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Rockin' around the Christmas tree
At the Christmas party hop
Mistletoe hung where you can see
Every couple tries to stop
The voice of Brenda Lee croons between the walls of Sterling’s bedroom. She bobs her head along to the beat, humming the tune from the carpeted floor.
Wrapping paper crinkles upon being folded, tongue poking between her lips as she tries to get it just right. It’s not perfect or anywhere near as flawless as her mother’s crisp angles, but it’s as close as a ten year old can get without any help.
After taping down the last corner she adds the gift to her pile, smiling proudly from her mess of ribbons and bows. Sterling picked out and wrapped all of her presents by herself this year, and she’s now finished with five days to spare.
But the moment is interrupted before she can truly soak it in. “I’m turning this off,” Blair announces, bursting through her door.
“Hey,” Sterling exclaims when the music comes to an abrupt stop, “I was listening to that!”
“And now you’re not.”
Blair says it simply with a smile and a shrug, leaving her sister pouting on the floor.
“That’s not fair.”
“You’ve been blasting the same three songs for the last hour, Sterl. I had enough.”
Noticing how her twin is eyeing the pile of gifts for one with her name on it, Sterling gets a mischievous idea for revenge. “Fine, but I’m not giving you your Nerf gun then.”
“You got me a Nerf gun?”
Sterling’s smile drops when she realizes her mistake. “Damn it,” she whines, having just spoiled her gift to Blair.
This happens every year and it was by far the closest she’s gotten to Christmas without giving something away. Last year it was a video game for Blair on the seventeenth and the year before that it was her mother’s ornament on the twelfth.
“Is it one of those big ones that holds like twenty bullets or a small one?” she questions, while Sterling runs for the door.
“Mom!”
“You know what, doesn’t matter,” she decides, “I’m still gonna shoot you either way.”
“There will be no shooting of your sister,” Debbie warns, appearing in the hallway. Sterling rushes to her mother with tears in her eyes and immediately gets wrapped up in a warm hug. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Blair insists, taking a defensive tone. “She did the gift thing again.”
Sterling buries her face into her mom’s abdomen, muffling her voice as she says, “I’m not giving it to you anyway.”
“Wait, no.” Blair stomps her foot. “I want it.”
“Enough, girls,” her mother groans, now with two kids on the verge of a tantrum. Debbie peels Sterling off of her body to give them each a stern look. Neither of the twins so much as make eye contact. “What happened up here?”
“She wouldn’t let me play my music.”
“I heard that song at least five times. It was annoying.”
Sterling shoots her sister a glare, but before she can say anything else her mother steps in. “I think five is enough for now, but we can come back to it later.”
She wants to argue but the look on Debbie’s face, along with the promise of later warns her not to push her luck. “When I have my own house I’ll play it as much as I want.”
“That sounds great, dear,” Debbie half heartedly agrees, thankful the first fire went out relatively easy. She then points a finger to Blair. “Without peeking at anything, help her bring those gifts down to the tree.”
“Yes ma’am.”
Blair drags her feet into her sister’s room, while Sterling practically bounces behind her. She groans at the pile of gifts.
“Why did you get so many things? We don’t have that many friends.”
“I just got for you, mom, dad, Uncle Deacon, Big Daddy, Mother, Hannah B, April, and Luke.” Sterling lists them off all in one breath, like it’s so simple, pointing to each wrapped gift as she goes.
“Sounds a bit much.”
“There’s nothing excessive about Christmas spirit.”
“I think there is,” Blair disagrees, piling up as many gifts as possible in Sterling’s arms. She then picks up the last box left on the floor, conveniently the one with her name on it. “Plus, why would you want to give someone something if they’re not getting you anything?”
“Who isn’t getting me a gift?”
“Luke, Hannah B, April,” she replies as they head for the stairs. “Probably Uncle Deacon.”
Sterling shakes her head, peering over her wobbly tower of presents with each step. “Luke made me a gift in art class.”
“You peeked?”
“I sit next to him. It hardly counts,” she dismisses. Sterling would never purposely sneak a peek at a gift. He was just so obvious about it that there was no way around it. “I couldn’t not get 1989 for April. We listen to it every time she comes over. And I felt rude leaving out Hannah B.”
“Well I only got for you, mom, and dad.” Blair not so subtly rattles the box in her hands. She smiles, realizing that Sterling got her the big gun. “I like to receive more than I give. It’s all about the ratio.”
“Where’s the fun in that?”
“I get presents. The fun is literally right there.”
Blair places her gift under the tree and starts unloading Sterling’s leaning tower one by one.
“But what about the look on someone’s face when they open it?”
“Hey, if you count that as a gift then I’ll gladly keep yours.”
“No, I’ll take the gift,” Sterling eagerly accepts, placing the last box under the tree. “I just find fun in giving too.”
“You’re really annoying at Christmas.”
“Yeah, I know.”
A firm pat lands on her back before Blair goes walking off, leaving Sterling to stare at their beautifully decorated tree and all of her presents nicely situated underneath. Her pride beams in the form of a wide grin, taking in the scent of pine and peppermint.
It really is the most wonderful time of the year.
_______________________
The Volt whips into one of many empty parking spaces with a loud screech. It’s not a shock that on Christmas Eve the only other car in the Yogurtopia parking lot belongs to Bowser. It’s honestly more surprising that he’s even there on a holiday.
