker, but the man himself? He probably didn’t care about anything but himself and his own code.
Just like his own father.
“He’s the only way we get Grogu to cooperate.” Luke begrudgingly admitted. “Maybe we can ask the kid if…”
“You think he’s going to give us anything?”
“I don’t know.” Luke said, and it came out harsh. He was tired. “I don’t know, but at this rate… The kid barely eats. He regularly fights until exhaustion. I don’t know how much longer he can keep this up. He’s the last of his kind and for this to happen…”
“It would be a tragedy.”
Luke sighed. “It would be.”
-
He’s not happy.
Images of Grogu’s face, twisted up in the very few times he wailed. Sounds of the kids screams when something bad was happening filled Din’s mind as he slept. These terrible visions and sounds hadn’t happened often over the last few years, but each time it did, they were jarring enough to be seared into Din’s memory.
He never wanted the kid to feel that way again.
Din jerked awake, his heart racing, and sweat dripped down his brow. His first instinctual thought was to check the kid’s hammock to make sure he was okay, but then he remembered.
The child wasn’t here anymore.
Din let out a shaky sigh that could have been a sob if someone heard it. The images of Grogu would not leave him and it was against his instincts to do nothing.
Maybe he should check on the kid.
As soon as the thought entered his mind, Din was up and heading to the cockpit. His hand was on the hyperdrive, about to spur it in action to go towards the planet Grogu was on.
He then paused.
Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he was jumping into action far too soon and it was just a bad dream.
Din glanced over at the one lever that Grogu had always been obsessed with. The screw-on handle of it had always been the kid’s favorite toy. Now, the ball was screwed on properly and hadn’t been messed with since.
Din sighed. What was he doing? How selfish would it be for him to go and ruin the kid’s progress?
But something was wrong. He at least wanted to see if Grogu had adjusted. He didn’t want to say anything or make himself known, but his own two eyes needed to know that Grogu had adjusted to his new home.
“He won’t see me.” Din said. “I’ll stay in the shadows.”
It was a stupid plan. He wanted to berate himself for it until he dropped it, but it was the lever that spurred him forward. He couldn’t just sit there after that dream and refuse to do anything.
So, he jumped into hyperspace, and towards his kid.
-
The planet was the same - lush, beautiful.
Perfect to raise a child in.
Din sighed. He once again asked himself what the hell he was thinking, but still trudged forward. He had landed far away so no one would notice his arrival, and he used his jetpack to get to the temple in good time. He landed behind a wall, in a field. There were sounds of kids talking and a teacher loudly lecturing them. It probably was where Grogu was being trained.
Din prepared himself to see his child happy. He prepared himself for the pain that would come with the confirmation that the kid was just fine without him.
That was not what happened.
“Grogu, no!” The teacher’s voice yelled. Din turned to peek at the scene quickly.
Grogu’s eyes were shut in concentration. His form was smaller that Din liked to see, indicating that perhaps the child wasn’t eating. He also saw dark circles, which meant the kid had been straining himself.
It was sobering to see his child but even more so that he was obviously suffering. Grogu didn’t act out - or at least he hadn’t when Din was in charge of them. Judging by the other kid’s face, he was not wanting to be choked out, so Din could rule out that this was a training exercise of sorts.
Din could remember the few times when Grogu did use his strange abilities, and it was either when they were in grave danger, or in retaliation for something. In most of those times, it was Din who was the only one who could stop him.
He acted on autopilot, and ran to the child. His breath came out ragged because he knew that Grogu wouldn’t stop for anyone else.
“Adi’ka, stop!”
A few things happened to then. The other student, who grogu had been holding fell to the ground. Grogu turned and looked at him with wide, scared eyes, and the teacher stepped in front of Din, almost as if to shield the child away from Din. That resulted in Grogu throwing the teacher, who landed roughly on the ground.
All of the action had definitely tired the kid out, but through sleepy eyes, he ran to Din with his arms raised, as if they hadn’t been separated for an extended time.
Din, still on autopilot, picked up the kid and tucked him into his side as he had done thousands of times before.
“Wait, you’re the Mandelorian?” The teacher asked. “The one that brought him?”
“Yes.” Din said. “What is going on here?”
His voice came out harder than it needed to and Grogu’s ears dropped down. Din felt terrible for startling the kid so soon after a reunion, but he was dealing with the fact that Grogu was obviously not as happy as Din had fooled himself into believing.
