Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

"I need a fake date," Alex says the moment he walks in, letting himself fall down on the armchair.

Reggie's head shoots up from where he is lying on the floor next to the couch, hitting the leg of the coffee table in the process. Luke looks up from his songbook at the whine Reggie lets out.

"Why would you need a fake date?" Reggie asks, rubbing over the sore spot. Luke kicks his shoulder blade softly, grinning down at him. Reggie sticks his tongue out, before turning back at Alex, who is looking more distressed with each passing second. Reggie stares at him with increasing worry, missing the way Luke pokes at Bobby, who is listening to music on a Discman. He pushes his headphones off his ears just as Alex continues,

"It’s my family's annual Christmas party. Last year I was able to skip out at the last minute, but my parents told me if I did that again, I can expect to not live there much longer.”

“They'll kick you out?” Bobby asked, interrupting Alex.

“They said so and I know they would. I could hear them in the months they were ignoring me, talking about what to do with me,” Alex continues, starting to sound desperate. He throws his head back, hitting the backrest hard. Reggie winches at the sound. "And if I don't bring a date, they will pair me up with a girl, maybe even go as far as marriage."

"Marriage?" Reggie says, his voice shrill and loud. Bobby pushes himself upright and Luke closes his notebook, telling him he is not alone in his reaction.

"Yeah," Alex sighs, peeking shortly at him before his head falls back again, “not immediately of course, but they think the gayness will magically–” he makes jazz hands–“disappear when I find the right girl.”

"What the hell," Luke says winded, "when is it?”

Alex shakes his head, as if able to read Luke’s mind.

“They would know we would be faking it though,” Alex sighs, miserable. “They know we dated before.”

Luke mutters a curse under his breath, opening and closing his notebook, before throwing it over Reggie’s head at the coffee table. He misses.

Bobby shrugs, but his shoulders stay unnaturally tense, "My mom would kill me if I'm not with her on Christmas, I’m so sorry dude."

Alex shakes his head, turning to look at Reggie with pleading eyes. Reggie scrambles further upright.

"Yeah, of course man," he says, the words not passing a single filter on their way out. “Of course I’ll be your date for Christmas.”

Alex smiles at him relieved, and Reggie gets a good look at the watery redness in Alex's eyes and the way his hands are shaking. He almost hits the coffee table again as he shoots up, pulling Alex out of the chair and into a hug. The first second Alex stands frozen, but then he wraps his arms around him tightly, moving closer. Reggie holds on, the boy trembling in his arms, his ragged breath muffled by the way he presses his face against Reggie’s flannel.

“It’s going to be alright,” Reggie mutters into Alex’s hair, trying to sooth him, making slow circles on his back. “Everything is okay.”

“I think we should cancel band practise for toda–” Luke's sentence is cut off by the whimper Alex lets out. He pushes himself more against Reggie, crawling into himself.

“Let’s watch a movie instead,” Bobby pipes up, passing them to get to the loft. His eyes meet Reggie’s and he tilts his head, a silent question. Reggie gives him the thumbs up, keeping up the flow of soft reassurances.

“Yeah, let’s,” Luke says, placing his hand on Reggie's shoulder, squeezing. He moves back, the sound of him pulling out the couch loud as metal scraps over the concrete floor.

Reggie pulls Alex down with himself as he lays down on the couch. Alex curls up, clinging onto him. Luke and Bobby move around them, setting up the movie. When the intro music starts playing, Alex releases the deathgrip he has on Reggie’s flannel, blood returning to his knuckles. Luke lays his hand down over Alex’s as he and Bobby settle on either side of them. By the time the movie begins, Alex’s breathing has calmed down. His muscles visibly relax.

Around twenty minutes into the movie Alex softly starts snoring, his head resting in the crook of Reggie’s neck. Bobby turns the volume even lower, the wonky words of the subtitles the only tell about what the characters are saying. Reggie softly brushes through Alex's hair, removing knots with gentle fingers.

After an hour Bobby detaches himself from the couch, sending them an apologetic smile. ‘Job’ he mouths, before he packs up his guitar. Alex stirs briefly, his back now exposed to the cold air.

“Good luck,” Reggie whispers, as Bobby puts on his jacket.

He smiles at them a last time before closing the doors softly. Alex unconsciously curls more around him, pushing his nose against Reggie’s collar.

“You think they would really kick him out?” Reggie whispers, glancing down at Alex's relaxed face, before looking at Luke. The pained look in Luke’s eyes tells him enough. Still, he waits, hoping for Luke to tell him otherwise.

