Chapter Text
One: keep it sweet in your memory
December 2016
Reggie had always loved Christmas. While he couldn’t label himself a fanatic, there was something about the markets, the decorations, the songs playing on repeat throughout the busy streets. It was the twinkling lights that converted the city he saw every day into a wonderland entirely of its own that filled his chest with an overwhelming sense of warmth and comfort, a feeling he only got from music. His parents had never been big on the holidays much to Reggie’s vexation. When he was younger they would make an effort for Christmas, granted more on his mother’s side than his fathers yet looking back on those years now, just like Reggie’s relationship with Santa Claus, it was all make-believe. His parents had given up putting up the same facade now that he was older. The opening of presents together had been replaced with Reggie waking up alone as his parents nursed hangovers well into midday. The watching of Christmas movies was exchanged for his father falling asleep on the couch to a mute television, a beer bottle slowly slipping from his limp hand. The happiness of Christmas dinner usually turned into a heated debate between his parents as Reggie would sit quietly, picking at his food, wanting to shrink into himself. No, Reggie didn’t get his Christmas spirit from home, he had to find it elsewhere. He found it in the strangers who he served at the record shop he worked, he found it in the people watching he did from the nearby cafe on his break, he found it in the love and support he had from his friends. He found it in Julie, Flynn, Carlos, Ray, Alex. When Reggie thought of the word ‘family’, those were the faces he saw. That’s why as Reggie slipped out the door of the record shop just after finishing his final shift before the holidays he found himself grinning as he walked.
That night was the night Reggie looked forward to the most every Yuletide season. The annual Molina Christmas party. A party that Reggie had been invited to years back thinking it a one time thing had now become a permanent fixture in his life. Upon seeing his bus pull into the bus stop, Reggie jogged the small distance ahead joining the long line of Christmas shoppers making their way home. He hopped from one foot to the other, not expecting the cold that lingered in the air as it seeped through the material of his leather jacket. Eventually, Reggie had made his way onto the bus, rushing to the first available seat, reveling in the warmth that stifled the air of the busy vehicle. The bus rolled on towards its next destination, Reggie folded in on himself trying to hold onto the warmth as long as he could. His phone buzzed in his pocket, taking his attention away from the world moving past him through the window. Pulling the device from his pocket, a message from his best friend caught his attention.
Alex:
Are you on your way home?
The summer before, Alex had come out to his family. While everything was still tense, they took it as a good sign that his parents hadn’t immediately disowned him as Alex had worriedly theorized they might. Despite this, Alex continued to feel out of place at home more so than he had before coming out. Slowly, Alex had begun spending more and more time at Reggie’s, the spare guest room gradually becoming Alex’s now that half his stuff occupied it. Reggie didn’t mind at all, he appreciated the company just as much as Alex did. Even his parents had been working to rein in their fighting and nightly shouting. Even if it was all a front for Alex’s sake, Reggie didn’t mind the quiet. He’d almost forgotten what it was like. Reggie hated leaving Alex alone there. The quiet, for a person like Alex was a breeding ground for overthinking but Reggie had to work if he had any hope of getting that new bass he’d been eyeing up. Reggie quickly texted him back, letting the other boy know he was en route. No doubt, Alex was still in the same place Reggie had left him all those hours earlier, curled in blankets on the beanbag in Reggie’s room, making his way through the next semester’s English reading syllabus. He knew being alone in the house made Alex anxious, so he needed to fixate on something. Hell, more often than not the house even made Reggie anxious.
A small breeze caressed the back of Reggie’s neck and he shivered feeling goosebumps climb his skin. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he noticed that an older woman had slid open the top of her window, letting the outside air drift into the bus, attacking any heat Reggie had been yearning for. He turned back, stuffing his phone back in his jacket pocket before he sunk further into the leather material. He carried on trying to revive his warmth for several minutes as the bus closed in on its next stop. His eyes felt mildly heavy and he pondered if he had enough time to take a nap before getting ready for Julie’s Christmas party. The bus slowed to a halt at the next bus stop, cranking open its metal mouth to allow passengers to unload themselves just as others began to push their way onto the bus. Reggie glanced out the window to his left, taking in the stop number so he could determine how much farther he had to go. He was about to look away but as the soft strumming of an acoustic guitar waltzed through the open window behind him and into Reggie’s ears, he froze. The tune sounded vaguely familiar but whoever was playing had revamped it into their own retelling and Reggie found himself turning his whole body towards the window, eyes flickering around the crowd of people waiting to catch a glimpse at the mystery musician.
‘I don’t want our footsteps to be silent anymore. Want them to be in the moment.’
