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The first thing that Fen notices is that they’re in so much pain. Their head feels like it’s going to explode at any moment, they feel like they’re being stabbed repeatedly in the back with a very long knife, their shoulder hurts more than normal, and they can’t feel much below the waist. The second thing Fen notices is that someone probably did a really bad job trying to horribly murder and dismember them, if the fact that they’re still alive is any indication. The third is that they’re still tired, even though they just woke up.
In that moment, Fen hated that stupid clown with their entire soul.
They still have one of their arms, at least. Fen hoisted themself up to get a good look around. Pale, fluorescent yellow light shone down over the area, and it was worsening their headache. The place was mostly empty, with the exception of bits of cloth, twisted metal, and bolts scattered around. Looking down, Fen noted the pile of more twisted metal (Oooh, is that a grenade launcher in there?) and also what appeared to be corpses that they’re currently lying on. While utterly horrifying, Fen couldn’t help but feel that, at the very least, it was incredibly convenient for them that they weren’t going to have to move a great distance to try and find their missing limbs.
There was another semi-intact corpse right next to Fen. A greenish robot with thick forearms dotted with pretty LEDs— and definitely dead, If Fen were to guess from the fact that the poor dude’s side was open and leaking bits and bobs all over the place. Or the missing head. At the very least, Fen thought this guy’s arms would be of more use to the living in this moment, and yanked off the arm nearest to them. Luckily for Fen, they’re pretty sure that injured Steambots tend to fall apart at the joints, which makes things much easier for them. What doesn’t is that Fen grabbed the arm from the wrong side, as they realized when they tried to attach it. They cursed internally, and reached over, before realizing it would probably be easier to just flip the body over and repeat the removal process. At least the arm fit.
Throughout the remaining process of reconstructing their own body, Fen continuously got sidetracked or confused, with one usually leading into the other. Various bits and bobs caught their attention, and they got distracted trying to see if they could make their arm shoot lasers so many times that they eventually just stopped trying to stop themself. This is also what Fen is currently doing. They’ve got most of the actual weapon created, but it needs a power source. Mainly, Vectron tech, which is currently not available outside of their own body. Of course, they do have actual components for this sort of thing within their body; they’re the kind of person who won’t cooperate with any sort of body if it can’t shoot lasers, so they’re not in as tight of a spot as it first feels.
Fen is very delicate as they open their chest cavity, and watches as a bit of conductive liquid spills out. Hm. Thats… Bad. Despite all the fogginess in their mind, they remember very clearly that something like that usually doesn’t happen when they open their chest for normal stuff, which means they’re probably bleeding. That explains the pain, at least. But with the rational part of their mind currently being incredibly dysfunctional, Fen starts feeling around for their excess power storage anyway. It doesn’t actually take that long compared to anything else they’ve been doing, but finding it *does* give Fen a big indicator as to what the main problem they’re dealing with is. Their power core seems to be missing. Which is, by their measure, probably not good. So instead of continuing to mess around to make a pretty sick weapon, their priorities switch to setting up a sort of “backup generator”. It isn’t actually too hard, they just use the excess energy stored for aggressive purposes. (Though they are very disappointed they’ll have to wait before they can use their laser gun thing.)
Once the general panic of “Oh god I’m missing a vital component” wore off, Fen instead felt the paranoia of the limited time they have left and how it’s wasted every second they stay conscious. On the bright side, the only other pressing matter they currently have is getting out of the scrapheap, and that’s probably best left for later. Miserably, they flop back over where they were laying before, and settle in to rest, hoping that they can at least recover a bit of energy while they’re at it.
---
Fen woke up confused, cold, and bothered by a dull pain in their chest. They panicked for a moment, trying to summon any memories of how they got here. Which… Wasn’t what they found, per-se, but they did at least remember the last… Day? Few hours? They aren’t sure, but there aren’t any clocks around to help them.
They try to stretch. The pain isn’t as bad as last time, but now the cold is pressing in, and it’s making their limbs a bit numb, especially around the loose joints. They stand, and it’s awkward, and they have trouble balancing. Their damaged leg feels strange to stand on, and the replacement doesn’t seem to fit the joints properly.