“It’s going to be all right, Reg,” Luke says instead, placing his arm around his shoulder, leaning against him. Reggie smiles up at him, but it doesn’t feel right. He drops his smile. “I have to go soon,” Luke says, glancing at Alex. He gently pulls his hand out of Alex’s loose grasp.

“Your parents?” Reggie asks.

Luke nods, pushing himself off the couch, slipping his feet into his shoes.

“Do you want to keep watching, because otherwise I’ll put everything away,” Luke asks, pointing at the movie with his thumb.

“Nah, I honestly have no idea what is happening at all.”

“I think none of us did.”

Reggie chuckles at that, and Luke grins at him proudly. The movie stops abruptly, not that Reggie pays it any attention. He watches Alex move as he breaths, calm and steady, only glancing up when Luke steps close again.

“I’m going to go, don’t make it too late, because you still have to get home.”

Reggie nods, fatigue washing over him. He yawns.

“Exactly,” Luke smiles, pushing his guitar bag higher on his back, hand on the handle of the door, “Will you be alright?”

Reggie knows Luke is talking about more than them getting home, but he decides to only respond to that part. “I will.”

“Goodnight,” Luke says, opening the door.

“Goodnight.”

Luke smiles at him a last time before the door falls shut. Alex stirs, and Reggie watches him wake up, looking up at him with blurry eyes.

“Did you sleep well?” Reggie asks softly.

Alex nods, pushing himself up further to rub in his eyes. Reggie mourns the loss of contact, before sitting up himself. “Where’re the rest?” Alex mutters, straightening his hoodie.

“Bobby had work and Luke just left a second ago,” Reggie says. “We should probably get going too.” He stands up, offering his hand to Alex. He takes it, who lets himself be pulled up.

By the time he has grabs his bass guitar, Alex is more awake.

“Let’s go.” Reggie says, holding the door open for Alex. Alex doesn’t say anything when he turns to walk in the direction of Alex’s house instead of his own.

“Should we?” Reggie asks awkwardly, slipping his hand in Alex’s anyways. They both come to a halt when he does, a couple of meters from the nearest streetlight. Alex stares down at their hands, before looking up at him.

“I mean, if we’re dating and I’m bringing you home, we should hold hands right?” Reggie asks, feeling his cheeks heat up. He chuckles, but it doesn’t sound right even to his own ears.

“Yeah.” Alex glances down again. Seconds turn into minutes, but he doesn’t continue.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he clears his throat. “You’re right.” He intertwines their fingers, resuming walking. Reggie follows, his cheeks flustered.

“We should talk things through and make a plan, so when people ask anything, we both say the same,” Alex says suddenly, glancing at him from the corner of his eye.

"Like our relationship background, but made up?"

Alex nods in response.

“So when did we get together?” Reggie asks, turning so he is walking backwards in front of Alex, still holding onto his hand.

“It can’t be too long ago, but also not too short.”

“Dude, that is not helping,” Reggie laughs, an ease taking over.

Alex shrugs his shoulders, a smile finding a way onto his lips as well.

“Okay, but what do you think of half a week after thanksgiving, so no one can ask why you didn’t say anything then.”

“Okay nice, but how did we get together?” Alex retorts, speaking like it is a challenge, the corner of his mouth twisting up.

“Uhmm, well I clearly asked you out, because you wouldn’t do it.”

“Hey!” Alex says, insulted, “I ain’t a coward.”

“Sure, sure,” Reggie says, rolling his eyes. “You can be the one that asked me out if you feel so offended by it.” He laughs, sticking his tongue out at Alex when he lets out an exaggerated grasp, placing his hand over his heart.

“You’re being so mean, don’t know if I want you as my fake date anymore.”

“I’m giving you what you want, and you threaten me with this,” Reggie breathes out, playing hurt.

"I think I'm fully in my rights," Alex says, pulling on Reggie’s hand, causing him to stumble. Reggie smashes against him, causing them to almost fall backwards. Alex is able to keep them standing, his arm around his waist. His hand is hot against his skin where his jacket had ridden up.

“You good?” Alex asks, his face so close that Reggie could count his lashes. Alex’s cheeks are as red as his own feel, his skin burning under Alex’s fingers.

“Yeah,” Reggie breathes, unable to move away. Alex's eyes are warm, contrasting with the sharp blue light that illuminates him from behind, creating a halo around him. The corner of Alex’s lip twists up, as he smiles down at him. Reggie’s mind draws a blank, as he just stares up at him, unable to form any thoughts.

“Good,” Alex mutters.

The wind drags past them, causing Reggie to shiver. He blinks, suddenly becoming awfully aware of how close they really are. Alex seems to realize at the same time, letting go of his waist and stepping back, face as pink as his hoodie.

