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It's been 3 years since Kiyoomi and Atsumu
broke up. It's been years since he last saw Atsumu's face. Kiyoomi just felt so regretful ever since. Maybe it would've been better if he stayed with the team.
Snow fell heavily as Kiyoomi glanced outside the window. Shivering, he went to his room and opened his closet.
He smiled softly. Atsumu's shirts were still inside, piled up in the corner. He could never bring himself to dispose all of the things Atsumu left in the apartment. They just...belonged there? Yes. The place would never be the same without them.
His slender hands reluctantly reached out to grab one. He missed Atsumu so bad. He heaved a deep breath, retracted his hand and just grabbed his old MSBY jersey. Wow, Kiyoomi really misses the team.
9 pm, Kiyoomi just got out of the shower when his phone's ringing vibrated through the room. It was an unknown number. He answers it immediately, thinking it was one of Motoya's prank calls again.
"Motoya, I swear to God I am gonna fucking--"
"...Uh, Omi-kun?..."
Kiyoomi felt his body stiffen. It was Miya Fucking Atsumu!
"Miya..."
Atsumu chuckled. Kiyoomi felt like crying. "So, how have ya been?"
These past few years have been hell. I missed you so bad, bastard!
"...Well, still okay, I guess..."
He could imagine Atsumu grinning. "That's good. Are ya free right now?"
Excuse me, what?
Despite the panic, Kiyoomi managed to let out a scowl. "It's 9 pm, bastard. I'm tired and I need to sleep. This can wait 'til tomorrow, right?"
Atsumu sighed. "Gotta go back tomorrow. This night's the only time that I'm free."
"....Fine. Where are you?"
"Ya never change, Omi-kun.."
Eyebrows creased, Kiyoomi replies. "The fuck does that mean?"
"Still can't say no to this pretty setter over here." Atsumu's adorable smile was the only damn thing that's in his mind.
♡✿
Kiyoomi arrives at the location they're supposed to meet and sees an Atsumu sitting in a bench, looking effortlessly gorgeous. He jogs over and sits beside him.
"So? What do you want from me?"
How have you been? Did you miss me? I missed you so bad. Fuck, it hurts.
Atsumu grabs something from his pocket. Kiyoomi wondered what that was.
"...Here ya go. Open it."
Kiyoomi grabbed the small, pretty looking envelope. It was decorated. Must be pretty important. Upon opening the envelope, Atsumu muttered words that had Kiyoomi's knees weak.
"...Omi-kun, I'm getting married.."
Did Kiyoomi hear that right? Atsumu was getting married?
Kiyoomi glanced at Atsumu. He looked happy. He looked so happy, it hurt.
Despite his shaking hands, Kiyoomi still proceeded with opening the envelope.
'You're cordially invited to the wedding ceremony of Miya Atsumu and Hinata Shoyo'
Kiyoomi, still pathetically in love with Atsumu, got himself hurt all over again.
Kiyoomi, closed his eyes and smiled genuinely. "Congratulations, Miya. Better take good care of Shoyou, you know he's got a lot of people wrapped around his finger"
Atsumu went dead silent. Maybe it was because this reaction was something that he never expected.
The atmosphere suddenly felt heavy. Atsumu chuckles, an attempt to lighten the mood.
"You're not gonna ask how I proposed to him?"
Bullshit. Why would he ask that?
"Hmm. How did you propose to him? Was it in Paris? Under the tower?"
Atsumu nodded, a small smile playing at his lips. "Had my proposal in Paris. Always been my dream to propose and kiss my lover under the Eiffel tower."
Kiyoomi chuckled, remembering that Atsumu promised him the same thing.
"Omi-kun, better ready yerself! Gonna prepare the best proposal for ya! In Paris! 'Cause, y'know? Under the tower?"
Kiyoomi deadpans "Paris? That's pretty common, no?"
"Omi-kun!! It's my dream! Support me, will ya?"
Kiyoomi rolls his eyes and chuckles still. He holds Atsumu's cheeks and places a soft kiss at the tip of his nose. "Are you sure that you're willing to spend your life with me? I can be pretty mean, you know?"
Atsumu hugs him tight. "Omi-kun! We've been dating for years! I'm used to your cruelty!"
"Shut the fuck up, Miya."
Memories can be pretty sad sometimes, huh.
"Ironic. I remember you telling me that you would give me the grandest proposal, same place, Paris, under the tower." Kiyoomi had said, chuckling.
Atsumu took a good look at Kiyoomi. He was chuckling. It felt so forced.
"Hey, Omi-kun. Have you ever wondered about what would've happened if we didn't break up?"
Kiyoomi glanced up the sky, gripping his scarf ever so tightly. "If we didn't break up, we'll probably just be the same. We'd have night cuddles, lots of sex, go on dates," Kiyoomi paused. "If we didn't break up, I'd be the one wearing the ring that you gave Hinata. I'll be crying too. We'd probably cry together."
Atsumu chuckles "I'd cry harder than you, though!"
Omi bit back a laugh. "Idiot, of course you would!"
Omi was barely hanging, he wanted to cry so bad but he didn't want to feel pathetic anymore. He chuckled and laughed, 'cause this'll be the last time.
