Archive of Our Own ^beta

“This isn’t Law of the Jungle! Aren’t you being too hard on us?” Donghyuck cries, leaning against Johnny as he wipes away his sweat.

Johnny pats him on the back, picking up the spear that they made. It’s nearly his height.

“If we don’t catch anything, will we starve for dinner?” Mark’s shoulders drop as he faces the staff with the depressing reality.

Yuta then pops up from where he was squatting over the rocks and yells out a cheer. “Don’t worry, Mark! We can do it!” He then flexes his biceps as if it was a legitimate testament to his seafood catching skills.

Taeyong wades along the waters, his shorts completely sticking to his thighs, and says out loud, “Thank god we have Johnny. That team may have Jaehyun, but at least we have Johnny to do the hard work.”

Both Donghyuck and Doyoung complain that they do their fair share as they yell in the background it doesn’t take just muscles to survive! and hey, I work out too, you know!

“I’m the one who thought out the plan to corner the fish into this net!” Doyoung cries out in disbelief as he lifts up their team’s bucket of fish.

Donghyuck lets out another cry as his shoulders slump and the knife in his hand drops to the side. “Ah! I don’t want to do this anymore! Can’t we just play rock, paper, scissors, and the loser hands over half their food?”

Immediate objections from the other team ring out all around the shore.

“No way that’s happening. It’s just a losing move for us since you haven’t caught anything yet.” Doyoung stops the idea before it can go any further.

One of the staff rings out to them, “You have 15 minutes left!”

Johnny’s team starts to scramble amongst themselves as they try to formulate a new plan. Jungwoo just laughs as he starts walking back to land.

“Woo, we’re gonna have a feast tonight!” Jungwoo brings his hands up and cheers, jogging to catch up to Kun. “Let’s go back early so we can use the rice cooker, hyung!”

Mark makes a big splash with the waves as he hears this. “No! That means we have to use a stove to cook the rice? I don’t know how to do that!”

Johnny turns to the staff and with a face in disbelief, he says, “Wow, this is really cruel. You know Mark’s bad at cooking and he’s one of the people in charge of it today. The staff are being really ruthless.”

The crowd of staff with their cameras set up, writers clutching their papers, all just laugh. “There will be another game later where you can switch meals with the other team, so hurry up!”

“Jaehyun-ah,” Jaehyun hears Doyoung call for him. 

“Hyung, I’m here,” he calls back.

Doyoung spots Jaehyun below him, hidden by a rock as a cameraman is focused on him digging something out of the seafloor.

Jaehyun grunts as he finally lets up and straightens his back with something in his hands. “It’s a really big clam,” he says as he turns up to show the clam to Doyoung.

“Wow, good job,” Doyoung says, inching closer to the edge of the rock to look at it in his hands. “Put it in the bucket.” He pulls the bucket by the handle and Jaehyun deposits the clam among their fish and other oysters.

Doyoung peers down at the distance down from the pile of rocks, dangling one leg down until his foot touches a surface. It’s wet and he’s cautious as he climbs down from the big rock.

It’s worry and a slight bit of indulgence on his part when Jaehyun positions himself behind Doyoung. “I’ll hold this,” he says and takes the bucket from Doyoung’s hands.

Doyoung easily lets the handle go as he maneuvers his other leg down from the higher height. With a small turn of his heel, the slippery surface of the smaller slender rock gives in, and in a second, Doyoung’s nails are scraping against dirt and hard stone as the oxygen is stolen from him and he is tripping back.

Within a heartbeat, Jaehyun lurches forward.

“Careful,” he gasps as his hands wrap around Doyoung’s waist, catching his fall. His fingers are gentle against the side of Doyoung’s belly, wrapping the other in a posture. 

He feels the thump of Doyoung’s heartbeat against his own chest as Doyoung stills, almost frozen in place as if he’s alert of the solid chest that presses against his back.

“I’ve got you,” Jaehyun whispers very softly. Using only arm strength, he picks Doyoung up by the waist to drag him several paces back onto the flat land.

Out of the corner of his eye, a camera is still filming them. Doyoung tilts his head back and flashes him an easy smile. “Thanks,” he says softly.

Jaehyun wonders if this part will make the cut. If he’ll be framed a hero, and if this scene will be used as another part to further his image by the company. 

Jaehyun takes in a deep breath. Remember where you are. You’re at work surrounded by a group of staff.

“It’s a good thing we’re on the same team. You have fast reflexes,” Doyoung picks his head up and says as he takes a step back away from the steady chest propping him up.

Jaehyun laughs, his blush spotting through the light foundation on his face. “I know you just want to beat Haechan, because he won last week.”

“Of course. That too.”

This is a typical experience for Jaehyun on 127 ZONE.

Jaehyun had his doubts about joining the show.

He was introduced as a new regular on the show after guesting for one episode. His name went wild on the trend searches when the episode aired. He didn’t know whether he could pull off being an engaging part of the cast. There’s a certain image his company wants him to foster: the cool, boyfriend type.

But frankly, Jaehyun is not that sort at all if he were to describe himself. He’s clumsy, goofy, and he can’t lie to save his life. That’s not the image his company has built up for him in interviews and on social media. Actually, when the cameras are on him, he feels a world’s away from that part of himself. As if he is split into two and he becomes another person.

You’re Jung Jaehyun, his manager would say, not Jung Yunoh—the name his grandmother adoringly and cautiously picked for him so that he could amass abundance in the future. 

Jung Jaehyun is direct, introspective about life, and smooth with his words.

So he makes a choice to speak less, react more on camera.

“I’m Jung Jaehyun. I’m a runway model,” he says when he’s prompted to introduce himself for the first time, “and this is the first variety show I’ve been in. Please take care of me.” He bows, flashing his neat set of white pearls with a smile and dimples. 

The others clap and make sounds of oooh, ahhhh, he's cool, he’s handsome! (This was Johnny and Haechan.)

So far, it works. He gets away with dominating in the physical games and being quick to react in word games. When he watches the first episode play on TV, his cuts are exactly what his company imagined: suave scenes of his face with romantic music playing in the background, replays of his hitting remarks with captions like [As Expected Of Prince Jaehyun]. 

The other members are nice. They’re loud, boisterous, engaging, and often find something to laugh at easily.

Somewhere between the third and fourth time they meet up to shoot, Taeyong directs him, “Jaehyun, you too, say something. What are your feelings since joining us?”

Jaehyun hums. “I think this program is really fun. I’ve never had such experiences like competing with seven other people and getting flipped over in a racecar—” bumper car, Yuta corrects, “—just so I could take a hot bath at night or eat premium grade beef.”

“Eh, hyung, you make it sound like we’re torturing you,” Donghyuck quips up in jest. Mark slaps him on the shoulder and tries to hide his snickers.

“The staff will feel bad,” Doyoung keeps on teasing, gesturing to the staff in front of them.

“You’re not,” Jaehyun laughs and waves his hands. “I just think the variety world is different from my regular job and meeting everyone with such different personalities has broadened my view a lot. Models tend to have the same lifestyle, so it’s very interesting on 127 ZONE.”