Reggie swallows thickly, shoving all the thoughts that rush back to him deep down. He pulls on Alex’s hand that is still in his, even when it is warm and clammy, causing them to start walking again.

Reggie’s heart is loud in his ears when they come to a halt before the entrance of Alex’s house. “How do we tell your parents, you know, that I’m your date?” He keeps his eyes trained on the house. Once it had been welcoming and bright, but that isn’t the case anymore.

Alex shakes his head, face morphed into a form of fear as he glances between the dark living room window and his sneakers.

"I can kiss your cheek," Reggie whispers as he leans closer, squeezing Alex's hand softly.

"My parents will see," Alex whispers back, looking back at the black gaping squares that are the windows. They both know his parents are there; they just can't see them. They learned from Luke’s mistake.

"I know, that’s the point."

"Okay."

Reggie leans even closer, softly brushing his lips over Alex's cheek, the door opens almost immediately, causing Alex to jump back in reflex.

Alex's father makes his way down to them with broad, angry steps.

"Sir," Reggie says as a form of greeting, wanting to step in front of Alex.

"Reginald," he says cold, his eyes scanning over him, leaving Reggie squeezing Alex’s hand tighter. He sees the movement. His eyes focus on their still intertwined hands, before he looks up at Alex with dissatisfaction. Alex tries to let go of Reggie's hand, but Reggie holds on.

"I assume that he will be joining us for Christmas," he asks Alex, merely suggesting that it is a question.

The boy sinks into himself at his father's voice, squeezing Reggie's hand hard. "Yeah," Alex clears his throat, glancing sideways at Reggie, "yes, he would like to come too, if that's possible."

"As long as there isn't any inappropriate behaviour and you will behave accordingly, I see no reason not to," he says, sounding like he would rather choke than to let Reggie be there.

Alex's father doesn’t gives him a second glance when he says. "Don't bother with gifts." Then he turns around, walking back towards the house.

"That means I need to buy them gifts and they won't buy me anything right?" Reggie whispers, breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Alex says, his eyes on his father's back until the door slams shut.

Reggie flinches, his hand falling out of Alex’s, finding the edge of his flannel instead. "Man, I hate your father."

"Yeah,” Alex sighs. “Me too."

Chapter Text

"Reggie, I mean it," Luke says loudly, sounding exasperated.

"Luke, I'm his fake date, nothing more," Reggie hisses back under his breath, but his voice is audible from where Alex stands outside, his hand hovering over the handle of the studio's doors. The words hit him like a truck, even though he knows Reggie is completely right.

He swallows, forcing himself to act normal as he pulls the door open. Reggie immediately looks his way, pink spots on his face and eyes widening slightly. He looks away before he can.

“Hey guys,” Alex greets them, walking around his drums to place his bag behind them, giving himself a reason to avoid looking at Reggie.

“Hey, how was suit fitting?” Luke asks, grinning like he knows exactly how it went, kindly acting as if he doesn’t see right through Alex's act.

"An absolute delight," Alex groans in response, the sarcasm dripping out of his voice. "I really don't get why I need tailored clothes. I t's not like I ever wear it outside of this one event."

"I have formal clothing, but nothing as fancy as that sounds," Reggie says, tying his flannel around his waist, eyeing his own clothes.

"You will be fine," Alex dismisses, "I think my mom wants everything to be perfect, because she is the one hosting this year."

Reggie frowns slightly, tugging on his sleeve unconsciously.

He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, Alex continues, “If she wants it to be perfect , then she shouldn’t have insisted on me being there.” He winks at the end of the statement, his cheeks heating up the moment he realizes what he did.

Reggie shrugs his shoulders, but he smiles softly before turning around, kneeling next to his backpack.

Alex's heart flutters, before he pushes that feeling deep, deep down. Luke is watching him when he turns back, eyebrow raised knowingly, which Alex doesn’t like at all. Luke nods at Reggie expectantly. Alex silently shakes his head, glancing at Reggie’s back as the bassist rummages through his bag.

Luke rolls his eyes, before walking to the doors, kicking Reggie softly when he passes him. Reggie looks up offended, but Luke is already halfway outside.

“I’m going to check if Bobby is close,” he tells them before disappearing.

Reggie glances at him over his shoulder, the back of his neck turning red, before returning to his bag.

“Regs,” Alex says, breaking the silence as it becomes clear Reggie isn’t going to find whatever he is looking for. His voice causes the boy to look his way with big eyes. “If you don’t want to go through with this, please tell me.”

“No, no,” Reggie scrambles upright, leaving his bag half open on the floor, “I’m good with it.” He sounds almost breathless.

“You sure?”