“What’s going on is that you left a child here who has an attachment to you, and he’s been lashing out!” The teacher said.
Din looked at Grogu, who looked down at the ground. “Is this true?” Din asked him.
Din felt like a parent being called to the principal’s office about his child. Grogu definitely felt guilty for what he had done, but Din somehow felt worse.
“Kid…” Din said. “This is what’s best for you.”
The teacher huffed. “He exhausts himself daily and refuses to eat! If you hadn't come, he would have killed himself!”
Din exhaled sharply and looked at the teacher. Underneath his helmet, he felt tears prick his eyes at the teacher’s roughness, but it was needed. Now that his head was clearing, and Grogu wasn’t hurting anyone, he did notice the child was lighter than he had been. He didn’t look as rounded, as rested as he had when with Din.
“Why are you doing this?” Din asked Grogu softly. “You belong here. It’s safer for you.”
Grogu whimpered, but Din had no idea what he meant.
“He says he missed you.” Another voice - Luke, Din remembered, said.
Din bit back the jealousy he had that someone else could communicate with his kid.
“Come. We need to discuss this in private.” Luke said, waving Din over.
Din followed stiffly. Grogu held onto him as if he were going to disappear at any moment. It was obvious that the little one was tired, and he dozed off once while Din carried him, but soon after, he jerked awake, as if looking for the man. He only calmed down when a hand was on his armor.
Luke took him to the other side of the temple. It was still outside in the fresh air but no one was around. The man sat on the ground, and Din did as well. He had a feeling this wasn’t going to be a fun conversation.
“We can’t train him.” Luke said.
Din remembered what Ashoka had said and he was taken back to the moment when she had said the very same thing.
“Why?” Din said.
Luke sighed. “His attachment to you. I can’t train someone who doesn’t want to learn.”
“My life is no good for him. We just spent the last years running around the galaxy and always in danger. He’s safer here.”
Luke glanced at Grogu, before saying, “He doesn’t agree with you.”
“Ugh.” Din couldn’t help it. He didn’t like having to filter a conversation through someone else. A Jedi of all people.
Grogu made an angry noise at him.
“You can’t get mad at a kid for having opinions.” Luke said, looking a little offended at Din’s tone.
“I’m not offended that he has opinions. Obviously I know that. He has plenty on what kind of broth I feed him.” Underneath his helmet, Din rolled his eyes. “But you can obviously communicate with him. You can understand him in ways I will never be able to. He belongs here.”
Luke’s eyes widened in understanding. “Ah, I see.”
Grogu made another angry noise, this time directed at Luke.
“Well, he’s not wrong.” Luke said to the kid. “As users of the force, we can connect better than your friend here can.”
Din sighed. “This is why you have to be here and not anywhere else.”
Grogu turned, his eyes narrowed but then he turned back to Luke obviously communicating something.
Luke’s eyebrows pulled down on his forehead. “What?”
Grogu continued, his head tilting back and forth as he communicated. Din tried and failed not to let his bitterness rise.
“He says he has a way to communicate with you.” Luke said, his eyes flicked back up to Din. “Do you know anything of this?”
“Do you not think I would have done it by now?” Din said, impatiently.
Luke sighed but his attention was brought back to Grogu, who was obviously trying to tell him something.
“The Imperials… did what? Kid, I’m not going to agree to-”
“What is he telling you?” Din asked, his voice rough with jealousy.
“He’s telling me about his time while he was captured by the Imperials.”
Din’s blood ran cold. He remembered both times. One was his own fault, and the other was the result of his failures to understand his child’s mysterious powers. Both were proof that Din could not raise him.
“He says… he was subjected to tests - to make someone else … be force sensitive. Raise their M-levels...”
“I have no clue what that means.” Din said.
Luke looked at him as if he were going to deliver the worst news of Din’s life.
“They took his blood to make others be able to connect with the force - in an attempt to recreate my f…. Darth Vader.”
Din thought he was going to be sick. “E-Excuse me? Kid, why would you be telling-”
“He wants to try it with you.” Luke said, not meeting Din’s eyes.
Din put the kid in the ground, which resulted in a loud screech.
“No, no.” Din said to Grogu. “I am not… no.”
“He’s a Mandelorian, kid. He’s not gonna want to do anything with the force.” Luke said to Grogu.
