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Now, listen, Jisung has had his fair share of puppy crushes. He likes to think he's an expert in this field. Who else is a better candidate for an expert in crushes than someone who has years of experience under his belt of being infatuated with all types of people for all different reasons? That's right, Han Jisung is the top candidate. Though, he admits, it's more like he's the only candidate.
He can hear Seungmin tutting at him in his brain, his nasal voice berating him, “I don’t think that’s something you should be proud of, Hannie.” Screw Seungmin, Jisung is proud of his track record, even if he didn't come out of it the happiest. At least he's had experience - he's on a different level to Seungmin, who's only had his eyes set on Minho and Changbin for as long as he's known them.
Take that, Seungmin.
Coming back to the matter, Jisung's been through this dozens of times; he knows how this game goes. He sees someone be endearing for a microsecond and his heart latches onto that. For the next few weeks, they are all he can think about. Every little action sets off a chain of reactions in his body - he prefers to think of it as him being a human popcorn or firework. He eventually realises that staring at them from afar and not doing much to progress his level of friendship with them doesn't help and will get him nowhere. And what does Jisung do after that? Of course, he moves on to the next person.
Life's too short to be caught up in could-haves, would-haves and should-haves, and of course, it's most definitely not like his anxiety with new people is stopping a beautiful new romance from developing. Oh no, he wants to have as many fleeting crushes as he can. It gives him inspiration for writing bomb lyrics, like Changbin says sometimes. You can't just write about things you're angry about, he reasons. There's a limit to how many times you can make a diss track about the barista who always charges him an extra ten cents for no reason at the coffee shop down the street.
(Jisung is lying, there is a reason. Jisung's hilarious pick-up lines and one-liners aren't particularly Hyunjin's cup of tea, if you will. Hyunjin and Seungmin have no sense of humour or fun, Jisung thinks. No wonder why they get along so well.)
So, the matter at hand is Jisung, a professional in the field of puppy crushes, is stuck between a rock and a hard place. It's nothing too concerning, fret not. It's just that there's been one puppy crush - can he even call it a puppy crush at the moment if he's had it for three years? - and it tears Jisung up inside. If it were anyone else, he'd be fine. By this point at three years of hopeless pining, he surely would have wrangled up some courage to ask them on a low-pressure date.
But it's not just any ordinary person - it's Bang Chan, Felix's brother. Felix, his ride-or-die, his soulmate, his twin. Jisung doesn’t get many opportunities to see Chan (read: none so far) as Chan is very busy, doing whatever adults do and then more. He knows that Chan's sleep schedule is bad bad from Felix's worried texts so he must be an awfully occupied person. Chan's name is the forefront of their school's music program as he had secured a position as a junior producer when he was in his senior year - a feat that never ceases to amaze Jisung.
Chan's got all the ideal traits Jisung dreams of having in a partner, at least from what Felix says. Chan is incredibly kind, supportive and appreciative; he puts others in front and is dedicated to improving his craft. Oh, and most importantly, Felix says Chan gives the best hugs.
With that one statement, Jisung was absolutely sold. He was smitten. A kind human being who gives the best hugs? Sign him up for that good stuff! How come no one's given him the sign-up sheet yet?
The only interaction Jisung's had with Chan are extremely minimal and have never been face-to-face, but they all consist of Chan having a shower as Jisung bounds over to Felix's room. The bathroom is directly in front of Felix's room, only separated by a hallway of three large steps. Needless to say, Chan enjoys singing in the shower, and Jisung enjoys listening to angels sing.
There's just something satisfying about the way Chan belts - his chest voice is magnificent, Jisung can assure you that - and how rich his voice sounds. When that is combined with the echo of the shower, Jisung fumbles and stumbles on his own feet, which catches Chan's attention, causing Chan to stop his beautiful rendition of the Pokemon theme song or Bboom Bboom, depending on the day. Jisung finds the Pokemon theme song is typically reserved for Saturday evenings, Bboom Bboom for Sunday evenings and a variety of Ed Sheeran songs for the weekdays.