Reggie nods with a bright smile , but Alex has known him longer than today. The way Reggie’s hand curls almost unconsciously around the end of his sleeve. The way his smile is too happy, even for Reggie. The way he can’t look him in the eyes, when Alex is normally the one that can’t keep eye contact for more than a few seconds.

“Hey, hey,” he says softly, trying to get Reggie’s attention. “You know you can tell me anything right?”

“Yeah, I know.”

Alex offers him a smile. Reggie carefully grins back at him.

“It’s going to be okay.”

…

I’m not going to be okay.

Alex paces around in his room, a half filled suitcase on his bed. C lothes are lying on the floor, thrown in the general direction of his bed. H e can hear his parents walking around downstairs while loudly discussing the route they're going to take.

"You know exactly what you have to do, just do it," he scolds himself, his heart beating unnecessarily fast, "it's the same as last year. As every year. I t isn't a big deal." His heart ignore s him. He starts drumming on his leg with his fingers in the rhythm of their latest song, muttering the words to the empty room, t rying to ground himself.

He wishes one of the guys was here. T hey are much better at pulling him back to reality than he is at it.

“You’re going to be okay,” he tells himself, just like he told Reggie a few days ago. But the words seem more like a suggestion than the promise they should be now that he’s directing them at himself.

There is a soft knock on his window, almost inaudible above the noise of his own thoughts. Still Alex jumps at the sound. He takes a second to compose himself, only now realizing he stopped walking. Then there is another gentle knock, now louder only because of his calmer mind. He rushes over, pulling his curtains to the side.

The moment Luke sees him, he pushes Alex's window up, slipping smoothly into the room. Alex stopped locking his window a long time ago, done with having to get up for years to let either of the boys in. It shows in the way Luke effortlessly climbs in, shutting the window behind himself.

Luke eyes the untouched suitcase before pushing it unceremonious ly to the side to give himself space to sit.

"I see you're almost done packing," he says, grinning slightly.

Alex shakes his head, looking with distaste at the heap of clothes. "Not really, my parents only told me today how long we will be staying," Alex sighs, letting himself fall down on his desk chair, feeling all resistance leave him.

"Why? Haven't they been planning this for months?" Luke pulls a pair of trousers out of the pile, folding them up.

"Yeah they have, but they said it was a surprise, as if I don't know where we will go." Alex spins around, looking at his ceiling. " T hey are aware that I like to know things clearly ahead of time, instead of keeping them unclear."

Luke shakes his head, refold ing a hoodie.

“I think it has to do with the gay thing,” he explains, even though he knows Luke knows. “Two years ago they told me days in advance and only one thing has changed over that time.”

“It’s stupid,” Luke huffs, picking up a pair of gloves that lay close to his feet on the floor. “You didn’t change.”

Alex shrugs his shoulder, spinning around and looking at Luke over the backrest . "But why are you here?" Alex asks, drumming his fingers on his thighs. He hopes it doesn't come off as rude, despite knowing Luke will tell him if he does.

"I just don't get it," Luke says, as he just pulls all the discarded clothes out of the suitcase, piling them on Alex’s pillow. "I did all my chores and was softly playing on my guitar in my room, my acoustic one, and then my mom came in and just started scolding me. Telling me I should be catching up on school work or that I could join them for an evening."

Alex winces, pushing himself up off the chair.

“And you don’t have to tell me she wants the best for me, because I know.”

Alex offers a shirt from the floor and Luke takes it , hands quick and skilled as he folds that too, eyes squeezed shut in frustration.

“It sucks,” Alex sighs, because it simply does. One might say that Luke’s mom disagreeing with Luke’s love of music was different from Alex’s parents disagreeing with him being gay, but he didn’t see it that way. Luke lives music, it was just as much part of him as being gay was for Alex.

“It does,” Luke agrees and Alex wonders if Luke sees the same similarities in their situations. Instead of asking, he moves towards the door.

“I got to get my toothbrush and all that. You good with being alone for a second?”

Luke gives him the thumbs up.

Alex shuts the door behind him, before peek ing over the balustrade. He is just in time to see his dad move a big box next to the front door. He doesn’t look up the stairs as he turns around, disappearing back to the where he came from.

“Alex! Are you finished yet?” his mom yells from out of sight.

“No,” he shouts back, “need to get my toiletries and still put in—”

“Just make sure you are finished in half an hour,” she interrupts.

Alex presses his lips together , averting his eyes from the door.

“Yes mom,” he says, letting go of the railing. He hurries into the bathroom and collects his things, half expecting one of his parents to be standing in his room when he slips back in.

He lets out a relieved breath when only Luke is there, sitting on his bed, a neat pile of folded clothes next to him. He falls down onto the bed on the other side of the suitcase, head heavy.