Taeyong sniffles since they’ve been standing in the cold porch for a running forty minutes now. How he has been doing this for seven years, Jaehyun can’t even imagine how much he’s endured with that skinny body. 

Taeyong slaps him on the back. “You’re quite the sentimental speaker. You should say more on camera, Jaehyun.”

The tips of Jaehyun’s ears prickle with heat. “Do you think so? I hear that a lot,” he says. Some part of him is guilty that he’s perpetuating a half-lie.

Thankfully, Johnny laughs. “That’s just how he is,” he comments. “But the show has let the viewers see a more greedy side of him. Jung Jaehyun who cheats in games!”

The crowd cracks up at Johnny's remark.

Jaehyun exhales, making brief eye-contact with Johnny. It warms him on the inside that someone has his back. Since Johnny had modeled before, they’ve known each other from being in the industry for a while, and he’s one of the people who knows best between the distinction of Jung Jaehyun and Jung Yunoh.

“I’m thinking of quitting on the other hand,” Johnny says and takes a very deliberate move to shiver in the cold. “I haven’t been on the winning team ever since the season started. Maybe I’m having a bad luck phase right now.”

And everyone starts complaining about how many times Johnny won last season and that it’s all karma this time. The arguments fade into the night when they all retire to their rooms, divided by the winners and losers.

When Jaehyun returns to the room from his shower, the other guys are still talking. The un-manned cameras at the corners of the room keep watch. 

“I’d really want Yuta’s athletic abilities,” Kun mentions. “He basically won all the points for us today. I thought he was just a soccer player, but he followed the Taekwondo coach so well!”

Jaehyun settles on the corner of his futon, patting the blanket smooth. Unknowing of the next thing that would happen. Doyoung makes a subtle comment.

“I’d really like to switch bodies with Jaehyun in my next life,” he says.

Donghyuck snickers in the back, snuggled up in his futon after a hot bath that he won. “If it’s your next life, he might end up in an ugly body though.”

Doyoung stops wiping down his damp hair with a towel, turning to click his tongue at the younger in annoyance, before resuming. “I’d like to look like that after a shower. Or when I wake up. The body, wow. The face, wow. His effortless handsome appearance, it’s something you have to be gifted with from birth.”

The tips of Jaehyun's ears heat up, wondering if Doyoung doesn't know he's behind him listening. Jaehyun coughs, trying to signal his presence. But Doyoung just turns to him grinning with ease as if it didn’t matter.

Mark agrees from where he’s sitting on Donghyuck’s futon. “Jaehyun hyung looks like the perfect man. He’s been on the winning team since he got here and the viewers really like him.”

Jaehyun leans back against the wall, glancing at the cameras once and then adorning his dimpled smile. “I was called an all-rounder in middle school. I played soccer and basketball so maybe that’s why I win at all our physical games?”

“He’s bragging!” Kun shouts.

Ah, so this is all for the cameras. Kun’s normally personable attitutde is increased to put on a show in front of the cameras. Jaehyun has seen Kun’s off-camera personality, a humorous but mellow version of himself.

No wonder Doyoung was so casually complimenting him.

A common running saying among the cast was to compliment Jaehyun on how well he was doing during missions. A lot of the other members also groaned when the staff formed teams for them and they were pitted against Jaehyun.

That was also Jaehyun’s first impression of Doyoung. Seemingly polite for the most part, but once in a while, he’ll say something that will knock you to your knees and disarm you.

Doyoung has a reputation, as all the members of 127 ZONE do. Doyoung is an actor that worked their way up from high school love dramas to melodramatic stories about society. Jaehyun would call him a versatile actor that the nation knows. In interviews, he’s clean cut, witty, and known to be proper. 

Jaehyun makes sure to be courteous to him. His company is thinking about sending him off to casting calls to act some day.

“I really enjoyed watching Decade of Youth,” Jaehyun says, a month into the first time they met.

The mission that week was camping and they played rock, paper, scissors to see who would sleep inside and who would sleep outside in tents. It was the first time Jaehyun was put on the same team as Doyoung.

On the way to the bathroom, Doyoung said he was curious about Jaehyun’s skincare, what do you use that makes your skin look so.. plump? and so they ended up sitting cross-legged on the bathroom floor together while they exchanged toners and essence.

Jaehyun noted the dimmed lights around them and how late it was into the night. The staff had all left to their respective places to sleep into the night. He lets his guard down.

Doyoung lowers his head, holding the smallest of smiles. “Oh, right, that series was really popular. I would’ve held back a bit if I knew millions of people were going to see me all snotty-nosed.” 

“No hyung, I thought it was cool!” Jaehyun almost drops the bottle in his hand and refutes immediately, “People usually are worried about looking pretty on camera, they don’t bear their emotions enough. I know I don’t.”

“I thought that was just because you’re a natural, Jaehyun-ah. Always handsome in every angle,” Doyoung teases.

Jaehyun tucks his chin down. He thinks his expression might seem too bitter right now. “It’s not. I work hard to maintain my image.”

Doyoung pats his face with a small smile. “I’m just the same, as vain as anyone else.”

Jaehyun notices the serum next to him. He’s had that one before. “Ah, that isn’t how you put it on.”

Doyoung stops and pulls his hands away. “Then how?” he asks.

“Like this,” Jaehyun says and drips a nickel-sized puddle of serum in his palm and spreads it with his fingertips. Without much thought, he reaches up to press the serum into Doyoung’s cheekbones, massaging it into his skin with gentle touches. Doyoung’s eyes shut on instinct. His skin is a bit cool but still smooth along Jaehyun's fingertips.

“Will I become as photogenic as you if I do this?” he jokes.

“It’s just my genes, hyung. Besides, you don’t really want my face. No one will take you seriously.”

Doyoung’s eyelashes flutter. “What do you mean?”

“It’s the reason why I’m always trending. Why I got casted onto this show. People see me as the valentine boy. My attraction is that I have a handsome face, a nice body, and perfect personality.”

There’s a slight silence for a second. Then Doyoung’s eyes open and he says quietly, “I don’t think that’s all to it.”

Jaehyun still holds Doyoung’s face in his hands as Doyoung’s eyes stare at him, set deep and serious. It’s flustering.

Doyoung continues, “You should give yourself some more credit. If your face is the only thing that people liked, you wouldn’t have been casted on this show, and the viewers wouldn’t be as in love with you as they are now.”

Jaehyun feels the joints in his wrists grow weak, helpless to the look Doyoung is giving him. Jaehyun likes looking people in the eyes when they talk. Doyoung never does. He is more of a contemplative talker, thinking as he speaks, and speaking rarely unless prompted. But meeting eyes with Doyoung now makes Jaehyun nervous for the first time. Maybe it's the shape of his eyes, but something in it sharpness of his gaze makes Jaehyun feels transparent.

Jaehyun’s hands retreat. “I don't think you know me that well to have that impression..” he replies. It seems rude when Jaehyun looked back on it, but he was being serious. However, Doyoung doesn't take offense to his words.

In fact, Doyoung’s smile softens. “Five minutes of conversation is enough. I think the viewers and the other members can see how thoughtful and genuine you are.”

It’s short and sweet.

Jaehyun doesn’t look like it, but he’s easily shy. He likes attention, he always has.