“It’s not that.” Din said, and it was true. He would do anything for the kid. He turned back to Grogu. “But I’ve witnessed first hand how much you hate needles. I’ve been how much you hate being anywhere near a doctor. I’m not … putting you through more tests in an attempt for us to be able to communicate. I’ll just chat through the Jedi.”
Grogu’s ears dropped, but Din was too busy pacing the floors. He couldn’t just … take the kid’s blood to try and talk to him. He couldn’t do it.
“The master I once knew… Yoda.” Luke said. “He could speak … somewhat. His grammar was off, though. He couldn’t keep words in the right order. I think speech is very hard for their species. If he does learn to talk it may be… after you are no longer with him.”
“You mean after I’m dead.” Din said. He wasn’t an idiot - he knew the kid was going to outlive him by hundreds of years.
Maybe Grogu hadn’t made that connection though.
The child screamed, running over to pound on Din’s legs in anger. Din was taken aback, unsure of what the child wanted.
“Grogu, he said no to the idea.” Luke told him.
Din backed away. “I’m not doing it, kid. You’re better off here. If you could just-”
As he stepped away, Din was hit with an impenetrable force behind him that caused him to fall. When he angrily looked to the kid, Grogu had fallen over with exhaustion.
“Why don’t you stay?” Luke said, with urgency. “I think you leaving is a bad idea. We have plenty of rooms here.”
Grogu looked at him with pleading eyes.
“Fine. I’ll stay until the kid’s stubbornness subsides.”
Luke didn’t look so sure about that, but Din picked up Grogu anyways, determined for this to be just a temporary solution.
-
They had separate rooms.
Din preferred that. It was going to make it harder for when he did eventually have to leave. Grogu, as he expected, hated it. But the child needed to keep his normal routine. He needed to get used to his spacious room, and not be wanting the ship that Din had.
In the privacy of his own room, Din fell against the bed roughly. He ached to take his helmet and armor off, but he didn’t trust where he was. So he was bound to uncomfortable nights for as long as he stayed in the Temple.
Din didn’t know why this had to be so hard. This life he had left for Grogu was perfect. He could have friends, training and a stable world to call home. It was nothing like the ship and nomadic lifestyle they lived, and that was a good thing.
He hadn’t expected to return and see Grogu so miserable. He could tell that even with their frustration, his new teachers were worried. Din had to hold Grogu through an entire meal in order to get the kid to eat, and even what he did eat was small.
What was he going to do? Din couldn’t stay here - he didn’t belong. But he certainly wasn’t going to put Grogu through torture again just to maybe be able to have them communicate.
Scratching at the door brought Din out of his thoughts. He immediately knew who it was - Grogu wanted to join him. Din closed his eyes and debated ignoring it, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to. It was taking every ounce of his willpower to not take the kid and run, so he couldn’t do it all.
Din opened the door, and Grogu rushed in, wrapping his tiny arms around Din’s legs. Din picked him up and nestled him into the crook of his arm before placing him on the bed.
“You need sleep. You look terrible.”
Grogu didn’t answer.
“And we’re not talking about what you asked Luke, you understand?” Din said.
Grogu’s ears dropped and Din sighed.
“I don’t want you to be hurt.” Din told him softly, sitting next to him on the bed. Grogu looked up with his huge eyes. “I’m not putting you at risk for anything.”
Grogu looked at Din’s face, or at least where his face should be. While Grogu probably knew why he wore the mask, all of their deep conversations were reserved for mask off affairs, when they were just father and son. Grogu was definitely sad that the mask was still on.
Technically, they were no longer father and son, not by Creed. Din had fulfilled his duty by bringing Grogu back to reunite him with the closest thing to his people. The mask should stay on.
But Din always had issues keeping the mask on when it came to Grogu. He had already broken his rules once, when Grogu was younger and in the hands of Gideon.
He would do it again.
With another sigh, Din lifted the helmet. Cool air rushed to meet his face, and he wondered if Grogu would recognize the own exhaustion he held. Grogu watched him with his huge eyes as he did so. Din rubbed his face.
“Is this what you wanted?” Din asked Grogu, who only made a noise in response. Din wasn’t sure what else to say - he had made his points, but after a long moment of silence, Grogu climbed up into Din’s lap, putting his tiny hands on Din’s face.
The man’s heart lurched. Some of his favorite times in the world were when he was sharing space with Grogu. They had been together for so long that just one touch was almost enough to fix everything.
