Work Text:
[five homosexuals and one christmas eve]
DECEMBER 24TH, 2:31 PM
[2:31 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: ITS THE THIRSTIEST TIME OF THE YEAR
[2:31 PM] [Joseph D.]: Can we delete this group chat yet
[2:31 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: hi
[2:31 PM] [Joseph D.]: Bye
[2:31 PM] [Joseph D.] HAS LEFT THE GROUP
[2:31 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: fine. be like that. youll just have to find musical talent somewhere else
[2:32 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: nevermind i already miss him
[2:32 PM] [Joseph D.] HAS JOINED [five homosexuals and one christmas tree] INVITED BY [josephdesaulnierlover649]
[2:33 PM] [Joseph D.]: why
[2:33 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: welcome back
[2:35 PM] [Joseph D.]: I didn't ask to be re-invited. I'm not listening to your Christmas carols
[2:35 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: i have just one query
[2:35 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [WuChang]
[2:35 PM] [WuChang]: what's that
[2:35PM] [WuChang] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [josephdesaulnierlover649]
[2:35 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: WANNA SPRITE CRANBERRY
[2:50 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: i kid u not he literally walked in the room holding two crates of normal sprite with cranberry written on each and every single one of them in black sharpie then painted the green parts with purple sharpie this is the worst christmas ive ever had
[2:51 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: scratch that this is simultaneously the worst christmas eve and the worst day of my life
[2:53 PM] [Joseph D.]: You can count on that being the only gift you're getting this year
[2:54 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]: WHAT ABOUT XIES GIFT?!
[2:56 PM] [Joseph D.]: If I told you now that'd ruin the surprise wouldn't it
[2:56 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649]:
[2:56 PM] [insert cool name here]: not this year fan LOL (i helped color the cans by the way say thank you now)
[2:56 PM] [josephdesaulnierlover649] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [josephdesaulnierHATER649]
[2:56 PM] [Joseph D.]: How do you say it
[2:57 PM] [Joseph D.]: Stay mad hater
[2:57 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: the demons are about to win
[2:57 PM] [insert cool name here]: "my demons won today im sorry" acting like xie wont keep you in the umbrella
[2:58 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: ahhhhhh im so afraid
[3:01 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [WuChang]
[3:03 PM] [insert cool name here]: LMAOOOOOOOOO
[3:03 PM] [WuChang]: did i miss anything? i overread something about an umbrella and felt the need to force myself out
[3:04 PM] [Joseph D.]: Hello
[3:04 PM] [insert cool name here]: fan now hates joseph and would've probably gone on a manhunt if you hadnt come around
[3:05 PM] [WuChang]: oh.
[3:05 PM] [WuChang]: well i'll try and stay as long as i can, then
[3:05 PM] [Joseph D.]: You didn't say hello back
[3:05 PM] [Joseph D.]: I hate men
[3:05 PM] [WuChang]: sorry. hello joseph
[3:05 PM] [Joseph D.]: Gjdgkpoopewsdop
[3:05 PM] [insert cool name here]: please fix your keymashes i feel like im gonna lose my head again everytime i see them
[3:06 PM] [Joseph D.]: Let me try again
[3:06 PM] [Joseph D.]: Fpqwfksajjngf
[3:06 PM]* [Joseph D.]: spadfksafjkmdsjmg
[3:06 PM] [Joseph D.]: FJSDHGFASJHN
[3:06 PM] [Joseph D.]: Which do you prefer
[3:06 PM] [insert cool name here]: i'm starting to think fan was onto something
[3:07 PM] [Joseph D.]: Why are you supporting genocide. Is it because Michko isn't here
[3:07 PM] [insert cool name here]: WHAT its michiko
[3:07 PM] [Joseph D.]: Mich
[3:08 PM] [insert cool name here]: michiko-sama
[3:08 PM] [Joseph D.]: Mich-sama
[3:08 PM] [WuChang]: Geisha-san
[3:08 PM] [insert cool name here]: NOOOO why did you break it
[3:08 PM] [Joseph D.]: Are we going to summon her here or not
[3:08 PM] [WuChang]: i don't see why not
[3:08 PM] [insert cool name here]: k wait spam this
[3:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [WuChang]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [Joseph D.]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [WuChang]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [Joseph D.]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [WuChang]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [WuChang]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [Joseph D.]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: GEISHA-SAMAAAAAA
[3:09 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Hi!