As the light and airy voice wafted through the air, the warmth Reggie had been looking for finally ignited his whole body. The singer’s words like a simple, comforting touch against his cheek, sending them aflame with a tingling blush. The busy street began to slowly disperse, revealing the mystery voice to him. And there he was, standing effortlessly with his back leaning against the bus shelter, his leg propped up against it and a guitar gripped tightly in his hands. The most beautiful boy Reggie had ever laid eyes on. He was shocked, intrigued, enamored with just one look and Reggie debated in his head if it was insanity to feel this way about someone he’d only just seen and never actually met. He couldn’t exactly tell what it was that drew him to the shaggy haired boy. Was it the emotion that he laced every lyric that left his mouth with? Was it the fact he seemed blissfully unaware of those around him, his eyes screwed shut, just him and music? Or maybe it was the bizarre fact he was wearing a muscle tee in the middle of winter? Reggie didn’t know and for the moment he didn’t care, this boy separated from him by a pane of glass had an aura that seemed to illuminate everything around him and Reggie wanted nothing more than to step into his light.
‘But I’m still not certain just how I’m gonna feel. I only know in the moment.’
And with those words falling from his lips the boy’s eyes opened immediately finding Reggie’s and for a moment he forgot how to breathe. Reggie froze yet was unable to break eye contact with the musician. There was something in the other boy’s eyes that Reggie couldn’t exactly place. It felt as if everything Reggie had been thinking about then and there, this boy knew. Or wildly enough, he mirrored the sentiment. Despite being only halfway through his tune, the Bus Boy gave Reggie a timid smile, his song long forgotten. Reggie wanted to hop out of his seat, run to the front of the bus to meet this boy but he stayed rooted in place, unable to fathom the thought. He was afraid to move, to break the moment, to find that this was all a figment of his overworked imagination. He glanced quickly to the doors of the bus seeing the last few passengers boarding before returning his gaze to the guitar boy, finding that his stare had never left Reggie. The brunette musician stumbled away from the bus shelter, nearly tripping over the guitar case at his feet and looking much less effortless than he had moments ago but Reggie let out a quiet chuckle meeting the boy’s sheepish grin again. Bus boy’s eyes flicked towards the doors of the bus mirroring Reggie from moments before. Reggie’s whole body perked up, was he thinking the same thing as him? Reggie begged to the God’s or really anyone that would listen. ‘Please, please let him get on this damn bus.’
The boy on the other side of the window seemed to hear his plees as he hastily grabbed his guitar case from the ground, turning towards the bus. As he began to move through the crowded street, bumping off passerbyers to find his way to the doors of the bus, the familiar creaking of the metal sliding doors filled Reggie’s ears and he nearly jumped from his seat in protest. As the bus doors clanked shut and the bus started its journey once again, Reggie felt his chest tightened as he looked back to the window. His gaze met the boys’ once again and he could only assume the disappointment that lay there was mirrored in his own expression. As his figure began to grow smaller with the more distance put between the pair, Reggie found the strength to finally look away. He glanced around the bus, every other passenger blissfully unaware of the silent interaction. Reggie’s stomach sank, he didn’t know this boy’s name, what he was like and there was definitely no reason to think he had ever been Reggie’s so why did it feel like he just lost something important?
❄
“Reggie, you can’t be in love with someone you’ve never met and only laid eyes on for a few minutes.”
It hadn’t taken long after Reggie had told the tale of his moment with Bus Boy, for Alex to be ever the realist and try to knock down Reggie’s declaration of love with logical fact. Part of Reggie knew just how absurd the whole thing was yet that didn’t do much to cancel out the part of him that was still buzzing with the possibility of what could have been. He knew when it came to romance he was the complete opposite to Alex. Alex was cautious, careful, never letting him get ahead of himself, always pragmatic. And then there was Reggie. Reggie always fell too hard, too fast and even when things wouldn’t work out, he’d still do it again without much consideration for himself. He knew by the way Alex was talking, this is what he was worried about, what he wanted to protect Reggie from. In his eyes, Reggie had gone from falling head over heels after one conversation with someone to falling head over heels after a simple look.
“You know, your constant need to think logically about stuff is really harshing my buzz.” Reggie joked yet he knew deep down he was hurt Alex couldn’t at least humour him but he knew that was just part of his character. They were currently walking through the quiet streets, passing by houses gleaming with Christmas lights, their reflections glimmering against the wet pavement. He decided that the couple of blocks walk to Julie’s house was the time to tell Alex of his day’s events, especially the one that had been lingering in his mind, refusing to leave.
“Are you attracted to this guy? Definitely. Are you in love with the idea of him? Probably. Are you in love with him? You don’t even know him.” Alex pressed, despite the pushiness of his words there was a gentleness to his voice and he knew Alex wasn’t doing it out of malicious intent. He was being protective and was more than likely worried Reggie was losing it with his wild daydreaming.
“But that’s the thing. I might not know him but there was something there, something about him just clicked in me. I want to know him. I want to find him.” He noted the way Alex raised his eyebrow at those words. “I know it all sounds ridiculous so you don’t have to point it out but there was something.”
Alex stayed silent for a moment as they made their way onto Julie’s street, the festivities being heard in the distance. It would seem the whole neighbourhood was involved as they heard cheers and Mariah Carey echoing from their destination.