Glancing at the weird hoard pile they wound up making, they see only various bits of metal in pretty colors or interesting shapes. Dang. What a waste. They shake their head, and try not to immediately fiddle with the bits & bobs they’ve collected. No distractions! Goals only! They tap their “face” to mentally prepare themself, then start digging around for anything warm.
Unfortunately, any and all Steambot generators are entirely useless without a flow of steam through them, and Fen is pretty sure that trying to get a steam flow in their already messed up body will just kill them. There’s some nice hats, but most of them have a few too many bullet holes to actually function for any sort of warmth. Also, most of them don’t fit Fen’s antennae underneath properly. There’s bits of cloth lying around too: bandannas that don’t fit their neck, vague bolts of currently useless cloth, and what must’ve been sails or blankets, judging by their size. They reach out for one of the massive scraps, and examine it. It’s a deep shade of red, and was likely cut into strips based on how thin it is compared to its length. They rub it with their fingers. It’s a bit rough, especially around its tattered edges, yet they can’t help but find it the perfect amount of soft.
It reminds them of Dot, and that’s the most comforting thing that could possibly have right now. So why do they feel a new, strange panging in their chest?
They wrap it around their shoulders, then head back to where they’d rested at the start. They also immediately trip over the lengths of cloth that still hang on the ground, but they can’t be bothered to care right now. They collapse dramatically for the second time in that minute once they arrive at their destination, intentionally this time. They curl inwards, and wrap the loose cloth over any parts of their body still exposed.
They’re still so cold, yet they feel so much warmer already.
---
Fen didn’t really feel awake, but they couldn’t sleep properly when a weird clanking kept echoing through the container. Everything still feels a bit dreamlike, and they’re cozy, and wish Dot would walk a bit lighter, because they’re trying to sleep.
Where’s she going…?
... Where...
...Oh.
They curl inward more. They want to stop thinking, because thinking is only making their heart hurt, and they hope that their brain can tune out the clanking soon.
---
Fen woke up confused for the third time, and once things started making sense again, they felt incredibly stupid. The feeling only grew more intense when they immediately found themself tangled up in their blanket, which they proceeded to throw down in front of them in frustration, then feel even dumber when the cold hit them like a bullet.
They gathered up the cloth in their arms, (Cog, there’s so much cloth!) and try to figure out what to do with it this time. It’s the perfect shape to be a horrible blanket, unfortunately. Yet… They don’t feel right just getting a new one. Why..? OH. Right. They sigh quietly. The stupid cloth has no right being just a bit too close to Dorothy for them to leave it.
*Dot… She… Had something like this..?* They’re having trouble remembering what anything besides her face and furnace look like, But they swear she had some sort of cloth on her body. They need more time, and they decide to go over what she looks like in their head in the hopes the image they need will come back.
Her face is… Blue..? But her eyes are stark pink, and one of them looks kind of blue on the inside. Or is it green..? They smack themself. Who cares what color her eyes are? They try to refocus. She has red on her head… And two little red… Limbs? Appendages? Behind her head. She’s got those goggles… And… There’s something wider around her neck- Oh! They do a little fist-pump. That’s what she did with that cloth! There was some behind her back too, wasn’t there?
Fen wrapped the cloth around their neck a few times, and before long there was heavy cloth around their neck that was so heavily layered that it kept trying to fall apart, and even then it was still only barely off the ground when they stood to their full height. They sigh, and try again, trying to wrap it around a few other parts. It just feels awkward and unsteady on their normal arm, and the bulbs on their new arm just get in the way and make it keep trying to fall off. They give up when their attempts throw off the bottom light, and it really stings. The cloth won’t even try to hold if it can’t lean on their shoulders, but eventually their head winds up working fine as long as they weave around their antennae. It’s still heavy and thickly layered around their chest, but it’s at least holding properly. Warmer, too.
They don’t really know why they got up anyway, but at least they’re warmer than last time. They also remember that being awake too long might just straight up kill them at this point, and decide that they might as well not be awake.
---
Fen’s dreams are strange these days, and sometimes haunting. It’s hard to stay asleep when those not as fortunate scream at them, or the lava won’t stop rising, or Dot looks at them with the most hurt they’ve ever seen, and they try to crush all the complicated feelings that brings.