But there’s something about hearing it from Doyoung, who he has known for all of three weeks, makes it feel a bit different. Jaehyun is simple. Whose heart wouldn’t flutter after vying silently, to finally hear someone tell you that you’ve done well? Jaehyun has never been well guarded in that area, especially by someone so disarming as Doyoung.

“You’re really nice, hyung,” Jaehyun ultimately ends up saying with a repressed smile. “Thank you.”

“I’m just saying what’s true,” Doyoung says. He looks down at all their skincare, bottles and tubes all spread on the floor. “I think we need to clean up.”

Jaehyun nods and obediently packs all the stuff he brought back up. As he shuffles out of the bathroom, only then does he realize that there are cameras at the corners of the bedroom still filming. 

And very briefly, Jaehyun wonders if he just fell in love on national television.

After that, every time Jaehyun would catch Doyoung’s eyes, there was something special about the way he smiled. It was subdued, sneaky, yet shy. 

Jaehyun wondered if he was imagining things or if, really, they were sharing a secret in those sneaky smiles, across from each other with five people between them and a whole line of cameras aiming at their faces.

Growing a crush on someone wasn’t anything Jaehyun planned on when he came onto this show. He planned on showing a charismatic side, playing the part of prince charming as his management wanted. He didn’t plan on this.

Anxiety grows, but so does adoration. 

Jaehyun feels like he’s a teenage boy again—that was the last time he really liked someone. Every glance they shared, Jaehyun's heart soared. He wakes up crossing the days off until the next time he can see Doyoung again. He wakes up looking forward to going to work, and that might make him a bit insane. Still, this isn't a place where he should act like a teenage boy infatuated by someone. He's being watched all the time when he's with Doyoung.

So with the swaying between feelings he shouldn’t have and the feelings he inevitably does have, it feels like he’s playing a dangerous game.

On the porch, Doyoung and Jaehyun kneel to the side of the house, cleaning the scales off all the fish.

“You’re good at this, hyung.”

Doyoung looks at the attempt next to him where the fish in Jaehyun’s hands have only half of their scales peeled off. “And you’re not,” he laughs.

“I’m good at more practical stuff like using a stove and mixing seasoning. Not..” Jaehyun lifts the fish, limp in his hand, weakly, “..this. It’s my first time, so I don’t really know how.”

Jaehyun is normally good at cooking. He is the type to be good at whatever he does, but only when he’s given a sufficient amount of time to learn and study. His ears burn at the embarrassment of showing how weak he is to Doyoung. He hopes it doesn’t make him look inexperienced.

“Should I tell you a secret?” Doyoung teases, only slightly drawing closer. But that’s already enough for Jaehyun.

Doyoung leans his body towards Jaehyun, huddling in close like he’s telling Jaehyun that he has his attention. But his eyes never lift off of his work. Doyoung just continues to scrape his knife against the fish, seemingly unphased.

And that phases Jaehyun.

The scent of the sea, slightly salty and sharp, clings onto Doyoung’s skin and wafts off of him. 

They create a bubble of only them in that moment as their arms brush against each other, and they share a secret. To share a secret is an intimate act between people, whether they’re friends or strangers, it is to place your trust and privacy into someone and say do not break this or else you break us.

Jaehyun wants that kind of closeness with Doyoung.

“What? Tell me.”

“I cheated.” Doyoung chuckles. “I looked up how to clean fish at home before this and prepared just in case.”

“Huh?” Jaehyun raises his eyebrows in confusion. “But how did you know about the mission?”

Doyoung’s lips split into a smug smile as the subtle crease of his smile line forms. Jaehyun’s eyes hover over where the small scar beside Doyoung’s lips isn’t hidden well enough by makeup.

“Last week, Haechan won the hint for this week’s mission, right? Well actually, I asked Mark what the hint was after a lot of probing. You know how Haechan spills just about everything to him after the episode comes out on air.”

Jaehyun can’t help the laughter that comes out. “I bet they even watch it together.”

The two glance at each other and share a secretive smile. Only between them.

“I bet they do,” Doyoung agrees in jest. He looks down at Jaehyun’s stalled hands against the fish and reaches over, placing his hands over Jaehyun’s. “It’s like this,” he says as he demonstrates how to strip the scales properly.

His handling is delicate. Doyoung’s fingers are different from his, more manly, bigger knuckles and knobby at the joints. Jaehyun’s ears burn.

“You’re really good at this,” Jaehyun says, just short of a stutter, and then he smiles, more so to tell his heart not to stir again. “I’ve got it, hyung. Thank you.”

He can’t help but cast another parting glance at Doyoung, praying to some god out there that the cameras aren’t catching onto how his stare lingers.

The shadow of Doyoung’s smile is still there as they continue their tasks in tandem and quiet.

Jaehyun gulps as he cleans the fish the way Doyoung taught him. A growing ball of heat in his chest makes it harder for him to breathe normally as his hands replicate the motions Doyoung had done, replaying the moment where Doyoung’s hands were on him—again and again.

This is bad. 

Jaehyun is afraid that eventually, his feelings will show. There is almost nothing that can escape the eye of the camera, and also the people watching. For feelings like adoration, with every secretive action—lingering stares, hesitant hands, and cautious words, the more obvious you become.

From the kitchen, Donghyuck screams, “No! Turn the gas back on, Mark! The rice is uncooked!”

There are certain perks you can leverage by having a runway model as a regular part of your show. A perk like getting an invitation by a fashion designer to a runway show, specifically one that Jaehyun would walk in. It’s a bit jarring to see the designer let the staff run their usual gags with her.

Jaehyun is too busy being on the runway to focus on the actual shoot. He doesn’t get to see the mission that they do because he’s one of the models who are getting fitted. The other members pop in at the end of rehearsal to compete in whose walk is the best. 

It’s amusing to see the others in his place. Jungwoo’s walk is praised because of his height. Taeyong pulls off the designs best. And while Doyoung walks, Jaehyun lets his eyes admire the length of his neck and bend of his muscles through the mesh shirt he wears. 

Johnny wins, of course, being a former model.

After, the staff move equipment during their lunch break.

“Is that all you’re going to eat, Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun flips his phone over and lets it drop between his thighs where he’s sitting criss-cross on the floor. There’s twenty plus people in the room including filming equipment so there isn’t much room for sitting. 

“Huh?” Jaehyun looks up, clacking his chopsticks together.

Jungwoo nods to his half-eaten box lunch that was delivered to them. Jaehyun had cut out all the carbs and only ate the high protein parts.

“Yeah, I’m on a diet. I have to watch what I eat since I’m going on the runway soon,” he says, reminding himself to take another gulp of water.

The idols in the room make empathetic faces. They all know what it’s like to be put on a diet before shoots and comebacks.

“That’s pretty extreme,” Mark mentions as he watches how Jaehyun finishes his third bottle of water. Mark is a k-hiphop rapper so he doesn’t follow diets as extreme as the other idols do.

On the day of the show, Jaehyun will not drink a sip of water so he can look more fit. Industry methods for looking good, especially on days where it matters.