It's routine at this point how Jisung would enter their house, walk through the living room to hear the most ethereal sound, trip and fall (because what else is he meant to do when an angel is serenading him?), and stop the concert he was enjoying only for him to sprint to Felix’s room and lock the door. Felix only laughs uncontrollably as he watches Jisung’s wide eyes widen further dramatically and his hands grasping at his chest, huffing and puffing.
“You’ve got it bad, dude,” is the only consolation Felix gives every time as he wraps Jisung up into a tight hug. Jisung appreciates the hug but he certainly does not appreciate the slander thrown his way.
With this routine in mind, Jisung decides now’s a better day than any to go visit Felix and watch Howl’s Moving Castle before finals week inevitably holds them by the neck and strangles them. His house is only a street away and the familiarity of walking down this street fills him with fondness. A stray cat ambles towards him, stopping at his feet, and glances up at him. Jisung crouches down with a bright grin, and offers his hand as the cat twitches its nose before peeking its pink tongue out to lick at Jisung’s fingers. He scratches the undersurface of the cat’s chin, its midnight blue fur soft to the touch. The cat dallies off after basking in the pets to Jisung’s dismay but as much as he’d like to stay and pet the cat, he knows Felix is waiting and the earlier they start their Studio Ghibli marathon, the more movies they can fit in before they fall asleep.
The cedar front door greets Jisung and he twists the door handle with practiced ease, the door opening wide to a large living room that’s well used - gaming controllers left on the couch, opened packets of chips left on the coffee table, and Berry perched in the middle of the room on a grey cushion. He doesn't call out for Felix, knowing the other is most likely in his room, ready for Jisung to plop down onto the bed. It doesn't sound like anyone else is home, save for Felix and Berry so Jisung takes his time walking down the hallway to Felix's room.
Oddly, there's no singing this time from the shower, but Jisung doesn't think much of it. Chan is a very busy man and Jisung doesn't expect him to stay home at all times. He keeps walking, a little extra spring in his step now that he knows he won't fall and make a commotion again, but that's not to say he isn't slightly disappointed that he doesn't get to hear Chan's beautiful voice. A door opens from behind Jisung, and he twirls around in his place, eyes widened in equal parts fright and surprise, hands splayed out in front of him.
Oh, fuck.
Here comes a man so beautiful, Jisung forgets to breathe. His eyes are warm and brown, a pool of hot chocolate he wants to gulp down by the mouthful. His nose is endearingly big yet Jisung wants to press the softest kisses and boop his finger on the bulb. Oh, don't get Jisung started on his lips - he could go on for the rest of eternity about how lusciously full, plump and pink they are. This man is equal parts adorable and hot, a deadly combination - Jisung would know, he's immune to Minho and he's known Minho for five years.
Oh no, oh no, oh no . This man is not good for Jisung's health, for sure. He's shirtless, beads of water dripping down from his hair onto his back and his torso. The only thing that is saving Jisung's sanity at the moment is the white towel that's wrapped securely around his waist but even then, that seems to be causing Jisung to short-circuit. The man has such-defined abs, Jisung can see the outline of eight chocolate bars, and broad shoulders that span for days. He's not going to lie, just with this man's eyes and his abs, Jisung's starting to feel a little hungry, and hungry in a couple of different ways.
"Uh, hi?" The man greets sheepishly, his hand reaching back to scratch at his nape.
Alright , Jisung thinks, game's over. His voice is buttery in nature, Jisung thinks he can slide on it and not feel a fraction of friction. Oh wait, he's probably noticed Jisung's been checking him out while he's half naked, oh goodness.
"Hi," Jisung replies meekly, feeling a warmth build in his ears, both from embarrassment and how stunning this man is. "I'm Jisung but, um, you can call me," he pauses a fraction too late for the punchline, "yours?"
Oh no, he messed the timing up. Damn it. He flicks his wrist as a scold to himself when he hears the most elegant and graceful sound. He hears the man let out a soft giggle, and Jisung swears he hears honey and cupcakes and all things sweet. Jisung looks up from beneath his eyelashes and swoons. He needs to do something, he can't just not redeem himself.