“Let’s make this quick,” Blair says, shutting off the engine. “You know how mom gets if we’re late.”
“Especially to church,” Sterling agrees with a grimace, “and on the holidays no less.”
“Exactly.”
The winter themed painting on the front store window is now fading quite a bit, thanks to Sterling’s premature excitement. She practically begged Bowser to let her decorate the store and he definitely only agreed to shut her up. She went in every day after school for a week to paint and decorate. It was a nice distraction that led to many late nights doing homework, but when she walks in the door and hears Christmas music playing softly over the speakers, Sterling knows it was worth it.
“Bowsie,” Blair calls out, snagging a handful of gummy bears from behind the counter. “We come bearing gifts.”
He looks up from his computer, eyebrows furrowed until they hold up their presents. “Oh, you didn’t have to,” he stammers, clearly very unprepared for the gesture.
“Told you,” Blair huffs, turning to her sister. “And now you’ve ruined my ratio.”
Bowser gestures for them to take a seat. “Sorry, I didn’t know we’d be exchanging or whatever this is.”
“Well you pretty much saved my life,” Sterling reminds him, “so I figured I owed you something.”
She hands him the gift, leaning to the edge of her seat while he opens it up. Despite his usual hard shell, Bowser actually cracks a few smiles over their presents and insists that they each have a free yogurt in return. Sterling considers it a win as does Blair, who claims the yogurt actually counts as a present.
“What do you girls usually do for the holidays?”
“Our festivities actually start tonight,” Sterling says with a peppy smile. “We go to church and do the baking. Then tomorrow we have a lovely Christmas morning—”
“Then Big Daddy and Mother come over to complain that everything sucks,” Blair adds before her sister can get any further.
“Yeah, pretty much.”
Bowser opens his mouth and then pauses momentarily, still thinking of what to say. “That sounds…”
“Awful?”
“Amazing?”
“Sure,” he chuckles, knowing not to choose between the two sides.
They try to get Bowser to share his Christmas traditions, but he doesn’t give them nearly enough information to satisfy. Before Sterling can push for more, Blair notices the time, saving Bowser from their pressing questions and saving them from their mother’s wrath as she definitely would’ve gotten carried away with talk of the holidays.
“No staring tonight,” Blair warns, pointing a stern finger as they step into the cool evening air.
“I don’t stare. I glance”
She narrows her eyes. “You stare hard core and it’s dangerous.”
“Which is why I like to check in.”
“I don’t understand how that even counts as checking in if she doesn’t look back.”
“Ouch,” Sterling mumbles, opening the passenger side door.
Blair notices her sister’s pout. “Sorry. That was a little harsh.” Her moment of empathy only lasts until she’s in the driver's seat and the door is shut behind her. “I meant dangerous for us though. She’s clearly fine.”
“We don’t know that,” Sterling insists. They don’t technically know anything because the girl in question won’t even look at her, let alone talk.
“She’s at church every week and in school every day with the same bitch face I still can’t believe you kissed,” Blair reminds her, shivering at the thought of her twin kissing their long time nemesis. Sterling shivers at the same thought for a much different reason. “We don’t know what she knows and her father is still a violent criminal. I get that you guys had a thing or whatever but if you want to make it to Christmas, don’t get caught drooling over his daughter.”
“I don’t drool!”
Blair doesn’t even believe Sterling’s objection enough to respond. She simply starts the car and is startled by the sudden blast of holiday tunes coming through their speakers. Her hand reflexively moves to shut it off but before she reaches the button, she stops, recognizing the track as Sterling’s favorite and leaving it on for her to enjoy.
_______________________
Following their little relationship, April pretty much pretended Sterling didn’t exist. She wasn’t cold towards her anymore, just kind of indifferent, which was almost worse. She used to catch Sterling staring at her from across a room but then that stopped for quite some time. April didn’t look in her direction long enough to catch anything, if she even looked at all. All the while, Sterling was entirely in the dark about where they stood and what exactly April knew.
However, a few months later, Sterling found herself being caught again.
But it wasn’t until graduation that they willingly spoke for the first time. A simple congratulations and good luck was exchanged, surprisingly at April’s doing, marking the last they saw of each other until November of their freshman year when Sterling decided to return the favor.
Enough time had passed between whatever they were and whatever John Stevens had revealed to his daughter to at least allow for a polite check in at church over Thanksgiving weekend. And despite Blair telling her it was a bad idea, Sterling went for it and it went shockingly well. So well that she’s hoping to have a repeat performance tonight, hopefully with less of a glare from the girl's father.
Sterling is glancing towards the Stevens pew when a sharp elbow lands in her side. “Are you going to pull that stunt again?”
“I think so,” she whispers, causing Blair to roll her eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with wishing someone a merry Christmas.”
“Is that really as far as your intentions go?”
Sterling pauses for a moment. “Yeah,” she answers, but her hesitation has already done its damage. Blair doesn’t believe her and the only reason she doesn’t argue is because Pastor Booth is in the middle of his sermon.
But her question stays on Sterling’s mind long after it’s been asked. She spends the rest of mass struggling to stay focused, fidgeting in her seat, and desperately trying not to stare at the pew adjacent to their’s.