“It’s necessary,” Jaehyun shrugs. “It’s not too bad. I try not to go overboard and I work out to maintain fit so dieting is easier when I have to go on the runway.”

Johnny slides in, “He works out four days a week.”

Mark oohs in awe. “That’s some serious dedication, hyung.”

“That’s good,” Doyoung says. “You’re diligent and you know how to take care of yourself. It took me a long time to learn how to diet healthily for the camera.”

“Some models still don’t know how to do it after ten years in the industry,” Johnny adds on. Once upon a time, Johnny started his career modeling. Now he’s on his way to becoming the nation’s MC. He has a lot of experience in this sort of thing.

“That’s why it’s commendable.” Doyoung cuts out parts of the protein of his meat, delicately placing each piece into Jaehyun’s holding box. “We didn’t order enough protein with the meal, so you can have mine.”

Then Doyoung directs a smile, soft and caring, his way. It’s enough to make Jaehyun’s heart flutter again. It’s times like this where he is taken aback. He wonders if the feelings Doyoung has towards Jaehyun are just platonic, or if maybe, if he digs, he might find something else worth all the trouble.

“Do you know if Doyoung’s dating anyone?”

Sicheng’s lips spread in amusement. “Why are you asking?”

Sicheng was a member of the cast last season, but because he’s touring with his group for a large part of this year, he had to leave the show. He is also the one that recommended Jaehyun to the producers to take his place. 

Jaehyun shrugs. “I’m.. interested.”

Sicheng chuckles at his half-hearted attempt to be distant. “Sure. Why don’t you know if he’s single? Don’t you talk outside of work?”

“We have a group chat. Other than that.. we haven’t hung out just the two of us.”

“So ask in the group.”

Jaehyun bristles. “I can’t possibly do that. It’ll give me away!”

Sicheng makes a show of sticking his head to the side and peers at Jaehyun’s reddening ears. “Ah, you really can’t hide anything.” 

Jaehyun is normally open about these things with Sicheng. He doesn’t expect to fall in love easily with people. Maybe because his circle is too small within the modeling industry, but he feels like he knows every model before he gets to know them. When you’ve worked in an industry for so long, there isn’t anyone that is surprising anymore.

“So if he’s single, will you confess to him?”

Jaehyun sucks his bottom lip in. “I don’t know..” he says and looks down at his food. “He seems protective of his image. Reserved. Kind of like me. You know it’s hard to date in their industry..”

Sicheng stirs the drink in his hand. “So you’re worried about your reputations? Actors have it easier though.”

Jaehyun fiddles with the chopsticks in his hand, poking at the half-eaten noodles still left in his bowl. Off the back of his mind, he remembers when Doyoung complimented him on his diligence and professionalism as he was dieting.

“How am I supposed to think? You’ve seen the recent articles, right? There are all sorts of posts that dig into my past and they have all sorts of information on me—what school I went to, what kind of crowd I hung around, how the teachers thought of me, whether I had any past lovers or not..”

It bothers Jaehyun to see those articles sometimes. When someone is propelled into the spotlight, more and more of that person becomes an object for the public to use for entertainment, private or on-camera.

“That’s part of being a celebrity,” Sicheng states.

“I know,” Jaehyun says. “That’s why I’m being careful right now. Even if.. even if I like him a lot.”

An amused expression crosses Sicheng’s face. “I always knew you would end up like this. Once you find the one, it’s going to be hard for you not to fall in love and do everything to pursue it,” he says like it’s a fact. Sicheng props his chin with his fist, quite certain and calm. “You’re gonna end up confessing your feelings.”

Jaehyun groans, slumping his back over his chair. “What if I don’t?”

“That’s not possible. I know you. You know you,” Sicheng emphasizes.

That brings Jaehyun’s argument to a halt. Sicheng is his closest friend. They’ve been through the small and big accomplishments of their career together, and they’ve seen what each other are like when they like someone. And Sicheng is right.

Jaehyun is the kind of person who can’t stop once he discovers his feelings for someone. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. He doesn’t just love halfway. Jaehyun won’t stop liking that person until the very end. Until he knows that he must give up.

Jaehyun sighs and Sicheng huffs out a laugh. “This is so unfair,” he mutters.

Reality comes crashing down the next weekend.

It starts with an article. Just one fan post that turns into more fan posts, that turns into an article by some gossip journalist. If they can even be called that.

KIM DOYOUNG AND KIM JISOO'S 'LOVESTAGRAM'

There are several pictures of Doyoung and Jisoo wearing supposed ‘couple items’. It listed evidence of their pictures on social media as ‘lovestagrams’ along with loving messages in the captions. It would be just a speculated rumor if it were just the coincidental posts, but the more the dates and the captions align like they’re having a conversation, the more unease it brings Jaehyun. The killer is a picture of the two side by side, wearing a customized necklace from givenchy. It only comes in a pair as a couple’s item. Doyoung wore one half and Jisoo wore the other.

Jaehyun grows ill at the sight of that picture. His fingers hesitate to scroll down to the comments, but the more you suppress something, the more it ends up happening.

+ Wow, they really aren’t subtle. Matching couple necklaces on top of it.... just spit in your fans' faces while you’re at it.

+ Their poor fans. Jisoo could definitely do better though. Kim Doyoung won’t even pick up any more good projects these days.

+ Huh, they’re pretty but don’t match. Their onscreen chemistry was zero though.

+ Look at how long ago their posts were. Some of them even dates back to when they first met as guests on Mystery Village before the casting. They must have really hit it off if it’s been this long.

+ One is a popular actor. Handsome and quiet. Another is a pretty and kind singer. It’s a good looking couple. Let them date, I support them!

Jaehyun exits out of the article. His finger brings up his messages, hovering over Doyoung’s icon. But he never ends up clicking on it. Jaehyun throws his phone down and flops back onto his bed. He closes his eyes and tries to swallow down the sting in his throat.

What are you thinking right now, Doyoung?

Jaehyun isn’t known for his subtlety. Maybe it’s because he was taught to love things passionately. He has a bit of obsessive nature with the things that he develops an interest in, it becomes a part of him. When he likes something, it just shows. And his manager is no fool.

While driving, he casually brings it into the conversation. “So.. are the rumors about Kim Doyoung true?”

“I don’t know,” Jaehyun mumbles.

“Shouldn’t you ask?” His manager looks at him through the mirror. “I’ve seen the way you’re acting around Kim Doyoung. If the rumors aren’t true.. do you think he could potentially like you back?”

Jaehyun feels embarrassment crawl up his chest. “I’m not sure,” he mumbles. “It’s.. possible. But I think,” he contemplates on the thought that there are many variables to pursuing a relationship in this industry that makes it unfavorable, “...it might be difficult.”

“It might be good for your career if you two date,” his manager says.

Jaehyun huffs. Of course that's the conclusion he has. “I’m not doing it for publicity.”

“Still, you should think about it carefully. You saw how the reactions were online to the rumors.”

“There were people saying good things too,” Jaehyun defends. He doesn’t even know why he’s commenting on someone else’s dating scandal, all when he doesn’t even know if it’s true or not.

“Of course. But we should act carefully. Plan it out if you guys are going to date.”