They don’t think they’ll sleep again until they can forget, so they look around and decide they want to focus their attention on the little pile of interesting trinkets nearby.
They hold a piece of twisted metal. It’s a gorgeous pink marked with blue on one side, yet plainly silver on the other. It reminds them of a space rock Dot showed them. They can’t remember what it’s called, only that she was very excited about it. They can’t focus their memories well; the light in her eyes changes to something else, and suddenly they want to stop thinking about her.
They hold another piece of metal. It’s a strange bronze color, but they’re drawn to how smooth it feels against their fingers. They rub it in their newer hand. The palm holds things far better than the old hand. They keep looking with their claw.
They hold up a little hat, and try to inspect it. It’s a helmet, with a few bullet holes lined along it. It reminds Fen of the weird robots who tried to hurt them, and they put it down because they don’t want to think about that.
They hold a piece of glass. It’s a soft green, and they watch the pale light cast green shadows through it. It’s pretty. It reminds them of something, but they can’t remember what, so they don’t bother to focus on those thoughts.
Their hands are cold, and it snaps them out of whatever trance they were in, and they’re tired. They set down the glass and the smooth metal they forgot they were holding. They don’t remember why they woke up anyway.
---
Clanking echoes through the room, and laughter follows. They move to cover their antennae. All they wanted was to sleep.
*Stupid cultists.*
---
Fen woke up a bit dazed, but surprisingly rested. Their body doesn’t feel the same, but their mind is alert for the first time in a while and they can’t sleep like this. Being properly conscious also gives them the ability to conclude for absolute certain; They want to leave this place ASAP.
Their legs still feel weird to walk on, (... Legs..?) and they stumble awkwardly as they try to get a good look around. There are two fluorescent lights on the ceiling, and the pure white they’re giving off gives the poor bot a headache. At the very least, the lights make it easier to see. There’s a large pile of dismembered corpses behind them, and they don’t want to linger on it. Unfortunately, the second eye catching thing is a smaller pile of dismembered corpses, and that’s not great for their mood. They look to the walls instead. There’s… A few limbs. And nets holding them. There’s also a ladder leading to a higher platform. They try to climb it, and they do, but it’s difficult. And it’s hard to fit their legs in the rungs properly. Who... designed ladders…? I’m gonna fight them.
There’s very little clutter on the platform, and ahead is a strange door. Upon closer inspection, it opens in the middle. Or so they assume, because they can’t for the life of them figure out how to open it. Which… They probably shouldn’t… Now that they think about it? They don’t know if it’s a way out all the time, and they quite like being alive, actually.
They stumble around, and drag their hand against the wall. The wall is metal, and it feels thick. It also feels a bit like garbage. After a while, they find a panel. Unfortunately, try as they might, they can’t seem to get it open. They sigh, and keep going. The only other things they can find are a few bullet holes and dents along the wall. The bullet holes don’t cut all the way through, though.
The fatigue is setting back in, and their body wants to give out. It feels like a waste, but they need to rest. All they can hope is that someone comes by soon, and they can learn more from that.
---
Something is wrong, it’s too hot, and they’re having trouble seeing, and someone’s dying, and she’s looking at them with the kind of fear they’ve never seen before- And yet they’re so cold… And they’re not sure what’s going on, but it feels like it’s over, and they can’t really move, and they don’t want to think about it anymore.
---
Their mind is hazy. It’s too hazy, actually. It feels like they’re in at least 4 different lives at once. And all they can tell is that this doesn’t look like a cult or very underground, and they sincerely hope they’re as far from it as possible. They twitch. Wait… What? They don’t remember having a body... yet they can’t remember what else they might have had, or been. Some things feel wrong, but it feels… Normal. Somehow. The warmth feels right, at least.
The haze doesn’t go away, but it clouds their memories instead of their processing. It’s… A familiar place, but they don’t know what it is, and they can’t remember if they ever knew. The light above them flickers and it scares them. Why...?
They feel dizzy, and a little bit like they’re falling. It sucks, and they need it to stop soon. They try desperately to shut their mind off in the hopes that it’ll all stop for a while.
---
They’re awake, and yet they can’t remember waking up. There’s a dull aching in their chest. And their vision is a bit fuzzy, and everything’s a bit darker than they remember.