“But what if you meet him, you get to know him and you find out he’s not at all what you hoped?” Alex asked. Reggie could see the wheels turning in his friend’s head as he came up with hypotheticals. Reggie decided to push farther. “Like what?”
“Like what if he listens to Genesis? Unironically.” Alex suggested.
“Then I’ll learn how to play I Can’t Dance on bass and serenade him.” Reggie quipped without missing a beat. The pair began walking faster now that Julie’s house was in sight. The prospect of her lit fire and warm abode was just too appealing.
“Well what if he’s one of those people who have Instagram accounts for their pets where they write posts pretending to be their pets?” Alex tried again, shoving his cold hands into the pockets of his worn out black denim jacket.
“Then I’ll help him come up with cute captions.” Reggie didn’t have to look at Alex to know the blonde was undoubtedly rolling his eyes at his response. They came to the top of Julie’s driveway when Alex halted. He placed a hand on Reggie’s shoulder, making the shorter boy turn around and face him.
“Okay but what if..” Alex paused for a moment, both his hands now resting on Reggie’s shoulders, face serious. “What if he’s a.. he’s a..” Alex coughed, his words getting caught in his throat. “A heterosexual.” He finished, fake gagging dramatically. Reggie couldn’t help but laugh, throwing his head back as he did so.
“Well that’s good. Our group needs a token straight friend.” Reggie met Alex’s gaze, the taller boy dropping his hands from Reggie’s shoulders, his own sagging at his reply.
“You’re impossible, you know that.” Alex sighed but Reggie knew he meant nothing by it. He wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulders, squeezing him to his side before placing a quick kiss to the blonde boy's cheek. Reggie was thankful that he and Alex were able to be like this without ever having to question anything. When they were thirteen, Reggie was the first person Alex had come out to. When they were fourteen and Alex was afraid he’d never get his first kiss, Reggie didn’t think twice about offering to be. And when Reggie confided in him weeks after that he liked kissing boys just as he did girls, Alex understood. They never had to wonder about the other, their cards always lay bare on the table. They made their way through the garden and into the packed house, laughter and Christmas spirit flooding every room. Ray spotted them from his place in the living room, a large Santa hat sitting on his head as he waved to the two boys who had become like extra sons to him.
“Merry Christmas, boys. Flynn and Julie are in the kitchen.” With a wide smile, he was pulled back into conversation with Julie’s tia and the boys made their way through the crowded hallway, Alex apologizing profusely to everyone they brushed past as he did. The kitchen was only slightly quieter than the rest of the house but the breathing space was welcomed as they spotted the two girls pouring glasses of mulled wine.
“You guys made it!” Julie cheered, running over to the two taller boys cuddling them into a combined hug. Flynn followed her lead, giving the boys individual hugs as Julie went back to the punch bowl pouring the newcomers drinks.
“Julie, we always make it without fail.” Reggie chuckles pulling Flynn into a side hug, the smaller girl snuggling into him and remaining there as the group chatted.
“Yeah, I know. But you were a bit late tonight, I thought something might have happened.” Julie explained, handing over the drinks to the two boys. Reggie’s eyes lit up as he was about to dive into his tale of Bus Boy as it was his conversation with Alex that had kept them from arriving on time. Alex had a tendency to stop walking when he was trying to comprehend something.
“Sorry, Reggie held us up with his story of how he ‘fell in love’ with a complete stranger today.” Alex had beaten him to it. Reggie rolled his eyes not appreciating Alex’s air quotes as he said ‘fell in love’.
“Not a stranger, an actual angel.” Reggie corrected, his eyes softening at the memory of their gazes meeting.
“You said this guy was wearing a muscle tee in the middle of December! He has to be a psychopath.” Alex took a quick swig of his drink before continuing. “Or at least a narcissist.”
Reggie had to force himself from rolling his eyes at his best friend again. He knew Alex would probably never understand. Sure it was implausible but not impossible. He was thankful when Flynn and Julie seemed intrigued by Reggie’s mystery man as they begged for full details on the encounter. When he was finished his narration of the tale of two ill fated lovers and a bus, Flynn and Julie were invested.
“It’s like Ross and Rachel and the plane.” Flynn gasped out, fanning herself as to not get emotional. Julie began nodding her head furiously in agreement.
“You should have got off the bus.” Julie scolded, Flynn repeating the sentiment in equal agreement. He could vaguely hear Alex mutter an exasperated ‘Oh my God’ from beside him.
“We have to help you find Bus Boy.” Flynn announced, Julie perking up at the idea and Reggie’s smile spread wide across his face from the support.
“To finding Reggie’s mystery Bus Boy.” Julie toasted, raising her half full glass between her friends. Flynn immediately followed suit, raising hers and lastly Reggie. They all looked back to Alex who watched them with raised eyebrows before he sighed.
“I can’t believe you’re humouring him.” Regardless, Alex raised his glass with his three best friends chanting ‘To finding Bus Boy’ in unison before they all knocked back the rest of their drinks.
It may not have been Christmas yet but Reggie was already planning New Year’s resolutions. And at the top of that list?
Find his Bus Boy.