“I know what you want.” Din said. “But I can’t. And you know why.”
Grogu expressed his displeasure by patting Din on the face angrily.
“And it’s not the Jedi thing like Luke thought.” Din continued. “I wouldn’t mind… they’re not an enemy of me. They’re your people, but …” Din sighed. “I can’t… I don’t know if I can stay… with you. Putting you through that is just not worth it.”
Grogu grunted and patted his cheeks again.
“Grogu, this is one of your worst fears. The last time I tried to give you a simple vaccination you shot me across the room!”
Grogu’s ears dropped. Din knew it was a sore spot.
“It hurts you and I’m not worth that.” Din said, softly. He touched Grogu’s ears. “I’m really not.”
Grogu made a soft sound, the one that was reserved only for when he really needed something. Din felt his resolve breaking.
“Fine.” he said. “Fine. I’ll do it, but you can’t shoot someone across the room.”
Grogu giggled, which was as close to an agreement as Din was going to get. The thought made him sick, but if this meant Grogu and Din could communicate in at least some way - then he would take any chance he could if Grogu was also on board.
Grogu nuzzled his soft face into Din’s. It was one of the ways he could show just how much he cared. Din felt like a fraud considering he had snuck out, but the warmth bloomed into his chest as he held the tiny child.
Din also wasn’t an idiot. Grogu was staying all night. Near the end, when they had been through so much together, it was a rare night when Grogu didn’t climb into Din’s cot. He was not going to get Grogu out of his room tonight.
But Din also needed sleep. He hadn’t slept very well without his kid around, and he was beyond exhausted, but had some semblance of peace since Grogu was so near. He laid back, taking the clingy child with him, who squealed in delight. Din couldn’t help but let the smile blossom on his face.
“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep either.”
The child crawled to nestle on Din’s chest, just as he had many nights before, and Din wanted to stay awake and simply bask in his possible last night with Grogu. But he couldn’t - he was far too tired. He was out within minutes.
-
Grogu was still snoring when Din woke up, which was surprising, because Din had slept far too long - he could feel it in his joints. Grogu’s face pressed into Din’s undershirt. The man really didn’t want to disturb his child, but he knew he needed to go tell someone that he was willing to move forward with Grogu’s plan.
The child was entirely unwilling to let him go, which wound up taking ten minutes to get off of the bed with him. Grogu stayed asleep, but Din knew it wouldn’t be long until the kid was awake.
Din made quick work of getting dressed, something he perfected in the years he had been Grogu’s caregiver. By the time he was done, Grogu was already fussing in his sleep, obviously noticing Din’s absence.
“I’m here, ad’ika.” Din said softly, brushing a gloved hand over Grogu’s forehead. “I’m here.”
Grogu’s ears perked up at the sound of Din’s voice, and the child made the motion to be carried. Din sighed and picked him up, putting him in the crook of his arm.
“If you change your mind.” Din told him. “You let someone know immediately. I’m also pulling the plug if you use your powers on someone while there.”
Grogu made an unpleasant noise, but Din was pretty sure the child understood.
Din found Luke while he was in the middle of teaching kids who were developmentally probably at the same level as the child. Din watched in awe, wondering just why Grogu wasn’t enamored with this new life of his.
The kids were obviously wary of him - some even frowned at the child, and Din wondered if they got along. It would be strange if they didn’t, considering how well Grogu always got along with other kids.
When Din told him Grogu had convinced him, the other man looked shocked. Din held his ground as Luke questioned him, before he asked the child if this was truly what he wanted. They had another infuriating silent conversation that Din was left out of, but then Luke relented.
“Okay. Fine.” Luke said. “We’ll do it.”
Luke dismissed his class and got a mini lab together for Grogu and Din.
Din could tell Grogu was getting nervous by the way he gripped his carer’s armor, and it was almost enough to make him call it off, but he knew the kid would be pissed if he did that. So, he kept his mouth shut.
Din watched all of them closely, just to make sure they didn’t do anything untoward. He hadn’t gotten any bad feelings towards those in the Temple, but he didn’t trust anyone when it came to the kid.
They could think it easy to take a little extra blood and stash it for a rainy day. Or maybe they could take too much and try to weaken the kid, so Din watched them enter the tiny syringe and tried not to get sick.
He whispered soft reassurances to Grogu who kept his brown eyes on Din the entire time. Din wondered if he maybe should take off the helmet, because he felt like the kid needed direct eye contact, but Grogu, ever the selfless he had become in the last few years, made a sad sound when he tried to.