[3:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: SHE'S HERE
[3:10 PM] [insert cool name here]: HII
[3:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: I hate women
[3:10 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: :(
[3:10 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: I can go if you'd like
[3:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: No
[3:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: I was being comedy
[3:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: Comedic
[3:10 PM] [WuChang]: being comedy
[3:10 PM] [WuChang]: like, ceo of comedy? or the definition of comedy
[3:11 PM] [Joseph D.]: Trying to be funny
[3:11 PM] [insert cool name here]: comedy is doomed in that case
[3:11 PM] [Joseph D.]: Your humor is exclusively loud noises pipe down shawty
[3:12 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: How's everyone doing?
[3:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: good ever since you arrived
[3:12 PM] [Joseph D.]: Do you think Aesop's coffins can bury me underground permanently
[3:12 PM] [WuChang]: can i be in the same coffin as you
[3:12 PM] [Joseph D.]: yes
[3:12 PM] [WuChang]: :heart_Eyers:
[3:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: fan punching a wall rn
[3:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: OK EVERYONE LISTEN UP AND QUIET DOWN
[3:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: we have one day till christmas and were probably not the only ones planning some stupid pranks. so
[3:13 PM] [insert cool name here]: i hope weve all learned our lesson last year when it comes to robbie so if any one of you make him shed so much as a tear being locked with jack in the attic will look like some harmless childs game
[3:13 PM] [Joseph D.]: Wrong chat
[3:13 PM] [insert cool name here]: WHOOPS sorry
[3:13 PM] [insert cool name here]: but that first message was for all of you. whore you getting gifts for
[3:13 PM] [WuChang]: WHORE YOU GETTING GIFTS FOR I CANT
[3:13 PM] [Joseph D.]: Whore
[3:13 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Why are you all saying whore?
[3:13 PM] [Joseph D.]: We made her say it
[3:14 PM] [insert cool name here]: a moment of silence for the crime committed by all of us
[3:14 PM] [insert cool name here] HAS MUTED [Joseph D.] and [WuChang]
[3:14 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: ???
[3:14 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Guys? Hello?
[3:14 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Where'd everyone go?
[3:19 PM] [insert cool name here] HAS UNMUTED [Joseph D.] and [WuChang]
[3:19 PM] [WuChang]: we actually got muted what the hell
[3:20 PM] [insert cool name here]: those extra minutes were for making fun of me
[3:20 PM] [Joseph D.]: Because it was the one time you were funny
[3:21 PM] [insert cool name here]: boy
[3:22 PM] [WuChang] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [josephdesaulnierHATER649]
[3:22 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: not even emily gon heal that burn
[3:22 PM] [insert cool name here]: rich coming from the guy who claimed he stuck his dick in a donut before
[3:22 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: WHAT
[3:22 PM] [insert cool name here]: joseph wishin he was heather rn
[3:22 PM] [Joseph D.]: I don't think the girl who made out with a Mich cardboard cut-out after getting turned down for confessing to her with a ring-pop should be saying that
[3:23 PM] [insert cool name here]: i
[3:23 PM] [Joseph D.]: Heart
[3:24 PM] [insert cool name here] HAS LEFT THE GROUP
[3:24 PM] [Joseph D.]: Yeah
[3:24 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Is that true?
[3:24 PM] [Joseph D.]:
[3:24 PM] [Joseph D.]: I forgot this was a group chat
!!!