Atsumu's chest was clenching painfully. He was hiding it too. Omi's smile hid the pain but Atsumu knew him too well.
"Hey, Omi. Are ya okay?"
I am not fucking okay, Atsumu! My heart feels like shit and I am at my limit. I wanna fucking cry. It hurts so much.
Kiyoomi smiles again. "Huh? Of course, I'm okay. Really. I'm happy for the both of you."
Omi's hands were starting to shake. "It's getting late, Miya. Are you sure Hinata's not looking for you?"
He wants to go home. He can't take this anymore.
As if on cue, Atsumu's phone began to ring. Omi took a peek and it really was Hinata.
Omi smiles yet again. "So, I'll be going to your wedding then. I'll prepare some gifts too."
Atsumu hesitates to answer the call. "Omi-ku---"
"Hey, it's fine. I promise I'll attend the wedding. I'm gonna bring Motoya too, that okay?"
Atsumu's heart was throbbing painfully. Why was it this painful? Why did he have to do this?
Omi stands up, hides his shaking hands and greets Atsumu yet again.
"Congratulations. Really, I am happy for you. Don't forget to send my regards to Hinata."
Omi took a good look at Atsumu's face. Atsumu's eyes turned mellow. He offered a hug. Kiyoomi declined and walked away as fast as he could, tears were already falling.
Atsumu grabbed his wrist and forcibly wrapped his arms around him.
"Answer me honestly, Sakusa."
Sakusa. He called him Sakusa.
"...Are you still in love with me?" Atsumu had asked. He noticed but he kept denying it. He was getting married. It was wrong to cling to someone else. It was time to free Kiyoomi from the pain.
Kiyoomi bit back a hiccup. "No.."
"Sakusa! Fuck, please be honest!"
Sakusa tightened his grip on Atsumu's jacket. "Fuck you. I tried so hard to forget. I fucking did everything. I hooked up with Ushiwaka. Fuck you for everything that I have been through. Fuck you for fucking up my life. I hate you so much, bastard!"
Kiyoomi pushed him away. "Me still in love with you will not change anything, Miya. You're getting married and I'm happy for you. End of story. Now just stop and let me go home."
Atsumu never felt this frustrated before. His feelings just got fucked. He's not sure anymore. He wanted to cry too.
Kiyoomi was never this vulnerable. Atsumu coming into his life changed everything. He was ecstatic back then, feeling as if Atsumu was the only person he needed.
"I congratulated you, already...it felt like shit but you were so happy. I could take it. At least that's what I thought.." Kiyoomi closed his eyes, Atsumu's warmth engulfing his body.
Kiyoomi had never cried this hard. Breathing was suddenly so difficult.
"Please let me go...You're fucking me up, Miya. Let me go. I'll heal. I'll get better."
They fought a lot back then but he never saw Kiyoomi this fragile. A glass on the verge of breaking. Maybe he already was broken, loving someone ever so painfully.
"Sakusa, you're fucking me up, too! I'm getting married and yet, seeing you like this just drives me crazy. Do you want me to cancel the wedding? I can do that, fuck, I--"
Kiyoomi squirmed away from the embrace. Eyes red and teary, he smiled.
"Don't."
Atsumu clenches his fist and sighs. "I never should've told you to come here. I just..felt like I had to invite you, since you were once an important part of my life."
Kiyoomi takes a step away from Atsumu. "To be honest, I always hoped that someday we'd get back together, go to Paris, get engaged, married, grow old together." Kiyoomi paused, ".....but yeah, that's not happening anymore."
Kiyoomi bites his lip. "Since we're ending this once and for all, can I request something?"
He didn't wait for answers. "Please be happy. Free yourself from me. I'll be fine. You're entering a new chapter of your life."
It was 10pm. They had conversations for about an hour. Kiyoomi felt relieved. The mood was slowly getting lighter. It was now time to say goodbye.
Hands firmly gripping his scarf, Kiyoomi says, "Goodbye, Miya."
Atsumu looks away, hands in pockets, "Goodbye, Kiyoomi."
Kiyoomi walked away, it hurt but he felt relieved. He had cut his attachment to Atsumu. He now had a reason not to cling to him anymore.
Atsumu stood still, at the same spot, and just gave up thinking. Seeing Kiyoomi's figure slowly slipping away from his view, he told himself, "If you stayed just a bit longer, I might've actually abandoned everything, just to stay by your side..."
Atsumu sat back and nearly punched himself. Fuck, what was he thinking? Cancel the marriage? For his ex? For Sakusa Kiyoomi? This was too stupid.
"I have Shoyou now. I love him. I can't do this to him. He deserves the best," Atsumu mutters under his breath, still sitting at the bench.
He glanced up the sky, eyes starting to blur. "What the fuck is this? Why am I crying?"
It was then he had realized, his feelings for Kiyoomi never faltered. Regrets. He was regretting everything. He should've chosen Kiyoomi from the start. Kiyoomi had always been the option.
But it was too late. He was years too late. Atsumu's laughter was coated with bitterness. Only then had he realized, Sakusa Kiyoomi still had him wrapped around his finger. It was sad, painful, funny.
For the last time, Atsumu had whispered,
"Goodbye, Omi-kun..."