We. Everything involves the agency. Jaehyun rolls his eyes, choosing to face look out the window. “I’m not acting on my feelings because I’m being careful. I know what’s at stake. Coming onto this show was a risk too.”

“And it was a good opportunity. Look at the posts that are trending about you online. The public really loves you.”

The posts that have gained popularity are starting to label Jaehyun as the “first love” type. 

Jaehyun restrains himself from rolling his eyes. His company and manager are always a bit too enthusiastic about taking risks, although Jaehyun acknowledges that it’s a good opportunity, people could also find him completely boring. That has happened many times with other celebrities who came onto variety shows.

“Well just think about it. Kim Doyoung isn’t a bad choice. The company will definitely approve of the relationship.”

The push makes Jaehyun reassess whether a relationship is worth pursuing at all.

Jaehyun walks for Saint Laurent. Coincidentally, Doyoung is the Korea Ambassador for Saint Laurent and they meet in one of the bustling hallways. Even when you’re in a scandal, the schedules don’t stop.

“I saw your walk,” Doyoung says just as they meet as Jaehyun descends from the stairway.

“Ah, I thought I saw your face in the crowd from afar.”

“You didn’t even look at me, you were looking ahead. How would you know?” Doyoung asks.

Jaehyun couldn’t be sure then, but he thought he saw what was a glimpse of a familiar presence. It’s funny how a person’s attention stays illuminated on a person they’re in love with, like a certain type of radar. 

He chuckles. “I just knew. There was something familiar.”

Doyoung’s lips dip in a manner of saying he’s unconvinced. “Sure,” he chirps and wraps the bomber jacket he has on tighter around himself. The hallways have a reputation of always being chilly.

There’s a stiffness to Doyoung’s shoulders as he holds himself. Jaehyun shuffles closer to the wall, in front of a couple of models chatting in their flowy dresses, shuffling closer to Doyoung. A few other people behind Doyoung’s shoulder shoot curious glances at them.

Is it true? The rumors?

Jealousy stings on his tongue. The question almost bursts from him. But it’s not the right time. Jaehyun feels the piercing gaze of others around and soothes his teeming hurt. There’s photographers, cameras, phones, and too many knowing gazes.

Jaehyun clears his throat instead. “You look good,” he says. “Very chic. Like a famous actor.”

Doyoung has a slicked back, wet look today. The white constellations on his black bomber jacket paired with his midnight blue silk shirt inside makes him look sleek. While he adorns a deeper shade of black in pants that clings to his legs, accentuating Doyoung’s height.

The tension on Doyoung’s shoulders melt. He chuckles. “I am a famous actor.”

“I know, I just meant that you look cool,” Jaehyun explains. “I don’t think a lot of people see that side of you much. We see it all the time on the show, even when it’s not prominent, but when you’re dressed like this, it shows so much better.”

Doyoung blinks like he’s taken aback by the sudden compliment. 

“Thanks..” he says, seemingly shy. “I think you looked cool too—back there,” he nods his head to the main showroom, “when you walked. It showed a different side to you.”

The corner of Jaehyun’s lips curve up in a smirk. “You mean you’ve fallen in love with my looks due to my walk on the runway.”

He means nothing by it. It’s just to tease Doyoung a little. A trick he does on everyone who sees him walk for the first time. But Doyoung surprises him.

“Yeah,” Doyoung says with a hint of bashfulness on his face. “I always mean it when I say that you’re handsome on the show. But I think today you’re extra handsome.”

Jaehyun’s heart picks up. In the middle of this hallway with all these people mingling and having conversations that are way too loud, his heart thumps, a good three times too hard and fast, and he’s the one embarrassed now.

“Why?” he asks, left with no words.

“What do you mean why?” Doyoung returns the question as if it should be obvious. But Jaehyun genuinely doesn’t know. 

The hands in Doyoung’s pocket wriggle around, stretching the fabric in wariness. “Isn’t there something charming about a person when he works? You looked like that, passionate and driven. I watched you—we all watched you diet and maintain yourself during shootings to prepare, but seeing your actual walk in front of me... it made my heart flutter.”

Doyoung should be careful with his words, Jaehyun decides, or else he’s going to fall deeper in love, uncaring of the consequences.

“Really?” Jaehyun laughs, without anything to say. He tilts his head back and his torso along with it, as if needing the distance to gather himself again. “Hearing you say that.. it makes me really happy.”

Doyoung is too dangerous.

Doyoung just tilts his smile up to him. “You should be.”

Even when Jaehyun is brewing with jealousy, toeing the line of whether to go towards Doyoung’s side or not, Doyoung always has a way of pulling him in. Whether he wants it or not.

In the end, he ended up eating all his questions and was kept in the dark.

The next shooting they had, it was raining. On top of that, they were having a fundraiser in the rain. The crew set up a booth in a big square downtown, and two teams created different designs for their hot chocolate and coffee. Whichever team generated the most money at the end of the two hours would win.

Jaehyun and Doyoung were on different teams and there was never really enough time between shootings to ask the Most Important Question. A few times, Jaehyun caught Doyoung staring at him. He wondered if Doyoung was hesitating then too. Just like Jaehyun did.

Johnny caught a cold the following day. In fact, he was whining about how he would have to miss the Christmas special if he didn’t get better faster. Jaehyun thought he was being dramatic until Johnny sent a voice message sounding like he was actually dying. He had never heard a person’s voice so raspy like that because of a cold.

So, Jaehyun, being a good friend, asked his mom for her famous ginger tea recipe. It tastes like straight vodka down your throat, but apparently it kills all the bacteria out too.

“Ah, you’re here too?”

“Oh,” Jaehyun says as he steps off the elevator and in front of Johnny’s door. He looks down at Doyoung’s hands, also holding a bag of medicine.

“I’m just bringing it in case he really didn’t have anyone to take care of him,” Doyoung says, raising the bag.

For a moment, he feels jealousy prick him in the heart. Doyoung is here just to give medicine to Johnny. “I didn’t know you guys were that close.”

Jaehyun’s gonna curse Johnny out later.

“He took care of me when I first started on the show. It made things easier.”

Jaehyun nods and before he can say anymore, the door opens.

“Wow, you guys didn’t both have to come,” Johnny says with the door half-open.

“We were seriously worried you might die,” Jaehyun says and shoves his way into the entryway.

From behind him, he could hear Doyoung saying, “I brought medicine.”

“I brought ginger tea. It helps kill all the bad stuff from your throat,” Jaehyun adds on.

“Wow,” Johnny says with an exaggerated voice and stumbles in front of them both with clasped hands. “That’s really okay. I’m fine now.”

Jaehyun purses his lips, feeling something off with how Johnny is posing defensively in front of them. He’s hiding something. 

From behind Johnny, a voice says, “Hey, just to let you know, you’ve run out of soap.”

Doyoung and Jaehyun turn to see Taeyong emerging from the hallway, patting his hands on his jeans. Their eyes both swivel back to Johnny, whose expression is a deer-in-headlights.

“Doyoung? Jaehyun? Why are you guys here?”

Doyoung crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes. “We’re here to deliver medicine because Johnny’s sick.” As if the reason wasn’t already obvious.

“Both of you? Together?”

