Chapter Text
Sebastian Moran, ex-colonel of the US corps and current barista of the Hired Gun – trending local coffee shop-, clutched the thin metal of his current phone harder.
‘Babe, what do you mean, you won’t be able to make it for Christmas?’ He asked, ‘you agreed we’d spend it at my family’s! They’ve got this awesome chalet with a view…’
A customer made to interrupt him, but a pointed glare from the tall, built man got him thinking that perhaps his order would benefit from reading the menu one or two times over again.
‘I know Seb! It’s just… I lied. I never intended to come. In fact, I am dumping you.’ His girlfriend’s voice filtered through.
‘But we had agreement-sex!’ He blurted, exasperated.
He got to pacing up and down behind the counter, the eyes of the sole customer following him in a mesmerised fashion.
‘Yes, I know! Well, you are kind of a sex god, and I wasn’t going to pass one last chance! Good luck with your family, don’t call again!’ The cursed woman chirped, before hanging up.
Sebastian eyelid twitched. The customer looked at him like a rabbit ready to get mauled by a bear.
‘I told you she was a tosser.’ Mary managed to call from the back of the shop.
‘No you didn’t!’ He yelled back in frustration, before pausing to consider. ‘Did you?’ He added, uncertain.
‘Yes, yes I did. Like I did for the past ten or twenty chicks you dated and all supposedly were the love or your life before they unceremoniously dumped your arse.’
His co-worker passed her head through the doorframe, taking in the solitary figure of the customer that had now acknowledged that, if he couldn’t be in for the sugar and coffee, at least he could be in for the drama, and waved.
‘My shift’s over, try not to fall head over heels in love for the next bosom that passes the door. It’s past being funny into tedious now!’
‘I was supposed to bring her home for Christmas, I have told all my family I would bring her!’ He called out to Mary, ‘What the hell am I gonna do?’
‘You’ll manage being a disappointment just fine honey, you got practice. I believe in you.’
‘Arsehole.’ He spat through gritted teeth, passing a weary hand across his face.
‘Merry Christmas to you too, tosser!’ She called back, before closing the door behind her, only letting in a small flurry of snowflakes.
Sebastian slumped behind the counter, with a hollow sigh. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he summarised the pit into which he’d just flung himself.
Since he’d gone back from the army, his parents had been overbearing. Possibly due to the fact they’d never approved of him joining in the first place, possibly because of the less than honourable circumstance that had seen him removed from it. Somehow, they’d got stuck into their little chicken heads that getting himself a proper job, and a proper girlfriend would get him sorted out.
The first seemed like a hopeless endeavour, since stable jobs seemed to elude him like water running from his fingers. Somehow, he always managed to fuck something up royally and get himself fired faster than he could articulate employment. He’d collected more jobs than guns back when he was in the army. That was a lot.
He’d fallen back onto the second point, convinced his good looks and easy banter would grant him easy victory. Apparently not. He sent a poisonous look toward his phone, herald of his latest disappointment. He’d chained relationship, but all the girls eventually dumped him. When they bothered with an explanation, it was on the line of him being odd and scaring them.
Perhaps he ought to stop keeping a knife under his pillow and a handgun under the bed… But well, that was a thought for the next time he’d managed a girlfriend. Perhaps he could just hide them better.
He sighed. He was loath to admit, but his parents constant nagging had him on edge, and it was starting to sink in. That he was a hopeless nutjob.
This year was going to be horrible. Nobody would buy any excuse that Lily had to cancel, they would see right through it. He started massaging his forehead. He’d told them nothing about her, just that he’d be bringing ‘the love of his life’. Perhaps he could find a replacement…
No way. He was to leave directly after his shift. There was no way he’d find someone in time.
‘Are you ordering or what?’ A smooth, slightly pissed voiced sounded from before him.
Sebastian snapped his head up.
‘Hu! No, nono!’ The unnamed customer answered in a flurry. ‘I was leaving actually.’
The newcomer looked the other skitter out with a raised eyebrow and a puzzled face, before turning his attention back to the barista, that is one Sebastian Moran.
One, smitten, Sebastian Moran.
The stranger was shorter than him, smartly dressed, with black hair and wide dark eyes. His skin was white from the cold, and his lips a smear of red on his ghastly face.
He looked like perfection.
‘I’ll have one large black coffee with heaps of sugar and cream. Don’t know how you call it, don’t care. Just make it quick.’ He drawled, turning his back to Sebastian to gaze through the shop window into the darkening street.
‘Sure…’ Sebastian answered, still dazed.
In a trance, he grabbed onto the nearest empty coffee pot and slammed it against the stranger’s head, knocking him off.
On auto-pilot, he dragged him behind the counter, through the backdoor and onto the passenger’s seat of his old car. He dashed back inside to close the shop, scrambled a quick ‘Merry Christmas!’ note to his boss (perhaps he would be forgiven from closing early), and back to what passed bravely as his car.
As he jolted the car into a start, and pulled into the traffic, a huge happy smile split his face.
The perfection would do just fine.