Work Text:
After practice, most of the team decided to go out and stop by coach Ukai’s shop for snacks, like usual. Kageyama had tried insisting that he wasn’t hungry, so he wasn’t going to buy anything, but Hinata had basically shoved a piece of melon bread in his mouth, demanding he at least had something after all the exercise they did. The tiny ball of flaming energy stayed watching him, making sure he actually swallowed before letting him off the hook and started rambling about random stuff that Kageyama (regretfully) couldn’t pay attention to. He felt bile start rising in his throat. He excused himself, saying he had to use the restroom before he rushed outside to find the closest secluded place to puke up what he tried desperately to digest.
***********
Kageyama stumbled into the alleyway, catching himself on the wall and heaving up what he just ate not even five minutes ago. This was so frustrating . He hadn’t eaten in over a couple of months, and he was absolutely starving . It felt like absolute hell. Coffee can only get you so far and he was teetering on the breaking point. He couldn’t lose it now, though. The team was waiting for him to get back. Sometimes he hated the fact that he was a ghoul. He knew it wasn’t his fault he was like this, but somehow that made it worse , the fact that he had no say in what happened. He just always felt so disgusting and vile and just so much like a monster that he just didn’t really know what to do at this point. He was trying so hard to be discrete because he knew for sure if anyone, even his team, even Hinata ( especially Hinata ), were to find out about his condition , he could say goodbye to the trust and friendship he had gained over the year. And that would rip the rest of his (very small, mind you) will to live to shreds
He could feel tears running down his face, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at the moment as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. That tears only lasted a few seconds though as he startled, going stock still as he heard light footsteps fastly approaching.
“Kage...yama?” He heard a hesitant voice ask. Crap, Hinata. “Are you...okay? You were gone for a while, so I tried knocking on the stalls to find you, but you weren’t there.”
“I’m fine.” He replied, maybe a bit too quickly, “I just…I think I’ll head home early. I’m not feeling too good right now. So um…goodnight.” He started speed walking further into the alley.
“Uh, that’s a dead end. You’re acting kind of weird, Kageyama. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Kageyama cleared his throat, subtly wiping his eyes with his jacket sleeves while he swore internally, cursing himself for taking so long to come back. “I, um, yeah, I knew that. Of course I knew that, I was just testing you, Dumbass.” His voice choked up a bit at the end, and he could feel the stinging of more tears rising as his panic grew. Hinata likely wasn’t going to leave him be, now that he could tell something was definitely up. He might just have to run for it. Yeah, that sounded alright. When he found an opening, he would book it out of the alley and down the street, straight towards home. Oh, God. Hinata was as fast as him though, right? He’d be able to keep up, and Kageyama didn’t think it would be a good idea to use anything gained from his ghoul side as he was still desperately starving (if he even could in the state he was in). He didn’t know how he was going to-
“...geyama? Kageyama? I can take you home if you’re not feeling well. You’re spacing off a lot and I don’t think-” Wait, when did he get closer? Why didn’t he hear him? He should have heard him-
“I said I was fine! What part about that don’t you understand!?” He snapped, turning to face the ginger-haired boy straight on. The tears were falling again. He doubted this could get any worse.
Hinata looked at him for a second, face scrunched up in anger from being yelled at when he was just trying to help ( why couldn’t he see that- ) before it twisted into something that looked like shock mixed with a bit of… fear?
“Kageyama, your...your eye.”
Fuck, it just got worse.
He stood there for a second, mouth hanging slightly open and tears still running down his face before his mind caught up with what Hinata had just said and he covered his eye, making a break for the open end of the alley. He was almost there before his arm was grabbed, keeping him from moving any closer to freedom. The grip was surprisingly strong for the small boy, he found out, as he tried pulling his arm back but found himself unable to. ( The amount of muscle that means Hinata had- )
“Let me go.” He tried mustering up as much confidence and conviction as he could into that one statement, but it still ended up sounding choked up and broken.
( He could smell the sweet scent of meat coming from him now and was disgusted with himself for thinking it smelled so good- )
“Not until you tell me why your eye is like that.” Kageyama sometimes wished Hinata wasn’t as stupidly stubborn as he was. Now was one of those times.
'If he smells so good, why not just eat him? It's not like there's anyone here to hold you back. Plus it's been so long-'
He tried to quickly block those thoughts from his mind. He had promised himself not to kill anyone, no matter how hungry he was.
"Please...just let me go… I'll explain later, just...now isn't a good time." he could feel his resolve crumbling the longer he stayed there. He needed to get out now before-
"Okay." The grip on his arm was released.
"Okay?"
"Yes, okay. Are you going deaf, too, Bakageyama? I'll tell the others that you went on ahead because you weren't feeling good, don't worry. But I'm still expecting an explanation later. Just focus on feeling better right now, yeah?" The smile Hinata gave him was soft and encouraging. His stomach fluttered, probably from the hunger. He gave a nod.
“Okay,” he made it to the end of the alley before taking a deep breath and turning back around. “Thank you, and....don’t tell anyone about the eye...please.” Hinata just kept smiling and nodded, so he nodded back, finally walking out of the alley and down the road.