“This for Reggie?” Luke asks, holding up the present he had placed at the bottom of the suitcase.

“Give it, Luke,” Alex grabs for the item, but Luke leans backward out of his reach.

“I just wanted to know what you got him,” Luke teases, turning the red wrapped present in his hands.

“Luke,” Alex warns, holding out his hand.

Luke grins, placing the item in his open palm. Alex immediately shoves it into his backpack, glaring at Luke with warm cheeks.

"You like him, don't you?" Luke asks, voice softer, but still teasing.

"Luke, I will kick you out if you don't drop this."

Luke holds up his hands in mock surrender. “ O kay, okay, it’s dropped,” he says. The silence lasts for a total of six seconds before he leans close, eyes curious. “ B ut what did you get him?”

“I’m not going to tell you,” Alex says, rolling his eyes. He knows how it goes.

Luke pouts as if it will help his attempt. Alex pushes his hand against his face to get him out of the way, only to pull it back immediately as Luke licks his palm.

“Dude. Gross,” Alex exclaims.

Luke only grins proudly in response, until Alex rubs his hand clean against his shirt. “Ew, no, go away,” Luke cries, shooting off the bed.

“It’s your saliva.”

“It is still gross.”

Alex rolls his eyes at the tone Luke uses. Luke responds by sticking his tongue out at him. Then his attention shifts to Alex’s music collection and he runs his fingers over the CD cases, reading the names.

Alex shakes his head at his friend’s back, a smile playing at his lips. He turns to the task next to him, the big suitcase seeming less daunting than before with the neat pile of clothes now next to it.

Luke wanders around the room as Alex packs his suitcase. After a while he starts humming, picking up random items of f shelfs and other surfaces. Eventually he sits down next to the bed, in range of Alex’s foot if Alex would feel the need to kick him. He doesn’t seem to notice.

“It’s getting late, I have to go soon,” Luke says, frowning at the alarm clock on the night stand. He turns to Alex, pushing himself off the floor to help him zip the suitcase closed. “Will you be okay?” Luke asks and Alex is left guessing if he means tonight or the coming week.

“I’m probably going to get very little sleep tonight,” he says.

Luke nods, but the frown between his brows indicates his real feelings about it.

“And the rest of the week?”

“I have Reggie,” Alex says.

Luke smiles softly. He opens his arms, tilting his head in question. Alex takes his invite and wraps his arms around Luke. They stand there until the front door opens. Luke pulls away, squeezing his shoulder a last time, before walking to the window.

“Have fun there, and don’t worry too much,” Luke tells him, pulling up the window.

“I will try,” Alex says.

“Merry Christmas”

“Merry Christmas,” Alex wishes back, closing the window as Luke climbs down. He stays there until Luke disappears on his bike in the dark. Then he turns around, grabbing his suitcase off the bed.

…

The courage he found the night before has almost completely drained away. He swallows thickly before he knocks on the door. Too hard. His knuckles hurt as he pushes his hand back in the pocket of his hoodie. With his fingers tapping rapidly against his stomach he glances over his shoulder at the car. Even if Reggie is only his fake boyfriend, forcing him to spend the coming hours in an enclosed space with his parents isn't something he would wish on anyone.

The sound of someone opening a door on the second floor followed by them rushing down the stairs is audible from where he is standing outside.

Reggie opens the door, panting slightly. His eyes light up when he sees him and Alex can't help but smile back. Not that he would want to stop himself.

"Hey," Alex says, pulling his hand out his hoodie's pocket to wave shortly. The cold morning air licks at his exposed wrist and fingers.

"Hi," Reggie smiles at him, soft and secure, taking away some of Alex’s uneas e. "I need to get my bag from upstairs and then I'm ready to go. Y ou wanna come in while you wait?"

Alex remembers his dad's eyes looking at him through the mirror just before he opened the car door. Icy and cold. His mom hadn't looked at him in months, not since he came out, and today hadn't been an exception.

He shakes his head, "I'll wait here."

Reggie's eyes shift to look past him before he nods, leaving the door open as he steps back.

Alex suppress es the need to look back at the car a second time. He squeezes his eyes shut. I have Reggie and it will be okay, he tells himself.

Reggie appears again, now with his duffle bag in hand, grinning at him, and Alex almost believes himself.

Chapter Text

Reggie storms down the stairs, the heavy weight of his duffel bag hitting his hip with every step he skips. His footsteps are loud on the worn-down carpet that had once covered the entirety of the stairs completely. Normally he wouldn’t dare to make so much noise, afraid it would anger his parents, but he is leaving for almost a whole week and it’s not like they’ll remember when he gets back. So if he jumps extra hard down onto the wooden floor. No one can blame him.