“We met in the hallway,” Doyoung replies.

“Uh huh.” Taeyong doesn’t seem convinced.

Jaehyun coughs and mutters under his breath, “You’re here alone.”

Doyoung doesn’t have the same tact as him. Although with Taeyong, he never has. He raises his eyebrows, a smug smile tugging on his lips as he’s ready to start an argument. “Your apartment is not exactly close to here either, Taeyong.”

“That’s—”

“He’s just being nice. You know his personality,” Johnny interrupts. “Taeyong is always taking care of all of us on the show.”

“Uh huh,” Doyoung replies, copying Taeyong in the same fashion.

Johnny pulls his smile into a wide grin and claps. “Thanks for coming, you guys. I really appreciate it. I don’t need any more medicine though. So you should go on back before you catch my germs, okay?”

Johnny rushes them both towards the door, which both of them are happy to go.

“Gosh, I get it, Johnny,” Doyoung says as he slips on his shoes.

Just as Jaehyun is going to follow Doyoung out, Johnny stops him by his wrist and says discreetly, “Hey, stop torturing yourself, okay? Doyoung being here today, you know these chances don’t come often, right?”

Jaehyun purses his lips, almost wanting to be defiant, but he knows Johnny is just being a good friend. “Okay, I got it,” Jaehyun reassures him and wiggles out of the grip.

The dusty sky has already turned a midnight blue by the time Doyoung and Jaehyun step out of the complex.

Jaehyun looks out to the parking lot, feeling the night air hit him. “How did you get here? Did you drive?” He hopes for a couple more minutes with Doyoung.

Doyoung sniffles and shakes his head. “Actually, my place is pretty close to here. It’s only down the big curve on this street.. on the other side.”

“Ah...”

Doyoung steps off the curb onto the darkened concrete and swivels back to him. “Well..”

Jaehyun steps off the curb with him. “Should I send you off? It’s not that far anyway..” he says, hoping in his heart that Doyoung would say yes, because he desperately wished for more time. Whenever Jaehyun is with Doyoung, he always wants more time.

Doyoung lights up and chirps out, “Sure.”

Doyoung leads the way, and Jaehyun follows.

They spend half a block of the walk in peaceful silence. Just the ruffling of clothes and leaves below them sound out. But there’s a comfort in being close to Doyoung again, this close where their shoulders brush against each other.

“Has everything been well?” Jaehyun asks.

“Hm?”

“I mean,” Jaehyun flusters, not knowing how to bring the topic up, “I hope the.. rumors haven't been giving you a hard time.”

“Oh,” Doyoung says. “No, I don’t mind the rumors. I don’t read the comments too much.”

Doyoung called them rumors. Jaehyun nods, sighing internally in relief. “You seemed a bit tense. I didn’t want to assume anything.”

Doyoung takes a glance at him which Jaehyun catches. “I didn’t want certain people to get the wrong idea,” he replies. “Everyone was courteous but no one asked.. so I didn’t say anything, but we’re really just coworkers.”

Jaehyun exhales, but his heart jumps to his throat. The tug of a smile threatens him along the corners of his lips, but he bites down on his lower lip to suppress the elation. “I was curious.”

The admission is enough to make his palms sweat.

“Really? Why?” Doyoung asks innocently.

You know why, Jaehyun thinks.

“So you’re not dating anyone then,” he surmises instead.

There's a beat of silence that's filled with exactly two paces until Doyoung answers. Jaehyun almost bites his own tongue for asking at the same time that he wants to run away from hearing the answer.

Doyoung replies softly, almost delicately, “No. I’m single.”

Doyoung has said it before on the show. It’s impossible among their cast of celebrities to not mention the woes of being single or sharing relationship advice during their multiple episodes and expansive meetings with different individuals and missions, but that can all easily be a bluff. They all have the careers to think about in this industry.

But this is off-camera. This is an actual confirmation. Hope starts blooming in Jaehyun again.

The brief celebration inside Jaehyun is short, because Doyoung abruptly stops, catching Jaehyun off guard that he has to take one step back to meet him again.

“Well, here it is.” 

Doyoung stands in front of a short complex, right outside the gate. The light in the front shines on behind him.

“Ah,” Jaehyun says and puts his hands into his pockets, listless of all the things he still wants to say and all the time he feels like he doesn’t have.

“Do you want to come up? Have some coffee?” 

Doyoung blinks, innocuous as he asks Jaehyun this. To ask him such a presumptuous question with such an innocent face. Out of anyone, he doesn’t wish it was Doyoung. How easily swayed he is by the man in front of him. It’s unfair, Jaehyun thinks as he stares back at Doyoung.

But Doyoung stays completely still, his fingers twist together behind his back—waiting.

There are moments in a person’s lifetime where the decision they make may change everything forever. The road splits in front of Jaehyun, and there’s a choice. If he goes and if he says yes, it'll mean something more.

Jaehyun swallows and resigns to his feelings.

“Okay.”

The house Doyoung has is modest. It’s nothing like the empty homes they show on TV of celebrities. The kitchen counter isn’t clean, but there’s a sign that he cooks a lot. Spices and seasoning bottles line across the edge of the wall, under the cabinets, all in a ready row.

Coffee is fetched. The good kind.

In a short matter of minutes, between Doyoung saying “take a seat” and Jaehyun shuffling in slow movements, taking a slow lap around the living room; before sliding into a comfy chair at the counter, Doyoung has turned the espresso machine and the rich smell of the brew reaches Jaehyun’s nose.

“Your house is nice. It feels very.. warm.”

He hears Doyoung laugh from where he’s fetching a cup from the cabinet, his back turned away from Jaehyun.

“It’s a big place. Sometimes it gets lonely so I try to fill up the place with as much memorabilia that I can,” Doyoung says.

Jaehyun taps his fingers on the counter, doing his best to sink into the seat and not overthink the situation. He busies himself with panning his eyes over the furnishings of the house: marble countertop, white cabinets and drawers, the splash of gray in couches and chairs. It’s obvious that while Doyoung likes to make it homely, he likes a clean place.

Without making much noise, Doyoung slips into the seat beside him and places a cup in front of Jaehyun. The darkness of the coffee stirs at Jaehyun’s stomach as the scent becomes more powerful.

“You seem practiced at making coffee,” he mentions.

Doyoung folds his hands into his lap, leaning forward a bit in attentiveness. “I developed a tolerance for strong coffee since a lot of my hours shooting on set may be unexpectable and long. I had to learn.”

It’s just like Doyoung to adapt to something he doesn’t like for his work. He’s admirable like that. He knows which sacrifices he has to take if he wants to fulfill his passion.

The first flood of coffee into Jaehyun’s mouth has a grit of nutty taste to it. As a frequent coffee drinker, Jaehyun has tasted better but this taste is something he’ll treasure more than any other he’s tasted.

“It's good. The flavor is actually something I expect from a coffee shop.” Jaehyun grins into his cup. “You have skills, hyung.”

Doyoung watches him for a moment, holding the cup in his hands delicately. Then after he's had enough time to watch him, he puts his cup down. “Jaehyun, if you really just came here for coffee, I think.. I might be disappointed.”

