Work Text:
The boy sat alone, staring at the bright hues of orange and yellow that illuminated the landscape as the sun set, the colours slowly fading from their bright forms. His brunet hair blew against the harsh wind that overpowered the humid air as he sat alone on the sand, staring out into the flaming ball of light that made his eyes strain.
It couldn’t be healthy to stare into such a bright light, his eyes squinting, trying to dilute the saturation to save his eyesight from reflecting dark patches of nothingness as he got to a better lighting, the sun no longer beaming directly into his vision.
It was odd, really. He could barely bring himself to even blink away from the light, as if he was going to miss a drastic part to a movie if he even rested his eyes for less than a second, and so, he stayed there, staring into the sun.
Although many families and workers had left the sandy landscape as the sun began to show its exhaustion, beginning to sink down from view like quick sand, the boy never had any plans on leaving, continuously staring into the heat of light that seemed to be causing more harm than good.
Anyone from an outside perspective would have thought the high schooler was crazy to be out in the nearing dangerous world at such a late hour, looking as if his plans for being at the beach were nearing none. Darryl didn’t care, he wasn’t planning on leaving the mesmerising sight until it was out of view, taking the daylight with it.
It was as if he couldn’t tear his eyes away, even if he wanted to, the sight being too pretty to bear to leave. The sun gave of a comforting heat as the light glistened on his pale skin, giving him a sun kissed glow. His eyes shone a little brighter, as if his life had been litten up with a dimmed candle in a dark room that hadn’t seen sunlight in decades.
It was a feeling he adored, to feel the comfort on his skin from the glowing ball in the sky, face to have a shining glow making him look and feel something.
The feeling was one he longed for, the feeling of someone loving him as much as he loved them, to be encased in a heat that felt like safety, one's body heat radiating him making him feel as if nothing could hurt him. The feeling was so loving, easy and simple, just something someone would do, purely out of loving him.
The feeling was longed for with a reason, as he didn’t have it in his grasp already, wanting it desperately but never receiving. It was as if he was running after something that would just sprint faster if he even caught up, making him feel unwanted and equally like a bother. He felt as if he deserved to feel loved, after the amount of love he radiated himself, it wasn’t fair.
Nothing was meant to be fair, life becoming harder every passing day. Even if you trained with as much desperation as possible, feeling as if you could life the world, life would outweigh you, with no given reason or explanation, just because it can.
He wasn’t sure on why this was, why he wasn’t given the chance to prove his worth, why he didn’t have arms to fall into or a special someone he could call home. The feelings never returned.
The sand encased the strawberry brunet boy's hand as he sunk further, pressing more than his body weight onto it, purely out of anger. It was softy, smooth, something that mimicked the feeling of a hand in his, swaying back and forth as he walked down the sidewalk with someone.
He felt as if he would take anything at this point, a family to go home to that made you feel wanted, encasing you in their arms as safety. A group of friends that wanted you around , purely because they liked you, gave him the chance to prove he was more than what he portrayed, the chance was never given. He wasn’t sure if it ever would.
It was his smile he wanted, he wanted to be the reason for the bright glow that resembled his happiness. Zak, someone out of reach, the reason he wanted to smile, longing for the feeling of him to shoot a smile back his way that made him melt under the feeling of the sunny emotion.
He couldn’t comprehend why no one else made his heart feel warm and fuzzy like his did, why he tried to bring anything in his life closer to him if it even reminded him of the feeling Zak’s smile radiated.
He was helpless for the boy, crumbling under his touch as they brushed hands, Darryl desperately wanting to feel the tanned skin on his own, coming from more than just an accident.
He didn’t know when it started, when the feeling of longing for his touch became more than just a want and into a need. It was an obsession, he wouldn’t deny the fact yet it was an obsession that he couldn’t feed the need for, only becoming even more touch deprived as he missed the contact of his hold.
He didn’t want the constant feeling of ache and denial but it was something that wasn’t as simple as a pill he could take. His medicine being the antidote that was restricted from his touch, a medicine he wasn’t allowed and it was eating him up alive.
His smile felt so bright, a feeling like sitting by a campfire with friends, laughing along to stupid jokes that had no meaning and roasting marshmallows that melt in your mouth with the contact to heat. The feeling like cold nights turning into warm ones as you wrap into the covers of the comfort of your own bed, a smile falling onto your lips from the feeling being so inviting
Darryl couldn’t comprehend the feeling as he got a smile shot in his direction, limbs going limp as he fell into a trance of pure euphoria. It was an effect that only Zak gave him, a contagious smile that made his darkest days illuminate with the glow of the raven boy.
His smile felt like a sunny day, eating ice creams on the beach with your friends, the flavourful food getting on the sides of your mouth as friends giggle at you, yourself, oblivious of what's so funny.
Zak was his sun, the brightest light he had in his life, smiles and laughs making his heart burst at anything about him.
Here he was, substituting the feeling with anything that held even the closest similarities to it, sun glistening on his skin as he ran through the memories of the pair together, smiling at the feeling of having him around.
He was hopelessly in love with the smile, such a simple action that represented the feeling of happiness, Darryl falling apart at the sight. He would never complain about the feeling, he just wished he could feel it more, find new contact from the same boy that made him crumble more than he already did. The idea wasn’t allowed, limited from the borders of friendship, something he hated.
He was left longing for more, staring into the sun as it faded away, taking anything that resembled the boy he was so hopelessly in love with, with it. It hurt keeping the feelings bottled up, it did, but how could he risk the sunshine that lit up his life just because he was greedy and wanted more of the feeling.
He didn’t want his sunshine to fall from the sky to never rise again, and so, he was left sitting in the cool sand nightly, soaking up more of the feeling that was so euphoric.