All in all, it didn’t take long and Grogu kept to what was expected of him. Once it was over, and the kid was patched up, he curled into Din, who knew it was his turn.
Din didn’t know why he expected the injection to make his veins burn, but he half expected to explode as they gave him the tiny bit of the child’s blood. Nothing happened, and it felt like a tiny vaccination - nothing difficult at all.
“I don’t feel any different.” Din said.
Grogu’s ears went down, but Luke said, “It may take a while. Plus you’ll have to hone in on it. If this works… you’ll have to know how to connect with the Force.”
Half of that sounded like nothing to him, but he said. “Sure. I’ll connect with the forceps.”
Luke shook his head at the term the Mandalorian had used, and Din laughed quietly under his helmet. Grogu chuckled as well.
“You rest. We’ll start training tomorrow.”
“On the kid?” Din asked.
“No.” Luke said. “You. And maybe the kid, if he wants to.”
It was possible that Grogu would be more pliable with Din there, but he was also glad for the instruction to rest. The nervousness at seeing his child go through an, albeit, small medical procedure had worn down on him, and he had lost enough sleep in the last week that one night wasn’t going to make up for it.
Din went back to his ship with Grogu following him closely. He did some maintenance before the kid demanded the ball from his favorite lever, and then they played catch in Grogu’s own special way.
Din wanted to do more than hold the ball. After all, this was what the entire procedure was for, was for him to become force sensitive, or whatever it was called, but he felt the same.
And he really didn’t want to have to go through all of that for nothing.
They wound up sleeping on the ship. Din wanted to go sleep in a bed instead of the hard metal of the Razor Crest, but Grogu insisted and he knew better than to go against Grogu’s wishes. So, they slept in the tiny bunk, as they had for many many nights.
Din hoped that when he woke up, he would somehow be able to understand the child.
That didn’t happen.
-
“Meditation!” Luke said, his voice booming.
“You’re trying to make this more interesting than it is.” Din said, dryly.
They were getting a private lesson. Grogu sat near him but was compliant in what the Jedi wanted him to do. Din knew it was only because he too had to follow orders.
Din didn’t have high hopes about this. He really didn’t think that he was going to be able to master whatever it was that Luke hoped he could. He was more of a guns guy, not a Jedi.
Luke went through the rules of meditation. Din knew this was going to bore him out of his mind. The kid was a pro though, which sort of made Din a little proud.
He wasn’t going to half ass though. Just because he wasn’t sure this was going to work didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.
Din followed his instructions to the T, but nothing happened. He simply sat there while Luke watched him.
“This isn’t doing anything.” Din said, his voice tense. He hated failing.
“It takes time. It took me a long time. Grogu too.”
Din looked at the kid and then back to Luke. “You two been chatting without me?”
Luke sighed, obviously detecting the malice in Din’s voice.
“I have to get to class.” Luke said. “We will reconvene tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” Din said. “I can’t stay here forever!”
Luke gave Din a look of annoyance and then left the room. Din looked over at Grogu, who’s ears were down.
“What?”
Grogu made a sad noise. Din internally went through everything he had said, and sighed.
“You know I can’t stay here, kid.”
Grogu reached out for him. Din sighed. He knew where this was going.
“We’ll talk about this later.” Din said, but picked him up anyways.
Din wasn’t used to having free time. He didn’t like to relax, because usually, when he did relax, something terrible happened. He walked back to his ship and looked for something to work on, but, for once, the ship was in decent shape.
He sighed, wishing he could take the kid and bail. He wished that he wasn’t stuck on this stupid planet trying something that will inevitably lead to his and Grogu’s separation.
Separation. That was right - this was only temporary.
It was then that the helmet was too hot, and his face felt like it was going to catch fire. This didn’t happen usually, but the added pressure of raising a child over the last few years had caused him to boil over a few times.
Din ripped the helmet off, and closed the ship. Grogu immediately stopped what he was doing - knowing exactly what was happening.
Din’s breaths came out ragged. He braced himself on the metal wall of his ship and tried to take deep breaths, but it didn’t work. He was tense and angry and he was losing his child.
A faint touch to his leg brought him out of it. Grogu had waddled up to him, and knew exactly where to touch so that Din would feel it.