Maybe it isn’t a good idea to reconnect with April even on the slightest of terms. Maybe it is dangerous, potentially for them both. But something always brings Sterling back to this place. It could be guilt, the lack of closure from a blindsided breakup, or unresolved feelings that never quite went away. Regardless of the reason, whenever the other girl is around Sterling always feels drawn to her with a strong desire to make amends, because although she was the one heartbroken on a school bench, April also suffered a betrayal.
By the time Paster Booth wraps things up, Sterling is nervously sweating and stands as if she’s been shot out of a canon.
“Don’t die,” Blair whispers, shoving her into the aisle just as April is stepping out. Luckily, Sterling manages to stop herself just short of crashing into her.
“Sterling,” she inhales sharply. April takes a small step back in surprise, but her uncertainty is brief as she looks Sterling over, noticing the nervous energy and dismissing any possible threat. “How are you?”
“I’m good. Great,” Sterling answers clumsily. God, when did her mouth get so dry? April’s eyebrows furrow and she quickly gets it together, remembering that she had a point. “Just wanted to say merry Christmas.”
“Well that’s sweet.” April smiles, like actually smiles, and tilts her head to the side in the cute way that she used to. “Thank you.”
For a moment Sterling just stares and it’s a second too long before she’s blinking rapidly, shaking off whatever that was to refocus. “How have you been? How’s school?”
“Really good actually,” she says, and Sterling can tell by how relaxed she is that it’s an honest answer. There’s no tension in her shoulders nor a harsh tone to her voice. April is oddly peaceful in a way that’s unlike anything she’s ever seen. “It’s been...refreshing.”
“Oh, I bet.” Sterling glances over to where John Stevens and his wife are waiting, pretending to be in conversation. April’s eyes follow and he looks away before his daughter can catch him. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she adds, eyes still locked on the man that came between them.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
Sterling just looks at her and that’s all April needs.
“Right,” she sighs, pausing for a moment as her gaze drops to the floor. “I’m glad you’re good too.” Her soft tone seems to let on more than she cared to allow, because she quickly regains her composure, “especially since you like putting yourself in danger.”
“Right,” Sterling returns. Now it’s her turn to crumble under an intense stare and awkwardly break away. They’ve never actually talked about her bounty hunting before and she didn’t think they would get that far today. “Sorry about all that.”
As Sterling slowly glances up she notices a shift in April’s demeanor, tensing at the mention of their past.
“I should go,” she decides, ending the conversation before it really even began. April starts to walk away but hesitates after just a few steps. Slowly, she turns back around. “Are you still obsessed with Christmas?”
“Absolutely.”
“Enjoy it then.”
“You too,” she smiles. This time as April starts to walk away again something in Sterling aches for more. “See you at Easter.”
Her voice gets the girl to turn around one more time, half heartedly rolling her eyes with a smile creeping across her lips. “Sure, Sterling.”
With one last wave goodbye April returns to her family, and not even John Stevens sneakily glaring at Sterling can dampen the mood. Not after April remembered her favorite holiday and kind of acknowledged these little church chats as their thing.
_______________________
Christmas morning puts Sterling on another level. Her usual holiday excitement is high, but December twenty-fifth is so off the charts that Blair doesn’t even try to rein her in. She knows better.
Sterling is always the first one awake, feet hitting the floor as soon as her eyes open. By popular demand the family has implemented a rule that states she can’t wake them until after 8:30 and she doesn’t wait a minute longer, because if there is not a chocolate-chip pancake in her stomach or a present in her lap by nine, she might just explode.
Every year her parents let her get carried away. Debbie quietly goes along with things while Anderson actually joins in, arguing that “Christmas brings out the kid in everyone.”
Blair, on the other hand, always starts a bit slow, grumbling about being woken up, but once she eats something and presents are mentioned she gets some momentum, stepping into her role as Sterling’s biggest cheerleader.
“And you only told me about one of my gifts this year,” she commends as Sterling hands her another present. “I’d call that a win.”
Normally she watches the unwrapping process very closely, but her phone vibrates against her thigh and Sterling figures a quick glance wouldn't hurt.
April Stevens
Merry Christmas!!
Sterling Wesley
You too xx
April Stevens
Living up to the magic?
Sterling Wesley
Definitely is now.
She’s well aware that she’s flirting but she really doesn’t care. They’ve been teetering along this line since she texted April in November, talking practically nonstop and occasionally blurring the rules of a new found friendship. While their past and the distance of different colleges makes it complicated, Sterling is a little tired of things going so slow.
“Thanks Sterl.”
She looks up to see a fully opened gift in Blair’s lap. So much for just a quick glance.
“My pleasure.”
Thankfully nobody notices or questions that she’s distracted and once the attention shifts to her parents exchanging, Sterling turns back to her phone.
April Stevens
Glad I could help!
Sterling Wesley
Seeing you would be better but I’ll certainly take it.
April Stevens
You know why I didn’t come back.
Sterling Wesley
Obviously! That’s not what I meant, sorry.
Sterling’s response is quick, trying to fix whatever damage she’d done as fast as possible. She knows that April is sitting by herself in her off campus apartment for the second holiday in a row. After finally coming out a few months ago her parents were, well, exactly as April expected them to be (Sterling still thinks it sucks though).