He clears his throat. "Oh a scale from zero to ten," he starts off confidently, throwing a smirk in there for good measure. He's about to win this game, fair and square, but fuck , he forgot the punchline. How did it go again ? "I'm the nine you need…?"
Shit, no, that's not how it goes, right?
"Wait, that didn't come out right, uh…" Jisung fumbles, his cheeks burning hotter than a furnace. He needs to run away - it's just flight or flight at this point.
"...Are you trying to flirt with me?" The man asks with a solicitous yet kind smile as a dimple peeks out and makes itself known on his face. Jisung hasn't even written a will yet, he is royally screwed.
Nodding shyly, Jisung replies, "Yeah?" He bows his head in disappointment and slight shame, "I know it's not working, I'm sorry about this."
The other man simply waves him off and grins brightly, his teeth arranged perfectly. It simply is not fair - this man is shaped by the gods, there is no other explanation.
"Nah, don't worry about it, mate. It's cute!" The man runs a hand through his hair to find it's sodding wet, and Jisung's a little concerned as to how even his worried expression is endearing. "Jisung, it's nice to catch you after hearing about you for so long but I have to go dry my hair." Before he turns around, he adds, "Oh, and by the way, Lixie's in his room waiting for you."
Wait, hold on a second, Lixie? Jisung prays to all deities that may exist that he did not just meet Chan. Jisung's best course of action now just may as well be to pack his belongings and book it to Antarctica. The penguins wouldn't tease him about this. He muffles a scream into the palm of his hand, cautious of Chan's presence in the house.
A voice similar to Seungmin's rings in his head, ' It's not like you can embarrass yourself any further in front of him. ' Jisung thinks Seungmin needs to stay in his own damn business.
Jisung all but sprints to Felix's door, a yellow door hanger settled on the handle reading, 'Keep Out Unless You are Chan Jisung'.
Jisung likes to think that the cross over Chan's name is the best thing Felix has ever done for him. He pushes the door open to see Felix seated on the bed, his back resting against the wall with the laptop placed comfortably on his lap and the blankets wrapped around him securely. Felix pops a piece of popcorn into his mouth and hurls another piece across the room to Jisung, who promptly moves to ensure its landing in his mouth.
"He shoots," Felix's deep voice booms through the small room, "and he scores!"
Jisung fights an urge to smile at how adorable Felix's actions were and instead bounds over, places his hands on Felix's shoulders and shakes him vigorously.
"Why, oh why, did you not tell me that Chan was here?" Jisung hisses, his breath sharper with each word. "I thought you loved me."
He stops shaking Felix and slumps against the wall, sitting next to Felix on the bed. "Guess you can't trust anyone these days. It's kill or be killed."
Felix stops in his tracks, his mouth agape and his hand hovering over his lips with a piece of popcorn. Jisung watches carefully as he sees his best friend's eyes turn from having hints of confusion to lakes of mirth.
"He comes and goes when he needs to," Felix's mouth curls up with mischief. "Something happened, didn't it?"
Jisung has to place a lot of effort into keeping his eyes as calm as they can be and schools his expression before he answers Felix.
"I fucked up big time, bro."
God bless Felix's soul. Felix doesn't laugh but instead, his brows furrow and his lips pout as he wraps an arm around Jisung, bringing him closer to him. "What do you mean?"
"He was just so hot, I couldn't function." Jisung pauses, eyes trained on Felix's as he tries to convey the seriousness of the situation. "I tried to use pick-up lines on him but I said the wrong punchlines."
The corners of Felix's mouth are upturned and Jisung can see his eyes crinkling into crescent moons. "What did you say, bro?"
"I said, ' On a scale from zero to ten, I'm the nine you need' and he asked me if I was trying to flirt with him!" Jisung hits the back of his head against the wall before shifting to hide himself in Felix's embrace, as if no one could find him there. "Lix, I can't face him ever again!"