Din had been careful to not show emotion when bringing the kid back. From the scattered parental advice he had been given, he had been instructed to be calm in the wake of this separation. When he told Grogu what was going to happen, he was calm about it. He reasoned with Grogu, and told him it was for the best.
This was not like that.
Din slid to the floor, tears streaming down his face. His breath came out in a choked hiccup which was almost painful to him. Grogu climbed in his lap, touching his face, his chest - anything to try to help, but he was far gone.
He curled around Grogu, holding the tiny body to his chest like he was going to float away. By the time he completed his training, maybe he would. Din wasn’t going to be there for that. He wasn’t going to be there for anything, because he wasn’t what was right for the kid.
Grogu let him trap him for a long time, up until Din’s grief faded and his sobs had quieted. It was out of character for the child to hold such patience, but he felt a loving, comforting feeling from it.
It was almost as if the child had comforted him with his mind. The feelings he felt matched what the child’s expression showed him.
Wait.
“Are you … doing that?” Din asked.
Grogu’s ears went straight up. He giggled.
“Are you trying to comfort me?” Din asked, suddenly urgent.
Grogu reached out to touch Din again and he felt a new emotion. Elation. Love. Comfort.
Underneath it all - anger. Fear. Distrust.
“That was what Ashoka was talking about.” Din said, softly. He didn’t have time to reel in shock of the new development, because finally he could understand something his child was saying to him.
Grogu’s ears dropped. Din wished he could take it all away, but he couldn’t. He could only feel it. His mind whirled to try to figure something out to make Grogu feel better, but the child instead curled into his chest, and fell asleep.
It was then that Din felt the exhaustion. How did this kid do this? It was no wonder he passed out. Din leaned back against the wall. This was a terrible place to sleep, but he knew he wasn’t going to stay awake very much longer, so he drifted off to sleep, and decided to deal with the neck cramp whenever he woke up.
-
The neck cramp wasn’t that bad - all things considering.
Grogu was awake before him, and Din wondered if maybe since he was new to all of this that he would be more tired than Grogu.
It was evening, and Din groaned.
“My schedule’s all messed up.” He said. “I’ll never sleep later.”
Din was used to this, because he had been in space for most of his life but it still sucked each time it happened. He rubbed his face, and his stomach rumbled for some food. Grogu looked at him and pointed to the Temple.
“Oh, so you’ll go there for food and nothing else?”
The child giggled. Din replaced his helmet and picked Grogu up, making the trek to the temple. As they went, Grogu’s mood seemed to sour, and Din wished he had brought enough supplies that they could simply eat on the ship.
The Mess Hall was filled with people. Luke was good at recruiting new members for his training. There were tons of kids, all different ages that were being trained. Din could see how this would be a utopia for the kid, if only he liked it.
They got a plate of food for each of them, which was a basic mush. Din retreated to his quarters to eat, and Grogu silently followed. Din knew the kid wanted to be picked up, but there was no way he could carry all the food and the kid.
After dinner, Din returned to the Mess Hall and Grogu followed. Din could see the kids turning to look at them, and he didn’t blame them for doing so. It was probably weird to see a Mandelorian, an ancient enemy of the Jedi and whatever the hell the kid was, together.
One kid’s face was particularly upset. His face was screwed in a sneer, and Din wondered if he and Grogu had issues. A flare of protectiveness flared at that.
Grogu was curled into Din’s arm. One of his hands reached up to touch the area where Din’s undershirt ended and his neck began, and the contact almost made him jump.
It was obvious Grogu had something to say.
This time it was more intense. Din saw flashes of memories. The dark haired kid taunted Grogu for his size, his training and how Grogu had thrown a wrench in the normal workings of the temple. Most of all, he felt Grogu’s anger at having been left behind, his hatred for the way Luke was teaching him, and the desire not to give everything up, but to find a new path, one where he could be trained but also be with Din.
Din jerked away, feeling a rush of emotions hit him all at once. Finally, Finally the kid had shown him what he had been trying to say. He wanted to articulate a response, He wanted to express his sorrow for leaving the child, his anger at the kid who was bullying him, but the wave of exhaustion hit him in that moment.
“You okay?” Luke said. Din hadn’t even noticed he was in the Mess Hall with them.
“I’m - I think-”
Luke’s eyes widened in alarm, and that was the moment that Din passed out.
-
His helmet was off when Din awoke.
“Ah!” He cried out, looking for it. Had the Jedi done this? Did they see his face?