Nevertheless she didn’t mean to imply that April should’ve come back or that she didn’t understand why April couldn’t.
April Stevens
What did you mean then?
Sterling Wesley
That maybe I could come see you…?
The thirty seconds that it takes for April to respond might just be the longest half minute of Sterling’s short life.
April Stevens
That could be arranged.
Sterling Wesley
Is that an invitation???
If she was a gambling woman, Sterling would absolutely bet that April is rolling her eyes right about now with that little half smile on her face. She shifts to the edge of her seat when the three dots appear, waiting for her answer and —
“Sterling!”
“Huh?”
She looks up to find her family staring at her. “On your phone during gift exchange?” Debbie chastises. “You know the rules about family time.”
“Yes, phones away,” Sterling repeats. She’s heard it a hundred times. “I was just wishing someone a merry Christmas.”
“That would imply only one message. You’ve been texting for the last five minutes.”
Had it really been that long? It takes everything in Sterling not to jump when her phone buzzes again.
“Would this someone have a name that is also a springtime month?”
“Blair!”
“Sterling,” her dad's calm tone interjects, “there’s no need to yell on the day of the Lord's birth.”
“Sorry.”
They go back to opening presents and although Sterling is interested in the double buzz of her phone, she eventually lets herself be distracted and enjoys the festivities. There’s truly nothing like watching her family open up their gifts, or being smothered in a hug from Blair when it’s exactly what she wanted, or nearly making her mother cry with how thoughtful she was.
Sterling pats herself on the back for another successful year of gift giving, but the fun doesn’t stop there. With their grandparents on their way over, the twins head upstairs to change out of their Christmas pajamas and into their company approved clothes.
It isn’t until she’s brushing her teeth side by side with her sister that Sterling remembers to check her phone, and she nearly chokes on her toothpaste.
April Stevens
You pretty much invited yourself, but if you need confirmation that I would love to have you consider this it.
April Stevens
I would love to have you.
After her squeal that turned into a coughing fit subsides, she types a few replies with Blair’s help. Yay was too childish, I can’t wait was deemed overzealous, and I would love for you to have me was called insane. It takes about three to five minutes but eventually they agree on a version of see you then.
“Sane. Normal. Classic.”
Blair assures her that she can be as eager as she wants when she gets there, but in order to keep her invitation she should probably play it cool, and Sterling guesses that she’s right.
But playing it cool is harder than she thought and she finds herself distracted again, this time when she’s supposed to be helping her mother in the kitchen.
Debbie snatches the bowl in front of Sterling with a huff. “Who are you wishing a merry Christmas and why is it taking so long?”
“April,” she admits as heat rushes to her face, blushing her cheeks. “I might go visit her for New Years.”
“We always go to the country club as a family. It’s tradition.”
Sterling sighs, scooting around the counter to stand next to her mom. She stares up at her with a puppy like pout, but the woman is locked in on whipping this batter.
“She’s up at school all alone, celebrating by herself,” Sterling says, purposely trying to tug on her heart strings.
Debbie’s motions slow and she starts to look up from the mixing bowl. “Since when are you even friends?”
“I wouldn’t say friends,” Blair mutters through a mouthful of food that she’s supposed to be preparing, and if looks could kill Sterling would’ve just murdered her sister. “Shit. Did I say that out loud?”
Her reveal has clearly done it’s damage because neither of their parents have a word to say about her language use (on Christmas day no less). They just stare blankly at Sterling, too stunned to even notice, and waiting for an explanation.
“We have,” Sterling pauses to find the right word, “history.” And their eyes stare even wider. “But we’re currently friends.”
“Yeah, they talk all the time.” Blair waves a hand nonchalantly, clearly thinking she’s helping, but she most certainly is not.
Anderson opens his mouth, closes it, and then opens it again. “You and the Stevens girl have a romantic history?” he asks, puzzled.
“We had a very short thing in high school.”
“She was Sterling’s bi awakening.”
“Blair!”
“No, no, no,” Debbie interjects, finally choosing to take Blair’s side at the most inconvenient of times. “Why didn’t we hear about this relationship when it happened?”
“Neither of us were out then and she wanted to keep it that way.”
“So you lied to us?”
“Oh my gosh,” Sterling groans. “It was junior year, so like, years ago, and it literally lasted four days.”
“I did not raise a liar.”
“Mom—”
She stops short, pausing to regain her composure. Clearly there is some animosity growing towards April and their kept secret, and getting defensive isn’t going to make that any better. So instead Sterling takes a deep breath and gets honest.
“Like I said it was a short thing and like Blair said it was my first girl thing. So there was a lot to figure out and clearly April was right to not want to tell her parents, considering she wasn’t welcomed home for the holidays this year.”
The kitchen goes silent with shock. Debbie actually stops her mixing and even Blair’s constant crunching goes quiet.
Anderson breaks the silence. “Well that’s just terrible.”
“Exactly,” Sterling nods, her point more than made. “So lying and history aside, can I please go see my friend for New Years?”
“Of course,” Debbie concedes, too embarrassed for eye contact. “Tell her we said merry Christmas.”
She gladly picks up her phone, holding her head high with a slight edge of arrogance over a parent-approved excuse to be texting with April.
_______________________
Sterling is buzzing with anticipation even more so than usual and this time it has nothing to do with Christmas.