[five homosexuals and one christmas eve]
CENTERED DECEMBER 24TH, 8:00 PM
[8:00 PM] [insert cool name here] HAS JOINED [five homosexuals and one christmas tree] INVITED BY [gEISHAmICHIKO]
[8:00 PM] [insert cool name here]: OKAY as i was saying before joseph pulled that stunt
[8:00 PM] [Joseph D.]: I already apologized
[8:00 PM] [insert cool name here]: 1 blocked message
[8:00 PM] [insert cool name here]: anyways WHO ARE the people safe from pranks on your ends
[8:01 PM] [Joseph D.]: Anyone whose name isn't Mary
[8:01 PM] [insert cool name here]:
[8:01 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: i was thinking of being nice this year so all ure getting is ure safe on my end. cant promise the same for xie he refuses to tell anyone even me and joseph
[8:01 PM] [insert cool name here]: i take back the donut comment
[8:01 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: U BETTER
[8:02 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: I've got something special for Robbie planned!
[8:02 PM] [Joseph D.]: No offense, but keep it to yourself
[8:02 PM] [Joseph D.]: Last time someone said the same thing Robbie ran off with Bonbon for a full day
[8:02 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: tracy told me bonbon liked it and is kinda sad abt burke not letting us do anything major with them
[8:02 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Wasn't the present inside them?
[8:02 PM] [insert cool name here]: yes it was
[8:03 PM] [insert cool name here]: apparently almost caused him to overheat and fry them for good
[8:03 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: but wasnt his whole thing wanting bonbon to NOT be bonbon
[8:03 PM] [insert cool name here]: tracy spoke to him about it i think and hes sorta accepted it a little bit more
[8:03 PM] [Joseph D.]: Wait that's actually so sweet
[8:03 PM] [insert cool name here]: THATS WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING and im pretty sure shes getting both of them something good for christmas
[8:03 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: goddamn christmas spirit really is a miracle
[8:04 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: I've also noticed both Bonbon and Burke are more social nowadays.
[8:04 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: An actual effort to talk to everyone.
[8:04 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: It's nice to see some people setting aside their differences in here after so long.
[8:04 PM] [insert cool name here]: yeah JOSEPH
[8:05 PM] [Joseph D.]: For one second we established peace in this chat, and you throw it away
[8:05 PM] [Joseph D.]: 😐
[8:06 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649] CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [WuChang]
[8:06 PM] [WuChang]: for the record, everyone's getting gifts this year. some are getting better gifts than others and some are getting coal. the unluckiest ones get something even worse than coal
[8:06 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Joseph is getting the best gift out of everyone.
[8:06 PM] [insert cool name here]: really blurring the fine line separating savagery from stating the obvious rn
[8:06 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Take it however you want.
[8:06 PM] [WuChang]: she's not wrong
[8:07 PM] [Joseph D.]: <3
[8:07 PM] [WuChang]: <3
[8:07 PM] [insert cool name here]: do you think getting an actual diamond ring will impress her
[8:07 PM] [insert cool name here]:
[8:07 PM] [insert cool name here]: IGNORE THAT
[8:07 PM] [Joseph D.]: The answer is yes, by the way
[8:07 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Who's getting a diamond ring?
[8:07 PM] [Joseph D.]:
[8:07 PM] [WuChang]:
[8:07 PM] [WuChang] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [josephdesaulnierHATER649]
[8:08 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]:
[8:08 PM] [insert cool name here]:
[8:08 PM] [insert cool name here]: i hate women
[8:08 PM] [Joseph D.]: We've done it. Mary is officially sexist
[8:08 PM] [insert cool name here]: im gay and homophobic thats what
[8:09 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: then u know what must be done.
[8:09 PM] [insert cool name here]: yes sensei.
[8:09 PM] [insert cool name here] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [michikoHATERhere]
[8:09 PM] [michikoHATERhere]: transformation complete
[8:09 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: welcome to the dark side
[8:10 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: I'm starting to understand why you keep constantly telling me making this chat was a horrible idea, Joseph.