A croon to his right made him look over. Grogu was the only one in his quarters, and he reached out to touch Din’s face. Images of himself falling, Grogu being caught by Luke, who took him back to his room, helmet on, filled his mind. From Grogu’s point of view, Din saw his own helmet come off by Grogu’s hand, only in the room alone. His face had been flustered and warm. It was definitely for the best that he got some air.
Din jerked away, feeling a headache form and exhaustion grip him again.
“Kid, I am happy to be able to communicate with you, but I think if you do that again my brain might melt.”
Grogu’s ears dropped, but he didn’t move to communicate again. He only curled tighter into Din’s side.
“I didn’t know you didn’t like their teachings.” Din said softly. He tried to remember what Grogu had shown him before he passed out. “Do they really want all of these kids to be away from family?”
Grogu solemnly nodded.
Din sighed. “Seems dumb. But … they are the only Jedi left, really. Maybe there’s some merit to listening.”
Grogu reached his hand out, already asking for permission to explain.
Din sighed. “Go ahead. But if you make me pass out again, I will make you eat ration bars.”
Grogu giggled, knowing the threat was empty. He reached his hand out again.
This memory was shorter, but clearer. It made Din’s headache, but he pushed through.
“Of course there’s other Jedi’s.” Luke was saying to Grogu, in a rare time of peace while Grogu had been in here. “But they don’t want to create a new Order. They go against the ancient teachings and-”
Din’s head felt like it was going to split open and he pulled away. Grogu jerked away as well.
“Okay, that’s all I can handle.” Din said. “But I get it. You want both. Someone who can train you … but not take you away from…”
Grogu pointed.
“Me.” Din finished.
Din sighed in response. “I don’t think it’s a good idea to go hunting. But from what you’ve shown me… living here isn’t an option either. Those kids don’t like you, do they?”
Grogu made a sound that was close to a sigh.
“You got along with kids great before.” Din said. “What are they - jealous?”
Grogu nodded.
“Really.” Din said and then he sighed. “Well, we can’t have that.”
There was a moment of longstanding silence, and then Din said, “You think Luke would make an exception for you?”
-
“I need to talk to you.” Din said.
“I can’t undo it.” Luke said, his hands raised. “What’s done is done, and you agreed to his plan, I-”
“I’m not talking about that.”
“Oh.” Luke said, his hands going down. “I thought after you passed out last night, you would maybe … have regrets.”
“No. Listen, I spoke to the kid-”
“You spoke to him?” Luke asked, incredulous.
“Not with words. But the image thing he does-”
“It worked?” Luke said. “But I can’t… Well, it was such a small amount.”
“I don’t know how it works on my side. I can’t… tell him much. But I can hear what he is saying and that’s what I wanted. Listen-”
“Wow, this changes everything! To be able to create someone who is can wield the Force-””
“I know this is a big deal for you, but I need to talk to you about the kid.”
Luke struggled to get his excitement reigned in, but he said, “Okay, what do you want to talk about?”
“He hates it here.” Din said.
“What’s wrong with it here?”
“He’s being bullied by other kids.”
“What?” Luke said. “I … He never told me.”
“He showed me that they’re jealous of him.”
“I can talk to them, then.”
“I think he needs to go with me.”
Luke blinked, shocked. “What? But, he needs training. He can’t just … it’s dangerous for him to have these powers if he can’t use them.”
“I’m not saying he doesn’t get trained, but maybe a … more flexible schedule.”
“So, what we split responsibility?”
“A compromise might be the bet option.” Din said, nodding. “He doesn’t want to not get trained, but he doesn’t want to lose… whatever it was he had with me either.”
“That’s not the Jedi way.”
Din sighed. “Then, maybe the Jedi way won’t work for him. He’s not going to do what you say.”
“We can’t just … change how things have been. We have to preserve the legacy of the last Order!”
“You can do that with your kids here, but maybe not this one.”
Luke didn’t look happy about that. “Then, I don’t know if I can train him.”
Din nodded. “Okay. I understand. I met a Jedi once out there. I can find another.”
“You met another Jedi?” Luke asked. “There’s … more?”
“A woman named Ashoka. She said he couldn’t teach him because of his attachment to me.”
“Where did you find her?”
“It was years ago.” Din said. “She’s not there anymore.”
Luke looked conflicted, and he wondered if he even knew there could be more Jedi. Din allowed him to have a moment before he cleared his throat.