April is on her way to the Wesley’s house.
April, who she hasn’t seen since a short lived Thanksgiving weekend. April, who would be spending her favorite day of the year with her along with the promise of another week. April, her long distance girlfriend who’s off kicking butt at law school, while Sterling sits at home with a bachelor's degree.
She couldn’t calm down even if she wanted to.
After finishing their undergrad they both came back to Atlanta, spending a wonderful summer together. And although she knew the summer was all that they’d have, Sterling still let herself get used to April being right down the hall in the guest room every night and in their kitchen every morning.
But long distance is nothing new to them. They’ve been at it for a few years now and have gotten quite good at making the most of things. However, it doesn’t hold a candle to when they actually have real, in person, time together. So naturally Sterling is off the wall today even more so than usual, according to Blair.
Big Daddy and Mother have already arrived and Sterling is well aware that she should be helping her mom in the kitchen, but here she is hiding out in the foyer, bouncing on her toes while she anxiously waits for a familiar car to appear.
Nobody even bothers to come look for her and scold her for being distracted. They’ve seen all morning just how useless Sterling is when she’s this eager and they’ve given up on expecting anything tangible until April arrives.
And then she does.
Her car turns into their long driveway and Sterling’s heart races with a holy shit it’s happening type of thrill. She’s moving towards the door before the car has even parked, exhibiting zero signs of patience.
Don’t run, she tells herself. Just walk fast.
But her feet are moving quicker as soon as she steps outside into the cool Christmas air.
Just walk fast. Just walk fast. Just walk fast.
Then April gets out of the car and Sterling sees her for the first time, and now she’s running.
She runs until she crashes into her girlfriend, nearly knocking her off balance as she throws her arms around her neck.
“Oh hi,” April laughs, finding her footing and luckily keeping them both upright.
Sterling just nuzzles closer, squeezes tighter, and revels in the feeling of April’s arms wrapping around her waist. She knows she’s emotionally overwhelmed so she takes a deep breath, hoping to calm down, and instead catches her favorite scent.
With every inhale her eyes are starting to fill with tears and finding that scent only gets harder as her nose gets all stuffy.
“Hey,” April says softly at the sound of her first sniffle. She never breaks their hug. She just gently rubs her hand along Sterling’s back. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” Sterling pulls herself together enough to loosen her grip and step back. “I’m just really excited for Christmas.”
They’re both laughing at her obvious lie. Sterling’s is still a little nasally but April’s sounds just like it always does, which is nearly enough to get the tears going all over again.
She holds it back though, feeling a little embarrassed as she wipes at her eyes while April stands perfectly pulled together, leaning up against her car, looking gorgeous as ever.
As if she can sense it, she reaches out for the loose material of Sterling’s shirt. “Come here,” April says, gently tugging her in for a sweet kiss. “I missed you too.”
“You’re not the one crying about it.”
“I’ve always been better at compartmentalizing,” she reminds her, kissing Sterling once more. This time it lingers a bit longer and if it weren’t for the cold breeze, they could’ve stayed right there all day. “Can you help me bring my stuff in?”
“Aye, aye captain.”
Sterling quite literally salutes and April just shakes her head in that half-hearted way she does when she’s trying not to laugh or smile at the dumb thing her girlfriend is doing.
The day goes off without a hitch. Mother only complains about the casserole, which is a huge improvement from holiday’s prior. Last year she took a shot at Sterling’s decorations and Blair nearly threw down on her sisters behalf, but April took care of it with one quick witted response that had half the table choking on their dessert. The two of them have been cool ever since, even exchanging thoughtful gifts this year instead of their usual generic gift cards.
She stays attached to her girlfriend for most of the afternoon. Often holding her hand, kissing her cheek, or putting an arm around her, all in an effort to stay close. Big Daddy only comments about it once but neither of them pay it any mind. Sterling is simply too high on the thrilling combination of the Lord’s birth and April being within a hundred feet of her to care about anything else.
That kind of excitement is eventually exhausting though, and Sterling finds herself flopping into bed earlier than usual.
“Sad it’s over?” April questions as she steps out of the bathroom.
“Not yet, just a little sleepy.”
April slowly approaches, staring down at her feet the whole way over until she takes a seat on the edge of the mattress.
“I have one more present for you,” she says meekly, “I didn’t want to give it to you in front of your family.”
As she glances up, April catches Sterling with her eyes wide. “Get your mind out of the gutter,” she chastises and Sterling has to blink a few times, but she eventually shakes off the millions of ideas her mind and body were running away with.
“Sorry,” she mutters, blushing profusely. “Whenever Blair has a private gift for me it’s usually a vibrator or something.”
“Well I’m not Blair.”
“Would be very weird if you were.”
April reaches into her bag and pulls out a little box covered in snowflake wrapping paper. She slides it across the bed, where there’s at least a good foot of space between them, and when it lands in Sterling’s hands she strategically looks away.
Sterling absentmindedly peels off the snowflakes, trying to keep her eyes on April and add it all up as the girl in front of her is uncharacteristically reserved.
It isn’t until the wrapping is completely gone that she shifts her gaze back to the box and pops it open.
“It’s a...key,” Sterling thinks out loud, a little confused. She catches April’s eye before it quickly reverts back to the bed and it finally dawns on her. “Is this for your apartment?”
