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He was perfectly fine 10 minutes ago when he was running around the SMP with his friends. Then all the sudden it hit him like a bus. The feeling in his chest. The feeling that's like someone is pushing you square in the middle of your chest. The feeling instantly making it harder to breathe. His throat felt like it was closing. The used to be steady rise and fall became shaky. His hands felt as though they were vibrating violently against his keyboard and they quickly became clammy. 'Just breathe, Clay. It's a misfire. You're safe. Everything is fine.' He thought to himself. It had been something his therapist taught him when he had random panic attacks.
"Dream?" A voice said that sounded like it came from far away and up close at the same time. "Dream?" The voice repeated sounding closer. It sounded as though it was trying to break him from whatever was happening but it just wasn't working. It sounded concerned but he couldn't make out who it was. He had long forgotten what he was doing and who he was with as he was trying to prevent the inevitable from happening. He was too far gone at this point, repeating those words were doing nothing but making it worse. He moved his mouse with shaky hands and quickly left the call not wanting to worry his friends.
He wiped his hands on his sweats before he got up and began walking around. The quick pacing from side to side doing absolutely nothing to help him calm. A loud buzzing made him jump possibly worsening his state. He walked over to the source and noticed it was George calling him. 'I really shouldn't pick up. He won't care and he'll probably get mad for ruining his stream'. In the back of his mind he knew George wasn't like that, but it didn't matter, he couldn't think straight. Reluctantly he hit the green button instant regret consuming him when he heard George's worried tone. It wasn't his intention to worry his friend like that and he really didn't mean for the brunette to end his stream because of him. He'd much rather have George spend time doing something he enjoyed instead of being bothered by him.
"Hey, Clay are you ok?" George said into the phone causing Dream's heart to quicken even more. Of course he made it obvious. Could he do anything right? He felt his lungs close and his tongue felt tied. He couldn't say anything. He wanted to just stop. He didn't know what he wanted to stop but he just wanted to stop. He heard shuffling in the silence. He assumed it's because he made George uncomfortable some how. "Is it your anxiety again?" George said fondly while getting comfortable in his chair.
He chest squeezed and he quickly let out a breath. He hoped that was enough for George to understand. He really felt bad for bothering him and just wanted him to go back to doing what he was doing before. He didn't deserve his time. "Ok. Dream I'm gonna ask you to do some things for me, can you try them?" The tone is his voice slightly bringing him back and allowed him to speak for a moment. He muttered a quick 'yes' and sat down is his desk chair.
"This is going to sound completely silly but I promise it'll help ok?" Dream was willing to do whatever if it meant he could feel normal again. He hated this feeling. "I need you to stand up and do a few jumping jacks for me. Do.... um... 10? And count out loud for me please." Dream did as he was told. He stood up and moved slightly away from his desk and began to do jumping jacks hesitantly counting out loud.
"I read that exercise helps with heart rate. Ok, now look around the room and find one object. I don't care what it is, examine it, and describe it to me. I know it may be hard but you can do it." George said hoping his friend would listen to everything he was saying. He looked around the room and found a random object and began describing it shakily and breathlessly. Half way through he began to feel somewhat calmer, no where near 'calm' but he could feel his body beginning to relax.
"-and it has a blue sweatshirt on it. I guess it's like royal blue. His fur is-" Dream had picked up a small teddy bear he'd gotten at an amusement park years ago. Subconsciously he picked it because of the deep royal blue color the bear was wearing. He knew it was a color George could see and he wanted him to be able to perfectly picture it. After he finished George spoke up again.
"Ok, now that you've done that, what are five things you can hear? I know it sounds hard but I know there's got to be enough random noises in Florida with the stories I hear." George said with a slight laugh. Dream had began to relax more, George's mere presence helping him slowly calm.
"I hear you. Um... I hear crickets? There's also the rain that's kinda loud." He paused for a moment trying to hear.
"That's three, you've got two more. I'm sure you can do it." George said reassuringly.
"Patches just meowed, she probably wants into my room." Dream said getting up and opening the door to let her in. She gladly walked in going straight to the bed and curling up.
"Ok, one more." George reminds him.
"The air conditioner is pretty loud right now." Dream said finishing the current task George had given him. He finally felt as if he could breath somewhat.
"That's great! Ok, what are five things you can see? I know this can get repetitive but that's the point. "
"Um, my monitor. Patches on my bed curled into a blanket. My phone in my hand. The-" Dream finished and felt his body begin shaking less.
"Ok again. What are five things you could physically touch right now without getting up?" George said, tone never sounding one bit annoyed or frustrated.
Dream does this as well and feels his heart rate begin to fall back into it's regular routine. He felt lighter. He felt like he could breathe and talk with out much effort again. He wasn't completely fine but he was for sure pretty close.
"I think this will be the last one. This helps with tension. I want you to squeeze or scrunch everything in your body, hold for 5 seconds, then release." George explained. Dream did just that and repeated it until his body felt free of any extra tension the attack caused. He felt fine. Not perfect but fine. They sat in silence for a moment. Not suffocating like earlier, but a comforting silence.
"George how did you know all that?" Dream finally spoke up while playing with his fingers. He was glad he did but he still didn't know why. George had suffered from anxiety but has personally said it was just normal stress stuff.
"This is embarrassing." He mumbled into his sweater sleeve. "Last time something like that happened and you said that it happened a lot I wanted to be able to help you." He said hiding his face. Dream felt a smile fall onto his face. "I did some research and found some grounding techniques. I hoped they worked and it seems like they did."
Dream was surprised. He knew that he would move heaven and hell if it would make George smile but he had no idea his friend would do that much to help him. He felt like he didn't deserve it but he just pushed that down in order to enjoy it.
"Thank you." Dream said fondness overflowing in his voice.
"It was nothing, I'm just glad it helped." George said smiling. To him it was nothing, he too would move heaven and hell just for a small smile from his friend.
"No, George. That means so much to me. You have no idea." Dream said smile plastered on his face. "You did that just to help me and you don't even boast about it. You're so caring. It wasn't nothing." It honestly touched his heart that George cared so much. His smile never left his face.
"Well I'm glad I could help Dream. Please get some rest it's like 4 am over there." George said checking the time. He himself hadn't even slept yet, too busy having fun with his friends and streaming. "Call me when you wake up." George said smile heard in his voice.
"I will." Dream paused for a moment. "Thank you, George, really. It means a lot."
"It really was nothing." George said feeling some heat creep up his neck. "Now go to bed." George said giggling.
"I love you, George."
"I love you too, Clay."