Reggie smiles at himself in the mirror that hangs opposite from the staircase, his face blurred by the dust covering it. He plucks his winter jacket from the hanger underneath, already wearing his leather one.

Alex is still standing where he left him. His discomfort would be invisible to anyone else, hidden by the mask he has learned to wear, but Reggie knows where to look. Alex's shoulders are tense and his right foot is soundlessly tapping the ground. Reggie wants to wrap his arms around him, but he restrains himself, unsure if Alex would appreciate the touch right now. Instead he grins, and when Alex’s shoulders relax, even if only by an inch, his smile widens.

Alex reaches out, taking the duffel bag from him in silence, nudging them both towards the car.

Reggie glances at Alex. He’s more at ease, but still radiates nervousness. He keeps his eyes trained on the rear tire of the car, not meeting Reggie's.

Reggie's mind is already racing, filled with thoughts and questions. How are you doing? Do you want to go through with this? Is it going to be like this the entire time? Do you want me to stop? Can I do something?

He settles on, “How did you sleep?”

Alex turns to him, though still not actually looking at him.

"Alex?"

Alex’s eyes flick up, stopping somewhere around Reggie's chin before he looks away and opens the trunk, shielding himself from Reggie’s question.

Reggie shuffles closer to the car, back within Alex's eyesight, but Alex blatantly ignores him. Alex's eyes are glued to his own hands as he places Reggie’s bag into the trunk with stiff motions and too much care.

Reggie huffs out a breath, folding his arms. Apparently Alex is going to be difficult about what's bothering him.

“Are you cold?” Alex asked, pushing the trunk shut.

“Did you even sleep?” Reggie retorts. He bumps his shoulder against Alex’s to show that he carries no ill meaning.

Alex rolls his eyes, pushing past him, still not looking at him. “Of course I slept.”

“You’re one of the worst liars in existence.”

“Why did you ask then?” Alex doesn’t give him time to answer as he opens the car door, half-heartedly pushing Reggie inside.

Reggie shuffles across the rear seat, placing his backpack between his legs. He greets Mr. and Mrs. Mercer, who greet him back, but the whole exchange lacks enthusiasm. He doesn’t mind that much, he isn’t here for them, he’s here for Alex.

Alex who won't tell him what's wrong.

“Is that road still blocked because of construction, or did they finish?” Mr Mercer asks Reggie.

“They cleared it up last weekend, sir.”

“Good,” he mutters under his breath, completely focusing on the road.

Alex shifts around, grabbing his headphones and Walkman out of the inside pocket of his jean jacket. Reggie watches him in silence. Normally he would poke and nudge Alex with questions and concerns until the boy acknowledged that he was, in fact, stuck in his own head. Never going as far as forcing him to share the reasons behind his anxiety, but enough to make it obvious to Alex that he isn't alone.

But they aren't alone. The silence coming from the front seats is almost louder than the screaming match his parents got in the night before.

He stares at Alex from the corner of his eyes. At his tense shoulders and stuffed away hands. At the way his fingers are curled tightly around the cuffs of his hoodie and his nails dig into the fabric.

Reggie wants to reach out, do something. Anything, if that means he can help. But he can’t, he simply can’t do anything. He has to leave Alex with his own thoughts. Reggie is not even a meter away and yet there are thousands of miles between them.

Reggie leans forwards, fishing a book out of his own bag. He flips through the book until he reaches the page he dogeared last night. He settles into the seat, eyes scanning over the paper to find the place where he had stopped.

Halfway through the next page, the car turns sharply. Unprepared for the sudden turn, Reggie collides against Alex, the seat belt digging in his side.

He turns to apologize, but he snaps his mouth shut when his eyes fly over the people in the front seats.

Apologizing to your boyfriend for leaning against him would be suspicious, wouldn't it? He questions himself. But so would be moving away like you burned yourself.

He swallows, collecting all the courage he owns. He forces his muscles to relax, as if the entire situation isn’t causing his heartbeat to pick up a faster rhythm. He rests his head on Alex's shoulder, expecting to be shrugged off. However, Alex lets him, even shifting in a way that Reggie's head stays on his shoulder when they take another turn.

Reggie blinks up at the car’s ceiling, stunned by the fact that the action has turned out in his favour. The book sits uselessly in his hands. He holds it up so he can continue reading, but the letters seem to dance over the page.

Eventually Alex leans back against him, his cheek pressed against Reggie's hair. Reggie can hear the bass of the song that's faintly playing in Alex's ear.

