Chapter Text
Jungkook was sitting by the river when it started snowing. He had woken up early today and found himself getting ready in a daze, walking out of his apartment before he even had time to think.
Before that, he had hunched over his kitchen table and poured himself a cup of instant soup for breakfast, the walls of his apartment shrinking smaller and smaller until finally he finished the bowl and dumped it in his sink. He pushed his chair in with a dramatic thump and pulled on his warmest clothes and set off with his camera.
The river always pulled him, maybe because it had a type of gravity, cutting through the city and splitting it in two. Or maybe it was just a habit, a series of well-worn trails and paths that Jungkook had been on hundreds of times since he got to Seoul. But either way, he found himself walking in the direction of the river.
The walk was a little long. A bus was better suited, but he had a hot pack in each pocket and he felt okay, if not a little melancholy. The streets were empty because of the holiday, sky cloudy even though the sun had already risen. It was just a day, he kept telling himself. Only one day out of a whole year. Just a day.
He had decided not to go home this year for a variety of reasons, but mainly because he had a class on Monday and his thesis to prepare for. He would go home for almost two weeks next month, so he figured he could wait.
It did feel weird to be alone on Christmas, though.
His camera thumped against his breastbone, a rhythmic pulse as he walked. He picked up a takeout coffee, warming his hands through the gloves. He sat by the river.
He had only taken a few pictures when it started to snow, and he held his breath. The flurries were small and fast and quickly clogged the air, changing the gloomy cityscape into something magical. He walked down the paths and took more pictures, passing the odd couple strolling, someone walking their dog behind an expensive apartment complex, a father and a child catching snowflakes on their tongues.
When he was sufficiently frozen, he wandered to the closest subway station and got on, letting his feet carry him by force of habit.
They carried him to the bookshop.
He remembered interviewing for the job—he had seen the sign at a bulletin board on his college campus. When he arrived, Namjoon had been shelving books. He turned around and gave Jungkook a disarming, very dimpled grin, skin golden under the warm light and Jungkook had felt himself freeze, already feeling the words get caught in his throat.
“The i-in… I’m here for t-the interview?” His voice came out squeaky, childhood stutter coming back suddenly. It made him blush down to his chest.
“Yes! Of course!” Namjoon had been so kind to him, all but begging for Jungkook to take the job.
“You’re a film major, wow…” Namjoon blew out a breath, “That’s… well, that’s amazing of course, but I’m sure you’re really busy. I promise the hours here are super flexible, you can make your own schedule, even. I just don’t think I can do this all by myself anymore, you know?”
Little had he known that Jungkook’s scholarship money could only stretch so far and that he was all but desperate himself. And, after one walk around the store, he had already fallen in love with this place. The mismatched shelves that made the narrow spaces look like tunnels, the nooks where Namjoon had stuck plush, second hand chairs. The trendy neighborhood full of quiet alleys. The little potted plants, the cacti, the stacks of magazines. It was barely organized chaos.
“I- I would love the job.” Namjoon sat up and grinned again, making Jungkook blush. “I’m just… I’m…not ve-very good at talking to strangers anymore, I think.”
He was out of practice. Probably from having next to no friends in Seoul. He had been socially anxious in high school too, but he had played sports and felt safe. Seoul and college was a whole different world, like fighting the current in a fast stream. No matter how hard he swam, it seemed futile.
Namjoon’s expression was warm and genuine, “I understand. Maybe working here could help you practice.” He smiled, “And I promise, our customers are very kind, and usually very quiet. It’s a nice place to work.”
It didn’t take long for Namjoon’s love and devotion for this place to infect Jungkook too. It poured out of Namjoon, and Jungkook took to bringing his camera and capturing his favorite details, fishing out novels from the far corners of shelves and paging through them while he was working. And then came Yoongi, Namjoon’s quiet boyfriend, a kindred spirit. He felt so taken care of here, with Namjoon’s support and Yoongi’s advice, and lots and lots of homemade food that they would accidentally make too much of.
He fished the key from his wallet and unlocked the heavy wooden door with a thump, keeping the blinds drawn and the “closed” sign up.
He had been so eager to please. In fact, he still was so eager to please. He had just graduated and now this place was his life, his full-time job, and he couldn’t be happier about it. Namjoon had helped him come to terms with that.
Plus, he had Yoongi and Namjoon to thank for his group of friends here. Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, Seokjin, and Yoongi—a group from college who had stayed close. And then Namjoon met Yoongi, and then they both decided that Jungkook would fit right in and… he would never stop being grateful.
And so college had gone by faster, and they had all made so many memories together until one day it was almost over. He blinked and he was finishing his thesis, with only his defense and a month left of school. And then graduation.
Namjoon had sat him down for a talk. “You excited to finally have your thesis done?”
Jungkook felt like he had tunnel vision. He swallowed, “Yeah.” He had no projects lined up for afterward, no plans. No idea what he was going to do next. The future was rushing towards him at a frightening pace and he felt like he was entirely unprepared to meet it.
Namjoon nodded, “Once you finish that, there’s no limit, Jungkook-ah. You can do whatever you want. Your work is wonderful.” Namjoon wasn’t looking at him. He was flipping through papers, checking the stacks of books that they would be ordering this week. But Jungkook heard the sincerity in his voice all the same and it scared him.
“I—Hyung, Can I”—He stuttered over his words, something that rarely happened around Namjoon now. But he couldn’t help the anxiety that was building up in his throat.
“What’s wrong?” Now Namjoon was looking at him and his chest squeezed tight.