[8:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: And it only took you two Christmas Eves, a ring-pop confession, a Robbie and Bonbon search party, and a rare occasion of Mary joining Fan's bullshit
[8:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: Impressive
[8:10 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: All things considered it's still better than the old hunter chat.
[8:10 PM] [Joseph D.]: We don't bring that up even for comparisons
[8:10 PM] [gEISHAmICHIKO]: Everyone has until exactly midnight to say whatever they want to say before I mute everyone in here like last time! Until then, I'll be signing off. See you all!
[8:11 PM] [Joseph D.]: See you
[8:11 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: SEE U HOMOSEXUAL
[8:11 PM] [insert cool name here]: its ok shes in my DMs she just doesnt wanna deal with our crap for the time being
[8:11 PM] [Joseph D.]: And neither do I. I'm going to go play with Robbie for a bit, you two have fun
[8:11 PM] [insert cool name here]: the thanks i get for helping with the sprite
[8:11 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: yes exactly u dont deserve any
[8:11 PM] [insert cool name here]: do you want to spam this chat until exactly 9 PM with nothing but dickbutt
[8:11 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: fuck yeah lets get it
[8:11 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [insert cool name here]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: DICKBUTT
[8:12 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: DICKBUTT
!!!
[five homosexuals and one christmas eve]
DECEMBER 24TH, 11:58 PM
[11:58 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: THE ANSWER IS CLEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
[11:58 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: ITS THE THIR. THIRSTIEST TIIIIIIME
[11:58 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649]: OF THE YEAAAAAAAAR
[11:59 PM] [josephdesaulnierHATER649] HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO [WuChang]
[11:59 PM] [WuChang]: sprite. lets go
[11:59 PM] [Joseph D.]: I actually fucking hate this chat
!!!
[VALE WAP au]
DECEMBER 24TH, 4:37 AM
[4:37 AM] [edgar valden x nicki minaj]: Art is a fading necessity in today's society. Where are the days an emotion given artistic form entertained thousands, the masses enraptured by many a color forming shapes and figures only an extraordinary mind could produce onto a single, simple square?
[4:40 AM] [edgar valden x nicki minaj]: The woes and struggles of artists are things childish minds could never hope to comprehend. Ignored and unresolved. Left forgotten by other mundane and useless materialistic forms we have grown so used to. The rewards for hard work long watered down and underestimated by those same materialistic and consumerist minds once so dedicated.
[4:47 AM] [edgar valden x nicki minaj]: Mankind's future was never bright. Even today it still remains uncertain and dark. Every art form no matter how insignificant or grand it may be lost to time is one more minute forever lost until Doomsday arrives: Man's debt to pay for going against their predecessors by abandoning the one grand source of all the wisdom pertaining to the highest human minds who shaped the world in ways none could compare to: Vincent van Gogh, Leonardo da Vinci, Pablo Picasso as my examples, and beings whose greatness even I am forced to recognize, as otherwise would spell ignorance and naivety.
[4:49 AM] [lucaballs]: its literally 4 AM we get it u broke ur DAMN PAINTING
[4:50 AM] [edgar valden x nicki minaj]: Shut the fuck up you wouldn't understand agony if it hit you in the face
[4:50 AM] [lucaballs]: agony for me was SHOCKING
[4:50 AM] [edgar valden x nicki minaj]: Another witty retort like that again and there will be two broken paintings
[4:51 AM] [lucaballs]: joe mama LOL
[4:51 AM] [edgar valden x nicki minaj]: I'm going to fucking pulverize you
[4:51 AM] [lucaballs]: no u wouldnt
[4:52 AM] [diggy diggy hole dni]: The both of you, please go to bed.
[4:52 AM] [lucaballs]: pov andrew bedtime
[4:54 AM] [lucaballs]: wait nO NOT NIGHT NIGHT HES IN MY FUCKIGN RO MJR , j nJASFHJk