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My eyelids fly open, so unlike my usual morning muzziness. The gray morning light filtering into my room feels different today, the air crisper somehow. I feel a little tug of excitement, but under the covers is nice and warm, and I give a little wriggle. Content.
Sitting up in the King’s bed, my bed—which feels less empty after the last few months, but still too big for my kid body—I yawn softly then slip bare feet onto the rich rug to stand. From the wardrobe, I pick out a regal but warm outfit, and pull on my boots. Anticipation.
The crown still feels cold in my fingers as I slip it over my hair. But I barely pay the metallic formality any mind. It’s a new season. Everyone has responsibilities. Everyone can also have fun!
I pull apart the heavy curtains and open the double doors to the balcony—snow! A thick blanket of white covers everything in sight from the doorway.
Run outside, so starry eyed
I make my way to the railing, relishing the crunch underfoot. I love waking up to this freshness after it’s snowed overnight. Reminds me of serene winter mornings with Dad and Callum. Down below, the castle is already waking up; there’s a bustle of servants and guards going about their duties. A pack of kids play in the far corner of the courtyard, yelling and shrieking with contagious mirth. One yells “SNOWBALL FIGHT!” and I giggle as their game descends into a mad flurry of fluffy white projectiles.
Wish I still had all day to play, but maybe Callum and I can build a snowman later. Now it’s time for work.
It’s a couple days later, and it’s snowed more, and iced over and snowed again. I love winter! It’s so unpredictable.
We’re all packed up for the Banther Lodge—I didn’t dilly-dally like Callum yelled at me for last time (I’m trying not to think too much about all the circumstances around our last trip to the lodge). I’m really trying to take some worry off his shoulders. He’s been so sad for months now. I wish I could cheer him up, but I think he just needs to feel what he’s feeling, and that apparently means a lot of wallowing for him, even months later.
I get it though. This will be our first trip to the Banther Lodge without Dad. I miss him so much… And Callum has lots of other things on his mind, too. He’s slumped on the courtyard bench now, bundled up in his wool hat and winter cloak, ever-present red scarf wrapped over his face, doodling in his sketchbook while Soren and the other crownguards help load up the sleigh.
Grinning and determined to make my brother smile, I leap and twirl toward him—only to slip on a particularly icy paving stone and faceplant a few feet in front of him.
“Ez!” “Ezran!” I hear their panic from two directions, as Callum and Soren scramble toward me.
“I’m okay!” I call out, rolling over in the snow and chuckling breathily.
I love winter—it’s so unpredictable.
It’s nice that night falls so early in winter. We get to enjoy our annual tradition of a moonlit evening sleigh ride to the lodge, where we’ll be greeted by warm fireplaces and an intimate banquet complete with Barius’ famous spiced Yule cakes for dessert. Aunt Amaya will join us late tonight and whip up her famous lost bread, with last year’s hard baguettes, for breakfast. I like them best with persimmon jam… and I’m salivating now just thinking about it…
Hop in the sleigh, and we’ll glide away
The driver sets the horses in motion into the night, away from the castle and everyone’s sweet sendoff. I glance over at Callum beside me, his knees curled up to his chest. I follow his gaze up to the cool silver light of the full moon. It’s making the snow-covered trees sparkle—and the tears in his eyes. To his credit, he’s keeping it together pretty well. My heart aches too and I understand. He misses her so much. I wrap my arms around him and he leans into me. I know he doesn’t want to talk. It’s not like there’s much to say. It has been months and still no word from her—I just hope she’s okay. Callum certainly isn’t.
As we near the Banther Lodge, I take note of my nipped nose and frozie toesies. Hehe… This sparks the memory of diving into the frozen pond after Zym’s egg.
I feel alive, so I smile wide
I excitedly nudge Soren, who’s been nodding off on my other side, and recount the story since it’s one we hadn’t told him yet. I leave out all mentions of Rayla, for Callum’s benefit. He still looks on numbly.
I wonder how Ellis and Zym are doing. I should write them cards while we stay at the Banther Lodge! Season’s greetings and all that. I miss them both a lot too, although it’s a different kind of missing, because I know I’ll see them again for more fun adventures someday. I’ll ask Callum to illustrate the cards for them, maybe that will cheer his spirit a little.
We’re out enjoying the snow a few mornings later. Soren is chasing me around and laughing his head off, making snow angels, and working on his snow-castle. He borrowed some of the wooden action figures from the playroom and is strategizing where to place them as guards around his icy maquette. I’m finally working on my snowman with Callum. I can tell he’s still sad, but he’s doing his best to keep his mood up today for my sake. Winter is just such a joyful season, why can’t he see that too?
The snowflakes start falling, and I start to float
I have an idea that might cheer him up.
“Callum, what if we gave the snowman horns? Make it a snow-elf? It’ll be almost like Rayla is here playing with us!” I say before I can stop myself.
Callum looks stricken before his expression suddenly turns enraged. He lunges at me, stuffs an armful of snow down the back of my shirt, and stomps back toward the lodge with fists clenched. I try to dislodge the snow, whimpering at the icy melting streams down my back, and Soren quietly comes over to help me. We both look sadly after Callum’s retreating silhouette against the snow. Shit, I didn’t mean to hurt him, but we’re all tired of walking on eggshells around him. He’s just going to have to get through this.
After an amazing dinner, we’re all three curled up under blankets by the blazing hearth. Callum is still sulking a bit, but he calmed down since earlier and apologized at least. Soren, a red and gold stocking cap cocked on his head, is absentmindedly strumming a mandolin (which he definitely doesn’t know how to play). I’ve started drafting my holiday letters to Zym and Ellis, but I’m distracted by the wind howling outside. Through the frosty windowpanes, I see the fervent snowfall outside, and I’m so thankful for shelter and warmth.
I glance at Soren again, our elder friend prodding Callum to sing some familiar carols with him, and my brother relents, a soft smile cracking his lips. We’re all so cozy and I think back to Dad’s rosy cheeks, booming laugh, and warm arms this time of year. He loved to sing carols by the fire too. I decide to let his memory be a happy one, not a sad one.
Opeli suddenly comes up behind the sofa, proffering mugs of sweet, hot peppermint tea. With the beverages, an announcement (we would not expect anything less of Opeli!).
“King Ezran. As it is traditional for families to exchange gifts on the eve of the solstice, everyone at the castle has prepared a gift for you and Prince Callum. The solstice is tomorrow. Would you like to open your gifts?”
My heart lifts a bit. Presents? Every year, Dad would give Callum and I each a warm new pair of socks. It was basically tradition, and I always considered those my lucky socks for the coming year. With Dad gone now, I had planned small gifts for everyone else, but I wasn’t really expecting anything in return. This is so sweet!
Opeli carries over a large, colorfully-wrapped box for each of us.
“Everyone at the castle contributed to this gift, with the warmest wishes,” she declares. I tear through the wrapping paper to find the box filled to the brim with socks of every color and pattern imaginable. Suddenly I’m choked up, in a good way. I smile at Callum and he smiles back, genuine this time.
The joy in my heart is ablaze, and it’s keeping me warm