“Ours. If you want.”
Now April looks up and suddenly the nerves are making a whole lot of sense. And maybe it’s just because she’s tired or that she’s been off the walls all day, but Sterling is so caught off guard that she doesn’t even say anything. That springs April into action.
“I miss you. A lot,” she admits, scooting in closer and taking Sterling’s hand. “I know this is super cheesy, like something you would totally do, and it’s obviously a big decision that needs to be a conversation, but I just wanted to put it out there in person.” She pauses to take a breath before saying with such a sense of maturity, “Even if you say no you can still keep it to visit whenever you want.”
Sterling stares blankly for a moment, processing the gift she thought was going to be something entirely different. It takes a second for her mind to catch up.
“We’re just gonna gloss over where you called me cheesy,” Sterling decides, cracking a nervous laugh. She finally takes her eyes off the key and meets April’s timid gaze. “Let’s have the conversation. Convince me.”
And now it’s April’s turn to be surprised. She shifts back, nose crinkled. Her eyes narrow as she tries to get a read, like Sterling couldn’t possibly be serious.
“Come on,” she scoffs. “Do you really expect me to believe that you came here with a proposition and didn’t have an argument prepared?”
“No, I have one.”
“Well let’s hear it, Stevens.”
April seamlessly makes the shift from girlfriend with a romantic gesture to debate captain with an argument, and Sterling pretends it doesn’t excite her. She sits up straighter, head held high and shoulders back, radiating a familiar confidence.
“You literally cried when you saw me today. And don’t even get me started on how you clearly waited by the door, watching out the window, and then ran down the driveway.” April breaks eye contact as her voice softens just a bit at the end, likely at the memory of their crushing reunion hug. “Kind of embarrassing for you,” she adds a little sharper than she was a moment ago.
“Ouch.”
“I’m just saying you obviously missed me,” she shrugs, “which you wouldn’t if we lived together.”
“Oh I still would,” Sterling returns, fully leaning into the embarrassing consuming love that April set her up to argue. If she wants to make her out to be clingy and emotional then Sterling could be exactly that. “You’re very busy with school and clearly I can’t control myself. Wouldn’t that just be a distraction?”
“I don’t get distracted.”
“So my spring break senior year when you still had school and I came to visit,” Sterling starts, holding back a smile as April’s face immediately changes, “you didn’t forget to set your alarm and ruin your perfect attendance?”
“A simple mistake. Nothing to do with you.”
“You don’t make simple mistakes,” Sterling reminds her, remembering how she had arrived at April's apartment late the night before and that their reunion lasted into the early morning before they both knocked out.
“Well if I was distracted,” she says slowly, still planning her counterattack, “it was only because it had been a while. If you were there everyday that wouldn’t have happened.”
“That’s just speculation. No point.”
“Fine,” April exhales through a clenched jaw. “You’re up.”
“If I move to you, I’ll be unemployed.”
“You’re already unemployed.”
“Not true. I work for Bowser.”
“I’m sure you can find another job serving yogurt.”
“You know that’s not all I do. The bulk of my income is from bounty hunting.”
And that’s where April starts to break. She expected this to be an easy sweep, starting with how needy Sterling can be, and now she is actually having her arguments knocked down a peg. Sterling is seriously debating her, not just going through the motions, and she’s nervous.
The fact that this isn’t a slam dunk win has her running through her arguments much faster than usual and Sterling certainly knows she’s desperate when she starts to actually ramble.
“The job market is really good in the city. Better than it is here. You were a straight A student, who graduated with honors and I know your resume is good, since I looked it over myself. You’re annoyingly charming, so qualifications aside you’d have no trouble in an interview. I know it’ll take time but I’ve been covering rent by myself for a while now, so I can handle any expenses until you find something.”
“April—”
“I have more.”
“I don’t care.” Sterling smiles, putting her hands on either side of the other girl’s flushed face. “I was never going to say no.”
“Really?”
She nods. “Debate just gets you all hot and confident.”
The realization that she got all worked up for nothing plays out on April’s face, stammering to come up with a biting response, and settling for a deflated “you suck.”
“I know,” Sterling shrugs. “Now come kiss me, roomie.”
April doesn’t even bother doing the thing where she tries not to smile. She doesn’t roll her eyes or say that she hates being called roomie (although she definitely does). She just kisses her and the feeling that Sterling gets is all that she needs to confirm that this was the right decision.
As April starts to lean away, Sterling pulls her back in for more, letting her head hit the pillows and dragging April down with her.
“I’m supposed to be in the guest room,” she mutters against Sterling’s lips. It’s a weakly stated annoying reminder that they’re both likely to push aside.
“Five minutes?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Their five minutes come and go without anyone bothering to check on them but April doesn’t want to push their luck and chance scaring Blair, or worse one of her parents. So Sterling settles for a good cuddle and the promise of April laying with her until she falls asleep. However, she’s pretty certain her heart is beating too fast for that to happen anytime soon and April can likely hear it through her chest.
“I can’t believe you beat me in gift giving,” Sterling laughs, running a hand through April’s hair. “It’s like the one thing I’m good at.”
“Not true.” She shakes her head, nuzzling in a bit closer. “And to be fair you told me what you got me three days ago, so the element of surprise was gone.”