Here he is, Kim Doyoung, pulling him in with his tricky words again. Jaehyun lets the cup settle onto the counter.

“Why?” Jaehyun swivels around in the chair, his knees knocking into Doyoung’s; then they match up, his knee slotting perfectly between Doyoung’s.

“Why do you think? If you keep asking me those kinds of questions,” creaks ring out as Doyoung leans forward and places both his hands by the sides of Jaehyun's chair, “offering to walk me home, agreeing to come up to my place this late at night,” and effectively traps Jaehyun in, whispering with his luring voice, “I just might make a mistake.” 

Jaehyun snakes his hand on top of Doyoung’s, the hand he had resting at his side. He meets Doyoung’s gaze, just as earnest and deep. He only notices now, as Doyoung is barely two inches away that his pupils are a deep brown, nearly black.

“Then let me make one too,” Jaehyun whispers and tips forward to meet Doyoung in a kiss.

It’s not chaste at all. Their lips touch mid-gasp, open-mouthed and lit up in fiery, almost like everything between them that had been silently said were exploding out.

Everything moves fast. 

Doyoung’s fingers slide up Jaehyun’s thigh and he gasps when Jaehyun presses them even closer as he pushes his chair back, pulling Doyoung in by his belt loops, their bodies flush against each other. The movement separates them with a slick pop when their lips part. Jaehyun flicks his tongue out onto his bottom lip, tasting nutty coffee, and Doyoung’s eyes follow.

“The bedroom’s down the hall,” Doyoung says hushed, his eyelashes fluttering with it.

As they bump into walls and shelves, a bottle of wine topples over, it's opening covered by a cap and not a cork. It hits Jaehyun on the shoulder, spilling over their clothes, and clacks onto the carpet, not broken but emptied. Jaehyun gasps as the deep red saturates the back of his clothing, watching as the color seeps into the white furs below their feet. Doyoung tells him to forget about it, he'll clean it up in the morning. But wine doesn't come out easily, almost always staining where it goes. Jaehyun knows he’s going to tip far over the line tonight as he’s walks backwards, matching every step Doyoung takes forward towards his bedroom.

Jaehyun leaves his shirt on the cold wooden floor on the way.

The sun is barely peeking through the windows as an alarm blares in the room. The rustling beside him is light and shortly after, Jaehyun hears the sound of water running. He feels warm, all cozied up in the covers. His fuzzy mind manages to stay alert enough to see Doyoung bustling out of the bathroom. As Jaehyun yawns and rubs a hand over his face, Doyoung pulls on a shirt. 

“Sorry, I have an early shooting,” he says hurriedly. Drops of water still hang onto Doyoung’s jaw as he comes up next to the bed.

Jaehyun rises, letting Doyoung’s covers fall with comfort. The cold hits him in the chest, sending shivers down each patch of his skin. His toes curl up. He waits. The scenic idea of Doyoung kissing him again over the fluffy cotton sheets never comes.

Instead, Doyoung clicks at his phone and then drops it into his pocket; and then says, “Can you make sure the door is locked when you leave?”

Jaehyun blinks through his blurry eyes. “Mm.”

Doyoung flashes a smile at him, and then the bedroom door is closing. It takes several moments for Jaehyun to stop staring at the door and start realizing that he’s completely alone in Doyoung’s bedroom. 

That’s it. No other exchanges or explanations. Just feel free to leave. 

Jaehyun turns his head to the side where Doyoung slept. A silhouette of his figure is still there from the morning. He drags his fingers over the center, through the white sheet that’s crumpled up in his form. It’s still warm. 

Jaehyun flops back onto Doyoung’s sheets, feeling the heat of the sheets transferring onto his skin and he wonders. Then what did last night mean?

Jaehyun thinks about how Doyoung leaned up onto him and said “I just might make a mistake.”

A mistake.

Maybe when he woke up that morning, that’s what it still was for him.

Jaehyun sort of regrets that he took Doyoung's clothing to go home that day. He'll have to give it back or suffer from humiliation for being a thief. For some reason, he remembers that when he left, the wine bottle had been upright on the shelf again, but the deep red of the wine stain had been left on Doyoung's carpet.

It’s nearing Christmas, so lights are strung up all around. The staff take them to a daycare to spread the Christmas joy and play with the kids. Jaehyun loves kids. He thinks they’re adorable with their stubby little arms and legs and infinite energy and fearless words. They know so little about the world, yet they aren’t afraid at all.

“Chenle, be careful!” Jaehyun catches him before he falls. 

Chenle giggles and wraps his arms around Jaehyun’s leg. Earlier, he and Jisung were climbing Johnny like two little monkeys onto a tree.

“You wanna know a secret, hyung-ah?” He reaches up on his tip toes and says in a voice that’s not really whispering, “I’m giving Jisung a present!”

The boy divulges into giggles so high-pitched and happy, Jaehyun thinks he must’ve been waiting to tell something this for a very long time.

Jaehyun lowers himself to Chenle's height. “Yeah? What are you giving him?”

Chenle takes several huffs from all that running he did. “I'm gonna give him a mouse.”

Jaehyun does a double take. “A what?”

“A mouse!”

Chenle yells out for him to wait as he ruffles through his backpack then runs back. “This!” he says with big huffs, shoving a stuffed animal in his face. “My mommy made it!”

The mouse Chenle takes out seems well loved. It's a shade of mud brown, and although atrocious, it strikes him as odd because kids usually like to make things and give them to each other.

“Oh?” Jaehyun raises the mouse up in his palms. “It's very cute, Chenle.”

“Yeah, mommy said that I should give him something that means a lot. I’ve had this since I was a baby so I’m giving it to him!”

“That’s very sweet of you. I’m sure he’ll like it.”

“Hyung,” Chenle calls him closer with his little chubby fingers. Jaehyun leans in so Chenle can whisper into his ears. “Are you and Ahjussi boyfriends?”

When they all arrived, Chenle took to calling Doyoung ahjussi while he called Jaehyun hyung. Some part of Jaehyun knows that Chenle can read the aggravation on Doyoung's face as Chenle calls him that and delights in annoying him.

“Well, why would you ask that?”

Chenle just swings his hands together innocently. “Oh, Ahjussi looks all shy around you.”

“What do you mean shy?” He asks delicately as if he were the child and Chenle was the adult.

“I mean,” Chenle takes another look around him and leans in to speak into Jaehyun’s ear, not-whispering again, “he looks around you and never straight into your eyes, hyung. You act like Jisung around me.”

How could children compare to adults? But Jaehyun humors Chenle some more. “Jisung acted like that?” Jaehyun asks in exaggerated tones.

“Yeah! Before I confessed! And now we’re boyfriends!” Chenle yells enthusiastically.

Oh boy, do their parents know about this?

Jaehyun hugs Chenle’s little body in his orange overalls closer. “Yeah? You must be an expert, Chenle.”

“Of course! It’s so easy! I just went to Jisung on the playground and gave him a bracelet we made in class and asked him out. Mommy said you have to show your feelings with your actions when you want to convince someone you’re being honest.”

Jaehyun laughs and pets Chenle over the head. “You sound very smart.”