“I can still work at the bookstore, right? After, I mean?” The words tumbled out of his mouth and he stood there staring wide-eyed at Namjoon, chest heaving from the effort.
Namjoon stood up slowly like he was a frightened animal, “Of course. Of course you can still work here.” Namjoon took a few steps forward. “Is everything alright?”
“Hyung, I have no idea what I want to do after I graduate,” Jungkook knew he sounded miserable and pitiful but it was the truth. “And I have to leave the dorms and I won’t have access to the school studio anymore and I don’t have any projects lined up,” he ran his fingers through his hair. “And, my parents moved houses so I don’t have a room anymore and it feels like they just… like they just kicked me out, you know? And I know you liked having a student as your employee and I won’t be a student anymore so I don’t know I just thought… I just thought, that, like,” He shot Namjoon a frantic look.
Namjoon cut him off before he could continue, “Whoa, whoa. No one’s kicking you out of anything, Jungkook. You have a job here as long as you want.” Namjoon laughed a little, a kind laugh, “And I didn’t like have a student working here, I liked having you work here. I like having you work here with me, or running the store alone. I trust you.”
Namjoon nodded, making sure Jungkook was understanding. Jungkook nodded back dumbly, willing himself to believe his hyung. “It’s fine if you have no idea what you want to do. It’s fine if you want to just do film and photography as a hobby and work here with me. Besides…” Namjoon hesitated, “Besides, I’ve been thinking. I don’t know if this is the right time to bring it up, but I do need someone to go full time. Either you, or I can hire someone else… but I would like it to be you,” He said with a shrug.
Jungkook kept nodding, feeling like he was floating a little bit. He sniffed, “Yeah, hyung. I’d like that. To go full time.” He nodded again and then stopped himself, “At least for now.”
Namjoon gave him a smile, “Yeah, at least for now.” He hesitated and took another step towards Jungkook, voice softer, “Can I give you a hug?”
“Yeah.” Jungkook tucked himself into Namjoon’s arms, feeling like he had just breathed a great sigh of relief.
And it had all worked out for the best because now Jungkook had more time to learn photography, more time for videography without a purpose that was letting him explore his art. Meanwhile, Namjoon was spending more and more time away from the shop so he could write and be with Yoongi so Jungkook was taking more responsibility. Namjoon had loved his idea or showcasing local photographers work on their walls so Jungkook was organizing that project now, and wow, it felt amazing. To have someplace to do cool things. To organize his own, albeit small, exhibition.
Jungkook’s phone rang, interrupting his thoughts and sending him flying to turn off the ringtone, which sounded loud and jarring in the quiet office.
“Hello?” He sounded out of breath, a little shocked. He thought maybe it was his parents, and wondered why they were calling.
There was some shrieking, loud laughter, and then a “MERRY CHRISTMAS!” It sounded like they were far away.
Jungkook relaxed, realizing who it was. His friends.
“Jungkook-ah!”
“Jungkook!”
“Where are you?” The line went momentarily quiet. Jungkook found himself a little embarrassed that he had gone to the bookstore on his day off.
“I’m, um, just out. Taking some pictures.”
“You’re in Seoul, right?”
“I—yeah. I’m still in the city.”
“Whew, thank god. Well, we’re all here. Hoseok’s flight to Japan got cancelled and me and Taehyung decided not to drive back in the snow.”
“Oh.” Jungkook remembered Jimin saying that he was staying, and he knew Yoongi and Namjoon were holed up in their apartment for the weekend, but now all of the others were together. He felt a pang of sadness that he wasn’t with them.
“So, we were thinking,” this time it was Seokjin’s voice, shushing the excited whispers of the others. “We’re going to have a little Christmas get-together at my place. Are you in?”
His chest warmed, “Yeah, of course.”
“Wonderful, we’re going to order food, I think, but if you want any cookies or something you might want to run to the store.”
“What time should I come over?”
Seokjin hummed, “Well, you’re just hanging out now, right? No plans?”
“Yeah, no plans.” Jungkook sounded a little pitiful, unintentionally.
“So just come over in a few hours, whenever you’re ready. Taehyung and Jimin are gonna clean their place a little and Hoseok has to drop his suitcase back off at his place, so they’ll all just come over around 5:00? But if you’re free earlier just… come over.”
“Yeah, okay. Thanks, hyung.”
Seokjin’s smile was audible over the phone, “Of course. Well, now I have to call Namjoon and Yoongi. Not sure if I’ll be able to get them to come, but it’s worth a shot.”
Jungkook gave a small, breathy laugh over the phone, “Well, good luck hyung.”
“Thanks, I’ll need it,” Seokjin faked annoyance, “But see you later, alright? Just come over whenever?”
Jungkook nodded and then realized Seokjin couldn’t see him, “Yeah, alright.”
“See you later!”
“Love you, Merry Christmas!”
“Love you more, Jungkookie!”
There was a chorus of goodbyes and then the phone shut off. Jungkook curled into the office chair and spun in a lazy circle. The heater had kicked in a few minutes ago and he was feeling toasty and warm down to his toes.
At the end of it, Christmas is really only just a day, right? But he had had a good day so far. And a night spent with his friends would be even better.
Just a day. Jungkook tipped his head back and stared at the ceiling, where Namjoon had taped up a bunch of notes left by customers. They had spread across their little office ceiling and into the bookstore, fluttering like leaves every time the doors opened. They fluttered now a little in the wind of the heater.
See you later!
He sent one last text to their group chat and then picked up his camera to make the journey home.