“You faked it really well though. My family genuinely thinks I grew out of that.”
April’s body rumbles against hers with a chuckle. Sterling may have gotten a handle on her excitement over Blair’s gifts, but she hasn’t quite conquered that in regards to her girlfriend. In fact she’s consistently spoiled at least one of her presents to April for the last three years, and being that this one was so late in the game she didn’t have time to get her something else.
“When do you want to tell them about our plan?”
Sterling takes a sharp inhale at the thought. It hadn’t quite crossed her mind in the rush of saying yes.
“Is it weird that I’m more afraid to tell them that I’m moving than I was to come out?”
“No. It just means they love you a lot.”
“Well I love you a lot,” she returns cheerfully. But then her eyebrows furrow and Sterling pauses, glancing down at a smiling April. “Okay, I see your point about being cheesy.”
They end up deciding to tell her family together the next day, letting Christmas just be Christmas (at Sterling's request). Her nerves of the impending reveal slip further away as every breath she takes is filled with the scent of April’s hair and perfume. The thought of a night like this being a regular thing and not ending when one slips off to a guest room, is more than enough to push any fears about leaving the house she grew up in far, far away.
_______________________
Sterling has been ready for Christmas ever since they got home from their usual Thanksgiving weekend at the Wesley’s. Granted she’s always in the holiday spirit, something about having her own place has really sent her over the edge, because this year she’s festive on steroids.
April has to talk her down a few times, reminding her that this is a chance for them to make their own traditions and not just recycle what they do every year with her family. It’s puzzling for a moment as she never really thought of it that way.
“Is there anything you want to try that never fit into your mom’s plans?”
The question is enough to get the ball rolling and soon Sterling has a hundred ideas. Her first request? Mistletoe. And she very quickly gets carried away.
You’ve heard of elf on a shelf, well this is mistletoe on the go! Everyday Sterling moves it and everyday April ends up underneath without seeing it coming. Now whenever Sterling says, “hey, look up,” April doesn’t even bother. She just rolls her eyes, kisses her, and goes on with whatever she’s doing.
Decorating is where they have their first disagreement. April and her many years of planning have a certain aesthetic in mind that Sterling thinks is a bit stiff (her exact word choice is snooze fest but that doesn’t go over very well).
“White lights are classic.”
“My family has white lights on their tree back home. Shouldn’t we be doing something different and new?”
She’s shocked to come home from work one night to find out that argument actually worked and they have a multicolored Christmas tree in their apartment. Sterling doesn’t gloat, or tease, or say a word about it at all. She just helps with hanging the ornaments and tells April how great everything looks.
Their weekends are usually overrun with some sort of baking experiment, which April actually loves. Sterling searches for new, challenging recipes and she takes the lead on bringing it to life. They even go as far as making their own gingerbread house from scratch. It’s a messy affair that takes almost as long to clean up as it did to make, and just as they finish Sterling realizes they should’ve attempted a Solomon’s Temple for “old times sake.”
“There’s always next year.”
Even after hours of streaming Christmas music, countless movie nights, loading their place with decorations, and eating their weight in baked goods, Sterling is still just as thrilled when the actual day comes.
She wakes up in the morning with April asleep beside her instead of down the hall in a guest room or nowhere near her at all. Of all the new traditions they’ve experienced this year, Sterling thinks this might be her favorite. She tries to enjoy the moment, because it really is wonderful. She even snuggles in closer at one point. But with no shot of getting back to sleep, Sterling feels too restless to just lay there.
They didn’t set up a rule for how early the festivities can start and right now, while a little uncertain, she wishes they did. Especially as she attempts to slip out from under her girlfriend’s arm and April starts to stir.
“Are we getting up already?”
“No, you stay,” she whispers, watching eyes flutter shut under her gentle caress. When there is no argument or sudden movement from April, Sterling shifts again but she doesn’t make it very far.
“Sterl.”
“What babe?”
“Merry Christmas.”
It’s sleepily muttered into a pillow and her eyes are still shut, but Sterling’s heart soars so much she has to remind herself to relax. She settles for a simple forehead kiss when really she could cry or squeal, because April always remembers. Whether it’s at church after years of not speaking, over text after just reconnecting, or half asleep in their shared bed, she always says it.
Sterling holds herself together long enough to slip out of the bedroom and start on breakfast, needing something to keep her energy occupied. She sends a group text to her family promising to facetime them later and softly puts on her playlist of favorite holiday songs with no one around to complain about her choices or how often the songs repeat.
Coffee is brewing and pancakes are just about done when April comes moseying into the kitchen. “Where is it?” she grumbles, rubbing her eyes.
“Where is what?”
“The mistletoe.”
Sterling pauses to think and the realization dawns on her that she totally forgot to move it, so caught up in the holiday morning rush that it actually slipped her mind.
“Same place as yesterday.”
“Well remind me to stumble under it later,” she says, running a hand up her back and kissing her cheek.
“I told my family we would facetime them later.”
“That won’t take all day though. It still leaves me time to kiss you.”
“True,” she agrees. “And Blair says thank you for the pie. She ate half of it last night.”
“Of course she did,” April chuckles. “I’m just glad it shipped in one piece.”
“She would’ve eaten it regardless.”