He pretends to read another page, letting his eyes wander over the words. It isn't as interesting as listening to Alex's soft music or focusing on the feeling of his chest rising and falling. He blinks at the far away window, the sky rolling by in a blur. He stuffs his book back into his bag, careful not to move away from Alex's side. Slowly he snakes his arm around Alex’s waist, curling closer. Alex doesn’t say anything, and Reggie lets his eyes fall shut. 

An unknown amount of time has passed when Alex removes his headphones. The music stops, causing Reggie to wake up. He keeps his eyes closed, drifting somewhere in between consciousness and sleep. Alex shifts around, but his movements are slow and gentle, keeping Reggie leaning against him.

Reggie feels a bubbly feeling taking over as Alex puts an arm around him, pulling him closer. He breathes out, letting sleep reclaim him.

… 

Alex lightly shakes his shoulder, waking him. “We’re here,” he whispers as Reggie blinks awake.

Reggie sits upright, rubbing his eyes. His cheek feels weird and when he presses his hands against his face, he can feel the indent Alex’s hoodie left. It's probably red, his brain provides helpfully.

Alex's arm slips off his shoulders. He pulls his hand through his hair and Reggie wonders if his own hair is as much of a mess too.

The car slows down as a big wooden cabin appears through the windshield. Reggie is sure that the windows on the first floor are big enough to make it possible to use them as doors to the roof over the large porch. As the car takes a last turn, he notices a second cabin down the mountain, the two houses connected with a paved road.

The excitement of new and interesting causes the last of remainders of sleep to fade from his mind.

Someone appears from the shadows of the second cabin, making her way towards them. Alex’s mom gets out, meeting the lady in the middle.

“When I missed that school trip three years ago it was because I was at her wedding to my uncle,” Alex whispers in his ear, unbuckling his seatbelt. Reggie follows his lead, having to look away from the house and Alex's aunt.

Alex’s dad turns off the engine and gets out of the car himself without looking at them. Reggie doesn’t mind.

“That cabin has more bedrooms, and this one” — Alex nods towards the cabin they stopped in front of — “has the bigger diningroom and kitchen, and our rooms.” He opens the door, slipping out of the car.

Reggie follows him, eyes jumping over the new scenery. The realisation that he doesn't know where he is dawns on him. He grabs hold of the edge of Alex’s sleeve, former excitement being replaced by the feeling that he's out of his element.

The air is cold and icy around them, suggesting that more snow will fall soon. A thin layer covers the plants and the pavement, but it’s already disappearing where the heat is radiating off the car. There isn’t any snow on the roof either, and Reggie briefly wonders who turned on the heat in the house.

He breathes in deeply, taking in the smell of wet earth and pine trees.

He catches slivers of the conversation while Alex’s dad pulls the baggage out the trunk. Eventually the lady nods towards where Alex and Reggie stand next to the car. With a hand movement in their direction, but without turning, Alex’s mom introduces Reggie as Alex’s friend , who would be staying with them for the holidays.

Reggie squeezes Alex’s sleeve, wanting to speak up, but the way Alex has his eyes trained on the ground and his lips pushed into an almost invisible line stops him from doing so.

It takes another ten minutes of chatting before they separate with a promise that Alex’s mom will come down to their cabin when she is done unpacking.

Reggie lets go of Alex’s hoodie in favour of grabbing his duffel bag. He wants to grab one of the boxes, but Alex’s dad shakes his head.

“We don’t want you to drop anything,” he says. And if one of the boys would have said it, it would have been a joke, them teasing how he can be quite clumsy sometimes. But that’s not the case now, Mr. Mercer’s tone cold and serious. Reggie tries to not slump into himself, before nodding and averting his eyes.

“I’m going to show Reggie our room,” Alex tells his parents, his hand finding the small of Reggie’s back, between his leather jacket and his backpack. “We will go unpack.”

They don’t respond as Alex turns them around, his suitcase in one hand, pushing Reggie towards the cabin with the other.

He unlocks the front door, leaving it open as he steps inside. Reggie gapes as he follows, eyes dancing through the entrance hall. It isn’t as huge as ones he has seen on television, but it’s still big. There are double doors on both the walls perpendicular from where they're standing and a flight of stairs that disappears up against the back wall. There is already a Christmas tree in the corner of the room, but it isn’t decorated yet.

Maybe we could decorate it together?  

“The diningroom and kitchen are both that way.” Alex points at the right door, moving towards the stairs. “And a living room is that way.” He nods towards the other set of double doors.

“Wow,” Reggie mutters under his breath, rushing after Alex as the boy starts making his way up the stairs.

Alex glances past him, his eyes searching. Finding nothing, he drops the neutral expression that he had been wearing all day. Reggie lets out a sigh of relief. It's good to know that Alex feels comfortable enough to stop masking now it's just the two of them.