Felix doesn't stop the uncontrollable fit of laughter that spills from his mouth and slaps his own thighs as he laughs. "You," he starts off, catching his breath between each word but giggling the more he stops, "you really said ‘I'm the nine you need’ , oh my God."
Jisung watches on in betrayal as Felix wipes the tears that have spilled onto his cheeks from laughing.
"I've put in a good word for you and I'll continue to promote you," Felix beams. "I'm sure he found that cute. Wait," says Felix, his hands raised up, laptop moved aside in haste. He clambers to find his phone, flipping the sheets and blankets, and grins when he finally finds it. "Let me ask him."
Jisung can see his gravestone clearly. So he does what he thinks of immediately and tries to slap the phone away from Felix's hands. Felix keeps a strong grip on his phone with one hand as he types out a message, his tongue peeking out in concentration. He presses send, and Jisung sees his life pass by instantly. This is it, it's been a good ride so far.
Felix keeps his phone well away from Jisung's handreach and instead brings the laptop closer to them, and presses the spacebar key. "There's no point in stressing out about it, Hannie. He's heard about all the shit we get up to and this isn't half as bad as the time we-"
Jisung cuts Felix off and places his palm over Felix's mouth, "Let's not even mention that. How about we watch some Ghibli instead like we were meant to?"
Felix nods excitedly, his fluffy hair bouncing with each nod.
Less than a minute later, a loud ping cuts through the room and Felix scrambles to read it. His eyes flick through surprise, amusement and finally fondness as he doesn't say a word but shows his lock screen to Jisung.
The lock screen isn't particularly fancy. It's a polaroid of Felix and Jisung, wrapped up tightly in a plaid blanket as they fell asleep together on the couch, their limbs tangled together. It's the notification of a message that stops Jisung right in his tracks.
🐨 bang: he's so adorable!! why were you hiding him from me, pixie?
Jisung glances towards Felix slowly, his eyes swimming with hope. His cheeks and ears flush as he beams. "I didn't fuck up? I get to see him again?"
"Oh, Hannie, you get to do whatever you want," Felix pauses, laying a soft kiss on Jisung's forehead, "as long as it's consensual."
"Fuck off, I'm being serious here, bro," Jisung whines, an arm draped over his forehead as he groans at Felix. "Let me talk to him first without mucking up."
"I think that opportunity might just come quicker than you think," Felix says, his head turning to face the door. "I'm gonna go water the cat. You've got a visitor."
"Water the cat?" Jisung repeats, "You don't even have a cat, Lix! You have a dog! Why the fuck would you water-"
There, lo and behold, leaning against the door frame, rests Chan. His eyes are almost shut, the wrinkles around his eyes tightening, and his dimple emerges as he grins.
"So, Jisung, where did we leave our conversation?"
Jisung is fucked. He prays to all the beings he can think of to keep him alive and sane through the evening. Luckily, he's got great company beside him. He only hopes that Chan keeps thinking of him as adorable after he opens his mouth.
"I'd like it if we left that back there in the hallway?" Jisung says, not meeting Chan's eyes.
"I think you meant to say that I'm the one you need?" Chan asks quietly, grinning when Jisung nods in confirmation. He then points to his own t-shirt, and says, "Have you felt this material before?"
Jisung can almost predict where this is going but gives Chan the benefit of the doubt. He reaches to fiddle with the hem of the simple black t-shirt, "I'm guessing it's not just any old piece of fabric."
"You're right," Chan grins widely, his dimple greatly affecting Jisung’s ability to think. "It's made of boyfriend material." Chan giggles softly as he watches Jisung's face flush darker and his mouth gape. "Are you willing to try it out?"
"Um," Jisung flounders. Did Chan ask him out on a date? He decides to give into Seungmin's voice from earlier and thinks he's got nothing left to lose anyways, throwing all caution to the wind. "As long as there's no refunds."
Chan laughs softly, throwing in a wink for an extra measure, which really does not help Jisung in the least.
"For you? Never."