“So, I think I’ll go.”
Luke nodded. “I’ll be sad to see him go, and if he ever changes his mind - you know where to find me.”
Din nodded. “I do. I’ll keep you updated.”
Din strode out of the room, feeling both lighter, and conflicted. He knew this was what Grogu wanted, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t want it too, but he also didn’t want to never find another Jedi and have the kid be doomed to losing his amazing abilities.
Maybe more time would allow Grogu to change his mind… or maybe - he never would. Maybe they would find someone else to train him.
“Pack up, kid.” Din said. “You’re coming with me.”
Grogu gurgled happily, lurching forward to express his happiness through feeling as well. Din smiled at the tiny hand on his neck, just at the edge of his helmet, and picked his kid up.
It was time to go home.
-
It took Din about ten years to realize something was up.
He knew the kid was going to age slowly. He had assumed that his own life would be a blip in the child’s, and then Grogu would return to Luke and commence his training.
But, Luke’s temple went up in some huge explosion a few years later and then man went into hiding, and Din could only thank his lucky stars Grogu wasn’t there for that.
Plus, there was the fact that the procedure he had done had considerably slowed his aging.
Din was 80 years old, but still looked 45. It wasn’t a permanent solution, because he still found gray hairs and felt his joints lock up, but this was not normal.
It had been a blessing and a curse. His few allies had already retired by now, and some had passed due to old age. Of course, they had never seen his face still, so they had no clue how he kept up with Grogu.
The kid had finally reached childhood. He had grown up to Din’s hip, and was able to manage some forms of speech, but his grammar was all off. Often he got his sentences backwards, which led to many issues when he was talking to new people.
Grogu had told him his father - the great Master Yoda, had done the same thing, so it was obviously a thing that his species did. Din didn’t mind. He could understand the kid just fine.
He would never cease to be grateful for the extra time he had, but deep down, he knew Grogu was going to outlive him. The kid did, too.
They were sitting in a bar. Many people looked at Grogu with concern, wondering what a child was doing there, but Grogu was good in bars. Now that he had grown and could talk, he always told people the same thing.
“Seen everything, I have.” Grogu said.
Din would always laugh, because it was true. He felt a little guilty at just how violent Grogu’s childhood had been, but he had handled it with grace. It was definitely much preferable to the explosion he could have been in.
“Terrible, this drink is.” Grogu said, scrunching his face.
“Then, why are you still drinking it?”
“Draw a crowd, you do.” Grogu mumbled. “Normal must be one of us.”
“You know, when I die, you inherit this suit of armor. So then neither of us are normal.”
Grogu glared. He hated talking about Din’s eventual death, but Din had been considering it.
“The ship too.”
Grogu, obviously not wanting to talk anymore, reached over to his neck. Flashes of Din rejecting Grogu’s wants to fly the ship went through his mind.
“Hey, none of that. You’re still too impulsive to fly the Razor Crest.”
Grogu sent another image of just the previous day of Din doing barrel rolls because Grogu was annoying him.
“I may be impulsive, but I have the skill to back it up.”
The kid rolled his eyes.
“You know, we can’t avoid this forever though. Yoda lived for a millenia.”
Grogu sighed. He sent another image, one of his master, who had trained him in the ways of the Force many years ago before they parted ways.
“The only way to avoid the dark side is to accept the bad with the good. If you’re scared of things, even death, you are vulnerable.”
The Jedi had been quiet about his name, but he was wise beyond his years. Gray Jedi’s were annoyingly secretive and yet they gave the best advice.
“To lose you, scared I am not.” Grogu said.
Din was quiet and for a moment, only the sounds of the bar echoed between them.
“Why didn’t you show me this before?”
“Forgot.” Grogu said, shrugging.
“You’re a mess.” Din said.
“Your child, I am.”
Din rolled his eyes under his helmet, but then he felt Grogu’s mood change from content, to concerned.
There was a gun pointed to his head.
“Give it up, Mando. I know you’re following me.” A third, rough voice.
Din glanced at his child.
“Shall we?” He asked.
Grogu laughed, before his cup was thrown at the man’s head and he was out cold.
“That was too easy.” Din said, laughing.
“Easier it is, when you have me.”
Din couldn’t agree more.
He didn’t know his future, or how long he would have, but he did know that he would take Cara’s advice and enjoy every moment.