Work Text:
it was a long time coming. they all knew it, and maybe, they liked to pretend it wasn't. that even if aether did find his sister, he wouldn't leave. after all, they'd been through so much together, him and everyone he'd met along his long, arduous journey. there'd been friendships and enemies made, difficult battles fought, and so much discovered about himself along the way. it was much more than he ever expected to find in teyvat.
the closer they had come to finding lumine, the more there was that look in everyone's eyes, that stifled sadness at the inevitable. everyone knew since the start that aether and lumine were somewhat mysterious twins, who traveled between universes. there had always been something otherworldly about them, something powerful and nearly untouchable. but aether had seemed so human, so lovable beyond that. despite that impenetrable layer of depth, there was something that drew everyone in to him and made them like him instantly.
xiao had been a victim of it, too.
aether would tease him if he knew he had referred to himself as a victim, since he was more than willing. xiao was known as someone who was even more untouchable, and not in a way that drew people in. rather, he was prickly, and mean, and pushed people away. they feared him, because they knew what he was and what he was capable of. to a mortal, someone like him was beyond them. there were only a few who didn't—why he wasn't sure—and there was nothing about them that was so magnetizing as there was with aether.
from the moment they met, xiao knew he was different, and that he would break through his carefully crafted walls. with mortals, he always made sure there was distance between them. he had no patience for them. but aether... he carried himself like a mortal, and was presumably one, but there was something more to him, something intangible. at first, he thought he had been sensing the fact that he was completely foreign to their world, from some other universe altogether. an unimaginable place, and the only place, to xiao, that was capable of creating a person so beautiful.
thoughts like those had made xiao angry at first. he was angry at himself for being so weak, so sentimental, especially for someone like aether who he wasn't sure deserved the affection of a being like himself. the adepti had been around for thousands of years, and their concerns were with the people, but they also weren't in a way. yes, in terms of duty, they were to protect the humans, but when it came to personal matters... there would always be a disconnect. aether was the first person to make him feel like there didn't have to be.
a lot had happened since that first day they met at the inn, when aether had run around like a fool just to please him. it was typical of humans, always trying to please the adepti and get something out of them, but the manner in which aether did it felt sincere. he genuinely wanted xiao's help—it was unselfish and pure. xiao had never met a person so pure, and it fascinated him. luckily, his hidden desire to see aether again and learn more about him was fulfilled, and in return, aether was given a piece of him that no one else ever held, and never would hold again.
over time, aether softened him. perhaps xiao had been soft from the beginning, hard walls only built up over his thousands of years of witnessing the struggles of the gods and mortals around him. he'd seen where strong emotions had gotten people, and didn't want to succumb to that himself. when it came to aether, he felt compelled to let go of that. and little by little, he did.
on stagnant days, with no leads and no goals, aether would come find him at the wangshu inn, and they would share a round of dandelion wine around low candlelight and share stories of their adventures. they would sometimes talk into the early hours, the innkeeper not wanting to disturb either of them, especially when it was the only time she could see xiao smile. it was like he couldn't help himself. when he watched aether speak about anything, he felt a calm wash over him. aether could talk for hours about any one thing, and xiao would just listen, occasionally making remarks or nodding along so aether would know he was listening. it was no burden to him, when the sight in front of him was so pleasant to look at—aether was all gorgeous blonde hair and sparkling amber eyes that glistened like stones, reflecting the flicker of a candle back at him. his cheeks would be rosy from the wine, and everything about him just shone. xiao couldn't take his eyes off of him even if he tried.
eventually, the glimmer in aether's eyes turned into something deeper, something more heady. when the conversation would dry up as the hours went on, and their words were replaced by a subtle, unspoken heat. xiao knew what aether wanted, and it wasn't one-sided. it was one night of many where they tumbled into aether's bed together, struggling to be quiet because of the paper-thin walls. it wasn't xiao's first, but it may well be his last, because he was sure after that point that there would never be another like aether.
it wasn't those nights, but the time after that really stayed with him, though. the hours in which aether would sleep in his arms and xiao would stay awake, running his hands through the endless golden waves of his hair and just thinking. it was rare for an adepti to sleep for the purpose of rest. if he wanted to, he could, and sometimes he did, but he preferred to just watch aether sleep instead. he looked peaceful like that—without worries, without pain. and xiao knew there was so much pain hidden behind that beauty. he wished he could destroy it for him.
their parting was bittersweet. it seemed like aether had wanted to placate him and give him empty comforts—that they would see each other again someday, or something like that. but the both of them knew it was untrue. it was aether and lumine's destiny to travel through the universes to find what they sought—it was their life mission. lumine had already come so close to being lost, xiao knew they didn't want to risk it again (though aether had assured him quietly many times that being in teyvat—and in xiao's arms—was the closest he had ever felt to home).
without aether, life returned to normal. xiao despised feeling so cold again, and so hardened to the world around him. even the people he had met because of aether became distant to him once again. somewhere inside, he hoped it was because they knew his pain. the loss of them was painful to him, too, but he had come to learn that the life of an adepti was to be without anyone else but his own, those of which had little interest in him.
xiao took to hanging around the inn with nothing to do on many days, those days typically being ones in which aether would normally join him and narrate something fantastical. it was like he was waiting for his return—he knew it was pathetic but he couldn't help it. the inconsequential place had become meaningful to him, over time, and allowed him to reminisce where it wouldn't hurt so much.
it was a day like any other, with xiao leaning over the railing and looking over the landscape of liyue, aether on his mind as always, when something glimmered out of the corner of his eye. for a split second, he thought it was him. it sparkled just like he did, but when he turned his head, it was only a crystalfly. something he had seen thousands of times, no doubt, but took him by surprise. its wings shone gently—a beautiful blue-green just like aether's anemo—and it fluttered along in front of him without a thought, leaving a trail of glittering light behind. it was so beautiful, not unlike someone else he knew, that xiao wanted to catch it and keep it with him forever.
if only he could've done the same with aether.
despite the melancholy he felt at the sight of the little creature, he felt a smile on his face. it was small, but it was there nonetheless—the kind that aether used to say reminded him of a gentle wave. nothing made him want to smile more than that. alongside it, though, came a tear, that which surprised xiao and broke his trance. never before in his long life had he cried at anything. leave it to aether to make it possible, the one who was capable of changing him so deeply. xiao smiled and laughed under his breath, fond but a little bit bitter all the same, and wiped his eyes.
the want to see aether again was the strongest thing xiao had ever felt. it was irrational, and emotional, he knew that. but it was inescapable. the thought that his light could return to him filled him with joy. maybe someday, after their quest had been completed, they would return. maybe then, xiao could love him properly, and not fleetingly. it was hope that he had, again, something he had never had before, but he clung to it like nothing else. all he needed was a maybe to keep him whole.