April leans against the counter, warming her hands on a hot coffee mug and studying Sterling with a close look. “I’m shocked you want to do breakfast before presents.”
“I never said that,” Sterling answers abruptly, “I just needed something to keep me busy while you slept.”
So their pancakes get cold and they end up by the tree, sitting on the floor for some reason while exchanging their gifts. Even without an audience April still acts surprised when she opens something she already knew about. But this year Sterling doesn’t care, because she actually managed to keep her big idea to herself.
By the time they finish opening everything, she’s buzzing with excitement. April goes to get up, thinking that they’re through, when Sterling reaches out for her hand. “I have one more,” she says, lightly tugging her back. “Couldn’t quite wrap it.”
“Okay.”
Her voice rounds up in a questioning tone, eyebrows furrowed as she situates herself on the floor in front of Sterling.
With her heart racing in her chest, she looks away from April and focuses on their hands instead.
“Tomorrow you and I are going to the shelter and you’re gonna pick out a cat, because you’ve been saying for a couple years now that you miss Bilko.”
April hasn’t seen him since she last saw her parents and she’s regretted not taking him with her when she cleared out her stuff. It’s been killing Sterling not to say anything but she wanted to pull off a big gesture, especially since she got out gifted last year.
“And I know we’ve discussed that I’m more of a dog person and you only really like them when they’re sleeping, but I’ve had cats before and I’m really okay with it.”
“Are you serious?”
“Like a heart attack,” Sterling nods, noticing the rapid beat in her chest, “which I seriously might have if you don’t say something.”
April still doesn’t speak but she does kiss her, which eases every nerve in Sterling’s body. And the smile she feels growing on April's face certainly hints at what’s on her mind.
“I love you,” she says finally, kissing her once more. “Thank you.”
Their family facetime is a little chaotic to say the least. Luckily they squeeze it in before Big Daddy and Mother arrive, because that would’ve been a whole different type of disaster.
Debbie is stressed in the kitchen but still has a hundred questions about what they’re going to eat later, wanting to make sure “her girls” are well fed for the holidays. April explains all of their plans as Sterling is just there to offer any assistance and eat whatever ends up on her plate.
Anderson doesn’t know how to reverse the camera while on call and holds the phone backwards to show them that he got their present. It doesn’t actually make it anywhere near the shot, but Sterling pretends it does and wraps that up real quick.
He then gives the phone to Chloe, which is where April lets out a sigh and puts her head on Sterling’s shoulder.
“I love your parents but they are not good with technology,” she whispers, tense with an overwhelming need to fix this but Chloe isn’t exactly helpful on the other end.
After about a minute of watching the dog sleep Blair stumbles upon the phone, finally getting her turn. “This little experiment is cool and all, but you’re not really planning to do this every year, right?”
She lets April take the question. “You’ll be the first to know when we decide.”
That satisfies Blair, who moves on to discuss all the presents she got this year, including asking for their advice on one she received from a certain someone that she didn’t have a gift for.
“I thought you were all about your ratio?”
“Well maybe I don’t want to mess this up.”
Sterling and April are surprisingly an impressive team when it comes to giving Blair advice. Sterling’s fun-loving optimism balances with April’s logical suggestions in a way that actually makes sense to her twin, and occasionally keeps her out of trouble. It’s a dynamic she’s not quite used to yet because Sterling gets this bubbly feeling every time it happens.
For a moment the tables turn and April’s excitement takes over. They end up on the shelter website looking at all the adoptable kittens to “scout out their options.” It’s no surprise that she’s doing her research and Sterling knows to just let her do her thing. So she eats about half the gingerbread house while praising the pictures April shows her, feeling incredibly proud of their little Christmas so far. It makes for a much more relaxing holiday afternoon than she’s used to, but then April pulls her under the mistletoe for a little more than a quick kiss, revving things up quite a bit.
Eventually they make their way back into the kitchen to start dinner and April makes a lovely home cooked meal, while Sterling cracks open the new bottle of wine she picked out for this very occasion.
It’s sweet, and romantic, and nice to have a day off to celebrate with one another, uninterrupted.
Or mostly uninterrupted.
They’re through with dinner and the bottle, settled on the couch when Blair sends a series texts.
Blair Wesley
Being the only kid (?) or young adult (?) here is ROUGH.
Blair Wesley
Like they’re still picking at my outfit choices, while also wondering why I haven’t settled down yet, while also not seriously letting me join the politics talk.
Blair Wesley
Shocking development: I think I even miss April.
Sterling laughs at the third buzz, turning her phone to where her girlfriend can see.
“I’m honored,” April smiles, only slightly sarcastic.
She types a quick yikes back to her sister before tossing the phone aside and wrapping her arms around the body cuddled on top of hers.
“You had a good day?”
“Yeah.”
“I know it was different.”
There’s a slight insecurity to April’s voice, fearing that the big changes to Sterling’s favorite day might have ruined or tainted it in any way.
“It was perfect,” she assures her, kissing the girl’s forehead. “Somehow I think I like Christmas even more now.”
April snuggles in closer, holding her a little tighter as Sterling’s short playlist reaches its end once again and a familiar song comes to a close in the background.
Rockin' around the Christmas tree
Have a happy holiday
Everyone's dancing merrily
In the new old fashioned way