---
Those visions scare them, but they forget just as easily, and it leaves them confused as to whether they saw them at all, and that makes them upset.
---
They wake up to that loud clanking again, and there’s an ache in their chest. It feels like their emotions are running too high, and alongside the clanking, there’s laughter, or cheering, or something like that. Maybe screaming. Maybe crying. They’d like to do those things right now.
They try to call for quiet, but they don’t remember how to speak, and instead they just emit a loud burst of static that startles even them.
There’s screams. Or, startled shouts, at least.
They don’t know if they know those voices.
“Look out Cuz, there’s somethin’ glowin’!”
“AGH! What if it’s a ghost?!”
They definitely don’t know those voices.
“What, ya think the dang heap’s haunted?”
The voices hurt.
“Maybe! There’s sure a lot o’ dead people here!”
They want it to stop.
“None o’ the other heaps are haunted!”
They scream again.
“SEE?! Haunted!”
“AGH!”
The clanking returns, and they hate it, but it doesn’t hurt, and soon it’s quiet.
They’re so tired.
---
They hear clanking, and it bothers them awake.
Their chest hurts.
Someone gasps. Their voice is familiar and foreign at the same time, but they don’t know why. Their vision is fuzzy.
It takes them a second to find their voice again, although the burst of static this time is far less alarming. “...Dot...?” They try, because that name means something to them. Yet, getting a better look at whoever this is, their appearance sparks nothing in their mind. “No, not Dot. I seem to be confused.”
“You’re not a Scrapper, are you?” The person sounds… Wary? They can’t help but notice whoever it is has a gun, and they don't really wanna get shot.
“I…” They don’t really remember what a scrapper is, but it must be tied to wherever they are, and they feel strongly that they want nothing to do with this place. “I don’t think so.” Is what they eventually muster up. “I can’t remember.”
“Well, you kinda look like a scrapper. I’m Piper Faraday,” Piper towers over them, and despite the gun she holds at the ready, her stance is otherwise pretty calm, and they can’t tell if they should be afraid of her or not. They also realize she’s still talking. “what should I call you? Do you have a name?” For a moment that utterly horrifies them, they can’t remember.
“I think it’s… Fen.” Fen sounds right, and as they say the name, it only feels more right. “Yes, my name is Fen.” The name feels nice in Fen’s mind, and they promise to themself not to forget it again. They glance around, trying to see if they can spark their memory a bit. “I think… I think I was among the first here. It was emptier before, anyway.”
“Okay, Fen,” Piper’s voice is strange to them, and they don’t quite understand what emotion it carries. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
They need a second to remember why everything kinda sucks, but they’re able to. “I’m so depleted I can barely move. My power source was stolen. I’ve stayed alive by scavenging parts from the scrapheaps. I need to find a new source of energy.” They missed talking, and people, yet simple conversation has been so draining. “I just have to close my eyes for a moment.”
They can hear Piper say something more, but they’re just so tired…
---
The lady is gone when Fen wakes up again, and they’re not sure what to do. They settle on looking for her. Standing up is harder than they thought, but it’s fine. They’re fine. Probably.
They look around; the light above them is out, and there’s not a lot of room for the lady to hide, and they’re pretty sure that poor bot hanging from a net isn’t her.
They don’t really realize they’ve zoned out until a very loud noise snaps them out of it. The lady from before enters, and she seems very concerned.
She says… Something. But it goes in one ear out the other.
“You…” They murmur, giving their brain a moment to buffer. “I remember you. Piper. You are Piper. Have I waited for you?”
“Well, yes, not quite there yet, are you?” She gestures towards something she’s carrying. It hurts to look at. “We managed to get a new power source for you. You should feel stronger in no time at all.”
“Would you let me join your crew?” They’re not sure what prompts them to ask, besides wanting to be anywhere else. “I’m sure I could be of use, and I have nowhere else to go.”
Piper looks… Surprised? By their question, but it doesn’t last long. “Of course!” She smiles at them, and it’s nice.
“I’ll try to be an asset, Piper.”
The stupid ladder is actually even worse this time, but the Captain tries to help them up the last few rungs and onto the ship while they’re still weak, and it’s nice. Fen is happy to belong somewhere.