"Did I tell you I don’t like my parents," Alex says. He lifts his suitcase to the first floor, fingers drumming on the handrailing.

"Yes, but I think you should say it again," Reggie replies. He hoists up his bag on his shoulder, following Alex through the hallway. He hates them for making Alex feel like he isn’t worth being himself.

"Well, I don’t like them," Alex says, matter of factly, causing Reggie to chuckle. “I hate how they treat you. You don’t deserve that.”

“You don’t deserve it either.”

Alex hums noncommittally.

“You don’t,” Reggie repeats, wanting to keep saying it until Alex believes it as the truth it is, then continuing because he can, because he wants to.

They stop next to a door that has a sign with Alex's name. The natural wood is old and weathered, just like the once colourful painted letters on the sign. As Alex fumbles with the key, Reggie lets his bag fall on the ground, stretching his back. His spine pops and he lets out a soft groan. He is glad that the car ride is over.

He runs his fingers gently over the letters of Alex's name, smiling warmly at the sign. The letters go from a red to orange to yellow with a pink border around the name.

Maybe I didn't know Alex when he made this, but seeing it, nothing has changed. Not really.

"By the way, did your mom really called me your good friend ?" Reggie asks, not wanting to leave it untouched.

"Well, you are one of my best friends," Alex says, bumping his shoulder against Reggie's. He returns his focus back to the lock immediately after. The keyhole seems to have rusted at the edges from disuse.

"Well, I am," Reggie repeats, "but your mom thinks we're dating, so she shouldn't have said that."

Alex shrugs his shoulders, but Reggie still sees the glance he sends his way. Reggie opens his mouth to say something, anything. However, Alex is faster.

"Finally," he mutters, as the door clicks open. He steps into the room, suitcase trailing behind him. He holds the door open with his foot, looking over his shoulder at Reggie, head tilted slightly.

Reggie blinks, before closing his mouth and hurrying into the room.

Alex closes the door behind him, leaving his suitcase next to it. "I need to go to the bathroom," he says, pulling off his hoodie as he walks to the door on the right wall.

Reggie catches a glimpse of the sink, before the door clicks shut behind Alex.

His eyes dance through the room, falling on the bed that takes up most of the small space. And there was only one bed, a voice in his head says, sounding a little bit too much like Luke.

He swallows, before shaking his head. Sunset Curve wasn't shy on physical touch. He had stayed over at each of his friends houses, which often ended up in having to share a bed. It had always been that way, nothing new, nothing strange. He knows that, but still his cheeks heat up at the knowledge of having to share a bed with Alex for the foreseeable future.

He looks away, forcing himself to think of something else. He pushes aside the old red curtains, peeking through the window. There’s snow on the roof of the veranda. He can’t see the front of the house from here, but the sounds of a car stopping and people talking reaches him nonetheless.

Reggie lets the curtains fall back when the toilet flushes. He turns around, spotting the painting hanging above the dresser, next to the bathroom door. Reggie stares at it, frowning slightly at the abnormal blue colour of the sky. It shows a mountain slide, a cabin painted in a few brush strokes at the bottom.

He is still staring when Alex opens the door.

“Don’t like it?” Alex asks, placing his suitcase on the bed. He sits down next to it, pulling open the first drawer.

“No, that’s not it.” Reggie shakes his head, shuffling closer. He shoves his bag closer with his foot, before letting himself fall to the ground next to Alex.

“Where is it?” he questions as he unzips his bag. He glances up at Alex, who doesn’t seem to notice. He nudges Alex’s knee, which does get his attention.

Alex lightly kicks his thigh in response. “Bottom drawer,” he says, before looking up at the painting. “It’s actually this cabin. It has been around since forever.”

Reggie hums, starting to transfer his clothing into the drawer. When he is done, he shoves the bag underneath the bed. He stands up, only to let himself fall onto the mattress.

He rolls on his side, poking Alex’s lower back. “What are we gonna do?”

“Well, my parents would probably expect us downstairs soon.”

Reggie groans. Alex snickers, slapping his hands away when Reggie tries to poke him again.

“Quit it, if we do this now, we’ll likely be left on our own for the rest of the week,” Alex says, pushing his suitcase under the bed too. He stands up, looking down at Reggie with a raised eyebrow.

“Fine, fine,” Reggie says, standing up too.

“Ready to meet the family?” Alex jokes as he bumps his shoulder against Reggie's. He eyes Reggie playfully, daring him in a way.

Reggie grins, because even if this is new and different, they aren't. He takes the hand Alex is offering him.

"Bring it on, drummer boy."