“So why aren’t you and Ahjussi dating?” Chenle asks again, almost as if he were annoyed.

Jaehyun hums. “Well... I don’t know how to show my sincerity yet.”

“You should just give him a card and.. flowers! Everyone loves flowers. We made a lot of cards in class to say how happy and thankful we are earlier!”

“Mm,” Jaehyun nods and pats Chenle over the head. “You have such good ideas.”

Chenle brightens even more. This boy really likes praise.

“Why don’t you put your mouse back in your backpack before Jisung sees it.”

Chenle gasps cutely and his little feet dashes to the back to stuff the doll before anyone could see.

Jaehyun crows in his head. When did kids get so much confidence these days? Having boyfriends when they were in elementary school already. It's really amazing. They're like little adults.

When the shoot wraps up, they all wait for their respective cars to drive by so that their managers will pick them up.

Doyoung stands with Jaehyun outside the school while the staff bustle and clean up their equipment. Some staff linger around for additional shots as they kids leave with their parents and some don't want to let go yet.

Shotaro clings to Yuta in particular when his mother comes. He's a quiet crier with big, fat tears rolling down his face like a never-ending tap as his mom carries him. He blinks as he looks off from his mom's shoulder and reaches his short arm towards Yuta, waving bye.

“Oh, they're breaking my heart,” Yuta says as he bends his knuckles in a little wave to the kid.

Chenle flies by. “Byebye, Jaehyun hyung! Byebye Ahjussi!”

He meets Jisung in the middle of his running, clasping hands with the other boy as they both meet their parents at the gate. Jisung holds Chenle's raggedy mouse in his hands, flopping as he waves it while running.

“Oh, my manager's here.”

Doyoung takes a few steps off, but Jaehyun holds him by his elbow. "Wait, hyung."

It catches Doyoung off-guard. He turns back with a questioning gaze, glancing at Jaehyun’s hold on his elbow.

"Uhm," Jaehyun clears his throat, "I have something for you.”

He can’t believe taking advice from a kid. He really wondered if what Chenle saw was true. Seomtimes, you just need to see the world from a pure lens, unclouded and untouched by society's stains. Jaehyun takes out a card from his pocket and sticks it out for him to take.

"Huh?"

The sides of Jaehyun's ears flushes at an alarming rate like a gradient of pink to red. "Read it later and then text me or something.”

Doyoung twirls the card around between his fingers, peering at the twinkling sparkles on the christmas tree stamp. The rumbling of his manager’s car comes up as the sound of its tires crushing the dirt fill the space between them. It catches Doyoung's attention away.

“I have to go. Thanks, Jaehyun-ah,” he says as he turns away.

Doyoung wraps his coat around himself once and then jogs to the car waiting for him. He flashes another glance at Jaehyun once inside, heaving into the car, and then he rolls down his window as the car rolls by, leaving Jaehyun with one last glimpse of his elated face.

Jaehyun’s heart can’t stop beating. He thinks it might be a bust as he waves the kids goodbye, them not knowing that half his heart is broken.

Then his phone rings. It’s Doyoung’s name flashing on the screen.

Did he read it already? Jaehyun tries not to hold his breath as he thinks of the words on the card.

Hyung, if you’d like it,
will you spend Christmas Eve with me?

“Hello?” he speaks into the receiver.

The sound of breathing is what Jaehyun hears first. Then Doyoung speaks. “Christmas Eve. How should we celebrate?”

Jaehyun exhales, his breath splitting into relieved chuckles. “I have this really good bottle of wine I’ve been waiting to try out. How about I bring it to your place?”

The lights on the street celebrating Christmas hang merrily on Doyoung’s street. It’s quite a view from Doyoung’s window in his living room.

“I lit the candles, Jaehyun. Hurry and come blow it out.”

Jaehyun slides back down by Doyoung where they’ve poured two glasses full of wine and a cake laid in front of them. Doyoung bought the cake. Jaehyun brought the wine. This is how Doyoung's ideal Christmas Eve is like, Jaehyun figures.

“Make a wish!” Doyoung claps.

Jaehyun chuckles, “This isn’t a birthday cake.”

“Then why did you buy candles?” Doyoung accuses. “Just wish for something for the new year, okay?”

“Mm...” Jaehyun hums and briefly closes his eyes. When he opens them back up, he takes a big breath and blows it out with Doyoung.

They both clank glasses and drink the wine Jaehyun brought.

“So what did you wish for?”

Jaehyun takes another sip of the wine, raising an eyebrow. “Are you really asking?”

Doyoung shrugs. “Yeah, why not? It’s not a birthday wish. What do you want for the new year?”

Jaehyun stretches out his legs and puts the wine glass down. The answer is easy. As he closed his eyes, his wish came to him so naturally. “Well, I wished that next year, I could spend Christmas like this again.”

“Eating cake and drinking wine?” Doyoung teases.

“With you.”

Doyoung pulls his knees up to his chest, leaning his head down on them while peering at Jaehyun. His eyes that normally are sharp and strict grow round, as if wanting to take more of Jaehyun than he already has. “You’re giving two of your Christmas Eves to me?”

“And more,” Jaehyun confesses. “I hope.”

A pensive expression comes over Doyoung. “Christmas Eve is spent with lovers, Jaehyun-ah.”

“Then what’s your answer?” Jaehyun leans his body closer to face Doyoung, his hand splaying on the ground where he could feel the soft fabric of Doyoung’s sweater pooling around him. “Do you want to spend Christmas Eve with me next year?”

Doyoung's eyes scan him again, and Jaehyun thinks for a moment, Doyoung will say no. “If you can put up with me for that long,” Doyoung says with his smile showing off his pink gums. “Why not?”

Jaehyun laughs, surprised at how easy Doyoung makes it. “You know I can last long,” he says with a wink.

Doyoung shuffles closer, tucking his knees underneath him, and hooks his fingers around Jaehyun’s collar. “I feel bad..” he says, “people will be so jealous.” His eyes flicker up, dipping into hesitance. “Will you still want to put up with me then?”

Jaehyun feels Doyoung’s thumb pressing along his collarbone, his touch searing. “My agency wants to plan it out,” he admits. “My manager says we could go public. Will you be able to put up with me?”

Think of all the comments you’d have to endure. Jaehyun almost pleads with his eyes, part of him wishing Doyoung would reject him and part of him wishing he’d pull him closer. This man is either an angel bringing his greatest happiness or a devil leading him to his pitfall.

Doyoung bites down on his bottom lip, two slanted brows downward. “That’s quite devious of them.”

“I know.”

“But—” Doyoung swings a leg over Jaehyun’s lap and plants himself down, just like the night Jaehyun was invited over, “I said I was ready to make a mistake. I just don’t regret it.”

Jaehyun tries not to shudder and fails. His skin prickles up with goosebumps. He fastens his hands to grip Doyoung at the waist. “I don’t regret it either.”

Doyoung tips forward, smiling onto Jaehyun’s lips. “Then it’s a deal. We can spend Christmas Eve next year like this.”

This time, the taste of Doyoung’s lips aren’t coffee, but rich and smooth wine. Jaehyun thinks he’ll remember each Christmas like this, with the taste of wine on his tongue.