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Jane woke up to an unfamiliar book sitting on her nightstand. It was the fifth morning in a row this had happened.
Today’s selection was a golden age mystery by Dorothy L. Sayers. Jane didn’t know how her mysterious book lender found out about her secret obsession with mystery novels, but after the first edition Ellery Queen yesterday, this was starting to get a bit concerning.
And a little awesome. But mostly concerning.
“Who keeps leaving these here?” Jane asked, dropping the book on the coffee table. “It had better not be you, Darcy.”
“Why would I sneak books into your room?” Darcy asked over a bowl of cheerios. “I have better things to spend my money on.”
“Well, someone is getting in here every night and not tripping the alarm.”
“Oh, that’s probably Loki,” Darcy said. “You know how he is.”
“Yeah, and I wish I didn’t,” Jane muttered.
It did make sense when she thought about it. The only way someone could get in here without alerting FRIDAY would be if they could teleport. Dr. Strange could do that, but Jane barely knew him and he’d have no reason to care about her reading habits anyway. That left Loki as the only possible culprit. Which begged the question of why.
When Jane voiced this aloud, Darcy rolled her eyes. “He’s doing it for the same reason he always sits next to you at parties and argues with you about your research.”
“Well, obviously he’s trying to annoy me,” Jane said, flipping through the Sayers book. It was one she’d been looking for for a while. “Guess I’d better go talk to him.”
She double-locked the door as she left, even though it wouldn’t do any good. It was the principle of the thing. As she walked to the elevators, Darcy rubbed her temples and sighed.
“Jane Foster: the most brilliant dumbass in the world.”
**
The top two floors of Avengers tower had been unofficially claimed by Asgard. Warriors and mages of every stripe could be found lounging and loitering on any given day. Sometimes Sif commandeered an entire training room to run drills with the new recruits. Other times Fandral would host a raucous party on the roof where human-killing Asgardian mead flowed free.
Still, Jane was shocked when she got off the elevator and found Heimdall of all people reclining with a thick paperback book as classical music played from an ipad.
“I thought you were the gatekeeper,” Jane said.
“I have vacation days,” he replied.
Jane thought about asking but then decided not to. “Have you seen Loki?”
Heimdall jabbed a thumb to the left. “He’s in his room.”
‘Loki’s room’ was a guest room he took one night six months ago and then just never left. Now anyone who tried to get in without Loki’s permission risked being transported onto a busy city street sans clothes. Tony had tried every which way to get him out of there, but every attempt failed once Loki convinced the UN that, as a foreign prince, he was entitled to diplomatic immunity. Now Tony made do by having FRIDAY play Alvin and the Chipmunks over Loki’s speakers randomly in the middle of the night.
Jane walked to Loki’s door without breaking stride. It was easy to guess which one was his, what with the shimmering layer of magic draped over it.
“Loki,” Jane said, rapping on the door. Her knuckles tingled as she pushed past the invisible barrier. “Loki, I know you’re in there. Open up.”
She kept knocking until a low, monotone voice answered. “It’s unlocked.”
Jane tried the knob. Sure enough, it gave way. The door swung open and Jane stepped into the palatial suite Loki had made out of his thirteen by twenty five foot room. Luckily, he was on the couch, not the bed or the jacuzzi or something sleazy like that.
“Why do you keep leaving books in my apartment?” she asked.
Loki frowned. “Good morning, Jane. Lovely to see you, too.”
“Loki…”
“Do you not like them?” he asked, crossing one leg over the other. “I picked them out especially for you. They don’t come cheap, you know.”
“It’s not about whether I like them or not,” Jane said. “You can’t just waltz into my apartment uninvited. That’s called breaking and entering.”
“I do not linger if that’s what you mean,” Loki replied. “I leave my gift for you and then I take my leave. If you would prefer me to stay-”
“That is the exact opposite of what I just said,” Jane snapped. His grin made her want to punch things. “If you want to give me a gift, wait until Christmas.”
“But, my dear, it’s so far away.”
“It’s literally next week.”
“You expect me to wait that long to shower you with affection?” He brought a hand to his mouth. “For shame, my dear. I may have to skip a night.”
“Please do,” Jane said, turning on a heel and walking out. “I have enough to read with what you’ve already given me.”
“So you’re keeping them?”
“Never said I wasn’t.”
As she headed back to the elevator, she didn’t expect him to follow her. Yet he was waiting in the lobby before she even turned the corner.
“You know,” he purred, standing conveniently in the way of the buttons. “You haven’t told me yet what you’re getting me.”
“How about a bookcase for all the books you apparently have?”
Loki grinned. “I believe you need that more than I do.”
“Yeah, thanks a lot,” Jane said.
As luck would have it, an elevator arrived at that very moment, admitting Volstagg with several bags of chips, hot dogs, and ice cream. He greeted Loki and Jane with his usual joviality before hoofing it to the kitchen. Jane slid through the doors before they closed and punched in her number.
“Aren’t you going to stay and hear my answer?” Loki asked.
“Answer to what?”
“Your question,” he said. “Why am I doing this?”
Jane snorted. “Knowing you, you won’t give me a straight answer anyway. If you have to send me stuff, just do it through the mail like normal people.”
With that, the doors closed and she was gone. Of course, Loki could be at her door long before the elevator even reached her floor, but where was the fun in that? Especially since he had seven more gifts to plan and at least a dozen bookstores in the area to scour for more.
Heimdall, who couldn’t technically read minds but came fairly close, shot Loki a look. “It would be easier to just confess your feelings, Prince.”
“It would be, wouldn’t it?” Loki mumbled, and it pained him to admit he couldn’t even look at the man.
Tomorrow he’d give her a Christie. That was a good plan.